Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ My Reality Is Twisted ❯ Beauty is Pain ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
My Reality is Twisted

By Lady Lye
(c)2001

Be forewarned- if this fic does well, I may very well expand the idea to the other boys. Each will be AU, just 'what if' things.

I must now thank my awesome author-buddy Mudpie, as I was inspired to write this from one of her fics. Both fics have kinda the same idea behind them (Duo's a girl) but they take drastically different turns. For one thing, mine has more sap. (Lady: Mud-chan I want SAP. Lots and lots and LOTS of SAP. Sticky gooey SAP. SAP SAP and MORE SAP!)
Disclaimer: Oh for crap's sake! It's not mine!! Hell, I admitted that even the original concept for the story ain't mine! … Wait, why am I writing then? OH, right! The whole 'be like Shakespeare but a woman, cleaner, and not dead' thing. Ah. Yes. See, the Bard didn't make up the stories- he just knew how to tell 'em. Thus is me. I want SAP, damnit!! So me'n my lil Beanie Bard are gonna write this ficcy. Ciao.

Other Crappy Warnings for People Who Get Scared Easily: This is obviously a 2/? fic, tho just who that other person is shall remain a mystery... for now... Also, there will be shonen ai (I'm going light in this...) and let's not forget my carefree use of language, ie: vulgar language. If any o' that bugs you, please scram or open your mind.

Important: This is What If fic, not in any way meant to take the place of good old fashioned yaoi. I adore yaoi, I really do, but the concept of if Duo were a girl struck my fancy and thus I am writing this. NOT to pretend homosexuality does not/ should not exist (HAH, if my IM buddies heard you suggesting that I thought that, they would probably die laughing. I love 1x2x1 and 3x4x3 and 2x5x2 and gawd only knows what else. Those just came to mind as my faves.) So DO NOT go there, ok? Just DO NOT suggest that I'm anti-homosexuality or anything cuz I will NOT respond well.

And on that happy note...

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Precisely on time, the large lights of the colony slowly started to turn on, faintly at first, only a dim orange glow in the otherwise darkened structure. Persistently, they brightened, their warm, cheery yellow light reaching out to spill over the entirely man made place. This simulated 'sunlight' trickled over lawns and inside windows, reaching into people's homes to tickle their too-easily fooled bodies and bring a start to the day.

The single bed sported a large lump down it's length, covered completely by a large, comfortable looking down comforter, purple. The room became ever more bright, and the lump wiggled and shifted uncomfortably, burying itself deeper into the folds of the duvet. It resettled itself and remained motionless for several more long moments as noises started to drift in through the open window of people going about their business. Oh the temptation just to stay here in bed…

Noises could now be heard in the house itself and a yawning figure shuffled into the doorway, sporting orange and green pajamas. She blinked sleepily at the bed and brushed a lock of dark hair out of her eyes. "Hey. Hey. You can't sleep forever, you know."

"Go away. I'm on vacation."

"Vacation or not- life goes on." She leaned on the doorframe. "I know it's rough," she continued gently. "and I know it's tempting, but you've really gotta just get up and get on with it."

A groan came from the bed. "Jus' fi' mor minuz…"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Duo…" she said warningly.

"Hi~lde," was the mocking reply.

"If you're awake enough to talk back then you're awake enough to get up, come on!" Hilde walked determinedly to the bed and gave the plush duvet a yank.

The lump squealed as it and the comforter flew off the bed and onto the floor in a heap. "For the love of- what'd you do that for?!" Duo Maxwell, clad in black boxers and a t-shirt, glared up at Hilde Shebeiker.

Hilde grinned down at her friend. "Wakey, wakey, sunshine!"

"There isn't any sunshine! We live on a colony!"

Hilde looked down at the heap on the floor thoughtfully, ignoring the rancid glare she was receiving. "Duo," she said with an odd note in her voice.

"WHAT?"

"Um, I noticed this yesterday… do you have any bras?"

"…" Duo glared up at her friend. "NO, I do not have any- any lingerie. I was a frigging gundam pilot, you think I had time to go to Victoria's Secret?" she snapped. "I have chest BINDINGS, not- bras." She seemed to have a slight difficulty saying the words and her cheeks had a touch of pink in them.

Hilde tried not to smile, knowing it might hurt Duo's feelings. She was so shy about this coming out. She hadn't lived like a girl in years and wasn't too comfortable with the idea yet. "Well, if you want to be comfortable walking around, you're going to want to get something with more support than binding." She indicated Duo's chest.

