Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Humor At Its Lamest ❯ Introductions ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: sailorbluestar 
The introductions of some of the wacky characters featured.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.11.2001 | Pages: 5 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 410 | Status: Completed
The introductions of some of the wacky characters featured.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.11.2001 | Pages: 5 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 410 | Status: Completed
Title: Humor At Its Lamest (1)
Author: Sailor Bluestar
Email: sailorbluestar@yahoo.com
Pairs: umm...it's almost classified as an orgy, no
definite pairings seen. hehehehehehehe...
Category: yaoi, yuri, humor, squicking, het, major
sarcasm and many more probably
Notes: R-NC17
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own them, just the
cracked out idea for this thing.
Notes: There will be some references of other animes.
~Introductions~
Sailor Bluestar: All righty now! Allow me to
introduce to you the cast of this fic! First off,
we'll start with Yuy Heero! Come on out!
Heero: *gets pushed out* Omae o korosu.
Sailor Bluestar: Same you to buddy! Same to you.
Anyway! Heero is gundam pilot 01 of Gundam Wing and
Wing Zero. Take a look at his number folks, 0 and 1.
Me thinks that Zero is screwing Heero in that scene.
Heero: ...
Sailor Bluestar: Ah Heero, silent as always eh Perfect
Soldier? All right, now for our next victim on Deaths
R Us, Duo Maxwell, also known as Shinigami to friends
and freshly killed enemies. He certainly lives up to
his name, both of 'em!
Duo: *struts in waving at the audience*
Sailor Bluestar: Duo is gundam pilot 02 of Gundam
Deathsycthe and Deathsycthe Hell. Whoever came up
with the latter's name is really dumb.
G: I resent that!
Sailor Bluestar: Anyway... Same with Duo's number, 0
and 2, Zero is screwing Duo. And I thought it had
eyes only for Heero!
Audience: OOOOOOOO!!!
Sailor Bluestar: Now for our wonderful entertainer for
Who's Line is it Anyways! Trowa Barton! Also known
as Nanashi and Triton Bloom. My, he lives up to his
number! Even if he doesn't talk.
Trowa: *walks in* ...
Sailor Bluestar: Trowa is gundam pilot 03 of Gundam
Heavyarms and...Heavyarms? Okay... Just look at the
number folks, 0 and 3, need I say more?
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: Ah, insightful as ever Trowa. Now
for our next contestant on Who Wants To Be A
Million-er-Billion-um-Rich Guy! I introduce to you
Quatre Raberba Winner! Try saying that three times
fast!
Quatre: *walks in* Hello everyone.
Sailor Bluestar: Yeah...that's nice snookums. Quatre
is gundam pilot 04 of Gundam Sandrock and...Sandrock?
Okay...how...original? Again, 0 and 4.
Quatre: *blushes*
Sailor Bluestar: You make me gag cutie. Onto our next
justice raving freak on COPS, the widowed Chang Wufei!
Wufei: INJUSTICE!
Sailor Bluestar: Yep, that's what they all say. Our
Wu-man here-
Wufei: That's WuFEI!
Sailor Bluestar: Yeah, whatever, as I was saying
before I was so rudely interrupted, this guy is gundam
pilot 05 of Gundam Shenlong and Altron, both of which
he refers to as 'Nataku' after his late wife.
Awwwww...
Wufei: Onna no baka.
Sailor Bluestar: I'm sure you even say that to Sally
Po.
Wufei: *humph*
Sailor Bluestar: Now what would Meiran and Sally say
if they found out that you've been cheating on them
with Zero? Zero's been getting around hasn't he. Is
it true that you have something going on with a
certain Lightning Count and the general of Oz?
Wufei: *flushes* No comment onna.
Sailor Bluestar: Up next is Zechs Merquise, formerly
known as Milliardo Peacecraft. Even for the love of
me, I can't see the resemblance to Relena Peacecraft.
Duo: Me neither.
Sailor Bluestar: I'm glad we agree on something here.
Zechs: *walks in* Evening.
Sailor Bluestar: *glances at watch* Damn, you're
right! Okay, the skinny on Mr. Lightning Count. He
is referred to as gundam pilot 06 due to the fact that
he could pilot the Gundam Prototype Tallgeese. Just
who makes up these lousy names anyway?
Zechs: *shrugs elegantly* I don't know.
Sailor Bluestar: Ah, graceful as always. But I do
understand that you also piloted Gundam Epyon.
Zechs: That is correct.
Sailor Bluestar: Incredible. Indeed you are something
to be worshiped.
