Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ironic ❯ Paradox ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: Hindi nga akin!!! Nakakainis na ito parating dapat ulit-ulitin!!! Ano ba yan?

A/N: Finally I can upload! Life was very sucky and hectic, and still is for the time being! So I'm so, so sorry!

Call me an eccentric, but Quatre and Dorothy remind me of Arnold and Helga! Heheh!

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Ironic Chapter IV - Paradox

"What kind of suitor is Colonel Rodriguez? Some lazy bum who can't even drop by the hospital to see you…" Heero muttered to her as she turned off the connection from the Colonel's phone. He took the videophone and stretched to place it on the table adjacent to her bed. He sat by her bedside, their emotional embrace broken by a phone call from the Colonel.

"Like hell you would let him in anyway…" She rolled her eyes.

"Would you marry him?" His head leaned closer to lock his eyes into hers.

"Now just what kind of question is that?"

"Would you marry the guy if I never existed?" he repeated, persistently.

"You know as well as I do that we're barely friends…and that's not the issue right now…you do exist and it's not him I have intense feelings for…" She sighed.

He enveloped her once again in his embrace, closing his eyes and stroking her hair, overwhelmed at how she openly said that to him, finding it difficult to believe it was actually happening. It seemed like shattered glass two nights ago. She was at shock at first, at how stirring that morning has been, and his sudden display of affections, but responded by leaning against him, finding her dream had come true. If only she could stay in that moment forever…

The emotions they felt while in the embrace are too ineffable that no words can explain the complex details of emotions they were feeling.

Too much came all at once.

"We've lost so much time…I can't believe it took us this long to get it all out…well…it took you this long to at least admit it," she murmured in his ear.

"It pains me to know that there are other men after you…"

"But you never knew how much it pained me too…wishing those all came from you…"

"I was a coward…a selfish, laughable fool…"

Upon his words, she pulled back to look at his face, she found one of his warm hands in her waist and held it against her cheek.

"None of those men gallantly went out of their way to save me…none of them really knew me, never really loved me, at least not for what I really am…come to think of it, no matter how much time we've lost, right now it doesn't seem to matter anymore…"

"But what will happen to both of us now? We can't just have a relationship and prevent it from being public…and it will become public sooner or later…how is it going to change everything?" He rubbed her cheek deftly.

"We're lost time hiding…from each other…from our real emotions…that almost ruined everything, and we can't do the same mistake twice…I'm not ashamed of you, of me, of us…not after withholding so much for so long and being torn apart by it…"

"I'll make it up to you…I promise…I'll never--…"

"About…those words I said to you that night…"

"They mean nothing now…you said so yourself a while ago that you never meant to hurt me…"

"I never meant to say them…the stupid fool I was…saying them when in my heart I completely knew that I was spoiling our already tattered situation…"

"Honestly, they did hurt me, but it never lives up to how much I hurt you…denying you of the truth you deserved…depriving you of the love I really did feel inside…of the love you so wanted…"

Touched by what he said, and the pure honesty of it, she dipped her face against his, touching both of their noses together.

"I know it's difficult to forget the pain…but knowing this time we'll be together…it's not so hard anymore," she whispered.

Nothing more was said.

Their lips met, leaving the whole world behind as their lips came into contact. She wrapped her arms around him, and let his tongue swivel in her mouth. He uncontrollably found his hands roaming around her body, unable to resist the overflowing of pent up desires and emotions in him. His hand went to cup her breast gently, and somehow he felt he was going too far. She was still weak after all from the overdose, but it was just too hard to stop, especially with her not trying to stop him at all.

He's never been that close to the flame before.

"We…we should stop--now…" he spoke in her mouth, his voice husky with desire.

She moaned in protest, but the two sprang apart upon the sudden knock on the door.

The door opened, and a rather elderly doctor peered in the door and smiled. He went in and closed the door behind him and took a glance at his clipboard.

"Ah, yes, Miss Peacecraft. How are you feeling?"

"Well, a little exhausted…and a bit hungry…but apart from all of that, I feel fine," she replied breathlessly, watching Heero embarrassedly stand up and focus his attention on the window outside.

"Good, good. With everything alright, I will be able to let you check-out by tonight."

"That's wonderful, doctor. Thank you," she said as she smiled tiredly.

