Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ The Need to be Alone ( Chapter 50 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

AN: Here we are with yet another chapter! And a mile stone too, Chapter 50, I honestly thought when I started typing this that 50 would be near to the end. How wrong I was, I'm presently working on chapter 60, there's just so much to write!

I swear to you there's more Heero/Relena goodness coming. I'll hopefully be able to give you a double chapter in the next little while (never imagined I'd be doing as many of those as I have been, but I don't think any of us would have made it this far without it (laughs))

A Huge Thanks! To my editor Pious Knight and morgansgirl!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing

The Need to be Alone

Heero's hands gripped the cold metal bar his legs trembling a little but continued to support him. Progress was slow, too slow, but Heero could see his legs endurance was getting a little stronger every day. He had already been working at this for a little while, Trowa silently watching from the far end of the walkway. Trowa had chosen to stand there on his own rather than following along beside Heero's slow progress. He appreciated it, the distance gave Heero a sense of being on his own. He didn't really like to be thinking that he had to rely on someone to watch out for him.

He stepped forward with confidence, his arms and his legs working in equal share to support him as he walked towards the other end of the narrow path before him. Through the corner of one eye Heero studied his right arm. The short sleeve of his shirt was covering half its length so he couldn't see the puckered scar from where his arm had been impaled. But he could see how thin his arm was, and the slight tremble that ran near continuously through the muscles. Heero tore his eyes off his arm and focused them before him, looking in Trowa's direction without actually focusing on his friend. He didn't want to be watching his legs or any part of himself for that matter, he wanted to walk without having to focus on anything, he wanted it to be natural.

Drawing in a sharp breath, Heero continued forward forcing himself on, trying to make each movement as smooth as possible. It was an effort, and there was pain, but Heero grit his teeth and pushed himself on. The sudden touch of Trowa's hand upon his shoulder brought Heero out of the fog suddenly, and he realised he was at the end of his path, and breathing hard wincing with each intake of breath. “That's enough for today,” the taller man said firmly, removing his hand from Heero's shoulder, and taking a short step back to give his friend a little room. Heero appreciated the small gestures, a little space to gather himself before he had to be moved back to his bed.

As he slowed his breathing down Heero's eyes looked off towards his bed, if he wasn't standing here working, he was laying there doing nothing. Heero stiffened at the very thought of it, he didn't want to go back to that, but he knew he couldn't stay here either, there had to be something else. Shutting his eyes for a few seconds, Heero drew in several calming breaths the pain in his ribs finally abating for the moment. Looking up finally Heero's eyes sought out the far edge of his room, from which the light spilled in, for once his eyes were not feeling light sensitive.

“Ready?” Trowa asked stepping closer as though preparing to pick Heero up.

“Over there,” Heero gestured using his head, not trusting his legs enough to release the bard.

Trowa's eyes followed to where Heero had indicated, and without a word he lifted his friend into his arms and crossed the room, placing the Japanese man into the chair closest to the window. Heero settled back, every muscle in his body feeling shaky and sore, and he leaned back completely relaxing, as Trowa twisted the chair more towards the window. For the first time in months Heero looked outside, much the same as the time Heero had first noticed the sunlight, he was amazed at how it felt. His window over looked the cliff edge down to the ocean, large white clouds moved slowly across the otherwise blue sky, causing the sea to be a reach hue.

After a few moments of silence Heero found a glass of water being held in front of his face, he jerked his head back to focus an unimpressed stare Trowa's way before reaching out to take the cup. It took taking a sip for Heero to realise just how thirsty he was, downing the rest he passed it back to Trowa who walked back into the bathroom to fill it. A knock on the door drew Heero's attention fully from the window and he glanced back over his shoulder to see who would come walking through.

Ash strode into the room as though he had not been gone from earth for more than a month. He wore his usual friendly expression, which split into a genuine smile when his eyes finally found Heero sitting at the far side of the room. “Now that's a much better sight!” he said excitedly, as he walked into the room, “How are you feeling?” Ash wasted no time in falling back into old habits.

“Tired, I'm sure,” Trowa responded for Heero as he stepped out of the bathroom carrying the glass of water. It was true, but not something Heero was about to admit, or refute for that matter, instead he chose to stand mute on the subject as he usually did, or at least tried.

“Always nice to get an answer even if it's not from Heero,” Ash laughed extending his hand in greeting towards Trowa. They both knew of each other, but had not actually met before now, they shook briefly before Ash seated himself on the windowsill, so Heero wouldn't have to twist in his seat to see him. “You going to say anything? Or are you too tired to talk?”

