Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Integration ❯ Eyes Wide Open ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer and warnings on first page of this story.

Integration

By: Bane's Desire

Part 7 - Eyes Wide Open

Five minutes after Duane had given Duo a drink and helped him off the sofa so that he could use the restroom, the younger, limping man returned to the living room. After carefully settling himself back down on the couch once again, they resumed the long, extended session with the injured man again going easily into a hypnotic state of suggestion.

The memories seemed to come much more easily now and Duane listened intently to the few things that Duo mumbled as the past was set free and rushed back from the recesses of the former gundam pilot's mind. It was more than obvious that he and pilot Zero One, often referred to by Duo as Heero, had continued with their partnership after the first war concluded. They'd moved together into an apartment on L-1 and tired to fit into that colony's everyday existence by finding part-time jobs and enrolling in a local school with a plan to enter college within a year's time. Some of Duo's more personal experiences left Duane's face flushed with embarrassment as he overheard some of the more tender moments the younger man recounted between himself and Heero. He whispered in soft and warm tones many loving and suggestive words and sentiments that Duane was sure were only meant to be heard by Duo's lover.

Memories of the second war began with Duo mumbling something about Relena Peacecraft having been kidnaped. Duane, of course, had previously read in detail about the short-lived, Deikum Barton/Mariemaia Kushrenada attempted coup, and having watched several episodes on the History Channel about it, made it easy to follow along with Duo's laconic narrative, recounting events that had transpired during that time.

Once again, the second, brief war ended with Duo's lover's well-being brought into question. Even under hypnosis, the younger man's face reflected his horror at having watched his partner's gundam fall to Earth after being blasted by the fortress below him that had been the enemy's stronghold.

Duane gave a quick glance to the clock above his fireplace, sitting on the ornately-carved oak mantle. It was five minutes after five; time was running out.

"Duo," he interrupted the dreamer's thoughts. "I want you to recall the time just after Heero's hospital stay and what happened from then up until you submitted to the Integration procedure."

The younger man's face went from being slack to creased with a confused frown. "Tell me briefly what happened," Duane urged, curious to know what had gone on during the time he remembered very well, when a few of Earth's governments demanded that the gundam pilots be tried by a court of law and forced to pay for their war crimes.

"We couldn't hide after Barton's attempted coup," Duo began, his voice barely above a whisper. "Heero was injured and we had to stay with Relena in Sanq until he fully recovered and we could travel back to L-1."

"Where you lived before?"

Duo nodded, then continued. "Relena has always liked Heero." His frown deepened and his face took on an unhappy expression. "He trusts her enough for us to stay in her home. She's made it perfectly clear that she doesn't like me or my involvement with Heero. Despite knowing about our relationship, she makes subtle passes at him at least once a day, mostly to tick me off, I think. Heero and I have been arguing a lot about it lately. He insists he doesn't want her, doesn't love her, that he only feels that way about me." The younger man's face became a portrait of worry as he continued. "But I'm scared that I'm going to lose him. After all, what does an L-2 street brat have to offer compared to a princess?"

Duo's eyebrows furrowed deeper as he recalled more of that time. "We'd been watching the news and knew what was going on - the demands from a couple of influential countries that we be tried for war crimes. Relena came home one day and told us we were not to leave her home by orders of the court. The other pilots showed up one by one reporting to us that the government had put them under house arrest also. We aren't totally innocent," he scoffed, sounding bitter, "but it really sucks to have the people you helped save turn their backs on you. From the news reports it seems like the whole damn planet forgot we saved their fucking asses - twice." His indignant tone faded and he sighed wearily. "At least the colonies seem to be our allies, fighting for our freedom this time. Nice turn around, don't ya think?"

Continuing without a pause for an answer, Duo said, "We were surprised when Zechs joined the party. Seems his actions during the first war were also going to be addressed. We're pretty much lumped together as the bad guys even though we fought against each other during the first war and then as allies during the last one.

