Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ Fading into Memory ( Chapter 19 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

AN:I hope you enjoy!

Thanks to Pious Knight, and morgansgirl!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or the characters attached to it ^_~

Fading into Memory

Beep…beep…beep…beep…

Heero let out a groan, as that infuriatingly annoying and all too familiar sound filtered through his darkness, refusing to let him slip away any longer. Without opening his eyes Heero could tell the room was painfully bright, why there had to be lights on when the sun was pouring in he'd never know. But it started a pounding in his head that matched his heartbeat continually screaming at him from somewhere to his left. Stifling yet another groan, Heero slowly forced his eyes to open, wincing at the suddenly light, and wondering how he had come to be here.

It didn't take long for the answer to hit him…Ash. There could have been none else who would have entered his apartment unannounced and found him. Heero dropped his head into his hand, trying to clear his mind; it didn't take much to remember what had happened, and to wish Ash had never found him. For a time Heero just sat there, unmoving, no longer aware of his surroundings. He wanted desperately to forget all that had come back to him, but it played itself out in his mind again and again. There was nothing to return to now…

Letting his hand fall back to the bed, Heero looked about the room, finding it as he had expected, not much different from the other rooms he had been in before. With some effort he managed to push back some of the pain that echoed through his mind and focus his attention on himself, seeing the IV protruding from the back of his hand, and the wires leading away from his chest. His right hand shook visibly as he reached for the IV line and removed the needle, letting it drop to the floor beside his bed. He then turned his attention to the heart monitor.

His cobalt eyes stared at the little display finding the tiny spike in the otherwise straight line offensive. ~Did you really want to die?~ he asked himself silently eyes continuing to stare, if he had why had he started to fight when he had heard Ash's voice shouting to him? Heero growled in pain and frustration, not wanting to consider any of that right now. Reaching out a hand he shut off the machine which had been carefully monitoring him, and then removed the sensors from his chest. The last thing he wanted to be dealing with right now, was a group of doctors and nurses rushing in there thinking he had flat lined.

Throwing back the covers Heero looked down at himself, seeing that he wore nothing more than a flimsy hospital gown, one that folded across the front snapping into place at both the shoulder and waist. Without much hope he made a quick visual sweep of the room, but did not spot any clothing that he might be able to use. Sighing, Heero shifted his legs so they hung off the bed; he wasn't about to let lack of proper clothing keep him here. His prussian eyes flickered to the doorway, making sure no one was walking in on him, not that there was anything he could do if they did. Heero just hoped he'd be able to make his escape before someone came in to check on him.

Keeping the majority of his meagre weight on his hands that held tightly to the bed, Heero stepped down praying his legs would support him. In this one aspect Heero was rewarded, they trembled slightly but he was able to stand. Stepping away from the bed the former pilot edged his way to the door, glancing out at the busy hallway, men and women moving about hardly seeming to see one another, so focused were they on the tasks at hand. It seemed the perfect opportunity for Heero, his hard eyes spotted a staff only door just down the hall from his room, and he watched carefully as a nurse walked through the door, taking note of which buttons she pressed on the key pad.

As he moved to step out of the room, Heero's vision blurred and he could feel himself stumble. Cursing silently Heero willed himself to be strong, to force aside this weakness, and make it out of here. Pain was nothing to him; he had lived with it for most of his life, worked through it, forgot it even existed, yet it was not just the physical pain that tore through him, and pain in any other form was far harder to forget. Finally his vision cleared, and Heero released his death grip on doorframe, glancing about to make sure his presence was still going unnoticed.

Seeing his opening, Heero slipped across the hall, his presence going unnoticed as the men and women around him did not even glance in his direction. Once at the door his fingers hit the keys he had seen only moments before and he passed safely through. Briefly Heero remained leaning against the door, trying to force away the nausea he was feeling. His body was not the least bit pleased with what he had done. He wondered without any true interest how long he had been out, how bad off he had actually been.

