Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Lest We Forget ❯ One ( Chapter 1 )

Lest We Forget

By Anne

Author's notes: This fic is part of the 'Outlasting Time' arc, which is obviously being written way out of order *grins. For more information and to read the other stories in the series check out the following http://www.angelfire.com/ab7/shadesandechoes/outlastingtime.html

Disclai mer:

Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency. I promise to return the boys when I'm finished.

Alicia Bloom Winner and Michael Maxwell-Yuy belong to their respective parents, and as said parents are ex Gundam pilots and a tad overprotective, ask before you borrow.

Mr Fluffy appears courtesy of Maureen.

Thanks to: Maureen, Raletha and Bast for feedback, encouragement and beta reading comments. Extra note to Maureen: yes the nagging worked, here's part one of /your/ fic.

Special thanks also goes to Ash for her wonderful Arabian/English dictionary.

/Abb/ means 'father' and /hadeeya/ translates as 'gift.'

Feedback to : anneo@paradise.net.nz

******

AC 217

Alicia felt herself grow red as twenty pairs of eyes focused their gaze towards her. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, wishing she could crawl into some hidden part of herself and convince them she was merely a figment of their imagination. All those kids concentrating on her and what she was about to say scared her to death. She'd never been one for public speaking, often envying Abb for his ability to convince people that his opinion was worth listening to. She sighed, not for the first time wishing she had just kept her comment to herself and not shared the information she knew wasn't common knowledge.

"Would you like to repeat your last statement, Alicia?" It was difficult to ignore the sarcastic tone in the teacher's voice. "And do I have to remind you that we are studying history, which from my understanding involves facts, not flights of fancy. Your imagination might be useful for a class in creative writing, but not here. Not in my class."

Alicia strengthened her grip on the side of her desk and willed herself to stay calm. Daddy manages to project calmness even when he's upset. So can I. She twirled her finger around a stray lock of brown hair, wishing not for the first time that she'd inherited more than just her hair colour from him. Sometimes it felt as though she'd missed out on the best of their combined abilities. She was a real mixture of both Winner and Bloom, with Daddy's colouring and build, Abb's eyes and inner struggle to repress emotions, a curse that seemed to come hand in hand with empathic abilities. "I said, Miss Harris, that my parents piloted Gundams during the war."

Her statement was followed by a silence broken only by several muted sniggers from the rest of the class.

Miss Harris pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose and frowned. Alicia didn't have to be empathic to sense the annoyance radiating from the teacher in great waves. It washed against her shielding, buffeting the strong barriers she'd learnt to erect around herself since early childhood.

"Just because evidence suggests the surname of pilot 04 is the same of your own does not give you the right to..to….tell such untruths."

"But my father was pilot 04," Alicia began to protest, but stopped as Miss Harris shot another glare in her direction.

"Don't give me your cheek, Miss Winner. Even though the names of the pilots became public a few years after the war, no one knows who exactly they are. If you paid attention in class you would know that." The teacher glanced at the book in front of her, and quoted. "The names of the pilots were thought to be Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner and Chang Wufei. However, it is not clear whether these were merely aliases used to mislead those who might seek revenge against them for their actions during the war. Further proof of this theory can be seen in the fact that pilot 01 used the name of the original Heero Yuy, assassinated years before, and that 04 used the name of the heir of the pacifist Winner family. It is also extremely unlikely that Trowa Barton is the true name of pilot 03 as the Barton foundation…"

Alicia interrupted again. "Uncle Duo told me that Uncle Heero…" Her voice trailed off as the sniggering of her class mates grew in volume. She rose to her feet, unable to keep the anger out of her voice. "Why are you so damn sure I'm lying? You don't know anything about my family. And it's obvious you know even less about the war and the Gundam pilots."

Miss Harris turned white, and when she spoke her voice was several degrees higher in pitch than it had previously been. "That's enough. I'm the teacher here." She pointed one finger towards the door of the classroom. "Principal's office. Now."

