Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Psychotic America ❯ This Is What It Feels Like ( Chapter 14 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Manga-Chick 
Trowa's own dementia explained
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 6.8K | Visits: 358 | Status: Completed
Trowa's own dementia explained
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.20.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 6.8K | Visits: 358 | Status: Completed
Alternate Universe, fusion, out of character charas, very disturbing information and scenes and Pairings: 1x4, 2x5 3(?)
Standard Disclaimers Apply: Don’t own Gundam Wing nor X-Men
Notes: Some stuff was changed around, here. I deleted some stuff, added some stuff, so it’s still the long winded, pompous bag that ya’ll are familiar with–just with some differences.
O0o0o0o0o0oO means scene change
Chapter Fourteen:
This Is What It Feels Like
The days passed by–it was obvious the doctors weren’t coming by any time soon. Their training activities continued on, with variants in winners each day. And cabin fever arose in all five. It wasn’t long until everyone was speaking to each other in snappish words, and furniture was broken because of an occasional fistfight. Moods were darkened, and alliances shifted.
Duo complained to Trowa about how Wufei stole all the covers and insisted that he get his teeth fixed as soon as they returned home.
Trowa complained to Quatre that Heero was sniffing at him funny.
Quatre complained to Wufei that Trowa added too much salt to his food whenever he was cooking.
Heero complained to Duo that Wufei wore too much white.
Wufei complained to Trowa that Trowa started all the fights and left the seat down purposely to piss everyone off.
Heero complained to Trowa that Duo had too long hair.
Trowa complained to Duo that Wufei used too much toilet paper.
Quatre complained to Trowa that Duo laughed too damn much.
Wufei complained to Heero that Quatre made too much noise in bed (of course, Wufei had to clarify that it was sleep talking, but he’d noticed that Heero hadn’t even cared).
Duo complained to Heero that Trowa was too tall.
And so on, and so on...
It wasn’t a case of hate due to the variances in battles–it was just that five young men shouldn’t be holed up in a small cabin in the middle of no where when they all had problems. The food supply of non-perishables were dwindling, and before they returned to the cottage after their training exercises, they hunted. Deer, rabbits, and the occasional bird were in excess in this particular area, especially when one of the boys’ number could change into a certain animal and lure them into a trap.
The communicator Heero had been given from the doctors was a fake–there was nothing in it that worked. It was merely a replica of the real thing. There weren’t any compatibilities with normal batteries in the household, so the thing was worthless in every way.
Duo learned how to hunt and dress his animal–though he found too much delight in making the dead things dance. He often put on a sort of puppet show in which he re-enacted popular movie segments. He found himself especially terrorized after re-enacting a bestiality porn-show that starred Trowa (as a rabbit) and Heero (as a young deer)–needless to say, when the ‘stars’ found out, they weren’t very pleased. Wufei and Quatre had to apply stitches and ice packs in uncomfortable places.
One night, after an especially strained dinner, Duo grew bored enough to suggest that they play a game.
“What? A game?” Trowa asked, sullen that there were no batteries for his Gameboy. “What kind?”
“I don’t know...spin the bottle?”
“Gross...”
“Uh...Seven Minutes in Heaven?”
“What’s that?” Wufei asked, frowning. He winced when a blob of stew gravy was flung his way.
“Don’t be retarded,” Trowa snapped. “Even I know what that is. And the answer is ‘no’, you horny little shit.”
“Aw...well...how about...Hide and Seek?”
“We play that every morning, Duo,” Quatre snarled. “It’s called ‘training’!”
“Sheesh...maybe...Truth or Dare?”
“NO!” all of them shouted.
Duo winced. “Fine, fine...one more suggestion: I Never. And instead of drinks? We exchange bodily favors.”
“NOO!”
He sighed, shrugging in defeat. “Whatever. I tried.”
Wufei drummed his fingers along the coffee table. Heero leaned back in his seat and counted, for the millionth time, the joists that held the cottage’s roof. Trowa stared blankly at the pot of stew that sat alone on the counter. Quatre idly pulled at his eyebrows. Duo looked at all his comrades, and listened to the thick silence between them all. He looked at Wufei–whom he never tired of looking at, no matter how bitchy he got when he was cranky–and then looked down at his lap.
When he felt that tenseness in his shoulders that signaled his quiet time was up, he looked at the others once more. Trowa was sitting far too close to Quatre; Quatre was sitting cross-legged with his hands in his lap; Heero was at the end of the section, arms crossed stubbornly; and Wufei was sitting with one ankle over one knee, arms crossed loosely around his middle. When Duo felt the time was right, he erupted with a loud roar.
More than one person jerked in reflex, and Duo laughed in amusement.
“Stupid idiot!” Trowa cursed, kicking at him.
Duo blocked the offending foot, rising from the floor. “I’m going to take a shower, ya’ll. Anyone want to join me? Anyone? C’mon!! Anyone want to come with me, and at least sit on the toilet to talk to me?”
When no one volunteered, Duo sighed heavily and trudged upstairs to do just that. He made sure to slam the bathroom door hard to make sure the others knew how annoyed he was with them.
When he emerged, wearing only a towel because he’d washed his clothes and laid them on the floor of their room to dry, he hurried down the stairway. His hair was loose, so he flipped that out of his face. Wufei was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, so Duo veered in that direction.
“Hey,” he greeted, hugging his man from behind.
Wufei elbowed him off. “You’re cold!”
“Well, yeah! But...don’t I smell fresh and pretty?” Duo asked, sniffing under one arm.
“No.”
“Aw...c’mon! You’re just cranky, aren’t you?”
Wufei sighed heavily, paused in putting dry dishes away. He turned to face the other, who promptly wrapped his arms around him. He returned the embrace awkwardly, and kissed the top of his head.
“I’m sorry for being so short with you,” he murmured into the loose strands. “Being cooped up in this place is driving me crazy.”
“It’s all right, ‘Fei,” Duo said, pulling away. He pulled Wufei’s face down for a kiss, murmuring words of love to the other between smooches. Hearing small replies, he smiled and delighted in the feel of Wufei as he snuggled in close.
“GOD! Just for ONE moment!! ONE!!” Trowa cried, turning away from the kitchen. “Can’t you guys just STOP sucking face for ONE fucking MOMENT?”
“Ignore him,” Duo murmured against Wufei’s smirking lips. “He’s just jealous he ain’t getting any.”
“Word to your mother.”
Duo laughed, embracing Wufei tightly.
See?! He thought. Wufei can be so fun to be with!
“Duo...”
