Tori: Alright, kids! We've got a new chapter of LTTP to start! I wanna get this one out before next summer!

Trowa: It's gonna cost ya'.

Tori: Name your price.

Trowa: ...*bites lower lip* ...candies. *grins and looks all excited*

Tori: ¬_¬ Sit down and shut up, you weird-ass freak.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tori: I will now be dating each segment to give everyone a better grasp of the situations at the time of questioning since so much is happening! This begins on Sunday, August 8th, 2004, Japan time! Hajimeru!

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: Good evening, esteemed Mrs. Yuy. I possess several inquiries for your compatriots collectively aliased as "The Gundam Pilots". Heero, congratulations on your (probably by now) six-month-old son. What is the best thing about him?

Wu Fei: The year is actually 2008...We're poised to re-elect Nader as-
Heero: Thanks for the congrats! I couldn't have done it without my lovely wife Tori... ^__^

Tori: ^__^

Heero: Um... the best thing about Makoto is...

Tori: Adrian.

Duo: Ichi.

Wu Fei: -The Killer.

Heero: <.< ... The best thing about Makoto is that he's so...well-behaved. ^__^ He doesn't cry nearly as much as I was afraid he would, and he's very... I don't know! He's just awesome! He's got these tiny little hands... and these little feet! And his ears are really small too! And he has no teeth... and really, really big blue eyes and this little nose...! *smiling and making hand gestures* And when I smile at him, he smiles too! And his laugh is so cute... And he does this thing where when you hold out a finger, he grabs it a squeezes as hard as he can. He's got a really strong grip, too! He's just so tiny...but he's this little ball of life.

Duet: *soft smile* Heero... we love you.

Heero: ...what?

Duet: ^__^

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: Duo, some of my homies have been saying that anime is crap. How you gonna act?
Duo: Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I guess..

Quatre: Fuck that! See, what'cha gotta do, Rachel... is get a gat, and pop some damn caps in their asses. THEN we'll see who likes anime!

Duo: O.O *looks at Quatre* You are a very frightening person.

Quatre: *pouts* I want a baby...

Trowa: Then make one with the other Rachel...

Quatre: Mmmm... maybe. But I'll show her some courtesy and wait until she's legal.

Duo: *moves to punch Quatre* Hold me back, Duet!

Duet: o.o *pulls his braid*

Duo: Ow! *sits down hard*

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: Trowa, what exactly have you done with Avery?
Trowa: That is WAY not the coolest question to ask.

Tori: It's legit, babe.

Trowa: What ever happened to those rules in the first chapter?

Tori: *laughs* Good one! Like anyone ever followed those! Answer the question.

Wu Fei: *grins* He's scared 'cause if he does, it'll be documented evidence of statutory rape.

Trowa: That's not why! It's our private life.

Avery: *sticks tongue out, shoves Trowa* It's okay. I won't let Duo hurt you.

Duo: I'll cover my ears. *gets up, walks to the corner of his room, and covers his ears obediently*

Trowa: *shrugs and looks away*

Quatre: Is there, perhaps, another force at work here? ...guilt maybe?

Trowa: ...yes!

Heero: Ah ha! So the frozen stone is finally starting to feel again!

Trowa: *level stare at Heero* ...shall I begin to list all the girls you fucked freshman year?

Heero: You can't count that high, handsome. *grins*

Duet: O.O *sits patiently, listening* These questions lead to infinitely more interesting discussions than any drinking games we've ever played.

Trowa: *narrows eyes, glaring at Heero*

Heero: *pauses* Hehe... *shoves Trowa down and forcibly makes out with him*

Trowa: *allows it for a second, the shoves Heero off*

Avery, Tori, & Duet: Awww...

Trowa: *wipes mouth* Alright... Christ... I slept with her, okay?

Heero: *rolls on his stomach, props his chin up on his hands* There are dirtier things than that... *sticks tongue out*

Trowa: Now you're definitely just being a pervert.

Avery: *blushing, kicks Heero in the ribs*

Heero: *grabs her ankle* Don't tempt me, heart.

Duet: O.O *pulls Avery away and hugs her*

Heero: *nods to Duet* Duet knows...

Tori: Heero, cut it out. It's not funny to joke about that.

Heero: Sorry, Tor. Sorry, girls...

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: Quatre, Duo told me you were a big stinky doo-doo head. React accordingly.

Quatre: What!? Duo would never! Duo...! *looks around*

Wu Fei: He's still in the corner. *gestures*

Duo: Hmm hmmm hmmm... *swaying in the corner, hands over his ears*

Quatre: *gets up, walks over, and pulls his hands away* It's safe now.

Duo: 'Kay. *goes to walk back to the circle around the laptop*

Quatre: *stops him* ...word on the streets is you've been callin' me a "stinky doo doo head".

Duo: o.o Naw, man! Naw! I ain't never said no shit 'bout you! You's my BRO!

Quatre: Shiiiii... Fuck, son, you 'spect me to believe that?

Duo: Shit, man, no! I ain't never said bad! I'm true, bro! *pounds his chest* You know it!

Quatre: A'ight! A'ight!

Both: *make up a complicated-looking handshake that ends with them hugging and patting each other on the back*

Quatre: I love ya', bro...

Duo: *squeezes Quatre's butt, whispers breathily* Aishiteru... *kisses his neck*

Wu Fei: Are all of you totally horny tonight!?

Trowa: No...

Duo: Yes. Always.

Quatre: Well, I wasn't...

Heero: I AM! OH! I SOOOO TOTALLY AM!

Duo: *drags Quatre back to the circle, then sits in Heero's lap* So...like... wanna make out? *bats eyelashes and flips his braid over his shoulder*

Heero: Yes. *kisses Duo*

Duet, Tori, Avery, & Quatre: XD YESSS!

Avery:...waitaminute... *shifty eyes* Oh, fuck it... DO HIM!

Wu Fei: *holds head in hands* Please don't let this turn into a huge orgy... This is how they always start...

Duo & Heero: *separate*

Duo: That's it. Your turn. *nods to Duet*

Duet: *winks at Tori, then leans over and kisses Avery*

Duo: NOOO!! ... yes... NO! ACHT! MEIN EYES! *buries face in Heero's chest*

Quatre: Okay. This either needs to stop... or we need to turn off the laptop and put on some music.

Avery: *blushing furiously* The second one!

Wu Fei: Maybe we should get Heero's sisters in on this!

Heero: Go ahead...

Duo: Dibs on the twelve year old!

Trowa: Emily's too busy being mad at the world to do anything else.

Duet: I'd be pretty mad at the world if I randomly found out Heero was my brother...

Heero: That's because we sleep together, Duet.

Duet: Well...yeah. I mean, it wouldn't stop me, but...yanno... it'd be kinda weird.

Wu Fei: You'd do your brother?

Duet: Not my real one, no. Only because he's ugly and he beat the shit out of me until my bios tossed me. He's a redneck though... He's probably fucked me before. Me and sheep. o.o

Duo: Duet, no one knows how to kill a sexual situation faster than you.

