Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ An Unexpected Reunion ( Chapter 37 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

A huge THANK YOU to morgansgirland Pious KnightYou two make my day!

Disclaimer: Here we are again...another chapter out...and I still don't own Gundam Wing

An Unexpected Reunion

Ash paced the length of the small conference room, feeling restless and therefore unable to sit down beside his friend, who had been watching him the whole time. They had arrived on Earth from their colony earlier in the day. Une had arranged for the meeting to happen that evening, allowing them a little time to rest from the trip, something Ash had been unable to do. As he came again to the edge of the room and turned to start back the other way his eyes unfortunately found Dante's, he looked away quickly but it was too late. “Ash,” his name was spoken like a warning, but he quickly turned away, continuing his pacing. “Come take a seat, you're making me tired just looking at you, and I've been sleeping properly these last few weeks,” the last was a very pointed remark but Ash just shook his head.

He couldn't deny, though, what Dante said, from the moment he had been told about this meeting Ash hadn't been able to think of anything else. He wondered if this would give him the closure he had been searching for all these months. At the same time he was anxious. He didn't want to know everything because then there'd be no hope that Heero was possibly alive, and that was a hope he had been holding onto from the moment his friend had disappeared. Ash pulled a hand through his hair, but quickly brought it before his face. For the moment at least his pacing stopped as he studied the trembling in his hand. A strong hand fell upon Ash's shoulder while he was still looking down, without him realising it Dante had stood and come to his side.

“Come take a seat,” he bade while guiding his friend to the table, and together they both took a seat. Ash could feel a restless energy build up within him, he didn't want to remain sitting he needed to be moving. But as he was getting ready to stand again, the door at the far side of the room opened and Commander Une walked in, with an older man following behind her.

“My apologies for making you wait,” She said taking a seat across from Dante while the older man placed himself facing Ash.

“It's not a problem,” Dante told her with a smile that angered Ash, she returned the expression while placing a small laptop on the table before her. She connected several wires to a panel in the table before she once more looked up, and glanced to the man who had followed her in.

“Dante, Ash,” her eyes settled on each as she spoke their names, “This is Dr John den Biesen, he was the one caring for Heero before he died.”

Ash's expression darkened at that but he said nothing, the old doctor looked to him, his expression appearing grieved. But that didn't seem right to Ash, why should this man feel anything but perhaps satisfaction? He had not been a friend to Heero, and not known him at his weakest. This doctor could only have known Heero as a traitor, someone he must have been glad to see dead. Ash could feel his anger rising, but a calming hand from Dante rested briefly upon his arm brought him back.

Une removed her attention from the computer before her, and slid it over to John before returning her attention to Dante and Ash. “I believe we should start, John?” all eyes turned to the old doctor, who cleared his throat before beginning.

“Heero was discovered in a terrible condition, both malnourished and dehydrated, he was severely under weight, and hardly conscious,” John's eyes moved between them as he spoke his voice sound as regretful as he face looked. “That was unfortunately not all we had to deal with,” his hand gestured towards the head of the table where built into the wall was a large screen which was now displaying a series of x-rays. “He had sustained numerous broken bones and deep lacerations, along with that internal bleeding.”

Ash stared at the x-rays hardly believing the battered figure they were displaying could possibly be his friend Heero, “How did that happen?” he demanded suddenly the fire of his emotions filtering into his voice.

“Unfortunately we don't know,” Une told him calmly.

“Well that's convenient…” he muttered darkly under his breath.

“Ash,” Dante warned quietly before looking back to John silently biding him to continue.

John glanced to Ash briefly before the majority of his attention turned to Dante, “We did all we could, stopped the internal bleeding gave him a transfusion, but the damage was just too great, infection set in, and he didn't have the strength to fight.” His brown eyes looked in Ash's direction then, and once again he looked truly regretful that they had not been able to save Heero, “I am truly sorry for you loss.”

That was it, something in Ash snapped, “Bullshit!” he barked coming to his feet and slamming his palms down on the table before, “He was nothing more than a traitor to you! I'm sure you were glad to see him die,” his eyes flashed to Une, “It saved you the cost of putting him on trail!”

“Ash!” Dante rose quickly taking his friend by the shoulders, “That's enough!”

“How do we know they didn't kill him themselves!” Ash demanded.