"Relena's taking center stage again," he snorted and shook his head as his mind kept moving forward. "I think that's a place she loves to be, in the middle of a whirlpool with all the spotlights focusing on her while she takes charge of everyone and everything." He then lowered his voice and added in a conspiring manner, "But don't tell Heero I said that. We don't see eye to eye about that girl or her motives." His voice and manner turned back to normal as he continued. "Anyway, she tells us she's trying to negotiate with the dissenting governments for our release and then between the colonies and Earth as things heat up about our futures." He paused a moment and his eyes moved rapidly back and forth under his eye lids as past memories flashed in his mind. "She's come to us again with some farfetched idea of being Integrated as a way to defuse the situation. We've all read about it being done in America, so we know what she's asking."

"What's your reaction to that?" Duane asked.

"I don't want to do it," Duo answered, suddenly sullen. "If my memories are taken away, who will remember all my dead? I fought for them and I want to live for them as well. How can I do that if they're buried deep within my mind?"

"And the others? How do they feel about it?"

Several moments passed before the answer came. "No one seems too excited about it, but..." he paused to take in more information. "The guys think that this could be the solution to a couple of our problems," he said, his face a picture of seriousness. "None of us sleep well. We all have our own nightmares to deal with, things that we wish we could forget. Wufei's the first to agree with the plan. He wants to be rid of the memories of his colony blowing up in front of him. He lost everyone in that moment, his family and clan, his teachers and his friends. Guess I can't blame him for wanting to forget that."

He paused for a moment, assimilating the memories rushing back. "Trowa and Quatre say they want to go along with it also. Trowa's past is almost as dark as my own, with no family and having been a child mercenary. Quatre is haunted by visions of his father's death. He's also riddled with guilt over having destroyed a colony while under the influence of Wing Zero. He almost killed Trowa during that time." He shook his head. "I guess nightmares aren't exclusive to the poor, that even the rich have them."

"And Heero?"

Duo's face turned sorrowful. "He says the only thing he wants to remember about his past is me, and if the doctors could give us new memories and lives that include each other, then he agrees with the others." Dejectedly he added, "I was out voted."

"Did they force you to agree to the procedure?"

"No," his answer was quiet and subdued. "But I don't want to spend my days in prison while Heero is turned into someone else and living without me. I figure I can tell my story about L-2 and the people who lived and died there to some reporter, then they won't be entirely forgotten. They've promised that Heero and I will be together, with memories of happy childhoods and attending college together and falling in love. I can see that Heero wants that kind of life, so I'll do this... for him."

Duo swallowed several times, his Adam's apple bobbing with each one while the eyes beneath the closed eyelids moved rapidly. "The shrinks who are going to take us through the Integration procedure have agreed that not only will Heero and I not be separated, but that Quatre and Trowa, who are also lovers, can be together as well and with us in school also, if that's what they want. We've also asked that Wufei be part of our circle of friends in our new life, which they've again agreed to. On a sheet of paper it looks well planned out and acceptable, and I think it's kinda cool that the colonies have sent a representative to act on our behalf. She got us a lawyer so our requests are put on paper along with our consent to the Integration procedure and our terms of agreement regarding it. The legal papers are to be recorded with the courts of Sanq."

"Duo," Duane interrupted the younger man. "Do your remember being Jason?"

"Yes."

"Separate from Duo?"

"Yes."

"Is Jason's life the one you agreed to?"

Duo's eyebrows creased together. "No."

"Are any of the other pilots in Jason's life?"

"No."

Duane felt anger and outrage surging within him that Duo had been lied to and obviously wrongfully treated. He couldn't help but ask himself why. He and the other pilots had agreed to the complaining governments' request, undergone the Integration process to keep the peace, only to be thoroughly screwed over.

Duo began speaking about the past again without prompting. "Heero and I are to be college students, lovers since our first meeting at a party. We're going to retain our intelligence and have memories of happier childhoods. Lady Une is to stand as my guardian as both of our parents will be remembered as being deceased, with Heero's folks dying in a plane crash and mine in a car wreck. Wufei is going to be set up as Heero's only relative, a second cousin. I'm to be Chad Westbrook, a kid from an upper class family with all the privileges that go with it, living with Lady Une who's to be my godmother and guardian. Heero is going to be Kai Ozuka, son of a successful business man, and Wufei, Ken Wong, the last of his family's line. Their guardians will be Lucretia Noin and Sally Poe."

