Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Never Again ❯ Remember Me ( Chapter 1 )

:: Never Again ::

By: lil Angel

Rated: PG-13 for foul language.

Pairings: All past relationships 1+2, 2+1.

Warnings: Cussing, and very mild sexual reference, male+male relationships.

Authors Notes: I just wanted to give a little information to clarify anything that might confuse anyone. Duo is pissed for a reason, he's not acting like a bastard for nothing. And Heero's no saint. Read the whole thing before judging the way I tried to portray the two of them.

Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing or the song by: Hoobastank `Remember Me.'

"Spoken Words"

[Song Lyrics]

{A Persons Thoughts}

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[I stand here face to face]

[With someone that I used to know]

[He used to look at me and laugh]

Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy stood at opposite ends of Duo's living room. Heero glancing around nervously, something Duo found highly amusing. The once immovable Yuy, cold, uncaring Yuy was nervous. "What is it, Heero? Hmm, what is it you thought so important to track me down after all this time?" Duo asked in a rather pissed-off tone. Heero had waited two years after the last war, to even look for him. "Duo, I want to be with you. I…I need you." Heero replied in a less confident voice than he had wanted it to sound.

[But now he claims]

[That he's known me for so very long]

[But I remember being no one]

They had been `friends' during those long nights way back when, in the war. Duo couldn't believe this though. Heero had never really treated him as an equal, looked down on him most of the time. Criticized every little thing about who he was. "Why now, Heero? Why after all this fucking time do you tell me this?" Duo glared as he questioned Heero. Only to have Heero look away. "I can't honestly answer that." Was the only reply forthcoming.

[I wanted to be just like you]

[So perfect, so untouchable]

[Now you want me to be with you]

"Leave Heero, I don't want anything to do with you. You never knew me. You only saw what you wanted to see. I'm not the clingy, hopeful, young man I once was. I loved you, you bastard." Duo's stance was defensive and his eyes shone with anger. " I would have jumped at the chance to have heard you say that…maybe two years ago. Hell, I'll be honest with you, I would have been in fucking paradise if I had heard those words even a year ago. But you wasted your time and breath by telling me this now. I don't want anything to do with you." Heero flinched at Duo's harsh words.

[Someone who used to have it all]

[Do you remember now]

[You acted like you never noticed me]

"Duo hasn't anything we've been through count still?" Heero pleaded. Duo didn't respond, only shook his head. "Please, Duo, be reasonable." Duo looked at him long and hard. Taking his time deciding on his answer. "No, I am being perfectly reasonable. More so than you ever were with me."

[Forget it]

[Cause the gone has come around]

[And you're not allowed to be a part of me]

Heero moved to cross the room, only to have Duo stop him by raising his hand. "No. Not this time and never again. Heero I don't want you. So stop making a fool of yourself." "I can't except that. Think of our past together." Heero knew he was losing this battle of wills.

[Did you know me?]

[Or were you too preoccupied]

[With playing king in your small kingdom]

"What past do you keep referring to, Heero? You mean the one, where we would fuck on occasion? Or the one where you treated me like shit? How about the one where you nearly killed me for asking you to stay and not run off and play protector for Little Miss. Princess?" Duo could only sneer, as Heero played with the hem of his shirt.

[And now the real world]

[Has stripped you of your royalty]

[And from your kingdom you're evicted]

"You know I looked up to you once Heero? Wanted to be a good little soldier boy, perfect even. Then I discovered you were nothing but an empty shell. Not worth the time I spent trying to make myself to be good enough for you. You never bothered to say one kind thing to me, no matter how much I tried to make myself better." Heero just stood there taking the verbal assault.

[I wanted to be just like you]

[So perfect, so untouchable]

[Now you want me to be with you]

"Duo listen to me. I didn't understand how I felt. I was confused." Heero said lamely. "Confused? Heero `Perfect Fucking Soldier' Yuy confused? I can't believe my ears." Duo said sarcastically. Heero looked helplessly at Duo. "But, I …..I love you. I want use to be together, Duo." Duo himself at this point was close to tears. "Heero, no more, please." Duo sighed, his whole being seemingly deflating. "I care for you greatly Heero. But things aren't the same. I have moved on with my life."

