Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Integration ❯ Meeting Triton Bloom ( Chapter 16 )

Integration

Part 16- Meeting Triton Bloom

They arrived on Colony L-1 around noon the following day, having flown the shuttle themselves and leaving Quatre's unhappy bodyguards behind. Leaving the Winner private shuttle docked safely at one of the more exclusive ports, the two young men ventured out of the terminal and into the colony's central city. They were both dressed casually in jeans with Duo wearing a tee-shirt and Quatre a white oxford shirt, the sleeves rolled up. The popular heir wore one of Duo's caps on his head to keep from being too easily recognized.

L-1 was one of the older colonies, but it was easy to see from the clean streets and outward appearances that unlike L-2, its sister colony, it had been properly maintained and kept from going in decline. The central city was composed of tall gleaming skyscrapers. Its busy sidewalks were teeming with people scurrying along from one destination to another while cars, trucks, mopeds and bicycles filled the downtown streets where the colony's main businesses and government offices were situated.

Quatre explained to his companion, even though he'd been to L-1 before, that the colony was first inhabited by citizens who'd emigrated from Japan, eager to escape the crowding and for new job opportunities. The culture that had existed in Tokyo at the time of the emigration to space had been slowly diluted by generations of colonists, just as L-4's had been from the middle-eastern influence that first prevailed at its inception. The first citizens of L-1 were pre-selected, industrious people who established a government based on democratic standards and set up the official offices in the colony's center city. The early colonists dubbed their capital as New Tokyo, in remembrance of the home they'd left behind for the adventure of a life time.

The two men caught a taxi just outside the shuttle's terminal and, with information Quatre had gathered from the Internet before leaving L-4, they were driven to the city's outskirts to where Trowa's circus was set up.

"So you've seen and talked to him?" Duo asked, turning in his seat in the back of the taxi to look at his companion.

Quatre nodded. "I visited the circus several times during the first year after I returned to the colonies. I just needed to see for myself that Trowa was happy. I

was recognized almost immediately when I went back stage to give my compliments to the troop of performers." The blond then chuckled. "You should have seen Catherine's face when her eyes lit on me. I'm sure if she'd had her knives handy I would have had one planted between my eyes. She's still fiercely protective of her 'brother'. I simply introduced myself to Trowa as if we were strangers and told him I appreciated the show. We developed a tentative friendship, but that's all. I haven't been to see him in the last six months."

Duo reached over and took the blond man's hands in his own. "I'm sorry, Quat. It has to be hard to see him happy without you."

The blond gave him a weak smile. "At least he's safe and happy with his new life. I have to content myself with that."

Silence filled the cab as the driver continued to maneuver the car through the busy city traffic until they reached the outskirts of the metropolitan area where the bright red and white striped tents of the circus came more clearly into view on the up-curve arch of the colony.

When the taxi slowed to a stop, just outside the main entrance, both young men leaned down to take a good look out of the window at the massive tent that would later hold hundreds of spectators as well as circus performers and animals. Quatre opened the door and got out with Duo following quickly behind. He paid the driver through his window, then motioned for his companion to follow.

"Let's see what time the show begins today," the blond said, nodding toward the arch of balloons that served as a gateway to the circus. The two walked together towards the red and white polka dotted ticket booth, just far enough apart to not draw attention to their true relationship with each other, just in case someone spotted Quatre and took a picture.

The neatly dressed, slightly pudgy woman with fading red, curly hair glanced up from her paperback romance novel with a bored expression on her face. It remained that way for only the moment it took for her to recognize the blond man smiling at her in a charming manner.

"Mr. Winner!" She exclaimed happily. "We haven't seen you for a while. We thought that you'd out-grown us."

"Not at all," Quatre assured her easily, his smile warm and his manner friendly. "I've just been very busy with work. But I thought I'd take a break as I have a guest visiting me and I thought he'd like to see the circus."

The woman's eyes moved to where Duo stood, and after giving him the once over, she offered him a toothy, way-too-big grin. "A friend of Mr. Quatre Winner is always a friend to the Romlin Family Circus," the woman boldly declared with a showbiz flourish, grinning like a loon at both amused men.

