Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Lest We Forget ❯ Two ( Chapter 2 )

Lest We Forget

By Anne

Author's notes: This fic is part of the 'Outlasting Time' arc, which is obviously being written way out of order *grins. For more information and to read the other stories in the series check out the following http://www.angelfire.com/ab7/shadesandechoes/outlastingtime.html

Disclaimer:

Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency. I promise to return the boys when I'm finished.

Alicia Bloom Winner and Michael Maxwell-Yuy belong to their respective parents, and as said parents are ex Gundam pilots and a tad overprotective, ask before you borrow.

Mr Fluffy appears courtesy of Maureen.

Thanks to: Raletha for beta reading, encouragement and long chats on AIM in the wee small hours of the morning (my time) and first thing in the morning (her time). She was a great source of information, especially re chanelling a certain character ;) *hands over tissue to wipe fangirl drool.

Also to Maureen and Bast for feedback, encouragement and beta reading comments.

Dedication : This one's for Maureen, it's her fic in exchange for /Accelerando A Piacere/, which I love.

Special thanks also goes to Ash for her wonderful Arabian/English dictionary.

/Abb/ means 'father' and /hadeeya/ translates as 'gift.'

Feedback to : anneo@paradise.net.nz

******

Chapter Two

"Are you sure you need to do this?" Alicia asked for the tenth time that morning, as Daddy parked the car. Her fathers' eyes met, as she bent to retrieve her school bag from the back seat and Abb stifled a small smile.

"Yes. Now stop worrying. We'll try to make this as painless as possible." He glanced around the school grounds as the three of them walked down the long driveway towards the main block housing her classroom. Abb paused at the bottom step, and held one hand across his brow to shade his eyes from the bright sun, as he took in the surrounding trees. The wind ruffled his hair, blowing a few stray locks across his face, as he closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the moment in an almost childlike awe. "I'll never get used to this, after growing up on the colonies. Science just can't imitate nature to this degree." He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the crisp morning air. "It makes it all worth while, doesn't it? What we did."

Daddy nodded his agreement before his gaze settled on group of younger children playing in the group of trees by the front entrance, and Alicia felt something akin to regret and sadness coming from him. "Were we ever that young, Cat?" He asked the question so softly that she suspected hadn't been meant to overhear.

Abb's moved closer, placing a hand on Daddy's shoulder. It was a simple gesture but Alicia could sense the closeness, the shared pain between them, as Abb offered comfort in the only way open to him in such a public place. Even though most people were accepting these days of same sex relationships, there were still a few who weren't. Coupling that with the fact that Daddy was a very private person, they tended to be careful about displaying their affection in full view of others.

At home, or among close friends, such as her uncles, it was a different story. She still wasn't sure what the story was behind some kiss Abb and Uncle Duo had shared way back when, but it was something Daddy brought up on occasion to keep her uncle in line when his teasing and wolf whistles got out of hand.

"None of us had what these kids take for granted," Abb replied, following Daddy's gaze. He blinked as though waking from a dream, or maybe a memory, and glanced at his pocket watch. "We'd better hurry if we want to catch Miss Harris before school starts."

Alicia nodded. That line of reasoning she agreed with, totally. This ordeal was going to be bad enough without others learning of it so that they could tease her later. She could just imagine that Billy Hunter dork now if he found out. 'Know it all Winner got her daddy to come to school and talk to the teacher. '

"Hey! Uncle Cat, Uncle Tro, wait up." That voice could only belong to one person. Michael waved a greeting, nearly losing the bag slung over his shoulder in the process, as he skidded to a halt. Intense blue eyes met hers in an unspoken question and she nodded, then shrugged.

Abb sighed. "Is there anything that goes on in our house that you don't know about, Michael?"

Oops. Obviously the two-hour phone call to her friend last night hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Nope." Michael grinned, then his tone turned serious. "You aren't really going to talk to Miss Harris, right?" Alicia could tell at a glance what was going through his mind, and so by the look on her father's faces, could they.

"You failed this class when you took it two years ago?" Daddy got straight to the point, as usual. "Was it because your point of view differed to that of the teacher's?"

Michael shrugged. "Something like that. Anyway it's in the past." He hesitated. "You're not going to mention this to Dad and Otosan?"

Abb's voice was soft, but firm. "I can't promise that, Michael." His mouth turned up in a small smile. "It will be okay. Probably they'll be more upset about the fact you let them think you failed the class because you didn't care enough to work hard."

"You knew?"

