Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Kaifuku ❯ Chapter 2

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Kaifuku

Ch. .2.

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He fired at the palace. Zero crashed. His body broke to pieces, and his mind soon followed. Relena? Was that her? Was she speaking to him? His mind melted away...

What happened? Who did he shoot? What was a 'Zero' anyway? Some kind of aircraft? It sounded familiar. He had read about 'Zeros' in history books. Hadn't they attacked Pearl Harbor? It was a classic case of a 'surprise preventative attack', his tutor had said. Then, had he been involved in some sort of battle? Or had he crashed his plane somewhere, like a Kamikaze? No! No! That was over 300 years ago! Then where was he? Who was he? Why couldn't he remember?

He heard a soft clatter, which soon brought him back to the here and now. Opening his eyes, he slowly turned towards the sound.

A man stood by the bed across the room, arranging various items on it. All he could see was the man's back, which facing him. He was tall, or so he seemed from a lower angle. His hair was black and short. He seemed very well built, wide shoulders and a sturdy torso.

The man turned, wiping his hands with a towel. He appeared to be in his early forties. His features seemed stern, probably because of his well defined jawline. Short stubble grew on his face, and his nose was a bit crooked as well.

When the man finally looked up from the towel, their eyes met.

There was a moment of stunned silence, before the man nodded slowly towards him. "Hello," he said in a baritone voice that ran chills through his body.

Looking up at the man's eyes, he thought about speaking. However, he couldn't remember how to use any words. His mouth was useless; it didn't know how to speak. He waited for the man to continue.

"My name is Nicolai Smirnov." The man introduced himself, taking a step closer to the bed. "I've been appointed by the United Earth Sphere Alliance to take care of you."

That was too much in one sentence. He frowned, staring at the man while trying to sort out the words. Nicolai was a name, the man's name. The man was Nicolai. If he was Nicolai, then who was he? And what else had the man said?

The man didn't seem inclined to give any more information. Instead, he approached the bed and leaned down to look straight into his eyes. "Do you know your name?"

His name. Yes, of course he had a name. It was... that thing people called him when… when they needed something. Orders. Orders! His name was used when he had orders! What was it again? Which one was it again? There were too many! Kenji? No. Yuuki? No, no, that was from a long time ago, he never liked it anyway. 'Boy' maybe? Boy! That was it! They used that one a lot, no? Who were 'they' anyway? They never gave him a real name. Maybe he didn't have a name. All he had was a -

"C-co..." he groaned with a strained, tired voice, "c-code...name?"

The man seemed troubled by his response. He even paled a little. Then, he forced a smile and shook his head. "Your name is Hiiro," he said slowly, "at least that's what it was the last time I checked."

Hiiro... Hiiro, Hiiro, Hiiro. That was his name, he'd have to remember that. No, wait, he knew that! Of course. It was the dead guy's name. The one who was assassinated and then the war started. There was a war, right? He... he fought in it, right?

"Can you repeat my name?" The man asked carefully, a hopeful look in his eyes.

Hiiro (that was his name, now, he'd have to remember that) frowned deeply, trying to remember. The man did tell him his name, didn't he? It was only a few moments ago... what was it again? Oh, yes.

"Ni—cole?" he asked weakly, and then shook his head, "No... it's Ni—co—lai..."

The man, Nicolai, nodded his head in approval. "Good, good. That's very good."

When he noticed the confused look in Hiiro's eyes, he explained: "It was a small test for your short term memory. You've been in a coma for over nine months, and even with the wonders of modern medicine, that still means some brain damage. The doctors couldn't tell me how bad, though."

Brain damage? Doctors? Doctor J? Was he behind all this? And what was it about a coma? It had been nine months? But... but... it felt as if barely a day had passed since... since what? He couldn't remember. In any case, not enough time had passed. It was too soon for him to return to reality. What was the point, anyway? What were they going to do with him now?

He closed his eyes, sighing tiredly. He didn't want to fight anymore...

"Hiiro," Nicolai spoke softly, "Can you look at me please?"

He opened his eyes and turned to the man. Nicolai was leaning above him, his face too near for comfort. Hiiro stared at him blankly, wondering what was it the man wanted him to see.

A moment passed in silence and Hiiro simply looked at the man's face, studying the wrinkles around his eyes. Nicolai's eyes were bright, a blue or a gray, and they were looking at him as if they expected something from him. What did they want? Were they accusing him of something? Did they want him to do something for them? To kill? To die? To know? To remember? To understand... what?

He thought about his past, present and future. He thought about his mother cooking tamagoyaki for breakfast, about Odin's pancakes and about how he was always late for dinner at the mess hall on the training grounds.

He thought about the first English word he had learned - 'toilet' - and wondered about the last remnants of Japanese he could still remember. He thought about how he used to play with toys, and was later handed a gun. He remembered all about laughing, crying, killing and dying.