Dante's expression darkened as he pulled Ash away from the table, “This is not why we came here!” he hissed angrily, “Go take a walk, I'll deal with the rest of this.”

Ash glared darkly, shifting his gaze back to the two sitting at the table, a part of him wanted to fight this, he didn't want to be told what to do. But the other half of him no longer wanted to be sitting at the same table with the man who had not been able to save Heero's life. Muttering a curse under his breath, Ash strode angrily towards the door.

WMWMWMW

Dante watched the door of the conference room slam closed behind Ash, before he turned an apologetic look towards Une and John. “I'm sorry for that,” he sighed taking a seat again.

“Not to worry,” Une assured.

“He looked as though he's been balancing on that edge for a long time now,” John mused eyes looking back towards the door as he spoke.

“Yes, I was afraid this might happen, he hasn't exactly been sleeping well in the last little while…” Dante pulled a hand down his face.

“He was very close with Heero,” Une seemed to both question and speak to John.

Dante nodded to that affirming the statement before he straightened up in his chair, “Thank you for your honesty,” he began, “I didn't think this would be enough for Ash to accept the facts, but you've held up you end of the bargain. It's time I do the same.” He took a moment to try and gather his thoughts, before he spoke, “I didn't have much contact with Heero. No one really did. Ash almost seemed to force the friendship on Heero.” It had been difficult to get Ash to speak of his time with Heero, and Dante didn't like to ask, he hated hurting his friend as speaking of Heero so clearly did.

“Ash spent a good deal of time watching out for Heero, trying to draw him out. There were certain times of the year where Heero would abuse alcohol, at any other time he'd never touch it.” Dante had always wanted to know why it was Heero felt the need to drown himself in alcohol at certain times. He knew that Ash had tired on more than one occasion to discover what was bothering the Japanese man, but had never made any progress.

“What exactly do you mean by abusing?” John question, his voice seeming oddly concerned, as he watched Dante intently.

“He suffered alcohol poisoning twice, once Ash told me was not that severe the other time, the last time that Ash and I saw him, his heart actually stopped twice.” He watched John's expression carefully seeing an odd mix of what he thought was horror and anger. “There were other times, not so bad as those two, but Ash told me that he'd drink rye like water.”

WMWMWMW

Ash stood outside the conference room door with both hands clenched into painfully tight fists, he wanted to go back in there, but he knew Dante wouldn't allow it. He didn't know what he had been expecting from this, but it hadn't been what he got. Somehow he felt cheated Had they really proven anything with what they said and showed? Was it possible that had not been Heero? Ash sighed angrily pushing himself off the hard wood door and began walking down the hall. It hurt so much to keep his hopes up, but he knew now short of seeing Heero's body, something that was no longer possible, he's never be able to accept his death.

The hall was empty as Ash walked towards the main doors at the other end. Several wood doors lined either side, leading to similar conference rooms like the one that he had just left. Striding through the doors at the end of the hall Ash found himself in an open space, a simple square room, with another set of doors across from where he now stood which would lead him into the rest of the agency. On either side of the open space was a door leading to both a men's and women's washrooms. He briefly considered splashing some cold water on his face in the hope that it might help cool his anger but someone coming through the doors caught his attention.

A young man sporting an incredibly long braid came walking into the open room, the expression on his face was relaxed, even pleasant, and he blinked in surprise when he saw Ash standing at the other side of the room.

WMWMWMW

Dante reached into his pocket withdrawing a data disc which he placed upon the table and slid it over to Une. “This is the best record that I have been able to put together of the people and places Heero frequented the most while he was with us.” Une's small hand reached out to take the disc and nodded her thanks, “Also on that disc is a video file Ash stumbled upon a few days ago, we were unable to track it back to a source but it is directly related to Heero during the time he was missing.”

Une's expression changed when she heard this, John couldn't quite say what he was looking at, but she quickly put the disc into the laptop and accessed the information. One the screen at the head of the room a poor image of Heero being branded began to play. “I'm not sure what this all means,” Dante admitted, pulling his eyes away from the grainy image, “But Heero once had a brand similar to that on his chest, although we discovered it had been fake…Ash had no idea why he'd do something like that.” The expressions he was seeing on their faces was not at all what he had been expecting, there was no shock as though this was the first they had seen of this, they were in fact looking rather pointedly at each other.

Une blinked realising he was watching them, “Will you give us a moment, Dante?” she requested politely.