“Yes, love of my life?”
“I...I think I’m ready...to...”
Excitement coursed through Duo’s whole body. He pulled away with a shocked expression, searching Wufei’s timid expression for something other than what just came out of his mouth. Then, realizing that Wufei was serious, he clutched his arms. “Really?! I mean–! Are you sure?!”
“Yes...yes, I am,” Wufei said, reaching out to tuck chestnut colored strands behind one of Duo’s ears. His fingertips trailed off his jaw, down to his collarbone. He traced the bone up to his shoulder.
“‘Fei,” Duo whispered, both hands catching the face of his love. “It’ll be good. It’ll be very good. I won’t hurt you...whatever the position, I won’t hurt you...”
“I think...” Wufei dropped his voice, so that only Duo could hear. His hands curled around Duo’s bare back, his hands flattening against the elegant spine. “I think you should be...should be...top. Because...I think...it’ll be easier for me. I mean, not that it might be hard, I’m just saying–”
“You don’t have to explain,” Duo whispered back, kissing the side of his mouth. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. If that’s your choice, then that’s what you’ve decided. I’ll take care of you, Wufei. I love you. I’ll take care of you...I won’t hurt you...”
Wufei smiled slightly, his face slightly pink. He nudged Duo’s chin with his knuckles, a gentle touch.
“You don’t have to speak to me as if I’m an animal, Maxwell,” he said gruffly.
Duo laughed, kissing him once more. “I’m sorry. I just...I just want to reassure you, y’know? Just...make sure that you know.”
“I...I know, Duo. I know.”
“Go take a shower, ‘k? This isn’t going to be some slam, bam, thank ya man kinda thing. Let’s make it an all-nighter.”
“Duo, I don’t think–”
“Just go! I left some hot water for ya!”
Wufei stared at his love for a few seconds, then smiled again. With another kiss placed on Duo’s lips, he turned and nervously walked out from the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, Duo jerked his arm into a victorious gesture, hissing, “Yes!”
Heero walked in at that moment, frowning as he watched Duo perform this gesture. He narrowed his eyes in thought. “And this is to celebrate...what?”
Duo straightened, and looked at him cheekily. “Oh...just...nothing. I love that guy. I really do.”
Heero snorted, rolling his eyes. He started rummaging through the cupboards.
Duo, scratching one ear, asked in a low whisper, “What’s going on between you and Q? You two don’t...talk or anything anymore. You’re sleeping in separate rooms!”
Heero grunted, and shut the cupboards. He then gave Duo a dismissive glance, and walked out without saying anything. He passed by Quatre on the way. Duo didn’t miss the rejected expression that briefly crossed over that pale face. He had to lower his eyebrows in thought–what did he miss? Things had been so fine between them...
Quatre looked at him, once again serious and quiet. He then proceeded to fill a cup with water.
“Do you feel any different, Duo? I mean, after all this training, do you feel different about your abilities?” he asked curiously, leaning against the counter.
Duo frowned as he thought about this. “Yeah,” he ventured slowly. “Like, I have more confidence in what I can do. Y’know?”
“Do you think you’ve gotten stronger? Ability wise?”
“Yeah...how about you?”
“I don’t get headaches as much,” Quatre confessed. “I feel restrained using the other part of my abilities. Like I can’t expand them any further.”
“Maybe you’ve reached your limits?” Duo suggested, brushing his fingers through his hair. Staring at his friend, he suddenly realized how dark those under eye circles were, how he never seemed to gain any weight. He seemed almost yellow in appearance, as if he were sick. It was then that he noticed how tense the other seemed, almost as if he were shutting everyone out, and was conversing only because he was forced to.
Come to think of it, Quatre had been very quiet, lately. Duo wondered when this had started, and what had happened. He’d have to pry later.
Quatre stared at him in silence for a few moments, then shook his head.
He murmured something Duo didn’t catch, turning away from him, walking off.
Duo blinked. Quatre certainly wasn’t the same. What the hell–?
He walked out from the kitchen. Trowa was balancing a knife on the tip of one finger; Heero glared at the window; Quatre was walking upstairs. Duo headed up in that direction, seeing that the bathroom door was still closed. In complete giddiness that he and Wufei were going to make love for the first time to each other, he squealed in delight and bounced into their shared room. He shut the door, and went about to rearrange everything to his liking. He was going to make this a very pleasant night for his love, and he’d do anything just to make sure of it.
O0o0o0o0o0oO
Wufei was shaking as he finished showering. The water dripped from the showerhead with a sort of monotone drip as he stared at the porcelain under foot. He was looking forward to spending the night with Duo, under intimate relations. But he was also nervous about it. He’d gotten over what his uncle had done to him–it had been a matter of acceptance and overcoming...
It had been a battle of mental concern– he’d realized that he hadn’t been at fault. That what his uncle had done had been out of his control.
It all hadn’t been his fault. He was innocent. He’d taken his revenge, of course, by killing his uncle. It had given him satisfaction that day, watching his uncle suffer and burn.
While on one hand, he felt nervous in reaction to what was going to happen; the other was excited about the prospect of sex. He trusted Duo. He trusted Duo Maxwell with all his heart, and knew, just knew that things would be great between them. Duo was sensitive and attuned to his moods and feelings, and adjusted to them accordingly. Wufei knew Duo wouldn’t hurt him in that way–he wanted Duo to be top, just to replace what unpleasant memories he had of that position with something more...loving. He knew Duo would make it right.
He was just nervous.
He walked out from the bathroom, glancing momentarily over the railing. Heero was sitting on the couch, getting ready to go to sleep. Wufei found it rather curious that the muscled mutant wasn’t paying the same sort of attention to Quatre as he had when the blond first came to their house. He hesitated on moving into his room, shifting his gaze from the downstairs, to the room down the hall. The door was shut, the lack of candlelight suggesting that Quatre was also in bed already.
Something had happened between them, and while Wufei was curious as to what, he certainly wasn’t going to interfere with their personal business. It wasn’t his affair. That was something those two had to work out. But then again, both of them kept their emotions distanced, and hadn’t at all pushed themselves into a relationship like his and Duo’s. It was all based on physicality. Wufei shouldn’t concern himself with their obvious problems.
He swallowed hard, and walked into the room he shared with Duo. It was lit with a single candle, and his love was waiting for him. With a sort of nervous air, he shut and locked the door behind him. Facing Duo, he took a deep breath, and concentrated on his boyfriend’s smiling face. Words didn’t have to be exchanged at this moment–all that they needed to know was evident on their faces.
