Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Letters To The Gundam Pilots ❯ Chapter 12 ( Chapter 13 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Tori: Ack! It's been so long… When I got e-mails labeled "Questions" in my inbox, I was like "What the fuck? Are these surveys?"

Quatre: Twenty one… No wonder she's senile.

Tori: …Hey, Quatre. Go buy alcohol. OH WAIT! YOU CAN'T!

Quatre: I don't drink anyway, Tori.

Tori: >__<

Quatre: o.o Hold still! *reaches for Tori's head* Is that a grey hair?

Tori: AHHH! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!

Quatre: *grins*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ < p class="MsoNormal c5">

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: Who's the hottest; Yuna, Rikku, or Paine (I'm talking FFX-2)?

Wu Fei: That's tough…

Duo: I've always been more of a Rikku fan.

Heero: Yeah, Rikku had kind of a weird look with the big headband, but she's still my favorite.

Quatre: I like… Tidus.

Trowa: I like Yuna.

Duo: *rubs his forehead and looks at Trowa*

Trowa: I CAN'T HELP IT!

Wu Fei: I guess I like Yuna to... but not the same one Trowa does. *grins*

Trowa: Not even halfway into the first question... I hate you, Wu Fei.

Duo: Ha! Now you know how much it sucks.

Duet: "…but in my arms, she was always... Lolita."

Trowa: Duet! That's not helping.

Duet: ^___^ I know.

~
Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: Duo, is Avery straight or bi? Cause she looks hot/kawaii in her Yuna cosplay.

Heero: She takes after Duo in every other way... why wouldn't she be bi?

Duo: Wow, everyone wants Avery... Must be in the blood. *smirks and winks at Tori*

Tori: ¬__¬ *deadpan* Oh, Duo. Touch me now.

Duo: See? Irresistible.

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: So, who is the best GF/Aeon/Summon/whatever-other-names-they-go-by? I want to make a religion to worshipping Bahamut. *worships*

Duet: Yojimbo's the best!!! I love a hot male prostitute. ^__^

Tori: Explains your choice of company...

Duet: *sticks her tongue out and smiles with her mouth wide open a.k.a. 'the Kakihara grin'*

Tori: You're a freak.

Duo: I like Odin. Any Shinigami's cool in my book, but this one gets to ride a six-legged horse. Plus he had the coolest opening sequence.

Trowa: I think I actually like Djinn the best... Er, was that his name? You know, the one that came in the lamp in FFVIII? And he had that bad-ass attack with all the bats?

Heero: Yeah, I think that's the name. I have to agree with Lucia here, though. Bahamut kicks ass in every game. He looks the best in seven and ten though.

Quatre: I like Valefore. I know he's not the strongest, but he was the first aeon I got in ten and I really liked the initial summoning scene.

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: First thing that comes to mind: Ballpoint Pen

Duet: The last thing I ate.

Duo: >__< STOP EATING THE PENS! I didn't just buy a whole bag so you could chew the ends off all of 'em.

Duet: o_o Shut yo' mouth, bitch. I have an oral fixation. Besides, they're, like, a dollar for fifty of 'em.

Heero: I hate these questions.

Wu Fei: 'Oral fixation' will never stop sounding dirty.

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: First thing that comes to mind: Ford

Duo: Mustang.

Duet: Prefect.

Quatre: Crap cars.

Wu Fei: Oregon Trail.

Tori: What the hell?

Wu Fei: You know... Where you had the little covered wagon and you had to get from one end of the trail to the other? And they asked if you wanted to ford a river or wait for the ferry...

Tori: Your poor country with its low-tech games... ^__^*

Heero: I remember that game... All we did was "buy: bullets" "go hunting" "toss: meat".

Duet: And I always got syphilis and died before we got to the second fort. *crosses arms* I hate that game.

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: First thing that comes to mind: News
Quatre: George Bush.

Tori: o.o Be careful with the politics in the fics. These are for entertainment, not for pissing people off.

Duet: You're underestimating the entertainment value of pissing people off.

Quatre: *leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his folded hands* I wasn't going to soapbox. I was just remarking that "news" reminds me of "Bush" because whenever I watch the news, there's always something about him.

Wu Fei: Eek! That's his punk pose!

Quatre: …"eek?"

Duo: So, the punk and the innocent… Which half of you is Evan more in love with, Q?

Quatre: The lower half.

Tori: He's so cute when he's like this.

Quatre: *sits back up* Stop that…

Trowa: You should go undercover and join the Young Republicans and maybe you'll get to see Bush in person.

Duet: *narrows eyes, coldly* And slit his throat…

Trowa: No, all he has to do is give Bush "the look". Then walk past him and whisper "I'm going to kill you."

Heero: That is SO my thing.

Duo: Sorry, Heero. You're just not bad-ass anymore. You're all "Whee! Direct connect! ALASKA! Girl talk! Let's be the lead in the school play!"

Heero: T__T To~ri! Duo's picking on me.

Tori: Duo, stop picking on Heero. You'll damage his delicate psyche.

Heero: Haha! You got yelled at, stupidface!

Duo: Oh yeah!? Well you're not coming to my birthday party!

Heero: *pouts, lip quivers, turns and hides face in Tori's shoulder*

Tori: *pats his leg* It'll be okay… Be a big boy.

Heero: *fake sobs*

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: First thing that comes to mind: Small

Wu Fei: Fun-sized candy bars.

Trowa: Triple A batteries.

Quatre: Dimes.

Heero: Feet.

Duet: My conscience.

Duo: Um.. Chihuahuas.

Trowa: She said "small", not "non-existant", Duo.

Duo: What? Chihuahuas exist…

Trowa: I meant Duet.

Duet: Why you hate'n on Chihuahuas!?

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: First thing that comes to mind: Brittany Spears

Duet/ Heero/ Duo: Hot!/Sexy!

Quatre: Female.

Wu Fei: White.

Trowa: Blackjack.

Tori: Blackjack?

Trowa: Because Duo sings "Hit me, baby, one more time" every time he has less than a seventeen.

Quatre: You really think she's that hot?

Duo: Yeah!

Duet: I don't care what her anti-fans say… She's pretty.

Heero: She's not Tori… but she's hot. *macaroni and cheese smile at Tori*

Tori: Sure, Heero. Smile at the BALLOON.

Heero: You are NOT a BALLOON! You are a pregnant woman! *awkward pause, thinks* You're that much more beautiful for bringing life into this world!

Tori: <.< What book did you read that one out of?

Heero: *hangs head in shame* I read it on-line...

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: Duet, I know Jack Sparrow's completely yummy and all, but what do you think of dark, intelligent, sexy Secret Window Johnny Depp?

Duet: Nah… Half Depp's charm as Sparrow is the pirate-ness and the smart-ass-…ness. I'm not interested in screwing boring old authors.

Tori: That's not what you were saying last night.

Duet: Shut up, tubby. *sticks tongue out*

Tori: T__T Woe is me.
~

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: We know PJ deserved the eleven wins, but if someone else could have won in any categories, who and which?

Tori: …who which what the hell now?

Heero: Eleven wins in categories?

Duet: …what categories?

Wu Fei: Who's PJ?

Duo: Is he people?

Trowa: People?

*pause*

Quatre: … … …there was light?

All: *confused*

~
Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: I like Jason Mraz's music. By how much does that lower my PS2 Ubergeek level?

Duet: ¬__¬ Don't worry… The people at Bandai love Mraz too.

Trowa: And Evanescence.

Duet: But only "The Remedy"

Trowa: And only "Going Under"

Duet: *exchanges look with Trowa* So they play those two songs…

Trowa: And ONLY those two songs…

Both: OVER AND OVER AND OVER! >__<

Wu Fei: Wow, they're like Shinji and Asuka from that episode of Eva...

~
Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: Yeast is overrated, Duo. Leave Trowa alone.

