Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Mistaken Words ❯ A Day of Truths ( Chapter 51 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mistaken Words

AN: I'm sorry I fell behind again! I keep telling myself to keep up! but it never seems to happen >_< but I'll keep trying see if I can post the next 9 chapters to get you all up to date on the story!

Thanks to Pious Knight and morgansgirl all your work so far has been greatly appreciated!

fdgbrig: Thank you very much for the review!! I do fully intend to finish Mistaken Words no matter how long it takes me ^_^ I've put too many years in it so far to stop now! Thanks again I hope you enjoy these new chapters

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing

A Day of Truths

Heero woke early on the 19th for the very briefest second unsure why this day felt special to him, but as the sleep faded from his mind Heero remembered it all. He was on his own today. No one would be coming in today to check on him or work with him, and definitely not to push food into him. Of course there was food in the room for him, and for some reason knowing it was entirely his choice whether to eat or not made it more appealing. Shifting on the bed as he continued to wake Heero bent his legs slowly, the limbs finally responding as quickly as they used to. He had worked hard over the last two days in preparation for this day trying to regain the strength in his legs even if it was just a little.

He thought he had made some progress, he felt more confident in his legs' ability to support him, and although he tired quickly he definitely felt less threatened by falling. Heero was certainly confident that he could make it through today without any problems. Pushing himself up Heero pulled a hand through his already messed hair, his cobalt eyes flashing over the pictures on the far wall. Ash had taken his time yesterday adding more pictures, and as promised Quatre had brought a lot and Ash had been hard pressed to find room for all of them. As it was the wall was all but full, and Heero was pretty sure he saw Ash flipping through an album that he had not been able to take anything from.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed Heero sighed, he had the whole day to himself, exactly what he wanted, but what was he to do with all this time? On the table was his laptop. He hadn't had a great deal of time to work with it, perhaps he could find something to occupy his time. As he twisted to pull it closer to him, shifting back onto the bed as he did, Heero recalled something he had forgotten in all that had happened since Leon had entered and his recovery had really started. Opening the laptop Heero waited almost impatiently for it to start up so he could begin his search for that file that had been so heavily encrypted. Nothing was going to interrupt him this time.

WMWMWMW

Relena eyed her reflection in the mirror as the finishing touches were being put to her hair. Blue flowers that brought out the color of her eyes were being woven into the carefully placed curls. She looked every inch the princess she was in her silvery blue ball gown, but today of all days she would have preferred to wear anything else, to be at the side of the man she loved. Not attending such formal events. Glancing beyond her own expressionless face Relena focused in on one of her escorts for the night, Trowa leaned easily against the far wall watching her silently. She hardly thought of them as bodyguards, the term seemed too distant and unfeeling. They were as much there to enjoy themselves as she. Though she had a hell of a time convincing them of that, but she did manage to drag them all out onto the dance floor, and with them near by a comfortable conversation was never out of reach.

Turning away from the mirror Relena offered Hillary a warm smile as she came to her feet, “Thank you,” she spoke softly, “It looks wonderful as always.” That brought a strong blush to the older woman's face, Hillary had been the one to do Relena's hair and often makeup too for most formal occasion since everything settled down after the war. She was a wonderful woman, it was like she read Relena's moods the instant she stepped into a room. Easily able to be open and cheerful or reserved and quiet.

Taking hold of the flowing material of her dress, Relena crossed the room to where Trowa remained standing, silently watching. The smile on her face grew as she approached, but Relena wished it wasn't a conscious effort. She wanting relations to be natural between them again, she had once felt so close to Trowa like another brother she could pour her heart out to. He had been such a welcomed support during all the hard times, why had she hurt him so much? “What do you think?” she asked her voice betraying nothing of her dark thoughts as she slowly spun for him.

The tiniest hint of a smile, just a slight curve to the edges of his lips was the sight Relena was greeted with when she stopped to face him again. “I think we'll need to take a picture for him,” he breathed in soft tones, “It's been a long time since he's seen you like this.” They were always careful when discussing Heero where anyone might hear, though their quiet words were not likely to carry to Hillary's ears. It amazed Relena just how easily Trowa was able to speak about Heero, as though nothing had happened between them, as though Relena herself had not poured vinegar into a very tender wound. But was it real? Or was she witnessing one of his masks?