Zechs: Thank you.
Sailor Bluestar: Next is Noin Lu-Lucren oh what the
hey, Noin!
Noin: *walks in* *humph*
Sailor Bluestar: Well folks Noin is considered as
pilot 09 due to her piloting skills. Now, taking a
look at 0 and 9, I wonder how Zero happens to be
screwing Noin when she hasn't even piloted the damn
thing.
Noin: I wasn't the writer.
Sailor Bluestar: Good point. If you were, you'd have
it so that you and Zechs would run off into the
universe, happy as a clam. But since I'M writing this
fic, you get stuck with someone else and Zechs is in a
threesome with Treize and Wufei. Which kinda brings
me back to Trowa, since his number is 03. So, Trowa,
ever consider a threesome with the other pilots?
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: Good answer kiddo.
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: I can damn well call you kiddo.
After all, during the series, you were suggested to be
15 years old and I'm 18! So there! :P
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: F^@% you. Now, onto our next victim.
Lady Une.
Une: *comes in with her hair up and glasses on*
Sailor Bluestar: Um...I said LADY Une, not Col Une.
Une: Deal with it.
Sailor Bluestar: *glares* Don't make me sic a nasty,
out of place bishonen from another series on you!
After all, you want to stay 'loyal' to Treize right?
Une: *pales* *takes off her glasses and takes down
her hair*
Sailor Bluestar: Much better. Lady Une is considered
11 for whatever reason the writers of the series
wanted. Now, this is a delightful change. 1 and 1.
Tsk tsk. Never thought Heero would be the
masterbating type.
Duo: Heero?! I never knew!
Heero: *flushes*
Sailor Bluestar: It gets worse Duo. Take a look at
our next cast member. Treize Khushrenada. What a
last name eh?
Treize: *walks in* Charmed to meet you. I hope you
have roses around here and some lovely wine.
Sailor Bluestar: -_-' Treize is the general of Oz and
considered guy 13 for reasons unknown except that the
writers might have been high. He did build Gundam
Epyon though, so I guess he qualifies as a gundam
pilot, even though I don't think he's ever flown the
damn thing.
Treize: *humph*
Sailor Bluestar: Oh my, look Duo. Treize's number is
1 and 3. Our Spandex Boy is playing naughty and nice
with Trowa!
Duo: *glares at Heero* Heero!
Heero: *looks at Trowa* You told didn't you!
Trowa: ...
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Sailor Bluestar: Down boy or I'll sic Relena on you!
Heero: I'll be good!
Sailor Bluestar: Now to introduce to you our more
civilian casts. First off is Relena Dorlain, formerly
Relena Peacecraft. *shakes head* I still find it
hard to believe you're related to Zechs.
Relena: *rushes in* HEEERRRRROOOOO!!!!!
Heero: *hides behind Duo* Leave me alone!
Relena: Oh Heero, we are meant to be with each other!
Heero: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Sailor Bluestar: Relena, restrain yourself. You are
on the air! As the former Princess of the Sanc
Kingdom and Queen of the World, and as a person of
peace, do sit down.
Relena: *sits right by Heero*
Heero: *edges away to the other side of Duo,
whimpering*
Treize: Never thought I'd see the day when such a fine
warrior would tremble before a mere girl. *sigh*
Sailor Bluestar: Next is Dorothy Catalina.
Dorothy: *walks in and stands by Relena* Miss Relena,
are you all right?
Relena: Of course I am. I'd be even better with Heero
as my husband.
Dorothy: -_-'
Sailor Bluestar: Dorothy - not to be mistaken with
Dorothy in 'The Wizard of Oz', is Treize's cousin.
Note the funky eyebrows. Also related to Treize is
our youthfully ambitious Mariemaia Khushrenada.
Mariemaia: *comes out giggling with an evil gleam*
Treize: *sniff* I'm so proud to have such a
manipulative daughter!
Sailor Bluestar: Mariemaia is manipulative and played
the pawn in the second war, a year after the first.
Marimeia: We would have won if it wasn't for you
gundam pilots interfering.
Sailor Bluestar: ...yeah... Now for Hilde Sch-not
gonna bother- Hilde!
Hilde: What kind of host are you anyway? Can't even
get my last name right!
Sailor Bluestar: Hilde infiltrated Oz to gain
information for our lovely long hair in a braid
bishonen, Duo!
Hilde: Damn straight! And what did I get in return?
Nothing other than being tossed into a cell! I just
wanted to date that guy! Is that so hard to ask?
Heero: Hai.
Hilde: Shut up!
