Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Pain of Life ❯ Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing but the plot and some original characters.

Rating: R - NC17

Pairings: Still not sure maybe a 3x5 later on.

Author's Note: I give you another chapter. I don't know what I wrote so please spare me.

------------------------------

Duo threw his joint onto the floor, starting to slowly make his way over to the raven-haired boy that his father claimed as his son.

"What are you doing?", he asked leaning against the counter watching as the boy continued to chop the vegetables in front of him.

Scoffing, Wufei only shrugged his shoulders.

"What does it looked like I'm doing?", he asked never looking up, "I'm making our father-"

"My father.", Duo interrupted.

Wufei took his mother away from him, he had no right to try and steal the only parent he had left. Looking up at Duo, Wufei turned back quickly, unable to meet his brother's gaze.

"He's my father too.", he muttered as he continued with his task, now cutting a little faster.

Duo stared down at the caramel colored hands as they continued to hack at the defenseless vegetables. Stared at how they moved smoothly, gracefully, he envied those hands. He envied almost everything of the damn son of a whore, but he would never let anyone know that. He denied it himself. He decided to just see it as hatred. And as he stared at the hands he 'hated' so much, he grew annoyed and angrier. He really needed to let out some steam.

"Would you stop it for fuck's sake!"

Jumping at Duo's outburst, Wufei quickly rested the knife down, dropping his hands to his side. His head hanging down, he slowly raised his hand to the counter.

"Don't touch the fucking knife.", Duo menacingly warned, making the ebony-eyed boy quickly lower his hand again.

"If it bothers you so much why don't you leave?", Wufei asked, in a very low whisper in hopes his brother didn't hear correctly and then take it the wrong way.

Unfortunately, he did. Grabbing Wufei by the shoulder he turned the boy, stepping in front of him and pushing him back into the counter. This in turn caused the cutting board and its contents to fall to the floor.

"What did you say to me?!", Duo yelled grabbing Wufei behind his neck, "Are you trying to get fucking smart with me?!"

He wanted to shake his head but Duo's grip made it difficult, so Wufei dared to open his mouth to say something. However as he watched as his brother suddenly reach for the counter behind him. A gasp was the only thing that exited his mouth as he saw a quick glint of metal. Staring up at his brother with wide eyes, Wufei kept perfectly still, feeling the cold blade of the knife that was held against his neck. Duo glared down at his brother, his left hand curled tightly around the pristine clothes Wufei wore. His right hand held the knife in a death grip against the boy's throat. Looking into his half brother's eyes, Duo grew even angrier. He couldn't read what Wufei felt. Couldn't figure out what his thoughts were. Duo despised those eyes for that. Their black coloring revealed nothing; hid all. It didn't help matters any that Wufei had somewhat mastered the art of not revealing his emotions with his facial expressions.

However, now was a time when his skill did not come shining through. Wufei's eyes were widened in fear and Duo felt the boy's chest rise and fall in panicked breaths. Smirking in satisfaction, Duo pushed the knife into the skin of the bronze colored neck, but not enough to cut it, merely leave a temporary mark. That and show his brother that Duo wasn't afraid to act on impulse. Wufei's whimper brought his attention back to earth and he looked back into ebony orbs that had started to brim with tears. He went to speak but the phone rang, making him growl in frustration. Pulling away from Wufei, Duo watched as the boy dropped to the floor on his knees. He merely scoffed, heading over to the cordless phone that rested on the table.

Wufei was still breathing heavily and he brought a trembling hand up to touch his throat. Duo had tried to kill him and he probably would have if the phone hadn't rang. Still shaking, Wufei wrapped both arms around himself, feeling his unshed tears start to run down his face. Ignoring his brother as much as he could, he decided to start cleaning the mess from the floor, afraid of what would happen if he didn't. He didn't want to take any chances. Duo was most likely still high and in the mood to hurt Wufei even more than he did when he wasn't. Duo on the other hand had answered the phone finding that it was Heero. His angry mood was lost as he rambled on about only God knows what. Although he only heard Duo's side to the conversation, Wufei continued cleaning, trying his best not to be entirely nosy.

"Heero I have to go, I've got a call waiting."

His brother's words caught his ear and he started to work slower, looking at his brother from the corner of his eye.

