Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Perfectly Broken ❯ Chapter 30 ( Chapter 30 )

Chapter 30

 

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Howard didn't have to wait long for me as I hurried down the hall to his office. It was always so warm in there that it seemed to penetrate me where I needed it. My fingers were still a bit numb from the cold but I couldn't be bothered by it. Instead I flexed them in the warm air letting them adjust to the heat as I came into Howard's office.

 

He smiled at me like he always would, I could tell his eyes were crinkled up even behind his sunglasses because of the small crows feet at their corners. If there was one thing I could count on, it was Howard never changing his style.

 

“Sit a spell and let me know what's eating you Heero,” he said gesturing to the comfy chair across from his own and snuggling deeper into his seat.

 

“I really don't know where to begin.” I said sitting down and accepting the cup of tea he offered me.

 

“The beginnings a good start as any, but let me get one thing straight before you start. You are completely serious about being with Duo, aren't you sonny?”

 

“He's the only person I've ever felt this way about and after what I did to him… I just don't know how we're supposed to get back to where we were.” I shrugged not really knowing how to explain things any further without telling him the whole story. Howard nodded in understanding and seemed to settle even more now that an invisible weight was lifted from his chest.

 

“Ah! Well see that's just one of your problems from the start.” Howard revealed with a no nonsense tone.

 

“What is?” I asked confused not really understanding where his mind had jumped from or where he was going.

 

“You're trying to dig up a past that is already done and over with. Maybe things are so strained with you two because you're trying to go back to that point. Sometimes it's better to forget things and leave them be while the wounds heal. Otherwise the scabs are just going to get ripped off any time one of you says something referring to the incident as I call it. From what Duo told me, you already apologized and he accepted it, yet you can't seem to move on.”

 

Shaking my head, I denied what Howard was saying. “How can we Howard? After what I did to him, I didn't even know what I was doing at the time and then it was too late. I hurt him so bad. I promised myself I would never hurt anyone like I had been and that's just what I did.”

 

How could I explain that any better than that? There was no forgiving someone who wasn't in their right mind and what was worse the voice that only I could hear made me do it. That was sure to win over anyone who heard that explanation.

 

“I think Duo would be a better judge of that than you Heero. Yes, Duo was hurt by you but I think what really hurt him was losing you to those two idiots that nabbed you. He was beside himself worrying that they murdered you or doing something so much worse. He was afraid for you Heero and he's worried about you now. You and I both know Duo can be a mother hen when he wants to be, sometimes to the point you want to smack him silly. However, I think it's both your faults that you're in this predicament now. Both you and him are so alike you don't realize it and so instead of saying anything to each other you both worry there is something even worse going on. But then of course you both continue to amuse an old man like me with things you should be saying to one another.”

 

I smiled a bit knowing he was right. But how could I start it all over again?

 

“What if Duo doesn't want to talk?” I asked hesitantly.

 

“Duo? Our Duo not waning to talk?” He asked incredulously. “You better start saying your prayers now cause sure shootin' Armageddon will start when there's a day Duo doesn't want to talk. You just need to get him to open up a bit. Maybe just by starting over and asking him out on a date and start all over again. Go out to dinner and talk about things you're both interested in doing even if it's just things at home.”

 

“What would that solve?”

 

“Maybe just as a good starting point for a decent conversation or maybe just to help you two get back on your feet. The longer this goes on Heero, the longer Duo's going to doubt you want to let things go back to normal. You do want things to go back like they were don't you?” He asked giving me the analyzing look I was used to and getting the laugh he wanted out of me.

 

“I do. I'm just hoping I can convince Duo of that.” I admitted.

 

Howard smiled kindly at me. “You will. Now, I think you better on hurry on home before the mother hen comes looking for you.” I smiled back.

 

“He's already waiting in the van for me. Thanks Howard.” I stood and reached out to shake his hand, but Howard would have none of it and grabbed my hand to pull me into a bear hug. It felt good and familiar, something I really missed and was glad to have once again. With Howard's blessing and a bid of goodnight, he escorted me out and locked the door behind me.

 

For a moment out there in the cold, I felt as light as a feather. And as I allowed my eyes to search for Duo in the van, my heart continued to feel the warmth I had gained in Howard's hug. Breathing in a deep breath I let the calm I gained settle over me and went to deal with the next hurdle.

 

My lover.

 

Duo was sitting in the running van just like he promised he would be and if I wasn't mistaken seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as I headed towards him. I was greeted with a smile and the warm air that rushed out as I pulled open the passenger side door. Strapping myself in, I smiled back.

 

As Duo shifted the van into gear he turned to me again, but seemed a bit more worried than I first thought. “So have a good talk with Howard?”

 

“I did. He was a great help to me.” I reassured him.

 

“Talk about anything I need to know about?” He asked and pulled out of our parking space. I smiled inwardly, seeing the mother hen poking through the surface already.

 

“A few things actually.” I stated secretively and then realized a moment too late that I shouldn't have. Duo's smile seemed to fade as he started concentrating on driving. I had to hurry up and amend what I said before his mind jumped to more unpleasant thoughts. “It wasn't anything serious Duo. Just ideas of where we should go out for dinner.” It wasn't exactly a lie but I wanted to get Duo's mind off the path I sent him down with my careless phrasing.

 

“Oh. Exchanging dining techniques? Howard should be a pro by now with everything he tries. If it's on his way to anywhere he's off to he's sure to stop at least once even if it's just to see how bad it is. So where's this place you're taking me.”

 

“Any where you want to go since I'm paying for the both of us. But somewhere we can talk and not be bothered.” I suggested and he nodded.

 

“Sure. I think I know of somewhere like that. You want to head there now?” He asked pulling into the turning lane.

 

“I think it would be best. I'm starving.” My stomach decided at that moment to rumble earning me a laugh out of Duo.

 

“That's as good a reason as any. Hold onto you're seat, I'll get us there in no time.” I did as I was told and no sooner than expected, Duo pulled into an out of the way diner and set about to race me inside. He won of course and quickly had us settled into a booth and talking to the server.

 

As I settled into my seat I waited for Duo to wrap up his conversation and receive our menus. He would never change but that was good, because I didn't want him to. He was perfect the way he was and I hoped I could reassure him of my feelings no matter how our conversation turned out.

 

After a few minutes we got our menus and made our selections and let the server move on to another table. Finally Duo and I were all by ourselves and I had his complete attention.

 

Showtime.

 

 

TBC…