Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ I'd Love You To Love Me ❯ Changing the Rules ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

DISCLAIMER: I don't own gundam wing or any of its characters. I don't even own my car so don't sue me*_*

I'd Love You To Love Me

By: Lara Winner

I'm so afraid to love you

But more afraid to loose

Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose.

Sarah McLachlan

I'm finally starting to get over seeing that dick again. As a result Duo has been really.. nice?.. to me. I say nice because it sounds better than admitting he's giving me the pity treatment. I can't believe I reacted that way in front of Duo and Relena. I didn't even cry when James and I split. My life is so fucked up right now. I feel like I'm spinning out of control and I can't find any stability. I guess I really don't have anyone. I mean Relena has Heero now. Quatre has Catherine. Everyone has someone but me. It's moments like this when I need Duo here to pretend that I belong somewhere just for a little while.

I look at my reflection in the mirror and I force a smile just to check my appearance. My make up is done lightly enough, barely noticeable. My clothes are appropriate, v-neck top and jeans. I look presentable and if I can pull it off just right I'll fool everyone into thinking nothing is wrong.

I tried to get out of going to Relena's end of the summer party, I really did, but when Quatre teams up with her they have a way of making me do things I don't want to do. When I get to her house its mostly our usual crowd. I see a few girls from school and few guys I don't know. Two boys in particular standing off to the side catch my attention.

One is tall, auburn hair and piercing green eyes. The other is a few inches shorter, his hair is dark, pulled back neatly and if I were to guess I'd say he's Chinese. He has a blond standing beside him and her arm is linked in his. As I observe them Duo walks up to them talking animatedly.

"I was wondering when you would get here." A soft voice says.

I turn to Quatre and smile. "You know me, I like to make an entrance."

Taking my hand he begins to lead me over to where Duo and the other boys are standing. "There are some friends of mine that I would like you to meet." He says making his grip tight as I subtly try to slip away.

"Quatre it's okay really." I try to insist.

Quatre ignores me. "Hey guys, this is Hilde." He says brightly pulling me forward, "Hilde I'd like to meet Trowa and Wufei and Sally."

I smile saying hello softly. Sally smiles brightly at me as Wufei nods his head in acknowledgement while Trowa says hello in return. I try not to smile as Duo folds his arms and glares at me.

"Fine, don't say hello to me. I see how you want to be." Duo huffs.

"I saw you at work yesterday. You don't count." I grin, walking away before he can goad me into a verbal sparing match. He's been doing this, trying incessantly to cheer me up but he doesn't realize that's the last thing I need right now. Especially when he's half the problem. What I need from him is what he's not going to give.

I spend a good part of the night just trying to avoid everybody whenever possible. Joey cornered me at one point, so did Relena and this girl Jamie from school. I had to listen to her babble inanely for what seemed like hours on end about how she spent her summer traveling in Europe and Asia. The snotty, stuck up little bitch just loves to rub in and brag about everything she does. I don't know how Lena puts up with her. But I bear it, and with the risk of being two faced, I smile and pretend I'm interested in everything Jamie has to say and then I breathe a sigh of relief when she finally finds someone else to blabber off to.

Taking the opening given I head out onto the balcony and light me a cigarette. My nerves are shot. I just need to be alone for two minutes. That's when I notice the pair of green eyes watching me a few feet away.

Before I can dart back inside he walks over to me, giving me this small hesitant smile. "You're Hilde right?"

"Yep, that's me." I say knowing I sound completely lame.

"Duo's mentioned you before."

I try to hide the depth of my surprise. "Really? I wonder what he said this time."

Trowa smiles and I notice for the first time that he is quite handsome. He doesn't have that same raw sexual energy that Duo has but there is something about him that is striking. His voice is soft, almost impassively calm. "All good things I assure you."

"Well, I'm not exactly a good little girl." I laugh. "Don't let my blue eyes fool you."

His smile widens, "So you're not an angel incarnate. That's hardly a crime."

"Oh I don't know about that." I mumble. Seems to me like my life is just one big punishment and I don't remember doing anything so terribly wrong, at least not to deserve this…

The more I talk to Trowa, the more I find him to be very interesting. He's a nice guy, decent and seems to have a smidgen more common sense than most guys I know. I actually forget things for a little while and begin to enjoy myself with him. Suddenly time seems to fly. I hadn't realized we'd been out here on the balcony for the better part of two hours until Catherine comes looking for him. Now that I see them standing together I note the resemblance between them. For a moment I envy them. It sucks being an only child.

