Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Psychotic America ❯ The Space Between Us ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Alternate Universe, fusion, out of character charas, very disturbing information and scenes and Pairings: 1x4, 2x5 3(?)
Standard Disclaimers Apply: Don’t own Gundam Wing nor X-Men
Notes: Some stuff was changed around, here. I deleted some stuff, added some stuff, so it’s still the long winded, pompous bag that ya’ll are familiar with–just with some differences.
O0o0o0o0o0oO means scene change

Chapter Thirteen:
The Space Between Us

Duo awoke with a small groan, hands flying to his head. Blinking open confused eyes, he rose into a half sitting position, realizing that he was back at the cottage. He rubbed his eyes, wincing at a headache that raged through his brain. Blinking slowly, as if that would somehow help his headache, he glanced around, seeing Trowa laying nearby.
Duo raised his eyebrows in surprise, recalling that Quatre had taken him out. Did he somehow manage to take Trowa out as well? Or did someone else...?
He flipped off the blanket that was spread across his form, listening intently for anything that would tell him where the others were. He heard nothing but silence, and rose unsteadily. He touched his sore head gently, fingering dried blood and a raised goose egg. Wincing at the abnormal lump caused by the physical trauma of impact with the branch, he stumbled over to the door. Opening it, he glanced out, his eyes nearly squeezing shut at the brightness in the same instant. It triggered an even more painful response from his pained head. He shut the door, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. He turned away from the door, stumbling back to his couch, and sat down at the edge.
He looked up when Trowa moved, grunting with annoyance as he thrust the blanket from him, and rose. He, too, was unsteady, but looked pissed as he bent, holding onto the coffee table for balance. He stared at Duo accusingly, as if this were all his fault, then straightened, stumbling toward the front door.
“I wouldn’t do it if I were you!” Duo called. He heard Trowa open the door, grunt, and slam it shut.
“Fucking snow!” Trowa then growled, rubbing his eyes. “Damn it! I was taken out by a fucking weakling! Who can’t even open a Goddamned pickle jar!! FUCK!”
Duo smirked at him, feeling uplifted. “So, he got you, too, huh? Well, cool on him, man.”
“Fuck that bullshit! This is a destructive blow on my fucking pride...”
Duo laughed, but it hurt too much for his head. “Oh, get over it, you anti-social dick. You know the rules. Hell, this is his first time, too. I bet he was fuckin’ stressed about it, too. Didn’t want to do it. You know how gentle he is.”
“Fuck ‘gentle’. Try fucking weak and prissy. Flaming gay-ass gaylord.”
“Stop getting your thong in a bunch, Tro,” Duo commanded, but chuckled at Trowa’s obvious loss of pride in himself.
“I think I’m going to hang myself, now. Lemme alone,” Trowa muttered, stomping off toward the bathroom upstairs.
Duo blinked, wondering if the green-eyed boy was actually going to go so far in such measures. Just as he was contemplating intervening, the front door slammed open. He whirled, dropping the blanket back onto the couch. Wufei and Quatre were dragging in Heero, his arms propped over their necks, both of them grunting and straining to carry him.
Duo automatically looked over Wufei, finding him a little dirty, with some dry blood at the corner of his mouth, but otherwise okay. Then he hurried over, marveling over the fact that Heero was unconscious, his face a myriad display of bloodied scratches, dirt, and bruises. Quatre looked just the same as Heero, if not muddier.
Both of them dragged Heero over to the couch, where they struggled to set the muscle-heavy mutant onto the cushions. Wufei checked over his condition, and Quatre took off his boots and jacket. Duo heard Trowa emerge from the bathroom, leaning over the railing.
“Wow!” he marveled, laughing. “How’d you do that, Wufei?! I thought I fucked you over before I got to Duo!”
“I didn’t,” Wufei replied, gesturing with his head at Quatre. Trowa blinked, at a loss for words as Duo looked over at his former rival with awe.
“You did this?” he asked, noting for the first time how exhausted the other looked. He noted with worry all the dried blood that was visible around a slightly swollen nose. He wanted to go forward and help, but he had the feeling that it was going to be dismissed.
Quatre merely shrugged, and staggered away from the couch, heading upstairs. Duo started after him, but Wufei called him back, asking for some help in getting Heero comfortable on the couch. Hesitating, watching as Trowa murmured something to Quatre that made the blond perform a double-take on the taller boy, Duo reluctantly headed back to Wufei. At the sound of a closing door, Duo glanced up at the second floor, then looked at Wufei questioningly.
Wufei shrugged. “He’s tired. He fought hard.”
“Did he really take him out?”
“You should have saw it, Maxwell. You would have been proud of him,” Wufei said, half smiling as he pushed a pillow under Heero’s head.
“Damn,” Duo breathed, racing away to grab a washcloth, and thrusting it under some warm water. Then he raced back, setting about to wash away the blood from the various cuts on Heero’s face. Then he realized what he was doing, throwing the rag down on the mutant’s hair. “Shit, he can just tear off his fucking skin...”
“You all right?” Wufei asked him, straightening from his mindless task as Trowa walked back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
Duo nodded, shrugging sheepishly. “Yeah. Man, this was totally tough. I mean, I thought I was doing all right, trying to track down one person. Then when I was whipping up on Trowa’s skinny ass, Quatre came out of no where and fucked us over. He got Trowa, too.”
“He did? Well...there’s hope for him, then,” Wufei said gruffly, noting the time on the wall mounted clock. The batteries had been replaced last night from a supply in the kitchen pantry. “Maybe the doctors won’t be so hasty in removing him from the team.”
Duo felt his brow furrow. “Would they really ask us to kill him if he didn’t?”