"And the other three?"

"They're to have similar aliases, but they haven't told me the specifics." His face appeared perplexed. "Funny, Quatre is usually so open with me about things, but he hasn't gone into any details, only saying that he'll probably be living and working on L-4 after his time in college with us as his family is reluctant to let him go completely. They've insisted on being his guardians and that he retain his name. He says Trowa will also be watched over." A soft smile grew on his face. "Those two really belong together, ya know? They were kinda like Heero and me, love at first sight." His expression turned wistful for a scant moment before it changed once again, his memories coming fast.

"Because of Zechs's role in the first war, he's also being pressured to accept the Integration. But he's tight lipped as always with us. I don't know what his plan for the future is going to be, and frankly, after all the trouble he gave us during the war, I don't give a damn."

"What happened after all of you made the decision to be Integrated?" Duane asked, keeping his eye on the time.

"We've been given two weeks to get our affairs in order. I'm spending my time with Heero and typing my story on his laptop of being a street kid from the slums of L-2. I'm writing about the gangs, of Solo, hunger, the numbing cold, as well as the plague and the deaths it caused. I can't leave out my stay at the orphanage with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen, even if I have to write the bad parts. I feel the need to tell others about their goodness and kindness as well as my grief, hate and frustration at their senseless deaths at the hands of the Alliance and the L-2 rebels." He paused and chuckled. "I can't leave out telling them about Howard, that crazy son of a bitch who can fix up any machine in the universe. Damn I love that guy. He's been like a father to me at times." Duo's face then saddened. "I'm going to miss him." His whisper was filled with the sound of regret. "Like I miss Professor G and Deathscythe." He paused again, then added, "I'm telling everyone my reasons for fighting in the war and how I came to love a fellow soldier." He sighed wearily. "It's taken me four days, but I'm done with my history and I've mailed the whole thing, kit and caboodle, to Howard with his promise that after a couple of years, he'll get it published so that no one will ever forget the victims of the war, my dead. I called him to tell him what I was sending him and what was going to be happening. It hurts to know that I have to say goodbye to him. Howard tells me he'll be all right and that he'll always miss me, that I'll always be his little schmuck." A faint smile comes to the battered face, belying the slight quiver of his chin, showing just how much that memory hurt. "It's good to get that behind me," he takes in a shuddering breath. "I hate saying goodbye. I need to get some other things done before the Integration begins, just in case. I'll stash some money and fake IDs in a safe-deposit box. That's the street brat in me, always stashing something in a hole as back up. Once that's done, I'll spend all my remaining time with Heero."

Several minutes pass before a slow, sensuous smile graced the young man's face, and Duane was almost afraid to hear what Duo was going to say as he continued. "Heero and I spent the rest of our time together in bed." He said dreamily, then the frown returned. "I'm not a trusting person, and it scares me shitless that with the removal of our memories we won't have the common connection the war, horrible as it was, gave to us. Our love making during these last days feels desperate, and I think he's afraid too. But far be it for Heero to ever voice any fears." He snorted with humor after saying that, and there was a great deal of affection in his voice as he said in a passion-filled voice, "By the colonies, I love him."

Duane sat forward in his chair, mindful of the diminishing time. It was five thirty. "What happened Duo? What happened to Chad and how did you become Jason?"

An anxious look swept across the battered face in response to the question. "I don't know," he answered, suddenly becoming visibly upset.

"All right," Duane began again. He figured he'd jumped too far ahead and decided he needed to ask a more simpler question. "Go back to the Integration procedure. Do you remember it?"

"I think so." The look of worry was still on his face.