Duet: ^__^ I'm a cockblock! *very proud of herself*

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: Wu Fei, are you or are you not sick of being called a racist pig?

Wu Fei: Oh, I LOVE it! It NEVER gets old!

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: Duet, google mambo-faced to the banana patch?

Duet: *acts embarrassed* Well, I have been known to... But not recently, for some reason.

Trowa: ...double-you tee eff?

Duet: Well, she's either asking me to Google "mambo-faced" until I get to the banana patch, or she wants to know if I've given several guys head at once.

Wu Fei: Yeah, why don't you do that any more?

Duet: *shrugs* I got, like, married or something... Dunno...

Quatre: *pauses* ...how did you take that away from Rachel's question?

Duet: My imagination concerning the pornographic knows no limits.

Duo: Did I marry the greatest woman or what?

Heero: Just you wait, Duo... Soon, she'll enter The Horny Phase of pregnancy. Then you'll regret ever going NEAR a nympho.

Quatre: I have this sinking feeling we ALL will...

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: Please explain the significance of 42 in comparison to 7x8.

Heero: Well, '42' is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. '7x8', on the other hand...is a math equation that happens to equal 56.

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) says: Tori, thank you for your perseverance in putting up with the idiots you call housemates.

Tori: My pleasure... Usually it's very strenuous...but every once in a while, it really pays off...because boys kiss and stuff. ^__^

Quatre: We are not idiots!

Duo: *puts hand reassuringly on Quatre's arm* Yes, Quatre... Yes, we are...

LadyNayruMoon (Rachel/Raye) asks: For Avery, if she's present, if not, anyone else... WHYYYY?!

Avery: Rachel... *shakes head* You ask "why?" now...but think for a minute. If you were in my position, wouldn't you do the same?

Trowa: Why what?

Avery: Why ANYTHING!? Why here!? Why now!? WHY ALL THESE DAMN QUESTIONS!? *grabs Trowa's shirt* WHY, ANYTHING, TROWA!? WHY!?

Trowa: ¬_\\\ ...because...

Avery: *looks directly at Tori, deadpan* Because, Rachel. Because...

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Duet, just because I'm not sure if Duo told you or not, but, did you know that Alf has his own talk show?! o_o I keep seeing commercials for it on this one TV channel. *was rereading LTTP because there's nothing to read*

Duet: WHAT!? FUCK ALF! If every funny-lookin' pussy-eatin' space thing got a TV show, I'd have five stars in this room alone!

Tori: You... um... *looks to Avery for back-up* You...do have...five TV stars in this room.

Avery: Yeah...and they're all funny-looking, pussy-eating space things. XD

Duet: Well, fuck me in the ass and call me Chichiri... XD

Demoness Of Punishment (D) says: ¬__¬ Duo, it's called the "DUO typing Disease" not the "D typing disease," because you were always making the typos, like when you molested yourself, and you spread it to the Ladies. o_o You're like an STD, stay the hell away from me. And Wu Fei, DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!
Duo: *rolls eyes and makes the "crazy" sign*

Wu Fei: *nods solemnly*

Duo: It's a pity, really... She was such a smart girl.

Wu Fei: Mental retardation. It can happen to anyone.

Quatre: ...not, it can't. *is ignored*

Heero: An STD? ...and now D has the disease? Duo, I must say, that sounds mighty suspicious... *grins*

Avery: *gasps* YOU HAD SEX WITH D!?

Duo: No!

Heero: *gasps all girly like Avery* OH MY GAWD, DUO! YOU AND D DID THE NASTY!!!

Duo: ...that is SO wrong...

Duet: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU MET HER! HOW COME YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME!? WE COULD'VE ROCKED HER WORLD TOGETHER!!!

Duo: *level stare at Duet* Duet, you're-

Quatre: *gettin' in on the action* Do we need to have the condom talk again, Duo?

Trowa: Maybe DTD is like...crabs.

Wu Fei: SCABIES. o.o

Duet: EW, GUYS! SHUT UP! That's gross....

Trowa & Wu Fei: *close in on Duet, making wiggly fingers* SCAAAABIES!!!! SCAAAABIES!!!!!

Duet: ACK! *puts her head down and covers her ears*

Heero: Ugh... We were just talking about Duo defiling our sweet little D....

Duo: I don't defile things. YOU defile things. I make love.

Duet: *probably pondering the most inappropriate thing to say* If you suck on it, love comes out!

Quatre, Wu Fei & Duet: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wu Fei: The more it loves you, the bigger it gets! *giggles*

Quatre: First you take the trust...

Trowa: This conversation needs to stop now. <.<

All: *silent*

Quatre: *whispers* ...penis...

Duet: *whispers a little louder* ...penis.

Wu Fei: ...Penis.

Duo: ...PENIS.

Quatre: ...PENIS!

Tori: ...PENIS!!!

Heero: *yells out* PENIS!!11!!1!

All: *dissolve into a fit of giggles*

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Trowa, what in the hell are you doing trying to corrupt Holly?! >__< Vi is bad enough with all the pictures!

Trowa: O_\\\ Huh? How'd I corrupt Holly?

Heero: With your man-penis.

Trowa: Well then... I have been known to "corrupt" a few girls in my day... If you know what I mean. *exaggerated wink at Heero*

Heero: Ah, I hear ya!

Wu Fei: Now I definitely thought Violet died.

Quatre: NO ONE DIED! COME OFF IT!

Wu Fei: But... death... didn't ONE of them die or something?

Quatre: Hear this, Wu Fei... If one of the Ladies DID die..! I think Duo would be a drunken drug-addled mess again...

Duo: *cheerfully* A-MEN!

Wu Fei: So...no death?

Quatre: No. No death.

Wu Fei: *makes a weird face*

Quatre: ...what's that face for?

Wu Fei: I was debating whether to pout or not. Decided against it on grounds that it would be morbid and offensive.

Trowa: ...thank you for that stunning portrait of your thought process.

Wu Fei: Any time, boy.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) says: Tori, in reference to what Quatre said, I'm sorry we turned Heero into a flamboyant idiot, but I'm sure you can trade him in.

Tori: Oh no! I don't mind it at all! He may be a flamboyant idiot, but he's MY flamboyant idiot! *big cheesy grin*

Duet: Wait... Tori, shut up! What of the new model has a bigger penis!? And laser eyes!?

Tori: We~ell... I do love a well-hung man with laser eyes...

Duo: An even bigger penis? No thanks... I like being able to walk after sex. It's rough enough now! Any more well-hung and he'll need another leg for his jeans.

Trowa & Wu Fei: *giggling*

Wu Fei: They keep saying 'penis'... XD

Trowa: And "hung"... XD

Quatre & Avery: *start laughing*

Heero: *just grins and shakes head*We're all freaks…

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Heero, if you ever go to San Diego, you can stop by and hide out here. Nothing will kill you.

Heero: Except your mom for teaching you how to drive properly, right?