Trowa: ///__^

Duo: It's not fair, Trowa.. Everyone likes you better…Even when all you do is sit there and fail at initiating even the most awkward and pitiful of conversations.

Trowa: You smell like pea souuuuup!

Duo: DAMNIT, TROWA!

Trowa: *grins*

~
Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: Wu Fei, I got you as the pilot I'm most similar to. Thanks for being an awesome guy! ^.^

Wu Fei: Uh, sure! No problem!

~
Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: How much would I have to pay you guys to murder Orlando Bloom (or at least his damned fangirls)? Do you take check, cash, or charge?

Duo: *leans forward, mafia style, and flicks the side of his nose with his thumb* Depends… Is he in costume or not?

Duet: In costume.

Duo: *puts hands up* No can do… Even I fall victim to his masculine wiles.

Lucia Iris Legaia Tanaka asks: And if we can ask Avery questions, Avery, what dressphere is the best?

Duo: Um, she doesn't live with us. She lives with dad and her mom.

Duet: But in the absence of Avery, we do have... TROWA!

Trowa: A plague upon your house. >_\\\

Duet: A Jewish one?

Trowa: Yes, one of lawyers weilding matzah bread and sharpened Stars of David.

Wu Fei: You live in this house too, Trowa.

Trowa: Hmmm... Then I'll have to think of a more benevolent plague...

Duet: How about puppies???!?!?

Trowa: ... -__\\\ Sometimes I wonder if you have split personalities.

CaliGurl asks: OMG!!! I found your stuff on ff.net and followed the link here from your profile and I love this!!! Your characters are so alive I feel like they're really in the room with me!!!

Duo: *grins* It's because we are alive.

Heero: *narrows eyes* And we really are in the room with you.

*pauses*

Heero: BEHIND YOU! ROAR!

Trowa: *arches eyebrow at Heero* Was he always like this?

Quatre: An idiot? Yes. A flamboyant idiot? ...no. I think the ladies brought that out in him.

THREE MONTHS LATER...

Duo: Damn, Tori... This fic is, like, a chapter a year now.

Tori: It's just been a series of unfortunate events. First, you were getting married, then I got pregnant, then there was Christmas/Comiket, then Avery, then Microsoft Word stopped working so I have to work in wordpad which means no Spellcheck...

Heero: <.< Only one of those was unfortunate.

Duo: Yeah, Heero, way to get her pregnant.

Heero: I WAS TALKING ABOUT WORD NOT WORKING!

Duo: *grins* ^__^

CaliGurl asks: I was reading though some of the fics and I get the impression you don't like Avril Lavigne. Why not? Her lyrics are so incredible, I just love her sound! You should give her a chance!

Quatre: *twitching*

Wu Fei: O.O *puts hand over Quatre's to keep him still*

Duo: We've heard her music. We don't like it. She's a pop princess trying to act punk, then she takes back everything she said to save her own ass. She inspired a whole 'nother wave of poseurs. Aaaand *looks at Quatre* ..."Allah hates poseurs?"

Quatre: *nods* You forgot to say "she's a weak role model." Without that, our gripe with her just seems like a petty complaint.

Duo: Damn... I'll get it next time.

Quatre: On that note! Go listen to Juliana Theory!

Heero: NO! Smooshing Pumpkinnnnnnnssss!

Tori: STOP! We're moving on. No more forcing your musical tastes on the impressionable children.

Duet: *whispers* Hey Mercedessssssssss...!

Tori: DUET!

Duet: o.o

CaliGurl asks: Have you guys ever thought about doing another season of Gundam Wing? It would be so great if you did.

Wu Fei: Hah! Like we're in charge of that! Depends what Sotsu and those guys wanna do... We're just mascots, not anime characters.

Duet: If we were in charge... that would be awesome! ^__^

Heero: We could do it webcam style! Tape the whole day, then put the funniest half hour into a show slot.

Duo: No way. I still say we do Gays of Our Lives. All soap-opera-y.

Trowa: Or we could do something like Reno 911.

Quatre: That would kick ass!

Wu Fei: Whatever we would start out doing... you know it'd just turn into Jackass.

Duet: Yeah, we'd have to be on HBO.

Heero: I would be creepy though... Like what if we were like the Chapelle Show and everyone just started copying the weird things we say? Or the porn thwacking... or our complete disregard for fire safety?

Trowa: That's how we weed out the weak and stupid.

Tori: Doesn't seem to be working, now does it, Trowa?

Duo: Yeah, and people already copy us anyway... We've completely destroyed our college campus... *laughs*

CaliGurl asks: Have you ever noticed that a LOT of guys in anime look like Heero? Are they cloning him like Sephie or something to put in other animes? Love ya HEEEE-CHAN! If you ever have trouble with your baby's momma, and you're in San Diego, give me a buzz! I'd totally do u. ~__^

All: O.O ...*blink*... O.O

Heero: Let's never go to San Diego again.

CaliGurl asks: Are any of you still single?

Duet, Heero, Duo, Tori, Trowa: *all point at Wu Fei and Quatre*

Quatre: Whoops! I'm gay!

Wu Fei: Traitor... o.o I mean! I'm gay with you? Remember!? Hehehe *grins and hugs Quatre*

Quatre: No he's not! Take him! TAKE HIM!

Wu Fei: I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP, WINNER!

CaliGurl asks: Quatre, were you and Trowa really getting it on during the series? Did you ever do it in the Gundam? What about in like someone else's Gundam?

Trowa: We don't...have Gundams. We live in New Jersey. And Quatre drives an IROC.

Quatre: But we did get it on during the series... ^__^

Trowa: Shhh... People don't know that. *rolls eyes*

Quatre: Hehehe... Tori's house.

Tori: o.o What did you do in my house?

Quatre: Ooooh nothing. *innocent smile*

Tori: <.< As long as it wasn't on my mat.

Trowa: Well...

Tori: SHUT UP! I don'wanna know.

*moment of silence*

Duo: *sings* He lives on my block, and drives an IROC... but he doesn't know who I ammmm...

Heero & Duo: And he doesn't give a damnnnn about me...

All: 'CAUSE I'M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG, BABY! YEAH, I'M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG, BABY! LISTEN TO IRON MAIDEN, BABY, WITH MEEEEEEEE! OOOO~OOOO~OOOO~OOOOOOOooooo.... *burst out laughing*

CaliGurl asks: Which is better, Red Bull, AMP, or Sobe?

Duet: Red Bull. You can drink it instead of eating a meal.

Quatre: Preferred drink of fencers.

Tori: And here I thought that was gallon portions of V8 Splash, Quatre.

Duet: Psh! That was so last meet.

CaliGurl asks: I've heard Asian men have small dicks, is that why you guys won't answer the size questions?

All: *burst out laughing*

Wu Fei: Hehe.. *wipes eyes* She said "dick". XD

Duet: *laughs* Small... right... Do you think Tori and I'd be pregnant if that was true?

Duo: Duet, I'm Italian, not Asian. *sticks tongue out*

Duet: When did I ever say this was your baby?

Duo: o.o Wifey? *looks genuinely hurt*

Duet: ^__^ Of course it's yours, dorkwad.

Heero: *still laughing a little* No, that's not why we won't answer the question... It's because Cat is fifteen and should have no need for such imformation.

Duet: Renee, on the other hand, is at a perfectly acceptable age.

Trowa: Damn, Wu Fei. You're getting slow. That was the perfect opening for a Duo/ lolita joke!

Duo: Trowa, shut up. You're doing my sister and she's sixteen... and Wu Fei didn't say anything because he's probably doing Rachel.

Trowa: One, I never laid a HAND on Avery. Two... hehehe, Wu Fei's doing Rachel? *turns to Wu Fei* Sweet catch!

Wu Fei: I'M NOT DOING RACHEL! .............yet.

CaliGurl asks: If you made your own slogan, to like put on a bumper sticker or t-shirt, what would it be?

Duo & Wu Fei: Drugs Are Concentrated Evil!

