Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ It's a Gundam! ❯ Gundam's have Feelings Too! ( Chapter 2 )

This story is Dedicated to my friend Enna. Without her it wouldn't exist. Mainly because we sat and watched GW anime together and it is actually amazing the sheer amount of times those enemies utter the words "It's a Gundam!" It infuriated her, and I must admit I found it grating as well, and it kind of gave me an idea. She has been a great muse.

Please be gentle, this is my first attempt at Humour and will be posted in a few parts.

The pairings are all implied nothing really explicit: 1x2 and 3x5

Disclaimer : Don't own em, wish I did, but they wont let me buy them for 3 dollars, and I cant spare anymore cash.

Anyway hope you enjoy, if you wish to archive this story or be on the mailing list to find out when I update then please email me arithkenshin@yahoo.co.uk and reviews are always welcome, pleaded neeeedded!!!

It's a Gundam: Gundam's have feelings too!!!

The rest of the drive was spent in a rather terse silence. Duo didn't even tease Wufei and Trowa for sitting just close enough to touch. That meant something was seriously bothering the braided pilot, because lets admit it, Duo never missed an opportunity to annoy the shit out of people he knows he can annoy all too well. And another thing to admit freely was that Wufei couldn't help but bite every single time, which is really what made Duo's teasing so tantalizing for the violet-eyed youth.

Heero was frowning. That little pulsing vein in Duo's forehead region was shouting out warnings to him, but for some reason the answer to why it was warning him was escaping him completely. Probably simply because as per usual, his thoughts strayed to the previous night, and many before that. Perfect soldier he might be, but he had a weakness, that was Duo Maxwell. Pushing the warning to the back of his mind, Heero decided to deal with it later and instead concentrate on the road…or trail was probably more accurate.

As the car stopped Duo was the first out of it, heading towards Deathscythe's hidey hole without a word.

A collective shiver ran through the remaining four pilots as they realized, something was a little wrong, though each shrugged it off as they realized that Duo was probably just psyching for a mission. Of course they all failed to hear him humming that fricking song again.

Meanwhile, there was a distinct disagreement going on in Duo's head.

~Calm down Duo, really, its just a song~

#and a headline and a news topic and on every fucking wanker who pilots an MS's lips#

~ok, so it's a little worse than I'm making out~

#you always try to make things look better, stop being so damn positive#

~but… its my job!~

#well then, I'll just tune the senses out to you#

~you can…. *silence *

#what was that? I don't think I quite heard you! /snicker#

A grin spread across Duo's face as he reached and jumped into his Deathscythe, still humming the tune.

The five Gundam's approached the base they needed to decimate. A highly well armed and protected base, but it was definitely within their capabilities. Frankly Heero thought all five of them being there was a little bit of overkill. A frown still creased his face as he realized he had never heard Duo speak so little, not even during sex. With a cough he corrected himself, especially not during sex. He didn't actually realize that it was possible for the braided baka to ever shut up, but apparently he had been mistaken.

As the Gundam's approached the base, the screams started. And it was very easy for each and every pilot to hear exactly what was being screamed.

"It's a Gundam! It's a Gundam!"

And that thing that had been tensing and fraying inside Duo, snapped! His voice carried clear and loudly over the entire battle scene.

"Of course it's a fucking Gundam you imbeciles, what the fuck else would it be."

Silence ensued… a confused silence.

Heero lowered his head. So much for Duo not talking. He would wait this out and see how it went… maybe…

All of a sudden Deathscythe spun and swirled around.

"Hello ladies and gents! Now that I have your attention, I would like to teach you all something. Are we all paying attention!?"

The screams of "It's a Gundam!" had taken up their chorus again.

"Beep! Wrong answer people!" The scythe swept dangerously close to the idiots screaming on the ground and pointed towards them. "The next person to say "It's a Gundam is going to get cleaved in two by my good old buddy old pal scythy wythy here!"

The crickets chirped.

"Excellent! Now for today's lesson we are going to play a little game!"