Quatre: And cacti. Heero doesn't get along well with cacti.

Heero: Cactuses... Mein mortal enemy... *narrows eyes*

Duet: Cacti and road signs... the only natural enemies of our poor Heero.

Heero: At least my natural enemies aren't deer and realtors.

Duo: Hey, deer and realtors attack me all the time... because they have feet. And WILL POWER. Any damage you sustain from a cactus or a street sign is something you've brought upon yourself.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Duo!! ;_; Quatre died! >_> And before you say it, he was not gay, retarded, or Jewish, you Italian rat bastard.

Quatre: o.o I may not be dead, Jewish, or retarded, but I most certainly AM gay!

Duo: She's talking about her retarded little lesbian Israelite-lizard. And I'm sorry to see the sexually confused little thing go...he represented so many minorities...

Duet: He was the Democratic National Convention in one fun-for-the-whole-family-sized package!

*pause*

Duo: So I taught D the phrase "rat bastard" the other day...

+Tuesday, August 10th, 2004+

DemonessOfPunishment (D) asks: Quatre, will you help me with AP English? ....It scares me.

Quatre: Of course, D! I'd love to help you!

Wu Fei: Don't do it, D! Don't provoke him!

Quatre: *innocent look* What do you mean, Wu Fei?

Wu Fei: Don't gimme that innocent shit... You're a grammar nazi.

Quatre: Hmph! *turns up nose* I am no such thing. I simply correct you every once in a while so you can better yourselves.

Wu Fei: ¬__¬ You're the DEVIL.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: So, Duo, when are you going to stop trying to sell everyone else and sell yourself? I need a tall person to clean the windows....and reach all the crap on top of the cabinets.

Duet: *hugs Duo* Nu-huh... Not for sale.

Duo: ^__^* If I were to sell myself, it certainly wouldn't be to you, you slave driver.

Heero: Oo! Let's sell our bodies again! That was good money!

All: ¬__¬

Heero: ¬__¬ You guys are no fun anymore.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) says: Yeah, if you happen to hear on the news that Buena High School got blown up, that'd be my fault. ^__^ I have chemistry first hour when I don't function properly until third hour.

Trowa: You don't really get anything fun like that in chemistry. The most dangerous thing you get to play with is, like, iodine.

Duet: I dunno... The Bunsen burners were mighty dangerous.

Duo: What was that thing we used to do with the burners and they made all the sparkles?

Duet: That's when you scrape the igniter back and forth a lot, then shake it out over the flame and the flint sparkles.

Tori: Don't teach kids that...

Duet: They have to LEARN, Tori... It's SCIENCE class.

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: Wu Fei, I know it's bad luck to have sex in the back seat of a car, but would you consider breaking the rules if I were to throw in, say, a free lesbian encounter with one of the other Ladies?

Wu Fei: YES! YES! ...a thousand times yes!

Heero: Damn your tinted windows, Wu Fei... *shakes fist*

Wu Fei: Nothing you haven't seen, Heero.

Duo: o.o My mind's eye is burning. *scratches at his forehead*

Duet: Don't scratch, dear, it'll scar.

Duo: *looks at Heero, then Wu Fei* I think I'm already scarred.

Quatre: *quietly* Pokey pokey kitty pokey face!

Quatre & Duet: *laugh hysterically*

Duo: o.o I don't get it.

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: Hey, Duo, can you and Trowa re-enact that Yu-Gi-Oh battle we had in Friday's not forever ago? I just can't tell the story well enough to properly convey the humor and genius of it to my friends...

Wu Fei: What? When did you go to Friday's with Rachel?

Duo: Before we left. *sticks tongue out*

Trowa: Ahhh, good times.

Duo: *snickers* Trowa... I play my Son of God in attack mode!

Trowa: Bah! By playing your Son of God in attack mode, you've activated my trap card, Judas' Betrayal! At the cost of 30 Life Points, I can betray your Son Of God to the Romans!

Duo: DAMN! On my turn, I play the magic card Passion In The Garden! I get to draw my Twelve Disciples and my Saint John from my deck and place them on the field in defense mode!

Trowa: On my turn I place Crucifix in attack mode! Now, I play Polymerization to summon Crucifixion By Romans and attach the magic card Stations Of The Cross to my Crucifixion By Romans which raises the attack points by 5000! You lose 10,000 Life Points!

Duo: But my Son Of God card has a special ability! He may be in the graveyard now, friend Trowa, but in three turns he shall arise again!

Both: *dissolve into a fit of giggles*

Heero: *laughing* That was awesome... It could work with almost anything!

Duet: Oooh! Let's play American Government!

Quatre: I play Bill Clinton in attack mode! Clinton, attack Duet's National Debt!

Duet: NOOOO! Grrr... Quatre, you've activated my Monica Lewinskie's special ability! Monica! Blow Job!

Quatre: AHHH! I lost 500 credibility points!

Duet: Now I attack with Media for another 700 points!

Quatre: I negate this attack with my "Define The Meaning Of 'Is' Card"!

Duet: Argh... I flip my Forced Resignation card!

Quatre: AHHH! MY NIXON!

All: *burst out laughing again*

Trowa: That was awesome, but it's definitely more fun when Rach and I played 'Church'.

Duo: Yeah, you guys are insane... The "Jewish Stereotype" card just ripped your deck apart.

Trowa: I know... I had to throw out all my lawyers... My rabbi...my accountants... I was basically left with Sharpened Star Of David and Cast Of Fiddler On The Roof.

Duo: Yeah, and she wiped the floor with you when she played that Old Polish Guy/ Pope Hat combo.

Trowa: How was I supposed to know the Pope had Infallibility? My Feminism and Church Scandal had no effect! And let's not even talk about the incident with my Gay Pride Brigade...

Quatre: You guys are beyond weird. o.o

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) says: Duo, I've found the NECRONOMICON!!! It's at my work in the DVD section between Donnie Darko and Fandango! I picked it up to show Jen and Kyle, but I forgot to say 'Klaatu verada niktu!' and now I'm scared the Army of the Dead will descend upon Barnes & Noble... o.o

Duo: Rachel, lemme explain to you what a fictional story is...

Duet: THERE'S NO TIME, DUO! CUT OFF YOUR ARM AND REPLACE IT WITH A CHAINSAW AND HASTEN TO HER RESCUE!

Quatre: SOMEONE GET THIS MAN AN OLDSMOBILE!

Heero: TO S-MART! HOUSEWARES!

Wu Fei: WHERE'S HIS BOOMSTICK!?

Duo: -___-* I hate you all.

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: All prejudice aside, for whom does common sense and a desire to have what's best for America dictate you should vote for in November?

All: *pause*

Duet: ...Trowa.

Quatre: He wasn't born in the US.

Duet: Oh crap. I forgot. Um... Wu Fei.

Duo: Wu Fei would make an awesome president!

Wu Fei: Um... can't we just take Trowa's papers to court and say they were altered? I donwanna be president.

Trowa: Like I do?