Quatre: I got nothing that can beat that...

CaliGurl asks: Oh! Who's got the best ass in the series?

Duet: Relena.

Trowa: Agreed.

Wu Fei: Hilde would be cute, too, if she wasn't a psycho murderess.

Duet: It was only windex... *rolls eyes* And Dorothy. She's got such a hot body. ^__^ Especially in those fencing whites...

Tori: Mmmm... But all the boys looked good in their little space suits!

Duo: Zechs looked awesome... ^__^

Heero: Zechs. Now there's a name that hasn't come up in a while.

Duet: Oh! Don't forget Noin!

Duo:Dykebait.

Duet: Faggots.

Duo: The Faggots are a good band.

CaliGurl asks: Ladies, is Wu Fei really a big sexist pig? He seems so cuddly!

Quatre: He's quite cuddly! ^__^ And not the least bit sexist.

Duo: And he can be yours for just $79.99! That's right, folks! But that's not all! Buy now and get, free, the Wu Fei Action Mercedes Benz! Drive around to see all your Chinese friends in ninja style!

Duet: Stop trying to sell him!

Wu Fei: Racial stereotypes, on the other hand, are quite common among certain members of the group. *grins*

Duo: Oh God... Racism is so stupid... 9__9 And it's not like we use them in a mean way. I'm Mike's Wife-Beating Cracka' and he's my Gat-Totin' Nigga.

Tori: Oh God... I'm gonna get flamed. T__T

Wu Fei: Shut up and go eat some rice, Tori.

Tori: Wu Fei, you're damn Chinese!

Wu Fei: Then I want some too... But we better hurry before Quatre's people fly a plane into the rice stores.

Quatre: You know, by now, my people have assimilated with the French more than anything...

Heero: I knew I always hated you. *narrows eyes at Quatre*

CaliGurl asks: Any piercings? Tattoos?

Wu Fei: Quatre's got his ear pierced. Heero too. And Duet's got both ears done. Same with Tori.

Heero: No one really has any tattoos either, except for Tori.

Tori: ^__^* Boku wa yakuza desu.

Duet: I wanna get my tattooooooos. But I'm waiting so Rach and I can go together. We're getting angel wings!

Duo: I wanna get one, too... but I don't want one that everyone else has.

Duet: That's why Rach and I are designing ours. ^__^

Tori: Mine's pretty unoriginal... just says 'kitsune'. But I love it anyway. ^__^

CaliGurl asks: Cut or uncut?

Guys: o.o Definitely cut.

Tori: …cut what?

Duet: Who asks that?

Tori: CUT WHAT!?

Heero: Inkei.

Tori: YOU CUT IT!?

All: *burst out laughing*

Tori: T__T Fuck you all.. I don't know what's going on.

Berrful Hunter (Holly) asks: Heero, I've been wondering this question for a while... o.o; What's your favorite kinda sushi? Tori can answer this too if she wants to.. HI TORI!

Heero: *alughs* That question has actually been bothering you? *shrugs* I like California rolls... but then I like pretty much any kind...as long as they have pickled ginger and wasabi. ^__^

Berrful Hunter (Holly) asks: Everyone, did you know what if you say 'haut bois' without the French accent, it sounds like you're saying "hot boys"?

Quatre: Have you ever wondered what JESUS looks like without his skimpy loincloth? WITH advanced technology, we have made a realistic image of the full Jesus!

Trowa: Is he hung like his dad? FIND OUT NOW! FREE XXX PICTURES!!!

Heero: What the freaking hell…

Duo: They are seriously on drugs. No more concerts for them.

Tori: Duo! Get off the computer!

Duo: …no.

Tori: Duo…

Duo: MAKE ME!

Duet: *rolls over the back of the couch and WUMPH!s on the other side, then tries to military crawl out of the room*

All: *watching Duet's obvious escape*

Tori: Duet!!! NO!

Duo: Go, Du, GO!!!!

Duet: *furiously military-crawling away from LTTP*

Heero: *picks her up and puts her back on the couch*

Duet: T__T No one escapes the Alcatraz...

Berrful Hunter (Holly) asks: Everyone, do any of you like Fruits Basket?? I LOVE THAT MANGA!! ^__^ Yuki is a hot sexy girly boy...

Quatre: Boys named "Yuki" usually turn out to be pretty cute. ^_^

Duo: Or boys named "Yoruyuki".

Heero: Or girls named "Tori Yuki".

Duo: Mmmmm... not so much, Heero.

Heero & Tori: *combined deathglare attaku*

Berrful Hunter (Holly) asks: Trowa, do you speak Hebrew? ^__^ I can! ...sorta. -___-;; Just barely enough to probably get myself in trouble and carry on a very basic conversation...

Trowa: Yup, I had to learn it for my bar Mitzvah and everything. I won't trouble Tori with trying to type some of it though.

Tori: o.o Ohthankgod...

Berrful Hunter (Holly) asks: Q, this isn't a question, but the kid I baby-sit looks exactly like I imagine you would as a 1-year-old. o_o ^_^ HE'S SO CUTE!!

Duo: What is this? Do you have to be 100% fag to get a girl around here!?

Quatre: Hehehe... Jealous? ^__^

Berrful Hunter (Holly) asks: Everyone, what do you think about those M-PREG fics?

Duo: They're SICK.

Duet: Typical girl fantasies, I guess... Guys dealing with childbirth. ^__^ Even though they'd die.

Heero: I saw one where Duo had a vagina on his back. *bursts out laughing*

Duo: *sticks tongue out* Gross... Who would want a vagina anywhere?

Duet: Um, girls I guess. They're kinda fun once you get past the TOM part.

Heero: No way. Nothing beats a penis.

The Master of Disguise (Rachel) asks: Wu Fei, how hot would you say Trowa is?

Trowa: Eh heh... *smiles at Wu Fei*

Wu Fei: *looks Trowa up and Down* Mmmmm... On a scale of 1 to 10... One being a hobbit, ten being... um... Who's someone who everyone can agree is really hot?

Duet: Duo.

Wu Fei: No.

Duet: Jesus.

Wu Fei: 10 being Jesus... Wait, Duet... Jesus?

Duet: Yeah! I mean, he's the Son of God! He's GOTTA be good looking!

Wu Fei: With the beard and all?

Duet: Fiiiiine... Lucifer.

Wu Fei: Better. Ten being Satan.... Trowa's a nine point seven.

Trowa: Yes! ^__^

Heero: To say Jesus would've been unfair anyway. After all, he WAS Jesus...

Trowa: I TOLD Sr. Agnes I was Jewish, not Catholic. She just said, "Good. Jesus was a Jew too." T__T

The Master of Disguise (Rachel) asks: Duo, are you any good at Chemistry? If so, can you help me not fail?

Duo: Ummm... I'm decent. What are you learning? Avagadro's number stuff, or, like, acid neutralization?

Quatre: Give it up, Duo. The school year's over by now.

Duo: Truth.

The Master of Disguise (Rachel) asks: Quatre; opinion on gay marriage/banning of.

Quatre: ^__^ They call us promiscuous, then they forbid us for committing ourselves to a single person. Fuck everyone.

The Master of Disguise (Rachel) asks: Duo; YOU'RE OLD! YOU'RE OLD! NA-NA-NA-NA-NAAA-NA!

Duo: *cries*

Heero: Hey, if he's old, we're old.

Quatre: Speak for yourself. ^__^

Heero: But you're still legal, Quatre. Always remember that. I can rape you, and I'd only get charged with the regular kind.

The Master of Disguise (Rachel) asks: What is the significance of Mr. Bean?

Wu Fei: Mr. Bean? The quiet guy that does gross stuff?

Duet: He's kinda funny, I guess.

Tori: You guys are slackin'. The replies are getting shorter.

Heero: Then let's find other amusement tonight and finish this over breakfast.

Tori: Cool. *X*

The Master of Disguise (Rachel) says: Duet; electric back massagers work well.