"We'd like two front and center seats if they're available, please," Quatre asked, unable to suppress a chuckle at the woman's antics while taking out his wallet and his debit card.

The woman turned to her computer and typed in a few commands, then studied the screen. "It looks like we have such a seating available for the three o'clock performance. Is that alright?"

Quatre put his card on the wooden counter. "We'll take it," he stated, and after the transaction was completed, the blond tucked the two tickets and his card back into his wallet, then turned back to his friend. "Want some lunch?" he asked, looking at his watch. "We have a little more than an hour and a half until show time."

"Can we take a look around the circus?" Duo asked, his eyes taking in as much as they could.

"I'm afraid that's not possible," the older woman said. "The animals and performers are preparing for the first show."

Quatre gave the woman an understanding smile. "That's alright. We'll be back for the show."

Taking Duo's elbow, he led him back to the street where the taxi had dropped them off. "They're not as open and trusting as they used to be during the war," the blond explained, nodding at the fence surrounding the circus. "After the Integration, when Cathy was given the responsibility of Trowa who, by the way, is now called Triton Bloom, her brother, she was cautioned about protecting him from strangers who might recognize him from the war. That's kind of hard to do in a traveling circus environment. After speaking to the circus manager and owner, the workers drew in their protective ranks and decided to close off the circus grounds until just before the performance. Circus workers are well-known for being fiercely protective of each other," he added. "Trowa had been kept safe and well by all of them."

Duo nodded, indicating that he was listening to Quatre speak about his former lover's life, but his mind had suddenly shifted to another train of thought. He concentrated for a moment, trying to figure out the stab of jealousy that shot through him while hearing of Trowa's current situation. His former friend, in his Integrated state, was being well taken care of and protected as part of a group that was very much like a family. It wasn't as if he'd ever wish for any harm to befall Trowa or the others, but he couldn't help feeling somewhat resentful at the situation he'd found himself in as a result of his second Integration. How was it that he seemed to be the only one who landed in an adverse situation? He knew the answer to that question even before the question came to him; it was simply because he'd loved the person Relena Peacecraft had wanted for herself.

His longing for Heero came back suddenly, hitting him hard, and as always, it was accompanied by his feelings of anger directed toward Relena, Une and the injustice of the whole episode that had just about destroyed him. It wasn't a hunger for food that coiled angrily in his belly at the moment, but a thirst for revenge. Even as his steps became stiff and his blood seemed to boil in his veins, his mind told him that such feelings were out of place, considering where he was at the moment and that Quatre was chatting happily alongside him as he was pulled down the street by the arm the blond had flung casually over his shoulders. With some effort and a fixed determination, he set aside his growing anger and depressed mood, putting them to the back of his mind to deal with later, after he'd seen Trowa. He managed to get his head together just in time as Quatre spied an eatery up ahead that was boldly named in blue print The Sushi Hut.

Oooooooo

At two-forty five they found themselves being directed by a circus employee, dressed as a clown, to seats situated in the front and center of the middle performance ring under the canvas of the large, striped tent. Quatre bought himself a large box of popcorn, a drink and cotton candy for Duo. They munched on their treats while the tent quickly filled with an eager audience, already half filled with noisy children. They contented themselves with people watching and Quatre commented on the fact that most of the audience seemed to be of Asian descent, typical of the L-1 population.

Soon the stands were filled and the overhead lights dimmed. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, welcome to the Romlin Family Circus," a deep theatrical voice boomed over the public address system. "Sit back and prepare yourselves for an afternoon of fun, daring, excitement and thrills. Put your hands together in welcome to the Romlin Circus parade of stars."

Both young men joined the audience in watching as circus performers, clowns and animals, ranging from an elephant, horses, miniature ponies, as well as caged tigers, lions and monkeys, all paraded around the circumference of the three rings. Once the entire troupe made the completed the circuit, the show began.

Trowa had been easy to spot amidst the crowd of colorful characters. His auburn hair, longer now and pulled back into the same ponytail most of the other high-wire and trapeze performers favored, exposed his handsome face that his former uni-bang hair style had hidden. His wonderfully sculpted body, clothed in a tight leotard, showed a powerful physique. Duo felt himself drawn to the other man's handsomeness, and looked aside to his blond companion to gage his reaction. His heart ached for Quatre after seeing the look of sad, wistful longing on his face as he stared intently at his former lover, now completely unaware of their once loving relationship. Reaching over, he took hold of his friend's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, gaining the other man's attention. The blond slowly turned his head to give him a slight smile of appreciation for his concern, then turned back to watch the show.