“Of course,” Dante replied standing slowly from the table and walking to the far side of the room to offer them a little privacy. He wondered just what it was that they needed to discuss, but was a patient man, and knew an answer would come in time.

WMWMWMW

Une looked to John feeling a shark of hopefulness at this new turn of events, “A member of the Inner Circle would not have just given us this.”

“I agree,” John nodded eyes glancing over to where Dante was patiently waiting, “How do you want to proceed now?”

“Dante's clearly a trust worthy man, and considering that the Inner Circle is centered on his colony it would help a great deal to have him on our side,” not to mention Une very much wanted to be truthful with Dante, no more secrets.

John nodded his head at that “It's clear Ash cares a great deal for Heero, though I wonder that Heero hadn't spoken about him.”

“Could be any number of reasons for that,” Une slowly pushed her chair back for the table, “Do you think Heero could handle a few guests?”

WMWMWMW

Ash remained motionless as Duo walked closer to him. he felt frozen in place, here before him was one of the people Heero had wanted to be back with more than anything. The very same person Ash saw as the cause of Heero's death. His hands flexed at his side as he let his anger loose, he didn't want to fight the feeling any more he'd willingly let it overpower him, if he could avenge Heero's death.

“So, you must be Ash,” he greeted his lips quirking up in a tiny smile.

That was the last thing Ash remembered seeing, he lunged at the former pilot rock hard fist catching Duo off guard right across the jaw. All Ash could hear was the pounding of his heard as he threw blind punches at the other man.

WMWMWMW

Une stood from the table along with John. Unplugging the laptop and taking it into her hands, she walked over to where Dante had continued to wait, and offered him a warm smile. “Considering what you've shown us, there's something I'd like to add,” she opened the door, “If you'll come with me.”

Dante took hold of the door for her and followed Une into the hall along with John, “What is it you want to show me?”

“Better that you see,” Une said with a shake of her head, she stopped actually looked down the hall, “Where's Ash?”

WMWMWMW

Duo blocked Ash's attacks as quickly as they came. This sudden assault had caught Duo completely off guard, but it hadn't taken him long to gain an advantage. It was clear Ash had skills in a fight, but it was hard however to gage how good he really was when his punches were being driven by rage. “What the hell is this!” Duo shouted raising his forearm to deflect another punch aimed at his head. If Ash had heard him he didn't show any sign of it, so far Duo had not attacked back, he had remained on the defensive, but if this kept up he might just have to get rough. “Would you lay off!” Duo tried to get through to the guy again, as he threw him back, but it was clear: Ash was deaf to the world.

The former pilot was glad of one thing; that the room was empty, the last thing he wanted to deal with was trying to explain why this mad man was trying to kill him. Duo had originally come here hoping he might get a chance to meet Ash, but this wasn't at all what he had envisioned. Relena had told him a little of Ash when she had finally been able to remember all that had happened to her. Duo had been curious to actually meet the man who had kidnapped her. The American ducked a fast punch to his head only to have to bring his leg up to defend himself from a knee to his groin. This was getting out of hand, Duo's fist shot out with lightning fast precision knocking Ash back and allowing Duo to regain a strong footing.

This time when Ash charged at him, Duo used the man's momentum against him, throwing him to the ground, with a painful thud. Ash gasped as the breath was knocked from his body, Duo retained his grip on the arm he had used for the throw and quickly pined the other main to the floor with a painful arm bar. Through it all Ash continued to glare and struggle against the pain, though lacking a good deal of the strength he had possessed earlier.

“Ash!”

“Duo!”

Two voiced shouted at almost the exact same time, Duo was surprised he had even heard with the pounding of adrenalin in his ears. On the floor Ash winced signalling he too had not missed the disgruntled shout of his name. Duo released the other man turning in the direction his name had been called to see a livid Une glaring daggers at him, and equally angry Dante loomed over her his icy stare continuing to pin Ash to the floor. John followed behind the two of them, silently closing the door, an expression of surprise upon his face.

“Just what the hell do you think you're doing!” Une demanded folding her arms firmly.

Ash jumped to his feet fire in his eyes, “This bastard killed Heero, they all did!”