Duet: I know! I wanna get that Hello Kitty one!

Wu Fei: Duet... we're eating here... *gestures to piece of toast*

Heero: Gimme the AlphaBits!!!

Duo: Get your own AlphaBits!!! *pours himself a bowl* ...Hey... My AlphaBits just say "oooOOoooooOoooooO"

Heero: Those are Cheeri-O's...Where are the damn AlphaBits?

Trowa: Hehehe... *pouring himself a bowl of "Cheeri-O's" that are actually the AlphaBits*

Heero: You... bastard.

Duo: Gross... Honey Nut. Want 'em, Du? I didn't put milk in yet so you won't die.

Duet: Just leave 'em and I'll pick at them.

Tori: For narrative's sake, Trowa, Heero, and Duo are having cereal and milk, Quatre's eating an English muffin with tea, Wu Fei has eggs and coffee, Duet's eating tuna on an English muffin with coffee, and because I'm a stereotypical Asian, I'm having plain rice.

Duo: You don't need to say it out loud.

Duet: Don't tell them I'm eating tuna for breakfast... they'll think I'm weird. *totally serious*

Duo & Tori: *arch eyebrows at Duet*

Tori: Trust me, Duet... If they don't think you're weird already, canned fish isn't going to convince them. ...Okay, next question cause we got off topic.

The Master of Disguise (Rachel) asks: FUEGO!!! Fuego?

Duet: FUEGO!

Duo: FUEGO!

Heero: ALASKA!

All: *look at Heero*

Wu Fei: That seems to be his favorite response when he doesn't know the answer.

AloneBlackBullet (Renee) asks: Last chapter Duo made the statment (and I quote) "Duo: Hey! Renee's mine. " Ummm at exactly what point was it decided that I was yours? I do not recall agreeing to this. You KNOW my policy; I do not get tied down. I refuse to deny myself or anyone else good sex based on gender, color, or creed. Breast size, Cock size, smell and apperance are the only things taken into consideration...well that and no stupid people. Stupid people shouldn't get laid...they reproduce too easily.

Duo: Who else would you belong to? You know damn well you're mine. Now get BACK IN YOUR CAGE!

Trowa: *munch munch* Cereal is awesome...

AloneBlackBullet (Renee) asks: Duo, why don't you just let me fix the dang mustang already? (sheesh not like I haven't be rebuilding classics since I was 12! I need a new drag car anyway.)

Duo: *through a mouthful of AlphaBits* I sold it to my ex-girlfriend's parents. They wanted to fix it up. And there is no way in HELL I'd let you drag my car. I think I'd stop loving you if you hurt her. ... jay kay. ^__^

AloneBlackBullet (Renee) asks: It seems impossible to find a decent 3x4 doujinshi, so I've decided I should draw one. But I need models. Any volunteers? (Q, I promise to keep the bondage at a minimum)

Quatre: How about I just lend you some doujinshi from out private stash? ^__^ If you want to find the good stuff, you hafta go to the source.

Trowa: Ouch... I think I just got burned.

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: Heero, forgive me for this…but for the sake of some curious friends, would you explain the meaning of 7.5?

Heero: *stirring his cereal* So back to last night's question about Asians being small... *grins* Wu Fei and I aren't full Asian anyway. And of course I forgive you, babe.

Tori: Not at the breakfast table, dear. ^___^

Heero: I was finished answering anyway.

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: Hey, Duo, remember that time you said you'd forgive me for anything?

Duo: Yeah.... *looks at Tori questioningly*

Tori: That's it, it doesn't say anything else.

Heero: Ooo Are you worried?

Duo: *shrugs* Nope. She's just trying to make me squirm. ^__^ She wouldn't make something serious so public.

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: Duo, remember that time you called me in Drama and my ringer was on, so Ms. D dememded she answer it? And when she found out it was you, she bitched you out? ...what'd you ever do to her? She's so cool...at least some of the time.

Duo: Ahhh... She's not really mad at me. She's just pretending.

Duet: Riiight... Let's just pretend that whole thing with the swinging from the curtains never happened...

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: In honor of the Brand New concert, everyone sing your favorite Brand New verse!

Quatre: I'm so happy! ^___^

Tori: C'mon. Sing.

Duet: Quatre, Heero, sing with me... You know mine. ^__^

Quatre: I call Heero starting.

Heero: X.x Fine... *wipes mouth* Hm. *sings* Is that what'cha call a getaway? Tell me what'cha got away with... 'Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish. I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.

Duet: So have another drink and drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all the roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt and again when your head goes through the windshield.

Quatre: You guys are good! ^__^

Heero & Duet: SING!

Quatre: X.x ...is that what you call tact. You're a subtle as a brick and as small at that. So let's end this call and end this conversation...

Heero & Duet, then Quatre: And is that what'cha call a getaway. Tell me what'cha got away with... 'Cause you left the phrase from the ties you severed... 'n when you say 'best friends' means FREINDS FOREVER.

Tori: Great, guys! ^__^ Duo... Wu Fei...

Duo & Wu Fei: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS 'CAUSE WE'RE YOUNG AN' IN LOVE!

Tori: <.< Very nice... Trowa?

Trowa: Ummm... Die young and save yourself.

Wu Fei: Alright, Tori. Get to it.

Tori: Get to what?

Wu Fei: Singing. You like Brand New...

Tori: Well, ummm... ^__^ *says it, doesn't sing* What difference does this difference in age make? I know how it ends. *looks at Duo* Kill me quick. Call 911. I'm already dead but someone should be caught and held responsible for this bloody mess.

Duo: *groans* C'mon, guys...

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) asks: Okay, out of all of Quatre's music, what's your favorite song? And sing your favorite verse. You're included, Quatre.

Duet: That's tough... I like all his music.

Quatre: ^__^

Duo: *speaks* Out of all I've learned in life, you always keep your friends close to your heart, 'cause who will help you if you're falling down? By The Ataris!!!

Quatre: Yeah, "Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start".

Trowa: ...take off every zig.

Duo & Trowa: *laugh*

Duo: Haha.. I like that whole song though. ...*pokes Heero* Go!

Heero: *grins* Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman...

Quatre: Fall Out Boy "Grand Theft Autumn".

Duet: I like that song too... But do it again, and this time all whiney like they do it!

Heero: WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT? I HOPE HE IS A GENTLEMAN!!! *laughs* No you go, Du.

Duet: 'And your love will be white nights... with pockets of moonlight... spotlighting you as you drift, the actor in this play. And you walk across the stage, take a bow and the applause, and as the curtain falls, just know that you did it all, the best that you knew how. *pauses* ...and you can hear them cheering now, so smile and show your teeth... 'Cause you know that you lived it well.' That's probably my all time favorite verse... At least from Saves The Day. ^__^ "This Is Not An Exit" was the song.

Trowa: Well, here I am... Don't know how to say this. The only thing I know is awkward silence. *grins*

Duo: Oh! That's 'Freakish'!

Quatre: Yeah, Saves The Day again. Fitting, too. *sticks tongue out at Trowa*

Duet: Look how happy he is when he gets to talk about his music. ^__^

Tori: Wu Fei...

Wu Fei: Well, Quatre always plays this one CD when he's in my car...

Quatre: Not always...

Wu Fei: Okay, usually. But I like this one song on the CD "Winterlong" where it goes "If things should ever turn out wrong and all the love we had is gone, it won't be easy on that day." I just think that's really... profound... *laughs*

Quatre: DON'T make fun of The Pixies. *pouts* My favorite... At least, my current favorite, is "Konstantine" from Something Corporate... "And you don't want to look much closer, because you're afraid to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky by now has crashed, and it did because of me." Tori's turn!

Tori: I'm the questioner, not the questionee! You can't make me do this!

Quatre: *pouts*

Tori: *says it really fast* You want apologies? Girl, you might hold your breath...until your breathing stops forever. The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips. I hope they taste of me forever.

