Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Souls ❯ Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own the G boys, I just borrow them to play with from time to time and return them relatively undamaged... honest... :)

Rating: NC 17, Angst, Yaoi, Sap, masturbation, sad in parts, LEMON.

Pairings: 3x4, 2xH, 5+S, OCx2, eventual 1x2x1

Notes: Set 2 years after Endless Waltz. The pilots have all gone their separate ways but still keep in touch. Duo is with Hilde on L2 but cannot forget Heero.

" Lost Souls "

May 2002 ShenLong

Chapter 13.

Shane froze outside the door to Duo's room as the scream tore through the passageway. He turned and was about to re enter when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Duo will be all right, let Heero handle it Shane." came the calm voice.

He released his hold on the door handle and stepped back. Warm arms wrapped themselves around his shaking body and he found himself relaxing into the comforting embrace.

Trowa stroked his hair softly, "Let Heero deal with it now Shane, you have done your share."

Shane turned and quietly sobbed onto Trowa's shoulder. The stress and tension of the past few weeks all came to the surface and bubbled out from deep inside. Even if he had wanted to he couldn't have stopped himself.

Trowa held him and soothed the boy as best he could. It was better if he got it all out of his system Trowa realized. Knowing just how strong Shane had been forced to be it was amazing he hadn't broken down before this.

Shane sobbed uncontrollably. He cried for Duo and the fact that he hadn't been there to protect his friend, he cried for the other boys that had shared his brief miserable life so far, he cried for the fact that he hadn't done more to get help for Duo, he cried for his mother and father and the things they had done to him... but mostly he cried for his soul, a soul that had been forced into a life he didn't want, a soul that had been denied the love of a parent, and he cried for the little boy that had disappeared the day he had left that house.....

"That's it Shane... let it out. Let it all go." coaxed Trowa.

Finally the well ran dry and Shane's tears stilled and his sobs became whimpers. "I'm sorry." he whispered hoarsely.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Shane. You did the best you could do with the hand that was dealt you. Frankly I admire you and the courage you have shown."

Shane smiled weakly. "What I have done is nothing compared to what you five all did for the peace of the earth and the colonies."

"Shane, we all have cross roads in our lives, the paths are put there and we choose which one we will travel down. No one can say what lies ahead, all we can do is try to make the best out of what we have. You have done a fine job being a father and friend to those boys. Where do you think they all would have been without you? Now come on lets get you cleaned up a bit and watch some TV before bed time." Trowa smiled encouragingly at the teen.

"Thank you Trowa."

Trowa took Shane back to his room and gently wiped the traces of tears from his face before taking him downstairs to join the others in the family room.

Feeling the ripple of sadness that came from Shane, Quatre raised an inquiring eyebrow at Trowa as they entered. Trowa nodded back and that seemed to pacify the blonde for now.

The boys sat or sprawled around the floor, eyes fixed on the television screen before them. It had been a long time since some of them had enjoyed this luxury. Benny and Toby however had never seen TV before and sat enthralled as the pictures played across the screen. Quatre had put on an old video of Duo's for them to watch.... Something called 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade' he thought it was called. Any way it didn't matter, the boys were obviously enjoying it if the whoops and cheers that sprang forth from time to time were anything to go on.

Trowa slid onto the couch next to Quatre and claimed the blonde's mouth in a hungry kiss.

Panting slightly from the intensity of the kiss Quatre searched Trowa's visible eye and noted the passion and lust hiding there. He cocked his head in the direction of the assembled heap of bodies on the floor.

Reaching to nibble on Quatre's earlobe Trowa whispered seductively, "Your ass is mine tonight." At the same time he brushed his fingers lightly over Quatre's nipples that were hidden under his shirt.

Quatre tried to suppress the moan he felt escaping his throat and managed to turn it into something akin to a choking sound.

Mickey and Benny both looked around in alarm.

Quatre giggled at them, "I'm okay boys ... "

Colin, who had also caught the noise and movement from the corner of his eye glared at the two younger boys, "Leave em alone. They jus wanna do some lovey dovey stuff."

This time Quatre did choke and Trowa had to thump him on the back.

Toby and Benny smiled in understanding and returned their gaze back to the movie, Shane looked across at the pair on the couch and shook his head grinning from ear to ear.

Quatre went bright red and even Trowa found himself with a blush tinting his cheeks.

Wufei smirked at the pair. "Have to remember you have guests now."

"So I guess that means no more screwing your ass to the dining room table Quatre." Trowa quipped with a quickness that even Duo would have admired.

This time it was Wufei's turn to choke. Even Shane dissolved into fits of laughter at the shocked look on the Chinese mans face.

"Please tell me you are joking." he gasped out.

"About the screwing my ass or the dining room table?" asked Quatre, his face the picture of innocence even if he was exploding with mirth inside.

Wufei glowered and stood up. "It was bad enough with Maxwell but now you two as well. I don't need this. If anyone wants me I will be in the library..... Reading...." he added as an after thought.