Heero hn'd, Trowa blinked, Wufei groaned and Quatre clapped his hands before he realized he had the other three glaring at him.

"What?!!"

"Don't encourage him." Trowa's deadpan face made Quatre fairly sure that his unibanged friend was also trying to hold back a half smile, which for Trowa was like full scale laughter.

Quatre leaned forward to await what Duo would do next, he usually loved his American friends antics, of course his face fell a little when he heard Duo's next words, and he gulped a little.

"We are going to play, how to address a Gundam properly!"

Heero forgot to not let emotions play across his face, showing shock; Trowa forgot that he apparently never expressed anything and allowed his jaw to hit the floor of his Gundam, which is actually quite painful considering how hard gundanium is. Wufei started praying "please let it be a joke Nataku please!" And Quatre turned a little pale, wondering exactly what his friend meant.

Adapting the thermal blade on his scythe, Duo pointed to Heavyarms. "Now this is what we call a mobile suit doll made out of gundanium alloy, which makes us a fuckload better than all you pieces of crap out there. This one in particular is called Heavyarms." Of course Duo didn't notice that Trowa was looking desperately around his cockpit for a means of escape.

"Now I know that one isn't very hard to say now is it? Come on people…repeat after me, I know you can do it. Heeeaaavvvyyyyaaarrrmmmmssss. Yes that's it, Heavy arms! And as his arms look heavy, I guess even you people have enough intellect to figure out where the name came from" Twirling the pole of the scythe like a baton he placed it over his shoulder and sauntered, yes Heero had to admit he actually got his Gundam to saunter, closer to his students. "Now that we have that sorted out, a little info on its pilot. The pilot of heavy arms has a fetish for hair gel and black eyed and haired Chinese pilots." He also failed to see Trowa sinking from his seat as if he could disappear through the floor of his cockpit, as well as Wufei carefully sharpening the blade of his katana, a distinct look of determination on his face.

"Wave to the nice people oh Heavyarms pilot!" Duo noticed the lack of movement. "He's just shy… shall we move on…"

Not waiting for or really wanting an answer Duo continued on, picking out Shenlong next.

Heero sat in his cockpit trying to calculate just how he could get Duo out of Deathscythe and shut him up before he turned to pick on wing.

"Now here we have Shenlong! Yes nice name isn't it. See its not just a Gundam, it's Shenlong the Gundam. Our Gundam's have feelings too and at the moment every single one of you are insulting our Gundam's. I am sure you don't want to insult our Gundam's!" He started to twirl the `baton' again.

"Now repeat again, because I know it isn't hard: Shenlong! See not hard at all. And I am guessing you can tell why they called it Shenlong… I mean look at that claw…it extends and WHAM, you're dead!"

The crowd of enemy mobile suits and bystanders seemed to be mesmerized by what was going on in front of them.

Quatre was laughing, holding his sides in pain laughing, sort of forgetting that his turn would come. He had to secretly admit that the enemy yelling constantly "It's a Gundam" peeved him a little too, I mean how unoriginal could they be.

"Now Shenlong's name could refer to it's pilot in certain ways if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean, know what I mean!" Wufei spluttered so hard he forgot he was polishing his katana and promptly cut himself, which led to a lot of cursing that prominently involved Duo and Nataku. Some of the content is unrepeatable due to the rating of this fic.

"But of course the only person who can attest to that is Heavy's pilot." It almost looked as if Deathscythe was grinning. Quatre was close to pissing himself with laughter at the sight of Wufei's face; Heero was fighting off a smirk, and Trowa was really trying to prove a theory that he could sink through a gundanium floor quite successfully. Wufei was trying to stop the blood pouring from his hand as well as glare effectively at Duo, who completely ignored everyone.

"Now people…" And Deathscythe started pacing, carelessly swinging his scythe from side to side like a pendulum. "I will introduce myself at this point in time. I am the pilot of Deathscythe. Only the people with a lisp are excused from practicing my name, because although I kill people for fun, I am not a sadist."