The stunts and feats of agility and daring that were performed were stunning. Duo was amazed at the bravery of the airborne performers and at how their former friend performed to perfection, eliciting gasps and enthusiastic applause from the enthralled audience. It wasn't really any surprise that Trowa still posed as a target for Katherine's knife throwing act and together the brother and sister handled the large cats while clowns entertained the audience with their antics in the two side rings.

The show lasted an hour and twenty minutes and the crowd rose to its feet with wild applause, showing enthusiastic gratitude for the talented performers.

As the lights in the big tent brightened, signaling an end to the show, Quatre took Duo's elbow and led him towards the opening where the performers had disappeared through moments earlier. One of the circus performers, a large bald man greeted them. Duo recognized him as the person who had performed a number of tricks on an assortment of bicycles and by his ridiculously long, black handlebar mustache.

"Mr. Winner. It's good to see you again. Can I help you?" the muscle-bulging man asked with a pleasant smile and deep voice.

"I'd like to pay my compliments to Triton, if that would be alright," Quatre politely requested. "And I brought a friend with me who I'd like to introduce to him."

"If you'll wait here, I'll see if that's a possibility." The large man turned and quickly departed behind another tent flap.

The two young men stood shoulder to shoulder, quietly commenting back and forth on the show they'd just seen. Duo felt a bit nervous about coming face to face with Trowa and not giving anything away that they'd met before, but Quatre's hand on the middle of his back and one of his fingers slipping teasingly under the waistband of his pants distracted him from any such worry. He looked up into the handsome face to see Quatre's teasing smile, which he returned.

"Mr. Winner!" Both men jumped a bit, startled at the suddenness and sharp tone of a woman's voice. They turned to see the familiar face of Catherine Bloom as she stepped under the flap.

"Hello, Catherine. How are you?" Quatre asked after taking off his cap and tucking it under his left arm, then offered his right hand to the unaffected woman. She hesitated a moment with a worried look in her eyes, then placed her hand in his and gave it a brief shake before hastily removing it from his clasp.

"What brings you here today?" she asked, looking wary.

"I have a friend visiting me and I thought he might enjoy the circus. After such a wonderful show, I said I'd try to introduce him to you and Triton, if you don't mind."

Catherine's eyes turned to Duo and a slow smile replaced her previous look of worry. With his hair still the auburn color he'd adopted on L-4, it was no wonder her eyes widened. "Why he looks just like..."

"Triton," Quatre cut in, hoping she didn't recognize Duo from the war. "Isn't it uncanny? I told my friend that he resembled someone I knew and had to bring him here to prove it."

It was obvious to both men that the cog and wheels were turning in the red-haired woman's mind. Believing Quatre to be Integrated like Triton, she was probably coming to the conclusion that he'd subconsciously chosen a companion that looked like his former friend and lover, somehow emotionally replacing what he'd lost without realizing it.

The young woman smiled at Duo and held out her hand to him. "Catherine Bloom," she said, introducing herself.

"Grayson Williams," Duo replied, returning the friendly gesture. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Bloom. The show was spectacular and the knife throwing was amazing."

The conversation was interrupted when the curtain behind Catherine parted and several people came through as a group. Trowa stood out amongst his peers with his height and as a leader. "Mr. Winner! How good it is to see you again."

Duo was immediately struck by the change in his former comrade. Never before had he seen Trowa so open and friendly. His beautiful green eyes were fully exposed and sparkling with genuine delight at seeing Quatre, and his smile was large and friendly. There was no reserve about the man who once epitomized self containment, had been a regular recluse, emotionally and verbally stifled. He watched dumbstruck as Quatre returned the warm smile and held his hand out once more.

"It's good to see you again, Triton." He gave the man a chiding look. "I thought we'd gotten over this 'Mr. Winner' formality the last time I came for a visit."