Quatre: Fall Out Boy... "Chicago Is So Two Years Ago"

TheDeluxeWar (Rach) says: Okay... Now repeat the last one, but this time with DUO SONGS!!! (last question, I swear)

Heero: Oh, this'll be fun...

Duo: Never have I felt so well-policed... Why should I be anything but pleased? The Deluxe War, Baby! by Burning Airlines. *smirks*

Trowa: SEIG HEIL!!!

All: *burst out laughing*

Tori: Haha... And that would be by?

Trowa: Every band Duo listens to besides Burning Airlines. ///_^

Duet: I like that song by American Nightmare... "Please Die!" ... But I don't remember all the words. *thinks* I won't go because I've been there before, and it took twenty years to pick my face up off the floor. I'm not "sorry" if "things" aren't "the same"... *pauses, looks at Duo*

Duo: But sleepless nights are-

Duet: But sleepless nights are hardly worth the cheapness of your game. And if you know what I mean, then live for yourself. Because life is too short to waste it on somebody else. *looks at Duo again*

Duo: There was a time and I swear that I cared. I got burned and now I walk with this fist in the air.

Duet: *picks it up again* I don't CARE WHAT THEY SAY, they're NOT the ones that have to live with this pain. Fuck you. Black heart breaking, broken bonds. I should have known all along. Fuck you! ...

Duo: Don't talk to me. I'm as deaf as I am blind. Thanks for making me cheap and thanks for the wasted time.

Duet: ^__^ TADAA!!!

Heero: That's a good song... why don't I remember that one?

Duet: It's the one with all the yelling that you hate.

Heero: ...oh.

Midnight Wolf Angel asks:Duo, why do you call yourself the God of Death?

Duo: Merchandising.

Trowa: Because he's just as sexy as Matt Damon and Brad Pitt.

Heero, Tori, Quatre, & Wu Fei: ...?

Duet: *shields her eyes and pretends to watch the punchline sail over their heads*

Trowa: ...the other guys who play Death?

Quatre & Wu Fei: Ooooooh...

Tori: When do they play Death?

Quatre: Dogma and Meet Joe Black... respectively.

Duet: *pats Trowa on the back* There, there, buddy. I got your joke.

Midnight Wolf Angel asks:Heero, what's it like to pilot Wing Zero?

Heero: *shrugs* Like...driving... a................................... Ever played MechWarrior? *big grin* Like that... I guess.

Duo: ^__^ I hold a high score for that game at Coin Castle!

Heero: ...and I do for every other MechWarrior on Jersey's coast.

Midnight Wolf Angel asks:Trowa, how do your bangs stay like they do?

Trowa: Well, after 20 years of brushing them forward... It's just sort of their natural state. They're no, like, three feet long or something. They're reasonable bangs.

Midnight Wolf Angel asks:Wu Fei, why are you so stubborn?

Wu Fei: I'm not really that stubborn. No more so than anyone else...

Midnight Wolf Angel asks:Quatre, what's it like to have sisters, cause I'm an only child?

Quatre: I don't really know if I have any biological sisters... But I do have Tori and Duet, and as far as I can measure by them, having sisters is pretty awesome.

Wu Fei: Sisters you've had SEX with.

Quatre: That was before I saw the light. ¬__¬

Duet: Homosexuality's the light now? I always thought it was, yanno...death. Or heaven.

Quatre: No, it's definitely gay-hood. Homos have enough sense to change their light bulbs.

Duo: Hey! I will CHANGE that light bulb when someone GOES up there and gets RID of the spiders.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Word Relation: Mac & Cheese -

All: *groan*

Trowa: I haaaate theeeseee...

Tori: Tough crap, crybaby.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Word Relation: Pajama Party -

Heero: Crap.

Duet: Turd. *giggles*

Wu Fei: Poo! XD

Duo: Caca!

Quatre: Oh... my... God. Trowa, they're making poo jokes.

Trowa: ...I wouldn't dignify what they're doing with such an honorable title as "joke".

Duet: Poop! *collapses with the others, all giggling*

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Word Relation: Harry Potter -

Duo: Pooter!

Duet: Cast list of little children I wouldn't mind having my way with.

Heero: What Duet said.

Quatre: Um... my pink hair?

Trowa: *pauses* I think that merits an explanation, Quatre.

Duo: *laughing* Nah, I've already explained the incident in detail to the three whole people who read this fic.

Quatre: We dressed up for the premier-

Duet: -not that any of us are real Harry Potter fans. We just like cosplay-

Quatre: *nods* and we used temporary dye to make my hair red.

Wu Fei: And as most of you recall from the previous "green hair" incident, Quatre's little blonde head holds temporary color for weeks.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Word Relation: Cow jumped over the moon -

Heero: Yeah, this is retarded. Next question, before I kill myself.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Word Relation: Gap Co.

Duo: The people that also own Hot Topic.

Quatre: I loathe Hot Topic, and all the little wanna-be's that thrive on it, with my very being. *glares away angrily*

Heero: And now, for reference's sake, the proper method in dealing with such poseurs! *gestures to Duet*

Duet: *grabs Trowa by the shirt collar* Listen, you little wanna-be... You either go home and wash off your mom's make-up an' change back into your Abercrombie shirt, or you'll get on your knees and fuckin' blow me!

Duet & Trowa: *stop, grin, and wink at Tori*

Wu Fei: *grinning* What you have just seen is a re-enactment. Any resemblances to actual people or events is completely intentional.

Quatre: *looks away* Very clever, you guys...

The Rest Was Completed During The First Days Of Our Time In Japan This Summer

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Quatre, Chai Tea or Chai green?

Quatre: Chai anything. I love chai. ^__^

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Heero, read the story Torment of Love by MoonEnvoy on fanfiction and tell me what you think... anyone else can comment if they like...

Heero: Pass.

All: *laughing*

Wu Fei: Wow... It's way too late for this... XD

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Whats wrong with Canada? I live in Alberta even though im dating an American from Kentucky...

Quatre: There's nothing wrong with Canada! Jenn's there!

Duo: And so's Nueva!

Duet: But as soon as they get out of there, so help me GOD, I'm firebombing the lot of them!

Wu Fei: Conclusion: Canada's cool, but only as long as Jenn and Nueva are there.

Duet: Oh, that's where that girl who writes the Articuno anthro fics lives too!

Duo: Yeah, but her fics are incredibly awful... Besides, Oh's the only Articuno anthro we need.

Duet: Don't make fun... Rach and I like those fics... *pouts* And stop calling her "Oh"! It's Tori Sasaki!

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Tori, what did Tokyo ever do to Kyoto?

Tori: It was there for me to be forced to live in and had gangs that sucked in myself and my brothers. It's disgusting and full of whores and dirty businessmen and drug addicts and yakuza. ...Tokyo City at least. The rest of the prefecture is actually very nice.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Heero, what did Kyoto ever do to Tokyo?

Heero: Nothing. Kyoto is awesome. *looks fearfully at Tori* Very, very awesome. Full of sweet, wonderful people who would never lay a mal-intentioned hand on their significant others. *big smile*

Tori: ^__^ *pats Heero's hand*

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To all, where can I find pics of you in real life if any?

Duo: Alright, here's how the process goes... You become a regular in the JSNC chats for at least...what? A year?

Duet: I'd say two or three...

Duo: Nah, Rachel and Ivy and some of them have only been there about a year. Anyway! You spend a year getting to know everyone, become real close-like... And you've gotta treat everyone nice. These are my ladies. You know... "If you wanna be my lover, gotta get in with my friends."

Trowa: ...did he just quote the Spice Girls?

Wu Fei: I... I think he did.

Duo: *smirks* ...gotta be real nice to my ex-girlfriend in particular. She's the one with the goods. You get on her good side, and in a year or so, you've got yourself some sketchy pics. That's all she can show. But there are plenty'a rules you gotta follow, trusts you gotta earn, and friends you gotta make, before you get anywhere.