Wufei gave a wordless sound of committal. “No one knows what we do, and if they did...well, that would raise concern with the U.S. Government and alert others to possible terrorist activities that people might view our faction as. We don’t need that trouble. We would have to eliminate any sort of source that might reveal us to them.”
Duo stared at him in silence, then nodded slowly as it sounded okay to him. Not that he wanted Quatre killed, he just understood the reason why. He looked down at Heero once more, then chuckled as he swept dried mud from the mutant’s brown hair.
“Bet he was surprised at this, huh?”
“More than. He tried working his tricks on him–which reminds me, Duo; Heero likes to talk a person out of his confidence...I shouldn’t be saying this to you, but he’ll work your psyche before engaging in battle.” Wufei looked at Duo with unrestrained affection. “Just be warned, and keep that in mind.”
Duo grinned at him, cheekily. “Now, how is that supposed to help me, Wu-man? Giving away battle secrets that I should be learning first hand...?”
Wufei just smiled back, and moved away from the couch. “I’ll cook lunch. Keep an eye on him.”
“I should go check on Quat,” Duo murmured, glancing upstairs.
“No.” Wufei shook his head. “Let him alone for awhile.”
“But...he could be hurt...”
“He assured me that he’s just sore. Just...leave him alone. Heero messed with his head. Let him fix it when he wakes up,” Wufei muttered, leaving the area and heading into the kitchen.
Duo licked his lips, then clicked his teeth together repeatedly as he considered this command. Then he figured he’d just do as Wufei said and stayed out of the situation.

O0o0o0o0o0oO

Heero awoke with a pained grimace, his head aching terribly from the beating he’d received. Reviewing every moment of that battle, he found himself smiling slightly as he rose from his position, vertigo hitting him briefly. He resettled back on the couch, losing himself in his thoughts as he reviewed what he’d said to Quatre, remembering the breakdown the blond had gone through at the revelation of his words. Whether or not they were true was something that Heero would have to find out, through Quatre’s own admittance or from sources he didn’t care to research.
It wasn’t for the fact that he had to hear those truths in a gossiping sense–it was just for the fact that Quatre was obviously repressing things he didn’t want to discuss. While it was obvious the blond did not want to reveal his history, Heero just wanted Quatre to be prepared that his own past could be used against him. He just wanted to make it easier for him–he just wanted Quatre to be okay. He wanted to help. He knew sheltering could only harm the boy in the future. He stared up at the ceiling and lost himself in his thoughts.
He then became aware of hearing Duo’s and Wufei’s voices in the kitchen. He listened to them for a few moments before shredding his skin, making him perfect all over again. He rose from the couch, and cleaned up his mess.
He could smell food cooking, and walked into the kitchen with his discarded skin. Wufei was at the stove while Duo was sitting on the counter, talking a mile a minute about something that Heero could care less about. When the braided one saw him, he grinned, thin lips pulled back to reveal that rotten tooth of his.
“Yo, Heero-san!” he greeted as Heero glared at him, stuffing his skin into the trash can. “How ya feelin’?”
“Where’s Quatre?” Heero asked Wufei, ignoring Duo.
“Upstairs. Lunch should be ready in ten minutes,” Wufei said, stirring some beef stew and checking on the spam he’d found.
Heero nodded an affirmative, then rummaged through the pantry for something to munch on. Finding bread and stealing a Spam patty from the frying pan, he left the kitchen and walked upstairs. Trowa had taken over Duo’s and Wufei’s bed, and was snoring loudly as he slept. Heero lifted an eyebrow as he chewed at his sandwich, and seriously weighed the options in kicking Trowa’s feet that hung over the bed, or just leaving well enough alone.
He made the latter decision and walked on to the bedroom he’d shared with Quatre. Walking in, he spotted the blond curled up on the bed, having kicked off his shoes and wet jeans. His dirty denim jacket was also laying on the floor, laying haphazardly, as if he’d merely let it drop from his arms. Heero noted the exhausted expression on the snoozing blond’s face. It was obvious that while he’d removed some of the blood caused by his bloodied nose, he hadn’t bothered to completely wash up. Still, even covered in such things, he was just as attractive as Heero thought he was when he saw him clean at their house. He shut the door firmly behind him, locking it.
He finished his sandwich, noting the various small injuries that Quatre had gained from the battle. He felt a surge of pride within him as he recalled how determined he was in defeating him. How stubborn, how driven...Heero knew that Quatre wasn’t as weak as everyone had thought. His tenacity in things continually impressed Heero.
Even as he stood there watching the other sleep, he found himself slowly flushing with heat. His eyes darkened with color as they strayed away from the various wounds and dirt. He took in the shapely bottom; the firm, toned legs that were bent slightly at the knees. Remembering the last time, the way that skinny body enticed him with its seductive lure, he felt himself hardening. He recalled how he felt being inside that ass, how it felt to have Quatre underneath him...
It was disturbing at most, but how could he deny how it made him feel physically? His hormones seemed to have taken notice and were waving distraction flags to the obvious duress that Quatre displayed in terms of mental imbalance.
Hell, if he were willing to put out despite the obvious abuse indications, then how was Heero to deny himself?
He ignored the niggling thoughts that something deep inside of him felt otherwise, and shrugged off his jacket and boots, kicking them aside. He quietly undressed, standing fully naked within the quiet room. The air was chilly, causing his flesh to prickle with goosebumps. Rubbing his calloused hands over his skin in an attempt to warm it, he knelt beside his suitcase, rummaging through it until he found what he was looking for.
He’d merely smirked at Catherine when she informed him of what she’d packed in his case–the pamphlets, the condoms, the lubrication...
Although he felt odd about venereal diseases, he figured that he could simply shed his skin and take away the damage. He hadn’t quite thought that these viruses weren’t removed from his body through shedding his skin alone. Even he were able to remove the outside damage, the diseases were absorbed and spread through body fluid contact as well. His knowledge of such things were very limited.