Abb shook his head. "I knew you weren't giving the real reason, and so did they. But they figured you'd share when you were ready." He stopped, as though collecting his thoughts to continue, then noticed they were at Alicia's classroom. "We can talk later if you'd like, okay?"

Michael shook his head, his normally bubbly personality more subdued than usual. "Nah, it's alright, Uncle Quatre. I think it's something I need to handle on my own, with my dads. Something I need to fix, but thanks for the offer." He ruffled Alicia's hair with his fingers, ignoring Daddy's glare, then broke into his normal grin. "See you later, kid. Have fun." Then he was gone, and all she could see was his mop of brown hair disappearing around the corner of the corridor as he raced to his own classroom in time to start the school day.

"I sometimes wonder if there's any Heero in him at all," Daddy commented shaking his head. "At least ninety per cent Maxwell, there's no mistaking him as Duo's son."

Abb let out a small laugh. "Oh, the Yuy genes are just as strong - they surface when needed. I've seen enough over the years to know that." He pushed open the classroom door, and entered, eyes darting around for the teacher they'd come to see.

Miss Harris stood in front of the whiteboard, scribbling over it in a black pen. She turned at the sudden creak of the door, and smiled. "Good morning. How can I help you?"

Alicia clenched her hands by her side, annoyed at how the teacher always put on an act when other adults were present. Hopefully, this was going to be just as painful for Miss Harris as it was going to be for her. "These are my parents, Miss Harris."

The teacher's eyes shifted from one to the other, as she unsuccessfully tried to mask her surprise. Winner one, teacher zero, thought Alicia. Bad Miss Harris, you haven't done your homework on my family background.

Abb stepped forward, hand outstretched, the polite but luke warm tone in his voice suggesting her reaction had been duly noted. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Harris. I'm Quatre Raberba Winner, and this is my husband, Trowa." Alicia tried to keep the smirk off her face as he emphasised the word husband. Uh oh. Miss Harris was about to learn that this was one of the sure fire ways of pissing off her father.

Miss Harris hesitated, took the proffered hand, shook it, and then nodded a greeting at Daddy. He nodded back, but said nothing, instead opting to fix her with his one visible eye as he left Abb to do the talking.

"What can I do for you, Mr Winner?" Her gaze shifted momentarily onto Alicia, then back towards her father, not even bothering to put down the marker in her hand or offer them a seat.

Abb cleared his throat, then got straight to the point. "I believe there was some kind of misunderstanding yesterday during History…"

Miss Harris cut across his words before he could continue. "I don't know what Alicia has told you, but she has yet to learn that I like to stick to the facts in my class."

Abb raised one eyebrow, and when he spoke again the tone in his voice had dropped several degrees. "And what makes you so sure that my daughter wasn't sticking 'to the facts'?" He exchanged a glance with Daddy, then continued. "From what I gather no untruths were told; in fact we are proud of her for standing up for her beliefs and attempting to set the record straight."

Miss Harris snorted, her knuckles growing white as she strengthened her grip around the thin marker pen. "Your daughter, Mr Winner, seems to be under the illusion that because you share the same surname, you were one of the Gundam pilots during the war." She pushed her glasses up her nose with her free hand, in a gesture that seemed to suggest, 'try and give me a satisfactory answer to that one.'

Alicia bit back a giggle; Daddy put a warning hand on her shoulder, and shook his head. Abb will handle this. She counted to ten slowly, then settled herself on one of the small student desks. Might as well be comfortable while watching the fireworks and the fun that would follow. Abb had had a lot of experience with stupid people; after all he hadn't been CEO of Winner Enterprises for years without knowing how to handle people like this. Miss Harris would wonder what had hit her.

"We are…were… both Gundam pilots." Abb's answer was short and to the point. His eyes flashed but other than that he showed no outward sign of his true emotion.

Miss Harris, in contrast, was giving an interesting imitation of a fish out of water. She swallowed a few times, then her skin tone started to turn red, before she let out a small artificial laugh. "Oh come on, Mr Winner. We've had our little joke." She ran an eye over him, shaking her head sadly.

Daddy tensed, and moved closer, obviously not impressed with the reaction. Not a good idea to insult Abb in front of Daddy. Miss Harris was in deep trouble, with any luck. Alicia crossed her fingers, wondering where they would hide the body.

"Mr Winner is quite serious," he said. "He is…was 04 and I was 03." He reached into his trouser pocket and removed his wallet, slipping out a familiar photo and placing it on the desk. Miss Harris would have no choice but to believe her now. Even though they were obviously much younger, there was no mistaking the likenesses of her parents, standing in front of their Gundams with the other pilots. "During the war I used the name Trowa Barton."