There was no sense dwelling on such matters. The only ones who would actually know were people he really didn't want to be running into at the moment. He blinked in surprise, one of those people was Ash, someone he only now realised had not been waiting in his room. A number of thoughts flashed through his head at that realisation, none of them pleasant. Had he finally found Ash's limit? Had he pushed his last friend away? A deep and consuming emotion swirled up from places unknown, and tried to swallow Heero were he stood.

Almost gasping for breath, Heero gripped his head trying to force this frightening feeling away. Heero didn't like such unknowns, things that he had no defence against, that he could not fight. Slowly it subsides to nothing more than a whisper leaving in its place the ill feeling he had awoken too, but that was something Heero easily knew how to ignore. Pushing himself off the door, Heero quickly continued his trek down the hall, sore eyes watching the rooms that he passed searching for something without really being able to think of what. All he knew was he'd know it when he saw it.

Suddenly his feet stopped walking and Heero found himself looking up at what was written on the door. It took his fogged mind several moments to actually comprehend that it was a staff change room. Heero reached for the knob, hoping to find the door unlocked. He was rewarded and quickly slipped in. Rows of lockers opened out before him with benches running between each, but his cobalt eyes paid them little to no mind. It was the shelf of unused scrubs that caught his attention, and it was to them that he stepped. They would not be ideal as a clothing choice, but they would not draw near as much attention from random people as the hospital gown he was presently wearing.

He grabbed down a pair of pants and stepped into them. They were way too long for him and pooled at his feet. It was also much too wide at the waist but he was able to tighten the drawstrings and tie it off enough so that it would not fall off of his narrow hips. With hands that continued to shake despite his best efforts to steady them, Heero unsnapped the gown and let it fall to the floor, he then shrugged into a pale green shirt, and made his way back to the door. It wasn't perfect, but it would be enough until he made it back to his apartment.

Continuing on his way, Heero found the constant brushing of his pant legs against the floor infuriating. He—who was altogether used to walking silently—found this noise almost mocking, as though he was no longer what he used to be. Heero knew it was only circumstances that hindered him for now, but would even really matter in the end? Did he care enough to continue on with what he had started? Did he need the skills he had wasted his entire life to hone? Heero shook his head trying to banish such dark thoughts, knowing if he let them go on it would simply be a spiral down, and he had no idea where it would end.

He met with no resistance as he made his way to the exit, and he passed more than one person along the way. Doctors and nurses alike let him by without a single question, whether they noticed his presence and only took in the scrubs, or let him slip by like nothing more than a shadow, Heero didn't know nor care. Stepping out of an unmonitored side door, Heero took a moment to get his bearings, having no idea what hospital he had been taken to. The former pilot was relieved upon realising that he was not all that far from his apartment. To his weakened body, the trek appeared much longer than it would have at any other time. Nevertheless Heero pushed on, keeping to the back alleys so as not to draw attention.

Three years had been more than enough time for Heero to know the ins and outs of this entire colony, every tiny alley, every `secret' path. If he did not want to be found or followed, he was fairly confident no one alive would be able too. Well, at least no one around him now…

That was a line of thought Heero wanted nothing to do with in his present state. Not to mention as he was now, Heero was fairly sure an innocent child would have been able to follow him. He was too out of it to truly choose his path well, and all he could really focus on was the ground, making sure he stepped where it was clear of debris. With halting steps, Heero finally laid eyes on his apartment building. Sweat was trickling down his temples and back from the disgusting effort that had taken, and his knees kept threatening to buckle, but he had made it.

Remaining in the back alleys, Heero slowly made his way to one of the service entrances, not wanting anyone to see his return. The inside of the apartment complex was neat and clean, even in the places a tenant never entered. Heero took a moment to catch his breath once he was within the safety of the building. Leaning against the cold metal door, Heero almost found himself wanting to slip down to the floor and just let his eyes close. But though he might have been away from the prying eyes on the street, he knew it might only be a matter of before the landlord needed to come down this way.