"Poor Wufei." giggled Quatre.

Shane tried to suppress his laughter as the Chinese man graciously left the room.

"I guess he don't like lovey stuff." said Mickey as he watched the retreating form.

"Yer gotta remember not everyone approves of this." said Shane.

"Whadda mean?" asked Toby.

"He means not all people fink that a guy should be wiv another guy." said Paul with a look that clearly said 'are you thick?'

"But why shouldn't a guy be wiv another guy? If they loves each other then it's jus the same as a guy bein wiv a girl ain't it?" persisted Toby.

Feeling it was time to intervene Quatre spoke up. "Toby, society here has some rather narrow minded views on what is and is not acceptable in a relationship between two people. They see a male and female together and that is okay, but if they see a male and a male together or female and female together then they aren't so tolerant."

"I still don't see why it should bother em."

"I agree with you Toby. But try to remember that what we have is special and it's not their fault that they can't open their eyes and see love for what it is regardless of the shape it takes."

Toby rubbed his hand against his cheek as he thought about this. Quatre's words were hard to understand for his still young mind but he caught the underlying message. "This love stuff is a bit more comp...comp... arder to figure out I guess."

Trowa smiled warmly. "Lets just keep what we have and share to ourselves."

Toby understood and returned his vision to the movie, Shane gave Quatre and Trowa a look of thanks.

Trowa nodded and pulled Quatre closer to him where he again began to torment the Arabian with soft touches and kisses, keeping one eye on their guests and being as discreet as he could.

Quatre tried his hardest to refrain from moaning and squirming under the touch. Once the boys were settled for the night he would seek his revenge on his playful lover.... oh would he ever....

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Duo fought the darkness of sleep that tried to claim him. Heero was about to tell him something important and he was dammed sure he would be awake to hear it.

Heero took a deep breath and then opened his mouth to speak.

"Duo.... I need you to know that when you disappeared I was worried, worried out of my mind. During the wars we were always there for each other, I watched your back and you watched mine."

"I watched more than your back Heero." thought Duo. "Especially your spandex clad ass."

"We looked out for each other, protected one another and when you left it was as if you took a part of me with you. During the wars I ... I ... I fell in love with you Duo..." Heero dared to look into violet and was encouraged by the emotion he found there. "I couldn't tell you as the missions would be compromised and that was not an option, so I loved you from afar hoping that one day I would get the courage to tell you how I felt."

Duo reached out and caressed Heero's cheek with his hand. "So why didn't you say anything after the wars?"

Heero swallowed. "Once the war was finished the earth and colonies seemed to go a bit crazy with all the celebrations of peace and I guess I got caught up in it as well. Once it had begun to die down I came to find you but you had left with Hilde for L2. That told me that there was no way you could be interested in me so I took the job Relena offered me. On the few occasions that I saw you again you always seemed so happy with Hilde and your work. How could I destroy that?"

"Oh Heero, I went with Hilde to work the scrap yard..... and to try to forget about you."

Tears welled in cobalt eyes. "Duo... Hilde said you cared for me... Is that true?"

Now it was Duo's turn to look uncomfortable. "Yes Heero, I do care for you. I fell in love with you a long time ago but like you couldn't put the missions at risk. When the wars ended I couldn't find yer so I went with Hilde to work the yard. I got word from Wufei that yer were with Relena so I figured you didn't need me and so I stayed on L2."

"Have you any idea how much agony being near you but not able to touch you put me through on the few occasions we did meet up?" Heero asked.

"Probably about the same amount as I went through." came the reply. "I guess that's why you stopped attending Q-mans little get-togethers."

"Hai."

Violet locked with cobalt as each read the question the other badly wanted to ask.

"Do you think we can start again?" asked Heero.

Duo thought for a moment. "I have to tell you Heero.... I... I can't remember everything that has happened to me recently but every now and then I get flashes." Duo lowered his eyes.

"Hn. It's okay Duo."

"But I'm scared Heero. Scared of what I can't remember. Scared that when I do it will affect us... our relationship."

"Hn. It wont Duo."

Duo peeked up through chestnut bangs. "You need to know that with Duo Maxwell there also comes a lot of baggage."

"Hai. The baggage is currently sitting downstairs watching TV." replied Heero dryly.

Duo smiled. "I do believe our cold, perfect Mr. Yuy is developing a sense of humor."

"And I believe that it comes from being around you too much baka!"

"I think I could get to like this new Heero."

"So does that mean you are willing to give this a shot?"

"Hai Heero. Lets see where this relationship takes us."

Heero felt the tears of joy spring beneath his eyelids. He reached forward and hugged Duo as best he could without hurting him. "Arigato Duo."

Sally re entered the room to find the pair locked in a warm embrace. She coughed discreetly before moving closer and checking the machines.

"So how is he doing Sally?" Heero asked.

"Much better. The temp is on the way down and the drugs are working fine. We should be fine to operate tomorrow."