I follow the two of them back inside glad to see that most of the crowd is beginning to leave. I smile and say goodbye to the hypocritical people that I don't talk to the entire school year but from the way they hug me you'd swear we were best friends. I know why Relena invites them, because she grew up with these girls, went to the same country club with them, shops at the same expensive department stores, and her Daddy is probably good friends with their Daddies. It still makes me wonder just how in the hell Relena and I became best friends. I mean I live in middle class suburbia, in the heart of the blue-collar district. I've never even seen the outside of a country club much less ever been inside one. My dad doesn't shake hands with the big shots. My dad slaves 7:00 to 5:00 every day in an office putting money in the big shot's pockets for them. I'm not rich. I don't come from old money. And when she begs me to come to these parties and put up with these snobs I can't help but feel completely out of place.

And judging form the way Duo is clinging to Heero and Wufei's side I bet he feels out of pace too.

I force myself not to look at him. I've been stealing glances at him all night. I've kept mental note of every girl he's talked to. Even when I was outside with Trowa I kept peeking inside trying to see him. I have got to stop this.

"Well it's been fun but I'm heading out." I say standing up from where I was sitting on the arm of the couch.

"De come on. It's still early." Relena looks at her watch, "It's only ten after twelve." She pleads.

I mimic her pitiful look as I insist, "I have to bring my dad to work in the morning." I lie. It's a safe excuse. "I need to go nitie nite."

"Since your heading that way can you drop me off at my house?" Duo asks.

I love fate's sick sense of humor, I really do. But as much as I need to get away from him I need to be near him. I'm weak and I hate myself for it. "If you want, sure." I say forcing a smile.

Trowa intercedes, "If you want to stay Duo you can get a ride with me."

I hold my breath.

"Nah, thanks anyway but I'm ready to go."

So Duo and I say our good byes and we leave. He's pretty quiet as I drive and I keep glancing at him. He's not the silent type, I know something's on his mind. If anything is wrong I want him to talk to me about it. I want to be there for him, if he'll let me. But he keeps quiet and continues staring out the window, looking a million miles away. I sigh as I turn the car onto his street.

The soft sound seems to shake him out of thoughts and he sits up a little straighter. "Had fun tonight?" He asks curiously.

I shrug as I pull the car to a stop in front of his house, killing the engine. "It was okay."

"Where did you and Trowa disappear to?"

His question catches me off guard. First of all, I'm surprised he even noticed that I was gone, and secondly, I can't tell if there is an undertone of anger in his voice. I mentally shake myself. Hard. This is Duo I'm talking about. He's just being nosy, anything more than that would be wishful thinking on my part.

"We were talking outside." I reply carefully weighing his reaction.

"Oh. Must have been an interesting conversation." He says and again I wonder if I'm imagining the hint of sarcasm in his tone.

"Yes it was. He's nice just like his sister."

At this Duo folds his arms over his chest and pouts dramatically. "You didn't come and talk to me. Am I getting boring? Ya know, you have to tell me these things. I can't become boring, imagine that, it would horrible." He exclaims in mock panic.

I chuckle to myself despite my disappointment. I expected it right? So I do the only thing I can do, I grin at him patting his hand sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

I know what he's doing and I know I can't refuse him. "How can I make it up to you?"

He gives me this measuring look, and smiles. "Well for starters you can sit yourself right here." He says pointing to his lap.

I knew there was a good reason why this piece of shit Crown Vic was so damn big. I scoot my ass across the front seat and straddle his lap. He reclines his seat so my head isn't pressed up against the ceiling. I slip my arms around his neck and shake my head. "Don't you think we should do this someplace a little more private? Your neighbors might get an eye full."

His smile turns sinfully wicked. "If they wanna watch let 'em watch."

"Duo!" I know I'm not a prude but this crazy. We're outside Duo's house. His father could walk out at any moment. Chances are he won't but still. Anyone could catch us.