Duo jerked at that, both from the fact that they had indeed come so close to doing just that, and the maelstrom of emotions in Ash's voice. The former pilot looked at the other man, and realised something rather suddenly. At some point in the fight Ash's shirt had been torn open, exposing his chest, a chest unmarked by any brands. Duo returned his gaze to Une who was almost tapping her foot in impatience, the American calmly folded his arms in a similar manner, and relaxed his weight back to one leg, the picture of calm. “I was just establishing Ash's connections with the Inner Circle, I would've chosen a different method if I'd been given the chance…” he jerked his thumb in Ash's direction. “I officially state he has no brand, but he does have a wicked fast knee to the groin…” Duo shook his head remembering the near miss.

All eyes were on him, most appearing surprised but Une remained unimpressed, “A fact I could have told you had you asked,” Une returned with a superior tone. Dante looked down at her with a questioning look, and Ash continue to fume where he stood a mere two feet from Duo. The American assumed the only thing holding Ash where he stood was the presence of Dante. “If you'll all come with me please,” Une ordered and walked across the room to the other door Dante kept in step, placing a restraining hand one Ash's shoulder as he led his friend to the door.

Duo chose to walk a step or two behind with John, “What's happened?” he asked the old doctor.

“Dante and Ash gave us the video file you found a week ago,” he kept his voice low as they walked through the halls of the agency, “Not something you'd expect the Inner Circle to divulge.”

“So what…you're taking them to Heero?” he kept his voice equally low not wanting any to over hear.

John nodded his head, “Lady Une pointed out it would do a great deal of good to have Dante on our side,” Duo couldn't deny that, having the head of the colony on their side couldn't possibly hurt. “Besides that, Ash has made it very clear how much he cares about Heero, I don't know how much time they actually spent together, but I'm glad he had someone looking out for him then.”

Duo's eyes dropped to watch the tiled floor he walked across, the guilt he felt over his actions flared up. They should have been there for Heero, without question his closest friends should have been able to see his plans and lend him support. He looked up suddenly when a hand fell on his shoulder, and found John looking at him with an apologetic look in his eyes, “I'm sorry Duo, I didn't meant to make you feel that way.”

He forced a smile and shook his head, “Don't worry about it,” he quickened his pace a little noticing how much he and John had fallen behind. “It's not your fault,” Duo stated. It was no one's fault but their own, something they were going to have to find a way to deal with one of these days.

John didn't say anything in response but his eyes looked unconvinced as he walked along side Duo into the elevator which would take them to the pilots floor of the agency. As short as the ride was Duo could lean against the tension that surrounded him, he felt the harsh glare of Ash's eyes watching his every move. Duo was grateful for Dante's presence, as the politician kept a restraining hand on his friends shoulder. The last thing he wanted was to try fighting off Ash in these closed quarters, even if it would show to Une that he had not been to blame for the first fight. Thankfully the elevator stopped and everyone walked out, all limbs attached and no new bruises to speak of.

Duo began to feel the buzz of excitement as they neared Heero's door, Une had decided on making this a surprise, which wasn't hard to believe. He didn't really think anyone would believe Heero was alive if they just walked up and told them. Duo tried to imagine how Ash might take the news, other than the strength of his fight to avenge a lost friend, he really had no idea what Ash's relationship to Heero had really been. The small group came to a stop outside Heero's door with Une in the lead, though at this point John had moved to stand directly in front of the door.

“I'm asking you now not to mention the video file that you showed to us, I'll explain more later on, John,” she turned her attention to the old doctor who knocked sharply upon the door before swiping his card through the reader. As a group they filed into the room Duo brining up the rear, gasps of shock broke this silence that followed as Dante and Ash saw who it was lying in the bed before them.

Ash's expression did not stay surprised for long, it fast turned to anger as he rounded on Une and Duo, “What the hell did you do to him!” he demanded hands clenching into fists.

Duo planted his feet a little more firmly on the floor reading himself for an inevitable fight, his eyes flickered to Heero who still appeared to be asleep, and he could understand Ash's reaction. “Hey he's alive, you'd think you'd be grateful!” Duo threw back, keeping his voice relaxed not wanting to fuel the fire that was driving Ash.

“Alive but your prisoner! Not much of a trade!” he spat.

Dante kept his hands on Ash's shoulders while his eyes continually traveled to Heero's prone form, he looked as though he might just agree with his friend thankfully that didn't extend to trying to fight everyone in the room. Une was watching Heero through it all, waiting for the former pilot to wake and put Ash's mind at ease. His doctor had taken up a protective position besides the bed his stance clearly saying he wasn't about to let anything happen in here that might hurt Heero. Duo though the tension in the elevator had been thick, it was nothing compared to this.

