Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ Scars ( Chapter 36 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

Disclaimer: I'm not the owner of Gundam Wing, never was, and most likely never will be. Sad but true.

Scars

Duo reached up to adjust his sunglasses as he held the car door for Relena. As she walked from the palace, a weary smile on her pretty face, she touched his arm in a silent greeting as she slipped into the car. Trowa followed a step behind her wearing the same black uniform Duo also wore. It was simple, easy to move in, and not eye catching; allowing the pilots, when necessary, to fade into the crowd. Duo closed the bullet proof door behind Relena and made his way over to the drivers side, while Trowa took the passengers without a word. On such a lovely June day, Duo had had no problem remaining outside to patrol the grounds while Trowa accompanied Relena in.

Starting the car, Duo cast a look over to Trowa. Neither of them had made their peace with Heero, though Duo was working up the nerve, and he had been there several times while Heero slept. Duo couldn't be positive but he thought there was more keeping Trowa from going to see Heero than just the knowledge that they had hated him without just cause for three years. Pulling away from the palace Duo already knew there was no point in asking his silent friend what the problem was, Trowa would deal with it on his own like he always did. Duo drove through the traffic with an expert hand, though at times he wished he wasn't restricted with just forwards and side to side.

In the rear-view mirror he saw Relena looking out the window, a contented expression on her face. It was getting on towards evening and she was done for the day, leaving her with a good stretch of time to visit with Heero. “Do you have a performance tonight Trowa?” Duo asked breaking the silence, and casting a glance his friend's way.

“Yeah,” Trowa responded with a nod, “In a couple of hours.”

“Say hi to Cathy for me,” he caught a brief nod through the corner of one eye as he returned his attention back to the road. The royal palace was not far from the agency and it only took about ten minutes—through back roads to avoid the heavier traffic—to make it to their destination. Turning into the private underground parking garage Duo drove the vehicle to a secured location before putting it in park. It was not as though he expected an attack, he was merely following the procedure Une had called for. it was standard and no one really thought much about it anymore.

His door echoed hollowly as he got out and made his way to Relena's door. She smiled and accepted his hand as she climbed gracefully from the car. “Thank you Duo,” her blue eyes flickered to Trowa as he shut his door and strode towards his own car. She looked as though she were about to say something but suddenly thought better of it, a remorseful look passing through her eyes.

“Shall we?” Duo offered Relena his arm which she took leaning her head briefly against his shoulder. Together they walked over to the elevator and stepped in, Duo selecting their desired floor, as an after thought Duo took the sunglasses from his face and slipped them into the front pocket of his coat. They walked the halls at a relaxed pace, Relena smiling graciously and greeting those she passed, while Duo just watched the faces nodding occasionally to those he knew. They came to the elevator that would take them to the pilots floor, and Relena released his arm moving to stand rather eagerly at the door. Duo glanced down at her as the elevator began to move, and found Relena's eyes considering him rather intently.

“Why don't you come in with me?” she asked softly, eyes returning to the door, as though to give him a private moment to think about it.

Duo silently considered her request, and the elevator came to a stop before he had come to an answer. As much as he might have wanted to speak with Heero, Duo still didn't think he was ready for that; he couldn't think of what to say to him. He walked with Relena in continued silence coming to Heero's door, and still he had not responded. Relena turned to him, an encouraging smile on her face. “Don't think about it,” she said taking hold of his coat sleeve, “You'll just think of reasons why you shouldn't. But you should, he'll be happy to see you,” Relena knocked on his door with her free hand, keeping a firm hold of him with the other.

Duo felt a rush of nerves, much like he had at the beginning of a battle, though these had the feel of a battle he was sure to lose. He shook his head banishing such thoughts, as the door slid aside and he found himself being dragged into the room. Relena released him the moment the door closed behind them and walked over to Heero's bedside, “How are you feeling?” she asked as a form of greeting her small hands taking hold of Heero's half raised hand. Duo watched them from the door trying to be an invisible figure. Heero's eyes were watching Relena's face entirely but Duo knew Heero was aware of his presence.