The slight inflection in his voice made Alicia shiver, and she noticed not for the first time her parents' tendency to use the present tense, then correct it. Come to think of it, she'd heard her uncles do the same thing. She frowned. But the war had been years ago, why would they?

Abb turned his head towards her, his expression unreadable and the feeling she detected from him equally unreadable. It was familiar but the reason why was just out of reach when she searched her memory. She slammed down her empathic shields, trying to ignore it, speaking out while he was distracted. "I told you I was telling the truth, Miss Harris," she said triumphantly, unable to resist getting her victory across.

Abb shot her another look, this time of disapproval, and she turned away, feeling guilty for the cheap shot she taken against the teacher. There was no way she could have expected this answer. Nah, she decided with a sudden change of heart. Poop and pox. She should have believed me in the first place, then none of this would have happened.

Miss Harris had gone from red to white, then she sat down suddenly in her chair, realising her earlier assumptions had been totally off the mark. When she spoke her voice was smooth, in an attempt to correct her earlier mistake. "I'm sorry, Mr Winner. I just presumed…" She blinked rapidly. "After all you don't look old enough to have done what you claim."

There was a sadness and regret in Abb's voice. "We were fifteen," he said quietly. "That's old enough to kill and ..." He paused, and Daddy continued for him.

"It's dangerous to assume information about something or someone when you don't have all the facts." His voice was calm and controlled as it always was in public, but she could sense a reflection in his heart of what she'd heard in Abb's voice. Daddy felt the same regret and sadness, but he was better at concealing his emotions.

Could all these things they never talked about be connected with the war? Was that why they were so insistent on coming to talk to Miss Harris?

Miss Harris scrolled down on the screen on her desk before speaking, and when she did there was a degree of surprise in her voice. "You introduced yourself as Quatre Raberba Winner. Does this mean what I think it does?"

Abb nodded. "History is correct on that point, yes." He smiled sadly. "I suppose I should be surprised they actually got our names right, considering a lot of everything else they proclaimed as the truth was far from it." He leaned over her shoulder and read aloud, shaking his head. "'04 used the name of the heir of the pacifist Winner family.' Sometimes it's easier to hide the truth in plain view. I used the name because it is my name."

Miss Harris nodded vaguely, then frowned. Her eye ran down the page further, she glanced between Abb and Daddy, but said nothing.

Alicia rolled her eyes. Typical, she thought. Ask about that stuff but not about the things you're uncomfortable with. Obviously the stories about my father's so called love affair are wrong, but you're not going to comment on that one.

Miss Harris rose to her feet, and held out her hand, ready to dismiss them before the conversation could drift onto subjects she'd rather not discuss. "Thank you for coming into put the matter straight, Mr Winner. I appreciate it."

Hah.

Abb coughed. "I don't believe our conversation is finished, Miss Harris. There is still another matter concerning us." Alicia put her hand over her mouth to cover her smirk. Silly Miss Harris; thinking her fathers would leave without completing their task. Of course they would make the teacher apologise to her before they left.

His next words took her by surprise. "The way this class is being taught disturbs us somewhat. The war should not be seen as some backdrop against which a romance story took place. It was horrific, especially for those of us who lived through and fought in it. We didn't pilot the Gundams for fun, Miss Harris. We piloted them because it was the right thing to do; so that others wouldn't have to suffer, to protect those who couldn't protect themselves."

A voice interrupted them from behind. "You guys were Gundam pilots? Wow. That must have been so cool." The boy's voice was full of awe, and excitement. He nudged the group of kids who had entered the room with him, and Alicia realised they must have been standing there listening for some time.

"Could they stay and talk to us, Miss Harris?"

"We are studying the war, Miss Harris."

"Please…"

Miss Harris didn't seem impressed, but to Alicia's surprise she nodded. "Maybe Mr Winner would like to show me how the topic should be taught, as obviously my meagre attempts are not up to his standard." The tone in her voice relayed none of the sarcasm behind the words, and the rest of her class looked at Abb expectantly, their eyes wide in anticipation, totally missing the true motive for the teacher's agreeing to their request.

Abb hesitated, then exchanged a glance with Daddy. Something passed between them, then Abb smiled. "Okay, we'll stay for a while and answer some questions." Alicia could feel the wave of excitement ripple through the room, and about a dozen hands shot into the air before he could change his mind.

"Yes?" Abb pointed to the tall boy in the third row and Alicia grinned. Bryan was way into war gaming; she knew what his question would be about.