Duane wondered at the vague answer as Duo had been so forthright before. Maybe he was becoming too taxed and it was time to end the session despite Duo's initial decision to retrieve all his memories in one day. "Do you remember discussing with the doctors about any type of mental block or trigger that might be set in order to keep you from remembering or harming your self or others?" It was a shot in the dark, but he thought it might be best to inquire before delving further.

"The governments that wanted to bring us down thought the six of us were too violent to just be let loose on society. So mental blocks are going to be placed along with subliminal triggers set to stop us from hurting anyone. They chose physical pain for me as a reaction to violent thoughts as a way to control them. I've never dealt very well with pain," Duo confessed quietly with a dismissive shrug of his shoulder.

"At the end of the procedure did you become Chad Westbrook?"

Duo nodded, his face relaxing as his mind shot forward to those memories.

"I want you to remember Chad, remember being him. Forget for the moment of being Duo or Jason. Tell me about Chad Westbrook," Duane said, hoping that suggestion would help release the suppressed memories.

After a short pause, Duo began to speak again, his voice strangely perky. "Chad goes to the University of Sanq where he's majoring in Journalism. He lives off campus with his godmother/guardian, Lady Une and is known on campus as having an impressive, expensive wardrobe and a charm and wit that seems to attract people of both sexes. Frankly, he thinks they him for his money, so he's a bit wary of them."

Duane found it fascinating that Duo now referred to his other selves as separate entities. They had all been him, but now, having regained his memories as Duo, he'd separated himself from the two former personalities, even under hypnosis. Duane wondered if he'd more or less been an mental bystander, though not an actual participant in their lives, watching their lives subconsciously. But that thought didn't sit right with the hypnotist. Duo Maxwell seemed to be a person with a strong sense of self. He couldn't see him putting up with Scott Mercer's abuse if there was a tiny shred of the former gundam pilot in him. "What happened between Chad and Kai Ozuka?"

Duo's hands curled into fists, his face looked angry. "Chad met Kai on campus. He had this girl..." he paused as if recalling something, then his breath caught as if he just realized something. "It was Relena and she was all over him. Chad was immediately attracted to Kai, but it was obvious he was straight. The funny thing is," he looked momentarily puzzled, even with his eyes closed, "that Chad saw Kai checking him out. For a straight guy, he sure looked interested."

"Were you happy as Chad?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Chad was easy going and liked to have fun. He had a lot of friends."

"So what happened to Chad that his Integration was breached?"

Duo's whole face formed a frown again as he concentrated, then said, "Chad went to a party. Some frat thing where there was a lot of alcohol and drugs. He doesn't usually indulge in either as he's reacted badly to both and even wears a medical ID wrist band stating that fact. The lights in the house were dim and the music was loud, and this guy he'd met in passing, a member of the fraternity throwing the party, brought him a drink and started a conversation. You know, just friendly talk. He realized later that there was something in the drink. Don't know what it was, but it was strong, some kind of mind-altering drug. Chad went on some wild trip with strange, dark dreams filled and the faces of people he didn't know, both dead and alive. They called out for him... wanting him to do something." Duo's words were now coming out faint and choked, his face screwed up with tension and sweat began to glisten on his forehead and upper lip. Duane studied the hypnotized man's face, thinking that Chad's hallucinogenic visions must have been very dark in order to cause the reaction he was observing. He moved closer to the couch and sat on the floor next Duo to hear the almost whispered dialogue as he continued. "When Chad woke up two days later, he was dazed and confused, lying naked in some stranger's bed with a sore ass and three used condoms knotted and tossed onto the floor. It appeared that someone had been fun at his expense while he'd been out of it. He quickly discovered he was in the attic room of the frat house where the party had been held. Being too embarrassed by the situation to say anything to anyone, he decided not to go to the authorities, but vowed to himself to find the jack ass that drugged him and beat the shit out of him. He dressed in his clothes that he found in a pile on the floor next to the bed and slunk home to deal with his angry and worried guardian. Later that week, he went to the university's health office to be tested for STDs. Luck was with him; nothing showed up on the test results. What did show up as a result of that horrible drug-induced night were troubling and recurring nightmares that haunted him. Chad thought the drug must have somehow damaged his mind as he recalled poverty, starving in the street of some unknown place, and then of being the pilot of a gundam in the wars.