Tori: Geeze... things were easier three years ago when we'd just say "No. No pics. If you really wanna see, wade through five thousand Comic Market con reports." and be done with it.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Duo, what age do you consider underage when it comes to your lovers?

Duo: I pretty much go by the legal limit... That is, under eighteen and you're illegal.

Wu Fei: What about the Lolita Clause?

Duo: I was seventeen. SEVENTEEN, DAMN YOU! It was legal!

Wu Fei: Yeah, but everyone gets a Lolita. That Talon kid's doing Lucia, right? And Tro's doing your sister...

Duo: *goes pale*

Tori: OHHHHH! What's done is done! That's in the books, baby! Duo!!! How do you feel? XD

Duo: I think I'm gonna be ill... *lays back on the floor and pulls a sheet over his head* AVERYYYYYY~!

Avery: *playing video games off to the side of the group* Oh, grow up, Duo...

Heero: And someone else's gonna be gettin' a piece of Rach this summer, eh? *jokingly elbows Wu Fei in the ribs* I must say, I'm jealous... ^__^

Duo: *points at Wu Fei, sheet still over his head, muffling him* You STAY THE HELL AWAY from her!

Tori: ¬__¬ Hi, Heero. I'm the mother of your child.

Heero: *wraps arm around Tori's shoulders and kisses her on the forehead* AND my lovely fianceé.

Tori: ^__^ I know... Just wanted attention.

Wu Fei: Haha... I wonder how many rabid fanboys out there read this enviously and bitch to themselves, *nasally voice* "I could love Tori slash Duet so~o much better than those scumbags ever could! My love is true, not lustful! You must cherish a woman, feed her like a tiny bird... water her gently like the first flowers of spring... caress her as a breeze caresses the shore on a warm day... *pushes up his glasses* And of course, she would recieve her due amout of world-rocking... once I get my wang unstuck from this hole in the middle of compact disk."

All: *collapse on each other, laughing hysterically*

Heero: Hehehe... You gotta call it a "leelee", Fei!

Wu Fei: XD The IRCers say 'leelee'! The Gamers and fanboys say 'wang'!

Duet: *still laughing* Wu Fei... you're awesome.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Is there anyone in that houshold that has slept with everyone else?

Quatre: *boredly* Everyone's had everyone else...

Duo: *sits up again, takes sheet off* Yeah! Q here's even had his share of girls!

Quatre: Women really aren't all they're cracked up to be. I mean...sure, they allow for a bit more variety, but between the...the...

Duet: *pats Q lovingly* It's okay, Quatre... You can say "tits and clits" in LTTP...

Quatre: It's all very confusing and foriegn. *narrows eyes* However, I can make an exception for the women I love most in this world...

Trowa & Heero: *both hold up pointer fingers* "Should it every come down to it, I would be more than happy to do my manly duty!"

Duet: Soot soot... *looks left* ....soot soot... *looks right* TOUMA-SANNNN! *pounces on Quatre and starts groping and caressing him*

Quatre: AHHHHH! MIKA ATTACK! YUKI, HELP!!!

Tori: Yoruyuki's out for the evening, dear.

Heero: *looks at Tori* You're a Yuki too, you know.

Tori: ...only through God... But I do believe God is entirely absent in this matter.

Quatre: *manages to pin Duet* Bad nympho! BAD!

Duet: *pouts and whines like a puppy*

~
Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To all, bondage or dominatrix...?

Duo: either... both...

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Tori, what anime do you recommend to me?

Tori: Um... Gravitation... Yami No Matsuei... Any Miyazaki... Petshop Of Horrors...

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Will you come to Edmonton to go to Animethon11?

Wu Fei: Mmmm... highly unlikely.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Evan, what's the best and worst quality of Quatre?

Quatre: ... Evan and I broke up, like, eight months ago...

Heero: A testament to how long it's been since we'e worked on this fic.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Are my questions bugging you? There's a lot of them...

Wu fei: To be totally honest...

Duet: Wu Fei...

Trowa: In all seriousness-

Duet: Trowa!

Duo: I'm not gonna lie...

Duet: DUO!

Heero: With all due respect... and I mean this in the nicest way...

Duet: *whines* Heero...!

Duo: Heero, when did you convert to Italian?

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Heero, in your opinion what's your favorite torture device to use on Duo?

Heero: Well, I've always been a fan of the remonster... but the fondue fork is not without its merits.

Quatre: Duo, Heero... Not Meatwad.

Wu Fei: Common mistake.

Heero: *laughs* Maybe 'remonster' was a bit over the top for a subtle reference, but if I'd said 'backscratcher' that would have taken us down a whole new and much less wholesome path.

Quatre: Huh?

Duet: He means we would'a thought "things to put up his butt" instead of "Meatwad torture devices".

Heero: *sideways glance at Duet* I see you've taken on the role of "the blunt one" in this round.

Duet: *level stare at Heero* Stop thinking about putting things up my husband's butt.

Heero: I'll try... *pauses* Hey! When's Rachel getting that dwarf hamster?

Duo: WAUH! *hides under blanket again*

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Duo, peanut butter or jelly?

Duo: *muffled* Jelly.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To all, can you tell I'm curious? My bfs curious as hell... guess he passed it to me... -___-

Quatre: Curious?

Duo: Bi-curious?

Duet: I think the only relevance of this "question" was for her to bring to our attention, for what is not the first time, that she, in fact, has a boyfriend.

Trowa: Duet...when you look at people... Do you ever really SEE them? Or only THROUGH them?

Duet: I'll tell you what... I can see right through you right now, Tro. For various reasons, you're worried about a statement made a couple questions back about the nature of the relationship you and Avery share. You've been very quiet, only speaking when indirectly prompted and then only in generic responses that required very little thought, suggesting your mind is elsewhere.

Trowa: *arches eyebrows* Damn...

Duet: *squeezes eyes shut and points to her temples* Your response was meant to satiate my ego and placate me in hopes that I stop publicly examining you... Ha! No chance of that. *opens one eyes a bit and looks at him, grins* You shield your true thoughts from me with images of women of questionable morals...

Trowa: *grins* I hate you... You might as well be psychic.

Duet: *straightens up again* Maybe I am! But once again... don't try and trick me. As soon as you thought I'd leave you alone, and after I mentioned "images of women" you thought about Avery again, thus completing the cycle.

Duo: *audible groan*

Trowa & Duo: Are you/ Happy now?

Duet: Not entirely... Can I keep going?

Trowa & Duo: NO!

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To all, if you could dye your hair any color what would it be?

Heero: I don't think I'd dye my hair... The most I ever did was put blonde in it... that was my rebellious phase.

Quatre: I'd never permanantly dye my hair... That would really kill it.

Duet: Plus you're such a perfect blonde! ^___^

Quatre: Um...

Duet: Oh! I meant that appearance-wise... You're not "blonde" blonde.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Guys and Duet and Tori if applicable- fav Axe deodorant?

Tori: There's a difference between them?

Duet: They're all super sexy...

Heero: *shrugs* We don't wear Axe that often...

Duo: Yeah, if we did... In conjunction with our fabulous looks, sparkling smiles, and glowing personalities... NO ONE could resist us. ^__^ The world would be doomed...

Wu Fei: Did Duo mention we're also humble? ^__^

Duet: Look, they can't see, hear, or smell you... Just let it go.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To guys, which for sex... other then yourselves? -___-

All: *pause*

Duo: Did...that make sense to anyone?

Everyone Else: *shakes head*

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To all, best sex toy?

Duet: Is Relena an answer? I pick Relena!

Heero: Well... she IS a wonderful sexual accessory.

Duo: Then again, so is Dorothy.

Quatre: Is this what it's come down to? Categorizing our dearest friends by their proficiency as sexual impliments?

Tori: You know... the later it gets, the bigger your words get.

Trowa: And the more structured our sentences.