Wufei hadn’t bothered to dress–there wasn’t a point if they were going to shed their clothes, anyway. He clutched the towel around his waist, and tilted his head questioningly at Duo, looking for the next move. Duo was wearing a towel as well, his hair loose and wavy. Duo tugged at his towel, then let it drop. Wufei took in the other’s body with his eyes, sweeping over the toned muscles of his stomach and chest, of the dark curls nestling his privates. He felt his face flush, but he tugged his towel off and let it drop as well. When he watched Duo take in his body with a sweep of his eyes, Wufei felt self-conscious and vulnerable. One hand lifted briefly to cover himself, but dropped it with a forceful amount of strength.
If he were going to be with Duo, in all ways that mattered, then there should be nothing for him to hide. Duo must have interpreted this correctly; he gave Wufei a tender smile, expression softening. He took the few steps needed to cross the distance between them; his fingers curled and entwined through Wufei’s. His grip was calm, reassuring. Lips met–bodies brushed against the other’s. Minutes were spent kissing, their hands still gripping the other.
Wufei felt all his guards slip away–there was no need for them to be up. He allowed himself to hold onto Duo with his other hand, his palm brushing against warm, smooth skin. He felt Duo’s hand on his hip, his thumb gently massaging the bone. It was a pleasant feeling.
They moved in unison, moving away from the door, to the bed. The mattress at the back of his knees caused Wufei to sit, his hands trailing onto Duo’s hips. The other boy flipped his hair out of his face, then reached down to embrace Wufei. His weight caused Wufei to flop onto his back–their teeth clinked together. Gentle chuckles and quiet laughter eased the nervous tension between them.
Wufei wasn’t sure how long it had taken them to start moving again. Hands moved over flesh in gentle, caressing ways. Bodies were explored and learned at the touch of fingertips. Lips moved over unexplored areas from previous sessions before. Skin warmed as the intensity of their actions blossomed.
Their mouths moved fiercely against each other’s, nearly devouring in their actions. Wufei knew Duo was waiting for a signal for him, for him to move onto the main event. He loved him for being so patient, so gentle, even when he never displayed these sorts of things outwardly in public. With Wufei, he was always so considerate and gentle. Always aware of his feelings. Wufei wanted to let Duo know that he appreciated this. His hands pulled at Duo’s body, bringing him closer. The touch of his body against his made him sigh with pleasure.
He could hear his heartbeat–a sort of frantic pace that he felt was full of excitement and love for him. Duo’s face reflected that as he captured his lips, his tongue moving gently over Wufei’s. Wufei shifted underneath him, spreading his legs to grip Duo with his inner thighs. He could feel the other’s privates brushing against him–it was exciting. Not at all scary or intimidating. He wasn’t sure if Duo would allow him to touch that area just yet, but his hands moved curiously over Duo’s hips and lower belly, questioning with his hands.
Duo reacted with a low sigh against his ear, shifting position. His hand settled over Wufei’s, and gently guided him in that area. With a flushed face, Wufei felt the hardened response there, touching a penis that had not met the fate of circumcision. It was a curiosity of his, touching the extra fold of foreskin, moving it in a manner that had him wondrous. His thumb moved aside the extra fold, touching the head of Duo’s penis. His entire penis was hard and smooth–it fit in his hand like a warm, living toy. He chuckled lightly, hearing his boyfriend murmur a question in his ear.
“I’ve never–”
“I’m all pure, baby. Nothin’ of mine’s been removed for the sake of appearance,” Duo said on a chuckle of his own, kissing him. “Can I touch you?”
“Yes.”
Wufei paused in his continued handling of Duo’s penis once he felt him grip his. His hands were nimble and sure, working over his length with a smooth caress that left him feeling breathless. Stroking lightly, his fingertips danced over the head and down the sides. His hand worked wonders in ways Wufei hadn’t thought of as he absorbed the pleasure that he felt in this simple action. His hips pressed upward, seeking more of this wondrous action.
Duo’s mouth met his, his tongue sponging his gently. Wufei reached up, gripping him with both arms. Duo moved against him, nudging him with his erect penis. There was nothing wrong with this situation. There was only the sharing of feelings and bodies...there wasn’t anything threatening or menacing in either’s actions. Wufei felt totally comfortable with him. He felt as if he could open up and reveal everything to him, and he knew he’d never be hurt. Duo would always take care of him in that manner. And he’d always take care of him.
Lovemaking was different from sex–sex was basic. Lovemaking was different. Wufei had these sorts of thoughts as he watched Duo’s face, feeling all sorts of pleasure and wondrous amounts of love course through him. Duo took the movements slowly, sweat gathered on various areas, and used every past experience in his power to make Wufei felt the ultimate pleasure. Wufei appreciated every gesture, every loving movement. He didn’t feel pain; he didn’t feel as if anything were done wrong; he just felt the love he had for Duo, and felt the love for him from Duo.
Everything seemed removed from his conscious thinking as Duo made love with him. Wufei could only concentrate on Duo and nothing else. He didn’t care if he made loud noises, or if a natural body noise was emitted. He felt warm and safe with Duo. It all felt right. He held onto Duo tightly, breathing heavily as he felt the heated burn of an orgasm slowly rise to the surface. Duo was straining every bit of his body to keep himself under control, to give Wufei his pleasure first, and it showed. He’d had his hands fisted in Wufei’s hair; he shifted one, reaching between them to stroke Wufei’s straining organ.
Wufei tilted his head back, breathing heavily, the burn growing steady at his lower belly. He knew he was coming, the hot spiral racing throughout his insides. He gripped Duo’s shoulders with both hands, moaning loudly as his body gave a quick jerk, his semen released in a steady pumping movement against his body and Duo’s. He heard Duo give a loud, wordless moan, pumping harder into his body.
Laying back with a boneless manner, Wufei felt Duo jerk against him, his cock twitching within his ass. The long haired boy then leaned forward, his forehead pressed against his chest. Wufei stared up at the ceiling, feeling the elation of orgasm, and all the love he felt for Duo. But Duo was too heavy; he pushed him to the side with a gentle murmur, Duo shifting his still hard cock out of his body. Both of them laid on the bed, breathing heavily.
After awhile, Duo removed the condom he had used, and disposed of it. Wufei reached over to grip Duo’s sweaty shoulders. He pressed kisses along the muscled lines, tasting the salt. Duo shifted in his arms, meeting his lips.
“Are you all right?” he whispered, brushing Wufei’s hair out of his face.
“Yes.”