He withdrew the lube and straightened, staring down at the sleeping visage before him. It was obvious the strain of the battle had felled the slight blond, and Heero was going to use this moment for his advantage. He stroked himself to arousal as he stared at the slightly slack lips, recalling the way they were used on him the other day. He rubbed enough lube on himself so that it dripped to the floor, giving himself a few more strokes to assure himself of his hardness. Catching his lower lip between his teeth, he crawled onto the bed, and began removing the tie string shorts that the other wore, revealing everything.
Quatre started at this movement, awakening with a low sound in his throat as he realized what was happening. Trapped between sleep and forceful memories, he gave a despairing, wordless sound as he stilled completely, unable to move.
He was suddenly a child once more, being awakened at night–there were remnants of dreams tinging his thoughts, and his body felt transparent in that manner. Only, when he felt Heero push his cock deep into the his body, things felt somewhat different. Heero was different from him–he wasn’t as thick, or as long.
But he was still numb as he accepted this invasion.
Bodily connected for the moment, Heero reflected on how good it felt to be held by the other in such an intimate way, his cock nestled snugly within the other’s body. He then closed his eyes, dropping his forehead against Quatre’s chin, breathing slowly. He moved slightly, a tilt of his hips, feeling the strong electricity that shot through his body at the feeling.
For several long moments, he couldn’t think of anything to say, his body singing in praise about what he was experiencing. Heero cradled him close, shifting his hips once more, the shot of heat flitting through his groin. He inhaled the scent of the other, deeply inhaling the combined scents of fear, of defeat, of Quatre’s own musky, masculine scent. He closed his eyes once more, his face pressed against the other’s neck, his arms curling underneath Quatre’s back, pressing him tight against his own body.
He could feel the rapid heartbeat of the blond against his chest, could hear it. He could feel the other’s thin chest heaving against his own, agitated breathing sending small flutters of movement through his own dirty hair as Quatre exhaled.
Moving again, he pressed strong kisses along the column of Quatre’s neck, feeling the other stiffen in reaction. Heero adjusted himself over the other, moving his hips in a more deliberate movement, sliding easily within the clenching channel of Quatre’s body. He heard the other give a hitched sound, his stomach fluttering against his.
Heero used his body weight to keep the other underneath him, pinning him without using his limbs to do so. He waited for Quatre to protest this, but the blond simply laid there, his breath coming in shortened movement. He wanted to be sure that Quatre knew who was in charge here, despite his alarming tendency to have Heero under his control.
It was a useless battle–it was Quatre’s body that kept Heero’s in pleasurable comfort. It was Quatre himself that had Heero excited at the thought of sex. It was Quatre that caused this mad reaction from Heero. Heero may have had the physical strength, but he was not the one in control. The battle would be uselessly fought when it was obvious who was in charge.
With a reluctant groan, Heero shifted so that he was on his knees, still pressed deep inside of Quatre, the other’s slim legs splayed on his hips. He cradled Quatre’s face between his hands, forcing the other to look at him.
Heero pressed his lips against the other, awkwardly kissing him even as the other struggled to shift his face out of reach. Giving up once Quatre realized that Heero wasn’t letting go, he gave a strangled sound, feeling a strange shot of something unexplained move through him as Heero kissed him gently. The action was horrid. It was atrocious. Heero had managed to plant some before, but this was horrid.
...It was happening again. Quatre was losing sensation of the present–he kept finding himself sucked into the past. This wasn’t the cottage’s room–they were in his childhood bedroom back there. It was nighttime, and this wretched man was on top of him. Touching his young body, molesting it.
Kisses...there were always kisses...disgusting, horrid touches of mouth to mouth. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to cry. He wanted to kick and scream and destroy everything with his powers.
But he couldn’t move. As a child, he’d been caught in a paralysis of numbed shock and confusion. He was experiencing the same sort of paralysis. He was flitting between past and present.
His body was betraying him again. His penis was reacting, but only half-heartedly.
He registered Heero’s cock deep inside of him, doing nothing but lying there, filling him with an intrusion that he had grown accustomed to. He swallowed hard, feeling Heero shift over him, his cock nudging at his insides. It created a sensation of feeling, and he felt that drive build up within him, the one that wanted more in a violent way. His senses screamed at him to get him moving, that Heero was just waiting for him to give in so that they could get down to business; he hated his body. He hated it for feeling this way. For physicality to dominate over mentality. He was weak. Useless.
He may as well as enjoy it, since his body was reacting without his permission. He was damned, anyway.
Memories were pushed away, and he focused on the physical presence.
Except it wasn’t Heero he was seeing.
He shifted his own hips, moving against the other in mechanical reaction of what he’d been taught. Heero’s hands merely settled over his hips, holding him down so that he couldn’t move them.
He laid his head flat against the pillow, staring up at Heero with some confusion. Heero stared down at him with that calm, serious expression of his, his fingers moving lightly over his hips, caressing him gently.
Heero’s hips flexed in a single movement, causing the other to moan briefly, his hands clenching his biceps in an effort to escape the motion.
Quatre scrunched his face into a grimace, pulling his knees up, trying to shift out of the intrusion that moved within his ass. All he received for his trouble was the burning sensation of movement as Heero moved his hips, his cock pulling out and pushing in, creating a myriad sensation of need to build within him.
At the same time, he was cursing himself for liking it, for giving in to his body’s natural demand for the pleasure. He opened his eyes, breathing heavily. His thighs were shaking as the need burned deep within his gut, needing pleasure and finality.