Relena leaned down towards Heero, speaking to him in low tones that Duo's ears could barely hear, and what he did catch was just a slight murmur. Her hands caressed Heero's seeming without thought, and it struck Duo that this was the first time he had actually seen anything between the two of them, and that included before Heero had deceived them all. There had been no question back then as to whether or not Heero and Relena were seeing each other, more like there had been on going bets as to whom would be the first to catch them actually kissing. Duo felt Heero's eyes fall upon him, and he froze not daring to look the Japanese man clear in the face.

Before he knew it Relena was standing in front of him her expression warm and understanding as she rested a hand on his arm. “It'll be fine,” she assured and quickly left the room. Duo remained where he had been standing the moment he entered, his eyes focused on the foot of the bed, unable to look up at Heero's face. He felt like a fool to be standing there like a statue unable to make the first step towards the reconciliation he wanted so much. Drawing a determined breath Duo forced his eyes to meet with Heero's hoping that might jump start his brain give him something to say.

“How's Hilde?” Heero asked mere seconds after Duo finally looked at him.

The American blinked in surprise. He had not been expecting that at all, and as much as he would have liked to answer the question with all the enthusiasm that he usually possessed, he couldn't. It was not the first thing he should have been saying now that he was with Heero, but he was unable to think of the right words to heal the rift that stood between them. His hands slipped into his pockets as his eyes slowly lowered the silence stretching on, he shouldn't have come in, it was clear he wasn't ready for this. But would he ever really be ready to see him?

“Did you enjoy the honeymoon?” Heero spoke again, his voice sounding patient.

Duo's head came up, and without thought the words came, “Why are you asking me that? You shouldn't be asking that!” He shook his head in disbelief, “You should be mad at me, why aren't you mad!”

“Duo, who's idea was this?”

“What?” Duo removed a hand from his pocket bringing it up to his brow.

“Who's idea?” he wasn't any clearer but the look in his eyes was pointed.

Duo knew what he was speaking of now, but it seemed to him to be as random and out of place as Heero's questions about Hilde. “What does that have to do with this?”

“Why would I blame you for something I chose to do?” he asked evenly eyes remaining steadily on Duo's face.

“We wouldn't listen to you!” Duo was quick to counter.

“You're listening now,” Heero was just as fast.

“That doesn't…it can't make up for it,” he shook his head adamantly taking two steps to put himself at the foot of Heero's bed. All the memories of what he had felt towards Heero came flooding back, he had said openly that Heero had to die! How could he ever come back from that, make it back to the friends they had been.

A spark of fire entered Heero's cobalt eyes, “What the fuck could!” he demanded a hint of anger, or was it frustration entering his voice. “Nothing I want any of you to do! I don't blame you for what I made you believe, or how you acted!”

“You think that's going to help!” he challenged voice rise as it filled with his long pent up emotions, “I wish it could, but I'll always remember wanting you dead!” Duo couldn't believe he was admitting it. It was something he had never expected himself to say, but he thought it felt good to admit it, to no longer have it handing silently over his head, in a place only he could see.

Heero shifted on the bed, and his right arm raised a little his hand resting on his chest, and held within it was a gun. Duo's eyes flew wide, where had he got that? “Is this what you want, then!” anger was the clear emotion in his voice then, as his thumb switched the safety off, “Will my killing you put everything right!”

Duo stared down the barrel of that gun for several long minutes, this wasn't what he wanted, it was going making it worse. His shoulders slumped as he slowly shook his head this wasn't what he wanted, hadn't been what he intended. Pulling his hand through his bangs Duo rested his head on his palm, “I knew I shouldn't have come…” his whispered eyes closing.

He could hear the click of the safety, “I'm glad you did,” Heero told him, voice calm as it had been at the beginning.

“Why!” his voice sounded incredulous as he pulled his hand away from his face.

“Well according to John, I care because that's what people do,” Heero said laying the gun aside, the expression on his face appearing as though he didn't fully understand it himself, “If you want a better answer than that, go bother him.”