******

Alicia banged the front door behind her, throwing her school bag against the wall as she tried to contain her anger. "Poop and pox on them," she muttered under her breath. "Stupid, stupid people." Why had they been so sure she hadn't been telling the truth? Sure, she knew her parent's identities weren't exactly common knowledge but it wasn't something they'd kept hidden either. If people asked, they always told the truth. People had a right to know the truth, Abb had always told her.

"Alicia? Are you okay, hadeeya?" Abb's voice came from the kitchen, where, judging from the smells permeating the house, he was preparing dinner. It was Monday, she remembered. Abb always cooked on Mondays because it was Daddy's day at the animal shelter. Her parents had always made of point of making sure one of them was home when she arrived from school, often juggling their timetables to do so. From what she gathered, neither of them had enjoyed what they referred to as ' a normal childhood' so they tried to ensure she didn't lack in what they had missed out on.

On the odd occasion something had come up, she'd come home to find one of her uncles waiting for her. She grinned, despite her bad mood, remembering the time Uncle Duo had actually come down to the school to pick her up. Abb and Daddy had arrived home to find them playing poker on the kitchen table, and for some reason hadn't been as impressed with the game as she had. Uncle Duo had winked, told her she had a great future ahead of her in gambling and had offered to teach her to pick locks the next time he visited. Daddy had glared at him, that glare threatening death and dismemberment which he usually reserved for the few boys who had ever asked her out.

"Fine. I'm fine." The tone in her voice suggested anything but and Alicia knew her father wouldn't be fooled. He knew her all too well, and of course the bond she shared with both her fathers didn't help when it came to keeping secrets. Sometimes she almost wished it didn't exist. Much as she loved them, she was getting to that age when she needed more of her own space. The shielding Abb had taught her when they had first discovered her inherited talent worked most of the time, but at other times, especially now when it was needed the most, it didn't seem to make any difference at all.

She headed towards the kitchen, meeting her father half way. "What happened at school today?" he asked, concern reflected in his expression.

"Nothing."

Abb reached out one hand and placed it gently on her shoulder, using the other to turn her head so their eyes met. "What happened at school today?" he repeated. "You were upset, you still are." His tone softened. "I'd like to think you could talk to Daddy and I about anything. It's easier to deal with problems if you share them." A momentary look of something Alicia could only describe as pain, fleetingly crossed his face, then was gone as fast as it had come.

She frowned.

Even though she and her fathers had a close relationship there was a still a lot about their past that they didn't like to discuss. She knew Abb suffered from occasional nightmares, even though she was careful to make sure not to let on she was aware of it.

She still remembered the first time as though it were yesterday.

******

AC 209

Waking groggily, with the slight pain in her chest she'd come to associate with her empathy, or her spaceheart as Abb referred to it, she switched on the small nightlight, hoping it would help to dispel the darkness and despair threatening to overwhelm her from within. From somewhere outside the safety of her bed she could hear someone crying, the sobbing echoing the tears running down her own cheeks as she subconsciously reached out towards whoever was hurting. She gripped her chest, pulling herself into a small ball, trying to convince herself she was dreaming, but knowing she wasn't.

Where was Abb? Where was Daddy? Usually they would be by her side by now, pulling her into an embrace, holding her until the bad feelings went away. Leaving her own bed, she tip toed to her parents' bedroom to seek out the security she knew they could provide.

As she neared their door, she could hear Daddy's voice, that soothing calming tone he used when she was upset. Who was he talking to? Where was Abb?

Alicia paused, wondering if she should go downstairs and find Abb. If Daddy was busy looking after whoever was crying…

She whimpered, the noise escaping her lips before she could prevent it, her hand clutching her nightgown in an attempt to stop the pain. Daddy, she needed Daddy. Whoever was in there with him would have to share. After all she was his daughter, and her fathers had always told her to come to them if she was in trouble, not matter what.

She padded closer, her slippers echoing as they flip flopped against the polished wooden floorboards. "Daddy," she called, as she pushed against the door with her weight, entering the room suddenly as it opened faster than she had expected.