A million things raced through his mind in a split of a second, like electricity, like everything was going haywire. A tidal wave of thought and emotion thundered through his head. From within the racket, a distant female voice sang to him:

"Donguri korokoro donburiko (An acorn rolled down and down,

O-ike ni hamatte saa taihen He suddenly fell into a pond.

Dojou ga detekite konnichi wa Then came the loaches,

Botchan issho ni asobimashou… Hi boy! Come play with us!)

 

Donguri korokoro yorokonde (The acorn enjoyed playing with

Shibaraku issho ni asonda ga them, but he soon began to cry,

Yappari o-yama ga koishii to I want to go back to the mountain.

Naite wa dojou wo komaraseta." The loaches didn't know what to do.)

The overload became too much. His brain short-circuited and his eyes slid shut.

Finally, there was some silence.

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It was raining outside the window. The skies were a dark, menacing gray and torrents of rain poured down to the earth. He stared at it from his seat by the kitchen table, his little legs swinging back and forth as his curious blue eyes drank the sight hungrily, fascinated by the rain.

A large tree towered outside the apartment window, swinging wildly with the wind. Suddenly, behind the tree, a flash of purple split the skies. A few seconds later, a loud sound rattled the window.

His eyes widened with wonder and he turned to look at the man standing by the stove, cooking. In his young eyes, the man was a giant, with bright blond hair and a grim face, and he never liked answering 'stupid childish questions.' Still, he had no one else to ask because mommy and daddy had gotten lost somewhere and never came back for him.

"Are wa nani?" he asked in a small, childish voice, "Bakuhatsu no?" (What was that? An explosion?)

The man, who was still cooking even when the weird purple thing made another sound, turned to him with a frown. "English please. Eigo de." (In English)

Another purple flash split the heavens. He pointed out at the window. "Are mono da." (That thing) He knew Odin would be angry with him for speaking in the wrong words, but he didn't know any other way of saying it.

The man sighed with annoyance. "That's lightning," he explained while he tended the food, "it's very common on Earth."

"Shikashi, bakuhatsu wo kiita." (But I heard an explosion!) he insisted. He thought for a moment and then added, "I hear the boom."

Odin served the food onto a plate. "That's thunder: it's the sound that two clouds make when they collide and make lightning," he clarified, and turned to serve the boy a plate full of spaghetti and meatballs before sitting down as well.

"Kumo ga... futsu—karu... oto da," (the sound of clouds colliding,) Odin said slowly, thoughtfully, as though it was difficult for him to think of the words he had to say, in order to help him understand.

Another lightening flashed.

"Tanudaru?" he asked.

Odin shook his head. "No, lightning." When the thunder rolled he added, "That's the thunder."

The boy listened to the thunder and nodded with understanding. He played with his food, rolling and unrolling the spaghetti on the fork. He began mumbling the new words he had learned. "Tandaru... ra—in—ti­n—gu..."

The man sighed in annoyance, "just eat your lunch - shizuka ni." (quietly)

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It was the sound of thunder that woke him from sleep. He could hear the rain pounding against the boat. The craft rocked strongly with the waves.

He opened his eyes, confused as to why he was on a boat. He was lying on his back, and so the first thing he saw was the ceiling above. There was a large note attached to it, reading: 'Your name is Hiiro. You woke up from a coma. You are on a boat with me, Nicolai. You're safe.'

He blinked, somewhat indifferently. The note seemed oddly out of place now that he remembered who and where he was. He wouldn't admit to himself that he needed the note in order to recall things.

Another rolling sound of thunder rattled the boat. He looked up and saw a skylight in the middle of the room. He could see rainclouds pouring heavy drops onto the window.

"Tandaru..." he mumbled to himself, his mind drifting somewhere in the past.

"I made you something to eat." Nicolai's voice came from behind as the man entered the room, carrying a tray. Hiiro blinked, shifted his gaze towards the man, and stared at him, baffled.

"No solids," Nicolai continued as he placed the tray on the other bed, "Just some soup." He turned to help Hiiro sit up, propping a pillow behind him. Hiiro leaned heavily against the cushion, finding it hard to sit straight on his own.

He frowned at a nagging feeling at the back of his head. Something felt out of place, maybe even himself.

Nicolai placed the tray on Hiiro's lap and handed him the spoon. "It's not too hot, so it's okay if you spill some."

Hiiro managed two or three spoonfuls before his hand was shaking too hard for him to continue. He didn't see the point in trying anyway, it required too much of him. His mind was switched-off, refusing to process anything, so he simply didn't care. He stared numbly ahead, while an old nursery rhyme played in his head. A woman was singing, but he couldn't recognize who she was. In his head, he sang along with her.

'Donguri korokoro donburiko... O-ike ni hamatte saa taihen...'