Heero swallowed the mouthful of water before focusing an unimpressed stare Ash's way, “When did you land?” he asked finally, noting Trowa had settled himself against a wall to silently observe.

Ash glanced down at his wrist watch, “About three hours ago, actually…” he chuckled then shaking his head, “The news media was insane, everywhere the moment we landed, I had a hell of a time slipping away from it all.”

“Une was there to greet you?” Trowa half asked, Heero had heard some talk about her going to meet Dante, the thought of the two of them together still seemed odd to Heero, but hadn't been sure if she actually would.

Ash chuckled a bit at that, “I'm sure there'll be more than a little talk in the paper about that. They kept their greetings very business like, but he's the only one she's come to the shuttle port to personally greet, even President Winner didn't receive such treatment.”

Heero sipped at his water, eyes flickering between Ash and the window behind him, he wanted to enjoy the absence of pain in his head for as long as it would last. Une had yet to come and speak with him, as the others had already, Heero realised yet again. It wasn't like he was in a rush to go through the same song and dance again, but he wondered at what was keeping her. Heero wouldn't have said they were close friends, rather comrades better described them, she had been like a boss to them, keeping them in line as much as she could, while still respecting their independence. Blinking Heero found himself looking into the steady gaze of Ash, who was watching him with a crooked smile, he was surprised having not even realised he had zoned out.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Ash asked looking at Heero intently.

“Nothing in particular,” he responded, ducking head a little to shield his eyes from the light, the ache wasn't back in full force, but he could feel it riding in the background.

“How's recovery coming?” Ash asked then not letting the silence last long though his eyes were on Heero, he did move enough to include Trowa in the question, “Somehow I have a feeling silence will be your answer, but that doesn't tend to tell me very much.”

“I don't know what you expect,” Heero said dropping his head back against the back of the chair and closing his eyes.

“Well you're on your feet, you weren't when I was here last,” Ash countered.

“And I've been talking to you online, so this should come as no surprise,” the former pilot returned opening his eyes a crack to regard Ash.

“So would you rather talk about how your relationship with Relena's going?” his friend asked with a wide grin, and Heero could see Trowa smirk at that.

“Quatre mentioned that he brought some pictures for you,” Trowa commented then drawing the conversation in his direction rather than Heero's.

Ash's eyes sought out the wall he had decorated, and he continued to smile. Heero thought there was hardly a time where there wasn't a smile on his friends face, Ash was very much like Duo in that regard. He stood then taking a step towards the wall, before looking back over his shoulder to Trowa, “Any idea how many he brought?”

Trowa considered the question for a moment, “I seem to recall, there was mention of a photo album...”

“He'd bring me that much!” Ash's eyes were dancing with excitement.

“He'd have that many at least, yes,” Trowa confirmed once more that ghost of a smile touching his lips as he watched Ash.

Heero brought his left arm up propping his head against it so he could better see Ash while at the same time shielding his eyes from the light, which seemed to have become brighter since he had sat down. Ash was studying the wall carefully one arm folded across his chest the other supporting his chin, “I'll have to see them before I know where I want them to go, but there's time for that later,” he turned back then returning to his previous seat.

There was silence in the room for several minutes, not uncomfortable, both he and Trowa were used to silence, they knew each other well enough, and were similar enough that they didn't need words. And for Ash's part he was used to Heero's lack of conversation, somehow knowing when it was best to just let the silence stand, even if he didn't always choose to follow his better judgment. Heero sighed inaudibly feeling drained all of a sudden, his eyes drooped a little as he continued to stare off at a spot on the floor near him. He was brought out of his near trance when he heard Ash's voice and felt his presence near, “What's this?” Ash inquired softly as he looked into Heero's eyes before reaching for the silver chain around the former pilot's neck.

“A gift from the others,” Heero responded tiredly, lifting his head from his hand to finger at the chain drawing the tags from beneath his shirt so Ash could better see.

Ash studied the tags closely, “This is nice,” he said looking back up at Heero, “I brought you another gift myself.”

“Hn?” he raised an eyebrow as he finished off the rest of his water slipping the dog tags back under his shirt.

“Your laptop,” Ash told him with a smile, “I thought you might like to have it back,” he laughed then, “Besides there was nothing I could do with it but use it as a ridiculously oversized coaster, the encryption on its too good.”