"Have lots of water, eat as much as you want, and next time, I trust that this young man will prevent you from accidentally taking too much pills," he grinned, as Heero turned over to glance at him. She blushed and nodded at the doctor's orders.

"If that's all, Miss Peacecraft, I'll leave now. Do you have any questions?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, no. Thank you very much, doctor," she extended her arm to shake his hand.

He shook her hand, and he went to the door.

"Take care, young lady." He smiled kindly.

"I will, you too, doctor." She replied, smiling back. Her smile dissipated into a frown when she saw Heero.

"What's wrong, Heero?"

"The doctor just told me to take care of you, Relena…" he said, his voice hoarse with near melancholy.

"And so? What's wrong with that?"

"I was the cause of this. Your overdose, your pain…your despondency…How can I possibly take care of you when I was the root of every burden?"

"But…Heero…have you forgotten how it has changed? If you love me, like you tell me, then stop saying such things…"

"I don't know, Relena…what if I cause more damage? It was nearly irrevocable as it was."

Before she could say anything, he stalked out of the door, unaware of the tears trickling down her face.

'I thought it was real…but it was taken away the very minute I gave in and believed…'

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He thought he said those words just a little too loud.

Loud enough for her to be waken up by them.

Her icy cobalt orbs flickered open and it baffled him how her eyes opened so suddenly like that. A normal person's eyes would flutter at least twice before opening entirely.

"Quatre, may I ask…what you are doing?" she asked groggily. She got up, noticing that his hand was pressed snugly against hers.

"I can't let go Dorothy…I can't," he replied in a nearly rundown tone.

"Can't let go of what? I don't understand…" Somehow, she was perplexed, but she had some idea of what he was talking about.

He closed his eyes for a second, and opened them, and with an anxious lick of his lips he said: "Marry me, Dorothy…"

She pulled her hand away, biting her lip, equivocally baffled. Truly the past few days have been exorbitantly poignant.

"You deserve a better life…you deserve to be happy…you should marry a sweet, young blue blood…" she trailed off, unable to bear the pain she was inflicting on both of them.

"But I will be unhappy either way! Would you just stop these, Dorothy…it hurts me, and I only know that is only half of your pain…for you not only feel yours, but mine as well…"

"Pain has become me…I have been overpowered by pain all throughout my life that it means nothing now…"

'But I know the pain of separation from you has never overcome me…'

"You know as well as I do that I'd choose an unhappy life knowing that we can never be, but be satisfied with the awareness of your feelings for me than choose the second unhappiness knowing my life was a total waste but never realizing it until the end…never having the privilege of that great, coveted love…"

"But at what price, Quatre? Our lives are too stable…too successful…to squeeze in anything!"

"I don't care how much…how long I have to wait…"

"Well, I do!"

"But I love you, Dorothy!"

"Sacrifices have to be made."

"What is it that you treasure so much, that you are willing to give up your feelings, your happiness just for it?"

"A hell of a lot of things you don't even understand!"

"Is this what you want? Is this how it feels? To have this overwhelming, gratifying feeling of the knowledge of what you feel about me, and when I begin to believe, it is taken back?" he demanded of her, growing impatient.

She looked away, stood up and straightened her outfit, searching the benches for her purse, and finally spotted it after a few seconds.

"After I see Relena, I'm taking a flight to Milan...today…for a business meeting…" she replied, picking up her purse.

"Give it up Dorothy…I beg of you…" he asked of her, pleadingly.

She turned back to him and stretched her hand.

"I guess this is goodbye, Quatre."

He gaped at her outstretched hand and turned away, frowning.

"How can you ask me to say goodbye just like that when I just told you I can't let go? I refuse to say goodbye…"

She sadly turned away, picking up her hand bag and not looking back.

Then, he did and said something she never expected him to do.

He grabbed her by the arm, and turned her around to face him.

"You understand that I am willing to give everything up for you and you can't even give one thing up for me?"

"It's not that, Quatre," she placed her hand on his cheek. "Romafellar is making my sacrifices for me. That's the problem with you, Quatre, you're too sentimental. And I never was."

She let her hand slide away from his face as he let her go.

He stood there, as she started to walk away.

She unzipped her bag and rummaged through the pile of things in it, and her numb fingers finally touched what it was looking for.

She irately brushed the two droplets of tears that streamed from her eyes before she slipped the ring back on her left hand.

'I said you were my only…but I am promised to someone else…'

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