Nicolai took charge and began feeding him the rest of the soup.

Hiiro blinked, coming out of the haze in his mind, and turned to look at the man while he fed him. He couldn't even keep his head up straight and had to lean back against the pillow.

Nicolai sat by his side on the bed and placed a strong hand behind the teen's head to lift it up. Hiiro said nothing and simply allowed the man to support him.

Gradually, as he ate, some sense returned to the blankness in his mind. He shifted his eyes to look at the man next to him, as if seeing him for the first time. Feelings of anger and distrust filled him, and he tensed.

He wasn't sure if he could trust the man, he wasn't sure of anything at the moment. Everything was confusing, blurry and unreachable. He couldn't think straight, and often wandered off.

When he was finished eating, Nicolai quietly got up and prepared to clear the tray. Hiiro turned to look at him.

"Ore wo mita ka? Dare no meirie... ka?" (You took care of me? By whose... orders?)

Nicolai seemed surprised for a moment, then he frowned and finally nodded. "I told you before. Vice foreign minister Relena Darlian gave me the clearance."

Hiiro frowned. Did Nicolai just speak Japanese? Or did he ask the question in English? Or was it Japanese? Or... or... what was the man's answer again?

"You got cleavage to take care of me?"

Nicolai almost laughed, but seemed to catch himself before he did. "Clearance, yes."

'Clearance'... that's what he had said, right?

"Miss Darlian couldn't win against the people who wanted you taken off the machines. The doctors worked hard to make sure the damage to your brain would be minimal, but they still didn't give you much of a chance of waking up from the coma. You were semi-conscious for nearly three months, but then you slipped away again. Relena gave up, so I suggested that I take over. You've been here with me for about a month, shifting between a comatose state and consciousness."

Words. Words, words, words! Too many of them! What did he say? She gave up, Relena gave up on him? She... left him with this man? Why? Where were they? What was he going to do with him? Had he been kidnapped? Were they going to train him again? Will they force him to kill more people? No! No!!! He didn't want to kill anymore! He didn't want any more training! Couldn't he just keep his heart? Couldn't they just let him keep it for himself?! Why were they doing this to him again?! Who were they?! Where was he?! He had to get out of there! He had to get out! Now!

"Hanase! Let me go!" he burst out screaming, trying to fight his way out of the bed.

His outburst took Nicolai by surprise. Swiftly, he put the tray away and grabbed Hiiro by the arms. He had to struggle with the boy to remain on the bed. He was clearly hysteric and was trying to fight him off.

"Hiiro! Hiiro - calm down! I'm not going to hurt you! I took care of you all this time, remember?"

"Iya! Shinjirarenai zo! Hanase! " (No! I don't believe you! Let go of me!)

"Calm down! Hiiro! Hiiro! You're safe, it's okay. You're safe here with me."

His hysteria grew and he struggled, using all four limbs, trying to push and kick the man away. He knew he wasn't being himself, but he couldn't help it. There was such a mess going on inside his head, he couldn't sort himself out from the muddle.

"How do you expect me to trust you?! Who are you?! For all I know I've been kidnapped!"

"Hiiro, please, I'm only trying to help!"

"Shinjirarenai! Daremo ore wo kamawanai!" he screamed back, "Ore wo mita to ittemo, omea wo shinjinai! Anata wo shiranai! I won't kill for you! You can't make me! Korosu zo!!!" (I don't believe you! No one cares about me! ... Even if you say you took care of me, I don't trust you! I don't know you! … I'll kill you!)

Suddenly, he stilled, as if he'd been struck by lightning. His body froze stiffly in Nicolai's grip. He turned to look into man's eyes, and his own blue eyes narrowed slowly as he calmed. The transition was almost surreal. The hysteria slowly faded behind the layer of fog obscuring his mind. He slumped his shoulders, sighing. He simply didn't care anymore.

Noting that Hiiro had calmed, Nicolai carefully released him. He watched with worry as the teenager sunk into the pillows, apparently exhausted from the struggle. He allowed Hiiro a few silent moments to catch his breath and compose himself.

The teen released another long sigh, a troubled look in his eyes. "I apologize," he said quietly, turning his head to look the other way, "I don't know what came over me. I'm... not myself." He didn't even know who 'himself' was at the moment.

Nicolai sighed heavily as well. "Hiiro," he said softly, letting the matter drop, "If you don't trust me, I can arrange for you to speak with Relena."

By now, Hiiro felt completely indifferent. He really didn't care one way or the other. All he wanted was to sleep. It was as though countless electrical sparks were bouncing around in his head, buzzing and sizzling all around, making a racket. It was exhausting. They cut off his trains of thought and shifted his mind to places he had never visited before. He bounced back and forth between one thing and another, impossible emotions mixing into a hot, boiling, smoldering, burning, stinging vortex of nothing and everything at once. He was consumed by it, and yet he was left hollow.