“Can never be too good,” Heero defended.

Ash grunted folding his arms tightly across his chest, “You up for a game of chess?” he asked seemingly out of the blue.

Heero's eyes sought out his bed and the table that rested over the end of it, he didn't exactly want to be back on his bed just yet, but at the same time he no longer wanted to be where he was either. He was feeling tired, and the pain was beginning to return behind his right eye despite the fact he was shielding his vision. “Yeah,” he answered finally, and watched as the silence that followed became increasingly awkward. Ash's eyes unintentionally flickered between Trowa and Heero, and it was clear to the Japanese man, that he was wondering if Heero could walk the distance on his own. And Trowa seemed to be hesitating in stepping in, perhaps wondering if Heero would want to be carried in front of Ash. Of course the answer would be no, he didn't want to be carried in front of any of them, by and of them. But there was no use deluding himself either, he wasn't able to walk yet, he'd look more the weak fool if he tried then failed, than if he relied on a friend.

It was not a happy trade off for Heero, and he didn't even think he'd be happy walking with the help of Trowa. Truth was simple, he wasn't going to be happy with a damn thing—hadn't been happy with a damn thing—until he was able bodied on his own. Part of that at least wasn't entirely true, Relena, he had been happy with her, though like everything else there were times of frustration, but it seemed to Heero, that despite himself he always relaxed when she walked in. An otherwise unknown tension melting away at the sight of her smile. Heero was shaken from his thoughts when he felt a hand coming towards him, instincts dulled from time laid up, were still strong enough to slap the hand aside as his glaring eyes looked up to Trowa. A tiny smirk touched his friend's lips at that, and Heero couldn't keep a similar reaction from his own face. It was reassuring to know that not everything had been lost.

Trowa lifted him without another word and quickly made the cross over to Heero's bed, where the former pilot found Ash already sitting setting up the board. Trowa placed Heero on the edge of the bed, allowing Heero to shift himself where he actually wanted to be, it was an effort with his muscles feeling as watery and unresponsive as they were but he managed on his own. He'd have it no other way.

WMWMWMW

Heero woke harshly in the early evening, his body trembling his mind feeling scattered. It had been a long time since he had experienced that dream. Sitting up slowly Heero drew in a few short breaths pressing a hand lightly to his throbbing ribs. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and there was a visible tremble in his hands. Heero glared darkly willing his body to come back under control, to get a hold of himself, but it seemed that terror from his past hadn't fully left him. Reaching for a glass of water in his dimly lit room Heero drank slowly trying at the same time to still his racing heart. He could still clearly remember when the horror of this dream had filled his every waking moment, somehow no matter how he had tried to hide it Odin had always known.

There had been no room for weakness, never in Heero's young life, he hadn't realised it all at the time, but he had known he needed to be strong, he had to be able to defend himself. But he was only a child, what could he possibly do? Faced with impossible scenarios and being on his own, abandoned by he couldn't even imagine who, Heero had been left in a very dark place. Helplessness was its name, and it was something he couldn't fight. From it sprang fear, and self loathing, though the latter Heero didn't really experience until later in life. Anger and frustration as well called that dark pit home. As tempting and seemingly helpful as those two were Heero knew just how quickly they could drag you down further.

Shuddering Heero raked a hand through his hair, wondering if this was only effecting him as it was because it had been so long since he had suffered a nightmare. He had been too drugged and exhausted before now to dream at all, a very welcomed relief to the usual demons who tormented his night hours. But even so this dream was a rare one, one Heero had thought he had left behind, but apparently not. Heero's eyes looked about the room searching for a distraction, and he found it, at the end of his bed.

WMWMWMW

John sat on the edge of his seat in the observation room just off from Heero's, he had been planning to go home earlier than normal today, but had stopped himself when he looked in the monitor one last time. Heero had looked distressed as he lay there sleeping his head turning one way than the other, his limbs tensing slightly beneath the blankets. For anyone else John assumed it would be the equivalent of thrashing about, something Heero had never done. It was something John had noticed almost immediately, once Heero had been sleeping normally, the boy hardly ever moved once he was out, always sleeping on his back. Something John was positive was not just necessity due to the broken ribs, any other position could potentially leave him vulnerable to attack.