"The Gundams were so cool. Which one did you pilot and what was it like?" Obviously the class had only picked up on the tail end of the conversation. They knew her parents were pilots but none of the details.

There was a sense of pride and affection in Abb's voice as he replied. She'd heard it before, in varying degrees in all the pilots' voices, but especially in his and Uncle Duo's when they spoke about their mecha. It was almost as though they'd bonded with their Gundams in some way, perceiving them as living beings, rather than just machines. It was weird, but in a cool kind of way.

"My name is Quatre Raberba Winner," he began. "During the war I was 04 - Gundam Sandrock's pilot." The kids grew wide eyed and she could see them hanging on every word.

Bryan interrupted. "Sandrock was cool. It had those shotel things that sliced through the bad guys, right?" He was practically drooling, Alicia noticed to her amusement, as he drank in every word her father said.

Abb nodded. "The heat shotels were in appearance similar to massive curved swords. Sandrock is…was…heavily armoured, designed for both maximum power and protection." Abb smiled as he remembered. "Heavy to handle too, but very reliable. He's good for close combat, especially on the ground in the desert regions." His smile grew wistful, as his voice dropped to a whisper, losing himself for the moment in the memories of the past. "I owe Sandrock my life, on more than one occasion."

Another hand shot up. Jason, a stout boy with wire framed glasses, asked the next question. "But didn't Heavyarms have a lot more fire power?" he asked. "No offense, Mr Winner, but I think it must would have won against Sandrock hands down, any time."

Abb's laughed. "I surrendered to his pilot, so I guess we'll never know." He glanced over at Daddy who was leaning back against the wall of the classroom following the conversation, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk.

Jason's hand shot up and he spoke quickly, getting in before anyone else could. "You surrendered?" He sounded puzzled, but continued onwards as his mind returned quickly to his previous comments. "Sandrock sounds cool, but I'd love to know about the others, especially Heavyarms. That machine could really kick some serious butt." He blushed, embarrassment washing off him in waves, as he realised he'd probably, in a round about way, just insulted the man in front of him.

Abb just grinned. "It could at that. But maybe if you want details you should ask his pilot." He paused, and Alicia could see Jason's mind going into overdrive as he noticed the other visitor in the classroom. It was seriously weird how Daddy could melt into the shadows when he wanted to. One of these days she was going to work out how so she could do it herself. "Trowa?"

Jason's jaw hit the floor. "Trowa Barton?" His voice came out in a high pitched yelp as he struggled to control his excitement. "As in 03's pilot?" Yep, Jason was in love with Daddy's Gundam. Alicia shook her heads. Boys and their obsession with anything mechanical. Still she had to admit - the Gundams were seriously cool.

Daddy's voice had a faint air of amusement in it, as he straightened up and readied himself to answer Jason's eager questions. "Yes, " he confirmed. "I used the name Trowa Barton during the war. And yes, I …was… the pilot of Gundam Heavyarms." He fixed his gaze on the excited teenager, before continuing. "Heavyarms was equipped with some serious firepower…"

Abb interrupted with a grin. "Although it did seem to run out of ammo at some very inopportune moments, if I remember correctly." He paused. "But the real reason why, which the history books wouldn't know, is that you fought each battle with everything you had. By the time you ran out, there wasn't generally much left standing to worry about." His eyes glazed over momentarily. "Even in that white Taurus, you kept going even when most would have given up." There was pride in his voice, but his next words, spoken in a whisper almost to himself, were tinged with sadness and for some reason, guilt. "You acted on instinct even when you didn't have your memories to back you up."

"Quatre?" Daddy sounded concerned, though Alicia doubted anyone else in the room noticed. She frowned at her father's reference to lack of memories. There was so much about the war they wouldn't talk about. She remembered overhearing Uncle Duo and Uncle Heero discussing something called ZERO, but it was a subject her fathers never mentioned, at least in her presence.

Abb looked sad for a moment, then visibly pulled himself together. "I'm fine, Trowa. Sorry, keep going. I shouldn't have interrupted."

Daddy paused, locking eyes with him across the room, until Jason, quite oblivious to anything but the fact pilot 03 was in the room about to answer his questions, waved his hand in the air. "What exactly did Heavyarms use to blow the hell out of everything? Could you tell us some details about the armament?"

Daddy and Abb seemed more amused about Jason's choice of words than Miss Harris at this point. "Jason," she chided. "Watch your language. This is still my classroom." Jason blushed and sat fidgeting in his seat, waiting impatiently for Daddy to answer.