WMWMWMW

Heero had woke groggily to the sound of someone knocking on his door, silently he had hoped it wasn't John. He really didn't feel like dealing with people at the moment, and even less like eating. He was a little surprised and curious when he heard what sounded like more than one person walking into his room, but that wasn't enough for him to rouse himself completely. His feelings of panic on having someone walk into his room had lessened a good deal now that his left hand was always close to if not holding the gun Trowa had given him.

The silence of his room was broken by a barrage of voices, but Heero was having difficulty making them out, he focused a little harder trying to catch some of the heated conversation. “Alive but your prisoner! Not much of a trade!” a voice spat harshly.

“I'm alright Ash…” Heero found himself mumbling still half asleep, Ash always did worry too much.

Heero's eyes shot open then, when he mind actually caught up to what he had been thinking, what was Ash doing in his room? Several pairs of eyes were watching him when his finally focused on the room around him, Ash stood at the foot of his bed, his expression an odd mix of surprise, relief and disbelief. Duo stood off to the side he offered Heero an apologetic smile, “Sorry we woke you.”

John leaned down close to Heero, looking him in the eyes and resting a hand briefly on his shoulder, “I'll be back in later to give you something to eat.” Heero gave a brief nod of his head, his eyes still looking at Ash, finding it hard to believe the man was actually standing in front of him. Dante too appeared to be finding this all hard to believe, his eyes flickered between Heero and Une who stood across the room.

“I'm glad to see you're feeling better,” she said looking as though—at least to Heero's eyes—she didn't know quite what to say. This was the first time at least to Heero's recollection that she had been in to see him since his name had been cleared. He was doing a lot better now than he had been back then. She turned her attention to Dante a tiny smile lighting up her features, “I'll explain everything to you now Dante,” she said motioning towards the door. The leader of the Free Born cast one last look at his friend before walking towards Une and leaving the room. Duo and John followed a few steps behind, and Heero found himself alone with the one man who had kept him alive the three years he had been away from his friends.

They silently watched each other Ash looked stunned, he hadn't moved or said a word since Heero had spoken. Heero for his part couldn't think of anything to break the silence with, he was still trying to piece together how Ash had come to be in his room. Finally Ash seemed snapped out of his daze, a laugh escaping him it was one of utter relief, “I thought you were dead!” the hazel eyed man walked to the chair besides Heero's bed and dropped down leaning his upper half onto the edge of the bed. “Damn…what happened to you?” he propped his head on his hand, and seeing him this close up Heero could see just how tired Ash actually looked.

Heero drew a slow breath taking a moment to organise his thoughts, where was he to begin? That Ash was sitting here was answer enough that he could tell the man everything from the very beginning. “Over three years ago I discovered an organisation known as the Inner Circle…” Ash sat silently watching him as Heero spoke, his expression changing now and again as something he heard made a previous incident understandable. As Heero came to more recent events his account became less detailed partly because his recollections were so very fuzzy still, and secondly he didn't want to add any fuel to the fire he had heard in Ash's voice by telling him his injuries had been caused by a friend.

Ash sat in silence for several moments after Heero had finished telling the entire story, it was a good deal to take in, and Heero could almost see Ash readjusting his view of his friend. “Well that answered almost every question I've ever had about you…” he said with a crooked smile, as he tired to take it all in stride.

“Almost?” Heero wondered aloud.

“The last time I saw you, you almost died…” he shook his head expression turning serious, “Hell technically you did die, twice!” he levelled Heero with a heavy stare, “You don't look that much better now…”

Heero rolled his eyes, “Thanks…” his tone was incredibly dry.

“What made you do it? Why did you take that route?” he was completely serious again, in fact his voice sounded somewhat hurt, as his eyes looked down.

A tired sigh escaped Heero, as he remembered back to that day, and just what he had witnessed take place, “I saw something I couldn't live with…” he told Ash not looking at his friend.

“What was it?” Ash prodded gently, “Does it still bother you now? I'd hate to think after all this time you'd try to take your life again…” he sounded truly worried.

Heero would have liked to put Ash's mind at ease, but it just wasn't something he was able to vocalise, “It's not an issue now,” he was able to offer and he could see relief enter Ash's hazel eyes.