Tori: He's everything your country desperately needs... A hot bisexual Jewish orphan otaku bachelor who is constantly surrounded by scandals!

Trowa: I'm not old enough, anyway. And I was born in Russia.

Wu Fei: Russian guys are ugly. Are you sure you're Russian?

Trowa: What!? I don't know!

Heero: He doesn't have a Jewish nose either... *narrows eyes at Trowa*

Trowa: I'm ignoring you two... and continuing to believe what I've been told all my life. *mumbles something in Russian*

Duet: But seriously... Who are you guys voting for?

All: *pause*

Heero: *opens mouth to say something, then closes it again*

Quatre: Kerry.

Trowa: That's the easy answer... But is he really what the US needs? And you know... if he doesn't make it, we might get Hillary Clinton in 2008...

Quatre: Oh! I would like Hillary Clinton... But is it worth enduring four more years of Bush?

Duet: I think so. Besides, let Bush clean up his own mess in Iraq. Then we'll kick him to the curb when the maintenance is done.

Quatre: I'm sorry. I still have to say Kerry.

Duo: Kerry.

Duet: Bush...but not because I like him.

Heero: Bush. He's a liar, a fraud, a homophobic, and a redneck... but I just don't think Kerry's fit for the job. At least Bush has some experience running the country... and when I say Bush, I mean his administration, because Bush is just a willing puppet.

Trowa: Bush. I'm really holding out for Mrs. Clinton.

Wu Fei: Kerry. I loathe Bush with my very being. Fuck Iraq, fuck bin Laden... we need to worry about ourselves first, and Kerry has policies that will make home life more tolerable. He's not backing an anti-gay amendment, he's not talking about sending in my friends and their families to Iraq...and he's probably never had a sexual encounter with a farm animal.

Duet: *grins* Half of all men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with a farm animal. ^__^

Heero: Hmmm... we're split right down the middle. This way, if none of us vote, the average'll stay the same!

Quatre: Three to Three or Zero to Zero... they both break down to One to One. Interesting logic, Heero, but I still think we should vote. We have to get our percentage up for our age group.

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: Quatre, from what I hear, the band "Bright Eyes" went over well with you guys... *grins* So... Everyone... FAVORITE LYRIC TIME!!! And make sure it's a long lyric so I can figure out what song it's from.

Duo & Quatre: LIKE WOAH FOR BRIGHT EYES!!! *look at each other and burst out laughing*

Duet: This is gonna be hard...

Heero: I don't know all the lyrics by heart. At least not word for word.

Duo: Hold on. *gets up, walks to an open suitcase, pulls out Lifted, Fevers and Mirrors, and A Collection Of Songs, and takes out the lyrics booklets* I have these at least. *hands them to Heero and sits down again*

Heero: *flips through the booklets*

Duo: *nods to Tori and speaks like he's simply telling a story* It's not the past few days that have made me feel this way. And it's not the tiny marks of doubt that cover everything I see. It's just the way she looks at me with a love so complete... That I have never seen. And from this grows a strong, undying guilt. The feeling of regret for things I've never felt. But, oh, I wanted to change and become what she needs. I know what she needs...what I can never be. That's "All Of The Truth"

Duet: *arches an eyebrow at Duo*

Trowa: *touches Duet's arm* He's not talking about you.

Duet: Didn't sound like it.

Quatre: I got mine!!!

Duo: SING IT!

Quatre: *clears throat* The priests dressed children for choir, but found no joy in what was sung... The funeral had begun. ...in the middle of the day... when you drive home to your place... from that job that makes you sleep... back to the thoughts that keep you awake... Long after night has come to claim any light that still remains...in the corner of the frame that you put around her face... Two pills just weren't enough! Now the alarm clock's goin' off! But you're not waking up! This isn't happening, happening... It is.

Duet: YAY! SNAPS FOR KITTY Q! XD *hugs him and takes his song booklet*

Trowa: You would be awesome in a screamer band, Quatre.

Quatre: Thank you! ^__^ *looks over at Wu Fei and Duet expectantly*

Wu Fei: Alright. I'm ready.

Duet: SING!

Wu Fei: *poisonously* No. She kills, with foreign films, the emptiness day to day. And I wait until the weekend comes so I can clear this uselessness from my brain. I count the days until she arrives, those precious minutes when she is mine, as we walk from my front door to her car. We are so close and alone, but that will disappear in a room filled with warmth of others' company. There's too much company. I hide my wounded pride and stare off into the other cars. If I could just speak the words to tell her...exactly how I feel... I count the ways that I might say it, but I know that none of them will work because she won't feel the same... I've come this far but I can't go through with it because the truth would hurt too much.  This hurts too much.

Tori: Duo, leave me the song booklets later so I can fill in the lyrics.

Duo: Yessum.

Trowa: Ready.

Duet: You're singing. *glares at Trowa* You better.

Trowa: *shrugs* You-

Duet:  WAIT! *scrambles to her feet, runs out of the room, and returns with Trowa's acoustic guitar*

Trowa: There's not really a whole lot of guitar here, Duet…

Duet: Just play the melody!

Trowa: Um... I don't know this song perfectly...

Duet: Yes, you do. Don't bullshit us. Play and sing, bitch!

Trowa: *sighs* Only because I love you... *strums it, then starts playing*
But I remember everything, the words we spoke on freezing South Street, and all those mornings watching you get ready for school. You combed your hair inside that mirror, the one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears. Something about those bright colors would always make you feel better. But now we speak with ruined tongues and the words we say aren't meant for anyone. It's just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance, but there was once you. You said you hate my suffering, and you understood, and you'd take care of me. You would always be there. Well, where are you now?

Heero: *joins in*

Trowa & Heero: *singing* Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, The plans were never finalized, but left to hang like yarn and twine, dangling before my eyes. As you tear and tear your hair from roots from that same head that you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove our love would never die. And I sing and sing of awful things The pleasure that my sadness brings. As my fingers press onto the strings, you get another clumsy chord. Haligh, Haligh, an awful lie. This weight will now be satisfied. I'm gonna give you only one reply, I know not who I am. But I talk in the mirror to the stranger that appears. Our conversations are circles, always one sided, nothing is clear. Except we keep coming back to this meaning that I lack. He says the choices were given and now, you must live them, or just not live, but do you want that?

Wu Fei: Trowa, you're awesome. Heero, you too.

Quatre: I like that song...

Duet: Me too. ^__^ Good job, Trowa!

Heero: *points* This is it!

Trowa: What one? I'll play.

Heero: "Make War" ... Right after "yes, you should"

Trowa: Alright. *starts playing*

Heero: *sings* But please... Return, return, to the person that you were. And I will do the same, because it's too hard to belong to someone who is gone. My compass spins, the wilderness remains. Once too often I've retreated in to the depths of my despair. I built a barricade to block you on the road. But standing there with all of my possessions piled higher than a house, I felt closer to you than you ever could have known. So let these tiny acts of charity be common ground on which to build a monument to commemorate our time. And though, you say, you've found another who will surely speed you on your way, don't let the forest grown over the path by which you came there by. But you will, so... Hurry up and run to the person that you love, and blind him with your kindness. And he will make war, old war, on who you were before. And he'll claim all that has spoiled in your heart.