Duo stops my next comment with his lips. I'm hopeless because the second he kisses me I forget everything. It doesn't matter that we're in my car, it doesn't matter that he's just using my body, it doesn't even matter that I love him. I just need to feel him. There's nearly a similar urgency in the way he's touching me. His hands are roaming all over me, under my shirt and unhooking my jeans.

He doesn't give me any warning before he flips me in the seat. Now I'm the one on my back and I let him have his way with me. He can't get my clothes off fast enough. I moan and whimper as he touches me in all the right places. And I scream as everything erupts in a haze of ecstasy.

Then a half an hour later I'm alone in my bed crying myself to sleep…

Whenever I believe that things can't get any worse, they do. It seems like every time I think I'm at the bottom my world crumbles a little more just to prove that I can go even lower. School started with out a hitch. All my classes are easy and all my teachers seem pretty cool. I cut my hours at work down to the weekends because Dad demands that I have time to study. Relena and I have a lot to handle being on the student council but everything sees to be running smooth. I even managed to start distancing myself from Duo a little. I see him on the weekends now but he still calls me at least once during the week. My mood has lifted and I thought I was getting myself on track. I was even beginning to think that maybe Duo and I could eventually develop into something. Things were going good.

Until the night I attended his wrestling match.

Duo and Trowa are both on the wrestling team at Ridgemont. At Duo's prompting I went to my first wrestling match and definitely my last. It was the group of us, Relena and Heero, Quatre and Catherine, Wufei and Sally, and me. We were sitting up in the bleachers and it was fun. I had a blast watching Duo kick ass during his match. Trowa was good too, I didn't mind seeing him in spandex, not in the least. The day was perfect.

When it was over Ridgemont walked away the winner. I was excited, not only had Duo and Trowa won, but the entire team won the meet; so now it was time to celebrate. It took us twenty minutes to find Trowa and Duo after the match. And I almost froze when I saw the pretty redhead that was practically hanging on Duo. I wasn't going to say anything. I was trying to keep my cool. Then I heard Relena ask Heero who this girl was. His answer floored me.

"Oh that's Beth, Duo's chick."

He said it so casually, like it was common knowledge, like everyone knew that she was Duo's girlfriend. Maybe everyone did know, everyone but me that is. I continued to stare at them blankly suddenly feeling sick. They look good together. She's tall and curvy and has a great face, everything I lack. The way Duo looks at her, he's never looked at me that way. She's pressed up against him, giving him a blinding smile. To look at them, how could you not mistake that they were together?

I wanted to cry. I wanted to storm over there and beat the living shit out of that girl for touching him. I wanted to give him a good kick in the balls just so he knows what it feels like to hurt. I wanted to ruin the happy little picture they made by telling her Duo has been fucking me for months. I wanted to scream about the injustice of fate and ask why all the people I've loved have never loved me back. I wanted to do a lot of things at that moment but instead I kept quiet and felt myself withdraw.

Finally Duo notices our group approaching and he tells the redhead something and she reluctantly lets go of his arm. Even as he walks toward us she watches him with this smirk on her face. I could slap her so hard right now. I drag in a deep breath feeling the burning pressure in the back of my throat. I refuse to cry. I will not show him what he's done to me. I force a weak smile hoping I can pull this off. I don't know why I'm worried, he doesn't even notice that I'm here.

Relena nudges me and I wince as I see the concern in her eyes. "Are you feeling alright De? You look really pale."

This is my out and I take it without thinking twice. "No I don't feel so good. I think I'm gonna go home okay."

"I guess. You sure you don't feel up to Rick's party. Everybody's invited, it'll be lots and lot's of fun." She tries persuasively.

"You have to come Hilde." Another familiar voice chimes in.

I turn to Trowa feeling trapped. I just need to get away. And that's when I realize that if I run now I'll only make it more obvious. I have to stick it out, I have to stay strong. I haven't broken yet so one more heartbreak won't kill me. Besides, I've never run before and I'm not going to do so now. I'm in control again and Duo can go to hell.

It seems like the rest of the night passed in a daze. I stuck to Trowa mostly. Between his sweet personality and the eight beers I downed, I managed to get my attention off of the pathetic mess my life had become. Duo came over to us twice and twice I excused myself. I know he got the message that I didn't want to talk to him. He probably wanted a ride home, maybe a quick fuck because his girlfriend didn't give him any. Or maybe he just wanted to find out why I was having a good time with Trowa. Either way I didn't give him the chance to say because I didn't want to hear it. By the end of the night Trowa had to drive me home. I was a little too drunk to do so myself.