Duo laughed, he couldn't help it the look on Heero's face and the way he said it were just so odd. Still at the same time he couldn't believe he was laughing, didn't feel he had the right to be so relaxed. A ghost of a smile touched Heero's features, and Duo silently wondered what John would have thought about such a thing. Duo had worked with him a few times helping take care of Heero, and it had been immediately clear how much he cared for the Japanese man. Heero's eyes turned towards a chair that had been positioned near the head of his bed, a mute signal that's where he wanted Duo to go. He hesitated running through his mind all that had just happened, it could easily go that way again, yet he didn't want it to still he wasn't sure he could just sit there and pretend that the last three years hadn't happened. But could speaking with Heero, in normal tones, about normal things help?

Forcing himself to stop thinking about it, if he considered it too much he knew that's what was going to keep him where he was, on the far side of his friendship. Duo walked over to the plush chair and slowly lowered himself into it. Heero shifted on the bed, working to cover the gun with the blankets were he had kept it concealed. Half of Duo wanted to reach out and help, but he was torn, what right did he have to help Heero after all he had done? Though at the same time just sitting here watching him, wasn't going to do anything to mend relations. Drawing a calming breath Duo bit the bullet and took hold of the sheets.

That put aside Heero turned his focus to Duo's face, depthless blue eyes boring deeply into Duo's own lavender ones. It was not as uncomfortable as Duo had expected it to be, but as the silence stretched on he found it more difficult not to shift under that gaze. He tried to think of something to say, but nothing sounded right, he hoped Heero would say something, anything.

“How's Hilde?” he asked his original question again, as though this was the very beginning.

Duo's head dropped a dry laugh escaping him, “She's good,” he told Heero looking him in the face again, “Pregnant with our second child.” Heero's eyes widened at that surprise clearly shining in them, and it struck Duo with just how much time had passed, just how much Heero might not know. “Erik's three years old, he'll be four in October, Hilde's hoping for another boy, so Erik has someone to play with,” Duo smiled with a shrug feeling relaxed when talking about his family, “I wouldn't mind a little girl.”

The silence retuned then but it was not uncomfortable, nor did it last long, both Heero's eyes and face relaxed, “You enjoyed your honeymoon?” it was not really a question.

Duo smiled at the memory, Hilde had been beside herself, they had been given two weeks at the most exclusive resort in the whole Earth Sphere. They had been given the honeymoon suite, the only portion of the resort with a three year waiting list, while the rest was a short one to two years. It had been a dream for Hilde, for those two weeks she felt like royalty, Duo hadn't quite known what to make of all of it. Having just survived the war, and still trying to adjust to peace, he hadn't yet acquainted himself with such creature comforts. Duo's smile slipped as he looked closer at Heero, how had the Japanese man known about that. It had been an odd moment at the wedding reception when the gift had been found with no name attached, and no one present would own up to putting out so much money for them.

“It was you…” he breathed, the realisation finally coming to him. “But how?”

Heero's eyes seemed to shrug, “Doesn't matter, I'm just glad you enjoyed it.”

He felt as though the breath had been knocked from him, he didn't know what to say, it was something he had never expected. Duo suddenly felt guilty all over again, here he had enjoyed a gift from Heero, while in the back of his mind, hating him the entire time. His head dropped, he couldn't maintain eye contact with Heero, it felt like every step they took bringing them closer to the friendship they had lost, there was always something to pull them back to this awkward ground. Duo rocked a little where he was sitting, uncomfortable with the silence, but unable to think of anything to break it.

WMWMWMW

The metal door slid closed behind Duo, and as he found himself standing out in the hall, he remained there leaning his weight against the door, eyes focused on the ground. That had not gone as he wanted it to, but at the same time it had been what he expected. All preconceived notions were gone, and he now clearly knew where he stood. The problems were on his side, the guilt all his own, and it was that he had to fight against, if he ever wanted to have things back as they once were. With a heavy sigh Duo pushed himself off the door, despite the depression he was feeling, he also felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had been to see Heero, finally while he was awake, and hopefully it would get better with time.