"Yes, he's my father."

That famous line was nearly expected and it most likely meant that his father had been arrested yet again.

"He what!"

Looking fully at the braided man, Wufei strained to hear as much as he could.

"I'm on my way. It's the hospital on streetright?"

Hospital? What did the hospital have to do with his father?

"Get your ass up. We have to go to the hospital."

Wufei slowly stood, daring to speak as he began to follow after his older brother.

"Why?"

Turning back Duo grabbed the Chinese boy by his clothes.

"Don't fucking ask questions!", Duo growled, letting the boy go harshly, "Just shut up and follow!"

Wufei did exactly as he was told, keeping quiet until they reached the hospital.

------------------------------

Wufei sat in the waiting room of the hospital, watching as people sat and worried over their family members who were rushed into the emergency room. That or waited for the news of a wife in labor, or just waiting for their chance when they could go and visit friends. It's not that Wufei wasn't worried about his father or that he didn't want to see him. Actually, when he thought about, he almost didn't care. One family in particular caught Wufei's eye as he waited for Duo to return. He watched enviously as a boy played and laughed with his father. Something he had barely done when he was younger. Unless you counted his version of hide and seek. Hide from daddy when he was drunk and sought you in a drunken rage. You had better have a damned good hiding spot, too. If you didn't, your penalty for being caught was a good bruise or two. Oh yeah, tons of fun. What he envied the boy for most, was the fact that his older brother played along with him too. Wufei never had games with Duo. Oh wait, another homemade version of a schoolyard game; tag. Duo was always it and when his mother was alive, she was base, though he rarely made it to her. Duo was a very fast kid. Continuing to stare at the three members of the family, Wufei looked up when he heard his name being called.

Staring up, ebony eyes met colbat blue, sending a shudder down the boy's spine.

"Heero."

The name came out in a flat tone, uninterested, as he turned back to the family he had started to fantasize as his. But he felt disappointment take him as he watched them walk out of the waiting room. Feeling Heero take a seat beside him, Wufei didn't even bother to turn and look at him.

"What's wrong with him?", Heero asked, staring straight ahead.

"Heart attack.", Wufei almost choked out, "And the doctors say he has alcohol poisoning. They pumped his stomach but they don't think he'll make it."

That was all he could mutter. He felt the knot in his throat and he swallowed it, fighting back tears. His father wasn't exactly the number one daddy, not when he was drunk anyway. When he was sober was a different story, Wufei could actually find himself looking to him as a father figure. His father was the only parent he had left, and if he was taken away who would he be left with? Duo?

"Hey."

Heero's voice had broken him from his thoughts, making the boy turn to look up in colbat orbs.

"What?", he asked in an annoyed tone.

Leave it to Heero ruin the atmosphere, but he was almost grateful that he did. Seeing the boy move towards him, Wufei quickly stood on instinct. He watched as Heero stood up to move closer.

"It's okay Wufei.", he said wrapping his arms around the boy, "You're dad'll be fine."

Not wanting to stay in the attempt of an embrace, Wufei quickly pulled away.

"Thank you, Heero.", he said as politely as he could, "I'm sure my father will be just fine."

Wufei caught site of his brother walking toward them over Heero's shoulder. He didn't call out to him and he didn't even try to speak to him when he reached them. He only took Duo's arrival, as a sign to leave. In which he did, catching site of Heero watching him as he walked away.

------------------------------

Wufei stood in the doorway, looking inside at his father. The man laid in the hospital bed, wires and tubes connected to machines and into him. He didn't know what emotions to feel at this moment and he wasn't sure if he should even see his father. If his father acted towards him with hatred, then it would have been a waste to even come here. Feeling the knot in his stomach grew bigger, Wufei turned to walk back to the waiting room.

"Wufei."

His father's voce stopped him in his tracks. The man's voice sounded so frail and hoarse, it made him sound much older than 38. It was much gentler; not the harsh yell he got when his blood was full of alcohol. The sound of it resembling the voice he took when he had conversations with the man. When he wished him happy birthday and when he apologized after the harsh beatings. Well some of them at least. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't walk away. Not when his father sounded so vulnerable. Turning back, Wufei caught his father's eyes on him. Even as he looked at him now, he couldn't imagine leaving. Wufei sat in the chair that was obviously left there by Duo.