“Are you ready?” she asked smiling up at him, and offering her hand which he took.

“I've been ready for hours,” he commented slipping her hand beneath his arm.

Relena leaned in as they walked from her room, “But you don't mind waiting.”

“I get paid by the hour,” he smirked.

Sighing Relena looked up at him intently, “Is there anyway I can spend the whole evening with you?” He glanced down at her rather surprised, “I don't feel like dealing with the politicians today,” Relena knew they'd be there, of course they always were but they never gave her a moments peace. No time was inappropriate to speak about political matter, and on most occasions Relena could easily put up with it, but today she just didn't think she could do it.

“You don't think people will think that odd?” Trowa asked back.

“I pay you by the hour, I don't really care what people think,” she laughed hugging his arm a little tighter as he lead her down to the main hall of her home where Wufei would be waiting.

“What do you think Heero would do if he were here?” he inquired looking thoughtful as though he were himself trying to consider it.

Relena couldn't even begin to imagine, they had worked so hard to keep the relationship private that being out in public had always kept them distant. Even more distant than she felt she had to be with the other pilots. But if Heero were to escort her today she supposed the first thing that would happen is total shock, perhaps she'd manage a few moments of silence in the ballroom with him. “That would certainly be great, I wonder if there'll ever be a time when I can attend a ball with him,” she wondered suddenly very seriously if it would ever happen. She hadn't thought about it at all until now, but would Heero's name ever be cleared? Would the world ever know that he had helped save them not destroy them?

“I'm sure it'll happen sometime,” Trowa nodded, though there was no way to say when it would happen.

“I hope so, he deserves to have his name cleared,” but it was all a matter of one step at a time, they couldn't rush any of this.

WMWMWMW

Relena laughed, far more easily than she felt should have been possible, she stood among a group of men and women, one of the youngest there, as was the norm for her. Through the corner of one eye Relena caught sight of Trowa standing close by, his green eyes scanning the room in a relaxed manner. They had been at the ball for several hours already, and Relena was beginning to feel the tedious drag of time. The day was going just as she had predicted, no matter where she went if she stopped moving for more than five minutes she'd be surrounded and a sometimes heated debate would spring up. What made her almost want to laugh hysterically was she could remain totally silent during most of these discussions and not be pressured for her opinion. They could be having these discussions without her but they always seemed to gravitate towards her.

Trowa and Wufei had already each saved her once, which was by no means unusual for a social event such as this, but as Trowa had said earlier she really didn't want to draw unnecessary attention. “Excuse me,” a smooth masculine voice spoke up from among the throng of people surrounding Relena. It was a voice immediately recognisable to her, and clearly to the men and women around her as well. Their conversations halted and they parted instantly to allow Quatre to step among them.

He offered Relena a genuine understanding smile, before casting an apologetic look on the others standing around, “I hope you'll excuse me, but I must ask the princess for a dance.” His smile was disarming as he extended his hand to her, which Relena gladly took a smile blooming on her own features as she was lead out onto the dance floor. “You know there's an easy way to avoid that,” he told her softly pulling her close as he began to lead her about the polished floor. “There's no shortage of men willing to dance with you, you could always remain out here for the rest of the night.”

“Yes it's true,” Relena agreed with a quiet laugh, “But many of those men are hoping for more than just a dance, and I'd rather not give them false hopes.”

“Fair enough,” he smiled brightly at her before suddenly leaning in close to whisper into her ear, “Are you worried about Heero?”

Relena blinked suddenly taken by surprise at the question, but her expression softened seconds later, “I'm trying not to be, I know how much he needed this…”

“But you'd rather be with him, than here,” Quatre offered.

“Always,” she laughed softly, from the moment she had first met him Relena felt sure she had wanted to be with him.

Quatre pouted a little at that, “You know, you could have said, `Yes I like being with Heero, but next to him Quatre you're just as nice.' That wouldn't have been a bad thing,” he spun her suddenly and Relena couldn't help but laugh.

“I'm sorry, you're right. You are after all the trophy husband, I shouldn't make you feel less wanted,” she hugged Quatre tightly as the dance slowly came to a close, but neither of them made to step off the dance floor.