Allowing himself a few more minutes to regain what little strength he had, Heero finally pushed himself off the door, and stumbled towards the small service elevator across the room. From memory he unlocked the door, his weary eyes watching as the small red light switched to blue, and the metal door slid away. For him in was a necessity to be able to use this elevator, to have the second entrance and exit. It was an elevator that was hardly ever used, it was there for an emergency situation and for the occasional repairman who needed to move equipment from floor to floor. The landlord was very conscious of keeping his main elevator free for tenant use only.

Heero dropped heavily against the inside wall, reaching out a single hand to press the button to his floor before letting it fall back to his side as the door slid closed. The feeling of his body falling away as the elevator began to move brought the nausea back for the former pilot, and Heero turned his head slightly to rest his cheek against the cold metal willing the feeling to leave. It was with some relief that he stepped off on his floor, cobalt eyes instantly searching out his room. With a single mindedness born from pain and exhaustion, Heero made the final distance quickly and took hold of the knob.

It turned easily in his hand, and Heero stopped pulling back. Why wasn't it locked? He glanced about mind wondering, but the answer came to him, and he shook his head almost feeling like chuckling at his own paranoia. Ash had left with him, obviously not thinking to lock the door, shrugging his shoulders tiredly Heero pushed open the wooden door and stepped into his safe haven. The apartment was cast in shadows as the colonial lights slowly moved towards evening, and the curtains were still half closed as he had left them before the incident…

Closing the door behind him, Heero wanted to just lay down where he was and sleep the rest of his life time away. But something stopped him and he looked up scanning his surroundings again, searching for what his disoriented mind had first missed. There was someone sitting on the couch cloaked in shadows. Heero could feel the man's eyes watching him. "Ash…?" he breathed softly one had moving towards the light switch, even as a feeling deep within him warned this was not his friend.

As light was showered over the room, Heero's heartbeat quickened as he truly saw what he had walked into. The man seated upon the couch was indeed not Ash, but rather a man rivalling Ash for height and with the build of a brick wall. Heero sensed more were present in the apartment than he could actually see, and he was instantly on guard. "We've been expecting you," the man upon the couch drawled casually seeming totally at ease with his position.

Heero was about to demand who `we' was, but as the man came to his feet Heero's eyes took note of his chest. The man had left a number of buttons on his shirt undone, no doubt on purpose as he now exposed the phoenix brand, a stark relief of scar tissue on his chest. "Who would have expected a Gundam pilot to be so…" he trailed off for a moment looking down upon Heero with condescending eyes "Small."

Lowering himself into a defensive position Heero watched through the corner of his eyes as more men appeared, all with similar builds to the one he faced now. They weren't about to take any chanced with him, Heero sensed more than saw the man coming up behind, and he knew if he waited any longer he'd be utterly surrounded. With pure adrenaline pumping through his veins, Heero was feeling nothing of the sickness that plagued him before, but he knew it was only a matter of time before this burst of energy would run out. He'd have to make the most of it if he wanted to escape. Launching himself forward, Heero struck for vital areas, knowing right now that was all he could do to try and drop these men.

Yet his sudden strike did not catch these men off guard and Heero quickly found himself hard pressed. Dodging to side with an agility he would not have thought he possessed at the moment, Heero's dark eyes caught sight of a man holding back eyes watching the fight as he fingered something that glinted metallically in his hands. Even from that distance and occupied as he was Heero would know the sight of a syringe, and he redoubled his efforts knowing he had to make it through to a window soon if he wanted to escape.

In the back of his mind Heero knew this was a losing fight, that no matter what he did or how hard he pressed, he was not physically up to this. But that would not stop him now, Heero would never simply give up on his freedom. Feeling his strength wane Heero finally managed to hit the right target, with the space so confined it was difficult for more than one to attack him at any one time, but as that one man dropped the others closed in, clearly having enough of this little game. As his movements became sluggish Heero couldn't help but wonder when he had lost control, when this mission had spiralled away from him.