"Heavyarms was a walking arsenal of machine guns, gatlings and missiles more than capable of 'blowing the hell out of everything.'" The side of Daddy's mouth twitched as he quoted Jason's words back at him, and ignored the glare Miss Harris gave him for doing so. Implying Abb was lying earlier hadn't been a smart move on her part. "Part of the Gundam's strength was its ability to attack the enemy at extended range, unlike Sandrock, which was more suited to close combat."

Jason nodded excitedly, his hand in the air even before Daddy had finished talking. "How did you cope after you ran out of ammo? If the suit wasn't really equipped for hand to hand combat?"

"There was an army knife mounted on the right forearm, which could be used if required." Daddy glanced around the room. "Any other questions?"

Jason's hand shot up again, and Alicia groaned. Give it a rest, already, she thought. We know you're the president of the Heavyarms fan club, but geez…

"How did you get to be a Gundam pilot?"

Miss Harris' voice cut across the classroom, and Jason cringed, knowing it was directed at him. "Last question, Jason. I'm sure these gentlemen have better ways of spending their mornings…"

"I was a mechanic working on the project. I was asked to take the original pilot's place when he …died during an accident." The tone in Daddy's voice suggested that particular subject was now closed, and Abb stepped in quickly to shift the topic onto something else.

"Yes?" he asked, pointing to a red headed girl sitting in the front row. This should be fun, Alicia thought, knowing full well what Becca's question would be. She'd gone on about the topic since they'd started this class, and Alicia was really looking forward to her reaction to the answer she wouldn't be expecting.

"I think the story of Queen Relena's and Heero Yuy's romance was so…wonderful. But when I tried to find out whether they lived happily ever after, I kept finding references that she'd married someone called Joshua. Was that Heero Yuy's real name?"

Abb choked, leaned against the desk, and when he looked up there were tears running down his face, as he tried to contain his laughter. "Trowa," he asked in between gasps. "I think you'd better answer that one. I'm not sure I'm quite up to it at present." He made a noise suspiciously like a giggle and reached into his pocket for a handkerchief to wipe his eyes.

Daddy kept his expression neutral as he answered in a deadpan voice, although the sides of his mouth turned up in a slight twitch. "Relena and Heero Yuy are very happily married although not to each other. Joshua Burns and Heero Yuy are not the same person."

Becca didn't attempt to hide the disappointment written over her face. "Please tell me he married someone he met during the war." She put her hand over her heart in a dramatic gesture and Alicia couldn't help but roll her eyes. The girl was such a hopeless romantic. "I've always thought the pilots went off into the sunset in the arms of their one true love." She sniffled. "I couldn't bear it if they hadn't."

"Heero did marry someone he met during the war…" Daddy paused, and glanced at Miss Harris before continuing. She was going to love this revelation. "He married Deathscythe's pilot, Duo Maxwell."

Someone in the back of the classroom sniggered. "You can't be serious. The Gundam pilots were as straight as they come."

If looks could kill, Billy Hunter would be one very dead kid. "I'm very serious," Daddy said, walking over to Abb and laying a hand on his shoulder in a very rare gesture of public affection, his gold wedding band obvious to everyone in the class. Yep, thought Alicia, Daddy's pissed off. "History was mistaken about quite a few things, this being one of them."

Abb moved closer to Daddy and smiled at Becca. "We didn't exactly go off into the sunset, " he said, "but I did find my 'one true love.' There's a reason why Sandrock and Heavyarms worked so well together." His smile grew broader as he met Daddy's gaze. "Meeting my husband was one of the good things which came out of the war."

A solitary hand waved in the dead silence following his simple but effective statement. It was Tim Evans, a very shy newcomer to the school; this was the first time he'd spoken in class. "You said you surrendered to 03…" His voice was quiet but clear, with a hint of wistfulness in it. "Was that when you met?"

Abb nodded. "I still remember that day as though it were yesterday. That was the first time I saw Trowa - standing on his Gundam, his hands raised in surrender."

Tim sighed, then frowned. "But I thought you said you surrendered to him?"

Daddy's voice was soft, as he lost himself in the memories. "I was fighting the enemy in Corsica; Sandrock appeared as I ran out of ammo, and saved me." He paused, a small smile tugging on his lips. "We fought each other, not knowing whether the other suit was friend or foe at first, then Quatre…Mr Winner, stepped out of his Gundam, and so did I."

Abb continued the story. "Neither of us had seen another Gundam before but I knew somehow that we shouldn't be fighting each other." His hand closed over Daddy's, in an unmistakable gesture of affection. "It was, for both of us, the turning point in the war, knowing we weren't the only ones fighting. We'd hadn't been told there were other Gundams."

