Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ It's a Gundam! ❯ A New Pet Hate ( Chapter 1 )

This story is Dedicated to my friend Enna. Without her it wouldn't exist. Mainly because we sat and watched GW anime together and it is actually amazing the sheer amount of times those enemies utter the words "It's a Gundam!" It infuriated her, and I must admit I found it grating as well, and it kind of gave me an idea. She has been a great muse.

Please be gentle, this is my first attempt at Humour and will be posted in a few parts.

The pairings are all implied nothing really explicit: 1x2 and 3x5

Disclaimer : Don't own em, wish I did, but they wont let me buy them for 3 dollars, and I cant spare anymore cash.

Anyway hope you enjoy, if you wish to archive this story or be on the mailing list to find out when I update then please email me arithkenshin@yahoo.co.uk and reviews are always welcome, pleaded neeeedded!!!

^^Italics with these little ears should be the song words unless it hates me and then only the little ears are /snicker^^

Without Further Ado

It's a Gundam: A New Pet Hate

When first waking up one can feel disorientated, and usually reluctant to actually get out of bed. That was how Duo felt when his alarm clock turned itself on and started playing the last strains of one of the latest chart toppers. Turning onto his side Duo decided that he would stay in bed for a little while longer and snuggle with his definitely snuggleble blanket and pillows and try not to remember that all five of them had a mission later on in the morning. He was definitely not a morning person.

Managing to start to doze off again, Duo was brought out of his nice haze by a jingle on the radio. No, he corrected his initial thought it was defiantly not a jingle, it was a song. Slowly he sat up and looked at the radio in disbelief, hearing the words but not actually being able to grasp the situation.

^^And the as the sun rises

The enemy disguises

And we run but something flies overhead

Is it friend or is it foe

Is it something that we know

If we run we might end up dead

But all the same

We see its form

It's a Gundam

For good or bad

It's a Gundam

It's a Gundam

Friend or foe

It's a Gundam

When will we know^^

Slowly Duo turned to look at the calendar on the wall; as it wasn't April fools day he immediately dismissed that idea. Instead he had to assume that it was an actual song. The refrain started to grate on his nerves and Duo felt that something inside of him starting to get very tense. Reaching under his pillow he pulled out his handgun, which was a habit he had picked up from sharing rooms with Heero, he unclicked the safety and aimed it at his alarm clock.

* Bang *

Having disposed of the annoying alarm clock made Duo feel much better and he let himself lie back down, determined to get a few more minutes shut eye before he got up and had some breakfast. However there was one small problem. That stupid song had lodged itself in Duo's brain and he couldn't fall asleep. In fact, it was that bad that he found himself actually humming the annoying little ditty.

Exasperated, he sat up in bed. Great, now that song was going to be in his head all day. As if it wasn't enough that he had to listen to idiot enemy pilots stating the bleeding obvious, now he couldn't even escape it on the radio. Grumbling, he decided that there was no way that he was going to get any decent amount of doze in before he had to put in a show for breakfast, he got out of bed and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower, muttering under his breath. "They've got names idiots, calling them just Gundam's is insulting." Turning on the water he made sure it was hot, so it could wash away all of his annoyance.

A while later, and feeling somewhat better than he had felt before the shower, Duo headed out of the bathroom deftly braiding his hair as he went and unconsciously whistling that stupid little tune.

Arriving downstairs he flashed a big grin at all his early rising friends. "And top of the morning to you all folks…" His English accent could definitely do with some working on. "Slept as sound as a bug in a rug I did!"

Trowa raised his visible eyebrow; Wufei snorted; Quatre just smiled and Heero looked at him, almost through him.

"Hn, baka…what did you shoot this time? Another cockroach?" The look on Heero's face told his lover just how childish he thought such an action would be.

Scowling briefly Duo didn't take offence, though he could have if he had wanted to. Taking offence just took way too much energy that Duo would prefer to be using to annoy his friends and lover. "No no no!" Duo bounced over to get himself some breakfast cereal. "This stupid piece of crap that I have no idea how the hell it got on the airwaves was playing, and it pissed me off." Stopping briefly he cocked his head to one side as if contemplating something. "Oh yeah, Q-T, I need a new alarm clock."

"You shot the clock Duo?" Quatre couldn't help it.

"Yeah well, it's the clock's fault that I now have this stupid piece of shit song in my head and cant get it out!"

Wufei couldn't believe the little act that Duo was pulling over a stupid song. "Oh Maxwell, don't make such a big deal out of it. What was the song anyway?"

Duo struck a dramatic pose. "It's a Gundam."

Wufei probably shouldn't have taken a sip of his tea right then, because he ended up spluttering it all back out and giving Duo an incredulous look as if to test whether or not he was serious. Trowa's face actually looked like it was going to laugh and Quatre smiled good-naturedly at his friend, thinking that he was kidding.

Heero however just looked at Duo sceptically and raised and eyebrow. "You don't say?"

"I do say, and in fact, it's almost as annoying as the idiots we have to fight. I mean our Gundam's have names!" He sat himself at the table and started shovelling the food into his mouth, still trying to talk. "Anth I woth up to ith…"

As if out of the same mouth all four of his comrades spoke. "Duo don't talk with food in your mouth." Before going back to what it was they had been doing.