I called in sick to work the next day. The fact that I could barely lift my head off the pillow and I was desperately trying to keep the contents of my stomach down was a good enough reason for me. I curse the alcohol now but I see why my Mom is the way she is. If I hadn't had that buzz I would have ended up crying my eyes out on Trowa's shoulder. With the help of the alcohol I managed to save face, well, sort of. I didn't make an ass out myself with Duo but I did start making moves on Trowa and that wasn't right. He's not my type. Now that I'm sober I feel bad about it. I mean why can't I fall for someone like Trowa? He'd never hurt me. He'd love me, I think.

I spent all of Sunday pondering that question among many others. Everything that crosses my mind all comes down to one thing. I'm just not lovable. I'm nothing more than a cheap slut who knows how to fuck. That's all I'm good for. Guys don't fall for girls like me. Hell, my own mother couldn't even love me, that's proof enough. I'm not a masochist. I'm not going to keep doing this to myself. I know when enough is enough. I can't get hurt like this again. I'm barely holding myself together. I feel like the slightest little push and I'll shatter.

So I chose to run.

I can't work with Duo anymore so I'm going to have to tell Tony I quit. I'll find another job somewhere else, it's no big deal. I know I can't handle seeing Duo now. Why make it harder when the simple solution is to avoid the problem. I've been doing a good job of it too. Duo called the house twice and both times I told my Dad to say I wasn't home. He left three messages on my voice mail, the last one asking that I please call him and that whatever happened he was sorry. I had to laugh. He really thinks I'm that stupid. He really thinks that I haven't caught on. He's acting like he doesn't have a clue as to why I won't talk to him. He has the nerve to sound down about it. Duo did this to himself. If he would have been honest with me I could've remained friends with him. But I can't trust him because I really don't know him after all. He never told me he had a girlfriend. If he had I would never have stared this.

I know what it's like to cheat around and I know what it's like to be cheated on. James was with Karen and I had no right to come between them. He pursued me and I thought what the hell, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Well it did hurt her because she found out. And it hurt me when I caught James with Libby. I know what Karen felt like and I know what Duo's girlfriend will feel like when she finds out. I can't do that to someone else. Duo and James are two of a kind. They're self-centered, worthless pricks.

So now its Friday night and I called in sick again. I didn't have the guts to tell Tony yet. I know I have to show up for work tomorrow and I'm lying here in bed staring at the ceiling wondering how I'm going to make it. I'm not getting an answer, the only thing that keeps coming to mind are Duo's purple eyes. I miss him so much. I want to hate him but I can't. I feel the tears come and I blink them away. I've locked myself up in this room doing nothing but sulking and crying. Lena's been hounding me about what's wrong but I still can't tell her. I feel so alone.

Suddenly in the still quiet I hear a tap at my second story window. I listen closely and sure enough I hear it again. Something is hitting my window. I go over to investigate, curiously raising the blinds and opening the window just as a small rock comes flying right past my head. What the hell?

"Shit! I'm sorry."

Duo's soft hushed voice gives him away and I glare down at him barely making out his form in the darkness. So much is going through my mind as he shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on the balls of his feet nervously. My heart jumps at the sight of him and I ruthlessly trample the feeling down. I look at my clock, it's 2:15 in the morning. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk." He says barely loud enough for me to hear him.

I can't do this. I shake my head, tears already blurring my eyes as my voice wavers, "No Duo."

He throws up his hands in frustration. "Goddamn it Hilde, either you come down or I'm coming up. It's your call." He hisses just short of yelling. If he wakes my Dad I'll kill him.

"Duo go home!"

The idiot ignores me and begins climbing the tree just outside my window. He's agile, I watch his body move with hardly any strain. I'm such a sucker. I don't have the heart to shut the window in his face plus I'm afraid that if I piss him off he will wake up my Dad on purpose. So I reluctantly let him enter my bedroom, my sanctuary. I hurriedly brush at the tears in my eyes trying to compose myself as much as possible.

"I'm going to ask you one more time. What do you want?" I demand, my voice filled with quiet fury.

