Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ In The Mind Of A Princess ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Standard disclaimers apply

In The Mind Of a Princess

By sio-san

Part 2

***

"You know what? This sucks. There is absolutely nothing to do here. I just want to work and my brother has given directions to all the guard not to let me have access to my personal office or any other place of business. It's all really starting to piss me off. I hate being bored with nothing but my thoughts to occupy me. My first day of forced relaxation, and already I'm feeling more stressed than usual."

"I mean, look at me. I'm talking to a stinking piece of plastic again. Just out of the need to vent! How can they even call it relaxation, when I'm being forced to do it! It honestly can't be helping any. "

"I've just wasted six hours in my room trying to find something to do. None of my books interest me. My computer won't allow me into any of my business files, and I know exactly who to blame for that little problem, and I really have nothing else to do. All my life is focused around running this damn kingdom. I'd go swimming but other people are there and I don't want to be with other people at the moment. I feel to frustrated to deal with anyone."

"Honestly, I just want to be left alone to do what I do best, at the moment that would be being a god damn princess! Who really cares about me being underweight and overworked? The world doesn't and obviously I really don't care at the moment. I hate being inactive, I hate wasting time!"

Getting up from her desk chair Relena starting pacing around her floor.

"Ya know what? I think people are just too damn nosey for their own good. They should just mind their own business and leave other people alone. If I want to work myself into the ground then, dammit, I should be able to! What else would I do? I don't know how to do anything else! I've never really done anything else. I used to read and shop and go out with friends but I never have time for that any more. I probably don't even remember how. And god knows I really don't have any friends anymore. I don't have time for them. I try to keep up with their lives but I just really can't do that any more."

Brainstorming, Relena stopped pacing and then walked to her closet. Digging through, she found a pair of old jeans, and tank top, and a pair of sandals. Stripping she redressed and looked in the mirror.

"I'll just go out on the town. Maybe I'll find something to do. I'll just bring all cash and walk around." Decided on her plan, she threw on a pair of sunglasses and walked out with a purse full of cash

***

Heero growled at the security camera.

"Do you really think you can leave and some one won't know about it. All's you're doing is putting yourself in danger you stupid woman."

He knew he should send another guard to follow her, but for some reason he decided to do it himself. He would avoid all trouble if possible.

Once again, he pondered on how strange it was to listen to Relena talk to the tape recorder. It had become her stress reliever. She'd sit there at her desk and pour out her feeling and thoughts about the day until she had nothing else to say. He'd never noticed how troubled she was till this had started. He didn't like it.

He didn't like he cared either. Everyday of listening to her, it got harder and harder not to feel something. Harder not to care. Somehow, her words were breaking through the wall that had once been impenetrable. She shouldn't have been able to do that. nobody should have. He had gone through years of training and pain till he became like a lifeless doll do that he would no longer have to feel the pain and emotions that plagued other people. He had made himself invincible by doing that. Only now he was discovering he wasn't as tough as he thought.

Disgusted with his self all over again, Heero left to follow the wandering princess.

***

Relena inconspicuously walked along the streets, gazing at the world around her. It was a lot different than she had thought it would be. She had never really seen the kingdom like this. All her time was spent traveling and working, it had never really occurred to her that she ought to get the feel for her own kingdom.

The streets were busy and full of people. All different, one-way or another. Merchants were lined up on the streets selling their wares to anyone interested. It was like a completely different world here among the working class. Everything was cheerful, people trading greetings with perfect strangers or catching up on old times with old friends.

Walking by a jewelry stand, Relena stopped to examine what was being sold.

"Hello, there pretty thing, you must be new, I've never seen you here before," The large man working the stand greeted with a bountiful smile.

Relena couldn't resist grinning back. "Ah...yes. I'm new here. I'm just kind of getting the feel for things. Any place you'd recommend?"

"Oh of course. I know this place inside and out. If you're looking for a good time just head on down to Uncle Aber's Pug. Got lots of music and some of the greatest ale this side of Sanc. Shopping is best left for this street or West Street. Though mostly it's merchants or smaller stops. Still there's always treasure to be found in the strangest of places."

"Thank you, good sir. You've been a great deal of help," Relena said. She then picked up a delicate gold necklace with a rose charm. "How much would you want for this?"

"You know what missy? You're one of the politest little creatures I ever met. You keep that little thing all for yourself, it wouldn't do justice for any one else."

Relena was shocked. "You mean you don't want money for it?"

"Of course not deary! Consider it a gift, if you refer your friends to me I'll be ever grateful. Just tell them that Pa Chris has the best jewelry in town."