Before he could react, Heero was grabbed from behind and slammed into a wall, the air was forced from his lungs, and he found painful blackness swirling over his eyes. Yet his struggles did not cease, he could not give in, not yet! He was pulled away from the wall, and he watched almost detached as the pictures Ash had brought—what seemed like ages ago—slipped to the floor. To his fogged mind they seemed to shatter, almost as though their removal was the breaking of the last bond between Heero and his last friend.

Heero gasped for breath, his lungs burning with his need for it, only to have his oxygen forced away again, as an iron-hard fist collided with his diaphragm. His strength failed him then and despite his best efforts Heero's body went limp, he could no longer hold on, and he found himself watching through blurred eyes as the syringe plunged into his upper arm. He felt like a doll being tossed around as the drug coursed through him stealing away the last of his awareness.

***

Ash pushed his hair out of his eyes with a tired hand, as he walked down the familiar tiled floor towards Dante's office. He had a bone to pick with his friend, it was nearing on seven o'clock in the evening of the day after Heero had been admitted to the hospital, and he had only just woken up an hour before. He could still feel the effects of the sedative in his system, which was the reason for his feet to be dragging. Pushing his way into the office Ash made a quick bee line for one of the chairs dropping comfortably down before he even acknowledged Dante.

"There you are," Dante said cheerfully, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah for damn near twenty-four hours!" Ash hissed glaring at his friend though there was no heat to his stare.

"Ah yes the drug…" the Free Born leader breathed studying Ash carefully, "That was Dr Shan's idea…she didn't seem to think you'd get all that much rest without a little help…I agreed."

"Thanks for asking me first," Ash responded sarcastically rubbing at his tired eyes. "Have you heard anything yet?"

Dante shook his head, "No nothing yet, I called around noon, to just make sure. But he was still out, no changes," the mood in the room had suddenly turned very sober.

"Damn…" it was a soft whisper, but in the silence of the room it was not lost. Ash dropped his head into on hand trying very hard not to look to deeply into this recent event. It was a futile effort and did nothing more than enrage him since he was so helpless. What could he possibly discover without any knowledge? Without any means of speaking to Heero? "It's so frustrating!" he fumed suddenly.

"Ash I've been thinking a lot about what Dr Shan said…" Dante leaned back in his chair, pale eyes very serious. "Heero may never talk to a psychiatrist, but I do think he needs help, it's obvious whatever's bothering him is only going to get worse as time goes on."

"I know, but what the hell can we do about it?! You already said he won't talk to anyone, what else is there?" Ash wanted to help Heero more than anyone; he had watched from the beginning as the former pilot slowly fell, but there had been nothing he could do but slow the process.

"I don't know…" was the soft admission.

Silence filled the room as both men considered the grim future and the endless possibilities not open to them. Ash had no intention of letting Heero commit suicide not so long as he could do something to prevent it. But would there come a time when not even he could do anything? Had that time not nearly come already? Ash had not even been aware that Heero kept alcohol in his apartment, he had been positive the only place Heero drank was in the bars. The confidence he had once held that he would be able to help his friend in damn near any situation felt truly shatter now.

The intercoms sudden buzzing caused both men to jump in surprise. Dante pressed a button near the edge of his desk, "Yes what is it Samantha?" he asked calmly.

"Sir, you have a call on line one," she informed softly.

"Thank you," Dante released the switch and reached for the phone, not bothering to turn on the vid screen. "This is Dante," he spoke into the receiver. For a time he just seemed to listen and Ash watched his facial expression carefully not liking the time changes he was seeing. "When?" he demanded suddenly.

"How is this possible?" Dante's obvious frustration was entering his voice, and he seemed to be trying to dial back his anger.