Duo strode down the empty hall towards the common room, he still had a few hours to get some work done if he could keep his mind focused on it, and not his meeting with Heero. He had been working at expanding the list of names Heero had given to Zechs. it was incredibly difficult as he couldn't follow his target and see what sort of people they associated with. As it was he and Wufei had been at it for roughly twelve days, and had only managed to add four more potential names. He entered the silent room and strode across the distance to the computers systems set up against the far wall, seating himself he quickly set to work. But he found his thoughts bouncing around in the silence, unable to stray long from replaying his conversation with Heero.

Turning on some music, Duo let the notes fill the part of his mind that could not stay on track, and he refocused his efforts on the screen in front of him. He sifted through information as quickly as his eyes could scan it for details, and he sighed for what had to be the hundredth time while doing this sort of work. Why couldn't they be like everyone else? We live in an age of computers and they're treating it like it's the plague Duo shook his head, sending a ripple effect down his braid. For a moment Duo turned his eyes from the computer to a large white board standing off to the side, on it were the names of all the members they were aware of presently. The four new names all denoted with a question mark. It bothered Duo to see Heero's name on the bottom of the list, but it helped to know who he had been connected to, and in turn who they heard from; hopefully with a little luck they might actually trace it back to the head.

Duo went limp in his chair his head dropping back to study the ceiling, “But what century will it be then?” he asked of the empty room. It was all too slow, no wonder Heero only managed to acquire twelve names before he was caught. There was really no fast way to finding members short of strip searching everyone on the colony. An electronic beeping broke through the walls of music and thought that were circling in Duo's brain, and he sat forward suddenly. Turning his chair to the computer Duo's fingers flew over the keys small window popping up on the screen as he did, but he paid them little mind. He had set up a net to catch anything that dealt with Heero, it was an effort to catch information on the pilots life while he was away from them. This was the first he had heard from his program.

Working quickly, Duo felt a spark of excitement ignite within him, as his eyes finally fell upon the information. What he saw shocked him, and the excitement drained away to be replayed by anger. On the computer screen before him, Duo saw Heero's thin form, looking lifeless with all the tubes and wires leading away from his body, in fact it was almost impossible to really see Heero in all that. The image was not perfect, and the angle of the camera only focused on Heero, Duo caught movement around the edges of the screen, and he watched in silence as men moved in reaching for Heero. They lifted him like a doll, turning him so he was on his stomach, and then roughly stripped the shirt from his body.

Duo found himself leaning in closer as one man entered the image, though all Duo could really make out was the top of his head. The man held an item over Heero's body, Duo tired to clear the image so he could get a better look at what it was, but it was no use. His answer however came when he watched the man press the item hard into Heero's shoulder blade. The Japanese man twitched, his body convulsing with pain, though he was clearly not fully aware. Duo's eyes widened, this was the branding, some sick bastard had filmed it! But that was not the end of it either, the file Duo's program had found documented the entire process of branding Heero, displaying each time that same man came in to scrub at the scar, making it clearer.

At the end of it all Duo sat there, eyes watching the blank screen feeling a little stunned but more angry than anything. This had been done against Heero's will, and, even now Heero didn't know the brand marked him. Duo turned his chair away, eyes looking about the room without really seeing, as he thought about how best to proceed from here. Was this too something they were going to keep from Heero, for who knew how long? Duo quickly retuned to the computer making sure to save the file in a safe place. He wondered why this information had only come to the surface now, where had it been before? Pulling out his cell as he continued to work, Duo selected a number from among the list.

“Une,” a feminine voice announced after the second ring.

“Yeah, it's me,” he knew his voice would be recognised, “Look I've found something I think you should see…” Duo sent the file to her computer.

“What is it?” Une asked having not yet received the file.

Duo once more turned his chair away from the computer, “It speaks for itself, I think.”

There was silence for several moments, presumably while Une reviewed the footage, “Unfortunate that we can't get a good image of this man's face…” she mused finally.

“He's probably one of the high ranking members too,” Duo sighed, they couldn't catch a break.