“Pardon my interruption,” a voice broke through the brief silence surrounding them and Relena tore her eyes from Quatre's glancing behind her to see who was there. “But I must steal the princess for the next,” Ash bowed rather formally, much as he had the first time she had met him. Relena blinked taken by surprise not just at the sight of Ash looking very handsome in his tuxedo but that it felt like a life time ago since she had been kidnapped from her mountain home.

“Ash you look--”

“It's a one time thing I swear!” he said suddenly tugging at his already loosened tie, for a brief second looking incredibly uncomfortable. His hazel eyes flickered around the room coming to land on something behind Relena, “Now what Trowa and Wufei are wearing looks reasonable.”

“You want to become her bodyguard?” Quatre asked with a laugh his own gaze focused on the two pilots mentioned.

“Just long enough to get my hands on one of those suits,” Ash laughed but sobered quickly as the music for the next song began, “But seriously,” he straightened slightly offering his hand to Relena in a formal looking way, “Shall we?”

Relena looked to Quatre who smiled releasing her hand to Ash and stepped back off the floor walking in the direction of Trowa and Wufei. Relena hardly heard the music as Ash led her about the floor, his movements fluid and confident, it surprised Relena and despite herself she laughed. “Can you tell me something?”

“Probably,” Ash responded with a wink.

“Where is it that all you soldiers learned how to dance? I wouldn't have thought it to be a requirement for war.”

“All?” he asked in return, spinning her briefly before pulling her back in. A void had formed around them on the dance floor as men and women watched.

Relena subtly pulled in a little closer, moving to whisper into Ash's ear, “Heero surprised me years back, he knows how to dance.” She could still remember the first dance they had ever shared, it had been such an odd time in her life, it almost felt like a dream, a bazaar twisted dream. But a part of her had enjoyed it as much as any fantasy a girl's imagination could make up.

“Heero!” Ash whispered back in total shock, “I did not know that...” it sounded as though he were musing more to himself an evil smirk touching his lips.

“You're planning on using this against him aren't you?” she laughed a little as the dance continued for the first time that night actually enjoying herself in Ash's arms.

“Who can say,” he smiled evilly pulling her a little closer, “To answer your question, I met Dante during the war, and shortly after he thought it might be amusing to bring a little culture into my life.”

“And you went along with it?” as natural as this all seemed for Ash Relena wondered if he had been an eager student, it seemed hard to believe.

Ash laughed then as the song finally drew to a close, “To be honest I wasn't really aware of what he was getting me into, and once I did there was no backing out.” He shook his head leading Relena away from the applauding audience they had acquired, “Dante has dirt on me he's not afraid to flaunt.”

“Such as?” this had become incredibly interesting.

“You don't actually think I'd hand that information over to you, do you?” he sounded incredulous.

“Well it was worth a shot asking,” she continued to smile as she saw her brother and the two pilots standing before her.

“I spoke with your bodyguards earlier, I thought it might be a nice idea to slip out of here and catch the fireworks display,” Ash finally released her arm, “What do you think?”

Relena didn't have to think about the question for long the thought of spending the evening with her close friends and not all these political figures was simply too tempting. “That sounds like a great idea,” she agreed.

“We have a change of clothes for you here, for whenever you're ready to leave,” Trowa told her softly, it didn't surprise her that they had been planning this from the beginning.

“Will you be coming Quatre?” she asked hoping he'd be able to make it, she wanted them all there, or at least as many as possible. She wondered if Heero would be able to see them from his room whether he'd even care if he could.

“I think I'll be able to slip away,” he confirmed with a nod.

“What time do they start?” she asked.

“We still have lots of time,” Ash assured, “They aren't scheduled to go off until nine.”

“But there's other attractions down at the waterfront,” Relena suggested with a hopeful smile, she couldn't believe how much she wanted to be away from here now that it had been brought to her attention.

WMWMWMW

Heero leaned forward on the bed resting his arms at his side for the moment, it had taken him most of the day to crack the code. It had surprised him when he discovered that the file was not where he had found it last time, it had been moved and security tightened at the same time. Still the code reminded him of Duo's work, and he wondered why it required such measures. He wasn't interested in asking his friend about it, that would have spoiled the fun of cracking the code and discovering for himself what required such measures. Now looking at the video file Heero could see what had triggered his search program over a month ago. He could make out the letters of his name mixed within a garbled bunch of symbols and numbers.