"Hiiro?" Nicolai was still waiting for a response.

It was tiring to feel a million things at once. He needed rest, to clear his head and allow the sparks in his brain to quiet down. Closing his eyes, he turned his head towards the wall, and went to sleep.

Nicolai sighed and bowed his head. Quietly, he left the room.

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It was nighttime when Hiiro awoke. His head was buzzing and when he opened his eyes everything was in a haze. The world seemed to be reflected in a distorting mirror. Everything shifted, stretching and shrinking, until the world made sense again.

He had to get to his Gundam. There were battles to be fought. He had to end the war so he could finally end his life. He didn't want to keep living so much, it was too painful. Where did he stash Wing? Oh, yes, at the bottom of the sea. He needed to get there, to get to Wing before OZ found it. It should be easy enough, after all, he was on a boat.

But first things first. He needed to get out of bed.

Knowing that the enemy was near, Hiiro listened carefully for Nicolai moving about the boat. There was silence: he was probably sleeping. It was a perfect opportunity for him to escape.

After much effort he managed to stand by the bed, leaning on it for support. His legs felt a bit stronger now that he had eaten something. He opened the door and took a careful step into the kitchen.

Between the small kitchen area and lavatory door were a few steps that led into a living area. Hiiro looked up around him, seeing the front windshield of the boat was above the kitchen. All he could see was pitch black, because of the late hour.

He made his way up the few steps and stood in the living area. To his right were a steering wheel and a chair for the driver. There was also a computer console.

Hiiro climbed into the driver's seat, grateful to be sitting down. He looked out the window by his side, and saw that they were not at sea, but docked at a small marina.

He turned around to reexamine the boat. At the edge of the living room were two staircases. One led up to the deck, and the other led down, probably to another bedroom at the stern, where Nicolai would sleep. He could hear the man snoring.

He turned on the computer and waited for the navigation charts to come up. Examining them, Hiiro noted that they were in Ireland, traveling along the River Shannon. He frowned. That spoiled his plans. He had left Wing at sea... or a lake... somewhere... along... umm... It didn't matter. He could get there because the rivers always connected to the sea. It made perfect sense, no matter how illogical it was.

The window to his side was also a sliding door. Carefully, quietly, he slid it open and stepped onto the narrow pathway that ran along the sides of the boat. From there, it was an easy jump down to the pier.

The pier was wet with rain and shone under the moonlight. Hiiro looked around and saw many other boats mooring at the port. He wandered through the harbor, barefoot and wearing only pajama pants. He shivered in the cold Irish air, but it didn't register with his preoccupied brain.

Not a soul was awake and the only sound was that of the waves splashing against the boats and piers. He strolled leisurely along the marina, examining the various boats, all different shapes and sizes.

He stopped when he reached the far end of a long pier that stretched deeply into the river. There was nothing moored it and he could look around without having them block his view. In front of him the River Shannon flowed in a quiet black stream, wide and long, enormous.

Without giving the matter a second thought, Hiiro backed away a few steps, opened in a short run and dived straight into the freezing water.

The icy grip of the river sucked the breath straight out of him. His body became rigid with shock, but he had a mission to accomplish and no time to spare. He had to get to Zero before (no wait, it was Wing, wasn't it?) before OZ did!

He sunk a few times and forced himself to resurface, gasping for air. Splashing loudly, he swam as fast as he could into the black waters. Sinking and rising again and again, he carried on, determined to finish his mission.

A few meters away from the pier, the effort became too great. He was losing control over his arms and legs. It was too cold. He flapped his arms frantically in an effort to remain afloat. There wasn't much strength left in him. He began to swallow water and cough, sinking helplessly into the river.

He was drowning, sinking deeper and deeper into the pit, the black water engulfing him, refusing to let go. At first he tried to struggle, but it pulled him down by force. The air ran out of his lungs. He opened his mouth in a silent scream, the last bubbles escaping from his body. The water poured into him, filling his lungs. He stopped struggling, tired of fighting, and simply allowed the river to pull him down.

Looking down into the darkness, he could see a distant glow. Two blurry orbs of light glowed in the depth of the pit. The orbs were a shimmering bright green. He could recognize that light anywhere. Those were Zero's eyes, looking up at him from the depths. He stared into the mechanical giant's eyes and felt them penetrate his soul. They were angry, those eyes, angry for being abandoned, discarded when unneeded.

In a way, Zero and he were much alike. Both of them were tools of war, built and designed for fighting, killing, destroying lives and winning battles. Perhaps it was fitting that he would end his life at the side of his Gundam, both lying forgotten under dark waters. With profound resignation, Hiiro decided to give in to the river, and die along with his Gundam, along with his past.

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To be continued...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To hear the song go to (remove spaces): http:// youtube .com / watch?v=ttLIUO3VH0M