“I was informed the brand was done several months ago, any idea why this is only being found now?”

“Zechs told me the bunker where they were keeping Heero was totally self sustaining, no outside electricity,” Duo stood from his chair and began to pace about the room, his mind working quickly. “Access to computer files within is impossible. Unless you're in there I'd say whoever filmed this finally decided to move it to a private computer…” he shrugged though Une couldn't see, “It's nothing but speculation though…”

“Alright, make sure the others know about this,” Une instructed needlessly.

“Will do,” the former pilot shut off his cell, and slipped it back into his pocket, and looked back to the computer.

WMWMWMW

Sally walked out from her bathroom with her hair still wet from her shower. She had finished work relatively early that day, and had been trying to relax with this extra time off. Unfortunately she couldn't sit still, couldn't keep her thoughts on any one thing. Sally could feel something nagging at the back of her mind, had felt it for weeks, but never so persistent as now. She knew exactly what it was, but wouldn't let herself think about it, didn't want to think about it, still no matter how she tried she couldn't run from it. She always knew she was a few doors down from him, a constant reminder of the oath she had broken, the friend she had betrayed, treated like nothing more than a doll.

Nausea rose up from Sally's core, it was self hatred, something she feared she be struggling with for the rest of her life. She wondered if she'd ever be able to look herself in the mirror again, and not hate what she saw there. John still had faith in her, had spoken with her many times face to face and over the phone, trying his best to both bolster her courage and resolve. There was no question about how he saw things, she needed to go and see him sometime. Sally shook herself mentally, Heero, she had to start thinking of him by name, she couldn't distance herself forever…could she? Sally paced across her living room, the light of the setting sun casting a fiery glow around the room. She felt both mentally and physically exhausted, it was so hard to keep up appearances with those she worked with and the patients she saw too every day. It might be possible to lie to herself when she was around them, but she couldn't do it here, when she was alone, the truth was always clear.

She dreamed of not having this weight upon her shoulders, but Sally kept telling herself she deserved this, had brought it on herself, so she'd just have to live with it. Thing was, when she saw how much of the future ahead of her would be dealing with this guilt, it was just too powerful, to consuming. Pulling her hands through her hair in frustration Sally could feel the tears trying to come, but she forced them back summoning up a wall of anger. She hated feeling this way, restless on the verge of a breakdown when she was alone. She didn't want to be alone, but at the same time she didn't want to be with people; they could judge her, something Sally didn't think she'd be able to deal with right now.

Her phone rang suddenly breaking the errant train of her thoughts, and she quickly walked over to it, one hand pulling through her damp locks as she raised the receiver to her ear. “This is Sally,” she spoke grateful that her voice sounded normal, not as shaken up as she felt.

“Sal we've got a problem here,” Wufei's voice instantly recognisable sounded concerned, and Sally immediately felt her stomach drop, there could be only one reason he'd be calling.

“What is it?” she asked calmly, holding out a tiny useless hope that it could be something else.

“John wasn't able to make it in today, came down with something, and he doesn't want to risk giving it to Heero,” Wufei explained in equally calm tones, though she could still hear concern. “Problem is, Heero's temperature had been on the rise, I'm starting to think he might have caught whatever John was carrying. But I need you to come down here and check on him, to be sure he's alright.”

Sally stopped breathing, it was exactly what she had feared, and suddenly she felt completely cornered. There was nowhere for her to turn, no escape from a confrontation with Heero. As much as she didn't want this, knew she couldn't possibly be ready for something like this, a part of her deep within knew she had to take this step at one point, if she ever wanted to move on. Sally knew she would never be ready for something like this, and already her mind was trying to find a way out of it, her stomach twisting into painful knots as the thought of looking Heero in the face, not to mention having to get close enough to him to actually examine him.

“Sally,” the Chinese man's voice cut through her thoughts, “I need you down here, there's no one else.”

Sally shut her eyes tightly, “I know…” she whispered. She felt like she was rooted in place, faced with a challenge she was not equipped to deal with.