With his curiosity peeked Heero opened the video file so it filled the screen, at first he could see nothing but grainy pixels, but after a couple of seconds the image came into focus and Heero felt his mind freeze. His body didn't know how to react to what he was seeing, it had never been faced with this situation before, and so it simply shut down. Almost mechanically Heero's right arm reached across his body to press against the material covering his left shoulder blade. His fingers trailed along the hard ridges of the scar he had not known existed. Heero's arm dropped, a wave of disgust washing over him as his eyes—unable to leave the screen—continued to watch the creation of his brand.

He had escaped them, he had faked the mark, remaining separate from them. It had been necessary to make them believe, but for himself Heero had had to remain free, he had to be able to leave them behind. That was what he had told himself thousands of times, that one day he would be able to lay this mask aside and go back to the friends he had left. What did this mean, to now see this? That he had been branded by the Inner Circle while he was trapped within his own memories. He had not left them behind, had not escaped their ranks, he was forever marked by them.

Heero felt nauseas at the thought, as overwhelming emotions clouded his eyes and stole away coherent thoughts. He lost track of the amount of time he remained sitting there eyes remaining fixed on the screen as he watched the careful creation of the brand over a series of weeks. Still feeling as though he were in a daze, a tornado of emotions he didn't know how to contain suddenly arose. Heero shifted off his bed making his slow way to the bathroom. Once inside his hand reached automatically for the light, and he found himself staring at his own reflection in the mirror. It was a face he recognised though the expression was unknown to him. He didn't know what to think in that moment as he slipped the shirt from his lean body and turned to look over his shoulder at the image forever burned into his skin.

It stood out in stark relief against his skin, scarred as it might have been from training and the war. This brand stood out, there was no mistaking it, and Heero knew there was no chance it would ever fade. Once more his right arm reached across to finger at the edges he could reach as he glared into the mirror unable to believe. The others had known about it, there was no way they would not have been able to discover it. The question was, when had they found it? Had they been hiding this from him for months? He had received his answer for why the file had been so heavily guarded, the pilots had not wanted to risk just anyone finding it, but had they purposely hidden it from him? They had moved it since the last time he had found it…

Heero felt a familiar, and in this moment, more than welcomed emotion swell up within him. His fiery anger burned away the fog that clouded his thoughts, swallowing up the emotions he could not name, and continued to grow. They had hidden this from him, for months they had known and decided not to tell him, they had watched it be done to him, had hidden that fact too. What did they think he was a child unable to handle the truth? Heero's thoughts only added fuel to a fire which was already out of control.

His breathing became ragged as he tried to fight against the rising wave of rage, but there was no riding it out, he could only stare in the face of his pure unbridled anger and let it drown him. His eyes narrowed sharply as his body coiled, Heero struck without hesitation his body twisting towards the mirror as his right fist shot out to strike. Half the mirror shattered on impact, shards falling upon the countertop and floor, blood flowed from Heero's hand, but he didn't acknowledge it nor the pain that came with, all he could feel right now was rage and a strong sense of betrayal.

WMWMWMW

John stepped out of his car, it was 9:00 am on the 20th as promised he had given Heero his one day to himself, and he was eager to find out how it had went for the former pilot. John felt sure that Heero would soon be making steps in leaps and bounds, and he wondered if it was even necessary for him to come in as often as he did. Perhaps not, but John wanted to keep and eye on the boy, he wouldn't deny to anyone that he had become attached to him over the months that he had cared for him. This was one patient John didn't intend to loose touch with.

Walking inside the agency John heard his cell phone go off in his pocket, reaching for it as he made his way to the pilots' wing of the building, John flipped it open, “Hello.”

“Morning John, its Duo.”

“Duo, good morning how're Hilde and Anaya?” he asked cheerfully.

“There both fine,” the former pilot responded back, his voice holding a serious note to it, and John knew there was something important that Duo had to say.

“What's the matter?”

“We waited too long,” Duo answered with a sigh, “Heero found the video file last night.”

John stopped in his tracks, “What?” he asked in surprise, having heard Duo perfectly but for some reason feeling like what the former pilot said hadn't sunk in.