Duo blushed furiously, glaring down at her front. It had rebelliously grown and grown and grown despite all efforts and logic to the contrary. The result was a very nice effect for a girl of seventeen. She mumbled something incomprehensible and scrambled to her feet, piling the duvet back on the bed and rushing into the bathroom to hide in embarrassment.

"We're going shopping today," Hilde said enticingly, smiling.

Duo stopped before closing the bathroom door. "We- we are?" she said breathlessly. Her eyes took on a sparkly sheen. "Really shopping? You mean the way real girls do? To a big department store or a mall or something and we can get ice cream and try on clothes and get each other's opinion-" she looked like she might cry with happiness.

Hilde did laugh now. "Yes! We can do all of that! That's what being a girl's all about! So come on, let's get some breakfast, huh?"

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About midmorning the two girls hopped a bus to the mall, it being Saturday and perfect for shopping, especially for Duo's new wardrobe. She was bouncing up and down, chattering happily and Hilde just smiled and laughed, humoring her.

"You have to promise that you won't only choose black though."

Duo blinked her wide blue eyes, staring at Hilde. Then, "You know what? I don't ever want to wear another piece of black clothing EVER in my LIFE! No sir- that was a different time and a different place and Duo Maxwell is going to seize her life back now!" she proclaimed boldly.

Hilde covered her red face with her hand and tried to indicate to their fellow passengers that Duo was mentally ill.

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First stop at the mall was indeed a decent lingerie store. It was a traditional establishment equipped with older women ready to assist in all phases of the process. Hilde had thought it would be an excellent idea to come here as it WAS Duo's first time. Course, no one had explained any of this to Duo.

"You want me to WHAT!?"

On their way out, Duo finally properly clad, Hilde apologized profusely to the woman at the counter, red with humiliation. Duo glared defiantly at the sales ladies as they left, arms crossed protectively over her now restrained chest.

"Can you BELIEVE that place!?"

"Oi… uh, let's just, uh, go looking for shoes, huh?" Hilde steered her to a big 'SALE' sign.

The morning was a success, finding them both the cutest sandals, awesome clothes and even some nice jewelry. When they approached a rack of hair clips, Hilde looked at it wistfully.

"What's wrong?" Duo blinked. More and more her eyes displayed all her naiveté as she loosened up.

Hilde sighed. "My hair's way too short for these. But-" her eyes lit as she saw Duo's long rope of hair. "But you could wear them!"

"Huh?!" Duo started.

"Sure! Your hair's long enough! You know- Duo have you ever thought of getting it cut, though? I mean, do you really want to wear that braid forever?"

"I've told you before," Duo said, bottom lip trembling a little. "Sister Helen first did my hair this way."

"That was just an excuse for when you first started out as a boy with your long hair and you know it."

Duo fingered the braid, wrapping it around her fingers. "Well… I'm kinda attached to it now… I've had it so long… it WAS a handy way to keep it out of my face…"

"You don't need to do that anymore though!" Hilde grabbed her arm eagerly. "Come on! This is all about your liberation, isn't it? About making a break between your past and your future? You're taking out a new lease on life- be daring! Be bold! Be-" she scrutinized Duo's face. "Be scheduled for an appointment at the beauty parlor- when was the last time you did anything with your eyebrows?"

"Hey, I take care of my eyebrows!" Duo protested as Hilde steered her towards the beauty parlor. I didn't become a COMPLETE guy, you know!" she said defensively.

"Coulda fooled me."

Duo looked hurt. "Do you mind? You think I had the time to do stuff like that with that whole Mariemaia thing? So I let it go for a while, big deal."

"I'm sorry, Duo," Hilde said as they got on the escalator. "I forgot…" her eyes filled with unshed tears. "But you're not going to fight anymore, right?"

"That's for sure! I ain't gonna- not no way, not no how!" Duo said quickly.

Hilde looked at her suspiciously. "You joined the Preventers, didn't you?!" she accused.

"You wanted me to sit on my ass at home all day?" Duo snapped. "That's all I know how to do. The Preventers are respected and they- understand. Besides, it's policing, not mobile suits."

Hilde sighed as they reached the top. "I still wish you wouldn't put yourself in the way of stuff like that. I worry when you're not there. What about running a junkyard, huh? You used to seem pretty keen on that," she said hopefully.

"Work in filth all day!? No thank you! I discovered being clean and there's no way in hell I'm giving it up," Duo announced, making Hilde laugh, all forgiven.