With that safely behind them Ash looked Heero over closely for what must have been the first time. There wasn't much he could actually see with the blankets covering Heero's thin body, and the former pilot knew he looked worlds better now than he had a few weeks back. He had managed to put on a little weight though his face was still gaunt or so he had been told, with no reflective surfaces around Heero had no idea what he actually looked like. “How are you doing?” he asked after several minutes his eyes studying Heero's face intently.

“I'm fine,” Heero responded without thought, it was the same answer he had given a hundred times before, it was second nature by this point. It didn't matter how they phrased the question the answer was always the same. Though for John that wasn't good enough, and the old doctor had become pretty good at rephrasing his questions so he'd get a little more information. Or worse still he'd fill in his own blanks which usually have Heero dealing with more attention than he wanted. It was all done in an effort to get him to be more specific, a losing battle Relena had called it a while back.

Ash shook his head, “Alright, we're going to lay out some ground rules here,” his voice had taken on its usual light hearted tone as he raised one hand fingers spread. “Answers you can't use…I'm fine, I'm alright,” he ticked each off with a finger, “I'm Okay, or any variations of those vague useless answers. I want to actually know what's going on here,” he dropped his arm down looking intently into Heero's eyes.

“John would be the one to talk to if you want the details,” Heero said eyes looking away from his friend once more.

“Why can't I get them from you? I'm here now,” Ash continued as always undaunted by the early notes of hostility in Heero's voice.

“Because I don't want to talk about it,” he told his friend firmly, he didn't want to be thinking about how much recovery time was still ahead of him, or to be reminded of the disadvantage he was at in his present condition.

“Not talking about it won't make it go away,” he pointed out with infuriating calm, and it felt to Heero as though he and Ash had not been separated by several months of time, Ash had so easily slipped into how he had been before all this. It struck him because the pilots had been unable to do this, then again Ash didn't carry the same burden the others did. He reached across Heero's body taking hold of his left hand, “How'd this happen?” he asked studying the scare that lined both the back of Heero's hand and his palm.

“Knife,” Heero said darkly.

“Whose knife?” Ash was quick to want clarification, “Where, when and why? I want more info that just what did it, I could have guessed a knife just by looking at it.”

“Does this all really matter?” Heero was unable to keep his frustration from showing in his voice.

“It does to me,” Ash told him seriously.

Heero sighed again, he knew Ash wouldn't let this go, he would push for the answers he wanted, and now that he knew the whole truth of Heero's life these last few years, Heero felt he'd push harder. The former pilot thought about the injury, and he didn't like the memories it brought to the surface, his right hand hidden by the blankets flexed around the grip of the gun, reminding himself that he was no longer helpless. But the fact that he could defend himself against a physical attack didn't mean he could against the invisible, the nightmares and emotions he didn't know how to deal with. It was too late now though, Ash wasn't going to drop this, and he was already remembering it.

He didn't look at Ash as he began to speak, “It was done by a doctor. Why he did it? I wouldn't know, and you can't really ask him.” Heero looked towards Ash but would not make eye contact with him, he didn't know what was in his eyes at the moment, and he didn't want further questions about this. Already he could almost feel Luc's weight resting down on him as he forced Heero's own hand to cut him. “He's dead,” his voice was harsh, trying to make it clear to Ash this was not the right topic.

Through the corner of his eye Heero could see Ash mull over what he had been told, but Heero didn't think Ash was about to drop the subject. “Who killed him?” his friend asked slowly his hazel eyes boring into Heero, a gaze Heero had been under numerous times and had never thought twice about it. Now however he would have liked something between them, he felt exposed and if possible easy to read.

“The others,” he ground out, knowing Ash would assume the other pilots.

“Ahh…” Ash breathed his eyes thankfully dropping away from Heero, then his head was up again, but he was looking over Heero towards the door, “How are things with them?” It was a careful topic change, and as grateful as Heero was that they were no longer talking about Luc, the other pilots was not entirely better. The tension he felt from them when they were with him, and how tentative they were when speaking to him just kept driving home how far away he was from what he really wanted.

“Fine,” he responded in normal tones, forcing himself to look Ash in the eye, he didn't want his friend to think he was hiding something and poke around for more information. Nothing was going to solve the problems they faced except time. It would be easier if Heero had been able to stand and find them, instead of having to wait for his friends to come to him. But there was no reason to dwell on what couldn't be, at least not yet. hopefully things would be better by then, asHeero was reminded always of just how much time was still ahead of him.