Heero brushed his fingers through his dirty hair, brushing aside clumps of dried mud and small bits of twigs. He then curled his fingers underneath Quatre’s jaw line, caressing the smooth skin there, the pads of his fingers tracing the hard angle of his jawbone. He kissed him, gently molding his lips over those pale pink lips, breathing in deep of the other’s scent. His hips moved again, pressing forward, bone mashing briefly with bone as their pelvises connected. He shifted himself once more, laying over the other, shifting his hands onto Quatre’s legs and guiding them over his hips. At the feel of the compliance, he shifted his hands between them, capturing the other’s hands and drawing them out so that they were flattened on either side of his head. Curling his fingers through his, Heero began moving gently, pulling out and sliding in, fighting his body’s demand for more at a harsher pace.
He could feel Quatre giving in underneath him, a soft exhalation followed with a light moan escaping his lips. His fingers briefly curled over Heero’s, then released, as if trying to escape his touch. Heero bent his head, kissing all that he could reach, feeling the other’s body underneath him surrender as sensation took over reluctance.
Quatre pulled his face from Heero’s contact, trying hard to regain his thoughts, lost only in the pleasure the other’s body gave him. He listened to Heero’s hard pants against his ear, the strong exhalations of air that caused tingling sensations within his belly. He felt Heero’s fingers tighten over his, his own fingers flexing in response. The bed creaked slightly under the movement, brushing against the wall, adding to the sounds of sex.
He felt Heero’s cock brush against his prostate, a stinging sensation that caused a pleasurable warmth to flood all through him. He heard himself give a low moan, his skin suddenly sticky with warmth. He couldn’t concentrate on other things; he could only feel the way Heero’s body caressed him from the outside.
He was distracted by Heero’s body as it moved, pressing firmly against his, his cock picking up the pace. Quatre lifted his hips to meet the other’s, clenching his cheeks, working to bring Heero’s pleasure before his. The way he’d been taught.
Heero paused in mid-movement, breathing heavily, scrunching his face with his efforts in keeping from spilling his load so soon into the other. His cock twitched with the effort, his body fighting the natural need to spill, and he concentrated, comically, on picturing Trowa underneath him. The mental disturbance was enough to keep himself from coming, his chest heaving with his stress.
Swallowing hard against the build up of inane sex words that threatened to spill from his mouth, he studied the ceiling for a few moments, then shifted his position, so that his cock was once again buried deep inside Quatre’s body. He tightened his fingers, feeling Quatre’s flex in response. Looking down at the other’s flushed features, he took in the beauty of the other’s face.
Brushing beads of sweat from Quatre’s forehead, smearing dirt and dried blood with his thumb, he inhaled deeply, resting his forehead momentarily against the other’s.
Quatre gave a light whimper, shaking his head, uttering a sharp gasp as Heero moved against him, his hips sharply bumping into his. He moved once more, a harsh grind of his hips that drove his cock in a desperate move deep into the blond, causing him to gasp with uncomfortable pain and sensation. He clutched Heero’s muscled shoulders, fingers digging into the unmoving mass. He tried to adjust himself, to move out of reach, but Heero released his hands, gripping his hips, driving without sensation in and out of him.
He closed his eyes, in an effort to escape those feelings.
He felt Heero’s hands on his face, his thumbs nudging his eyes open. He stopped driving into Quatre’s body, his cock twitching deep within, Quatre’s own body weak with the strain of the earlier battle and this–this private one under more intimate conditions.
He gripped Heero’s shoulders once more, his fingers digging deep.
Heero suddenly began moving again, driving into his body, one hand clutching his hip, the other threading through his fingers. Holding on, Quatre locked his legs around his waist, his fingers curling over Heero’s, his other hand reaching up to grip Heero’s thick brown hair. Their heavy breathing mixed, bodies driving against each other, until Quatre gave a hoarse shout against Heero’s shoulder, his teeth gritted hard as intense pleasure and a tsunami of sensation crashed over him, nearly blinding him in its intensity. He came violently, his body jolting harshly, hip cracking against hip as Heero shot his cum into his body, giving a low growl into his neck, his shoulders shaking as he spilt himself within the clenching channel.
They clung to each other, bodies shaking from the violent effort of their orgasms, their minds momentarily blank save for the whirling wonders they had just experienced. The room was silent once more, their breath coming in harsh pants, sweat trailing over shaking limbs. Heero opened his eyes, staring down at the flushed, beautiful features of the man he held, memorizing all that he saw. His chest then clenched in unfamiliar sensation at realizing what Quatre had said when he’d come.
He twisted out of Quatre’s body, forcing himself over the edge of the bed, and vomited. Quatre gave a strangled noise, climbing with agitation out of the bed. Naked, he pulled a blanket around himself, and ran out of the room. Heero spit forcefully on the floor as his stomach heaved. He felt sick from the inside out. His head whirled with almost numb sensation as Quatre’s whispers during sex suddenly became clear at that moment.
It wasn’t his name that he was calling; it was his father’s.
“Daddy.”

O0o0o0o0o0oO
< br> Heero unlocked the door and left the room hours later. He felt horribly ill, numb, and wretched after that horrible incident. His body felt dirty and disgusting. His mind was tearing down all that he knew and was rejecting all common sense. He felt tainted and shamed. But he was not going to share this with anyone. He didn’t know if he could face Quatre himself, knowing what he did. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with that one.
There was more going on upstairs than one could ever imagine----and it explained many things. This wasn’t the time to dwell on it.
The others were seated downstairs, on the couch, Wufei and Duo immersed in conversation and Trowa playing his Gameboy. Quatre was no where in sight, but the bathroom door was shut. The others looked at him in surprise as he walked down the stairs.
“He liiiivvvvveeeesss!” Duo exclaimed, looking beyond him for Quatre, then refocusing on him.
