Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Love Among the Ruins ❯ On Guard ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: I never have and I never will own Gundam Wing. I'm not that fortunate. :P And of course, the "negative content" in this story isn't too much different from PG-13 movies.

Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^

Surprises: There are some. That's all there is to it. ^_^

Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things.

Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC.

AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and everyone else who reviewed my fics. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.

Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins

Act 7: On Guard

By Sailor Celaeno

Hilde leaned back in her seat. "You know what bothers me still? Its that I never really understood myself as I thought I did. Even now I can't understand how I could love someone else."

"Hilde," Carlyle said with a tone of reassurance. "You are certainly not the first one in that situation nor are you the last. Hilde, don't forget you are a human being. We all have our weaknesses and sometimes our emotions get control of us."

Hilde sat up and watched the doctor. "But… it's not like that! It's not like that at all! It wasn't lust between me and Duo or between me and Heero."

"Then tell me what it is?"

Hilde sighed and leaned back. "It wasn't like it was out of the blue, now that I think of it. Duo… well… he and I lived and breathed like we were always in unison. We were inseparable… or so I thought. Heero is something else. Heero is not like most men. There's something that stirs within that man's heart. It draws you ever closer to him."

"Is that what made you feel the way you did?"

Hilde nodded as she began her story again.

*****

[Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, but not today, that's certain]

Hilde wasn't quite sure how to handle things. Duo had taken away his things when she had gone out. Heero's belongings were sent from Relena's house to Hilde's apartment. Hilde wanted to fix things between the four of them, but how?

It had been two weeks since Hilde and Heero had confronted their respected lovers and things became clear that the special relationship between the four that was irrevocably destroyed. Hilde wanted to make amends with Relena.

Hilde appeared at Relena's office. Relena was polite enough to let her in. Hilde approached Relena. Relena sat at her desk talking with some tenseness in her voice. "Minister Tellerman, I perfectly understand your concerns, but there is a lot that we can't do. We are doing our best to help you with your current crisis…"

Hilde watched Relena with anxiety. Hilde hardly knew what to say.

[Shall I breathe, Shall I listen?]

Relena soon ended the phone conversation. She had a terribly weary expression on her face. She soon realized Hilde was standing there and her tired countenance melted away almost instinctively. It seemed to be was second nature. "Is there something you want from me Hilde?"

Hilde breathed a little and then spoke. "I can't even begin to say everything that I wanted to say to you."

"It's hardly necessary to do this Hilde," Relena offered a sweet smile.

Hilde was surprised by the woman's reaction. "What?"

Relena shook her head. "Hilde, I've come to the point where I don't feel upset or angry or even sorrowful. I don't see why you're so worried Hilde," she said with her calming smile. "It's not like you need my blessing or something to be with… Heero."

Hilde was silent and digested the minister's words. Why was Relena taking this so… calmly? Was that the word? "Calmly?" Hilde gulped slightly. "And… what about Duo?"

"What about Duo?" Relena studied Hilde's face. There was a seriousness in her gaze that seemed somewhat intimidating in spite of her reassuring smile.

"Duo has been accompanying you a great deal," Hilde noted.

Relena leaned back in her seat still watching her guest. "I assure you that you have no reason to be concerned about me and Duo. Really… I don't understand why you're so concerned about him and me."

Hilde bit her lip. She had to admit she had no business interfering in Relena and Duo's lives. "Forgive my intrusion."

Relena shook her head. "No need Hilde. It's perfectly understandable due to the nature of our personal… affairs. The fact of the matter is Hilde…"

[Do you understand me?]

"Yes?" Hilde interrupted.

"Duo and I aren't having a relationship."

Was it relief she felt? "I see."

Relena's smile slowly faded. "Now… I have to get back to work."

Hilde agreed and left.

*****

Heero waited for Hilde outside Relena's building. "Hilde?"

"Heero! What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be inside?"

"That's just the thing. Une reassigned me."

"I'm really not surprised," Hilde replied frankly. "Not after Duo left my floor at headquarters."

"Relena was angry…"

Hilde frowned. "I don't know how she really feels. She seemed to be fine. I know she's just avoiding her real feelings. There was something missing in her."

"Missing? What's missing?" Heero had a concerned expression on his face.

"It's like Relena isn't really there. It's like her words were devoid of all feeling. She doesn't seem to care." Hilde could hardly believe what she was saying. How could a woman in love simply give up so easily?

Heero hugged Hilde. "Are you frightened?"

"Yes Heero. I'm more frightened of her apathy than her hate. I'm scared of what she'll do." Heero rubbed her back. "There's no other way. We've all been tainted by our emotions. I never thought that I could hurt anyone like this," she sobbed into his shoulder.

[like a feather in the wind]

"I wish I could change things," Heero replied.

"Do you regret what you said?" Hilde looked up at him.

"I would have been lying if I hadn't told you how I felt. Emotions can come and go. You know that I don't like to allow my feelings to control me. Yet something called me."

"I never doubted that. But how were you so sure that telling me your feelings wasn't a mistake? Telling me how you felt could have been your way of running away from Relena."

"You must be running away too. How could you say you love me and not be running away too?" Heero wondered why Hilde was suddenly so doubtful.

Before Hilde could speak, Trowa appeared as he walked towards Relena's building. "Heero. Hilde," he nodded to the two lovers.

"What are you doing here, Trowa?" Hilde asked.

"I've been called to Relena's office for some urgent business," he replied.

"Why wasn't aware of this?" Heero was always irritated when something secretive was going on behind his back.

Trowa had shown no sign of judgment in his tone or expression. "I can't say why that is Heero, but I really need to get going." He said his "see you later" and walked away.

*****

[You have vanished and my heart went with you]

Duo arrived at Relena's office at the usual time. He smiled as he watched Relena packing her suitcase. She was hurrying along, not wanting to make Duo wait for her. "Don't worry, princess. We're not in a rush."

"I wish I could just run away," Relena replied with an upset tone in her voice.

"Relena?" Duo was very worried.

"Why can't I… Why can't I just run far away from this place?"

"Trowa told me Hilde was here. Is that why…" Duo knew the answer without having finish the question.

Relena sighed. "It's not what you think. I wish you could take me somewhere that I can't be found."

"I wish I could make you happy again, princess."

"I'm glad I have someone like you around. You're one of those ties I have that prevents me from running away from my life," Relena looked gently into Duo's eyes.

"Your ties?" Duo asked as he led her out of her building.

"I once heard somewhere that in an uncertain world we need to hold on to the ties we have," Relena said.* There was a strong sense of peace in her voice.

*****

"So that was what Duo discussed in his journal?" Dr. Carlyle looked up from his pad.

"Yeah. Duo seemed really confused about what she meant. Like she was…"

"I'm sure given what has happened to her since that she was suggesting suicide… but that was over a year ago. The vice-foreign seemed quite happy."

"I see that we were fools for thinking she was really fine."

To be continued…

1) "Habanera" from "Carmen" by Georges Bizet

2) "Mild und leise" from "Tristan und Isolde"

3) "Mi chiamano Mimì" from "La Bohème" by Giacomo Puccini

4) "La Donna e Mobile" from "Rigoletto" by Giuseppe Verdi

5) "M'Appari" from "Martha" by Friedrich von Flotow

* paraphrased from Cowboy Bebop Session 24- Hard Luck Woman, a comment a nun made to Faye Valentine about the importance of Edward finding her father.