Wufei chuckled, his hand running over Duo’s face, brushing away loose strands of hair. He shifted so that he was on top, kissing those thin, wide lips with earnest. Duo murmured something that he replied to; he wasn’t even sure what it was. He was just so focused on him. His emotions felt similar to what Duo had described of his own. Something so big inside...wanting to come out. He felt it all for Duo.
Was it possible to feel so much for someone? In such a short amount of time?
Minutes passed, lips melding and touching, tongues caressing and saliva exchanged. Duo commented on how glad he was that Catherine was looking out for them. Wufei took his turn on top, executing what he’d learned from Duo’s previous lovemaking. As Duo moaned, shifted, and sighed underneath him, giving encouraging words, Wufei wondered if they were moving too fast, if this were too good to be true.
O0o0o0o0o0oO
He clutched the pillow tightly within both fists, staring wide-eyed at the darkness. Damn it, didn’t those two know that they were loud?
Did the others hear his and Heero’s ‘activities’ those nights before? Were they so loud? Or was it just because he could feel their emotions, and they were just louder because of them?
He felt cold inside, feeling the happiness and love of that relationship.
He wondered what that was like, sharing one’s body with another that loved and cared for him. To feel the other person’s love and affection...reaching out now, he could just feel how Wufei and Duo felt for each other. It was suffocating. It was entirely suffocating. It was as if every cell of his body was rejecting those feelings, rendering them as fake.
He was jealous of them. He burned with it.
He’d found what he needed in Heero–but Heero had been disgusted at the truth. This was what he was doomed for his entire life–he couldn’t bring himself to function in a relationship the way those two did... No one wanted a person like him with them. He was just so messed up inside. He didn’t know how to fix it. There wasn’t a magical button that allowed this.
The door to the room opened, and he stiffened, his heart racing fiercely as he wondered if it were Heero. Hope bloomed and burned, like a flare. A second chance? Perhaps Duo’s and Wufei’s lovemaking had made the other mutant realize that he needed Quatre. Quatre would keep quiet and would concentrate solely on Heero and not himself, so that the memories won’t interrupt. He would keep his mouth shut–allowing certain instances, of course–and he’d make sure that Heero was happy with him.
The door closed, and he held his breath, listening to the footsteps that crossed the floor. The bed sank, and a wet nose nudged his cheek briefly. He felt disappointed that it wasn’t Heero. But Trowa would do, no matter what form.
The large golden retriever lay with a sigh against his side, and a golden head rested over his back. This wasn’t so bad...in a way, it was more comforting than any cure in the world. Quatre closed his eyes and waited to fall asleep. Trowa may be psychotic in some areas, but there were others, like this one, that were truly golden.
O0o0o0o0o0oO
Nearly two days later, Duo was curious about Trowa. Wufei and Heero had gone out, to walk the length of the road back to the main one that would take them to a nearby town for some more supplies, and weren’t expected to be back any time soon. So, he was left with both Quatre and Trowa; both of whom were boring him.
He sighed loudly, flopping back first onto the couch. They had finished their training hours earlier, and were simply relaxing around the house. Trowa had taken on cat form, sitting on the window sill, and Quatre had busied himself by sitting at the end of the sectional and lost himself in his own thoughts. The silence of the place was truly deafening, and Duo wasn’t one for silence.
He glanced from one to the other, giving a grim frown. Sitting up, he stared over at the tabby that was taking in the sights from outside, and shifted in his seat. He didn’t know Trowa very well–just knew that the boy was possibly psychopathic–he wasn’t very clear on the term. Sure, Trowa was annoying and quite hard at times, but he didn’t display any signs of psychoses. Duo just thought he was being a bully.
“So, Trowa,” he began crossing one ankle over the other. “Tell me about yourself, man. You’re the one I know least about.”
The tabby looked over at him with indifference, then began to bathe himself.
“That’s disgusting, man. C’mon! Just talk to me!” Duo whined, slouching his shoulders. “I’m so frickin’ bored...with no television up in this joint, it’s like–there’s nothing to do!”
The tabby’s ears flattened, but rose again.
“And Quat doesn’t talk much–and probably what I’d learn about him wouldn’t be anything good,” Duo added, looking over at the blond. Quatre looked at him blankly, blinking away his thoughts at the sound of his name. “Hey, just kidding, man. Nothing bad on you.”
“Why would I want to share who I am with you, Duo?” Trowa asked, shifting form, resuming human form. “You wouldn’t be able to handle what I am.”
“Ah, shit,” Duo crowed. “You’re nothing but a bully, man! I doubt you got shit on you like the rest of us... c’mon. Sit down.”
“You wanna know who I am, Duo?” Trowa asked, blinking. He moved away from the window, pining Duo with a sort of cold stare that had the boy stilling with some uncertainty. “You really want to know what I am?”
“Well...uh...you can start at the beginning, I guess,” Duo muttered, glancing briefly at Quatre. “I mean, we got all day, y’know? We can just...shoot the shit.”
“You wanna shoot the shit with me, Duo? Fine. Fine, I’ll let you in, I suppose. Just for a moment or two. Considering you amuse me.”
Duo gave a weak chuckle, but paused as Trowa stalked over, looming over him with a sort of threatening air. Giving an uncomfortable shift on his seat, Duo tried to relax himself, staring up at the older boy with unease. He glanced over at Quatre, who was regarding the entire scene as something of interest, then glanced back up at Trowa.
“Here’s what you need to know about me, Duo,” Trowa began, lowering his voice to something sinister. “When I was ten years old, my wonderfully lovely neighbor tried forcing me to give him head. I didn’t agree to the idea, so I bit his dick off. I still remember what that tasted like–blood, muscle, fluid...I remember spitting that shit out of my mouth, almost suffocated by the blood that was coming out of his body. He screamed real loud, then, Duo. Almost like a girl. And you know what? I felt good about that shit, Duo. I liked making him scream like that. He deserved it for trying to make me do something I didn’t want to do. It was disgusting.”
Duo stared at him in horrified silence, unable to think of anything to say. As Trowa continued to speak, his voice just seemed to get even more sinister, more deadly. The smirk on his face told of something else as he leaned closer to Duo, invading his space and making the braided one squirm uncomfortably.
“The bastard used a rolling pin on me, then. Knocked me into a coma. The others said I wasn’t the same after that. That I grew some sort of personality disorder. But I was pissed at everyone. For letting that man do that to me. For the shit my mother did with my sister. For seeing things that I didn’t want to see. To have some bastard fucking ride my ass about being too skinny, about being too shy, about being too fuckin’ quiet about everything! Things just built and rolled and built–until I got too tired of it all. When I found myself shifting into animals–well. I found it convenient. I used that to my advantage. Took care of that problem right away.”