Tim spoke again, louder this time, as though the story her fathers had told had somehow helped him to find some degree of self confidence. "So your relationship really began on that day?" He twisted his pencil around his fingers, his eyes shining in a way which reminded her of Becca when she had been drooling over the so called romance stories. His reaction puzzled her as did the hope trickling from him, followed closely by envy.

Abb returned the small shy smile the boy was giving both him and Daddy. "Everyone finds the right person eventually," he said softly. Tim nodded, growing quiet again and the penny dropped.

Could Tim be gay? It made sense, the way the older kids had teased him but clammed up when she and Michael approached. She still remembered the time Michael had caught some bullies picking on someone unable to defend himself, just because of some rumour about his sexuality. He'd kicked some serious butt that day, using some fancy moves his parents had taught him. Even though Uncle Heero and Uncle Duo had reprimanded him for taking things into his own hands, she'd sensed the pride coming from them; that he'd stood up for what was right.

Paul Carter put up his hand. "Did you ever get captured?" His words stumbled over each other in his attempt to get them out. "Did you have to go undercover…pretend to work for the enemy to get vital information?"

Abb nodded. "Trowa can answer the second question, infiltrating was his speciality. As for the first…" He grew quiet and shivered before continuing. Anger, sorrow and guilt disappeared behind strong empathic shielding before Alicia barely registered their presence, leaving in their wake a sense of hesitation and something akin to fear, before it too vanished as she felt her father's inner struggle to deal with whatever the memories had brought with them.

Daddy had obviously sensed Abb's distress - he leaned over and whispered something in his husband's ear, his voice too low to be overheard. Abb shook his head, and squeezed Daddy's hand before speaking. "The war was horrific for both sides," he said. "I know it's hard for you kids to understand - to you it must read like an adventure story." His voice shook slightly for a moment, then grew firm again. "Imagine how you would feel being chained to a wall in a small cell, unable to even sit up straight because the handcuffs are too tight, and deliberately designed so you can't get comfortable. Watching your friend lying unconscious on the bunk next to you, hoping he's going to wake up, that the blood from the wound on his head is only superficial, but unable to tell for sure because you can't get near him. Knowing he'd followed you straight into a trap."

Abb swallowed, then continued, not seeming to notice the quietness in the room. "And when Heero and I were led in chains to be executed and I saw…" His eyes misted over, and Daddy moved still closer towards him. "We all made mistakes, we were human…"

"Quatre?" Daddy's concern was apparent even to the rest of the class, but Abb gave a small smile of reassurance. /Chains? Executed?/ Alicia gripped the side of her chair as the words her father used registered, and her stomach heaved at the imagined scene. She'd known they'd faced death during the war but to hear it in so many words…

"It's okay, Trowa." Even with the effort he was making, her father couldn't keep his voice free of emotion. "There's a reason why we are telling you…" Abb shifted his attention away from Daddy, forcing himself to focus on the kids in front of them, "about our experiences, about what happened. No one should have to go through what we did." Abb pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes, then placed his hand on the desk, to hide the fact it was shaking. "I sometimes even forget how young we were…the memories are so vivid, at times it seems like only yesterday."

"How young you were?" Jason, the boy who had wanted to know about Daddy's Gundam, asked the question in almost a whisper.

Abb nodded. "We were fifteen. The same age you are now." He cleared his throat, then pulled the watch he always carried out of his pocket and glanced at it. "We'll answer a couple more questions then I'm sure Miss Harris would like to continue with your scheduled lesson." The forced bright tone in his voice didn't quite cover the obvious change of subject - the shifting from a topic her father didn't want to dwell on.

Daddy stepped forward to fill the silence, enabling Abb to recover before it was time to leave. "To answer your question about infiltration. I joined OZ as a test pilot. Sometimes the only way to discover the enemies' plans and disrupt them is from the inside."

Another hand shot up, interrupting his story. "You speak of OZ as the enemy. I've always been confused about who you were fighting against. There's so much conflicting information. I remember reading that the colonies even sided with OZ at one stage and said the Gundam pilots were the enemy."

Daddy nodded. "It was a confusing time, with allegiances shifting and changing as the war progressed. We were fighting for freedom from oppression, for the colonies and for peace, for the ideals of peace rather than military objectives."

Abb added, "We fought to protect the innocent, to fight for those who couldn't." He seemed calmer than he had, Alicia could feel him losing some of his anxiety, as he focused on listening to Daddy talk.

The boy nodded his thanks, and added another question. "Did you do have to do anything you regretted, to maintain your cover?"

