Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Lord of the Gundams ❯ Fellowship of the Gundam Part 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Quatre/FRODO: *is sleeping, while he's supposed to be reading a book under a tree. Someone pokes him.*

Quatre/FRODO: Huh wha?

Heero: You're supposed to go and meet Ze-Gandalf.

Quatra/FRODO: Oh sorry, Trowa kept me up last night-I-I mean uh…

Heero: (Shudders) Too much information. Must go and kill something… (Gunshots are heard)

Quatra: Heero no!!! You promised! Thou shalt not kill!

Heero: I'm not Christian.

Quatra: You promised Relena.

Heero: Did I? I don't remember.

A mobile suit suddenly appears out of nowhere and Dorothy is seen wearing the Zero system helmet.

Dorothy: Heero shut up so we can continue the movie! None of this is in the script! (Uses mobile suit to kick Heero off the scene. Heero retaliates by pushing his detonator button. The mobile suit explodes.

Dorothy: Damn you Heero, and your love of explosives. *turns to see Quatre still sitting there* What the hell are you still doing here? Go meet up with Gandalf, or I'll challenge you to a duel!

Quatre: Ahhh!!! (Runs away)

GANDALF-Gandaulf: being played by Zech who wears his helmet- approaches the shire singing. Quatre/Frodo Runs to meet him.

Quatre/FRODO:

I, uh… Oh yeah!

You're late.

GANDALF/Zech:

And you've wet your pants again. Did you find another spider in your bed?

Frodo/Quatre: Worse Dorothy-

Gandalf/Zech: Ah, say no more. (Looks over to see Dorothy evily glaring at them) I-Uh, I mean (coughs and makes his voice deeper) A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

They both try to keep a straight face, and fail. FRODO throws himself into GANDALF'S arms for a hug. (Whispers) Don't let her get me!

FRODO/Quatre:

It's wonderful to see you again, Gandalf.

GANDALF/Zech:

You didn't think I'd miss your Uncle Bilbo's

Birthday, did you? (Whispers) Okay I wont let her, now get off'a me and change your pants.

FRODO/Quatre:

What's new in the world? Tell me everything.

GANDALF

Haven't we grown curious? Most unnatural for a

hobbit. What can I tell you? Life in the wide

world goes on, much as it has this past age,

full of its own comings and goings-*looks over to see Quatre/Frodo fast asleep.*

Gandalf/Zech: Hey wake up! *grabs Quatre's shirt and starts shaking him.*

Frodo/Quatre: Okay, okay I'm up already!

Gandalf/Zech: good. Now where was I? Oh yes. scarcely

aware of the existence of hobbits. For which I

am very grateful. Oh, look, a Lepricon!

Quatre/Frodo: Where? *Looks around*

Gandalf/Zech: Oh, no wait, that's just a mini Nataku key chain.

Wufei: How dare you mistake mini Nataku for a lepricon! You've insulted us! Where's my coffee? *wanders off*

They pass a field where tents and a banner are being set

up.

GANDALF/Zech:

Ah, the long-expected party. How is the old

rascal? I understand this is to be a party of

special magnificence.-Y'know, I think this is the longest I've gone in Firestorm's crazy fics, without getting hurt.

Firestorm_244:

First of all, It's Firestorm_244. And second of all, don't push your luck! Or I'll get Dorothy to squish you with a mobile suit!

Quatre:

I think you'd better do as she says.

Zech:

Yeah, the mobile suit thing I'm not so worried about but in her last GW humor fic, I ended up crippled with Richard Simmons crying on me.

Quatre: scary…

FRODO/Quatre:

You know Bilbo. He has the whole place in an

uproar.

GANDALF/Zech:

Well, that should please him.

FRODO/Quatre:

Half the Shire's been invited. He's up to

something.

GANDALF/Zech

Indeed?

FRODO

All right, keep your secrets. Before you came

along, we Bagginses were very well thought of.

Never had any adventures or did anything

unexpected.

GANDALF/Zech:

Man you guys must have really sucked- I mean-

If you're referring to that incident with the

dragon, I was barely involved. I only gave your

uncle a little nudge out the door.

FRODO/Quatre:

Whatever you did, you have been officially

labeled a disturber of the peace.

A group of HOBBIT children see GANDALF and come running. *As does Duo, pretending to be a little kid*

CHILDREN

Gandalf, Gandalf! Fireworks, Gandalf!

GANDALF pretends he won't, but he sets off a butterfly

firework for them. An old grandmother's smile at the

children's delight turns to a more socially acceptable

frown when an annoyed mother becomes witness.