"I've never been given something like this before....thank you."

"A little thing like you needs gifts. You look like you haven't gotten much at all. Now you enjoy and if you ever need help you come and get me."

Relena slipped on the golden chain and exchanged good byes. She was amazed at the kindness the man had shown.

Walking on down, she headed toward the pub he had mentioned. She had never been to one before and wanted to see what one was like.

***

Heero walked along the streets far behind Relena, always watching. She had been lucky the merchant had been nice. Many would rob a person blind.

He was worried about her being down here. She may know all about politics, but she was far from street smart. She didn't know how people survived out here, and that was usually at the benefit of some one else's pain.

It was strange how different she looked in civilian clothing instead of her regular power suits. She looked...normal, like anybody else. The tight jeans hugged her womanly figure, curving around her soft bottom and moving with every other curve downward. The old jeans were well worn and fit like a dream. The blouse was also an old one. A little tight, but it worked. Adding the sunglasses, it was almost as though she were a completely different person just enjoying a regular day in the Sanc Kingdom.

The last time he had seen her looking as regular person was when he had woken up on a beach to see a worried face before him five years ago. In that time he had watched her grow and change and become the lady she was today. He had watched her grow to be over worked and hating herself. He had watched her grow to resent the things that used to be her, that represented what she had been. He felt ashamed, because somehow he was starting to feel responsible.

Heero growled at himself. This was disgusting. What had happened to the Perfect Soldier everyone thought him to be? In a matter of days, walls were beginning to crumble and he was beginning to feel vulnerable. It wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't allowed to happen. He wouldn't let it happen. Feelings were weak and led to vulnerability. They were the reason so many lives were lost in the war. People were far to sentimental and instead of doing what they had to do they stalled because of how they felt. A person's feelings could ruin even the best-laid plans. Heero Yuy had never allowed feelings to make him vulnerable before. He couldn't afford to now. He had to be strong. He had a job to do. No more, no less. He had to harden his thoughts against the princess.

He had to harden his heart.

***

Relena walked into the pub and immediately was swamped by the smell of hard liquor and smoke. It was a smell she wasn't used to and it made her want to gag. All around people were talking, dancing, drinking , and smoking. Some were here in couples and were practically making love on the dance floor. Others were single and drowning their woes in a shot glass. Some just sat at tables listening to the band, drinking their beers and smoking their lives away.

It gave the impression of a place where people either came to have a good time or forget about their bad times. A place where you could meet people, or hang out. A place where accidents happened and one night stands began.

Slowly Relena walked through the crowd, ignoring looks from other people and headed toward the bar. An old, heavy- set man was passing out drinks while smoking a nasty smelling cigar.

"What can I do for ya?" He asked, his voice raspy from the abuse it endured.

"Um...Can I just have a beer."

The man rolled his eyes and grabbed the bottle. Popping the cap he handed it to her. "2 bucks lady"

Relena handed him the cash and then gingerly began sipping at her drink, taking in more of the atmosphere. It was strange being in a place like this. She didn't have anything to compare it with. She had never been much of a wild child, so this was all new to her. In all honestly she really couldn't see what was so attractive about a place like this. It was dirty and smelled. Also, it didn't seem like the best of people hung around here.

Feeling a tap on her shoulder, Relena turned around to see an attractive young man sitting beside her with a greeting smile.

"Um...hello"

"Hiya honey! Can I buy ya a drink?"

"Um...I already have one, but thanks," Relena responded.

"Aw, come on honey, you call that a drink? Bartender, get the little lady here a Mudslide."

"Really, sir, I'm perfectly fine."

"Nonsense, and the name's Chuck. Come on, just let me buy ya one drink honey. It's no big deal, really."

Relena looked at the pleading look in the man's eyes and decided it really wouldn't hurt. "Okay, but just one drink."

***

Heero sat in the far corner of the pub, watching as Relena accepted a drink from some drunken idiot beside her. Didn't she know better than to let a strange man buy her a drink? He was tempted to get up and stop the whole thing, but then Relena would be exposed and they would have an even bigger mess on hand.

Relena smiled at the stranger and pushed away her original drink to sip the one he had ordered. Heero watched all this with a dark feeling in the pit of his stomach. He never trusted a drunk and the man she was with gave him all the more reason not to trust them. The man just didn't seem trustworthy, even from way at the back of the bar, Heero could see the mischievous glint in the man's eyes, just promising trouble.