He stiffens at my cold tone. I can tell that he's angry too, barely keeping a hold on his temper. After a moment he leans back against the wall and looks at me helplessly. "I…I just wanted to… to…" He looks away again raising his hands in defeat. "I needed to see you okay, I'm sorry."

I could say the same thing. It seems like I haven't been this close to him in forever. Even standing over a foot away I can smell his cologne. It brings up memories of sitting on the hood of my car out at Potters Point. My breath catches at the sharp little pain in my chest and I shove them away. I won't let myself think of that right now. I need to get him to leave. That's the only thing I should be thinking about.

"Look Duo. It's the middle of the night. My Dad has to work tomorrow and I don't think he'll appreciate it if I go wake him and tell him there is a guy in my room. So cut the crap and tell me why you're here and then get the fuck out!" I snap.

"Well if you would return phone calls I wouldn't be here." He glares at me and for just a second I think I see hurt flash in his eyes.

"Maybe I don't want to talk to you?" I say softly. "Maybe I don't want to see you either." This time there is no mistaking it, I hurt him with that. I really don't feel any better, instead I feel even worse.

"No shit! I kinda figured that. I just wanna know why?" He asks coldly.

"Because I found out about your girlfriend, that's why." I whisper. His eyes widen and he gives me this look, a mix between panic and confusion. He knows he's caught and I'm not going to make it easy on him. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to her? You're using her Duo. You're fucking with her emotions and I'm not gonna be a part of it. So go find someone else to kill time with."

I've said what I needed to say and now everything leaves me. I sit on the edge of my bed marveling at the empty feeling inside me. I really don't feel anything. I know I could, if I just allow myself to take in everything that's happening but I don't. I'll let the hurt hit me later, when he's gone. "Don't you have anything to say?"

He's still looking at me like I'm crazy.

"I think its time you leave-"

"Hilde, what makes you think I have a girlfriend?" He interrupts angrily as he starts pacing back and forth.

"I saw the two of you together and it's obvious." I fold my hands in my lap feeling my anger begin to creep back into the emptiness.

"You saw me? With who?" He asks heatedly, his voice rising. He rakes his hands through his hair in a show of frustration. "Hilde, I don't know what you saw but… I don't have a girlfriend."

My fury explodes inside me in this blinding red rage. "Don't lie to me Duo. I saw you with her after the match Saturday. Heero even confirmed it so don't stand here and deny it. My God, you really are a selfish asshole."

"Wait, you're talking about Beth? Shit." He curses, half-laughing. Before I can go off on him again he holds up a hand asking, "Did Heero actually say she was my girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I heard him tell Relena that she's your chick. I assumed that's what he meant by it." I manage to say through clenched teeth. I'm livid and ready to push him out my window.

"Well you assumed wrong. Beth is an annoying psycho bitch who won't take the hint that I'm not interested. The guys even joke about it because she practically stalks me. We have to allow her to come to the matches' cuz her brother is on the team. If you don't believe me you can ask Heero or Trowa or any of the guys for that matter." He crouches down in front of me looking me in the eye. "You know me, better than anybody. I'm not going out with her, I never have and I never will. So I don't know what you thought you saw but she's definitely not my girlfriend." He insists passionately. Unable to keep still he resumes his pacing.

I don't know what to say. I want to believe him and I think I do. I've never seen them together any other time. He's never once mentioned her, even in idle conversation. Besides, he doesn't look like he's lying. As a matter of fact he looks like hell. His hair is pulled back in a messy braid, probably a mess because he keeps running his hands through it. He looks tired, he has dark circles under his eyes and I think he needs to shave. He still looks sinfully handsome and I look away knowing that I have to ask him to leave.

"I believe you and I'm sorry. I just thought you lied to me. It wouldn't be the first time I've been a trusting idiot and I don't want to get put in that situation again." I explain. I fiddle nervously with the edge of my shirt. I can do this. I have to. "Look, you shouldn't be here. If we're going to try and be friends you know we need to end this."

Duo stops his pacing, his eyes jerking up to mine startled. I look down again afraid that if I look in his eyes I'll give into him. I know he's thinking why give up a good thing, a mutually satisfying relationship with no hassles. I expect him to question my decision. I just don't expect what he asks or how angry he sounds.