“Geez, Yuy, don’t you think it’s a little tacky for you guys to have so much sex while we’re sitting down here, bored out of our minds?” Trowa muttered, staring at his screen.
He was a little sullen about being unable to slip away from the other two and watching what had taken place earlier.
Wufei cast an irritated glance at Heero as the mutant walked into the kitchen to look for something to eat. “We don’t even get to see you two anymore,” he mock-complained. “Ever since you two have been getting intimate, it’s like we see less and less of you.”
“Try it, Chang,” Heero muttered from the pantry. “And you’ll find out.”
“Yeah!” Duo crowed excitedly. He practically leapt on Wufei’s lap, manhandling him into a kiss. Wufei sputtered and struggled to get loose. “After I get done with you, you’ll understand why Heero and Quat hole themselves up all the time!”
“That’ll be fuckin’ great,” Trowa muttered, adjusting himself on the couch. “Then I’ll never hear the end of it...”
Heero remembered something, pulling his head out of the pantry and looking over at him. “Trowa? Let me ask you something...”
“How about, no?” Trowa suggested, pausing his game as he glared in Heero’s direction.
“As you’re, as they say, anti-social and or a sociopath, does that mean you’re disinterested in sex as a lack of interest due to undesirable characters, or just that you simply can’t conceive of it?”
Trowa narrowed his eyes, but noticed the other two looking at them curiously. He heard Quatre moving around in the bathroom. Come to think of it, he’d been in there for awhile...
He then considered Heero’s question carefully, wanting to say something that wouldn’t encourage the Japanese, and also wouldn’t draw any other questions of similar interest from the others.
“Yes, I’m interested in it,” he began carefully, lowering his Gameboy, “but I’ve never found myself interested in a person–a person, animal, thing, etcetera. I have the same wants and needs as everyone else. I just don’t have the required heart to go with it, just like you pussies do...”
“Damn it,” he heard Duo mutter, Wufei elbowing him. “I was just going to ask something...”
Heero considered this answer, then retrieved a can of potato soap. “Fine...but if you’re interested in it, why aren’t you taking the time to experience any of it?”
“Just because you got some ass in that fairy gaylord doesn’t mean that everyone else has to follow suit!” Trowa snarled. Then he calmed as a thought came to him. “Unless...of course...you’d like to share...?”
Wufei leapt up once the green eyed boy ducked the flying can of soup. “All right, all right! No fighting! Heero, he just answered your question! Don’t provoke more shit than you can handle!”
“From what I heard, Heero, he’s absolutely fantastic,” Trowa continued with a purr.
“Okay, bud, you’re just asking to get your ass kicked,” Duo told him.
“You think so?”
“You stay away from him,” Heero snarled from the kitchen. “You animal loving freak!”
“C’mon, Heero, you can’t keep him all to yourself!” Trowa said, ignoring Duo’s hisses to be quiet and Wufei’s annoyed glare at the both of them. “Share the wealth! If you’re going to be asking me all this bullshit, you might as well as let me have a taste of what you’re getting!”
“FUCK YOU, Trowa! Stay away from him!”
“Okay, okay, guys, calm down,” Duo said, waving his arms about as he noticed how the two were inching toward each other. The tension nearly made him choke. “Tro, you know how Heero gets when you say shit like that. Heero, you knew Trowa was going to talk shit that way. Stop jerking your panties in a wad when Trowa does it. Leave Quat out of your shit, you guys. He didn’t do anything.”
“Just think of it, Heero,” Trowa continued over Duo’s voice, leaning on the couch back with both arms. “I could borrow him while you’re gone...kind of get a feel for things...and when you come back, you’ll find him nicely stretched and ready for you to do your thing. Even then, it’d probably be difficult, considering how big of a cock I’ve got, and what a tiny asshole he’s got–”
Wufei jerked Duo out of the fighting arena, the braided one stumbling comfortably within the Chinese’s arms. At the roars of a four legged animal and the enraged shouts of a biped, Wufei sighed heavily, head hanging.
“He asked for it,” he muttered, but Duo had no idea whom he was talking about.
He reached up, hugging Wufei awkwardly in his position. Turning in his arms, he ignored the shouts and crashes behind him, curling his arms around Wufei’s waist. Meeting curved lips for a tender kiss, he murmured, “So, when will it be our turn? I’ll wait for you to be ready for me, man. When you’re ready to go through with it, I’m ready...I can’t wait to see you naked and fuckin’ flushed with pleasure...you’re never going to regret it...”
Wufei felt his cheeks heat briefly at the imagery Duo was bringing up, feeling more than bashful about it. The idea was appealing, yes, but he was more than nervous about it. He touched the slender back, his hands sweeping over a thin frame, briefly touching rounded buttocks before curling back up to Duo’s arms. Pressing his head against Duo’s, he said quietly in reply, “Maybe soon...? Before we go back?”
“Tonight?” Duo asked, kissing his chin, letting his tongue flicker over his lower lip.
Wufei shuddered slightly at the feeling that shot down to his groin. “I don’t know...”
“I’ll wait for you, ‘fei. When you’re ready...”
“Thank you...for understanding...”
“You’re well worth it, man,” Duo murmured, meeting his lips once more.
At the sound of breaking glass, neither was interested enough to know what it was that had broken. They were too busy being involved with each other. It was as if the world had momentarily disappeared from around them, and all they could see, feel, hear, and smell were each other. It was obvious that it was bliss between them.

O0o0o0o0o0oO

That night, after dinner, Duo looked anxiously from his four comrades to the snow that was falling outside. He shivered briefly. “Man...it sure looks cold out there. Are we going to do the same thing tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
He frowned at Heero’s brief answer, tugging on his sweater sleeves. He sighed as he nudged Wufei’s knee under the table. “In the same order? As today?”