Duo: ...and the worse our spelling.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To all, favorite non-anime movie?

Heero: Battle Royale.

Duo: Yeah, Battle Royale!

Duet: Now, now... Suicide Club was not without its merits.

Tori: Why don't we go to the movie cabinet for reference?

Heero: *squats down in front of it and opens the doors* We've got... on the Asian side, a bunch of Horror and Psycho movies...Ringu, Inugami, Uzumaki, St. John's Wort, Angel Dust, Audition, Kairo, the Tomies...The Eye, Ju-on, Dark Water, Ichi The Killer, Battle Royale, BR2, Suicide Club, Pistol Opera, Branded To Kill...Lotsa B-rate Kung-fu, Samurai movies... Blah blah blah... English stuff, we've got...Oooh, just the basics. Fight Club, Boondock Saints, Donnie Darko, Pulp Fiction, Breakfast Club, Monty Python, Requiem For A Dream, all the Kevin Smith movies... A Clockwork Orange, Brave New World, Lolita, Casablanca, Kill Bill 1&2, Full Metal Jacket... that's it?

Tori: Why would I bother to buy movies twice just to have a copy here? All the other are home in the US.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: To all, if you could have teret syndrome, would you? I would...

Trowa: No thanks... we've got enough problems as is.

Duet: Yeah, and I don't wanna come off any weirder than I already do.

Heero: Or scare more strangers...

Duo: Are you kidding me? I LOVE scaring strangers! But you can always fake Terets... Just as long as you have a friend there to go, "Uh, he has terets" whenever you blurt out random profanity.

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Heero, would you date more goths/punks or preps?

Heero: Are they...preppy preps?

Tori: The preppiest!

Heero: Then I'd rather take the punks and goths if that's cool... As long as they're not poseurs though. Those I'll leave for Quatre.

Quatre: *tries to look menacing*

Shackled Lover (Mina Yuy) asks: Quatre and Evan, how are you today^^?

Quatre: o.o Well, I'm fine. And hopefull Evan's dead inna ditch somewhere. ^__^

Wu Fei: Awww... You don't mean that.

Quatre: You're right.. I hope he's bleeding, starving, naked, and freezing cold, WRITHING to death on broken glass in a ditch somewhere. Not dead, of course.

Wu Fei: *deadpan* No... not dead... of course not.

Trustless asks: What bands do you guys like?

Wu Fei: Quatre, Duet, and Heero are the ones who find the music... Trowa, Duo, Tori, and I just get to enjoy it. ^__^

Duet: J-Rock bands, emo bands, punk bands, grunge bands, 80's bands, alternative bands, ska bands, boy bands... There are too many to try and list each individually.

Trustless asks: Are any of you virgins?

Duo: Not since the great hormone onslaught of '97.

Duet: Holy crap... I keep forgetting that's seven years ago, not three... Are we really twenty?

Tori: Ah, child stars...

Duet: Why are we so old?

Trowa: Time works in...not very mysterious ways.

Duet: We're like... almost dead. *looks around* Do any of you have wills written up? I sure as hell don't.

Trustless asks: For Tori, how did you meet these guys?

Tori: *shrugs* My dad used to work for the company in charge of these guys... and when it ran short on money, he and my mom let them move into our house... It's huge, even by American standards, since we're on farmland. They lived with us and went to a private school for military kids. We grew up together until they got shipped off to America at around thirteen. They bounced around more employee foster families for a while before landing in Jersey. After two years of high school here, I joined them overseas and we all lived together for a while. I came home again for college. They finished high school. I transferred to their college... and the rest is history.

Heero: That basically sums it up.

Wu Fei: *reaches over and messes up Tori's hair* We're friends from wa~ay back. ^__^ Childhood pals.

Trustless asks: Who has the worst time holding onto girl/boyfriends?

Duet, Duo, Wu Fei: Trowa...*sideways glance at Trowa*

Trowa: I resent that.

Duo: Doesn't make it any less true.

Trowa: I get bored very easily when I'm not in love! I can't help it...

Duo: *prays* Pleasedon'tlovemysisterspleasedon'tlovemysisterpleasedon'tlovemysister... < p class="MsoNormal c5">Trowa: I'll pretend not to hear you, Duo. That way I won't feel the least bit obligated to answer you and ruin the rest of your night.

Avery: *still in the corner, eating rice balls and playing video games* Wooooo~oooo let's all forget I'm sitting right herre... ((Yes, 'herre')) I just popped in and ruined your life, didn't I, bro?

Duo: Not at all, Avy. People will do what they wanna do and you can too.

Duet: We're not tame pilots... *grins*

Quatre: He's not a tame lion...

Duet: ...I can't wait for that movie... ^__^

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Quatre and Wufei, would you ever do a DxLeon cosplay? Yes...Leon would be uke. -____-;; He's too damn insecure to be seme.

Wu Fei: Silly D... You'd think after so long you'd be able to spell my name properly! It's "Wu Fei"!

Duo: Shhhh... It's the "D Typing Disease".

Both: *girlie giggles*

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Heero, I tried that turn you told me about, but you never told me my mom would get really pissy about it....I'm never listening to you again.

Heero: Obviously your mom has never been in a police chase driving a muscle car.

Trowa: Leaving open the possibility that your mother has been involved in police chases driving other cars.

Heero: Well, she's D's mom... I mean, D didn't just become awesome all on her own.

Duo: Stop playing "D's Fangirl" and just say "crazy" next time.

Heero: ...because I want to incur the wrath of D... I'm not retarded, Duo. You're friends with D or you're dead.

Duo: *pauses* You're a terrible influence. Stay the hell away from D.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks:. All sans Duet and Tori, if you could be in ANY yaoi pairing from any anime/manga (except GW) which one would it be?

Duo: HolyCRAP, I'dBeShuichiAndDoYuki!

Tori: Again, Duo... and slower.

Duo: I. Want. Yuki. Eiri.

Tori: Teriffic. Anyone else?

Quatre: Mmmm... Hasunuma from Ghost. So I guess that'd make me Mitsuo?

Heero: Eerie Queerie.

Quatre: Eerie Queerie.

Trowa: Damn! You stole mine!

Quatre: o.o You wanted to be Mitsuo?

Trowa: No, but I'd do Mitsuo.

Quatre: ^__^*

Wu Fei: I think I'd be Yugi... Because Yami Yugi is hot!

Duet: WAI! Yami and Yugi sittin' in a tree!

Tori: Oh my God... you got her started...

*moment of complete silence*

Duet: *hugs her knees and rolls backwards, then scoots into Avery's lap and snuggles up*

Avery: AH!!! FIGHTING SIN!!! FIGHTING SIN!!!

Duet: *pouts*

Avery: Awww... *pets*

Duet: ^__^ *gets up and plops down again next to Duo*

Duo: ...I'll never be able to put a reason behind half the things you do... But they're all perfectly logical in your head, aren't they?

Duet: *looks him directly in the eye, reaches up and tries to poke him in the eye*

Duo: AH! *grabs her wrist* Nice try! Now you're in trouble. Go sit next to Quatre.

Duet: *slowly flops onto her stomach and refuses to budge*

Trowa: Don't kill the little Maxwell...

Duet: HMPH!

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Tori and Duet, same question above except switch yaoi for yuri.

Duet: I wanna fuck every cool girl... Ever...

Tori: Um... I'll settle for Oh... Just because I always wanted to try yiffing...

Avery: *in the background* YIFFING!

Heero: Seriously? *pauses* Yeah, sleeping with someone like Oh would be awesome. ...she could transform into anyone. Or any thing...

Duo: Why, Heero? Go some nagging urge to fuck a Charmander?

Heero: *wings a trow pillow at Duo* That's sick.

Duet: And she's not "Oh"! She's Tori Sasaki!

Wu Fei: Someone start keeping tabs on how many times she says that in this fic.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: All, GUESS WHAT!!! ^_________________________^!!