“Look, I can come and get you if I need to,” it wasn't meant as a threat, it was perhaps the best thing he could have done. It was removing all options, forcing her to do what she couldn't make herself decide to. “I'm coming over,” Wufei decided for her, and cut the conversation. Sally slowly lowered the phone back to the cradle and turned towards the door, already seeing Wufei's shadow under the edge. As much as Sally knew he'd be there in no time she wished it had taken him a little longer.

The knock on the door was inevitable, she briefly considered not answering, but she knew Wufei knew the code to her door. Walking with hesitant steps towards the door Sally threw her loose hair over her shoulder as she pressed the button that would open the door. Wufei stood a step away from the door, expression unreadable. he didn't say anything, there really wasn't anything too say. He just stepped aside and walked with her back down the hall towards Heero's room.

Sally felt like a great weight was constricting her chest and it was an effort to breathe normally, she didn't want to draw any more attention than she already had. She just had to get in make sure Heero was okay, and get out again. Sally shook her head drawing a glance from Wufei, she knew it wasn't going to be that easy, there was just no way. All too soon they were standing in front of the door Wufei gave her no time to think about it as he knocked sharply upon the door and punched in the code. His hand on the small of her back guided her in, and the door slid closed behind her before she could even put on the breaks.

Her eyes found Heero immediately, though it wasn't intentional. He was basically right in front of her, his eyes widened when he saw her, it was clear he had not been expecting her. Sally stood frozen with her back pressed tightly to the door, her mind had shut down, she couldn't think of how to proceed from here. “Sally…” Heero said her name into the silence, and she flinched, it had not been said harshly he was just surprised, and perhaps a little pleased? Sally shook herself internally, it couldn't possibly be that, why would he be pleased to see her? Something struck Sally despite the fact that her mind wasn't functioning properly, Heero's features were not flushed as she had been expecting on hearing he had a fever.

WMWMWMW

Heero studied Sally in silence, the minutes ticking past slowly, it was clear she didn't want to be here, she looked terrified to be in the same room with him. Everyone had taken the news about the truth differently, and had come to him just the same, differently. It had been a challenge to try and find a way to bridge that gap and make a fresh start. But Heero thought this would be the hardest of all, he knew Sally felt guilt for her actions towards him that was clear just by looking at her, not to mention the fact that she had avoided him for this long. Heero didn't think the silence would be broken any time soon, he was impressed though that Sally was still in the room, when she could have easily bolted, so what was keeping her there?

Wufei had been standing outside the door when it opened, and Heero thought he saw him push Sally into the room. What had brought her here? Another question he would have liked an answer to, but it wasn't something he wanted to try and start a conversation with, he didn't think it would get them anywhere. So then, how was he to get her away from that door, and talking? One answer entered Heero's mind, something he felt was sure to work not matter how guilty Sally was feeling over her actions, actions Heero could hardly remember, like much that had happened then.

“Sally,” he spoke her name again clearly, and reached for the rail that lined the side of his bed, gripping it he made as though to shift position, but gasped in pain, letting it show upon his face. One eye closed as he winced, while the other watched Sally reacted naturally, as she would have three years before—though back then they would never have given her such an opening—rushing over to his side, concern clearly written on her face. But that was as far as she went, and she looked shocked with herself that she was standing there, if she had seen through Heero's rouse she didn't let that show. The pain for Heero had been real enough though not as bad as he made it out to be, and drawing a slow breath he thought quickly of what to say, he didn't feel as though there was a lot of time.

“I don't want you feeling sorry for yourself,” he said, looking up at her, unable to see her eyes as her head hung causing a curtain of damp hair to shield her face from view. “You fucked up,” he made the words forceful, not regretting the flinch he saw shake her, “We all fucked up,” he added just as firmly. “If you blame you for doing this, then I get to blame myself for everything I've done during the war,” it was just that simple in Heero's eyes.

Sally's head turned away despite the fact he already couldn't make out her face, “But this wasn't during the war…” she breathed voice catching at the end.

“Yes it was,” Heero was quick to counter.