"Alicia?" Daddy's head came up, surprise replacing the pain she could feel coming from him. He was trying to radiate calmness the same way he'd tried to teach her but he wasn't succeeding. Even through her shielding she could feel whoever was in the room with them sending out waves of loss, terror and guilt. She knew what guilt was, it was how she felt when she was naughty and Daddy and Abb got upset. There was a slight movement in the bed next to him, followed by a moan. "It's okay, Cat, I'm here."

"I'm sorry." Alicia felt herself grow cold, as Abb's voice came from under the covers, followed by muffled sobs. Daddy stroked one hand gently through blond locks, laying a kiss on his forehead. "Trowa!" Abb pulled away from Daddy's touch, his voice rising to a scream . "Heero! Let go of me! Trowa's dying!"

Alicia reached out towards her father, then took a step back, suddenly feeling unsure. Why did Abb think Uncle Heero was trying to hurt him? Daddy wasn't dying. Daddy was going to be all right. She sniffled loudly, her fingers winding around her hair over and over as she tried to work out what was going on. "Daddy, I'm scared."

Abb writhed under the sheets, struggling against some imaginary enemy, against Daddy's attempts to calm him. "It's okay, Cat. I'm here. I'm here." Daddy put one strong arm around Abb, using the weight of his body to try and stop him hurting himself.

"Kill me, Heero! Please! You've got to hurry and save Trowa!" Alicia jumped and whimpered, eyes darting around the room as she tried to find something, anything comforting to hold onto. Mr Fluffy sat alone, looking as lost as she did. Maybe if she held onto him, it would help.

Abb sat bolt upright, with another sudden scream. "Trowa!" His forehead was damp, tears streaming down his face even though his eyes were still closed. Daddy shifted, holding him close, rocking him back and forth whispering to him, trying to calm him, while Alicia sat at the end of the bed doing the same for Mr Fluffy.

"It's okay, Cat." He repeated the phrase over and over. "I'm here. It's just a dream." Parents weren't supposed to do this. Abb always had the right words to say to her when she had nightmares, always knew how to scare the monsters away. How could this be happening to him? Parents didn't get scared. They just didn't.

"Daddy?"

What's happening?

"Daddy?"

What's wrong? Why would Abb want to die and leave them? He loved her and Daddy.

"Daddy? I'm scared." Her voice rose in pitch, as he reached out pulling her close, trying to calm both of them. Alicia clung to him with one arm, tears rolling down her cheeks. "My heart hurts. Stop it hurting. I don't want it to hurt. I don't want Abb to hurt. Stop him crying. Please."

"Please."

"It's okay, Alicia. I don't want him to cry either." Daddy stroked Abb's brow over and over, whispering calm words, trying to project calm feelings. After what seemed hours, but she later realised had been more like minutes, she began to feel better as Abb's ragged breathing evened out, and he went limp in Daddy's arms.

The monsters torturing him had decided to go away.

"Do you want Mr Fluffy to look after him?" She held out the old beloved soft toy timidly, trying to help in the only way she knew how. Daddy gave her a small smile, though his eyes still looked sad, and he tucked the rabbit in next to Abb, bending to kiss his husband gently on the cheek before leading Alicia from the room.

"Why was Abb crying?" Alicia shivered, and Daddy picked her up and carried her back to bed. A thought struck her as she remembered how she and Michael had upset their parents the day before when they'd found a pile of old newspaper clippings. Michael, being nine and better at reading, had told her they were about the 'war' and the 'preventers' but Uncle Heero had taken the papers away from them before they could find out anything else. "Was it something I did?"

Daddy turned to face her, and she noticed his eyes were wet, as though he were trying not to cry. What was wrong? Daddy didn't cry, only she was supposed to do that. Abb cried sometimes, she knew that, even though he tried not to do it in front of her. "Daddy?" she asked again, reaching into the pocket of her dressing gown for a hanky to wipe his face.

"It's okay, Alicia." He placed both hands on her shoulders, and planted a kiss on her forehead. "It's nothing you've done. You've made us both very happy, don't you ever forget that." There was a pause. "Something happened a long time ago…" Daddy stopped, as though not sure what to say.

Alicia nodded, brushing one small hand through his hair, lifting the bit which always wanted to cover one eye so she could see him properly, all of him. "You don't have to tell me. It's okay." She sniffled slightly, using the damp hanky to blow her own nose, then crawled back under her covers, hugging the old pink rabbit Uncle Duo and Uncle Heero had given her when she was little.