“Nope,” Ash smiled “Wrong answer, what did I say about `fine'?” he asked leaning forward and dropped his chin down on the backs of his hands.

“You said I couldn't say I was fine,” Heero told him stressing `I' as he looked somewhat smugly at Ash.

The other man straightened a little at that, “I did, didn't I…” he perked right up, “Well I'll just have to amend the rule, I don't want you using the words fine, alright, or okay to describe anything.”

“You can't just make new rules,” Heero contested willing to continue this so long as it kept him from subjects he'd rather avoid.

“It's not a new rule, I just amended an old one,” Ash smiled proudly at him, but the expression slipped becoming sombre. “I don't know if it was just me, but I felt a great deal of tension in here with everyone around…” he ran a hand through his hair, “If you weren't try to avoid the conversation I'd say it was me, but since you are…” he trailed off as though to leave Heero an opening to explain what's been going on.

It was an opening Heero had no intention of taking up, why wasn't there something safe they could talk about? Some topic that was far away from the problems Heero had to face. “Look you don't want to say anything, then I'll just start guessing, I'm bound to strike close to home sometime,” Ash broke the silence his patience clearly reaching it's limit. “I know how much you missed them,” he continued leaning closer and speaking very seriously. Heero kept his eyes focused away from his friend but not really looking at anything in particular. “Remember in the hospital, I didn't really understand then, but I do now you were incredibly close to them, you missed them then, and I think you still do now.”

“What's keeping you all apart?” he gave Heero a moment to make an answer but the former pilot remained silent. “They didn't know what you were doing? Didn't figure it out, they feel guilty that they didn't figure it out sooner? Is that it, guilt?” Heero retained his silence, and to his relief heard a knock upon the door seconds before John walked into the room carrying Heero's meal.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said as he came to a stop besides Heero's bed standing directly opposite to where Ash sat.

Ash made as though to get up, “Do you need me to leave?” he asked eyes flickering between John and Heero.

John glanced briefly to Heero, “I don't, I'm just here to give Heero a meal,” he said putting the container down onto a table which he swung over Heero's bed.

Heero could feel Ash's eyes watching him, and he tilted his head to the side with a slight shrug of his shoulders. He wasn't going to ask his friend to leave over this, as much as he didn't want to appear any weaker than he already was, sending him away would have just been worse. As Ash settled back in his chair John opened the container and laid the spoon beside it before he turned his attention to raising the bed up so it would be easier on Heero.

“You call that food?” Ash questioned sceptically leaning forward to take a sniff of the odd mushy substance, “Doesn't looked all that edible to me.”

John smiled in his kind way, “It's incredibly healthy, and easy to digest, just the sort of thing a recovering person needs.”

The former pilot looked at the spoon on the table before him, and willed his left hand to move to pick it up. The left side of his body had sustained the least amount of damage, and although he kept the gun by his right side Heero experienced less pain if he used his left arm. Reaching out a shaking hand Heero took hold of the spoon and proceeded to dip it into the food. As much as he outwardly didn't care if Ash was in here, the former pilot couldn't let himself look any weaker. He needed to be able to show, not only Ash but himself that he could do this. John said nothing on seeing what Heero was attempting to do, only moved the table a little closer so Heero wouldn't have so far to go. The time Heero had spent with John was enough to tell him that this was more pleasing to the old doctor than he was outwardly letting on. Much to Heero's relief John seemed to know that the Japanese man didn't want a fuss made.

Instead John moved a little further down the bed and took a seat, his brown eyes watching Ash, “I'm sorry I had to lie to you,” he said honestly bringing Ash's eyes to him and leaving Heero alone to continue struggling with his food. His hand was shaking visibly but at least he was actually getting the food into his mouth. He was surprised at how good it felt to take back even just this small amount of his independence.

“That's alright,” Ash forgave without hesitation, “Heero explained it all to me, doesn't take a genius to figure out why you had to do what you did.” John smiled in relief at that while he was subtly keeping half an eye on Heero while directing most of his attention to Ash. “So how's he actually doing? I tried asking him but he's as always not very forth coming.”