Quatre: XD You're so good at that, Heero!

Duet: Yeah, you guys are awesome together!

Tori: Woah... Are you guys singing whole songs?

Heero: o.o No... *hands off his booklet*

Duo: Mine was, but it was short.

Duet: *sits in silence playing with jeans*

All: *looking at Duet*

Duet: ...what?

Heero & Trowa: SING!

Duet: O.O *quietly* Do the noodle dance... The "use your noodle" dance... *dances with pointer fingers*

Heero: *pauses* I was tempted to facefault...

Trowa: *laughs* Facefaulting 101.

Duo: As you dive into the floor, lead with the palm of your right hand...

Quatre: Rest your weight on your upper arm as you kick your legs dramatically into the air. Use this opportunity to assume a comical pose.

All: *laugh*

Wu Fei: I can't believe we wasted a week of our lives learning how to fall in a funny way on cue.

Heero: Hey, wait a minute... *looks at Duet* DUET! SING!

Duet: *pouts* Only if Quatre sings with me...

Quatre: Depends... What song?

Duet: A happy one!

Quatre: But which one?

Duet: Mmmmm... BOWL OF ORANGES!

Quatre: Okay!

Duet: Trowa, you gotta play for us though...

Trowa: You know... it's not like these songs are all guitar...

Duet: Tough cookies.

Trowa: *smirks and plays*

Duet & Quatre: The rain, it started tapping on the window near my bed! There was a loophole in my dreaming, so I got out of it. And to my surprise, my eyes were wide, and already open. Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been. So I dressed myself and left then, out into the grey streets. But everything seemed different and completely new to me. The sky, the trees, the houses, buildings, even my own body. And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet.

Duo: *joins in, singing from memory*

Duet, Quatre & Duo: I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health! I said, "There is nothing I can do for you, you can't do for yourself." He said, "Oh yes you can, just hold my hand. I think that that would help." And so I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt. He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure of it. Thank you, stranger, for your therapeutic smile."

Trowa, then Tori, then Heero and Wu Fei: *join in, half reading, half from memory*

All:  So that is how I learned the lesson, that everyone's alone. And your eyes must do some raining if you're ever gonna grow. But when cryin' don't help and you can't compose yourself, it's best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or a simple song of hope. That's why I'm singing..."Baby, don't worry, 'cause now I got your back! And every time you feel like crying, I'm gonna try and make you laugh! And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad, then we will wait for it to pass, and I will keep you company through those days so long and black. And we'll just keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve of love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole! But if the world could remain within a frame like a picture on a wall, then I think we would see the beauty. Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed... like a bowl of oranges, like a story told by the fault lines and the soil. *dissolve into giggles*

Wu Fei: That was awesome!

Trowa: We should have sing-alongs more often.

Duet: Does this mean we can watch We Sing Sillyville again?

Heero: Can't. I set it on fire, like, three years ago.

Duet: Nice try, Heero... I was SO watching it the other week.

Quatre: It's true. I had "Boom Boom, Ain't It Great To Be Crazy" in my head for days.

Duet: *starts singing and bouncing animatedly* WAY DOWN SOUTH WHERE BANANAS GROW! A FLEA STEPPED ON AN ELEPHANT'S TOE! THE ELEPHANT CRIED WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES! "WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR SIZE!? BOOM BOOM, AIN'T IT"-

Quatre: STOP! *covers his ears* Oh GOD no...! *dry sobs*      

Iruka Yuywell (Alisha) asks:  Any name ideas yet for the little Maxwell? *sends love to the Yuy kid*

Duet: Quite a few actually, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. ^__^*

Duo: We've gone through pretty much ever 'S' name on the list and got... Seraphim, Scarlett, Sierra, and Serenity... Arienette...*smirks* Ashley...Jennifer Marie...Rachel...  Not too many girl names.

Duet: But our boy names are pretty much agreed upon. *smiles* Azrael... Damien... Although I have taken a liking to 'Ash'... NOT, of course, because of Descendants or Darkness or Pokémon...Tobias and Alexiel, too, Tori and I like. But I hafta leave one or two left to her in case we're blessed with any more Yuys.  ^__^ *smiles at Tori*

Tori: <.< Maybe in a few years... *rubs stomach*

Iruka Yuywell (Alisha) asks:  Tori or Heero, do I call your son Adrian or Makoto? And no, Duo...I'm not gonna call him Ichi the Killer 9__9. That was an interesting movie though...

Duo: He's Ichi the Killer! We gotta stick with the number theme!

Tori: *laughs* We call him Adrian.

Heero: But you can call him Makoto. That's the name he'll end up using.

Tori: No, he won't! Adrian is a perfectly acceptable name!

Heero: And Makoto is a perfectly BADASS name!

Tori: Our son is not badass, he is sweet and cute and gentle!

Heero: So's Quatre and Q's still BADASS!

Quatre: *arches eyebrows* Don't involve me in this...

Tori: Quatre, c'mon... Adrian or Makoto?

Quatre: -___-* What did I just say?

Tori: Something not important. Adrian or Makoto?

Quatre: I'll just be referring to him as 'the baby' and 'little Yuy' until you two come to a conclusion.

Tori: My vagina, my call. *glares Heero down*

Heero: Ah... she played the vagina card...

Wu Fei: Quick! Counter with your Race-Appropriate Name Card!

Heero: No way, man... The Vagina Card is UNSTOPPABLE.

Tori: Then it's settled.

Heero: Fine. At least until Ma...Adrian's ready to make his own choice.

Tori: Fine.

Iruka Yuywell (Alisha) asks: As many of you have heard by now... at least I think you have...I'm moving to Arkansas sometime in the next 3 years (hopefully sooner than later). I've decided to give up my personal ban on guns and get one to go with my growing collection of daggers. Any suggestions on what kind of hand gun I should get?

Duet: A Beretta!

Heero & Trowa: *roll eyes, simultaneously* MAGnum...

Duet: You shut the hell up! Magnum's have too much kickback. Berettas are perfect.

Duo: Just get a .45 Colt. It's an even compromise.

Wu Fei: I thought we agreed Glocks were the greatest guns ever?

Quatre: They are! You can bury them in the sand, then come back for them a week later and they'll still fire! *elaborate hand motions*

Duet: <.< Why would you bury your gun in the sand, you little desert weasel?

Quatre: ...to dig it out and shoot people later. o.o

September 4th, 2004

Iruka Yuywell (Alisha) asks:  Last Question. I'm considering legally changing my name from *cringes* Whelchel to Yuywell. Any objections?

Duet: Yuywell... Well, you'll be the only one in the world... On the other hand, you'll be the envy of every teenage Gundam Wing one times two fangirl.

Duo: You should just change your name to Maxwell. *grins and arches eyebrows suggestively*

Quatre: Or Yuy... and marry someone with the last name Maxwell.