"It was about a week later when he saw Kai in class, and it was as if a light had suddenly been turned on in his mind. He instantly knew without a doubt that Kai was Heero Yuy, and that he'd been a pilot in the war and his lover. With that memory came the realization of being Duo and the wrongs that had been done to the both of them. We were more than a little pissed."

"So what did Chad do then?"

"We waited. Things were still sketchy as the memories came trickling back. We were confused about what was going on and wanted to allow more of the strange, past memories of Duo to come to the surface. With each passing day, Chad's reality blurred as locked-away memories of being Duo re-surfaced more and more. And with the memories of their true past came the longing for Heero. Seeing him on campus with Relena made us want to do something drastic. But we held back until the right opportunity presented itself."

Duane's eyebrow rose. Interesting. Now it was 'we' Duo was referring to when Chad and himself became aware of each other and began to act as one.

"The memory of just before the Integration came back to us along with the name of the lawyer who'd prepared the consent papers. Using a false name and pretense for going, we made an appointment with him. He didn't recognize us at first, they'd cut our hair, and we engaged him as our lawyer to make sure the confidentiality clause was in force before we spoke to him of our dilemma.

"He was shocked at first, learning who we were, that Duo's memories were returning. But when I told him of the breach of promise, he pulled our files out and confirmed that someone had made a grievous error. He had a list of the doctors that had worked on the six of us during the four months it took to Integrate us back into society. Looking them over, I recognized the name of the shrink who worked with me and Heero and made a mental note of it. Mr. Harridan, our lawyer, said he would look into the matter and determine what legal recourse was open to us. He promised to contact us if we left him a number where we could be reached."

"What happened then?"

"We gave him Chad's cell phone number and left. We then went to the nearest phone booth and looked up the shrinks name, the one that had worked on us during our Integration. Finding his address in yellow pages, we paid a surprise visit to the good shrink just after regular work hours, of course." A smile filled with wry amusement grew on Duo's face. "Scared the shit out of the old geezer. With a small tape recorder in our pocket, the about-to-piss-his-pants bastard confessed, well, after a little strong arming, that Relena had paid him a slight fortune to adjust the future that had been promised to Heero and us. Heero's new persona, Kai, was told he was straight with a strong attraction to Relena. She didn't have anything done to Chad's future, other than to remove Heero, or Kai, from his life and memory."

From the lines on his young, battered face, Duane could almost see a building anger roiling beneath the young man's skin. "After the old man's confession, we showed the good doctor that we'd taped his comments and promised to sue him for malpractice, breech of contract and malicious mischief if he didn't help us in giving Heero back his memories."

"He agreed, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Duo chuckled quietly. "He caved in pretty damn quickly in lieu of losing his livelihood and reputation if we filed those charges against him. He said he'd help but that we had to bring Heero to him the following night, after his office staff had gone home. That posed a bit of a problem," Duo continued, his voice coming out slower as if he were getting weary. "Kai and Chad had only exchanged greetings in passing and stares of mutual admiration. They hadn't had a true conversation. We decided there were two choices available to us in getting him to that office. We had to either surprise him and knock him out after his last class, or trick him into going to the office. We used what we'd observed of Heero against him, his attraction to us. If Relena had tried to dupe him through Integration, implanting the idea that he wasn't gay, it didn't seem to take completely because Kai was obviously attracted to us.

"We watched him leave his last class for the day, followed him to his car and causally called out to him, taking time to talk and flirt with him. He finally asked if we needed a ride somewhere. We took him out to dinner in order to get to know him and pass the time until the shrink's office closed. It was six thirty and dark when we drove up to the doctor's office and we asked him to come in with us and he agreed. Once inside the building, he became pensive and suspicious, especially when we entered the empty psychiatrist's office. Before he knew what was happening, the wacked doctor put him under with just a few brief words. It seems once you've been under hypnosis, especially as often as we had during the Integration process, you're more susceptible to going under quickly. The doctor managed to return some of Heero's previous memories to him in less than two hours, and then the crooked geezer was more than happy to see us out his door.

