Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Perfectly Broken ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 

Duo kept returning every time I would order supplies, and every time he came to deliver them, I would spend the next week thinking about him. His long chestnut braid and sparking blue violet eyes were so alluring, I would dream about them just staring at me while I ran my hands through that silky brown mass. No matter how much I tried to get his image out of my head, it would come back and make me feel warm inside. This is just too confusing.

 

After three months of living here by myself and rearranging everything in the house, I finally started to enjoy living here. There were times when I would still have nightmares, but the weirdest part of them was when Duo came in to save me from J. Duo had never met J, or at least I hope he didn't. I really didn't know and now that I think about it, I hope he never has for his sake.

 

I removed everything in the house that reminded me of J. Sold a bunch of it online and shipped it out to the buyers only to gain more pocket money that I didn't need. I donated to charities a lot, but made sure my real name was never told. I let the charities know me as Wing Zero, which I still don't know how I came up with it. Maybe it was because whenever I looked outside, I would see birds flying. Such delicate little creatures that can stretch their wings and glide on the wind, away from anything that would harm them.

 

Some days, I wished I was like those birds. I wished that I could grow wings and take off into the sky and join them in flight. But then I would remember what I was and what I had been. A zero, a nobody, only something to be used for someone else's pleasure, be torn in half and tortured if that was what the master wanted. Those thoughts in my mind made me depressed and I would spend days in bed just lying there in a ball. Sometime I would cry and other times I would just stare at the walls for countless hours. I was so pathetic those days and only the thought of Duo coming back to me when I ordered new supplies cheered me up.

 

I went as far as making sure the supplies I got would only last me a week or two so I could see Duo more often. He asked me about it the one day and made a comment about me missing his voice. I couldn't help but stare at the ground when he said that. It was true. Duo laughed it off and told me not to be embarassed about it. A lot of people he delivered to would tell him that they missed seeing him. Jealousy flashed through me when I thought about other people liking Duo, but then I had to stop thinking like that. Duo wasn't mine and he never would be. I felt my heart sink at that revelation. He would never want to be friends with someone who was as disgusting as I was.

 

About two weeks passed before I ran out of supplies, but I didn't care. I wanted to just die. The thought of Duo being disgusted by me crushed any hope I had of seeing him after we had that conversation. I felt sick to my stomach and just laid on the couch for three days. At least I think it was three days since I had eaten anything. A rumbling sound told me to eat, but a better thought told me that if I didn't consume anything I would just die. Dying right now seemed a much better way of dealing with the world right now. No one cared about me or even knew I was here except for Duo and I'm sure he had better suitors than just me. I was nothing compared with them.

 

I drifted in and out of sleep, willing my body to just shut down and stop working. So what if I was depressed, my body could at least agree with me and just end my misery. I was so out of it that I didn't hear the knock at the door until it came booming into my ears. I willed myself to get up and answer it. Maybe death came for me.

 

The locks were soon undone and I pulled open the door with a bit of difficulty since my strength had left me. The sun hurt my eyes and it took me a moment to adjust to the light's intensity. There in the doorway stood Duo, the same way as I remembered him, black from head to top and looking more radiant than ever before. A part of me hoped he was death itself and had come to take me with him to the great beyond or to just begin a new life away from all the pain I felt in this one.

 

"Geez Heero, you look like shit." Duo's voice was in my ear as I leaned against the door frame for support. My legs were shaking and I knew before it happened that I was going to fall. I pitched forward and started a nosedive into Duo. I felt warm arms wrap around me and a solid chest cushion my head. "Easy Heero, I've got you." I felt Duo pick me up and go into the house, but I really didn't care that Duo had finally entered my house. All I cared about was Duo's scent that I breathed in and the warmth that was heating my cold body.

 

Duo sat on the couch with me in his lap and began running his hands over me, seeing if I had injured myself somehow I gathered. J had done the same thing at times, but his touch had been rough and painful, Duo's touch was gentle and light. He opened my eyelids and stared into my eyes. I could see how worried he was and wondered why that was.

 

"Heero can you hear me?" Duo said sternly. I moaned as a reply. Even though the sight of Duo made me happy, I couldn't help but be annoyed that he wasn't death. He stroked my face and hair lightly and the rhythm of it was sending me to sleep. "Don't worry Heero. I'll take care of you." I heard Duo say as I drifted off to sleep.