“We can vary it,” Wufei said, picking thoughtfully at the coffee table. “Who wants to get up first?”
“I set some traps earlier,” Trowa said, frowning over in Heero’s direction. Wufei sighed as his question was ignored. “I’ll go check them. I can’t survive on this vegetarian shit.”
Heero snorted, sitting on the sectional furthest from them. Duo was a little curious as to why Heero and Quatre were ignoring each other. It had been obvious for awhile, now. He just thought that Heero was a little annoyed that Quatre had beaten him, and was pouting about it.
Trowa looked back at him, and snarled, “What?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
Wufei was up from the couch and shoving at Trowa. “Go check your little traps. Get.”
“Fine, mommy.”
At the sound of the door slamming, Duo gave Wufei an impressed expression, then shifted his look over at Quatre as the blond gathered up all their dishes and took them into the kitchen. He heard the sound of running water, and looked over at Heero questioningly. The muscled mutant was studying his nails.
Duo looked back at Wufei, who resettled into his seat on the couch. Silence was cast over them, with the occasional clink and splash of Quatre washing dishes in the kitchen. Duo was about to suggest to Wufei that they take an early retirement to their room when Trowa walked into the room, carrying three limp rabbits.
“Meat!” he declared.
“TROWA! You’re dripping...innards...all over the place!” Wufei cried, gesturing at the blood that dripped on the floor.
Trowa looked curiously at the mess, then stepped around it, as if that would solve the problem.
“Take them back outside and do what you have to do with them!”
“I have to take a dump! Heero, come skin these before they get nasty.”
Heero merely snorted and turned his head, refusing.
Trowa dropped all three bodies on the floor, frowning in the mutant’s direction. Wufei gave an indignant sputter while Duo stared in fascination at the little rabbits. He suddenly grinned, pointing at them. In unison, the dead animals rose from their position on the floor. Trowa jumped high in the air in surprise, as lithe as a cat. The dead rabbits began hopping from their position, dragging their stiff limbs about.
Wufei whapped Duo’s head. “Stop that! That’s disgusting!”
“Aw, but ‘fei...!”
“That is so wrong,” Trowa declared, hurrying up to the bathroom. He kept glancing over his shoulder at the still moving animals, expecting them to give chase.
Quatre walked out from the kitchen, spying the moving dead with unease. He looked at Duo, who grinned mischievously at him. Then he looked at Heero.
“Are you going to dress them, Heero?” he asked softly, wiping his hands on his pants.
Heero ignored him, shifting on the couch.
Duo dropped his hold on the animals, all three falling stiffly on the floor.
“Hey. He asked you a question,” he snapped at the Japanese.
Quatre sighed, and picked up the three animals.
“I’ll do it,” he muttered, retrieving a butcher’s knife from the block on the counter, and walking outside.
Duo looked after the slamming door, then at Wufei.
“I’m going outside with him,” he said, hurrying off the couch, and racing upstairs for something warm to wear.
Once outside, he saw that Quatre was standing off from the cottage, sitting on a stump. There came a sickening crunch of bones that made Duo wince as he ventured over. He stood nearby as Quatre twisted the head of one rabbit, ripping the skull from spine. He used a knife to slice through the skin, muscle, and bone to completely separate it. Tossing it aside, he then dragged the blade through the rabbit’s throat and belly, all the way down to the animal’s backside. That completed, he used the knife to scrape out the innards from within.
Duo winced, swallowed hard, and tried not to think about the bloodied mess that pooled down at Quatre’s feet. Steam rose from the still warm innards as it settled over the snow. More snapping of bones and the removal of skin had Duo clapping both hands over his mouth, trying to hold in his vomit.
“Man,” he said, startling the other. “That is so disgusting. How can you do that?”
“Oh...um, well, whenever I couldn’t find food, I...uh, ate cats,” Quatre confessed sheepishly. He rubbed his face with his thumb, leaving a smear of blood there.
“Oh...I had that once. It was too stringy.”
“But it was food. I wasn’t complaining back then.”
Duo nodded in agreement as Quatre tossed the skin aside, and began on the second rabbit. There came a fowl smell of the dead and of bowels as this process was began anew. Shifting uncomfortably, he said, “I think I’m in love with ‘Fei. He makes me really happy, man. I mean–he’s so serious, but once you get to know him? He’s really cool. He isn’t really uptight, like people think.”
Quatre gave a slight nod, but said nothing in response.
“Yeah...it’s awesome. When we kiss? It’s great. I mean, there’s nothing more right than kissing someone you love...”
He grimaced and cringed when one head was forcefully ripped apart from a stiff body.
“But, I mean, things could get serious between us. We haven’t done anything physical, really. I mean, aside from kisses. But I think he could have a big dick. I mean, not that it matters, or anything–! Just...I like big dicks. You know? You have a preference?”
Quatre made a non-committal noise, and Duo winced once more as the snapping of bones broke the silence around them.
“Well...not that it would matter. I would still have feelings for him. And sex can be taught–!”
Snap! Crack!
“Er...and...well–that won’t matter.”
“Duo? Can I ask you something?”
Duo nodded fiercely. “Yeah, man, anything. I mean, we’re buds and all. Practically bros. Livin’ together, bein’ all important and stuff–“”
“How do you know that you’re in love?”
The question made Duo pause. He tilted his head and stared up at the falling snow. The trees were dark and ominous; the snow captured the half moon’s light. The clouds that half covered the skies allowed fleeting glimpses of the starry night above. The snow seemed to shift direction suddenly, casting its white spell on the cottage.