The day had seemed normal enough to John, Ash had arrived early in the day coming to visit with Heero after he had finished working with Trowa. They had all appeared relaxed playing games of chess and talking quietly. John had even stepped in himself in the afternoon, to bring Heero his meal and speak with Ash for the time that Heero ate. The boy had looked tired to John, but not alarmingly so, Heero was quite often tired, as he pushed himself harder and harder to get back on his feet. So what had caused this disturbance? John had been half tempted to go into Heero's room and wake the boy, but he quickly thought better of it. He didn't want to catch the boy off guard, had made it a point never to catch Heero when he wasn't expecting it.

As it was the boy had woke, on his own, and appeared calm enough, so John had relaxed, though he had wanted to remain a little longer just to make sure everything was alright. He continued to sit watching, as Heero slowly shifted down to the end of his bed, sitting with one leg nearly under him while the other was bent before him. Heero's chin was resting on his knee, his arms drawn close about him. He looked small, as he sat there looking at the wall of pictures Ash had constructed for him. John leaned a little closer to the screen hoping to catch a glimpse of Heero's face, just to make sure he was okay, but there was no hope for that, his thick unruly hair cast deep shadows on his lean face.

John settled back in his chair eyes never leaving the screen before him, he was surprised to see the boy as he was intently studying pictures of himself and his friends. But at the same time it relieved him a great deal, tension had been building among the group as Heero clearly began to get impatient with his progress. John hoped the boy might be able to take the time to remind himself they were all just trying to help him.

WMWMWMW

Heero's cobalt eyes scanned over the numerous pictures covering his wall, they all triggered memories and some even strong emotions. And it all left Heero wondering when he had strayed from the path laid out for him by the men who had trained him, who had essentially created him. His vision fixed in on one picture of himself and the other four pilots, they had become his comrades during the war, had relied upon each other to complete the missions, to end the war. But when had he become so trusting? He had been specifically trained to handle situations on his own, you couldn't rely on others, they could let you down, betray you, cause the mission to fail.

It was not natural to trust only yourself and try and do everything on your own, but that is how they wanted him to be, their Perfect Soldier. He had been taught everything he'd need to survive, failure wasn't an option. Punished severely. Heero had become steadfast in his training, in the vision they had had of him, he would not fail the mission no matter the cost, even if it was his life. There was nothing he couldn't do on his own, no length he wouldn't go. So how had he ended up here?

His eyes continued their slow appraisal, moving from pictures of him with just one pilot, to ones where he wasn't even in it. Most were still shots of them standing at ceremonies or one of Quatre's parties. But there were a few action shots, very candid, times that felt to Heero almost a lifetime ago. His brow drew down, he had been so independent at one time, just when the hell had it all changed? Heero didn't regret the choices he had made, there was no use regretting anything that was in the past, still he would have liked to know where the change had been. Had it involved the first time he had laid eyes on Relena? Had she been the spark which lit the fuse?

Heero spotted an image of Relena among the pictures on the wall, they were dancing together, much as they had been back when the school had been attacked. Heero remembered being coerced into that dance, he preferred to watch Relena from the shadows, avoiding the camera flashes as much as possible. But she had been quick on her feet that night, telling him how could he better protect her out on the crowded dance floor but to be her partner. The media had had a field day, but he had endured it for her smile, which had dazzled the front page of just about every newspaper the next day.

Heero glared at the pictures on the wall, he didn't need any of this, did he? He hadn't back when he was young, he hadn't been able to afford it, was that the difference? Heero knew despite everything that had happened or would happen, he was an independent man, no matter how much he worked with the others to complete a mission, he needed his space. And that was something he wasn't getting at the moment, perhaps that is what ultimately brought on the nightmare. At the moment would he be able to defend himself if the need should arise? The gun resting on the bed near his pillow told him without hesitation that he could. But that was not the only problem he faced, he might have been able to protect himself, but he couldn't survive on his own at the moment.

It was an infuriating conclusion to force himself too, but it was the simple truth. The stronger he became the closer he came to where he had been, the less he had to rely on the machines that had kept him going when he had first woke back on Earth. However human help had had to fall into place, help Heero didn't want to receive but couldn't do without. Or could he? Heero's eyes darted about the room gauging distances silently wondering if he could make the trek, he felt a spark of determination ignite within him. He needed this, needed a sense of independence even if only for a day, he needed to know he could get by on his own.