To Duo's amazement, Trowa threw his head back and laughed even as the two men shook hands. "Well, I didn't want to be presumptuous, Quatre," he replied, accentuating the blond's name.

"Much better," Quatre said, beaming, then turned to Duo. "Let me introduce you to my friend, Grayson Williams. Gray, this is the amazingly talented Triton Bloom."

Graciously, Trowa extended his hand and smile to Duo. "He looks like you did when you were a teenager, Triton," Cathy said, standing at his right side.

Trowa's green eyes raked over the smaller man. "Yes, I think he does. Nice to meet you, Grayson."

"The pleasure is mine," Duo managed to say, feeling a bit odd in his head with the whole situation.

Quatre seemed to sense this and turned to Trowa. "What's new and exciting in the life of the circus star?" he asked.

"We have the best news of all," Trowa said, smiling broadly. He turned around and motioned for someone behind him to come forward. A young woman with a slender build and blonde hair that fell thick and straight to a point just below her shoulders, stepped forward. She was dressed in jeans and a peasant style, white blouse that had embroidered flowers around the neck and billowy sleeves. "You remember Katiana?" Trowa asked. "She's the manager's daughter and makes our costumes for us."

Duo's eyes went wide, then shifted from one blond to the other, not knowing what to think. Trowa was introducing them to a female version of Quatre.

"Of course," Quatre smiled pleasantly and offered his hand to the young woman smiling in a shy manner at him. "How are you, Miss Katiana? It's certainly a pleasure to see you again." Quatre's manner appeared genuine, and Duo continued to be amazed by his calm and charm in this unusual situation.

Trowa studied the pretty blonde woman now standing at his side, and gently pulled her into a position in front of him. His arms then wrapped around her and his hands came to rest over her waist. "We were married last month," the tall auburn-haired man announced with a pleased grin.

"That's wonderful news!" Quatre exclaimed, and Duo thought his enthusiasm seemed a bit forced. "Congratulations to the both of you. I wish I'd known. I'd have sent a gift to celebrate your union," he added politely.

Duo stood by, observing the two men as they spoke as well as the people around them. Quatre and Triton seemed to get on well with each other, and the rest of the circus troupe obviously held Trowa in the highest esteem and Quatre with respectful awe. After several minutes of generally polite conversation passing between them, Quatre glanced down at his watch.

"I'm afraid I need to hurry along. We have a shuttle waiting for us. Where will the circus be going next?"

"Earth," Catherine answered, a glint of pride in her eyes. "We'll be taking a two-year tour planet side. Maybe, if you happen to be on Earth during that time and can get away, you could come visit us sometime," she informed them, though the look on her face told both Duo and Quatre that it was only a polite offer on her part, that she really didn't desire his attendance. There was something in her eyes when she looked at Quatre that left Duo wondering why she didn't care for him, and wondered if it was because of what happened during the war, when Trowa had been injured and suffered amnesia after being attacked by the blond under the influence of the Zero program. Whatever her reasoning, it was pretty clear to him that she wasn't going to let anything other than a long-distance friendship occur between the famous blond billionaire and her brother. Duo thought she was being foolish. She obviously didn't have to worry about the two men sharing anything other than friendship now that Trowa had taken a wife.

"That would be nice," Quatre answered her. "But my family's business is in space. I don't plan on visiting earth any time soon."

"What a pity," Catherine replied. Again, the sentiment expressed in words did not match the pleased look in her eyes.

Quatre turned to Trowa then. "I suppose I won't see you then for two years. So until that time, I wish you all the best. May good fortune be your traveling companion."

"Thank you, Quatre," Trowa replied. "And may you be well until our paths bring us together again as friends."

Quatre smiled, then reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Taking out his business card, he gave it to his former lover. "Let me know of an address where I can reach you on Earth. I'd like to send a belated wedding gift."

"You're too kind," Trowa said, his eyes moving from Quatre to his wife, who positively glowed at the promise of a grand gift from their generous friend and, from time-to-time, benefactor.

"Thank you, Mr. Winner," the young woman blushed and quickly stepped forward to place a brief kiss on his cheek, then stepped back into the comfort of Trowa's arms.