“You...killed them?”
“Every last one of them. Except for Catherine. You want to know why? Because it made me laugh to see and hear her screaming. She amused me. That’s why she lived.”
Duo stared, unblinking, into Trowa’s face, unable to move or even take a deep breath. The horror he felt upon seeing the boy’s indifferent expression as he spoke of these abhorrences was enough to render him paralyzed. While he wanted to chalk up Trowa’s family’s death as something they deserved, he could just tell that this wasn’t the end of Trowa’s story. He found himself recoiling with repugnance as Trowa continued.
“Living out on the streets, all by myself? Gave me some realization into what freedom I had. The freedom to pick on people. To torture little things. To take part in crime that society deems as evil, disgusting, horrific. No one could touch me. I could only touch them. They won’t hurt me, anymore. If I see something violent, it’s because of me. Not them. And you know what, Duo? You want to know why I can’t seem to find interest in men or women? Is because they don’t do it for me. You want to know what does?”
“No,” Duo answered truthfully, finding himself pressed tightly against the couch, unable to look away from those green eyes. They just seemed to fill with darkness the more Trowa spoke, and that crooked smile of his grew even more twisted. It seemed that the more Trowa spoke, the more Duo realized he didn’t know this man at all. He wasn’t a boy–he was a man. A deeply disturbed one, at that. Every one of his hairs were standing straight up, and he found himself wanting to teleport far away from him.
His skin tingled, his gut twisted nervously.
“The ones that can’t fight back. I like to hear them cry. I like to see them writhe in pain. I like being in control. I like being able to dominate them. I like to tear them apart. I like their blood on my hands, Duo. That’s why.”
Duo shuddered with revulsion, hearing himself breathe shakily as he tried to withdraw away from the softly speaking man. But Trowa continued to speak, pressing closer, his hands on either side of Duo’s head.
“I haven’t had my fix, Duo. That’s why I’m a little antsy. It’s been a long while since I had one. Crying, shaking, screaming–I like it when their muscles spasm, Duo. Clenching, twisting, gripping...the ultimate pleasure. And they can never tell on me. My secret will always be safe. You want to know me, Duo, you’ve got it. Do you feel good about what you found out?”
“God...you’re fucked up.”
“Yes...I am. I don’t deny it. They made me, Duo. And I destroyed them. I like my power. I like being able to have control. That’s why I take them.”
“You’re fucking sick!” Duo spat, shaking with barely controlled rage. “Children?”
Trowa tilted his head to the side, and gave him a softened expression. It was almost fond. Duo had to fight not to retch, his gut twisting violently. “I was a child when I was violated, Duo. Why not?”
“G-god–!”
“There isn’t a God, Duo! Get off your religious bar stool!”
“I–I can’t d-do this!” Duo gasped, hugging himself, trying not to touch the man that loomed over him. “Children! You fucked over children! How can you fucking live with yourself?”
“Easy, Duo. I told you why.” Trowa straightened away from the couch, brushing his hair from his face. “No one cares. I’ve never been caught. No one told me it was wrong. And even then, what’s going to stop me from doing it?”
“Y-you–! I–I can’t believe this! I–! I’m out of here!” Duo finally cried, rising from the couch, shoving Trowa aside, and racing outside. The door slammed shut behind him, the walls shaking with the impact.
Trowa chuckled lowly to himself, turning–and remembering he still had an audience. Quatre stared at him in silence, unable to take his eyes away from the green-eyed man.
Trowa gave a smirk, and crossed the distance between them, making himself as threatening as possible. He expected the blond to recoil as Duo had–to stare at him with disgust and fear–to tremble and shake with revulsion. But the blond simply stared at him in silence, almost unblinking.
“I could make exceptions, though,” Trowa began slowly, leaning over the boy. He invaded his space as he’d done with Duo, with hands on either side of Quatre’s head, and his face looming dangerously close. But the blond still didn’t move; he merely shifted his eyes upward, blinking in that slow way he had. “I could do you. You look like a child. The bony frame of a boy just starting out.”
“No,” Quatre said quietly, never looking away. “You can’t.”
“I could. I could take you right now. Violently. I’d make your ass bleed for days. Just like Yuy did.”
“No...you can’t.”
Trowa pushed away from him, giving an annoyed expression. “What makes you so sure? I could do it easily. You can’t fight back. You never do.”
Quatre shook his head slightly, and his lips twitched. Trowa saw this minute movement, and his eyes grew dark with anger, his jaw clenching. “You can’t, Trowa.”
Trowa reached down, gripping white blond strands within both hands, and savagely yanking Quatre off the couch. The blond gave a pained cry as Trowa did this, but didn’t bother fighting as he felt his jeans being manipulated and roughly pulled from his hips. He stared up silently at the green eyed boy, having never felt as safe as he did now. It gave him a great sense of relief and unfamiliar security as he realized Trowa’s dysfunction. When had he ever felt this safe?
Trowa fondled his sac roughly, and even yanked at his penis. But even as he did so, Quatre stared up at him and felt incredibly inviolable.
“You can’t do it, Trowa,” he said softly. “You don’t react to males. Nor females. You told Duo a lie.”
Trowa settled back on his heels, frowning at him. He stopped touching him, and simply scowled at him. Quatre wanted to laugh, to cry, to do something that would express his gratitude and security with this demented person. He had never felt this safe before! It didn’t matter why. It didn’t matter at all.
“I led him to believe what he wanted,” Trowa answered, rising from the prone boy’s form. “Get your pants back on. You’re disgusting. Whore.”
Quatre rose onto his elbows, watching as Trowa left the cabin. His shoulders shook, and his head bowed with reflection. Then, he shifted, pulling his pants and underwear back on. It didn’t matter that Trowa was unbalanced, that he felt no real emotion in matters–what mattered was that Quatre wouldn’t ever feel that sense of violation from him. And that’s what made him safe.
Standard Disclaimers Apply: Don’t own Gundam Wing nor X-Men
Notes: Some stuff was changed around, here. I deleted some stuff, added some stuff, so it’s still the long winded, pompous bag that ya’ll are familiar with–just with some differences.
O0o0o0o0o0oO means scene change
Chapter Fourteen:
This Is What It Feels Like
The days passed by–it was obvious the doctors weren’t coming by any time soon. Their training activities continued on, with variants in winners each day. And cabin fever arose in all five. It wasn’t long until everyone was speaking to each other in snappish words, and furniture was broken because of an occasional fistfight. Moods were darkened, and alliances shifted.