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 

I awoke some time later in a white room and as my eyes started to focus again, I noticed that it was a hospital room. There was an I.V. in my hand and a saline drip was still pumping fluid into me. I had half a mind to rip the thing out of me. I tried to reach over with my other hand only to discover it was being held by someone else's hand. I looked over and in a chair sat Duo gazing down at me.

 

A sharp jolt passed through my entire body as I realized that Duo was holding my hand. My eyes inspected our joined hands, they fit so well together. Duo's hands were as big as mine and his thumb was rubbing the back of my knuckles lightly. That touch was so tender and I couldn't help but be a bit embarassed at the intimacy of the act. He was holding my hand, it made me to feel precious and made my cheeks feel like they were going to set on fire.

 

"Hey sleepy head. Do you feel better now?" Duo asked softly. I nodded, but kept my head bowed. "Hey. What's the matter?" Duo reached out and tilted my head up and tried to make me look at him. I let him tilt my head up, but I kept my eyes on the blankets that I was wrapped up in. "It's okay to be sick Heero. I was worried about you when I didn't see your name on a new order of supplies on my list. I knew you only bought enough for a week. Were you trying to go on a diet or something? You don't need to with a body like yours. You're perfect."

 

"No I'm not." My voice betrayed me and I finally lifted my eyes to see Duo's face. "No one's perfect, especially me. I'm perfectly broken. Why lie and tell me otherwise?" I asked him. Duo looked shocked at my words, but then his eyes softened and he rose from his chair to get closer to me. The hand that still held my chin was still in place and I could feel his fingers rubbing against my skin.

 

"I didn't lie." I frowned at him and Duo just chuckled. "Not to be so forward, but your perfect to me. You're beautiful Heero. Why would you starve yourself?" His voice took on a demanding tone and I felt I had no choice but to tell him why.

 

"Maybe because I wanted to die. Is that the answer you wanted?" I stared at him waiting for a look of loathing to enter his eyes, but what I saw instead was sadness.

 

"You really wanted to die so you tried to starve yourself." I waited for him to start yelling and braced myself. My body growing tense and huddled in on itself incase Duo decided to hit me for my stupidity. We were in a hospital after all, so if he did any damage to me I could just lay here until someone patched me up again. I waited for Duo to act, but he didn't and I finally thought he was going to leave. The he leaned in close to my ear and I could feel him breathing.

 

"Don't you ever do that again." He breathed into my ear. I allowed myself to breath as he pulled away and looked deep into my eyes. Those beautiful jewels could probably see into my very soul and take it from my body if it were possible. Duo pulled away, but gave me a serious look before sitting in his chair once more and holding my hand again.

 

He began to caress my fingers and hand as I allowed myself to relax once more. The soothing pattern felt nice and I allowed myself to enjoy Duo's pleasuring touch while it lasted. He was probably going to leave as soon as I fell asleep.

 

xoxoxoxox

 

I drifted off again some time later and saw that it was dark outside. The chair Duo had been sitting in was now empty. I suspected he would leave me, but I didn't think it would hurt so much for him to leave me without saying goodbye. Tears started to form in my eyes and I couldn't fight them. They trailed down my cheeks as I rolled over on my side and curled up in a ball. Sobs broke free from my throat as I began to think I would never see Duo again. He finished his duty by bring me here and left me in someone's care so he didn't have to. How I wanted him to take care of me instead. "Duo why did you leave me?" I wailed to the empty room.

 

I tried to stop crying, but couldn't and then felt something brush my hair and kneel on the bed behind me. "I didn't leave Heero. I'm here. I'm right here." A voice said behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Duo smiling down at me.

 

"Duo?" I whispered. He nodded. I rolled over and made room for him on the bed. He laid down next to me and then gathered me into his arms. I wrapped my own around his waist and buried my face in his chest. The tee-shirt he was wearing began to soak up all my tears until I had no more to cry. A few sniffles were left as Duo continued to run his fingers through my hair and rub my back in small circles.

 

"You thought I would leave you, hm?" He asked me softy. "Well I can tell you now, I'm not going to do that. You can stay with me after you get better. Okay?"

 

I thought that over and just nodded against his chest. Letting his scent surround me and his heartbeat calm me down. I didn't want to let him go, and I would chance anything to make him stay with me.

 

 

xoxoxoxoxoxox

 

TBC...