Quatre gave Trowa's new wife a soft smile, then looked to all those around them. "Be well, all of you." Replacing the cap on his head, he turned and quickly left the tent, momentarily leaving Duo behind to say his farewell.

"It was nice to meet you," Duo said, but as he moved to turn and follow the hastily retreating blond, he was stopped short by a restraining hand on his arm. He looked up questioningly into Trowa's face.

"You're his friend?" the taller man asked in the quiet voice Duo had always found soothing.

"Yes."

"Is he alright?" Trowa's hand released his arm as his eyes moved to the tent flap where Quatre had disappeared a moment earlier.

"Why do you ask?" Duo's curiosity was getting the best of him. He could see true concern on the taller man's face.

Trowa was still dressed in his costume of green leotard that showed his muscular build to perfection. "I'll admit that I don't know him very well, but he's always been very good to us, helping the circus if there's been any need. He seems to be a very good and kind person, but there's an air of sadness about him. I suppose I'd just like to see him as happy as he makes other people."

Duo smiled, there was still something of the Trowa he used to know within Triton, even after the Integration. Somehow, he still cared for Quatre and looked to his happiness. "I think he's fond of you and your circus family," he replied. "Maybe he's just sad you're going to Earth for so long. You should drop him a line once in a while. Just tell him how the circus is going and the places you're visiting. I think he'd really like that."

Trowa nodded, his facial expression was serious. His green eyes then studied Duo's. "Are you a good friend to him?" Though the words were spoken easily, there was a probing quality to the gaze that studied the smaller man. Duo had to wonder exactly what Trowa was asking.

"I'd like to think so," he replied. "He's certainly been a good friend to me."

The two men stood for a moment, measuring each other. Duo suddenly felt a profound sadness that the man before him wasn't really his tall, quiet friend with the dry sense of humor that he'd come to appreciate during the war. Like Quatre, he was relieved to see Trowa was happy and content with his life, but there was a part of him that was just beginning to grieve for the loss of Trowa Barton, his friend, forever lost to the both of them now. If he was experiencing such a sense of loss, he could only imagine what Quatre had felt in losing his soul mate.

"Don't hurt him." Trowa's sudden words startled him from his thoughts.

"Excuse me?"

The taller man's face softened slightly. "It's obvious he cares for you. Try not to hurt him."

Duo nodded. "Good bye, Tr...Triton." He caught himself before he made the mistake of calling his friend by the name he'd known him by. He extended his hand to the other man, who grasped his hand firmly as they shook hands briefly. "It was nice to meet you."

"Take care," the circus performer answered, and Duo could feel the other man's eyes on his back as he turned to leave and find Quatre.

He found his friend just outside the circus entrance, waiting patiently next to a taxi cab that was parked at the curbside with its engine running. Quatre opened the back door to the car as he approached and without a word spoken, the two situated themselves behind the driver.

"Shuttle Terminal thirteen, please," Quatre told the driver, then settled back into the worn leather seat as the taxi pulled away from the circus.

Duo looked at his friend and lover with concern. Quatre wouldn't meet his gaze and he bore a look of detachment as he fixed his eyes on the buildings that were blurred as the taxi sped along the streets of L-1. Trowa had been right, Duo realized, there was a sense of sadness that lingered with the blond despite his sunny appearance. He supposed that it had been there the whole time he'd lived with Quatre, but that he just hadn't recognized it for what it was.

Unable to think of what to say, Duo did the only thing he could. Moving closer to the taller man, he breathed in the wonderful scent he'd come to associate with the blond as he put his arms around him. He turned himself around so that the embrace became a full one, his chest against Quatre's as he rested his head on his shoulder, his arms encircling his neck. He didn't worry about the fact that he was practically sitting on Quatre's lap in the back of a car where anyone could see them. At the moment, all he cared about was the sad man in his arms.

Quatre responded immediately and Duo felt the strong swimmer's arms rise to wrap around his smaller body to pull him even closer. The hold they shared turned quickly from one of comfort to one of desperation.