Daddy's hesitation went unnoticed by everyone but his family. "Yes," he said quietly. "OZ had captured a Gundam, and as a final test of my loyalty I was ordered to destroy it."

"So did you?" Alicia wanted to tell him to shut up. Couldn't he see the memory was making Daddy uncomfortable?

Her father gave a slight nod. "Refusing to would have confirmed their suspicions that I wasn't to be trusted." He paused, noticeably this time. "My cover was already in jeopardy. I had no choice."

Peter still didn't get the hint, and frantically scrolled down the page on his laptop. "I knew I'd read something about that. Deathscythe was the one blown to bits, then…." His brow creased into a frown, as his eye travelled further down the screen. "It says here that there was an unconfirmed rumour that one of the Gundams was responsible for wiping out several colonies." His tone was almost accusing, as he asked the next question. Alicia could feel both her fathers cringe even before he put it into words, almost as though they knew what was coming. "I thought you said the pilots were fighting for the colonies. How could one of you destroy what you were supposed to be protecting?"

Abb made a small choking noise, and Alicia put a hand over her heart as she felt an echo of the pain he was feeling. He pulled himself upright, and opened his mouth, but Daddy spoke first.

"War is an evil thing. We don't always react the way we usually would…." Daddy stopped and fixed his gaze on Abb. "No, Cat," he said, his voice firm, but gentle, his tone so low that she had to strain to hear what he was saying. "You can't keep blaming yourself for this. It was ZERO…." The last word was emphasised, the enunciation deliberate, even though she had no idea of its significance.

ZERO again. Judging by both their reactions no wonder her uncles had refused to answer her questions, and made her promise never to ask about it. "When your fathers are ready they will explain," Uncle Heero had told her, but had refused to talk about the subject further.

Even Uncle Duo hadn't been willing to dwell on the subject. "It's in the past," he'd said. "It needs to stay there."

Abb was shaking, his eyes clouded with pain as he focused on something Alicia couldn't see. His hand went to his heart, gripping his shirt tightly he croaked out his reply. "I built it, Trowa. I have to take responsibility."

"No. You. Don't." Daddy's voice was calm, calmer than flow of emotions she could feel spiraling out from him, even as he struggled to keep them under control. "You were under a lot of stress."

"ZERO?"

"You built it?"

Abb shook his head, glancing around as though haunted by something no one else was aware of. Alicia doubted he was even aware of anyone else's presence but Daddy's. Both of them were focused totally on each other, ignoring the blank stares and comments running around the room. "I can still hear them screaming…"

The other kids glanced between each other, trying to make sense of what her parents were saying. She could hear them whispering between themselves, as her fathers kept talking to each other in some kind of code only they could make sense of.

Why had Abb said he had built it, and then shook his head? What was it? Or, had he been answering Daddy, oblivious to the questions directed to him following his outburst?

Alicia bit down on her lower lip and chewed on it, sensing the inner battle her father was losing as he tried to return his emotional state to an even keel. What was wrong with him? He seemed almost out of it, totally unaware of his surroundings. Didn't he and Daddy realise they had an audience, an audience who might draw some very bad conclusions regarding Abb's reaction?

Daddy reached out and laid his hand on Abb's shoulder. "We were all responsible for what happened." Green eyes narrowed in concern, as he reached out on an empathic level to try and offer his husband some semblance of refuge from whatever was causing him so much pain.

What did Daddy mean by 'they were all responsible'? She couldn't believe that either one of her parents or her uncles could be responsible for destroying any colonies. They just couldn't. They'd only fought because it had been the right thing to do. They'd only killed who they'd had to…at least that's what she had always believed.

Abb reached out desperately with his space heart to latch onto some of the calmness Daddy was trying to project. If only he could use that as a barrier between himself and whatever he was trying to fight against, Alicia was sure he'd be okay.

He had to be okay.

What the hell was going on? Alicia fought the urge to run to Daddy's side. Abb was hurting, she could sense it even through the shielding he and Daddy were attempting to construct to try and protect him from whatever it was he was so afraid of.

"Are you all right?" Miss Harris' voice cut through the silence, it was the first time she had heard the teacher sound even remotely concerned about anyone.

They ignored her, standing in silence, both focusing only on each other, on becoming one, as Daddy rubbed Abb's shoulder in a comforting circular motion. Eventually Abb pulled himself upright, although his still ragged breath and the beads of perspiration on his forehead suggested the effort involved in the action.