“How can you say that?” Sally asked incredulous, her head turned towards him but not enough that he could see her face, “It's been three years since the war ended.”

Heero's eyes closed a little, “For you maybe…” it had never felt like peace to Heero, he knew he was living in an age he had never experienced before, but it had never been real for him. Perhaps because he had still had one last mission to complete, a mission that was still incomplete, who knew when Heero would actually feel the war had ended.

Sally shuddered her hands gripped tightly together in front of her, “I betrayed…who I am…” her voice faltered. “I broke my oath,” her head came up but instead of looking at him her eyes rose to the ceiling, he could at least see the tears standing out on the edges. “That had no connection to the war, and it's something I can never get back…” her voice was harsh, and he knew it was all directed at herself.

The former pilot felt no sympathy towards her for this, instead irritation rose within him, “I didn't throw everything away for the sake of the peace to come back to this!” In his mind, as much as he knew going back to how everything had once been would be very hard, that was what he had held onto.

“I don't know what you expect!” Sally flared as well her eyes moving a little closer to his face though they didn't look him in the eye. “I can't pretend like nothing happened! I can't look you in the eyes, let alone myself,” the emotion faded from her voice and her face fell behind a shield of hair once more, “I have no right to be standing here.”

“Sally!” he barked her name, and she flinched as though struck, “We've all done terrible things! Quatre destroyed colonies, Zechs rose up against the earth, if they can forgive themselves and move on you have to too!” It was an argument very much going back to what he had first said to her, and there was still so much more that he could add to it, his past was just as blood filled if not more so.

To his utter frustration Sally's head shook slowly, “Is that what you told them?” she inquired softly, though it became clear she really wasn't looking for an answer. “That might have worked for them but…”

“It's true for you too!” Heero was fast to interject, he didn't feel like he was gaining any ground here, and unlike the others he felt like he was fast running out of things to convince her with. “I don't blame you, I can't blame any one of you for what I made you believe,” he had said this before, something similar to all of them.

“I can't forgive myself for what I did…” she whispered, unconvinced by his words.

“You're going to have to find a way,” he told her firmly, grateful for at least one thing in all of this, the fact that Sally was still standing near to his bed, she had yet to try and make a break for the door.

As though his thought had sparked her into motion Sally glanced towards the door, with what Heero was sure had been a longing look, “I shouldn't be here…” it was said quietly as though only too her self, and Heero felt his anger rise. Had she given up, decided there was no further point in trying to solve this?

“Where are you going to be!” he demanded angrily, actually letting the emotion enter into his words, “Sitting alone wallowing in self pity!” She flinched again, but this time it was what Heero wanted, he wanted his words to cut, maybe that's what it was going to take.

Her hand was shaking visibly as it reached for her face, “I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with this…” the words hardly spoken were directed towards herself, as though Heero wasn't even in the room watching her.

“Stop it, Sally!” his voice raised a little drawing her attention back to him, “If you feel so damn guilty shouldn't you be more concerned about me than you!”

“What!” that had caught her off guard, which is exactly what Heero wanted, at least now she was listening to him.

“I just want everything back to normal,” he sighed feeling suddenly very fatigued, “I don't want to deal with this any more, and I don't want to lose any of you!” The last he spoke with out the fire of raw emotions, it was perhaps as close as his voice ever got to gentle.

Sally stared down at him for a long time, her eyes unable to remain still upon his face, but at least she was looking at him, thinking about what he said. Her eyes were glassy and her features pale, tremors still shook her hands, and trembling teeth worried at her lower lip, she was just barely holding it together but she was standing her ground. Sally opened her mouth as though to speak, but nothing came out of her quaking jaw, taking several moments she seemed to try and gather herself. Heero was content to wait as long as needed, nothing was ever going to be resolved if she continued to run from this. “It's…” she brought a hand up to her mouth pressing the back of her fingers to her lips, and with a shaky sigh tired again. “It's going to take…time…” she finally managed to get out.