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It was late afternoon by the time they returned home, laden with shopping bags. Duo was walking awkwardly, feeling self conscious in high heels, smooth legs, a dress and with her hair swinging loosely down her back, bound by no ties. She had only let them trim it a little to make it look neat. She was feeling very, very awkward. Hilde was babbling happily about how good Duo looked and what a great deal those shoes had been.

Duo smiled and nodded, looking around nervously. She could FEEL people's eyes on her. With an abrupt start she realized that they were men's eyes. And that they were checking her out. And that they definitely approved. In one stride her pace became more confident, her shoulders moved back and her head up, hair swinging deliciously. Nose slightly in the air, she gave off a confident air of not being up for sale that said that that didn't mean there was any reason for them not to appreciate her.

Sexual empowerment. A new thing for the girl who had grown up on the streets and been forced into pretending to be a boy just to save her own skin. She still shuddered to think of the close calls she had had before the great switch. Other girls on the street returned broken and battered- sometimes even pregnant. She couldn't let that happen to her, too. So she had bound her chest and adopted a swagger and with it a new confidence. She hadn't been touched since. Then came the day she made the mistake of sneaking into Doctor H's realm. Would they still have taken her on as Deathscythe's pilot if they had known she was a girl? The odd man had never known, she was sure. Damnit, she was too nice all the time, though. She let her mind toy with her memory of the last time she had seen her fellow pilots. She let her emotions play with her mind and it showed. Any time one of them looked as though he might get hurt, she panicked inwardly. These guys were the only comrades she had anymore and she'd like to think she had almost made friends with some of them, Quatre certainly.

Thinking along those lines made something in Duo's heart twist. Her only friends. And she was deliberately cutting them out of her life. 'So that I can HAVE a life,' part of her argued. It wasn't a very persuasive part.

Hilde continued to chatter all the way home. Duo smiled dimly. Maybe not her ONLY friends. Actually, Hilde was probably the only person she could actually call her friend and not wonder if it were true. She followed obediently inside, nodding and mhmming appropriately until Hilde turned to her.

"Alright supermodel, what do you want to do?"

Duo blinked. "Do?"

"Well look at you! You're all dressed up- let's find somewhere to go! A girl's night out, huh?"

She blinked into Hilde's eager face. She knew a good chunk of that enthusiasm was due to the fact that Hilde had finally given in and bought a certain blouse, but the idea WAS tempting. "Let's go to a club or something," 8she nodded.

"Alright!"

"Hil? Would you mind if I maybe went out early?" Duo asked imploringly. She was still feeling a little depressed- that was no way to go partying. And it wasn't as though she wasn't ready. "I'll meet you at the club at seven, huh? See ya!" she grabbed her new handbag and skipped out.

She told herself as she walked back out of suburbia into the more urban areas that the fresh air was making her feel better. 'Uh, hel-LO!? WHAT fresh air? This stuff's been recycled for- how old is this colony? Ew… don't want to think about what this air has seen…' she grimaced in her typical fashion. It was odd. Being a boy had opened new avenues to her and let the carefree, cheerful, fun-loving side of herself come out. She grinned as she heard a low whistle from a couple of guys as she walked past. Course, being a girl was maybe more fun than she'd thought.

Yes, life was good, she decided, sauntering down the street and drawing looks. She coyly perched her sunglasses on her nose and basked in the glow. 'I'm so gorgeous I've gotta wear shades- yeah, baby!'

The light was abruptly blocked out and she slammed into something full-on. Total shock made her freeze a moment, pressed against the object before realizing it was a person- oh horrors- no, worse- a GUY- and she jumped back, stammering an apology. "Oh- Oh, my god- I am SO sorry, I-" her sunglasses slid down the bridge of her nose and she could feel herself becoming paralyzed with fear. The man she had crashed into was also apologizing- he was bending down to pick up her handbag- oh, god, she'd dropped it- oh, god- oh, god- oh, god- She could feel herself hyperventilating. Panicking in the extreme. Any moment she would either keel over or bolt or burst into tears. Maybe all three, not in that order. 'Oh. God.'

"I'm really sorry," he mumbled shame-facedly, cheeks flushed. The sudden body-to-body crush with only the thin layers of summer clothing between them had unnerved him. He straightened to look her in the eye, proffering the bag. "Here, miss, I-" he stopped, an odd look on his face.

'Oh god. Heero.'

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~End Chp 1~

So? Whatcha think? Think it's crap? Think it's divinely good stuff? Think I'm insane? Dare to tell me that you think I'm bigoted? Whatever it is, please DO tell me! That's what Reveiws are for!!

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Ciao!!

-Lady