Shifting on the bed once more Heero moved as close to the head as he could, and swung his legs over the side, his eyes immediately going towards the floor. Before rising once again, his destination wasn't that far, and with the help of the wall for support, Heero was determined to make it on his own. Stepping down off the bed slowly, Heero was at least reassured enough to know his legs would support him to stand. There was no rail along the wall but a narrow ledge at about waist height which Heero hoped would be enough to help him walk. Taking a moment to straighten himself and test the strength in his legs Heero placed his right hand against the ledge and took his first step.

He released a breath he had not even been aware he was holding as he brought his left leg in line with his right, now a full step away from the bed. His goal now one step closer seemed in easy reach, and Heero pushed on, making for the opened door of the bathroom. His movements were by no means fluid and strong as they had once been, but at least he wasn't falling over. It seemed an eternity before Heero reached the doorway, taking a firm hold of the frame he took a moment to catch his breath before stepping inside the black room. Heero knew the sink was close at hand, and near by the light switch, flicking it on Heero found himself staring at his own gaunt face.

Heero stood there for a long time studying the stranger in the mirror, he had not had the opportunity to really look at himself, wouldn't have really been interested if there hadn't been such a great contrast with what he remembered. He knew he looked more like himself than he had several months back, but there were still differences too that would never go away, or at least not for a long time. A thin scar ran the length of his cheek and another could be seen between the thick chunks of hair that spilled into his eyes. He couldn't even remember where they had come from, he knew it had happened when Zechs had brought him out of Freedom's Point, but no matter how he tried there was just no remembering it. Running a hand down his face Heero sighed his body was covered in scars, what was a few more? Most held no significance to him, now or even when they happened.

Turning his back to the mirror Heero leaned heavily against the counter, feeling that familiar shakiness in his limbs. Still he was determined to make this work, it was just another set before him, and whether they thought he was truly ready for it or not, didn't matter in the least. Making use of the bathroom, before he returned to the door way, Heero was confronted by John standing at the far end of the room. The old doctors presences came as no surprise to Heero, he had vaguely registered the knock on the door while he had been in the bathroom.

“Trying to prove something?” John asked with a raised eye brow, the expression on his face strangely hard to read. John had never struck Heero as a truly secretive man, he had always been easy to read, there was no mistaking when he was happy or disappointed. But at the moment Heero couldn't decide what John was thinking.

Choosing not to reply to the comment Heero instead focused his attention of making it back to his bed, there was more of a burden now to do it without faltering what with John watching him. The distance seemed so much further this time than when he had left his bed, but he pressed on supporting himself on the wall with each step. He was grateful to the fact that John did not feel the need to step out and help him but remain where he was just inside the room. When finally he did make it back to the edge of his bed Heero took a moment to catch his breath before hoisting himself up.

John stepped deeper into the room then the expression on his face relaxing though it still didn't tell Heero very much of what the doctor was thinking. “Care to tell me what happened?” Heero simply shook his head settling back on the bed feeling very tired but more than a little satisfied, he had proven to himself that he wasn't completely helpless. “I know you had a nightmare,” John stated then.

How could he know? Heero wondered silently continuing to study the doctor without any real expression.

“I understand from Sally that nightmares are common for you, that you'll even fight sleep to avoid them. Considering the life you've led this is hardly surprising,” he took a slow seat on the edge of the bed.

“It's not just me,” Heero corrected, they all dealt with their own demons.

“No, I know that,” John smiled gently, “But up until now you haven't had any...why?”

Heero eyed John for a moment wondering silently if there was any chance the old doctor would just let the matter drop. “Too many drugs...” he responded finally knowing that to be the simplest answer, and also that John wasn't likely to just let the silence be.

John blinked in clear surprise, obviously having not expected an answer, then that same smile returned to his face, kinder than Heero ever remembered seeing it still looked strange to him. “Ahh...” he breathed, “Do you ever talk about them?”

“They're not really worth repeating,” Heero told him quickly, he couldn't think of a time where he had ever related what he saw in his nightmares. He didn't want to put that burden on anyone's shoulders, least of all dwell upon them himself.

“I doubt I have to say this, but I will anyways. Sometimes talking about them makes it easier to deal with,” it was an open invitation.

Heero just shook his head, he wasn't about to impart that sort of horror on John, “They're nothing now,” perhaps that wasn't entirely true. But he didn't wake screaming from them, and a night without them could at times be more frightening than dealing. It left him wondering what he had done with himself the night before to avoid them.

“This was something...” John commented, ever observant and determined.

Reaching for the cup of water near to him Heero took the time to consider what if anything he wanted to tell John. Nothing of the nightmare of course, but some answer that might lead this conversation to an end, “I haven't seen this one since I was a child,” he decided upon finally.