Suitably chastised, Duo went back to munching on his food and grinning happily at his friends as they ignored him and continued about their morning. That is until Wufei flicked open the newspaper he had been reading.

Duo's eyes bulged and he almost choked on the food he was eating. Staring him right in the face was a headline in the paper. A large bold headline: It's a Gundam.

Spluttering in outrage, Duo pushed himself away from the table, momentarily seeing red. "You have to be fucking kidding… how frigging hard is it to say Wing, or Shenlong, or even Deathscythe… ok that is a little harder to say especially if you have a lisp, but hell!!! This is ridiculous, how many times do we have to put up with this shit!"

Hands clenched into fists at Duo's sides and he was breathing heavily. Wufei and Trowa seemed mildly amused while Quatre had a look of concern on his face. Heero on the other hand had that semi permanent frown, which seemed to have deepened slightly, on his face and stood flexing his fingers.

"Duo are you ok?" Quatre's concern showed through in his voice, but, surprisingly, it was Heero who walked to the braided boy.

"Duo…" Almost reluctantly Heero placed a hand on Duo's arm, to ground him again.

Violet eyes flashed at him, refocusing fast. "Oh, yeah, sorry forgot myself." The grin plastered over his face again, and he pulled away from Heero. "Heh, just kind of gets to me when I hear and see things like that. It's just so bloody annoying."

He glanced at his watch. "Oh shit, would you look at the time guys, we have a base to blow up soon. Be back in a jiffy ne? I have to go re-brush my hair, its annoying me too!"

Watching Duo bound back up the stairs Wufei pursed his lips in thought. "Does he ever run out of energy?"

Replying with his usual "Hn." Heero ducked his head before anyone could notice the blush that crossed his face.

Having brushed his hair for a half hour Duo felt amazingly better. That always managed to sooth him. Bouncing out of the house ahead of the others he made his way to the four-wheel-drive and called "Shotgun" very loudly, before climbing into the passenger seat. Wufei grumbled something about having to share the squashed back seat.

"What was that `Fei?" Duo had had that smirk on his face.

"Nothing Maxwell."

"Ahh, I thought you'd likebeing stuck in the back seat with two rather good looking men, especially Trowa." Duo laughed as Wufei turned a crimson red and recalling one of his favourite lines from one of his favourite old comedic groups he nudged Wufei in the ribs when the boy came around to Duo's side of the car. "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean huh huh?" And for that effort Duo received a Wufei death glare; which wasn't as effective as a Heero Yuy Death glare, but quite a good glare nevertheless.

However as with Heero, it had no effect on Duo whatsoever and the longhaired boy just jumped into his seat, absently humming that annoying little tune.

Sitting next to him in the driver's seat, Heero looked out of the corner of his eyes at the hyperactive boy, trying not to let his thoughts wander. He was successful in that attempt probably only because Duo was humming that damn song.

"What are you humming Duo." Heero lost his patience.

"Shit," Duo realised belatedly what he had been humming and groaned. "That stupid bloody song."

Exasperated Heero flicked the radio on, unaware of the four sets of eyes that were now regarding him as if he had grown a second head, or maybe even a third. It was a well known fact that no one played music in the car when Heero was driving.

After sitting silently for what seemed like a record amount of time for him, approximately 2 minutes, Duo opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped by the news bulletin that hit the radio waves. Gaping at the radio, he couldn't quite comprehend what he was hearing.

There was noise in the background as the news reader spoke, as if the woman was on site at a battle, which indeed, it appeared she had been; namely the Gundam battle of the previous day if the screams in the background were anything to go by. Because Duo could clearly hear them all screaming. "Look! It's a Gundam." The screams and the day old report then faded into the background as a `Talk Show' came on air. Duo's incredulous gaze was still focussed on the radio, and he did not notice the concerned looks his friends were giving him.

The show started. "Good afternoon ladies and gents, yes that's right Hot Topic is on air live again. Today's topic is "It's a Gundam!"

Something inside Duo began to fray, with an almost graceful speed he drew his handgun and shot the radio, making it fizzle and spark. Only the sound of the engine could be heard, as the inside of the car was completely silent until Quatre gave out an exasperated sigh.

"Turning it off, or switching channels would have had the same effect Duo!"

The violet eyed man didn't take his eyes off the now destroyed radio, as if expecting it to start up again.

"Well it certainly will think twice about dishonouring the Gundam name again!" Wufei couldn't help but chuckle at his own joke, and Trowa even cracked a half grin.

Heero however was watching his braided lover carefully out of the corner of his eye.

And then he saw it. Acting quickly, he gently removed the gun from Duo's hands as the vein on Duo's left temple started to pulse visibly.

~~**~~

To be Continued

Please tell me what you think! This was my first ever attempt at including humour into a story as a main factor - be gentle please!

Oh and for those interested… when I get around to the prequel to Some Way Back, this will actually be built into it /snicker… hey I cant be dark and angsty alllll the time can I?

~Arith