“I...well...he makes me feel good, Q. In a way that’s...unexplainable. It’s like...a deep feeling in the pit of my stomach. Kinda like...heartburn. But in a good way. And I can think only of him. And I wanna do things for him. And feel things for him. Just looking at him makes me happy. It makes what my life is into something similar to what heaven must be.”
“I don’t believe in heaven.”
“Well...I don’t really...but...y’know? Just the general summarization of what...heaven is. Y’know, all good feelings and shit? Anyway...and when he looks at me...I can just feel that he feels the same way.”
“You’d do anything for him?”
“Anything,” Duo stressed. “If he wanted me to be a woman, I’d damn well do what it takes to become a woman. He wants me to chop off my hair...well...I’d think about that. But...yeah. He makes me feel safe and secure and happy all at the same time. And trust...well, that’s a given. I trust that guy with my life.”
“...It must be nice, Duo.”
Duo grinned, nodding his head in agreement. It was a good feeling. He reached out, gently pushing Quatre’s shoulders. “What about you and Heero? What’s going on, there?”
He jumped at the vicious separation of skin from muscle. Quatre flung that aside, and didn’t say anything. Duo wondered if he’d even heard him. He opened his mouth to repeat himself when Quatre said, “There’s nothing between us like that.”
“It must have been good,” Duo said cheerfully. “You guys were holed up in there for a long time!”
“...sex is sex. It’s for the pleasure of others.”
Duo didn’t like the way that was said. He opened his mouth to pry when Quatre turned, and held out the two rabbits he’d finished. Duo made a face, but took two legs between his thumb and forefinger, distracted by the sight of displayed muscle and blood. Quatre had taken off the two front legs, but had left the back. There was a smell to it that made him sick. Plus, the sight of headless and skinless animals was just disturbing. He knew then, as he’d known before, that he’d never take the job of a butcher.

O0o0o0o0o0oO

Trowa took the two rabbits with a bored air, and walked into the kitchen with them. Setting a frying pan over the stove, he dripped some grease into the pan, and threw the bodies onto the counter. Duo hung around, grimacing as Trowa took a knife from the block, and walked back to the bodies. He then picked up a rabbit, and began slicing off strips from the body. The counter was decorated with blood and fat as Trowa did so.
Duo turned to the side and wondered if he should follow Wufei’s decision in becoming a vegetarian. He loved meat–but from what he was seeing, he didn’t think too highly of it right now. The grease began to bubble and pop, so Trowa flung what he had into the pan. The meat began to fry immediately, filling the kitchen with aromatic smells. Pausing in his actions, Trowa rummaged through the cabinets until he found some meager spices. He began flavoring what he had in the pan with what he found. The smells turned better.
Sniffing the air, Duo felt his mouth salivate as Trowa returned to stripping off meat from the rabbit’s body.
“What did he do with the rest, Duo?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder.
“I dunno. Left them there, I suppose.”
“Tell him to put the heads aside. The eyes are really good...”
Duo felt that he was going to barf, so he turned and hurried out from the kitchen. Wufei and Heero were discussing something that he couldn’t hear, so he hurried outside. Quatre was digging a hole in the snow covered ground with his hands, and so Duo stopped him and informed him of Trowa’s need for the eyes.
Both of them returned to the cottage. Quatre had the three heads within both hands, Duo holding the last rabbit by its back legs.
Seeing the heads, Trowa turned away from the frying pan, washed his hands, and took one of the heads from Quatre’s hands. As the blond set the rest on the counter, Duo watched with a morbid mix of fascination and horror as Trowa grinned in delight at the head he held in his hands.
Slim fingers moved quickly, digging out an eye from one head. Duo’s left eye twitched. Then he and Quatre watched with comically horrified expressions as Trowa popped that orb into his mouth, and chewed slowly.
“I’m...going to be...sick,” Duo choked, hands rising to his mouth.
“Yum. These are good,” Trowa murmured, digging out the other eye and popping that into his mouth like candy.
Both boys abandoned the kitchen and walked out with sickened expressions.
Wufei and Heero saw this. Wufei rose from his seat, shaking his head. “What did he do?”
“Ate the rabbit’s eyes,” Duo eked out, face turning a distinct shade of green.
“TROWA!”
“Whhhhaaaatttt?”
“ ;Duo, he just does that because it grosses people out,” Wufei growled. “Don’t encourage him!”
“Well–!”
“Don’t encourage him! Trowa, stop acting like a damn six year old!”
“But–! But–! I wanna!” came his reply.
Wufei sighed heavily, head hanging. Sometimes he felt so old.

O0o0o0o0o0oO

That night, Heero took one of the couches. Quatre noticed that things had shifted between them. He knew that what he’d done was disturbing–many others before Heero had been disgusted and had left without words as well. He was used to it. But he felt rejected.
He tried not to let it bother him, but the feelings remained. As he laid in the bed that he’d shared with Heero, he found that he could not sleep. Memories, past and present, began to haunt him with the intensity of re-living them all over again. Sometimes, his emotions made his memories so damn vivid–once he was caught in the in-between stage of the past and present, he wasn’t sure what was up and what was down. It was disturbing. And it shamed him. He didn’t know what to do. These feelings and dirty secrets made him numb. He did not want to discuss it with anyone–they’d merely look at him in disgust and treat him as such. He didn’t want to break the friendships he had with the others because of it–but if Heero knew his dirty secret, he’d probably tell J and the others.
His stomach hurt at that thought.
It was bad enough the doctors thought he was weak. If they knew that he was daddy’s little whore, they’d make it worse. He had grown thick enough skin to shrug off any comments from those that made them in passing, but this situation was different----he lived with these men. He saw them from the moment he woke up and to the moment he laid down to sleep. It was different.
He listened to the sounds of the cottage, the nighttime sounds that had wood creaking; mattresses shifting; and the floor crackling. He pushed his hands underneath the pillow and stared off in the distance.