Finally Daddy spoke, his voice detached, his concentration clearly elsewhere. "I'm sorry. We have to go. Mr Winner isn't feeling well."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Miss Harris, a surprising edge of concern in her voice. Did the teacher have a human side after all? Maybe there was hope for her yet.

Abb spoke, very slowly and calmly, his voice unusually flat. "Thank you for your concern. I'll be fine." He paused, taking a deep measured breath and closing his eyes momentarily to collect himself, then continued. "I'm sorry for having to leave so abruptly."

Miss Harris nodded. "Thank you for your time," she said, and for a moment it seemed as though she actually appreciated their input. "I hope this hasn't been too…stressful for you." She turned to the class, her usual annoyed glare settling on her face as though she'd flicked a switch, and the small insight into her, past the mask she usually wore, was gone. "Class?"

"Thank you, Mr Winner. Mr Barton."

"My name is Winner, now, " Daddy corrected absently as he manoeuvred Abb gently towards the door. Before she even realised what was happening they were gone, several pairs of eyes staring at the spot where they'd just been standing.

"That was seriously weird," said Billy Hunter.

"Cool…" enthused Jason, still lost in a Heavyarms induced haze. "Very cool."

"Interesting," muttered Peter, busying himself scrolling down his screen, the expression on his face suggesting his curiosity was piqued.

Alicia approached the teacher's desk. "I'll be back in a minute, " she murmured under her breath, ignoring the protests from Miss Harris as she ran out of the room, intent on finding her parents before they left.

Her footsteps echoed through the corridor, leather pounding against concrete as she glanced around frantically for any sign of her parents. Abb was not okay, she knew him enough to know the lack of intonation in his voice for the facade it was. He was projecting an image, an image which would be discarded as soon as they were clear.

"It's okay, Cat. I'm here." She heard Daddy's voice before she saw them, sensed Abb's turmoil even before that. Forcing herself to wade against the tide of the incoming whirlpool of emotion battering against her shielding, she came to an abrupt halt at the scene before her.

Daddy was leaning against the outside room of the building, trying to support Abb's limp body against his own. Hearing that quiet sobbing, those words of attempted comfort, she was suddenly face to face with memories from her past.

Abb writhed under the sheets, struggling against some imaginary enemy, against Daddy's attempts to calm him. "It's okay, Cat. I'm here. I'm here." Daddy put one strong arm about Abb, using the weight of his body to try and stop him hurting himself.

"I can still hear them screaming, even after all these years. I can feel their pain, sense their terror. I can't just pretend it didn't happen, or make excuses. They won't let me." The waves of guilt, loss and terror rolling over her were identical to those she'd felt all those years ago. The same emotions brought on by the same memories.

"Daddy?" She was unable to keep the concern and fear out of her own voice, as she put two and two together. Were her father's nightmares somehow connected to the war time memories he couldn't bring himself to discuss?

What had happened to him, to both of them? Part of her wanted to know, needed to know, the other was too scared to ask.

For a moment she wished she hadn't seen this, hadn't seen her father lose control. Parents weren't supposed to do this. They were always supposed to be there for their kids - they weren't supposed to have their own demons they couldn't deal with. She'd always had this irrational belief that her parents' lives had somehow begun with her birth. The idea that they'd had gone through all this stuff, all these problems, before she'd even been thought of…Yes, she knew they had, seen the photos, heard the stories, but to see this….it brought it home in a way she'd never dreamed.

"He'll be okay." Daddy sensed her distress and gave her a shaky smile. "We just need time." She stepped forward, wanting to help, but unsure if she could.

Abb turned his head from his position on Daddy's shoulder, as though just becoming aware of her presence. "I'm sorry, " he whispered. "I didn't want you to see this. I…" He reached out his hand and gently stroked her cheek, as he echoed his husband's words. "I'll be okay."

"Abb…" She struggled to find the right words, to reassure him - to do what he was trying to do for her, but couldn't. In the end she put her arms around him, and gave him a hug.

"Alicia…" Abb's voice was still shaky, but somehow it seemed stronger. She hoped she'd been able to help in some way, that she'd added to what Daddy was sharing with him.

Daddy continued for him. "We'll talk later, promise." He kissed the top of her head gently, the same way he had all those years ago when she'd told that Abb had needed him more.

He still did.

She nodded, pulling away reluctantly, to retrace her steps to the classroom. "Love you," she whispered.

"We love you too, Alicia." She could sense the emotion behind the words from both of them, and she wiped the lone tear trickling down her cheek. Abb stepped forward, though still supported by Daddy and wiped it for her, his fingers smooth against her skin.

"Thank you."

*******

TBC