"Would you like me to stay?" Daddy was still worried about Abb, she could feel it with her spaceheart, but she could be brave. After all she was seven now and tonight Abb needed him more.

Alicia shook her head, and pulled the rabbit closer. "I've got Little Fluffy, you go back and look after Abb." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I know he's got Mr Fluffy, but I think…he needs you more." She wriggled under the covers further, and closed her eyes. "Goodnight, Daddy. Love you."

His lips touched the top of her head, and he ran his fingers through her hair. "We love you too, Alicia." He paused at the door, before turning off the light. "Thank you."

*******

"Alicia?" Abb's voice brought her back to the present with a jolt. She hadn't thought of that night for years and wasn't sure of the reason for the sudden trip down memory lane.

"Sorry, I was just…" Her voice tailed off, reflecting her uncertainty of how to put the incident into words. Maybe he was right? Maybe sharing would help. After all in an indirect way both he and Daddy were part of what had happened. Alicia felt her temper rise again as she remembered what the teacher had said. How dare she? "Miss Harris at school. She….she didn't believe me when I told her you and Daddy were Gundam pilots." The words tumbled out over each other as her father led her out into the kitchen and sat her at the table. "It was awful, the class was laughing at me. I could tell."

Abb's concern changed to something quite different and Alicia wondered for a moment if she had done the right thing. She'd seen it before, the sudden quietness, the way his eyes flashed momentarily, his lips thinning as his mind calculated the strategy he would take against those who had dared upset those he cared about. Her father didn't get pissed off, to coin a phrase of Uncle Duo's, very often, but this was the expression which usually preceded it. Part of her did an inner high five as she thought of Miss Harris and what would happen once Quatre Winner discovered what she'd done to his daughter. Then immediately she felt guilty for having had the desire in the first place.

Abb raised one blond eyebrow. "Guilt?" he asked. "Am I missing something?" He walked over to the bench and flicked the switch on the jug, reaching into the cupboard for the container of hot chocolate. "Maybe we should start from the beginning. Like why the information that Daddy and I are…" He corrected himself, "were Gundam pilots became a topic for classroom discussion."

Abb never missed anything. Alicia made a mental note to herself to watch her empathic shielding. Not that she wanted to keep secrets from her parents, but there were certain things teenagers just didn't share. Her fathers were cool, but…they were still her fathers. She knew they must have been fifteen once. Surely they understood.

Her father filled two mugs with the hot chocolate, keeping a close eye on her as he kept talking. "Take a minute to think over the situation, then we'll talk," he told her, leaning over the table to ruffle her hair in an affectionate gesture, as she tried to collect her thoughts. "Okay?"

He gave her a quick hug to reinforce his support before his eyes darted towards the door. A warm smile crossed his lips and within a few minutes she heard the front door open, then close again. "In here, Trowa," he called, grabbing a third mug from the cupboard and the box of tiny marshmallows.

Daddy entered the kitchen, shrugging off his jacket as he turned on the tap over the sink to wash his hands. Abb's smile grew wider, and there was a twinkle in his eyes. "Good day?" he asked, running a hand gently across Daddy's face, then licking his finger. "Hmmm, I see you've been sprayed with milk while you were feeding the lion cubs again. Might have to help you get rid of that later."

Daddy leaned forward, sampling Abb's mouth in a brief kiss. "I can't taste it. Maybe you're mistaken." Their lips met again, the second kiss lasting a good minute as Abb put the cup in his left hand on the bench and focused his attention on proving his point. Daddy's arm snaked out, catching Abb in an embrace and holding him close. "Almost tasted it that time," he remarked. "Maybe third time lucky?"

Alicia rolled her eyes, guessing what was coming. Did all kids have to put up with their parents flirting the way she did? She discreetly turned away, concentrating on counting the number of tiles on the floor. Not to her surprise there weren't any more than there had been the last time. Tiles didn't tend to change in number overnight.