"I'm sorry," Duo whispered, fighting back the emotions that came with his new understanding of Quatre's heartache. He'd learned just the day before of Quatre's sacrifice, but he didn't fully understand the cost until now. Not only had Quatre retained his memories of who he was, minus only a few painful details of the war, but he also experienced great loss of not only losing Trowa, but all of his comrades as well. He'd watched at a distance as his former lover made a new life without him, found a wife and would probably one day have a family. Duo knew full well the pain and loneliness that the Integration had brought to him, but after this visit with Trowa, he finally realized that Quatre, with all of his family influence and money, had also suffered.

The two sat entwined, silently comforting each other and oblivious to their surroundings or the taxi driver clearing his throat several times to state his not-so-subtle disapproval. No words passed between them even when the driver barked out the announcement that they had arrived at their destination. They untangled their hold on each other and stepped out of the cab and Quatre settled the fare. Walking side by side, the two men appeared calm and relaxed as they returned to the docked shuttle.

Duo secured the hatch behind them, then joined Quatre back in the shuttle's lounge. The blond sat on the sofa, his head bowed as his eyes fixed on his hands, folded in his lap. Duo stood in front of him, and when Quatre didn't acknowledge his presence, he bent and picked up the folded hand, then situated himself on the taller man's lap. He raised their joined hands and pressed the other's knuckles to his lips and kissed them before setting them down again. Moving slowly, he caressed the pale cheeks before him and placed gentle, loving kisses there. Though Quatre's thoughts had been elsewhere, his attention soon returned to his companion, doing his best to awaken the desire that rose so easily between them. As pale blue eyes met those of a darker shade, an understanding passed between. It was an unspoken need to hold onto what they had, whether as friends or lovers, they were there for each other, the only two people who really understood the pain and the sorrow they'd been through. Quatre hands rose to cup his lover's head and bought his mouth to his own, initiating a kiss that expressed all they needed to communicate to each other in that moment.

Oooooooo

Duo pulled away from the satisfying kiss when his hands were stopped from trying to unbutton the other man's shirt. "What?" he asked, surprised at Quatre stopping him. He paused to study the flaxen-haired man's face, noting the confused look in his eyes. "Something wrong?"

"No," Quatre sighed and let go of his hands. "I just had a funny, odd memory come to mind." Duo raised one eyebrow and waited for the blond man to continue, which he did. "Trowa once told me of a conversation he'd had with Heero about a heated disagreement the two of you had at one of the safe houses. Heero complained that you always thought having sex would magically make everything better, that in some way you believed that pain, hurt, hunger or rage would sprout wings and fly away if you were good enough in bed. He told Trowa that the two of you had argued about something that had happened on a mission, that accusations and hurtful words were said. After collecting yourselves, he said you wanted to make up and began to initiate sex, believing that's what it would take to make everything better between the two of you. He told Trowa he didn't feel the same way, and when he didn't accept your overtures, it led to the argument we'd overheard." Quatre looked into his lover's eyes. "Is that what you're trying to do now, Duo? Have sex with me just so I'll feel better?"

Duo sat back and combed his fingers through his growing hair, not sure how to feel about Heero's comments and Quatre's question. "I suppose maybe I am," he sighed. "And now that I think about it, Heero was probably was right too," he answered quietly, his eyes lifting to meet the blue-green ones watching him. "See, where I grew up, Quatre, there was little in the way of emotional or physical comfort, other than that of having another kid's body pressed up against your own for warmth and security. I suppose I've always thought of human touch as giving a bit of myself to another person. It was my way of giving comfort and a sense of security to Heero when things weren't great between us, telling him with my whole being that I wasn't going to fly the coop just because we disagreed. Do you think that was wrong?" he asked, uncertain.

Quatre took in the handsome, bewildered face and placed it between his two hands as he replied. "No, it wasn't wrong. It's just so... you." He smiled again, but the sadness that had been there earlier was still evident. "But Heero had a point; sex doesn't solve any of the deeper problems. After everything is done and the body is sated, the problems are still there."

"Then how can I help you with this?" the American asked, at a loss as to how he could bring the sparkle of happiness back into the blue eyes he now knew so very well.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I'm fine about Trowa?"

"No."

Dropping his hands from Duo's face, Quatre sighed. "What if I told you I was jealous of his happiness. Could you believe that?"

"Jealous?" Now Duo was really confused.