"We spent the evening in his car, holding each other tightly while we discussed the steps we could take to rectify the situation. We went back to Une's place, remembering Chad had a check -in hour, especially after he'd gone missing for two days a couple of weeks before. If he didn't show up on time, the cops would be called. We decided to follow through on the lawyer, seeing that we'd been purposely separated and that the contract we'd signed had the law on our side. We could only hope the courts would do something to rectify it. We weren't against the procedure of Integration as much as we were upset that Relena and the doctor had screwed with our future together."

At that point in the story, Duo paused and his face went slack with an expression of sadness as he continued. "Une met us at the door and confronted me about Kai's presence. She looked at our faces and knew that some, if not all, of our past selves had returned. We told her what happened, mostly because of the good relationship she had with us as Chad. We trusted her to help us make things right again and asked her to please wait until we heard from the lawyer before she notified anyone that we'd regained part of our memories. She agreed," he said, and then the tone of his voice turned angry. "And lied through her damn teeth. Before an hour had passed a SWAT team surrounded the house and we were forced to give up. We were separated at once and the Integration process began almost immediately. But this time we weren't so cooperative. We fought them physically and mentally." Duo's face darkened as he came to a new realization. "That's when we became Jason Phillips and he was sent the to the States to live, as far away from Heero as possible."

"And Scott? How did he come into the picture?"

There was a moment's pause and Duo's expression looked perplexed, and his mind seemed to be changing gears before he answered, "I'm not sure. I... I know now he was sent by Preventers to keep an eye on me."

The alarm on his watch had gone off during the last of Duo's story, it was time to end this session. He spent the next few minutes reinforcing Duo's beliefs of who he was, that he absolutely had no heart condition and that he was strong, healthy and could fight to defend himself or others without any pain from his chest or heart. He also told him that he had very few inhibitions, unlike Jason, that he was a forceful personality and a person who did things well and finished the job. With those thoughts implanted deeply into Duo's mind, Duane could only hope that they would override the suggestions planted years ago of a debilitating heart condition and the personality of a timid, fearful individual.

He took Duo into a relaxed state with a few words, told him he would remember everything he'd recalled while under hypnosis then brought him back to consciousness. He mentally crossed his fingers that he didn't mess the younger man up any more than he already was.

When Duo opened his eyes, there was a look in them so foreign to Jason that Duane knew without a doubt he was once again looking at a fully-returned Duo Maxwell, gundam pilot.

"They did it again," Duo hissed angrily, a spark of something in his damaged eyes that Duane hadn't seen before, a promise of retribution. "But this time, they've gone too far."

"What are you going to do?" the hypnotist asked, eying the other man as he struggled to sit up, wincing with pain. Without thought, he reached out to take Duo's good arm to assist him but Duo immediately pulled back, his eyes shooting a warning. A shiver went down the hypnotist's spine as those eyes bore into him. There was danger in that warning glance. His discomfort must have shown on his face because Duo paused, took in a deep breath and lowered his eyes. "Sorry," he said in a softer tone of voice. "My past and training are kicking in. I don't let many people touch me."

Duane nodded. The difference between Jason and Duo with his complete memories was immediately discernable. They were almost like day and night. Watching the injured young man coming slowly and somewhat painfully to stand on unsteady legs, Duane resisted the urge to steady him as the other's body swayed slightly. "I've grown weak," Duo muttered as he assessed his condition. "I'll need to build up my muscle tone again as well as refresh my skills."

"Duo?"

Blue-violet eyes, now seeming older and somehow jaded, rose to meet the other man's questioning gaze. Duane cleared his throat nervously under the other's penetrating gaze and asked, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find the others and make sure they haven't been screwed over like I was. Then I'll take my revenge on those who thought they could fuck with the life of Duo Maxwell."