“At least you're making the first step,” he was quick to point out, a knock on the door brought both their heads about, and Heero watched as John walked slowly into the room.

For some reason Sally seemed surprised be this and she blinked at him several times “Wufei told me you were sick…” a gentle and somewhat guilty smile touched John's aged face at that, and Heero wondered just what exactly had happened before Sally had been pushed into his room.

“I'm sorry about that Sally,” John apologised reaching out a hand to rest it reassuringly on her shoulder, “But I didn't think you'd come in here any other way.”

Sally's eyes looked to Heero, and though they still didn't rest completely on his own eyes, he could see the question in them, “I didn't know anything about this,” he admitted looking to John for some explanation.

“What I really wanted you to do was take the stitches out of his chest,” John told her, not bothering to explain anything else. Sally didn't say anything else in response to that but just held out one hand to show the old doctor how much it was still shaking, “You can at least lend me a hand.” He walked over to Heero's side casting a glance back towards Sally even as his hands reached for the blanket covering Heero, “Would you get me a pare of scissors?”

Heero caught John's hand before he could pull the blankets away, “What did you do?” he asked quietly.

John didn't struggle against his hand, and a good thing too as Heero knew he wouldn't be able to stop him right now, he still lacked strength. “I just left her no other choice,” he gently removed Heero's hand from his own and folded the blankets back.

An Unexpected Reunion:

“Dante, Ash,” her eyes settled on each as she spoke their names, “This is Dr John den Biesen, he was the one caring for Heero before he died.”

Ash's expression darkened at that but he said nothing, the old doctor looked to him, his expression appearing grieved. But that didn't seem right to Ash, why should this man feel anything but perhaps satisfaction? He had not been a friend to Heero, and not known him at his weakest. This doctor could only have known Heero as a traitor, someone he must have been glad to see dead. Ash could feel his anger rising, but a calming hand from Dante rested briefly upon his arm brought him back.

Une removed her attention from the computer before her, and slid it over to John before returning her attention to Dante and Ash. “I believe we should start, John?” all eyes turned to the old doctor, who cleared his throat before beginning.

“Heero was discovered in a terrible condition, both malnourished and dehydrated, he was severely under weight, and hardly conscious,” John's eyes moved between them as he spoke his voice sound as regretful as he face looked. “That was unfortunately not all we had to deal with,” his hand gestured towards the head of the table where built into the wall was a large screen which was now displaying a series of x-rays. “He had sustained numerous broken bones and deep lacerations, along with that internal bleeding.”

Ash stared at the x-rays hardly believing the battered figure they were displaying could possibly be his friend Heero, “How did that happen?” he demanded suddenly the fire of his emotions filtering into his voice.

“Unfortunately we don't know,” Une told him calmly.

“Well that's convenient…” he muttered darkly under his breath.

“Ash,” Dante warned quietly before looking back to John silently biding him to continue.

John glanced to Ash briefly before the majority of his attention turned to Dante, “We did all we could, stopped the internal bleeding gave him a transfusion, but the damage was just too great, infection set in, and he didn't have the strength to fight.” His brown eyes looked in Ash's direction then, and once again he looked truly regretful that they had not been able to save Heero, “I am truly sorry for you loss.”

That was it, something in Ash snapped, “Bullshit!” he barked coming to his feet and slamming his palms down on the table before, “He was nothing more than a traitor to you! I'm sure you were glad to see him die,” his eyes flashed to Une, “It saved you the cost of putting him on trail!”

“Ash!” Dante rose quickly taking his friend by the shoulders, “That's enough!”

“How do we know they didn't kill him themselves!” Ash demanded.

Dante's expression darkened as he pulled Ash away from the table, “This is not why we came here!” he hissed angrily, “Go take a walk, I'll deal with the rest of this.”

Ash glared darkly, shifting his gaze back to the two sitting at the table, a part of him wanted to fight this, he didn't want to be told what to do. But the other half of him no longer wanted to be sitting at the same table with the man who had not been able to save Heero's life. Muttering a curse under his breath Ash strode angrily towards the door.

Morganeth Taren'drel