“Heero knows about the brand,” Duo clarified, “I just wanted you to know before you went in to see him. I doubt he'll be in a good mood.”

The old doctor sighed, “I wish we had been able to tell him about it…” the last thing John had wanted was for the boy to discover it like this, and it hadn't even occurred to him that Heero might have spent his day trying to find the file again. “Oh well it can't be helped now, thanks for the warning Duo, I'll deal with it.” Hanging up the phone and slipping it back into his pocket John walked with a new determination towards Heero's room intent on quickly finding out how the boy had taken the news.

In under five minutes John was standing outside Heero's door knocking on it his right hand slipping the card key through the reader. The door slid opened and the first thing John noticed was Heero wasn't in his bed. Making a brief visual sweep of the room John couldn't see Heero at all, but what he did notice was blood, droplets on the floor, and large smears of it on the counter and drawers. Supplies lay scattered around in a general mess, which concerned John more than a little. “Heero?” he called the boy's name stepping deeper into the room, knowing that Heero had to be in the bathroom.

Stepping around the bed, John glanced into the bathroom for the first time seeing Heero standing shirtless before the broken mirror. He was twisted so he was staring at the brand on his shoulder blade, his right hand bloody and roughly bandaged, fingering it as though he had been doing it for hours. Heero's face was a dark glare fixed firmly on the mirror, his unruly hair blocked the boy's eyes almost entirely from view. “Heero,” John spoke the boy's name again not sure what to expect but for the moment just wanting to get his attention.

“How long…” the boy's voice was harsh, and he didn't look away from the mirror, “How long have you known?”

“Why don't you come out of there,” John said noticing the shards of glass on the floor, he wanted to speak to Heero directly to better see the boy's face. Heero's head turned a little then and the look in those eyes caused John to shiver, and he sighed, “I've known about the brand since shortly after I met you.” He motioned for Heero to come to him, “But we didn't find that file until June.”

“Why did you hide this from me!” he demanded then turning to fully face John his hands clenching into fist, John could see fresh blood seep through the gauze wrapped about Heero's right hand.

“I didn't think it was something you needed to be dealing with at that time,” those were near the exact words he had spoken to the pilots, he had been confident in his decision then, and he wanted to remain so now. He could see the anger in Heero's cobalt eyes could understand at least in the simplest way where it came from, but those other dark emotions swirling just on the edges eluded John's understanding.

“That was not your choice to make!” he growled stepping out of the bathroom and moving around John obviously trying to keep as much of a distance between them as the room would allow. His shoulders were stiff and his movement's jerky and tired looking, he hung close to the wall using the small ledge for support. John wondered if the boy had got any sleep that night, he doubted it seriously not with how agitated Heero was.

John sighed, “It's been done Heero, at the time Duo found the video, I felt it was best to keep it from you, I asked him to secure it so you wouldn't find it.” He took a careful step towards Heero as the boy sat himself down on his bed, “I don't want you to be angry at the others, I made the choice and I stand by it.”

Heero appeared to be struggling very hard with this information, John wished he could understand exactly what the boy was feeling, although he doubted the knowledge could actually help him. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like to watch something being done to you after the fact, especially not something as clearly painful as this branding. John closed the distance a little more, the Japanese boy's face had become a stony mask, it was clear he was not about to externalise his anger. John wished he would, not in the way he had earlier by breaking the mirror, that wouldn't solve anything. “Can I see your hand?” John asked not reaching out to take it, partly afraid Heero might lash out in anger, and a little more concerned that the boy would simply bury everything that had happened and try to forget it.

“Its fine,” Heero said pulling away moving further onto his bed and slamming the screen of his laptop closed.

“You're not,” John stated. He debated what to say next, did he actually want to try and push it? “Are you just going to try and pretend like the brand doesn't exist?” he asked forcing a note of firmness into his voice trying to spark the fuse.

“You chose to keep it from me!” Heero ground out still managing to keep a firm hold of whatever he was feeling, “I'll deal with it on my own!” He turned away from John his head dropping a little as he pulled his left hand through his hair. It was clear to John he was still struggling very hard with this, and the old doctor was at a loss for what to do.

