Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Perfectly Broken ❯ Chapter 22 ( Chapter 22 )

Chapter 22

 

xoxoxoxoxoxox

 

I don't know how long they gave me to rest. All I know was that it wasn't for very long. They wanted me awake to run a few experiments and all the while, the voice told me it was all right. It would all be over soon.

 

There were a bunch of vials of blood, hair, nail, urine, and skin samples that they took from me. Each one treated more delicately than the first yet, they weren't afraid to hurt me in order to obtain them. Their love of science was so much greater than any compassion they held for me.

 

Me their weapon.

 

They had me do endurance tests on machines that were stationed many floors under the basement. It was a lab of some sort and it seemed like they had everything at their disposal.

 

In the corner was a tank filled with water that they made me swim in, then hold my breath for as long as I could. They were pleased with my being able to stay under for almost five minutes, but then talked excitedly amongst themselves that if they increased the dosage I'd be able to hold my breath even longer than most divers.

 

For some reason, I couldn't understand what they were talking about. What dosage were they referring to? Would it make me carry out my missions more efficiently? I waited for them to calm down and when they did, they made me head off for another test.

 

It was many hours later that they fed me. Only the most nutritious nourishment for me, so I could get even stronger. One of the doctors told me to follow the chart he had handed me earlier that day to the letter. I needed to take in as many vitamins and minerals possible, since my health could not be jeopardized in any way. I nodded affirmatively and read through the chart as I finished my meal.

 

The chart laid out everything I was to do for the week, what to eat with my meals and the order I should take them in. It was all specific and he didn't make any room for me to protest. Not that I would.

 

My mission was given to me and I could not fail it. Failure to comply meant death and death was final.

 

With my meal ending, I was shown the dosage the doctors talked about earlier. Each day I had to take so many capsules to stimulate more muscle and bone growth. Some of the capsules were to enhance my blood flow, build up my immune defenses, and some how allow me to see so much better than my fellow man.

 

It didn't seem possible, but they reassured me that they all should work and to not disobey their commands.

 

I yielded to them and took the capsules for them then was shown my daily recommended exercising regimen.

 

It was intense and thrilling, although I wished that I could go outside. I was not used to being trapped inside, or being with these strangers. The voice said it was all right and so it was. I just couldn't seem to comprehend why I didn't want to be with them and let the voice soothe me as I did what I was asked.

 

My body was changing. Every experiment, every test, I passed perfectly. I wasn't even winded when they were finished and that made me worried even as the doctors celebrated.

 

What was there to celebrate? I was alone.

 

I had lost the light that fate had given me by the voice that was always speaking to me inside my head.

 

I wanted it out!

 

I wanted it gone, but it wasn't to be.

 

The doctors were making more plans for me to help me become what they believed would be their perfect weapon. I couldn't point out to them that J had already altered me when I was young and had already made me into his perfect solider. J had altered me without my consent, but had also broken my spirit so I could not rebel.

 

It seemed as though these doctors were trying to control my mind. The voice never stopped speaking to me and how I longed for the voice to belong to someone completely different.

 

A someone that was mine, but now could never be again.

 

I had hurt him even though it was my mission. A lover who hurt his soul mate could never truly say that they loved the other completely.

 

I did.

 

I had. Even if that moment seemed so brief now. There was no going back.

 

Duo probably hated me.

 

I had betrayed him, used him, and hurt him just by loving him because it was commanded of me.

 

Was the sacrifice of one man worth the price many would have to pay?

 

I couldn't answer that. My mind was already placed in one kind of hell. What difference would it make if others joined me in it as well?

 

The doctors probably wouldn't like that kind of thought. They didn't want me to question them, which was the only reason my questions have been unanswered. Doubt in my abilities would be their first notion and even then, they would probably up my dosages even higher if I made a recommendation.

 

The voice told me to stay quiet and it was safer that way. I wouldn't get into trouble and the doctors wouldn't suspect anything. I just needed to do their bidding and make sure I did everything right.

 

I couldn't fail or they would know something went wrong. My objective was straightforward and failure not an option.

 

“Zero. Stand down and go to your quarters. You are relieved for the rest of the day.” Doctor H called to me from his desk. He was cataloging my results again and looked pretty happy with them. I could only think to myself that everything was satisfactory and hadn't been flawed in any way due to his good mood.

 

Doctor S however, looked me over with a critical eye. He was much nicer than H and put me at ease when H's orders didn't make sense. He was kind, but was also strict. I guess he just needed to be for his own sake.

 

S lead me back to my room and handed me another chart to look over. This new one had a checklist of what I had done during the day and asked me to rate my performance.

 

I had no choice but to give a definite answer, and chose to be brutally honest.

 

I thought I needed more improvement and when I told the Doctor so he said he'd review my regimen as soon as he was able. He asked me for suggestions and I asked if I was allowed to do weight training. He told me it wouldn't hurt and he could add it to the regimen as soon as the next day. S then bid me goodnight and went to join H looking over my results.

 

I took in my surroundings as I approached my quarters. They looked so barren. Nothing like the room I had shared with Duo. There were no personal touches. The clothes I was allowed to wear were kept in a trunk underneath my bed. A small bathroom was across the hall from me of the same barren nature as my room. It felt like I was in a cell rather than a room.

 

But what would a weapon need with personal comforts?

 

Personal comforts will make you soft. They make you weak. Don't think about them! The voice told me.

 

I listened as it told me that I needed to stay focused. I couldn't become distracted by things my heart wanted. My mind needed to stay sharp and on the work at hand. I couldn't think of what I had lost. I needed to understand what was happening now.

 

If only it were that easy.

 

TBC...

 

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