The man was the typical type. The kind that hung around bars and pubs to get drunk and pick up any kind of woman they could find, whether they were willing or not. Half the times they looked for the ones who didn't belong in a place like this, who didn't know the first thing about handling themselves in a bar. Relena fit the stereotype perfectly.

No matter how hard she may have become, she still trusted much to easily some times. The alcohol wasn't helping any either. Knowing trouble was heading her way, he kept his eyes glued to them, not letting a single moment go unnoticed in the chance that something might happen.

He didn't even understand why she had come here. She didn't come to places like this. She didn't belong in places like this. She belonged in Ritzy places that served only the rich. A place where she could hang among the snobs of the world and listen to the same old sob stories over and over again. In a place like that at least she would be safe. Here, she had no idea what people were like, or what tricks could be pulled in the blink of an eye.

Looking closely, he could already see that she was becoming tipsy. Her movements were less steady and her smile was tinted with a drunken hue. He knew, that if he were even a little smart, he would have had her out of here by now. Instead he stayed in his dark corner, allowing the scene to play out before him, knowing that perhaps this would teach the princess a valuable lesson in trusting strangers and not following the rules.

***

Relena slipped slowly from the glass containing what the man had called a Mudslide. Perhaps, she should just get out of here. She was beginning to notice that her vision was getting a little foggy, and that she had a headache.

"Um, can you watch my drink Chuck. I've got to go to the bathroom," Relena said. She then slipped from her stool and balanced her self as the floor moved beneath her. She waited till it steadied, and then dizzily walked along to the lady's room.

She hadn't even noticed the smirk Chuck had sent her way as she worked her way to the door.

Inside the bathroom, she splashed her face with water and then let her eyes focus. After silently conversing with herself, she decided the smart thing to do, would be to finish her drink, thank Chuck and head back home. She didn't feel well and she wanted to go back to the warmth of her lonely bed where at least she knew she was safe.

***

Heero watched as she walked to the bathroom and cursed her a thousand ways. She had left her drink unattended with an untrustworthy character. Anyone, who knew places like these, knew never to take the chance that you could trust the other person unless you had known them for a lot longer than fifteen minutes.

He watched the man she had been conversing with and saw him look around. As though to look for anyone who might notice what he was about to do. And Heero was positive he was up to something. He could see it in the man's drunken eyes. He smelled the snake.
But, unlike the snake, he knew what would happen if the man tried anything.

Watching closely, he saw the man reach into his pocket and pull out a pill bottle.

"Damn it!" Heero whispered harshly to himself.

Carefully he lifted from his seat and headed toward the man, never taking his eyes off him. He watched as again the man gazed around the bar, but no one else was paying any attention to him, no one else cared. Or so the pitiful excuse for a human thought. Men who resorted to cheap tricks and hurting others disgusted him. They were the scum of the earth. The kind, that shouldn't be allowed to exist for their crimes against the human race.

Next, Heero watched the man slip a pill out of the bottle and then drop it into Relena's drink. The pill dissolved, not changing anything about the drink in a physical sense, but for those who hadn't seen what the man had did, it would seem a normal drink until they woke up after passing out and found themselves in an inescapable situation. One, in which they could be hurt, raped, or killed. It was a sad story but the truth.

It was time for him to make his move.

***

Relena exited the bathroom, her excuse for leaving prepared, but arrived only in time to see a familiar body guard punching Chuck off his stool.

"Heero! What in hell's name do you think you're doing?" She asked angrily as she stormed over.

Heero held the man down with a foot on his chest and then held up the pill bottle.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked.

Relena shook her head no, confused as to what was going on.

"This is a bottle full of what some would call a "knock out drug" often used in date rape and other crimes," he explained, his face cold and emotionless.

Relena's eyes went wide with shock, and hurt. "You mean he-"

"That's right princess, he was gonna drug you and have his way with you. Still wanna have a drink with him?

Relena numbly shook her head no.

Heero nodded in approval and then threw Relena onto his shoulder and carried her back to the palace as she kicked and screamed all the way.

***
As they arrived back at the palace, no one thought strange of Heero toting the princess on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. They all knew he had his reasons and they all knew better than to question them.

Relena on the other hand was beyond mortified and had worked up quite a temper by the time Heero had dropped her to her feet in her room.

Instantly her hand came up and prepared to strike him but Heero had seen it coming. He grabbed onto her wrist and threw it back to her side.

"Don't even try it Relena. I don't care how pissed you are. You pulled a stupid move going out there by yourself. If I hadn't been there you'd probably be wishing I had been right about now. That man had no idea who you were, to him you were just another victim.