Placing his hand on the bed, John found himself holding his breath to see what the boy's reaction would be. Heero glanced up but that was all, there was nothing in his eyes now everything he had been feeling was blocked behind those walls of ice. John sighed walking around the bed to the counter on the other side and began trying to clean up a little of the mess that Heero had inadvertently made. Several moments passed before John glanced over his shoulder to see what Heero was doing, he half hoped the boy would be asleep, but doubted it would be that easy. No surprise Heero was sitting on the bed as he had been before John turned his back, his head bent slightly as though he were still in deep thought.

“Can I give you something to help you sleep?” he asked continuing to watch for a reaction.

Heero didn't react for a time, perhaps considering the question, perhaps not evening hearing it. Slowly he began to unwrap the bloody gauze from his hand still not looking up at John, “I don't want anything.”

The old doctor nodded mutely, and quietly began gathering some supplies, he was not sure in the least if Heero would allow him to take a look at his hand, but he was going to try. The boy sounded more normal, that didn't relieve John at all, in fact it only increased his concern, however for the moment he thought it might be best to let Heero deal with this in his own way. He only hoped when the boy was ready he'd let them help him as best they could. John seated himself carefully in front of Heero, the boy's head came up a little, but he said nothing.

“Relena's going to want to come in and see you,” John commented taking a slow hold of Heero's bloodied hand.

“That's fine,” Heero answered not pulling his hand away.

John breathed a silently sigh of relief, and pulled away the last of the gauze, “And the others?” he asked curious to see what Heero's response would be, and a little concerned. Relations between them had been relaxing slowly but surely, John hated to think a decision he had made would make this harder for them.

“Don't let them avoid me,” Heero responded firmly, but his voice was still hollow sounding since the anger had left him. John knew none of it was really gone. Heero might want to pretend that nothing had happened, that he had over come the shock and anger but John knew that just wasn't possible.

“This is going to need stitches,” he slowly cleaned away the blood wincing himself knowing how much this would hurt, but Heero gave no reaction. John reached for the table pulling it across Heero's bed so it sat between them, and he placed the boy's hand on it. John worked in silence casting brief glances at Heero's face trying to decide what to do about this. At the moment Heero was working very hard to pretend like nothing had happened, how long would he be able to keep it up?

Thanks for Reading!

Breathe the Free Air:

He pulled her in for a kiss, slow and gentle and he could feel her left hand find its way onto his leg, while her right tangled itself in his already messy hair. Relena parted the kiss remaining very close to him, “I never imagined I'd ever find something I could tease you about.” Heero chose not to respond to that but closed that small distance between them and pressed his mouth to hers firmly he wanted more. And Relena responded her hand leaving his leg to meet in his hair where her right was still running. Pulling her closer Heero felt one of Relena's hands stray to his back, unconsciously touching his left shoulder blade.

Heero fought the urge to stiffen and push Relena away, he didn't want to hurt her, but he had to break the contact, had to remove her hand. Pulling away he was met with Relena's pouting face, before he turned to slide off the bed. “Something wrong?” she asked following him.

“Leg cramped,” he lied, pressing his hand to his right leg a he walked a little not looking at her. He couldn't let this get to him, it was a weakness, he didn't have any weaknesses.

“Want me to massage it for you?” she asked suggestively taking hold of his wrist, and pulling him gently too her.

Heero felt his lips turn up a fraction at that, and forced his eyes to look up at her, “I'm alright,” he assured her. Relena just pouted at him for an instant before her expression blossomed into a smile.

“I heard from Ash that he took you up to the roof today,” Relena commented coming to her feet , “That must have been nice.”

Heero shrugged his right shoulder and lowered himself onto the couch near the far end of his room. He had enjoyed that brief time out on the roof, but couldn't see why he needed to voice it. Heero leaned back hard against the couch dark eyes watching Relena as she knelt down in front of him crystal blue eyes staring deeply into his. “You won't even admit it to me?” she asked with a tiny pout her long lashes batting at him, but he could see she was trying very hard not to laugh.

“What is it you want to hear?” he asked his right hand reaching out to play with her hair. As much as he enjoyed, perhaps that wasn't even the right way to look at all these little moments where he had gained something back. There was a sense of pride at having made it back, and perhaps relief, but could he really say he enjoyed it? That he took pleasure in things that he hadn't been able to do a few months before? It seemed to him that these `moments' really just showcased how far he had fallen.

Morganeth Taren'drel