The two kept silent, unable what to tell each other, unsure of how to start any kind of conversation. David stared down at his hands while Wufei stared down at the floor, his shoes becoming very interesting. After another five minutes or so of the electrical humming of the lights and the beeping of the machine, David decided to break the silence.

"I don't know what to say to you son."

Looking up at the sound of his father's voice, Wufei stared into his father's brown eyes.

"I truly don't know what to say. Except that....I'm sorry. I....."

Hearing his father stop as his voice started to crack, the ebony-eyed boy caught site of the suppressed tears, moving his chair closer to the bed. He reached out with cautious hands to take hold of one of his father's.

"I haven't exactly been the father that you had in mind.", David continued, tightening his hold on his son's hand, "I......the way I.....oh God Wufei. I'm so sorry."

With his father beginning to sob, Wufei leaned forward, his eyes widening in surprise as David grabbed him in a tight embrace. The last time he hugged his father was at his mother's funeral. A death brought him and his father together for a short moment. And it seemed as if it was doing the exact same thing again. Only this time, his father wouldn't be there for the rest of the years to beat the bloody hell out of him when he finds Heero and Duo on his living room sofa and needs someone to take his anger out on. His father wouldn't be there to blame him for the mess in the kitchen. His father........

"Dad?"

Coming back from the depths of his mind, Wufei noticed that his father was no longer hugging him, he now laid back against the bed with dull eyes still wet with tears. Judging by the man's labored breathing, Wufei was going to lose his father soon.

"Dad.", Wufei forced around the lump in his throat, "I forgive you."

Wufei forced new tears away as his father's hold tightened around his hand. He didn't know why he forgave his father; he didn't think he deserved it. What was that saying his English teacher had told him? The heart will always overpower the mind. [1] Maybe he always had feelings for his father; he just couldn't see it. With the heart monitor beginning to beep faster, caramel hands tightened around loosening pale ones.

"Fei?"

Fei. He hadn't heard that nickname since he was six. And now to hear it again.....he knew he father was leaving.

"Yes dad?"

"I just wanted you to know......."

Wufei never heard what his father had to say, only heard as the heart monitor no longer beeped but gave a long continuous shriek, telling the boy that his father was no longer amongst the living.

"Dad no don't go yet!", Wufei objected letting go of his father's hand, "What did you want me to know?!"

Wufei ignored the doctors and nurses as they rushed into the room, his dark eyes watching down in disbelief at the now still body of his father.

"Baba?"

The word was sobbed as he realized that his father wasn't going to wake up. No matter how much his father had hit him, or screamed at him, Wufei couldn't take the fact that he was now completely alone. A hand took his shoulder and he jerked away.

"Don't touch me!", he cried backing away from the doctor that had tried to offer him comfort.

He didn't want it. As sick as it sounded, he wanted his life back. He'd take the beatings; the abuse. He just wanted his father back; his mother.

"I don't want to be alone!", he yelled before running out of the room, pushing past nurses that tried to stop him.

He didn't care where he was headed; he just didn't want to be here. He had no one now, absolutely no one. Duo hated him with a passion and he believed he felt the same way towards his half brother. He couldn't count Duo as anything. Even though Sally came to mind, he knew he'd be taken away from her in some way. Arms wrapped around him to hinder his movement and Wufei cried out in anger as he struggled to get away. He ended up only tiring himself. Falling to his knees in defeat, he looked up to see the last person he wanted to run into.

"Go away, Heero.", he said stifling a sob, " Just leave me alone."

Kneeling in front of the boy, Heero ran a hand to smooth over the hair that was loose from its usual confining hairstyle. With Wufei beginning to cry again he pulled him closer, Heero smirking as he rubbed his hands in a soothing motion. Wufei was vulnerable right now. That was good news to him. Looking up to see his friend get the news of his father, Heero dared to think of the many ways he could help 'comfort' Wufei. He'd be out of his mind to miss this opportunity.

T.B.C.

[1] I made up that saying. . . just incase everybody's trying to remember if they know it or not.

Boy was that a sucky ending to this chapter or what? I'm sorry people I got writer's block around the end of it. Oh well, tune in next time for chapter 5. Leave reviews; the good ones of course. Ja!