Tori: Then go on "A Wedding Story" and make sure they refer to you only by your last names!

Heero: We need more Yuys in the phonebook... *frowns* There are plenty to Maxwells and Bartons and Winners and tons of Changs... but never any Yuys.

Wu Fei: The world could always use more Dorlians and Schubeichers and Catalonias and Kushrenadas and Merquises and...and...

Duet: *helpfully* ...Peacecrafts?

Wu Fei: O.O Po...ez...ess

Quatre: Poseurs?

Wu Fei: >__< NO, NOT POSUERS! The plural of Sally's last name!

NachoManLance (Lance) asks:  Concerning the human coded as "CaliGurl" in the last chapter, don't be afraid to go to San Diego. It's a very beautiful place and the beaches and stuff there is awesome. But you guys have been there before? When? Planning on going back at all?

Heero: Yes, we've been there. No, we're never going back. Ever. On pain of death.

Duo: *cell phone launches into a cheery midi rendition of 'Don't Fear The Reaper'*

Wu Fei: Do ALL your cell phones play that now?

Duo: No. Avy's plays 'The Hymn Of The Fayth'... *stands up, answers phone, and walks off*

Duet: o.o No fair... He's escaping... *pouts, then grabs Wu Fei by the front of the shirt* CALL MY CELL PHONE! O.O

Wu Fei: Uhhh... *pulls out cell phone and calls Duet*

*awkward silence in which nothing happens*

All: *look expectantly at Duet*

Duet: ....sonofabitch....where's my phone? *looks around*

Duo: *walks back in, closing his phone and frowning* Avery just got evacuated.

Trowa: That sucks... But she'll be fine.

Duo: *opens phone and calls someone else*

Tori: Who are you calling now?

Duo: Rach. I want to see if she can call Kate and Ivy and everyone to make sure they're alright.

Heero: *pauses, opens mouth*

Trowa: O.\\\ DON'T. He will KILL you.

Duo: *waits, then makes a face and starts yelling*

Heero: *stands up* Give me that.... *takes the phone away* Rach, you have any of the numbers of the girls in Florida? Yeah, we talked to Avy. No one else? Alright... thanks. See you later. Bye, babe. *hangs up and hands the phone back to a pouting Duo*

Duo: *mimicking* "Hi, you've reached Rachel's house of LUV! If you're interested in hot, wild sex, press one! If you're looking for a compensated date, press two! If you're a Gundam boy in need of oral, press three! For steamy phone sex, stay on the line!"

All: *laughing*

Duo: X.x That girl's gonna give me grey hair...

Duet: She's not your daughter, Duo... She's your ex-girlfriend... And MY mistress!

Duo: *narrows eyes* Alright! Show of hands! Who here touched her!?

Duet: *quickly raises both hands and grins*

Heero & Trowa: *sigh and raise hands*

Duo: *glares at them*

Wu Fei: ...*raises hand*

Duo: WHAT!? GOD DAMNIT!

Quatre & Tori: *exchange glances*

Tori: I've robbed enough cradles. *nods to Heero*

Quatre: Well, I'm gay...

Duo: *grabs arm and winces* I think I'm having a heart attack...

Heero: *yells out* Trowa had sex with your sister!

Duo: *falls over and closes eyes*

All: O.O ... O.O

Quatre: ...did we kill him?

Duet: *crawls over to Duo, rolls him onto his back, and sits on him* Duuuuuooooooooo... o.o

Duo: *doesn't move*

Duet: O.O Duo? *pokes his cheek* Duo??? *looks back at Quatre for help*

Quatre: *sighs and rolls his eyes* His pulse, Du.

Duet: Oh yeah... *feels his neck, then leans down to hear his breathing* I...think he's alive. o.o

Wu Fei: You should take off his pants.

Duet: ...and what would that accomplish?

Wu Fei: ... *shrugs* ...pants-less-ness?

Duet: ¬_¬ Why don't we pool our intellects and think of a REASONABLE and HELPFUL idea...?

All: *sit silently for a moment*

Tori: ...well, you could take his pants off.

Duet: X.x *slaps her forehead*

Heero: Maybe if we ignore him, he'll get bored being dead and come back to life to play with us.

Quatre: Wait... I think this is one of those situations where we use a Tarentino film for reference!

Duet: Quatre! You're a genius! Think back to Kill Bill...

Trowa: No. Pulp Fiction. Give him an adrenaline shot to the heart.

Duet: Alright, but we don't have any adrenaline...

Wu Fei: We can use apple juice! It has the same number of letters!

Duet: Genius! But we don't have any superlong needles...

Trowa: We have a turkey baster!

Duet: *level stare at Trowa* Now that's just impractical...

Heero: Do we have any more heroine needles?

All: *deathglare Heero*

Heero: *meekly* ...left over from a long long time ago where we were less wise to the fact that drugs are concentrated evil?

Trowa: There's hasn't been a needle in this house since Quatre saw Requiem For A Dream.

Duet: Good. Needles scare me.

Heero: o.o Don't worry, Duet. We know that well.

Tori: o.o So far this answer has yielded the most information yet. And it's also strayed the furthest from the question. o.o

Duet: *glares down at Duo* Game's over. Wake up now or I'll touch your penis.

Duo: *opens one eye* ...was that supposed to be a threat, Duet?

Duet: You're awake!

Duo: *closes eye* No I'm not. Touch me.

Duet: *latches on to him* DON'T DIE! I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH, SKISHY HEAD! XD

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: I think Lucia once mentioned a project to blend the T2M and JSNC into one group. While I'm against the matter (no offense if any was taken), would any of you be willing to go through with it? Or alternatively, have you thought about being more active with the T2M?

Trowa: Personally, I think it works better separately.

Wu Fei: Yeah, it's like the government. You know, with the Republicans and the Democrats and...that...stuff...

Duet: Bicameral legislature?

Wu Fei: That one.

Heero: Personally, I look at it more like the separation of Church and State...

Quatre: The theoretical ideal completely non-present in the past four years?

Heero: ...yes.

Quatre: There's been quite a bit of mixing already, but I think it works best when there's a T2M and a JSNC to at least claim as your primary...loyalty....

Trowa: *snickers* Loyalty?

Duo: I wouldn't call it a loyalty... Maybe that's where the big difference is... T2M is this whole hierarchy with positions and order and...stuff. Where as the ladies and everyone...the Jump Start Numbers people... We're just one big...anarchy. We just sort of hang out and have fun and don't really have a purpose other than...being cool.

Wu Fei: So you're anarchists.

Duo: No. ...yes. ....no. We just exist in anarchy.

Duet: But there can be no such thing as anarchy-

Quatre: NO. We're NOT having the anarchy discussion again.

Duet: *pouts* I hate you.

Heero: *pauses, looks around, locks eyes with Quatre and grins* The fight. What does it mean and where does it come from? An essay.

Quatre: *laughs and grins* Homo sapien. A Man. He's alone in the universe. A punker. Still a man! He's alone in the universe... But he connects!