Ash was on the edge of his seat, a terrible feeling gripping him the longer he remained in the dark. "Yes, yes you did the right thing calling me. Thank you we'll take it from here," rubbing at his forehead, Dante listened for a few minutes longer.

"Of course doctor, I'll keep you posted," he slowly hung up the phone, his eyes disbelieving as he did so, Ash found himself almost screaming to know what had happened. There was no doubt it concerned Heero.

Dante sighed, "It appears as though Heero has disappeared…"

"What?!"

"A nurse went in to check on his around three hours ago, and found that he had left his room--" Ash shook his head, unable to keep from breaking in then.

"Wait, three hours? Why didn't they call us then?!" he was incredulous at the time they had waited.

Dante raised a hand to silence Ash, "They did not call immediately because they did not want to alarm us if he was still within the hospital. So they wanted to search every floor first."

"Stupid people!" Ash vented bitterly, "If he wasn't in his room there's not a chance he would have lingered on the grounds!"

"Yes but how are they supposed to know that, he was in a coma after all, and he nearly died. The patients their used to dealing with don't often get up and just leave," Dante attempted to soothe, though Ash could tell he was far from relaxed. "Dr Shan called me now because she wasn't sure if we wanted to have the police involved, I think it's best we avoid that."

Ash was quick to nod in agreement about that, "The last thing we need is to be driving him deeper into hiding if he thinks he's being tracked."

"Exactly, he's no longer in the hospital, at least not that they could find so--"

"My guess would be he's back at his apartment," Ash finished, already coming to his feet.

Dante was standing seconds later a hand gripping Ash's shoulder to keep him from rushing back the way he had come; "You didn't drive did you?" he asked looking deep into Ash's hazel eyes.

"Are you kidding me?" Ash asked back his question answering Dante's. Not waiting any longer, he made for the door, knowing Dante was only a half step behind him. They crossed through the foyer without pausing, Dante merely calling out a quick excuse to Samantha, and then they were making their way to Dante's car. Ash fumbled for a moment with the door handle his fingers seeming to not want to work properly, this only added to his growing frustration and worry.

With both of them sitting in the vehicle, Dante turned the ignition and pulled away, making for the quickest possible route to Heero's apartment complex. Neither of them spoke through the drive, both waiting in terse silence to find out if their friend was alright. The mere fact that Heero had left the hospital did not surprise Ash, but the shape that he was in while doing it did. He could not fight of the strong sense of worry, Heero had been in no condition to be going anywhere, he prayed that upon getting home Heero had not tried to finish what he started. As much as he did not want to believe it had been a suicide attempt, little else presented itself as an answer.

It couldn't have taken more than fifteen minutes to reach their destination, though it felt like a lifetime to Ash. Together they climbed from the car, and made their way inside, taking the elevator up, Ash watched the numbers flash by willing them to go faster, but they continued on with their stately pace. Finally there was a ding and the door slid opened, Ash was the first off the elevator, and was striding down the hall to Heero's apartment, almost a near run. He had his key in hand by the time he reached the door, but as his hand touch the knob he found it to be unlocked, and alarm bells went off in his head. Casting a fleeting glance Dante's way Ash stepped inside.

"Heero?" he called out silently praying this time he would receive and answer. But yet again there was nothing but silence to answer him. He strode in switching on the lights, his eyes locking upon one thing in the room, that stood out to him. His pictures…they lay in a pile on the floor. Ash stared at them a part of his brain not understanding what he was seeing. He was entirely unaware of Dante's quick sweep of the apartment. He was only brought from his trance when he felt the other's hand on his shoulder.

"He's not here…" Dante whispered softly.

Ash blinked realising he was kneeling on the ground by the pictures, one hand carefully holding them…what did it mean? His hazel eyes scanned the room, noting that Heero's coffee table was slightly out of place. Ash's attention then moved to the wall where the pictures had once hung, and he saw that there was an impression in the drywall. "What does this all mean?" he questioned without realising he actually spoke.