Relena's eyes almost began to tear but she refused to show weakness. Instead she held her ground. "Then I thank you for your assistance, but I'm sure I would have been perfectly fine," she said primly.

Heero snarled. "So you're going to go Ice Princess on me. Do you have any idea what that man would have done to you. He probably would have seen an attractive woman to naïve to really protect herself, which makes you an easy target. He probably would have dragged your drugged body into a dark ally, raped you and then left you to die. Have you ever heard of what happens in rape? Have you ever talked to a rape victim, it's something that tarnishes some one and leaves them scarred for life and there are cases when the victims are held responsible. Do you know what it like to have some man's unwanted touch forced onto you?"

Relena just stared blankly at him and finally he grabbed her and pulled her harshly to him, claiming her lips in a bruising kiss, not stopping even when he tasted blood. He could hear her whimpering, knew it was a sign of pain, not pleasure, and he continued.

He pushed her against a wall and then roughly grabbed at her breast, fondling her so harshly that he knew there would be bruises. He rubbed his thigh against her groin feeling her heat against his leg. He continued to fondle her and force her to feel the pain until he felt her tears creep from her eyes.

Roughly, he dropped her to the ground in front of him, watched her pull her ripped blouse together and curl her knees into her chest.

"That's what a rape victim feels like Relena, helpless and at the mercy of the scum who's raping her. It's not a nice feeling is it?"

Relena violently shook her head no, tears still streaming down her face, never so scared in her life.

"Then never do that again. If you ever go into another establishment like that without a guard again, I won't rescue you next time. Maybe then you'll learn your lesson. You can't always trust people. Not everyone is all good and peaceful."

Relena whispered something harshly.

"What was that?"

"I said I already knew that you damn bastard."

"Oh really?"

"Leave me, just go away," she ordered, though it sounded more like pleading.

Heero left, never looking back

Relena was cursing him for the emotionless bastard he was.

Too bad she never knew just how much that had affected him. Too bad she didn't know that he had cared. And too bad he thought that he couldn't allow himself those luxuries.

***

Relena slowly crawled from her place on the floor of her room. Her weak tears had been spent and now she had to pull herself together.

Walking slowly, her mind sobered from the traumatic experience, she walked to her mirror and dropped her hands. Her blouse fell open and on her breasts, she could see the bruises Heero's lesson had left. Her lip was cut and blood was slowly streaming down her chin.

She felt violated. No man, no person, had ever touched that intimately before. It hurt so much because it had been Heero inflicting those bruises. It hurt so much because it was with cruelty that he had touched her skin.
It hurt so much because it made her hate herself even more. For being stupid and naïve, for showing weakness in front of Heero. For caring so much that she wished he had touched her with desire in his eyes, not the knowledge that he was teaching her a traumatizing lesson she would never ever forget.

In her eyes had been fear for all to see. In his, there had been nothing but cold and unrelenting darkness.

It made her wish he had had his gun. It made her wish that he would once again threaten her life. It made her wish that this time he would go through with it and end this tormenting hell that was her life.

Suddenly, she snapped, for a moment she just lost control. Tears fell from her eyes and she ripped the offending clothing from her body, as she tore at it till it was nothing but scraps of material, leaving her naked and bruised broken on the floor, crying like she hadn't it months. Crying out the torment.

***

Heero watched the gut wrenching seen before him one the camera. He heard her loud sobs. He felt her pain ripping him apart. He felt resentment toward himself that he had been the cause of that pain. He looked at her as she curled in a fetal position on the floor. Naked and bleeding from the damage her nails had done as she ripped away her clothing, as she ripped away the pain. Now all there was, was a broken spirit.

The even sadder part was, was that she would go on tomorrow, she would go on as the people's princess, looking out for everyone but herself. Caring about everyone but herself. He could already see that she had almost no respect left for herself any more. She had become a shell. A thing that did what everyone wanted of them with no regard for themselves.

That tight pain was back in his chest. In that area where they said the human heart lay. He had never really considered himself human, and for the longest time he had believed himself to have no heart. Why he felt the pain he did now, he had no idea. He had a feeling it had to do with what the Princess felt though. He had a feeling it was because in a sense he had failed her. In being the Perfect Soldier he wasn't allowed to care. And in being the Perfect Soldier he had mad her cry.

The only thing he knew for certain, was that if he had a heart, it was chipped. Relena's pain had taken a little bit of what was there.

The chip was missing for all the pain she had endured, was going through now, and would be forced to survive in the future.

It took all his strength to remember what he was, what he had been trained to be. It took all his strength to remember he didn't have a heart.

It took all his strength not to care.

***
T.B.C.