Heero: How!?

Quatre: They hit each other. Ooo... No clear way how to evaluate whether you're alive. Now... Complications! A reason to fight! Somebody different. Difference creates dispute. Dispute is a reason to fight. Now to fight is a reason to feel pain. Life is pain. So to fight, with reason!, is to be alive...with reason! Final analysis... to fight! A reason to live. *nods to Heero*

Heero: *puts up hands* Keep going!

Duet: Yeah!

Quatre: Alright... ^__^* Problems and contradictions: I am an anarchist. I believe there should be no rules, only chaos. Fighting appears to be chaos, and when we slam around in a pit at a show, it is. But when we fight for a reason, like rednecks, there's a system. We fight for what we stand for: chaos. But fighting is a structure, fighting is to establish power, power is government, and government is not anarchy. Government is war, and war is fighting. Circle goes like this: Our redneck skirmishes are cheaper versions of conventional warfare. War implies extreme government because wars are fought to enforce rules or ideals, even freedom. But other peoples's ideals forced on someone else, even if it is freedom, is still rule. NOT anarchy. This contradiction is becoming clear to me in the fall of '02. Even as early as my first party...why did I love to fight? I framed it, but still I don't understand it. It goes against my beliefs as a true anarchist. But even if there was competition, fighting, capitalism, government, THE SYSTEM, it's what we did. it's what we always did.

Duet: Rednecks kicked the shit out of punks, punks kicked the shit out of mods, mods kicked the shit out of skinheads, skinheads kicked the shit out of metalheads, and metalheads beat the living shit out of new wave-ers, and the new wave-ers did nothing. They were the new hippies. What was the point?

Quatre: Final summation?

Quatre & Duet:  NONE!

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Who can actually sleep in the car?

Trowa: It's an acquired skill.

Quatre: Trowa here can actually sleep while driving!

Trowa: ¬_\\\

Duet: We've had a lot of long car rides. Long train rides... long flights... long bus rides... Hell, we lived out of tour buses for four or five summers. We can sleep though anything.

Trowa: Duet here can actually sleep through sex.

Duet: If I ever do it's because you guys aren't doing your job. *arches eyebrows*

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Trowa, I have been enlightened by the wise saying "Silence is golden", and I admire how well you cope with everyone by being silent (at least most of the time). Just shedding some attention on you, since you're my second-favorite pilot ^_^

Trowa: Second favorite!? Who's your favorite!? ...and don't you DARE say Duo...

Duo: What's wrong with me?!?

Duet: Boys, boys, boys... There's no shame in being second when I'M his first choice! I mean...c'mon! Check these out! *looks down and squishes her boobs*

Wu Fei: *opens mouth and pauses* No... I can't compete with that.

Trowa: Who said you were his favorite, Duet!?

Duet: He did the other night! Such a sweet boy... I got dinner and a movie before he rocked my world. ^__^

Quatre: *gasps* Oh my gosh, no way! That's what he said to ME!

Heero: Girls... that's what we men call "pillow talk".

Duet & Quatre: *pout*

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Off-the-bat question number one: Hi Duet!

Duet: *points with burning conviction at the laptop* SEE!? He loves ME best! ^___^ Hi, Lance! *blows a kiss*

Quatre: *stares at his hands* I feel so... used...

Duo: *pats Quatre on the back* It's alright, girlfriend... There's plenty of men out there!

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Is there another way to bond with the ladies BESIDES being fed yaoi lemon/lime stories? I'm the innocent guy in the group (and one of the few males), it comes with the contract.

Duo: Um...

Heero: You could- ...no...

Quatre: There's always... Ty Pennington... *sighs and gets a dreamy, faraway look in his eyes*

Wu Fei: ...I think that qualifies as a yaoi lemon...

All: *sit and think for a minute*

Trowa: Alright, what are the common topics in the chats?

Duo: *holds up hand and puts a finger down for each point* Homoerotica, Bush-bashing, homoerotica, homoerotic anime fan art/fiction, and what's going on with us, a.k.a. homoerotica. ...and sometimes we talk about hamsters.... but I guess that falls under homoerotica too.

Heero: Everything seems to find its way back to homoerotica.

Duet: God Bless the chats!

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Anyone wanna trade cats? I have a fine Calico respectfully named "NachoKitty" who's very energetic, enjoys playing with pipe cleaners, strings and her own food, and runs around at lightning speed at 2AM. In return, I'd like for one of the big, lazy kitties who are easy to cuddle ^_^

Duo: Well, you can't have Skitters.

Heero: And you can't have Pocky...

Tori: Ooo I'll trade you a snake! Or a lizard! Or some birds! ...or a potbellied pig! They're fat and slow!

Wu Fei: You really should open your mom's house up for tourists...

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Off-the-bat question number two: You all like Mac & Cheese so much, why haven't you tried putting ketchup on it?

Quatre: Because ketchup is gross. It's red and slimy and doesn't belong on my cheesy Blue Box goodness.

Duet: *gags* That's how Avy eats her Mac and Cheese... So gross...

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: What are your guys' favorite videogame songs? I like "Liberi Fatali", which is weird because I don't play any of the Final Fantasy games. Possibly because I'm a die-hard "Nintendo Nerd".

Heero: Mario Twins!!!

Trowa: Hey, Spchlain!

Heero: Shiggity, shiggity shwah!

Trowa: Guess what, idiot! What you do today?

Heero: I-

Trowa: BAOHM! Hey, I got a new Super 88 system!

Heero: You did not...

Trowa: Swear to God! I got it at Chunkey's for two dollars.

Heero: Oh yeah? Let me see it. *pauses* Wow. That's pretty-

Trowa: Yeah, you like that, idiot!

Heero: I do.

Trowa: I got it! You don't! Shut up.

Heero: God damn.

Trowa: Hey-Hey guess what!
Heero: What?

Trowa: It has new game.

Heero: What game?

Trowa: I want to play it! It is called "Mario Twins!" They look that same!

Heero: Wow!

Trowa: Good God... They look so God damn like the same person... I say to one of them, "You want ice cream cone?" Both of them say, "Yes!"

Heero: How in the hell...

All: *giggling*

Wu Fei: That one's good... and the Zelda song from System of a Down!

Heero: Oh damn! How does that go again?

Duet: Link. He come to town! Come to saveeeeee the Princess Zelda!

Heero & Duet: Gonin put her away! Now the children don't play! But they will when Link save the day! Hallelujah!

Quatre: Gonin? Who in the hell...?

Heero & Duet: *ignore* Link! Save up your hearts! So you can SHOOT your sword with POWER! And when you're down the fairy will come around and *mumbling, mumbling* TOWER! Now Link has saved the day! Doggonnit, Link is great! Now Zelda is free and now Link our hero shall be, LINK! I think your name shall go down into history!

Tori: Amazing how you can memorize all that stuff... but should I ask you to, say, give me the quadratic equation...

Duo: The quadrowhowhatnow?