Duo complained to Trowa about how Wufei stole all the covers and insisted that he get his teeth fixed as soon as they returned home.
Trowa complained to Quatre that Heero was sniffing at him funny.
Quatre complained to Wufei that Trowa added too much salt to his food whenever he was cooking.
Heero complained to Duo that Wufei wore too much white.
Wufei complained to Trowa that Trowa started all the fights and left the seat down purposely to piss everyone off.
Heero complained to Trowa that Duo had too long hair.
Trowa complained to Duo that Wufei used too much toilet paper.
Quatre complained to Trowa that Duo laughed too damn much.
Wufei complained to Heero that Quatre made too much noise in bed (of course, Wufei had to clarify that it was sleep talking, but he’d noticed that Heero hadn’t even cared).
Duo complained to Heero that Trowa was too tall.
And so on, and so on...
It wasn’t a case of hate due to the variances in battles–it was just that five young men shouldn’t be holed up in a small cabin in the middle of no where when they all had problems. The food supply of non-perishables were dwindling, and before they returned to the cottage after their training exercises, they hunted. Deer, rabbits, and the occasional bird were in excess in this particular area, especially when one of the boys’ number could change into a certain animal and lure them into a trap.
The communicator Heero had been given from the doctors was a fake–there was nothing in it that worked. It was merely a replica of the real thing. There weren’t any compatibilities with normal batteries in the household, so the thing was worthless in every way.
Duo learned how to hunt and dress his animal–though he found too much delight in making the dead things dance. He often put on a sort of puppet show in which he re-enacted popular movie segments. He found himself especially terrorized after re-enacting a bestiality porn-show that starred Trowa (as a rabbit) and Heero (as a young deer)–needless to say, when the ‘stars’ found out, they weren’t very pleased. Wufei and Quatre had to apply stitches and ice packs in uncomfortable places.
One night, after an especially strained dinner, Duo grew bored enough to suggest that they play a game.
“What? A game?” Trowa asked, sullen that there were no batteries for his Gameboy. “What kind?”
“I don’t know...spin the bottle?”
“Gross...”
“Uh...Seven Minutes in Heaven?”
“What’s that?” Wufei asked, frowning. He winced when a blob of stew gravy was flung his way.
“Don’t be retarded,” Trowa snapped. “Even I know what that is. And the answer is ‘no’, you horny little shit.”
“Aw...well...how about...Hide and Seek?”
“We play that every morning, Duo,” Quatre snarled. “It’s called ‘training’!”
“Sheesh...maybe...Truth or Dare?”
“NO!” all of them shouted.
Duo winced. “Fine, fine...one more suggestion: I Never. And instead of drinks? We exchange bodily favors.”
“NOO!”
He sighed, shrugging in defeat. “Whatever. I tried.”
Wufei drummed his fingers along the coffee table. Heero leaned back in his seat and counted, for the millionth time, the joists that held the cottage’s roof. Trowa stared blankly at the pot of stew that sat alone on the counter. Quatre idly pulled at his eyebrows. Duo looked at all his comrades, and listened to the thick silence between them all. He looked at Wufei–whom he never tired of looking at, no matter how bitchy he got when he was cranky–and then looked down at his lap.
When he felt that tenseness in his shoulders that signaled his quiet time was up, he looked at the others once more. Trowa was sitting far too close to Quatre; Quatre was sitting cross-legged with his hands in his lap; Heero was at the end of the section, arms crossed stubbornly; and Wufei was sitting with one ankle over one knee, arms crossed loosely around his middle. When Duo felt the time was right, he erupted with a loud roar.
More than one person jerked in reflex, and Duo laughed in amusement.
“Stupid idiot!” Trowa cursed, kicking at him.
Duo blocked the offending foot, rising from the floor. “I’m going to take a shower, ya’ll. Anyone want to join me? Anyone? C’mon!! Anyone want to come with me, and at least sit on the toilet to talk to me?”
When no one volunteered, Duo sighed heavily and trudged upstairs to do just that. He made sure to slam the bathroom door hard to make sure the others knew how annoyed he was with them.
When he emerged, wearing only a towel because he’d washed his clothes and laid them on the floor of their room to dry, he hurried down the stairway. His hair was loose, so he flipped that out of his face. Wufei was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, so Duo veered in that direction.
“Hey,” he greeted, hugging his man from behind.
Wufei elbowed him off. “You’re cold!”
“Well, yeah! But...don’t I smell fresh and pretty?” Duo asked, sniffing under one arm.
“No.”
“Aw...c’mon! You’re just cranky, aren’t you?”
Wufei sighed heavily, paused in putting dry dishes away. He turned to face the other, who promptly wrapped his arms around him. He returned the embrace awkwardly, and kissed the top of his head.
“I’m sorry for being so short with you,” he murmured into the loose strands. “Being cooped up in this place is driving me crazy.”
“It’s all right, ‘Fei,” Duo said, pulling away. He pulled Wufei’s face down for a kiss, murmuring words of love to the other between smooches. Hearing small replies, he smiled and delighted in the feel of Wufei as he snuggled in close.
“GOD! Just for ONE moment!! ONE!!” Trowa cried, turning away from the kitchen. “Can’t you guys just STOP sucking face for ONE fucking MOMENT?”
“Ignore him,” Duo murmured against Wufei’s smirking lips. “He’s just jealous he ain’t getting any.”
“Word to your mother.”
Duo laughed, embracing Wufei tightly.
See?! He thought. Wufei can be so fun to be with!
“Duo...”
“Yes, love of my life?”
“I...I think I’m ready...to...”
Excitement coursed through Duo’s whole body. He pulled away with a shocked expression, searching Wufei’s timid expression for something other than what just came out of his mouth. Then, realizing that Wufei was serious, he clutched his arms. “Really?! I mean–! Are you sure?!”
“Yes...yes, I am,” Wufei said, reaching out to tuck chestnut colored strands behind one of Duo’s ears. His fingertips trailed off his jaw, down to his collarbone. He traced the bone up to his shoulder.
“‘Fei,” Duo whispered, both hands catching the face of his love. “It’ll be good. It’ll be very good. I won’t hurt you...whatever the position, I won’t hurt you...”
“I think...” Wufei dropped his voice, so that only Duo could hear. His hands curled around Duo’s bare back, his hands flattening against the elegant spine. “I think you should be...should be...top. Because...I think...it’ll be easier for me. I mean, not that it might be hard, I’m just saying–”
“You don’t have to explain,” Duo whispered back, kissing the side of his mouth. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. If that’s your choice, then that’s what you’ve decided. I’ll take care of you, Wufei. I love you. I’ll take care of you...I won’t hurt you...”