Sailor Bluestar: Oh and we mustn't forget the ever
knife throwing Catherine Bloom! She's Trowa's sister!
Catherine: *comes in with knives, grinning at Quatre*
Sailor Bluestar: I don't really feel like naming all
of the Maganacs, so I won't.
Quatre: They're people too ya know!
Sailor Bluestar: Don't worry, they'll be fine. Next
is our medical officer, Sally Po. Say hello to
Wu-man, your lover!
Wufei: That's-
Sally: *walks in* I don't think so Chang Wufei. Your
name is whatever I say it is. I kinda like Wu-man and
all those other pet names.
Wufei: Onna!
Sailor Bluestar: Here's a special surprise for you too
Wu-man, it's Meiran!
Meiran: How dare you use my name with such dishonor
husband! And cheating on me too!
Wufei: I can explain!!! I am a widow!
Meiran: *rolls eyes* Barely married for a year and
you're off having an affair with the enemy!
Sailor Bluestar: Yeah... That's all for today! Stay
tuned to see what we do with our
victims-er-volunteers! Good night everyone!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Behind the scenes:
Sailor Bluestar: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you are
all under my control!
Wufei: Injustice!
Duo: At least she hasn't written you into many fanfics
of hers.
Sailor Bluestar: Oh Duo! Zechs! I think I hear Never
Again and The Fight Over You calling to be finished!
Heero: Duo...and Zechs? Zechs, omae o korosu.
Zechs: What can I say, Sailor Bluestar has a soft side
for long haired bishonen. Just take a look at Kurama.
Kurama: Please, leave me out of this. She plans on
torturing me in other fics or her own mental fic.
Quatre: And everyone think I'm nuts. So what if I
went Zero and destroyed a few colonies. Sailor
Bluestar is worse!
Treize: Quiet fool! She might hear you.
Sailor Bluestar: I think I hear a fic calling for you
Treize.
Treize: How come she doesn't write about Quatre and
Trowa?
Trowa: ...
Quatre: *translating* She isn't as fond of us as she
is with Duo and Zechs or Heero.
Zechs: *whistles* All that in three dots?
Quatre: *blushes* When you've been around Trowa for
as long as I have, you pick up these things.
Zechs: o_O' Well, at least she didn't pair you up
with Karasu.
Karasu: Zechs! Babe! I've been looking all over for
you. *glances at Kurama and Duo* Ooooo...foursome!
Kurama and Duo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
-end for now-
Author: Sailor Bluestar
Email: sailorbluestar@yahoo.com
Pairs: umm...it's almost classified as an orgy, no
definite pairings seen. hehehehehehehe...
Category: yaoi, yuri, humor, squicking, het, major
sarcasm and many more probably
Notes: R-NC17
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own them, just the
cracked out idea for this thing.
Notes: There will be some references of other animes.
~Introductions~
Sailor Bluestar: All righty now! Allow me to
introduce to you the cast of this fic! First off,
we'll start with Yuy Heero! Come on out!
Heero: *gets pushed out* Omae o korosu.
Sailor Bluestar: Same you to buddy! Same to you.
Anyway! Heero is gundam pilot 01 of Gundam Wing and
Wing Zero. Take a look at his number folks, 0 and 1.
Me thinks that Zero is screwing Heero in that scene.
Heero: ...
Sailor Bluestar: Ah Heero, silent as always eh Perfect
Soldier? All right, now for our next victim on Deaths
R Us, Duo Maxwell, also known as Shinigami to friends
and freshly killed enemies. He certainly lives up to
his name, both of 'em!
Duo: *struts in waving at the audience*
Sailor Bluestar: Duo is gundam pilot 02 of Gundam
Deathsycthe and Deathsycthe Hell. Whoever came up
with the latter's name is really dumb.
G: I resent that!
Sailor Bluestar: Anyway... Same with Duo's number, 0
and 2, Zero is screwing Duo. And I thought it had
eyes only for Heero!
Audience: OOOOOOOO!!!
Sailor Bluestar: Now for our wonderful entertainer for
Who's Line is it Anyways! Trowa Barton! Also known
as Nanashi and Triton Bloom. My, he lives up to his
number! Even if he doesn't talk.
Trowa: *walks in* ...
Sailor Bluestar: Trowa is gundam pilot 03 of Gundam
Heavyarms and...Heavyarms? Okay... Just look at the
number folks, 0 and 3, need I say more?
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: Ah, insightful as ever Trowa. Now
for our next contestant on Who Wants To Be A
Million-er-Billion-um-Rich Guy! I introduce to you
Quatre Raberba Winner! Try saying that three times
fast!