A foreboding chill made Duane put his arms around himself even as he saw strength, power and determination radiate from the battered person in front of him. Jason Phillips, the frightened, timid and frail young man was completely gone, replaced by a true warrior. He felt sweat and goose bumps both breaking out on his skin as the reality of the situation struck him, that he was responsible for the re-emergence of one of the deadliest people from the past wars, and Duo Maxwell was back with a vengeance. "Oh God!" He moaned an sent up a silent prayer for divine intervention and forgiveness. He abruptly moved away from his position next to the sofa and flopped down into the adjacent chair, burying his face in his hands. Knowing what he did now, he realized that he was in more trouble than he'd ever imagined he could be.

"Duane?" Duo's voice was soft with concern as he spoke, reminding Duane of Jason. "Are you all right?"

The nearly thirty year old man shook his head, indicating that no, he was anything but alright, and he had an idea his life would never be the same again. He momentarily wondered at the instant change in the other man. He'd gone from being determined and angry to suddenly concerned and caring. He guessed that maybe Duo Maxwell had some multiple personality shifting going on along with the memories of the three people he'd been in the last couple of years. What a mess it must be in that young man's mind, he thought. But then again, what the hell did he know? He was a hypnotist, not a psychiatrist.

Duo's voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Listen, man, I'm really grateful for what you've done for me and realize that you've put yourself at risk.," Duo said, his voice close by. "But believe me when I tell ya, that I'm a good friend to have. I won't let anything happen to you because of this."

Duane looked up to the transformed young man. "Your revenge will no doubt be traced back to me," he said, filled with trepidation. "And I'll pay for what I've done and for whatever it is you're going to do."

The room fell silent as Duo appeared to process that thought for a moment. He then turned to look at the clock on the mantle. "We don't have time for this right now. I have to get back to the apartment. Can we talk about this on the way?"

Duane stood, looking confused. "You're actually going back there now that you've got your memories?" he asked, perplexed by the decision. "Why?"

"I still have some questions that need answering. I want to know who the hell Scott Mercer really is and to get my money back. He's taken my paycheck for several years and I'm going to need whatever he's stashed away in order to get out of here."

"But you're no longer Jason," Duane protested. "He'll see that you're not, just as I can. He'll know, and then what will happen?"

Duo shook his head. "I've worn many masks in my lifetime, presented the persona that needed to get the job done. I can be Jason again in order to get what I need. Fortunately, Scott always backs off after a violent attack to let Jason heal, so in a way the timing is fortuitous." Duo shrugged, winced at the unthinking movement, then smiled without amusement. "But if he touches me in any way, I'll kill him."

By the tone of his voice Duane had no doubt that Duo would do as he said. He went to the coat rack and retrieved their coats. He placed Duo's across the back of his shoulders, then put on his own, finding his car keys in the pocket. "Let's go," he said, and led Duo from his apartment and to his car.

The ride to Jason and Scott's shared apartment didn't take as long as they'd anticipated. Evidently, like Duane, many of the city's employed citizens had left their offices for home earlier than usual to begin their holiday weekend.

While in transit, Duane listened to his companion state his plans for the days ahead. Duo would resume the role of Jason and attempt to find out who Scott Mercer was and to gain access to any available funds. He would then begin preparations for leaving the abusive man and hiding from the authorities. As a back-up plan, Duo memorized Duane's phone number in case he got into trouble and had to run before he was prepared. The black-haired man urged him to come to him if Scott became violent once again.

As the car pulled up to the curb of the apartment building Duo designated as his, Duane turned to him. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?" he asked with honest concern.

Despite his newly-returned memories, coupled with his inner strength and determination, there was an air of hesitation surrounding the smaller man. "Just thinking about Scott and all the pain he's put me through makes me so angry I could pummel in his face. But I have to do this the smart way and make a clean break from here so I don't have someone dogging my heels." Duo's voice had a distant quality to it as it faded, and Duane saw a shudder shake the smaller-framed body, letting him know going back into his apartment as Jason was not something Duo wanted to do.