"Did you see how happy he was?" the blond asked. "You'd have to be blind not to, it was radiating off of him. He's in love with his wife and loves his life. He's got everything he's ever wanted. It's all I could have wished for him and more."

"But you love him."

"It takes two people to make it work, Duo. He is more of an acquaintance to me now and I'll do anything I can for him. But he's not mine anymore. He belongs with the circus and with people who love, respect and will take care of him. He's in a good place."

"So are you, Quat," Duo said, brushing the golden hair back from the other man's handsome face. "You've got a job, or rather had one," he frowned at the reminder that Quatre had quit his job because of him, but continued. "You've got a family who loves you, the Maguanacs who are devoted to you, and every person on every colony is infatuated with you. What more could you want? You have everything any one could ever have."

"But I don't have you, do I?"

Duo's heart sank at the soft spoken words that were tainted with pain and disappointment. "You have me right now," he answered. "Can't that be enough?"

Strong hands suddenly grabbed hold of his upper arms and quickly removed him from off of Quatre's lap and set him firmly on the seat beside him. The blond then stood and shoved his hands into his front pant's pockets, looking agitated. "I don't know if it can be, Duo. I played at being happy for so long, smiling for my sisters and the flash of cameras, that I almost made myself believe that I was happy - and then you came back into my life. You showed me that I was only fooling myself, that I wasn't really happy at all. And then you showed me that what happiness was, and that I could experience it again, even after all that's happened." Quatre sighed, raked his fingers through his blond hair, then turned pleading eyes to his lover and continued. "But with each moment that I'm with you, every touch, each shared kiss and every time we make love, I lose more of my heart to you." Pained eyes looked down into Duo's apprehensive face. "I don't know that I'll have any part of my heart left when you leave me. I don't know if I can handle losing you, Duo."

"I'm sorry," Duo rushed to say, feeling guilt and sorrow at the pain he was causing his friend. "I should have followed my first instincts and not started this physical aspect of our relationship. I honestly never believed you wouldn't want your memories back or that you could love anyone other than Trowa."

Quatre closed his eyes a moment and as his shoulders slumped slightly, he seemed to have regained his composure and calmed himself. "No regrets," he said, opening his eyes once again, looking more content. "You're coming to me was a gift, Duo. I'll not regret it now or in the future - when you're with Heero."

"But I'll have a few," the brunet said as he lay back on the soft-gold leather sofa, enjoying its supple and cool surface as he lay sprawled across it, a long, sad sigh escaping his lips. Quatre crouched down next to him and studied the handsome profile. Not liking the melancholy look on Duo's face, he decided to do something to change it. Moving carefully, he climbed up and over the smaller man's body to wedge himself against the back of the couch, settling on his side, and positioned himself so that Duo's head came to rest on his shoulder. He began to caress the other's face, feeling the slight stubble coming to the surface. "I don't want you to have any regrets either," he whispered. "Let's just be grateful that we both were able to help each other in a time of need."

"But my leaving is going to hurt you," Duo replied, the internal struggle he was having could be heard in his voice. He was torn between the love for his friend and his duty to his lover still on Earth, living in a state of ignorance of his situation.

Quatre's hands wove through the burnished brown hair. "Ultimately, I want you to be happy, just like Trowa. If it means you need to be with Heero in order for that happiness to come to fruition, then I'll do all I can to help."

"I'm sorry..." Duo began, feeling he could never apologize enough for the hurt and sadness he might be causing his lover by leaving him. But his continued attempts at expressing his regrets were stopped when two fingers were placed over his mouth.

"At this end of this short vacation from work," Quatre began in a calm voice, "I'll give you the information Rashid sent me. I got an email from him just before we left and he sent a brief preview of what he'd gathered. It contains Heero's, or rather Kai Ozuka's place of employment and the address and photos of his residence. There's also a site plan of each and a detailed outline of his fairly predictable schedule. Rashid even managed to slip a homing device into the collar of Kai's jacket and a listening device into his bedroom. There's a transcript containing a week's worth of relative silence, other than a T.V. in the background and a few phone calls."

Duo lifted his head to give the blond a questioning look after the last bit of information. Quatre answered it. "Seems that behind closed door things aren't what they appear in the supposedly happily-ever-after marriage of the Princess of Sanq and her bodyguard husband."