Quatre: *walks in* Hello everyone.
Sailor Bluestar: Yeah...that's nice snookums. Quatre
is gundam pilot 04 of Gundam Sandrock and...Sandrock?
Okay...how...original? Again, 0 and 4.
Quatre: *blushes*
Sailor Bluestar: You make me gag cutie. Onto our next
justice raving freak on COPS, the widowed Chang Wufei!
Wufei: INJUSTICE!
Sailor Bluestar: Yep, that's what they all say. Our
Wu-man here-
Wufei: That's WuFEI!
Sailor Bluestar: Yeah, whatever, as I was saying
before I was so rudely interrupted, this guy is gundam
pilot 05 of Gundam Shenlong and Altron, both of which
he refers to as 'Nataku' after his late wife.
Awwwww...
Wufei: Onna no baka.
Sailor Bluestar: I'm sure you even say that to Sally
Po.
Wufei: *humph*
Sailor Bluestar: Now what would Meiran and Sally say
if they found out that you've been cheating on them
with Zero? Zero's been getting around hasn't he. Is
it true that you have something going on with a
certain Lightning Count and the general of Oz?
Wufei: *flushes* No comment onna.
Sailor Bluestar: Up next is Zechs Merquise, formerly
known as Milliardo Peacecraft. Even for the love of
me, I can't see the resemblance to Relena Peacecraft.
Duo: Me neither.
Sailor Bluestar: I'm glad we agree on something here.
Zechs: *walks in* Evening.
Sailor Bluestar: *glances at watch* Damn, you're
right! Okay, the skinny on Mr. Lightning Count. He
is referred to as gundam pilot 06 due to the fact that
he could pilot the Gundam Prototype Tallgeese. Just
who makes up these lousy names anyway?
Zechs: *shrugs elegantly* I don't know.
Sailor Bluestar: Ah, graceful as always. But I do
understand that you also piloted Gundam Epyon.
Zechs: That is correct.
Sailor Bluestar: Incredible. Indeed you are something
to be worshiped.
Zechs: Thank you.
Sailor Bluestar: Next is Noin Lu-Lucren oh what the
hey, Noin!
Noin: *walks in* *humph*
Sailor Bluestar: Well folks Noin is considered as
pilot 09 due to her piloting skills. Now, taking a
look at 0 and 9, I wonder how Zero happens to be
screwing Noin when she hasn't even piloted the damn
thing.
Noin: I wasn't the writer.
Sailor Bluestar: Good point. If you were, you'd have
it so that you and Zechs would run off into the
universe, happy as a clam. But since I'M writing this
fic, you get stuck with someone else and Zechs is in a
threesome with Treize and Wufei. Which kinda brings
me back to Trowa, since his number is 03. So, Trowa,
ever consider a threesome with the other pilots?
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: Good answer kiddo.
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: I can damn well call you kiddo.
After all, during the series, you were suggested to be
15 years old and I'm 18! So there! :P
Trowa: ...
Sailor Bluestar: F^@% you. Now, onto our next victim.
Lady Une.
Une: *comes in with her hair up and glasses on*
Sailor Bluestar: Um...I said LADY Une, not Col Une.
Une: Deal with it.
Sailor Bluestar: *glares* Don't make me sic a nasty,
out of place bishonen from another series on you!
After all, you want to stay 'loyal' to Treize right?
Une: *pales* *takes off her glasses and takes down
her hair*
Sailor Bluestar: Much better. Lady Une is considered
11 for whatever reason the writers of the series
wanted. Now, this is a delightful change. 1 and 1.
Tsk tsk. Never thought Heero would be the
masterbating type.
Duo: Heero?! I never knew!
Heero: *flushes*
Sailor Bluestar: It gets worse Duo. Take a look at
our next cast member. Treize Khushrenada. What a
last name eh?
Treize: *walks in* Charmed to meet you. I hope you
have roses around here and some lovely wine.
Sailor Bluestar: -_-' Treize is the general of Oz and
considered guy 13 for reasons unknown except that the
writers might have been high. He did build Gundam
Epyon though, so I guess he qualifies as a gundam
pilot, even though I don't think he's ever flown the
damn thing.
Treize: *humph*
Sailor Bluestar: Oh my, look Duo. Treize's number is
1 and 3. Our Spandex Boy is playing naughty and nice
with Trowa!
Duo: *glares at Heero* Heero!
Heero: *looks at Trowa* You told didn't you!
Trowa: ...
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Sailor Bluestar: Down boy or I'll sic Relena on you!