"Does this decision have anything to do with Trowa?"

This time it's my turn to look startled. Where in the world did that question come from? So I flat out ask, "What does he have to do with any of this?"

Duo shrugs trying to act nonchalant but I can see the effort it takes. "Why don't you tell me? You two seem awfully close lately."

"What does it matter to you?" I ask goading him. I want to know where this is going, that I'm not reading more in to his reaction. Duo can't be jealous.

He resumes his pacing looking even more agitated than before. I can visibly see the tension building up inside him. Finally he turns to me and his eyes are blazing with rage. "Stop fucking with me Hilde! Ever since you started this…this…" He motions his hands between us for lack of better terminology, "You've had me running in circles. And just when I think we're getting somewhere, you pull away. And now you have one of my best friends wrapped around your finger just like you have me and I'm not gonna let you do it. I think I have a right to know what's going on. If you want Trowa then tell me!"

"Trowa and I are friends. That's all it is." I whisper, completely shaken by everything he just said. Duo cares. It's not a declaration of love but its something. I just don't think I have enough of my heart left in tact to take the risk and find out its not. I did this with James and I will always have the scars. I can't do this again. "I'm calling us off because it's juts sex Duo. No matter how we look at it, it's just sex."

This time he looks away. His shoulders slump and he lowers his head. His voice is so soft I barely hear it. "Call me a fool but I was hoping it was more than that." He laughs bitterly. "Guess I was wrong." Suddenly he straightens and flashes me a quick forced smile. "So this is it then? Well, see ya around."

He's half way out of my window when I realize that I can't let him walk away. I'll never forgive myself if I don't take this chance. I grab his arm stopping him, praying I'm doing the right thing.

"Duo don't go." I plead tugging on his sleeve. He reluctantly lets me pull him back in the room. I don't give him the chance to question why. I have a question of my own. "I can't let you in until you tell me where we go from here. I need to hear it from you."

Looking into Duo's eyes I know I've just given him the choice to either save me or break me. The tears I've been fighting all night well up and spill over my cheeks. I'm not pulling away now, instead I'm holding on tighter than I've ever done before. I'm scared and now he knows it.

Duo's touch is ever so gentle as he wipes my tears away. His voice is oddly hoarse as he answers me quietly. "Ya know, I'm always thinking about you. It's so bad I can't sleep at night, I can't concentrate in class, I can't even study. It's like I'm addicted to you or something. When you're not around I'm always hoping to hear your voice. I can't wait till the next time I see you. I still haven't washed my blue shirt cuz it smells like you." He blushes slightly at that last admission pulling my body closer, "I bet you don't know that you're the only girl I've ever taken up to Potters Point. Or that I've never told anybody but you about my Dad and me. Or that you make me idiotically happy when you smile at me. And the crazy part is I don't know why you have this effect on me but I wouldn't change it cuz I like it and I need you."

For years I've wanted someone to tell me they love me. I thought if I could just be wanted then all my problems would go away. Duo hasn't said 'I love you' but he doesn't have to. This is so much better.

Through my tears I smile at him. "I know exactly what you're going through because I feel it too."

His hold on me tightens and I snuggle up against his chest sniffling loudly. It feels so good to have him hold me again. I don't how long we stay that way, just amazed that we have each other. I really thought that we couldn't have this. I thought it was a useless dream. I guess I was the one that was wrong.

It's almost 3:30 when he reluctantly starts to pull away. "I should be getting home." He sighs, his brow drawn in an unintentional frown.

I grin. "Uh-uh, you're not going anywhere." Slowly I start to tug him step by step away from the window. I don't stop till I bump into my bed. "You don't want to be alone any more than I do so I say you stay here with me where you belong."

He smiles leaning his head against mine. "What about your Dad?"

"He won't come in here without knocking first and even if he does what can he do?"

"Kill me." Duo laughs.

"Shut up." I whisper, pressing my lips to his in a soft kiss. I knew the minute I kissed him I'd be lost and I was. Fire roared in my blood, making my heart pound madly.