A perverse smile grew on Duo's face, then he threw his head back and laughed out loud. "Serves her right," he said, his eyes bright at the thought of Relena's scheme backfiring on her. "She's getting some of her just desserts. I hope she's miserable." Then throwing his arms around the other man, Duo hugged him tightly. When he pulled back, there was a look of excitement in his eyes that Quatre hadn't seen since their reunion several months earlier.

"Why don't we go now, Quat? Let's go to Earth together. We can visit Rashid and stay with him until you get your apology from your sister so you can return to work."

The blond shifted and turned his eyes from the happiness radiating off of his companion to stare at the shuttle's ceiling above him. "I'm afraid that's impossible," he replied, a frown returning to his face. "You see, part of my agreement for being only partially Integrated was that I would never return to Earth. Rashid, because of his devotion to me during the war, is no longer able to come to space. We're physically separated from each other for the rest of our lives."

Duo frowned. "We never used to follow the rules, Quat. If you really wanted to sneak off to Earth, you know you could to it."

The blond shook his head in denial of Duo's claim. "They embedded a locator chip into my hipbone. It will send off an identifying and locating signal if I ever enter Earth's atmosphere. I'd try to have it removed, but the doctors said they would be alerted if it was tampered with."

There were several moments of strained silence between the two, broken when Quatre continued. "I'll have a shuttle available for you to use when you're ready to go. I'd really like it if you'd stay with me for the remainder of this week, though. Can you do that for me, Duo?" He turned his head again to see Duo studying him, propped up on his side and looking down into his face. "Will you let me have this last week with you by my side?"

"I didn't..." Duo stopped his apology after receiving the glance of weariness from the other. "Anything for you, Quatre; I owe you so much. You've healed me in so many ways that I can never really repay you." He brought his hand up to brush the soft blond hair, so silky as it fell through his fingers, back and away from the eyes he found so beautiful. "I do love you, Quatre, even though my heart belongs to Heero," he whispered as his emotions rose to the surface along with the heart-felt sentiment. "You're my best friend." Lowering his head, he kissed the lips he'd come to know so well since their first night together.

They took their time as their lips and tongues intimately danced and their hands undressed each other in an unhurried manner while caressing each other's bodies, touching everywhere and taking in the feel and scent that was unique about the other man as they both continued down the familiar path leading to shared passion.

Duo wondered briefly at the languid pace of their lovemaking. It appeared to him as if Quatre was memorizing the curves and dips of his body, and his tongue lapped at his skin as if relishing it for the very last time. His lover's movements were slow and methodical, causing his own body to respond, yet he kept it controlled, not willing to have their lovemaking end too suddenly. And for his part, Duo noticed the smoothness of Quatre's shoulders, the muscles that bunched as the blond moved above him, his arms flexing as they were braced on either side of his body. He noted the small triangular patch of blond hair in the center of Quatre's sleekly sculpted chest and the softness and perfection of the pale skin. He ran his hand over the slender waist and firm buttocks, appreciating the strength just below the surface. "You're so beautiful," he whispered in Quatre's ear, and was pleased to feel the blond's body react to the soft words, bringing more pleasure to the both of them.

"You are like the desert sun, Duo," Quatre whispered back, his breath warm and inviting on Duo's neck. "All warmth, blindingly brilliant and life giving. You are the center of my universe."

Tears came to Duo's eyes at hearing his friend's feelings for him. The depths of Quatre's love was humbling, and he felt guilty all over again for not being able to return that love as Quatre clearly craved for him to do. He knew he couldn't be as poetic as the Arabian, but he knew he had to try and speak what was in his heart for the other man. In a choked voice, he replied, "If I am your sun, then you are the moon and the stars, lighting the darkness that's been my life for the last three years." He gave a shaky smile and added, "And you know how I've always loved looking at the moon."

A smile grew on the blond man's face a moment before he lowered himself onto the smaller man, their mouths and bodies joining together once more, expressing their feelings for each other in a way that words would never be able to convey.

Continued Soon

Note - Thanks to all reviewers. You're the pat on the back that keeps me going.