[Someone who used to have it all]

[Do you remember now]

[You acted like you never noticed me]

"Heero, it's getting late and I would like to get some rest. Would you please leave? I don't want to fight with you, and this is getting you nowhere fast." Heero's shoulders slumped, a defeated air about him. "Very well, Duo. If that is what you want. But Duo, ……. Think about some more please? Just give it some thought." Heero turned to go, heading to the front door. Duo could only stand there and watch as the one person who he had ever loved walked away. {Yes, Heero you will never know just how much you gave up so long ago.} Duo thought to himself.

[Forget it]

[Cause the gone has come around]

[You're not allowed to be a part of me]

The door clicked shut, alerting him that Heero was gone. But that this time it was he, himself that chose it to be so. It hurt Duo to know he could have had everything he had always wanted if only he had said on word. One small word. Yes. But how could he except Heero back into his life again. When all Heero ever did was hurt him in the end. He had never once in their entire relationship during the war indicated ever having the slightest feelings for him. Heero had never noticed how much he had truly hurt him.

[Part of me]
[Part of me]
[Part of me]

Duo thought back, letting his memories take him momentarily. Memories of all his time spent with Herro. Of Heero yelling at him for messing up a mission, or the time he hit him for saying something that might have let the other pilots know they had even kissed let alone slept together. Heero the ever strong, unmoving thing he was would glare at him for even uttering a loving word to him. He had given Heero his every thing, only to get nothing in return.

[You're never going to be a part of me]
[You're never going to be a part of me]
[You're never going to be a part of me]

Now it was Heero's turn to taste the bitter feeling of rejection. To know what it was to have one's own heart ripped open and stepped on. Duo sighed deeply, turning off the lights and locking the front door. Wearily he made his way to his bedroom. The moon creating silvery patterns across the floor and bed. A tear finally made it's way down his cheek. The hurt to great to keep to himself any longer.

[You're never going to be a part of me]
[You're never going to be a part of me]
[You're never going to be a part of me]

Now all Duo wanted to do was forget, forget everything. The past, was something he couldn't dwell on. It would only make him hurt more. Not only had Heero walked out of his life, his friends had as well. Quatre, Trowa and Wufie had all went back to their lives. None had tried to contact him in over two years. That had only added to the long list of disappointments brought about by him letting himself love and care for others. They always managed to rip his heart apart.

[Do you remember now]
[You acted like you never noticed me]

[Forget it]

His eyes trailed to a framed picture on his nightstand. It was of the last time any of the pilots had gathered in one place. Just after the Eve wars. In it Quatre was standing with a bright smile on his face, Trowa standing next to him with his eyes on the smaller blond young man, Duo grinning and glomping onto Herro's arm, Heero making a strange face as he was caught by surprise from Duo, and finally Wufie trying his best not to laugh at Heero's expression.

[Cause the gone has come around]

[You're not allowed to be a part of me]

That had been a happy moment for Duo, but the next day everyone had went their separate ways. Not one of them had even looked back. Again a sigh excepted his parted lips. Why did he keep doing this to himself? He had to be a masochist at heart. There was no other explanation.

[Part of me]

Heero was long gone by now. Duo let the tears fall freely now, not trying to hold them back. He slowly stripped out of his shirt and pants, leaving only his pale blue boxers to sleep in. He sat down on the edge of his bed. His body sinking into the soft mattress.

[Part of me]

He moved to lay back, his head resting on the pillow now. Eyes pinned on the stark white of the ceiling. {Well Heero you had you chance. And lost it. Maybe one day I'll forgive you but for now…..} He yawned, stretching his hand above his head and turned onto his side looking out the window at the bright moon. His eyes started close in sleep, but he snapped them open. {But for now my heart is closed off to you and I wont let you hurt me again, never again…} He yawned once more. Shutting his eyes, and relaxing.

[Part of me]

{Never again, Heero, never again……} His thoughts seemed to drift away as he finally let go and let sleep claim him.

(( THE END or is it? ))

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lil Angel: I hope that everyone enjoyed it. I myself thought it was a sad little fic.

Huntress: *crosses her arms* Too mushy for me.

lil Angel: *blinks* Wha? You helped me write it. Why you ungrateful little muse. *jumps at Huntress*

Rose: *Sighs* Ah, don't mind them. They do that a lot. It's a sad, sad fact of life. *waves goodbye to everyone* Come back again. Love to hear from y'all.