“Did that make it worse?” the old doctor asked then, seeming to think he was making progress.

“No,” Heero returned taking another slow sip of water, what had made it worse was that he was an adult now, supposed to be completely capable of taking care of himself, and he couldn't do that.

“So then what's got you so restless?”

The Japanese man suppressed the urge to sigh heavily and locked eyes with John, now seeing deep into the old man's face, there was concern in his eyes he truly wanted to try and help in whatever way he could. “I need a day to myself,” Heero almost said the words before he realised it, but in the back of his mind he knew right away that's exactly what he was searching for. For now just one day where he could prove to himself he could be independent. “One day, no one else here,” he clarified.

Heero wasn't at all sure how he expected John to take that, not that it mattered to him it wasn't a request after all, in his mind there was no other option. John's expression remained very open as he considered Heero's words, “What about food?” he asked managing to catch Heero almost completely by surprise. The former pilot had been sure he was heading towards a battle, but that one question alone seemed to say John was seriously considering.

“Military rations,” Heero answered as soon as his brain kicked into gear again. They wouldn't require any preparations, and he had never really minded eating them.

John slowly nodded his head too that, “That would definitely be possible,” he turned thoughtful for a moment, “But when would you do this?” That was something Heero hadn't even begun considering yet, he had been convinced it would have just been a fight to get anyone to see this from his point of view. “Things are getting better between you and the others but it'd be best to choose a day where most if not all are already going to be busy. That way we can avoid stepping on any sensitive feelings,” John reasoned.

And Heero already knew the best day, “August 19.”

“The Sank Kingdoms birthday,” John mused allowed, “That would work rather well I think.”

Heero felt stunned as he lay there staring at the old doctor, he hadn't been willing to let go of this and much to his surprise John hadn't been planning on forcing the issue.

“I can understand how you feel, and I just want you to make me a promise,” his expression and tone suddenly becoming very serious. Heero didn't ask, he just watched waiting, “You have the call button, I just want to know that you'll use it if you need help for anything. Promise me that and I'll arrange everything else.”

It was a simple enough promise to make, though he swore to himself he wouldn't need it, Heero nodded his head “I will.”

Thanks for Reading!

A Day of Truths:

John stepped out of his car, it was 9:00 am on the 20th as promised he had given Heero his one day to himself, and he was eager to find out how it had went for the former pilot. John felt sure that Heero would soon be making steps in leaps and bounds, and he wondered if it was even necessary for him to come in as often as he did. Perhaps not, but John wanted to keep and eye on the boy, he wouldn't deny to anyone that he had become attached to him over the months that he had cared for him. This was one patient John didn't intend to loose touch with.

Walking inside the agency John heard his cell phone go off in his pocket, reaching for it as he made his way to the pilots' wing of the building, John flipped it open, “Hello.”

“Morning John, its Duo.”

“Duo, good morning how're Hilde and Anaya?” he asked cheerfully.

“There both fine,” the former pilot responded back, his voice holding a serious note to it, and John knew there was something important that Duo had to say.

“What's the matter?”

“We waited too long,” Duo answered with a sigh, “Heero found the video file last night.”

John stopped in his tracks, “What?” he asked in surprise, having heard Duo perfectly but for some reason feeling like what the former pilot said hadn't sunk in.

“Heero knows about the brand,” Duo clarified, “I just wanted you to know before you went in to see him, I doubt he'll be in a good mood.”

The old doctor sighed, “I wish we had been able to tell him about it…” the last thing John had wanted was for the boy to discover it like this, and it hadn't even occurred to him that Heero might have spent his day trying to find the file again. “Oh well it can't be helped now, thanks for the warning Duo, I'll deal with it.” Hanging up the phone and slipping it back into his pocket John walked with a new determination towards Heero's room intent on quickly finding out how the boy had taken the news.

In under five minutes John was standing outside Heero's door knocking on it, his right hand slipping the card key through the reader. The door slid opened and the first thing John noticed was Heero wasn't in his bed. Making a brief visual sweep of the room John couldn't see Heero at all, but what he did notice was blood, droplets on the floor, and large smears of it on the counter and drawers. Supplies lay scattered around in a general mess, which concerned John more than a little. “Heero?” he called the boy's name stepping deeper into the room, knowing that Heero had to be in the bathroom.

Morganeth Taren'drel