"Operate?" asked Duo.

Sally frowned and looked at Heero. "You haven't told him?"

"Told me what?" said Duo, his eyes widening slightly.

"I was going to Duo. I just hadn't got to that bit yet." mumbled Heero.

"Will someone please tell me what is going on here? Why I need an operation?" said Duo the old familiar flash beginning to return to those violet eyes.

"I think it would be better coming from you Heero." said Sally and she turned to leave. "I will be back shortly to answer any questions you may have Duo." and with that she left.

Duo stared hard at Heero. "Tell me.... tell me what happened. Tell me why I need an operation.. Damnit Heero!" Duo went into a coughing spasm.

Heero held the thin body close. "Okay Duo, but I warn you its not all going to be pleasant."

"I can take it Heero."

Sighing Heero began the tale. He thought it best to start at the beginning and let the American know why he was on the streets to start with.

Duo lay silently as Heero revealed to him the reason he had left the scrap yard and Hilde. Tears coursed down his cheeks as the story began to jog his memory and bring back the events of that evening.

Heero paused for a moment as he saw Duo's distress. "Duo?... Are you all right?"

"Hai." Duo began to understand then that what had happened between him and Hilde had not been his fault. Now that some time had passed he could see from outside the immediate problem had not been all his doing. Adding up in his mind all the little things over the space of time he had been with Hilde led him back to the same result. Feeling his soul lighten as he forgave himself he reached for Heero's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Please continue."

Heero did but was unable to give Duo the in-depth details or answers he needed. "All I can tell you Duo is that you were back on the streets selling yourself to live. Somewhere along the line you met up with Shane and the others and joined together. It was during this time you came back to Shane pretty badly hurt. From what we can gather a customer had pretty much raped you."

Duo's breath hitched.

"You wouldn't tell Shane anything about it at all. That's when you got sick. That bastard raped you, gave you this disease and also tore you up pretty badly." Heero's jaw clenched as he hissed out the words. "Tell me who it was Duo..... Tell me and I will hunt them down and make them pay for their crime."

Tears fell like rain as Duo's memory chose that moment to return, supplying him with all the visions of that evening, visions he thought he had managed to lock away. "I don't remember who he was Heero, just another face in the crowd, another customer. Hell when yer have to do what I did you don't even look at their faces or ask for their names, yer just take their money and do what you have to. Keep it anonymous, that way you can fool yourself into believing that yer not really there, that it's not happening...."

Heero's heart went out to Duo, realizing that this was yet another of the masks he had to wear in order to survive. Just when he thought he was beginning to learn and understand the braided man something else would surface, another mask would appear and he would find himself back where he started. He wondered if he would ever get to find the real person that was the enigma called Duo Maxwell.

Violet eyes stared sadly ahead as he recalled that evening.... The cheap room, the guy had seemed okay until the door closed. Then he changed. Forcing Duo to the bed and nearly ripping his clothes from his body. He remembered with a shudder the feeling of those large sweaty hands on his tender flesh, gripping him and pinning him down, the searing pain as he forced that cock into his passage without any preparation. Not waiting for Duo to adjust he had pounded into him, biting and clawing at his back as he thrust deeper. When Duo had protested he hit him and then ground even more savagely into his body. Duo had decided then that his best option was to stay still and let the man have his way. He could still remember the stench from his sour breath as he had tried to kiss him and a wave of nausea swept over him.

Heero watched as the light of remembrance flickered through Duo's eyes, seeing the face twist and contort as each memory played in his head. Never had Heero felt so helpless as he did now.

Then Duo suddenly reached forward, his stomach heaving.

Heero grabbed a bowl off the side table and held it while Duo emptied the bile from his stomach. When Duo flopped back onto the bed he picked up a cloth and ran it over the heart shaped face. "Its over now Duo. I promise you will never have to do anything like that again."

Duo looked at Heero, "This operation."

"Hai"

"It has to do with the rape?"

"Hai. You were pretty badly torn Duo. You have healed but there is a lot of scar tissue. Sally needs to remove it otherwise you will have some serious problems later on." Heero felt uncomfortable discussing this with Duo, but the American had a right to know.

"When?"

"She wants to operate as soon as possible."

"Okay." came the whisper.

Heero stroked the sweaty bangs away from Duo's face and reached to plant a tender kiss on that forehead.

"Stay with me Heero."

"Hai. I will be here Duo."

Holding tightly to Heero's hand and feeling the gentle caress against his skin Duo allowed himself to slip back into sleep.

Heero watched as his loves breathing became deep and regular. He couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors that Duo had been through but he made a promise to the former DeathScythe pilot. "As long as there is breath in my body Duo I will be here to love and protect you. Never again will you have to live the way you have done."

Duo sighed contentedly in his sleep, the drugs killing off the disease. Snuggling into the warmth of the hand that rested against his face, for the first time in ages he didn't dream.

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