He wondered what Heero was doing.
Thinking about Duo and Wufei made him jealous----they were happy together. Once upon a time, he’d recall his mother and father being the same way. They would share secret smiles, tender touches, and caressing words...but that had all changed. He wondered when Duo’s and Wufei’s relationship would break. He felt a tinge of happiness at that thought.
He wondered if it would be Wufei that would break their little sapfest–probably, once he found out Duo’s past, he’d run screaming in the other direction. Like Heero did with him.
Or, once Duo found out that this was how Wufei was going to be for the rest of his life, if he’d find others on the side.
Whichever, they weren’t going to last forever. They might as well as enjoy things now.
He shifted once more on the bed, and sighed. He wasn’t tired. He was tired, but he wasn’t. He wondered if Heero was thinking about him.
He reminded Quatre of his father. He always needed to be the one in control. He always kept himself emotionally distant. He performed day to day activities with a sort of monotone indifference, and showed emotion only when something especially demanded it. He was gentle and fond when those two emotions took over too quickly for him to block it. He was also the same in bed–rough, demanding, showing no need for tenderness and care; but then turning around and displaying gentle emotions at small intervals.
Maybe that’s what Quatre realized when he first saw Heero–maybe it was just that he saw his father in that boy, and naturally gravitated toward him. As a sort of second chance, in which he’d regain his father’s attention and keep it. Maybe that’s why the sexual attraction. Maybe that’s why he thought of Heero, even now.
That was probably why he knew he could get what he wanted from Heero.
He still wanted him. In a way, he felt dependent on the other mutant. It wasn’t in a way of feelings and tenderness–the way Duo and Wufei had for each other. It was more of a drug– one that was pointless to have, but suddenly addicting once one realized what it was capable of doing. His feelings revealed his hurt and rejection at Heero’s obvious disgust–but another part of him registered that was just an inconvenient matter that didn’t deserve much thought. He just needed Heero because Heero reminded him of his father.
He didn’t believe in love–but he believed in replacement. He had given this some thought–sex was something anybody wanted, once they realized what they were looking for. Feelings didn’t have to be involved, but his managed to get in the way. Sex, for him, was pleasure based on unstable insanity; while enjoyable, he could only get off if he thought of his father and the horror of his body’s betrayal to natural stimulation.
He’d thought that if Heero hadn’t wanted him anymore–he’d get over the pain of that rejection if he focused hard enough–he could always find someone else to ease this sickness of his.
Human bodies were basic–they demanded and yearned for certain things that were based on normality. It was basic to want sex. This was a human need. It was disgusting, as he felt he was, but it was something one wanted. It was what he wanted.
He sat up in bed, wincing at his sore ass. He stared at the dark door, and strained his ears to hear any tell tale sound of the other’s presence downstairs. He didn’t know what time it was–but it didn’t matter. He pushed away the blankets and used his empathy. He felt indifference, and a certain blankness that Quatre associated with sleep–Trowa.
Reaching out again, he felt horror, confusion, disgust, and misery.
The feelings were much too strong. They were also too familiar. Quatre retracted his power and felt his insides crumble. Heero definitely didn’t want him anymore. The rejection was strong.
His father, after Quatre began entering puberty, had stopped giving him attention. While on one hand, Quatre had been relieved that the nightly visits would stop–the other hand revealed his hurt in that he wasn’t good enough. He’d gone downhill from that.
He felt Heero’s rejection the same way he had when his father stopped visiting him. He wasn’t good enough. He’d done something wrong. He was undesirable. He wasn’t enough.
His eyes felt dry and itchy–but they burned with tears. He curled up on the bed and drew his pillow close, trying to resettle into a comfortable position. It hurt. It all hurt, deep inside. All this pain, this mental anguish.
He was so dirty. So dirty and tainted. He sat up again, aware that it was building again. All those damned emotions hit him like a physical impact. His body felt sore, and his muscles felt strained, as if they were trying to keep everything in.
He crawled out of bed, whimpering. Crawling underneath, he searched for a place that would keep him safe and protected–the darkness underneath would keep him out of sight.
When would they just go away...?
“Dirty,” he heard himself whispering. “Dirty, dirty...so damn dirty...ugly, stupid dirty whore...stupid retarded freak...stupid sick freak...you’re a stupid sick dirty whore...that’s right. Daddy’s stupid sick dirty whore...”
A whisper of sound caused him to stiffen, and he felt his eyes widening as the door opened. He thought he locked it! He thought he put the chair behind it...no...no, those weren’t his thoughts. He wasn’t eight...he was twenty, now. And there hadn’t been a chair in the room...and he hadn’t locked it because he thought Heero would come back to their bed.
‘Their’ bed. They weren’t even a ‘they’ to begin with.
But that door was still opening, and there was still someone walking in.
Friend? Foe? His father didn’t know if he were still alive, so it couldn’t be him. It was too dark to determine who it was, but it wasn’t Heero. The door shut softly. Someone was inside. Inside! And it wasn’t Heero. Not Wufei...not Duo---no, those happy lovebirds were curled up, touching safely and kissing safe areas...not them. Trowa?
The mattress overhead sunk with weight–feet disappeared. There was no other sound. Someone was in his bed–his and Heero’s. Who?
He didn’t want to move. He shivered violently, curling his arms underneath his head. Something furry brushed against his face–he looked up with a start, freezing with a sense of disbelief as the tabby curled up against him, purring. He wasn’t sure how Trowa knew he was acting so nutty, but the other’s presence was comforting. It gave him some hope.
He felt sleepy, then. Sleepy...cold...dirty...he would take a shower in the morning. He blinked sleepily at the closed door, and finally shut his eyes.