Heero could almost see the smirk cross the Gundam's face; Quatre fell out of his seat laughing; Trowa couldn't help the twitch of his lips. Wufei was that busy planning out the 869th way to exact revenge on Duo, while tending his wound, for tarnishing his honor that he didn't hear what the braided pilot had said.

"Now repeat after me…Deathscythe! D e a t h s c y t h e." The clapping of hands could be heard. "Well done people, I think you're learning! My name is pretty fucking obvious now isn't it…I bring lots of yummy blood, carnage and death to you all and I use a Sycthe! Now I enjoy a lot of things including one of these pilots, but I think I'll keep that a secret a little while longer. Personally you should all be honoured since I just introduced you to the God of Death, that is me!" He bowed.

Red wasn't really a colour that suited Heero; Quatre was having trouble breathing; Trowa was cautiously picking himself up from the floor; and Wufei had finally staunched the blood flow.

"Now, moving right along! This lovely contraption over here with the tasteful black here and there is Sandrock!" Quatre stopped laughing and his eyes widened. "Now I actually have no idea why they called him Sandrock, I mean those swords that can very neatly cleave you all into little bits and pieces don't look like sand or rocks do they, but ahhh well we can't all be perfect. Sandrock… repeat… Sandrock… yes… even those with a lisp thank you very much." Deathscythe leant on his scythe as if it was the most natural thing in the world for a massive Gundam suit to be doing. "Now the pilot of this splendid exhibit is like our little brother. You hurt him, we kill you. Rather beautiful, yet so simple. Oh and if he ever asks you to surrender, do it, cause none of the rest of us would, and he would actually let you live, whereas none of the rest of us give a shit." A nervous giggle erupted from Quatre's throat as he fervently hoped he wouldn't come in for anymore barbs from Duo.

"Wave hello now Sandrocky!"

Giggling a little Quatre made Sandrock wave.

Unsurprisingly, Duo then turned his attention to Wing.

"Ahhhh and Wing, my lovely Wing."

Heero gulped trying to find a way out of this that meant stopping Duo in the next 20 seconds as well as completing the mission, and he drew a blank. Quatre drew a sigh of relief and started giggling in the same breath. Trowa scowled mildly and Wufei was still trying to get over his outrage at the fact that Quatre had been let off so easily. The Chinese man was having a little trouble getting his sense of Justice to let him keep up with things.

"Now as you can see Wing has a decidedly simple name. Even lispers should have no problem with this… and I mean no problem. Repeat after me… WING… W I N G! You know… like the things sticking out of its back…Yes and now you have why its called Wing."

Heero tensed, sensing an impending doom.

"Now as for Wing's pilot…he's the only thing who gets to use death as a toy…" a slight chuckle emerged from Duo at his own joke, while Heero discovered yet another shade of red that was just not right for him; Quatre gasped for breath; Trowa was pleased that someone else had the focus on them and Wufei had finally caught up with the conversation.

"No one touches him, otherwise I get pissed, and I mean, I get pissed. You don't want to piss me off do you…" He purred the last. "But anyway, he enjoys killing each and every one of you and is exceptionally good at it, and also enjoys long evenings spent…" Heero gave out a strangled `Hn'… "Assembling and reassembling his favorite gun." Although it wasn't as bad as Heero had expected, it had room enough for insinuations and he groaned. Quatre was too far gone in a fit of giggles, Trowa's lips were twitching again and Wufei had a predatory glare as he realized that Yuy would very likely help him pay Duo back.

"Now, have we all understood today's lesson?" Silence greeted him.

Sighing, Duo gave it another try. "What do we call the Gundams now? Remembering that they have feelings too and insulting something that weighs a few tons is probably a bad idea?"

For about five seconds there was complete silence.

Then almost as one the crowd screamed.

"It's a Gundam!"

~~**~~

To be Continued

Well hoped you liked it, stay tuned, same bat channel and all that!

Review a starving author please ;)

~Arith