Duo pushes me back on the bed bracing himself over me. His lazy kisses move down my throat while his hands make short work of my button down top. I can tell he's keeping himself under control, forcing himself to take things slow. I'm not making it easy for him, running my hands up and down the bare flesh beneath his shirt. It isn't long before my PJ's and his clothes are on the floor. I try to keep my voice down as I gasp and moan at the way his mouth feels moving over my breasts. As his kisses move lower I can't help but claw at the sheets and bite my lip to keep quiet. I love what he does with his tongue. I try to push him on his back but he keeps me pinned to the bed. He's in total control of my body and he has me panting for more. Finally he gives in to what we both want and slams into to me, making me whimper loudly. I can't help it, we fit together so perfectly. He feels so good inside of me. We move in perfect rhythm. The feel of our damp skin rubbing together is heaven and hell. He pushes me harder and harder, until I fall over the edge of reality and into the abyss of pleasure that awaits me.

It takes us both a few minutes to catch our breath. Vaguely I feel him pull me into his arms but I'm too drained to move. All these sleepless nights and crying fits have finally caught up with me and I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I bury my face in his neck letting him pull my comforter over us. I wrap my arms around him reassuring myself that he's here holding me. I'll finally get to fall asleep next to him. It's something that I've wanted to do but never thought I'd have the chance. I don't think in the whole thirteen months James and I dated, I ever felt this happy or content.

I'm half-asleep but I still know what I'm doing and I can't help but say it. "I love you."

"I love you too." Duo says with his adorable lopsided grin. He presses a kiss to the top of my head and I fall into a blissful sleep breathing in the sent of his cologne…

"Rise and shine sleepy head."

That voice is way too cheerful this early in the morning. I blink my eyes open sleepily and give Duo my most evil glare. I think I ruined the effect thought because I can't help but smile. I love him. His hair is all mused, and he still has that sleepy look on his face but he's more awake than I am. I'm so happy I feel like laughing for no damn reason. Instead I settle for pulling him down and giving him a very sweet good morning kiss.

When he finally lets me breathe I croak, "Morning to you too."

Duo gives me another quick little peck on the lips before laying his head on my chest and closing his eyes. I run my fingers through his hair as his arms tighten around me. His breath tickles the bare skin of my breasts as he uses them in place of pillows. I'm glad to know they're good for something.

"You're comfortable. I could go back to sleep." He yawns.

"Me to-" My reply is cut off when there is a knock on my door. My heart jumps in my throat and for a split second I can vividly imagine my Dad taking one look at us like this and breaking Duo's neck. I'm sure Duo is thinking the same thing because he doesn't waste any time sliding off the bed and landing on the floor with a thud. If he stays down he won't be seen, well that is if they don't come too far into my room.

All of this happens in the span of a second. Then my door is thrown open and in walks Relena, just like she owns the place. Under normal circumstances my room is open territory for her but she doesn't know what's going on. I think it's time we filled her in. "Um… Lena…"

"De get your ass out of bed now. Its almost noon, I told Kerry that we'd be there for one and you promised you'd go this time so no backing out because I'm not taking no for an-" She stops mid sentence, her jaw literally dropping. The expression on her face is priceless.

I'm not modest but I know I'm blushing like crazy as I try to hide as much of my nakedness as possible behind the sheet I have clutched under my chin. When Duo pops his head up from the other side of the bed I turn beet red. He's trying not to laugh as he leans on the bed resting his chin on his folded arms. This really wasn't how I wanted her to find out. I know I'll never live this down. "I can explain."

"Oh really?" She still looks shocked but the wheels in her head starting to turn. "I knew something was up with you two. I just knew it. All right, I am walking out of this room and I'm giving you five minutes to get presentable and then I want to know exactly what's going on here. Understood?" She's using her authoritative lawyer tone. Right now is not a good time to mess with her.

"Yes M'am." Duo and I both say at the same time.

I start laughing as she rolls her eyes in disgust muttering something about us even thinking alike. I look over at Duo and he grins and I realize that maybe there is such a thing as justice in the universe. And for the first time since I can remember I wonder if things can get any better…

A.N.- Well Saba, you wanted a happy Hilde and you got a happy Hilde. I owe a very big thanks to Loyce, she's a dear and I don't know what I'd do with out her. To everyone who reviewed, luv you guys! And Cherry-chan, I'm trying to think up another DxH lemon just for you but I running low on ideas. Okay, *blowes big kiss to everyone* Thanks bunch!!! Luv ya!!!! *_*