Wufei smiled slightly, his face slightly pink. He nudged Duo’s chin with his knuckles, a gentle touch.
“You don’t have to speak to me as if I’m an animal, Maxwell,” he said gruffly.
Duo laughed, kissing him once more. “I’m sorry. I just...I just want to reassure you, y’know? Just...make sure that you know.”
“I...I know, Duo. I know.”
“Go take a shower, ‘k? This isn’t going to be some slam, bam, thank ya man kinda thing. Let’s make it an all-nighter.”
“Duo, I don’t think–”
“Just go! I left some hot water for ya!”
Wufei stared at his love for a few seconds, then smiled again. With another kiss placed on Duo’s lips, he turned and nervously walked out from the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, Duo jerked his arm into a victorious gesture, hissing, “Yes!”
Heero walked in at that moment, frowning as he watched Duo perform this gesture. He narrowed his eyes in thought. “And this is to celebrate...what?”
Duo straightened, and looked at him cheekily. “Oh...just...nothing. I love that guy. I really do.”
Heero snorted, rolling his eyes. He started rummaging through the cupboards.
Duo, scratching one ear, asked in a low whisper, “What’s going on between you and Q? You two don’t...talk or anything anymore. You’re sleeping in separate rooms!”
Heero grunted, and shut the cupboards. He then gave Duo a dismissive glance, and walked out without saying anything. He passed by Quatre on the way. Duo didn’t miss the rejected expression that briefly crossed over that pale face. He had to lower his eyebrows in thought–what did he miss? Things had been so fine between them...
Quatre looked at him, once again serious and quiet. He then proceeded to fill a cup with water.
“Do you feel any different, Duo? I mean, after all this training, do you feel different about your abilities?” he asked curiously, leaning against the counter.
Duo frowned as he thought about this. “Yeah,” he ventured slowly. “Like, I have more confidence in what I can do. Y’know?”
“Do you think you’ve gotten stronger? Ability wise?”
“Yeah...how about you?”
“I don’t get headaches as much,” Quatre confessed. “I feel restrained using the other part of my abilities. Like I can’t expand them any further.”
“Maybe you’ve reached your limits?” Duo suggested, brushing his fingers through his hair. Staring at his friend, he suddenly realized how dark those under eye circles were, how he never seemed to gain any weight. He seemed almost yellow in appearance, as if he were sick. It was then that he noticed how tense the other seemed, almost as if he were shutting everyone out, and was conversing only because he was forced to.
Come to think of it, Quatre had been very quiet, lately. Duo wondered when this had started, and what had happened. He’d have to pry later.
Quatre stared at him in silence for a few moments, then shook his head.
He murmured something Duo didn’t catch, turning away from him, walking off.
Duo blinked. Quatre certainly wasn’t the same. What the hell–?
He walked out from the kitchen. Trowa was balancing a knife on the tip of one finger; Heero glared at the window; Quatre was walking upstairs. Duo headed up in that direction, seeing that the bathroom door was still closed. In complete giddiness that he and Wufei were going to make love for the first time to each other, he squealed in delight and bounced into their shared room. He shut the door, and went about to rearrange everything to his liking. He was going to make this a very pleasant night for his love, and he’d do anything just to make sure of it.
O0o0o0o0o0oO
Wufei was shaking as he finished showering. The water dripped from the showerhead with a sort of monotone drip as he stared at the porcelain under foot. He was looking forward to spending the night with Duo, under intimate relations. But he was also nervous about it. He’d gotten over what his uncle had done to him–it had been a matter of acceptance and overcoming...
It had been a battle of mental concern– he’d realized that he hadn’t been at fault. That what his uncle had done had been out of his control.
It all hadn’t been his fault. He was innocent. He’d taken his revenge, of course, by killing his uncle. It had given him satisfaction that day, watching his uncle suffer and burn.
While on one hand, he felt nervous in reaction to what was going to happen; the other was excited about the prospect of sex. He trusted Duo. He trusted Duo Maxwell with all his heart, and knew, just knew that things would be great between them. Duo was sensitive and attuned to his moods and feelings, and adjusted to them accordingly. Wufei knew Duo wouldn’t hurt him in that way–he wanted Duo to be top, just to replace what unpleasant memories he had of that position with something more...loving. He knew Duo would make it right.
He was just nervous.
He walked out from the bathroom, glancing momentarily over the railing. Heero was sitting on the couch, getting ready to go to sleep. Wufei found it rather curious that the muscled mutant wasn’t paying the same sort of attention to Quatre as he had when the blond first came to their house. He hesitated on moving into his room, shifting his gaze from the downstairs, to the room down the hall. The door was shut, the lack of candlelight suggesting that Quatre was also in bed already.
Something had happened between them, and while Wufei was curious as to what, he certainly wasn’t going to interfere with their personal business. It wasn’t his affair. That was something those two had to work out. But then again, both of them kept their emotions distanced, and hadn’t at all pushed themselves into a relationship like his and Duo’s. It was all based on physicality. Wufei shouldn’t concern himself with their obvious problems.
He swallowed hard, and walked into the room he shared with Duo. It was lit with a single candle, and his love was waiting for him. With a sort of nervous air, he shut and locked the door behind him. Facing Duo, he took a deep breath, and concentrated on his boyfriend’s smiling face. Words didn’t have to be exchanged at this moment–all that they needed to know was evident on their faces.
Wufei hadn’t bothered to dress–there wasn’t a point if they were going to shed their clothes, anyway. He clutched the towel around his waist, and tilted his head questioningly at Duo, looking for the next move. Duo was wearing a towel as well, his hair loose and wavy. Duo tugged at his towel, then let it drop. Wufei took in the other’s body with his eyes, sweeping over the toned muscles of his stomach and chest, of the dark curls nestling his privates. He felt his face flush, but he tugged his towel off and let it drop as well. When he watched Duo take in his body with a sweep of his eyes, Wufei felt self-conscious and vulnerable. One hand lifted briefly to cover himself, but dropped it with a forceful amount of strength.
If he were going to be with Duo, in all ways that mattered, then there should be nothing for him to hide. Duo must have interpreted this correctly; he gave Wufei a tender smile, expression softening. He took the few steps needed to cross the distance between them; his fingers curled and entwined through Wufei’s. His grip was calm, reassuring. Lips met–bodies brushed against the other’s. Minutes were spent kissing, their hands still gripping the other.