Duet: *turns up nose defiantly* negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC all over two A.

Tori: Duet, you don't count.

Duo: Where are all these letters coming from!?

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Have you all heard of the radio show "Loveline" by Adam Corrolla and Dr. Drew?

Quatre: No... o.o

Duet: Isn't Adam Corolla the guy from "The Man Show"?

Wu Fei: Could be...

Duet: I wanna be on that show... *pouts* I wanna be a Juggie.

Heero: Kids these days... no morals!

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: And lastly, I'd like to know how long I've been in contact with you guys. In the last chapter someone said something about getting pics of you guys after one year of chatting, and I'm just curious how much longer I have to go.

All: *stare Duo down*

Duo: What!? I said "sketchy pics". *grins*

Heero: *snorts, then chuckles* Duo, you're quite the dude...

Duo: AND you hafta be tight with my old girlfriend. She owns the pics. There's no real *bunny quotes* "timeline" for the pics, anyway. I think we just gotta trust ya.

Wu Fei: Do we trust him? *grinning*

Quatre: Obviously not. I mean, he apparently has all these nachos... but has he ever shared with us?

Wu Fei: The man's got a point. Our diets have been dangerously devoid of nachos for some time now.

Duet: *giggles* That sounded like a Cheetos commercial... ... Oh man... I must always come off as high... *more giggling*

Quatre: *starts laughing with Duet*

Trowa: NOTHING is FUNNY! STOP LAUGHING!

Everyone Else: *starts snickering and laughing*

Duo: ... ... ... ... ...Alexander!!!! *snerk* ...*giggle* ...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Trowa: *cracks up and starts laughing too* Oh my God...we're all on drugs...

October 20th, 2004

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks:  Word association for Duo and Duo only! The words are: Shuichi, Straw, Molesting Yourself, Deer.

Duet: Duo, seductive, Hello Kitty, Urban Deer Hunting.

Duo: Not me, Waterproof, DTD, Cross country.

Heero: How did you get 'cross country' from 'deer'?

Trowa: Oh, please don't tell me you forgot that…

Heero: Forgot… OH! OH, when he ran into the deer!

Duo: Fucking running cross country in the middle of deer mating season in New Jersey… The fucking thing ran right into me!

Heero: *laughing* I remember now…

Wu Fei: We should go urban deer hunting again…

Duet: It's kinda cruel. O.o

Quatre: We could get in Peace million II and go urban deer hunting with the car…

Wu Fei: And then take the deer home and put it in the lo mein??

Duet: Sure! Fresh killed venison lo mein!

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Alright, read this and give me your honest opinion on if I should commit my mother.  My Mother: *shouts from downstairs* D!  Monkeys have taken over New York! Me: *sitting in front of the computer in chat room* o_o What the hell, mother?! My Mother: I...have no idea...

Trowa: Sounds like your mom was watching Planet of the Apes…

Heero: You mom sounds hot…

Duo: Heero, you got a thing for moms or something?

Heero: Tori's a mom…

Duo: Point…

Heero: And I'd totally do your step-mom…

Wu Fei: While Trowa does your sister in the next room…

Trowa: And Wu Fei does Rachel in the basement…

Duo: *narrows eyes* If I ever kill myself, all of your names will be featured prominently in my suicide note.

Quatre: Awww… Duo… You can't expect your friends to pass up such great women!

Duo: And what about you, Q? Got your eyes on my dad?

Quatre: Heck no… Got my eyes on Chris. ^__^

Tori: Quatre, do you fall head-over-heels in love with every guy you date?

Quatre: I'm not head-over-heels!!!

Duet: He's just head-between-legs…

Quatre: *shoves Duet playfully* At least I don't have a huge stomach so boys still find me attractive.

Duet: *eyebrows peak* Do I really look that bad?

Quatre: Not at all, Duet… It's something beautiful happening inside you!

Duet: That's just a nice way of saying I'm not beautiful on the outside.

Quatre: *looks helplessly at Duo and Heero*

Duo: Nu-huh… I suck at this. She takes everything I say the wrong way and then I get hit.

Heero: *looks at Duet* Mrs. Maxwell, you could never, ever in a million years be called ugly. Not for how you look, what you do, what you say, or how you think. We'll always find you attractive, no matter what.

Duo: *glances sideways at Heero* That's enough, Romeo. Let's not tangle the marriages now…

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Wu Fei, wanna help me bring my grade in Chemistry? o_o I think I have an F...or Mr. H coulda made a new grade just for me... like, grade Z.

Wu Fei: Errr… maybe in biology…. But Chem is not my strong suit.

Heero: What are you talking about, Fei? You have GREAT chemistry with cute, young girls!

Wu Fei: *arches eyebrow*

Duet: *jumps in* Yeah, it's perfectly natural for you to want to experiment!

Quatre: And who knows? You just might forge a very strong bond! ^__^

Duet: ….that was lame…but you're cute, so we'll let you have it.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Tori, what annoys you most as an author; people who flame even though you give them plenty of warnings, or stupid reviewers who don't stop to think that there is a reason for you ending something the way you did?

Tori: Hmmm… Out of all the stupid people on fanfic sites…the ones I hate MOST are the fucking IDIOTS who decide to REPORT my harmless fics that have been around since BEFORE THEY WERE EVEN MEMBERS!

All: O.O

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Alright, I was rereading LTTP, and I found the question about Heero's most embarrassing moment, so, everyone except Heero, what's your most embarrassing moment?

Duo: Easy. Running into a deer. *looks at Duet*

Duet: Mmmmm… probably that time the bottom half of my costume fell off during that one skit… and…um… yeah, you were all there. They don't need to know. *blushes*

Wu Fei: *pats Duet on the back* It's okay… That was probably the most sex half those fanboys'll EVER have…

Duet: Why don't YOU tell YOUR embarrassing story?

Wu Fei: Oooooohhhh yeeeaaaaahhhh… *grins* That time at confession when Trowa and Duo dared me to moon the priest through the screen and they convinced me that he couldn't see me at all… then the nun opened the door on me… *chuckles*

Everyone Else: *laughs*

Wu Fei: *serious face* Yeah, I got two hour detention and a guardian/teacher conference for that.

Trowa: Oh man… Good times… *smiles*

Quatre: *shakes head* I think my most embarrassing was that time when I was real little and that dog knocked me over and tried to… *pauses, looks to the others for help*

Heero: …do you?

Quatre: *blushes* Yeah… stupid dog…

Trowa: My worst was that time I got called down to guidance and the idiot secretary forgot to turn off the switch and the whole school heard her say, "Honestly, if Trowa and that Winner boy can't keep their hands off each other at school, I can't imagine what it must be like at that house…"

Duo: Oh man… I SO remember that… *laughs* Everyone in my class was like "GASP!"

Wu Fei: No, Duo… Only YOU say the word "gasp!"

Tori: Ta-daa, guys! That was the last question! ^__^ And Adrian's only FOUR months old!

Heero: *laughs* Not six… but close!