FRODO/Quatre:

Gandalf, I'm glad you're back.

FRODO jumps off the wagon. *and falls on his face*

GANDALF/Zech:

That was Gracefull (Zech mutters sarcastically) So am I, dear boy, so am I.

GANDALF stops his wagon in front of Bag End, passes a sign

'No Admittance Except on Party Business', knocks on the

door with his staff. A disgruntled voice comes from within.

BILBO/Heero:

*Grumbles* I still can't believe they made me Bilbo. No thank you! We don't want any more well-

wishers, visitors, or distant relations!

GANDALF/Zechs:

How about very old friends?

Heero/BILBO:

You're not my friend Zech. *Dorothy glares at him and he rolls his eyes.* Yes, yes, I know, It's not in the script. *Picks up script and reads his line.* Gandalf?

GANDALF/Zech:

Bilbo Baggins!

BILBO/Heero:

My dear Gandalf! *Mutters* could that line have sounded any gayer?

Zech: *whispers* you're the one who said it like that not me.

GANDALF/Zech:

One hundred and eleven years old! Who would

believe it? You haven't aged a day.

BILBO/Heero:

Come in, come in, welcome, would you like some

tea? Or perhaps something stronger. I still

have some of the Old Winyards left. 1296, a

very good year! Almost as old as I am! My

Father put it down. What say we open one? (Heero's thoughts) *I wonder what Zech would be like if he were drunk?*

BILBO puts GANDALF'S hat and staff away.

GANDALF/Zech:

Just tea, thank you.

GANDALF: *knocks the chandelier, steadies it, and hits his

head on the beam when he turns around.* I knew my trusty helmet would come in handy someday. *helmet suddenly cracks and falls off* Stupid cheap piece of crap…

BILBO/Heero:

I was expecting you last week, but you come

and go as you please...

BILBO gathers food while GANDALF carries around his broken mask and looks for super glue but only comes across the maps spread

out on BILBO'S table.

BILBO/Heero:

I can make you some eggs if you like...

BILBO comes into the room, but GANDALF isn't there.

GANDALF gives up, throws the mask pieces away and pulls out another mask out of nowhere and puts it on his head. He then appears from behind Bilbo.

GANDALF/Zech:

Just tea.

BILBO/Heero:

Yes, right, you don't mind if I do?

BILBO has a mouthful of food already.

GANDALF/Zech:

Oh, no, not at all.

Someone knocks on the door.

BILBO/Heero:

If it's Relena, I'm not at home! If it's anyone else…I'm not at home! I need to get away from these

confounded relatives, hanging on the bell all

day, never giving me a moment's rest. I want to

see mountains again, Gandalf, mountains! And

then find someplace quiet where I can finish my

book. Oh, right, the tea.

GANDALF/Zech:

You mean to go through with your plan, then?

BILBO/Heero:

Yes, everything's in hand. The arrangements

have all been made. This year I will finally get to go to the spandex fashion show!

GANDALF/Zech:

I thought you were going off to see mountains and finish writing you book.

BILBO/Heero:…I'll finish working on this movie, then I'll go to the spandex fashion show.

GANDALF/Zech:

Can I come too? I've always wanted to go to one. Plus I've been thinking of buying some spandex.

BILBO/Heero:

Oh, you really should, you have the perfect body for it.

GANDALF/Zech:

Really you think so?

Dorothy:

Excuse me boys but can we get back to the film now? Or do I have to run you over with a couple of my transport trucks?

GANDALF/Zech:

*Whisper, whisper* We'll talk latter. Frodo suspects.

BILBO/Heero:

Huh? Oh yeah, the script.

Of course he suspects, he's a Baggins, not

some blockheaded Bracegirdle from Hardbottle!

Duo: Try saying that six times fast.

Wufei: BlockheadedBracegirdlefromHardbottle, BlockheadedBracegirdlefromHardbottle, Blockheaded,GirdlegracefromDumbledador- a damn!

Quatre: Oo, Oo, let me try!

Dorothy: No!

GANDALF/Zech:

You will tell him, won't you?

BILBO/Heero:

Yes, yes.

GANDALF/Zech:

He's very fond of you, you know.

BILBO

I know. But he's not half as fond of me as he is Trowa. He'd probably come with me if I asked

him to, but I think in his heart Frodo is still

in love with the Shire. The woods, the fields,

little rivers. I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't

look it, but I'm begining to feel it in my heart. I

feel thin, stretched, like butter scraped over

too much bread. I need a holiday, a very

long holiday, and I don't expect I shall

return. In fact, I mean not to!

(Dun, Dun, Dun!)

To be continued