She coughed discreetly, then turned, just in time to see Daddy and Abb come up for air. "Bedroom's upstairs, second on the left," she pointed out helpfully. Much as she rejoiced in the fact her parents were so very much in love, unlike quite a few of her friends who related stories of living in domestic war zones, at times it was nothing short of embarrassing.

"Thanks. We know where to find it." Daddy's mouth turned up in a minute smirk, as he ran his fingers through Abb's hair in a gesture of affection.

Abb interlinked his fingers through Daddy's, pausing momentarily as their eyes met, then moved away to rescue the hot drinks before following Daddy to the table.

Daddy took a seat, sipped his drink then caught her off guard with the sudden change of subject. "What happened at school today?" Why was it so difficult to keep secrets in this place? Had her emotions been running so high that Daddy had picked up on them as well?

Her fathers exchanged another glance and she decided to jump in before her good intentions deserted her. "We're studying the war," she began, watching them carefully to gauge their reaction.

Daddy raised one eyebrow.

Abb said nothing, but she could feel a shifting in his empathic shields, even as Daddy shifted closer towards him.

They both waited patiently for her to continue. "The history books are stupid, and Miss Harris thinks she has all the answers when she knows nothing."

"Alicia…." Be nice. The unspoken warning in Abb's voice came across loud and clear, even though she could tell he could see how annoyed she was. Part of him sympathised, she knew him well enough to know that, but the other went through the motions of doing the parenting thing.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "Anyway, we were studying the war and Miss Harris was rambling on about how most people our parents' age could still remember when the Libra was about to hit the Earth and how Relena Peacecraft was instrumental in saving the day."

Daddy and Abb glanced at each other. "That's an interesting interpretation of events," Daddy commented. "Go on…" His voice had taken on that calm even quality, as he weighed up the information she was sharing.

Alicia cleared her throat nervously, and twisted her hair around one finger. "She then went on to tell us how the Eve Wars were seen as many as a romance story, with the actual war as the backdrop of the love affair between Queen Relena and Heero Yuy, the Gundam pilot."

Daddy reached out a hand to pat Abb on the back, as his hot chocolate went down the wrong way. Abb sat coughing, tears running down his face as he struggled to regain his composure. "Allah," he spluttered. "I haven't heard that one before." He wiped his eyes with his handkerchief. "I hope like hell Duo and Heero haven't either. Where do these so called historians dig up this garbage?"

"Obviously from the people who weren't there," Daddy commented dryly. "Alicia," he asked, "have you got a copy of your text with you?" Alicia nodded, feeling confused, at her fathers' reaction.

"Uncle Heero and Relena were….er……friends during the war," Abb explained, a slight smile on his face. "I suspect the historians would be very interested to know that four of the five Gundam pilots were gay. It kind of blows the romance angle out of the water, and puts a whole new spin on things." He shook his head. "People only see what they want to. Mind you none of us did anything to dispel any of the rumours flying around after the war. Sometimes it's safer that way." A slight grimace crossed his features, as his eyes grew distant, gazing not at his family but instead backwards into the past. "We made too many enemies, Trowa," he reached out and ran his hand tenderly over his husband's before taking a sip from his drink. "Too many people tried to get revenge through the people we loved. No wonder we let the historians write their version and didn't interfere. It seemed the right thing to do at the time, but now…" His voice trailed off.

Daddy finished his sentence for him. "Now you're not so sure…" Alicia noticed one long finger rub absently against Abb's wedding band, as he moved closer in an almost protective stance. When he spoke again his voice was firm, reassuring. "It was the only option at the time, especially considering what we'd just been through."

Alicia frowned, sure she was missing something, but chose to ignore it, instead filing in the 'things she really didn't know about her fathers' section of her mind. One day, she thought, she'd learn the truth, but only when they were ready to share, not before. She only hoped that day would come sooner rather than later "Do you want me to get the text book, Daddy?" she asked.

Daddy nodded. "Please. Then you can tell us what else happened. I suspect there is more than this than you've told us so far."

Alicia ran from the room to where she'd thrown her bag and rummaged through it quickly, flipping through the discs in her bag until she found the correct one. She hooked her laptop under one arm, and re-entered the kitchen, not surprised to notice the conversation suddenly come to a halt as she came within clear earshot.