Quatre: Don't do it! It's a trap!

All: O.O *wait for a moment in silence*

Quatre: Phew... The coast is clear.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) asks: Hahaha! Did you actually think I had something to say?

Duo: D... you NEVER have anything to say. Not anything relevant, at least.

Trowa: ...she's SO gonna kick your ass.

Demoness Of Punishment (D) says: Quatre, okay, here's the plan. Tia, Holly, and I are going to send Juliana Theory music to EVERYONE we know and tell them to send it around and eventually we'll turn the WHOLE world into Juliana Theory junkies!! ^____^ *starts blasting Into The Dark*

Quatre: YES! Everyone must listen to Juliana Theory! And Saves The Day! ... and Brand New! OH! And Fall Out Boy!

Wu Fei: For the love of rice, SOMEONE STOP HIM!

Heero: *clamps hand over Quatre's mouth*

Wu Fei: Didn't Tia, like...die? ..or something?

Quatre: Don't say silly things like that.

Heero: Nah, three years with Duo and she just gave up. I'm surprised she lasted that long.

Quatre: *shrugs* People do what they want... I'm sure she has her reasons. Let's just leave it at that. *pauses* So as I was saying, definitely Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessional, Something Corporate, Switchfoot, and the Pixies and-

Wu Fei: *puts hand over Q's mouth again* Shut up before you hurt yourself!

NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Last night I dreamt that napalm demons made me drink a gallon of glass shards soaked in hot sauce which, ITSELF, was on fire. How's Avery doing? ^_^

Duo: *mouth agape* After that last comment... you are FORBIDDEN to talk to my sister.

Duet: Hi Lance! She's fine! We're taking really good care of her. ^__^ We bought a whole buch of outfits and lotsa cute new panties, too! You should check her out. *winks*

Duo & Tori: *sigh dramatically*

Duo: Duet... you GOTTA keep up on your T2M-JSNC soap operas! They, like, soooo broke up, like FOREVER ago! Tch!

Tori: Yeah! It was in that episode where, like, Screech was all "Let's have a car wash to raise money to invest in potatoes!" and, like, Avery, like, TOTALLY forgot to buy soap and Lance was all "Whatever..." and rocked some other girl's world in the back seat of his Trans Am!

Duet: Slut... I totally knew that! We're in the "make him regret ever thinking about breaking up" phase!

Tori: Oh yeah... forgot that phase... But the break-up was mutual! And we love Lance!

Duet: You still gotta play mind-tricks with 'im! It's the rules!

Tori: *shakes head* Silly bitch... tricks are for kids!

Duet: They are kids!

Heero: *holds up hands* LADIES! LADIES! Before this goes any further... ...we're gonna need you to take off your clothes and get in the mud pit.

Both: *glare at Heero*

Trowa: *smirks* Now... what have we established in this conversation?

Duet: That our new official term for sex is "world rocking"?

Tori: That I consider "Saved By The Bell" a soap opera?

Trowa: I'm sorry... The correct answer was "pregnant women are insane and quick to anger".

Duet & Tori: *batter Trowa with girlie punches*
~
NachoManLance (Lance) asks: I have a problem...I go on roadtrips a lot down to San Diego to spend time with family. On the way there, I always fall asleep during about half the time. I'm getting a bad feeling that my little sister is trying to do things to me (like practical feather/shaving cream pranks...I know what you were thinking) while I sleep. Is there anything I can do to prevent this?

Wu Fei: ...he knew what I was thinking.

Duet: That Lance's sister was playing "Find The Monkey" on her brother?

Quatre: *looks plainly at Duet* You are not fit to have around children.

Tori: We knew that... but do you have any advice for the man?

Duo: Always wear your seatbelt.

Heero: Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle while it is in motion.

Trowa: The park will not be held responsible for any lost or damaged items.

Tori: Yes... yes, you're all very clever.

Boys: *big grins*

~
NachoManLance (Lance) asks: Last one....when's the next time all of you (if not most) will be on AIM at once? So far I've only chatted with Duo and Tori. I did a little bit with Heero, but I didn't really know who he was at the time ^_^* and Quatre didn't want to talk to me...

Quatre: *taken aback* I'd never do that!

Heero: We're never on AIM all at once. At home, we have dial-up...so that's only one line. And Duo's usually the one on-line since he has to order postcards and stuff for his job. The rest of us don't really have any reason to go on-line... or any desire. Except to chat, of course.

Duo: I'm addicted to the internet. o.o

Wu Fei: Yeah, if you wanna talk to us, all you hafta do is ask Duo who's home, and provided they're not in the shower, having sex, sleeping, or watching the Poker Tour, we'll usually come to the computer.

Duet: Mmmm... The for great landmarks in our day. Sex, sleep, shower, poker.

Trowa: ...not always in that order.

Quatre: ...but usually.

Ashley Eckhoff asks: This question is for anyone who fences, what is right-of-way to you, the first person to move or the person who makes the first correct attack (they have their arm extended not bent like some cheating schools like to do, ack! sorry slightly bitter)?

Duet: Ashley, if you were here right now, I'd hug you.

Trowa: WHAT is this right of way you people keep bitching about!? One light goes off, one person gets a point. Two lights go off, both people get points!

Duet: Silence, epée! This is a sabre/foil matter! Now...according to USFA rules... If both fencers advance, the one to make the first correct attack has right of way. If, at the command, Fencer A retreats, Fencer B has the attack. If, at the command, Fencer A holds and Fencer B advances, Fencer B has the attack. If, at the command, both fencers retreat, the first to advance has the attack. If both advance simultaneously, the first to extend their arm has right of way.

Trowa: ...what the fuck? What if you both hit at once?

Duet: That's a simultaneous. You throw it out.

Trowa: But that happens all the time in sabre... and still a bout only takes, like, half a minute.

Duet: We're quick. *shrugs* And vicious.

Duo: And crazy, to boot!

Cat Youkai (Cat) asks: If you could be reincarnated, who or what would you come back as?

Trowa: I'd come back as....Duet.

Duet: I'd come back as a mongoose!

Heero: ...do you even know what a mongoose is?

Duet: It's a SUPER GOOSE! XD

Heero: Riiiight... Let's just, uh, move on.

Cat Youkai (Cat) asks: What does purple smell like?

Wu Fei: It smells like every other color of spray paint.

Quatre: Huffing is BAD, kids! Spray paint is a drug!

Duo: And drugs are bad!

Wu Fei: Because drugs are concentrated evil!

Cat Youkai (Cat) asks: Would you ever join the army?

Heero: Well, sure.

Duet: No way... I'd join the Marines!

Trowa: Army... Marines... Air Force... Just no Navy or Coast Guard.

Quatre: I'm flamboyantly homosexual...

Duo: Then you and I can be in the Marines, Q... *laughs*

Wu Fei: We NEED gays in the military. No one knows how to cover ass better than a fag.

All: *laugh*

Cat Youkai (Cat) asks: Out of Tokyo-pop's slew of new manga realses, what's your favorite?

Quatre: EERIE QUEERIE!!!

Duet: Gravitation and Petshop of Horrors!

Heero: I like the Viz manga... Like One Piece and Naruto.

Duo: I like Ororon.

Wu Fei: Battle Royale.

Trowa: I think Heero's right... Viz got a lot of cool titles too. I like Naruto and YuGiOh.

Cat Youkai (Cat) asks: Can a virgin be a whore?

Duo: No, virgins can only be sluts. And that's when they go around doingd other stuff with lotsa guys.

Duet: *whacks Duo on the arm*

Duo: Whaaat?

Tori: Hm... That was the last question.

Duo & Wu Fei: YES!!!!

Tori: And final thoughts?

Heero: Take care of yourself...and each other.

~*~*~*~*~

Tori: Questions for the next chapter can be sent to "Tori_Yuki_Ichimura@hotmail.com" with the subject: LTTP or Questions for Pilots. All others will be deleted.