"It would appear he's finally decided to leave…" Dante responded though his voice held more than a note of disbelief.

"No…" Ash shook his head refusing to believe that, Heero would have been in no condition to just pick up and leave.

He felt the hand on his shoulder give a little squeeze, "I don't like the idea any more than you do--" he began but Ash would hear no more of it.

"It doesn't make sense!" he exploded coming to his feet, and rushed to Heero's bedroom throwing the closet doors wide opened. "Why are all his clothes still here?" Ash stopped at the spare room, "And his laptop?" He moved back to the living room, becoming more agitated by the second, "The coffee table's out of place, and look at this wall," he pointed to the indentation, "And these!" Ash held the pictures to Dante's face; "He didn't just leave!"

Dante seemed stunned for a moment his pale eyes looking where Ash had directed then back to the man, "You think he was taken? Who would do such a thing?"

Ash seemed to draw in a breath, "I don't know!!" He shouted voicing all his frustration over everything, all the unanswered questions, all the mysteries and half-truth, over everything he had ever wanted to know about his quiet Japanese friend. "Damnit!! This is my fault!!" Ash continued to fume pacing about the living room.

"Why?" Dante demanded back.

"Because I wasn't there for him!!"

"Would he have accepted you help if you were?" ever the voice of reason Dante attempted to calm his friend.

"I could have stopped this from happening!!" Ash threw his arms out gesturing at the room.

"We don't even know what happened yet."

"He didn't just leave!" he pointed a single finger Dante's way making it clear he wouldn't consider that scenario. Then his shoulders dropped as his gaze fell to the picture he held still in his right hand; "He wouldn't just leave without telling me…" it was a statement Ash fought to believe, that he needed to believe.

***

~Heero's ice cold eyes over looked the daunting task, which fell away before him. Wing Zero lay upon the cold metal floor, seeming a lifeless husk of the once magnificent machine it had been. Over ninety percent of the outer body had been damaged as he had fell through earth's atmosphere in an attempt to destroy the last large hunk of Libra. And a substantial amount of the inner workings of the Gundam had been damaged to near uselessness. Sure it could still move, and if necessary fight, Heero hoped that wouldn't be the case. But at the same time a part of him simply couldn't leave the weapon as it was.

He didn't quite know what it was about Zero that just wouldn't let him walk away. Perhaps it was the fact that he had never seen a machine to match it. Had never experience the power that he felt when strapped in. In either case, what was there outside of this Gundam for his life? School? They couldn't teach him anything he didn't already know and then some. Work? At what? The majority of his skills were geared towards what he was standing and looking at right now. So why not? Why not rebuild it, if for no other reason than that he could. He would always have the power to destroy it, if it came to that, and the Gundam could find no safer place to be than in his hands.

And so it was that Heero found himself standing on an abandoned satellite with all the equipment and means to rebuild his now fallen ally. It was a job he looked forward to starting, such work was something he had always been able to relax into. Of course during the war there had been a certain amount of urgency in getting the task done quickly, as you never knew when the next attack would come. But still he was working with his hands, and letting his mind wander to all the possibilities of changes he could make. He felt as though in these moments he was actually reaching a form of his full potential. Heero tried to ignore the way those thoughts sometimes made him feel, what was the point in dwelling, he was what he was and nothing could change that.

Heero moved to take a step toward his Gundam when a wave of nausea nearly brought him to his knees, he felt suddenly very hot, and his vision began to blur. ~What the hell is this?~ he thought darkly, forcing the strangely familiar feeling away. He had never been sick before, his immune system was always too strong for such petty illnesses, but this feeling seemed to attack with a vengeance working its way to the forefront of his mind despite his best efforts to ignore it. Heero felt this was all so familiar as though he had lived this before, but at the same time he knew that just wasn't possible…so what then was this feeling?