"So what else happened?" Abb wanted to know. "You still haven't told us when the fact we were Gundam pilots entered the conversation." She'd had a feeling that would be next. Not answering the question beforehand wouldn't mean that she'd be able to avoid it indefinitely. Now she'd started on the story of her fun day at school she might as well tell the whole thing, warts and all.

She tried to sound apologetic even though she wasn't. "I wasn't going to say anything, but the rest of the class kept going on about how cool the war was, how much fun it must have been." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And I couldn't let them think that. I've heard you talking. I've heard my uncles talking. Then a couple of the boys started saying things like….being a Gundam pilot must have been so cool. 'Wow, killing all those bad guys. They must have loved it.'"

Abb shook his head sadly. "We never loved it. We only did it because there was no choice, because someone had to protect those who couldn't protect themselves." He paused. "Duo told me once that he should be the only one to fight, the only one to suffer. We all lost a part of ourselves for every life we took. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get that back."

Alicia interupted a little too sharply; the tone in her father's voice was scaring her with its intensity. "I told them they were wrong. That they couldn't know because they weren't there. Billy Hunter asked me why I was the big authority on the subject, what gave me the right to be 'Miss Know-it-all'"

Daddy said softly. "And you told him it was because we were Gundam pilots." There was a hint of pride in his voice, and all doubts in Alicia's mind that she'd done the wrong thing shattered under the umbrella of approval she felt coming from them both.

"Trowa?" Abb had picked the info disc off the table and was flipping it over and over in his hands, a sure sign his mind was heading into overdrive.

Uh oh. No, you can't be serious.

"Hmmmm?" Daddy gazed at Abb, green eyes met turquoise, and something flashed between them.

Oh crap.

Alicia knew that look, that unspoken signal. Once the two were united in a common goal her chances of halting their decided course of action was non-existent. She mentally crossed her fingers, hoping her suspicions were wrong. Much as she appreciated their support, this was not the way she wanted events to precede.

Abb's voice was firm, suggesting in its tone that she would be wasting her time attempting to disagree with his decision. "I think it's time we paid a visit to Miss Harris and corrected this misinformation, don't you?"

Alicia groaned aloud. This was going to be nothing short of embarrassing. Having your parents coming in to talk to your teacher at her age just didn't happen. What did you expect they would do? asked a small inner voice, and she mentally blew a raspberry at it.

Daddy nodded in agreement. "I suspect the contents of this disc might be quite interesting." There was a glint in his eye, something Alicia couldn't put her finger on; one of the rare glimpses of the soldier he'd once been. "These children should know the facts. Romanticising war is dangerous."

Abb nodded, stood and put his arms around her. "We're not doing this to embarrass you, Alicia. If these kids don't know the truth, what's to stop the next generation repeating the same mistakes? You did the right thing, standing up in class. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

She returned the hug, taking comfort in the thought which, as it decided to enter her head unannounced, made her realise things could be a whole lot worse.

Imagine if Michael's parents had discovered the fictitiousness story of the wartime romance between Uncle Heero and the true heroine of the Eve Wars….

Yes, her best friend's decision not to share the reason he'd flunked out of History had been a wise one. Both for his family and the continued smooth running of the school. As Michael had so poetically put it at the time - 'would you risk pissing off your parents by telling them that recorded history shows one of them being in love with someone else?'

No way.

Oh Crap.

She'd forgotten that was on there.

Alicia put her hand out for the disc. "Maybe it's better that I just tell you what's on it. Save you the trouble of wading through some of the stuff you don't need to bother with. All the facts and figures….the boring…"

Daddy shook his head, loaded it into the machine and began to read. "Quatre…" he said, a peculiar choking noise coming from his throat. "I don't believe this…"

Abb released his hold on Alicia, ran his eye over the text, and turned pale. Oops, she thought. Too late. She glanced over their shoulders quickly to confirm her suspicions and quietly left the room before they read the rest of the article.

'Heero Yuy wasn't the only Gundam pilot to find love during the war….'

*******

TBC