Heero silently wondered what John's answer would be, would the doctor speak as though he weren't laying right there listening? “As well as can be expected, the x-rays I showed you earlier were his.”

“So everything you said then was true?”

“All except the part about Heero dying,” John affirmed with a nod of his head.

The former pilot would have liked to know just what information about him had been given out without them even telling him about it. Heero's attention turned more completely to his hand which was at this point shaking so hard he could no longer hold the spoon. Without a word Ash moved from his chair to sit on the bed and took hold of the utensil, “You know I'm really surprised, I've never seen Heero so relaxed with a doctor present in the room,” he said casting his friend a cheeky smile as he helped Heero eat while keeping half his attention on John.

The old doctor moved from his sitting position to stand closer to the head of the bed, so it was easier for him to speak with Ash. “Just my natural charm I guess,” John smiled down at Heero earning a glare in return as the Japanese man finished off the last of his meal. “You look exhausted Heero you should really get some sleep,” John said with all seriousness pressing the button which would lower Heero's bed back.

Heero just nodded his head mutely, he felt exhausted and he hated to think that it was simply because he had tried to feed himself. As much as that had worn away at his strength he had been awoke when Ash and the others came in, and even then he had felt as though he could use a little more sleep. He let his eyes fall closed feeling comfortable with having Ash in the room as he let himself drop into a dreamless sleep.

Thanks for Reading!

Checkmate:

“A couple of weeks back Une was contacted by Dante who wanted to get some closure for Ash who was not handling the news of you death all that well.” His steady gaze watched Heero the entire time, “I was asked to explain to Ash how you had died, and in return they were to give us any information they had on the time you spent with them. I have to tell you a lot of us are curious to know how you spent you time, and not just because we hoped it might yield some further connections to the Inner Circle.”

“You know, you could have just asked…” Heero told him bluntly, it bothered him that they had been searching for information about him behind his back.

“Perhaps, but you haven't been feeling all that talkative this last little while, and as things stands we've already spoken with Ash and Dante, so there's really no going back.” Something about this was really bothering John, but he had yet to come out and say it, which was annoying Heero, he wanted to know the point of this conversation. “What I wanted to ask you about was, your infrequent abuse of alcohol,” John finally told him.

Heero's eyes fell closed, damn he thought darkly, if he could have kept anything from them it would have been that. “It's not that serious,” he said emotionlessly opening his eyes again to look at John.

“Not that serious!” John was shocked but he kept his voice down, “How can you say that? You suffered Alcohol Poisoning twice, once almost dying from it, that sounds pretty serious to me!”

Three times actually Heero thought to himself remembering the very first time, it hadn't been that serious but he had been sick from it. It wasn't however, something he was going to admit to John. Releasing a pent up sigh he looked directly into John's worried brown eyes, “Is it really that unexpected considering the situation?” he asked him pointedly. “I was hated by everyone, had no friends,” Ash had been a friend but he hadn't been able to understand exactly what was happening. “I was in deep cover for three years, you expect anyone to get through that without a couple of issues?”

John seemed to think that over for a time, “I guess not…” he admitted finally, “You can't blame me for being concerned though, I'd really rather not see this as your normal way of dealing with problems.”

“Sometimes that's the only solution there is,” Heero spoke quietly remembering the nightmares that he couldn't escape any other way. He had been spared them for the moment, when he was sleeping he was either too drugged to dream or not sleeping deeply enough. Heero wasn't looking forward to the first night they returned, alcohol wasn't always the answer, but when nothing else worked, at least it was something to turn to.

“Why Heero? I won't accept that,” John said with a shake of his head.

Heero wanted to tell him it wasn't his place to accept it or not, but he knew what John was talking about, for most people there were other options safer choices. “Because I won't talk to people,” there was a clear note of finality in his voice, as much as he was talking to John was more than he had ever envisioned himself ever opening up to someone.

“Will you talk to me?” Heero looked away, that wasn't a question he wanted to or was able to answer. “You know I won't pretend like nothing's wrong,” John continued softly. Heero didn't respond to that either, he didn't have to, he already knew that's what John was like. The old doctor gently patted Heero's arm, “Get some sleep,” he stood and moved towards the door. Heero watched him go in silence before closing his eyes, sleep was not hard for him to find, his body was still tired and the pain medication had a tendency to make him sleepy. Once more Heero's mind dropped into the blackness.

Morganeth Taren'drel