As he made to take another step, realisation struck him like an external blow he could not see or feel, but he knew had hit nonetheless. Heero turned his thoughts entirely inwards struggling against what he couldn't see but knew was there. They had him! They were raping his mind again! He had to put and end to this! Throwing the full extent of his will against the barrier he could neither see nor feel, the panic that had gripped his heart would not let him stop the fight. He needed to be free no matter what it would take!

Slowly the world around him seemed to distort and fade being replaced by only blackness, but that was not all…~

Heero's struggles turned from the mental to the physical. He could feel the bonds than held him prisoner, the IVs that dripped the cursed drug into his arms. He could hear the machines around him and the hum that filled the once empty void. Soon there were also voices, shouts of surprise and anger. Heero knew he was severely disadvantaged at the moment, the Inner Circle was all around him, and he was not even entirely free. He fought with all his strength feeling one of the wrist shackles break with a sickening tear of flesh.

"What the hell's happening?!" a voice shouted over the din.

"He's waking up!" another returned just as shocked, "I don't know how this is possible!"

"Get him back under!" the first roared.

Hands were all around him holding him down, sticking things into him. He could see them, he couldn't fight, desperation gripped him, and a roar of his own escaped his lips sounding more like a wild animal than human. But it was all in vain…

~…Heero's world once more materialised around him the blackness fading slowly, and everything seemed to be as it once was. He looked about bring a hand to his forehead as he did. "What happened?" he wondered aloud, prussian eyes looking over his yet to be started work. A small voice in the back of his mind tried to call to him, and he had a strange feeling that this wasn't right, but he could not put his finger on what felt so off. Heero still felt strangely ill, and a pounding had begun in the back of his head, but it was nothing he didn't think he'd be able to forget once he started.

Walking towards his computer table, Heero struck a few keys, bringing up the schematics of his Gundam, along with the improvements he wanted to attempt. He rubbed absently at his eyes still unable to shake that odd feeling. With a sigh, he turned towards Zero, wondering where it was he wanted to begin, there was so much that needed to be done. "One thing at a time…" he breathed softly, stopping in mid stride as he made his way to the Gundam as he felt a tingle between his shoulder blades. Almost as though someone was watching him.

Spinning around, Heero scanned the large room where he stood, but there was no one, and he knew there wouldn't be. He had made a thorough sweep of the satellite before ever settling in to begin his work. If there had been anyone or any computer monitoring systems, Heero knew he would have found them. So he shrugged the feeling aside and continued on his way to Zero, it was time he started to rebuild.~

Thanks for Reading!

A Void That Can't Be Filled:

Shuddering slightly, Relena walked on eyes looking without really seeing the growing beauty around her. She thought she might have heard Luc call out to her but she just kept walking her mind still so deep in thought, and for once she wasn't throwing them back into the deep recesses of her mind. Despite her best efforts Relena could not seem to banish the sight of his cobalt eyes from her mind, at the time she had told herself she would shed no more tears over him, but the fire of that moment she just couldn't seem to grab hold of now. All she could see was the lost need in the very back of his eyes, a void much like the one she was suffering with, it was what had eaten his soul, and it was eagerly devouring the rest of him.

"Relena!" Luc's voice yanked her from her silent contemplations even as his hands took her shoulders halting her slow walk through the garden. She blinked several times looking up into his angry face, "You're letting this eat away at you!" Once again concern burned in the back of his eyes, "You can't let him win by dwelling on this."

Staring into his eyes it struck Relena then, why Luc hated so much to know she was thinking in any way about Heero. She had gone through so much to love Heero with all her heart, how then had it all gone wrong? Had he faked all that he felt during their time together? And what was that look in his eyes whenever he looked at her…what was that unknown need? None of this could be what it seemed, there had to be an explanation, and it was that that Relena was holding on for. She could not simply tell herself she didn't love him anymore, no matter how she had tried, in an effort to lessen the pain. Relena knew she'd always love Heero Yuy, despite past events and unanswered questions.

Morganeth Taren'drel