"You don't have to do this, you know," he told the younger man. "I can take you back to my apartment and bankroll you until you get on your feet again. You can go anywhere you want to."

Blue eyes tinged with a hint of violet filled with gratitude as they turned to him. "Thanks, Duane. You can't know how much your offer to help means to me. I might even take you up on it if I get into a real bind." His face then tightened as his resolve returned. "But I have to do this. The time to run and hide hasn't come yet. I need to face this demon down and exact justice. I only have to stay long enough to confirm my suspicions. If I can find proof, I'll give it to the news agencies and crucify little Miss Pacifist's ass publicly. She's going to learn that payback is definitely a bitch."

"Relena Peacecraft?" Duane asked. And then a piece of information came back to him regarding Ms. Peacecraft and the name of Kai Ozuka's. He swallowed nervously as Duo answered his question.

The former gundam pilot nodded. "I had the first shrink's confession before they re-Integrated me again, without my consent, and put me into my own personal hell with that piece of shitwork upstairs. I'll bet she's behind this just as much as she was behind the Chad/Kai fiasco."

"You won't physically harm her, will you?" the hypnotist asked, looking worried.

"No," he was quick to reply. "Listen, I might have been a gundam pilot, but I made every effort not to kill if I didn't have to. Those who did feel the wrath of my gundam were usually trying to take me down."

Duane looked at the car clock, it was six thirty-five. "You better go." He pointed to the dashboard clock. "Call me if you need any help, or a place to go."

Duo gave him a tired, grateful smile. "Thanks, Duane. I promise not to mess your life up too much." And then he added with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, "If I can help it."

"Merry Christmas," the older man called out as Duo carefully eased himself off of his seat and out of the car, his movements awkward because of his use of only one arm and his stiff and aching ribs and legs.

Duo turned and stiffly bent from his waist until their eyes met to return the wish. "You too, man." He then gave Duane a forced smile and closed the car door and turned to enter the apartment building.

Concern and worry for the injured young man was forefront in Duane's mind as he watched the slight figure slowly hobble away and disappear into the building. He sat there letting his car run idle for a few moments while the temperature outside continued to dip towards further below freezing on this day before Christmas Eve in order to come to terms once more with the fact that he'd inadvertently discovered one of the gundam pilots. He still couldn't believe that he'd willingly helped free him from the Integration and blocks in his mind, both of which had made the once fierce and proud gundam pilot into a helpless victim. He tried to justify his actions with Duo's plight, finding that he didn't feel as guilty as he probably should about freeing Duo Maxwell from Jason Phillip's horrific life. With the information he and Duo had uncovered during the long afternoon session, he felt his own anger growing withing him at the injustice perpetrated on the young man at the whim of a girl who had a crush on his lover. No, he wouldn't waste one minute of his time regretting his decision, even if he were discovered and punished for breaking the law. He snorted and shook his head, thinking that he never did do things halfway. He felt the risks he'd taken would be worth it. He believed that the many wrongs done to Jason and now Duo were soon going to be addressed in one way or another, and that was enough of a reward to him for having taken the dangerous path he'd trod in awakening the gundam pilot. He dreaded the moment that Duo learned what had happened to Kai/Heero. He didn't want to be anywhere in the other's vicinity when he found out that information and a truck load of manure would hit the proverbial fan.

Putting his car into drive, he let off the parking brake, then pulled away from the curbside, heading for his home to prepare for an evening spent with his family as they celebrated the beginning of the Christmas holiday together. He wished there was something he could do to make Duo's Christmas better than what he was probably going to endure in that apartment with his abuser over the weekend. But he knew all his wishing wouldn't change anything. He'd done what he could for the time being, and now it was up to Duo to get himself out of the fix he'd awakened into. Turning on the radio to listen to some Christmas music, he worked very hard to put the injured young man and his past out of his mind, at least for the rest of the evening.

More to come

A.N. Hope the I, you, he, we and us terms didn't make you too confused. This was a tricky chapter to write.