Heero: I'll be good!
Sailor Bluestar: Now to introduce to you our more
civilian casts. First off is Relena Dorlain, formerly
Relena Peacecraft. *shakes head* I still find it
hard to believe you're related to Zechs.
Relena: *rushes in* HEEERRRRROOOOO!!!!!
Heero: *hides behind Duo* Leave me alone!
Relena: Oh Heero, we are meant to be with each other!
Heero: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Sailor Bluestar: Relena, restrain yourself. You are
on the air! As the former Princess of the Sanc
Kingdom and Queen of the World, and as a person of
peace, do sit down.
Relena: *sits right by Heero*
Heero: *edges away to the other side of Duo,
whimpering*
Treize: Never thought I'd see the day when such a fine
warrior would tremble before a mere girl. *sigh*
Sailor Bluestar: Next is Dorothy Catalina.
Dorothy: *walks in and stands by Relena* Miss Relena,
are you all right?
Relena: Of course I am. I'd be even better with Heero
as my husband.
Dorothy: -_-'
Sailor Bluestar: Dorothy - not to be mistaken with
Dorothy in 'The Wizard of Oz', is Treize's cousin.
Note the funky eyebrows. Also related to Treize is
our youthfully ambitious Mariemaia Khushrenada.
Mariemaia: *comes out giggling with an evil gleam*
Treize: *sniff* I'm so proud to have such a
manipulative daughter!
Sailor Bluestar: Mariemaia is manipulative and played
the pawn in the second war, a year after the first.
Marimeia: We would have won if it wasn't for you
gundam pilots interfering.
Sailor Bluestar: ...yeah... Now for Hilde Sch-not
gonna bother- Hilde!
Hilde: What kind of host are you anyway? Can't even
get my last name right!
Sailor Bluestar: Hilde infiltrated Oz to gain
information for our lovely long hair in a braid
bishonen, Duo!
Hilde: Damn straight! And what did I get in return?
Nothing other than being tossed into a cell! I just
wanted to date that guy! Is that so hard to ask?
Heero: Hai.
Hilde: Shut up!
Sailor Bluestar: Oh and we mustn't forget the ever
knife throwing Catherine Bloom! She's Trowa's sister!
Catherine: *comes in with knives, grinning at Quatre*
Sailor Bluestar: I don't really feel like naming all
of the Maganacs, so I won't.
Quatre: They're people too ya know!
Sailor Bluestar: Don't worry, they'll be fine. Next
is our medical officer, Sally Po. Say hello to
Wu-man, your lover!
Wufei: That's-
Sally: *walks in* I don't think so Chang Wufei. Your
name is whatever I say it is. I kinda like Wu-man and
all those other pet names.
Wufei: Onna!
Sailor Bluestar: Here's a special surprise for you too
Wu-man, it's Meiran!
Meiran: How dare you use my name with such dishonor
husband! And cheating on me too!
Wufei: I can explain!!! I am a widow!
Meiran: *rolls eyes* Barely married for a year and
you're off having an affair with the enemy!
Sailor Bluestar: Yeah... That's all for today! Stay
tuned to see what we do with our
victims-er-volunteers! Good night everyone!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Behind the scenes:
Sailor Bluestar: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you are
all under my control!
Wufei: Injustice!
Duo: At least she hasn't written you into many fanfics
of hers.
Sailor Bluestar: Oh Duo! Zechs! I think I hear Never
Again and The Fight Over You calling to be finished!
Heero: Duo...and Zechs? Zechs, omae o korosu.
Zechs: What can I say, Sailor Bluestar has a soft side
for long haired bishonen. Just take a look at Kurama.
Kurama: Please, leave me out of this. She plans on
torturing me in other fics or her own mental fic.
Quatre: And everyone think I'm nuts. So what if I
went Zero and destroyed a few colonies. Sailor
Bluestar is worse!
Treize: Quiet fool! She might hear you.
Sailor Bluestar: I think I hear a fic calling for you
Treize.
Treize: How come she doesn't write about Quatre and
Trowa?
Trowa: ...
Quatre: *translating* She isn't as fond of us as she
is with Duo and Zechs or Heero.
Zechs: *whistles* All that in three dots?
Quatre: *blushes* When you've been around Trowa for
as long as I have, you pick up these things.
Zechs: o_O' Well, at least she didn't pair you up
with Karasu.
Karasu: Zechs! Babe! I've been looking all over for
you. *glances at Kurama and Duo* Ooooo...foursome!
Kurama and Duo: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
-end for now-