Wufei felt all his guards slip away–there was no need for them to be up. He allowed himself to hold onto Duo with his other hand, his palm brushing against warm, smooth skin. He felt Duo’s hand on his hip, his thumb gently massaging the bone. It was a pleasant feeling.
They moved in unison, moving away from the door, to the bed. The mattress at the back of his knees caused Wufei to sit, his hands trailing onto Duo’s hips. The other boy flipped his hair out of his face, then reached down to embrace Wufei. His weight caused Wufei to flop onto his back–their teeth clinked together. Gentle chuckles and quiet laughter eased the nervous tension between them.
Wufei wasn’t sure how long it had taken them to start moving again. Hands moved over flesh in gentle, caressing ways. Bodies were explored and learned at the touch of fingertips. Lips moved over unexplored areas from previous sessions before. Skin warmed as the intensity of their actions blossomed.
Their mouths moved fiercely against each other’s, nearly devouring in their actions. Wufei knew Duo was waiting for a signal for him, for him to move onto the main event. He loved him for being so patient, so gentle, even when he never displayed these sorts of things outwardly in public. With Wufei, he was always so considerate and gentle. Always aware of his feelings. Wufei wanted to let Duo know that he appreciated this. His hands pulled at Duo’s body, bringing him closer. The touch of his body against his made him sigh with pleasure.
He could hear his heartbeat–a sort of frantic pace that he felt was full of excitement and love for him. Duo’s face reflected that as he captured his lips, his tongue moving gently over Wufei’s. Wufei shifted underneath him, spreading his legs to grip Duo with his inner thighs. He could feel the other’s privates brushing against him–it was exciting. Not at all scary or intimidating. He wasn’t sure if Duo would allow him to touch that area just yet, but his hands moved curiously over Duo’s hips and lower belly, questioning with his hands.
Duo reacted with a low sigh against his ear, shifting position. His hand settled over Wufei’s, and gently guided him in that area. With a flushed face, Wufei felt the hardened response there, touching a penis that had not met the fate of circumcision. It was a curiosity of his, touching the extra fold of foreskin, moving it in a manner that had him wondrous. His thumb moved aside the extra fold, touching the head of Duo’s penis. His entire penis was hard and smooth–it fit in his hand like a warm, living toy. He chuckled lightly, hearing his boyfriend murmur a question in his ear.
“I’ve never–”
“I’m all pure, baby. Nothin’ of mine’s been removed for the sake of appearance,” Duo said on a chuckle of his own, kissing him. “Can I touch you?”
“Yes.”
Wufei paused in his continued handling of Duo’s penis once he felt him grip his. His hands were nimble and sure, working over his length with a smooth caress that left him feeling breathless. Stroking lightly, his fingertips danced over the head and down the sides. His hand worked wonders in ways Wufei hadn’t thought of as he absorbed the pleasure that he felt in this simple action. His hips pressed upward, seeking more of this wondrous action.
Duo’s mouth met his, his tongue sponging his gently. Wufei reached up, gripping him with both arms. Duo moved against him, nudging him with his erect penis. There was nothing wrong with this situation. There was only the sharing of feelings and bodies...there wasn’t anything threatening or menacing in either’s actions. Wufei felt totally comfortable with him. He felt as if he could open up and reveal everything to him, and he knew he’d never be hurt. Duo would always take care of him in that manner. And he’d always take care of him.
Lovemaking was different from sex–sex was basic. Lovemaking was different. Wufei had these sorts of thoughts as he watched Duo’s face, feeling all sorts of pleasure and wondrous amounts of love course through him. Duo took the movements slowly, sweat gathered on various areas, and used every past experience in his power to make Wufei felt the ultimate pleasure. Wufei appreciated every gesture, every loving movement. He didn’t feel pain; he didn’t feel as if anything were done wrong; he just felt the love he had for Duo, and felt the love for him from Duo.
Everything seemed removed from his conscious thinking as Duo made love with him. Wufei could only concentrate on Duo and nothing else. He didn’t care if he made loud noises, or if a natural body noise was emitted. He felt warm and safe with Duo. It all felt right. He held onto Duo tightly, breathing heavily as he felt the heated burn of an orgasm slowly rise to the surface. Duo was straining every bit of his body to keep himself under control, to give Wufei his pleasure first, and it showed. He’d had his hands fisted in Wufei’s hair; he shifted one, reaching between them to stroke Wufei’s straining organ.
Wufei tilted his head back, breathing heavily, the burn growing steady at his lower belly. He knew he was coming, the hot spiral racing throughout his insides. He gripped Duo’s shoulders with both hands, moaning loudly as his body gave a quick jerk, his semen released in a steady pumping movement against his body and Duo’s. He heard Duo give a loud, wordless moan, pumping harder into his body.
Laying back with a boneless manner, Wufei felt Duo jerk against him, his cock twitching within his ass. The long haired boy then leaned forward, his forehead pressed against his chest. Wufei stared up at the ceiling, feeling the elation of orgasm, and all the love he felt for Duo. But Duo was too heavy; he pushed him to the side with a gentle murmur, Duo shifting his still hard cock out of his body. Both of them laid on the bed, breathing heavily.
After awhile, Duo removed the condom he had used, and disposed of it. Wufei reached over to grip Duo’s sweaty shoulders. He pressed kisses along the muscled lines, tasting the salt. Duo shifted in his arms, meeting his lips.
“Are you all right?” he whispered, brushing Wufei’s hair out of his face.
“Yes.”
Wufei chuckled, his hand running over Duo’s face, brushing away loose strands of hair. He shifted so that he was on top, kissing those thin, wide lips with earnest. Duo murmured something that he replied to; he wasn’t even sure what it was. He was just so focused on him. His emotions felt similar to what Duo had described of his own. Something so big inside...wanting to come out. He felt it all for Duo.
Was it possible to feel so much for someone? In such a short amount of time?
Minutes passed, lips melding and touching, tongues caressing and saliva exchanged. Duo commented on how glad he was that Catherine was looking out for them. Wufei took his turn on top, executing what he’d learned from Duo’s previous lovemaking. As Duo moaned, shifted, and sighed underneath him, giving encouraging words, Wufei wondered if they were moving too fast, if this were too good to be true.
O0o0o0o0o0oO
He clutched the pillow tightly within both fists, staring wide-eyed at the darkness. Damn it, didn’t those two know that they were loud?
Did the others hear his and Heero’s ‘activities’ those nights before? Were they so loud? Or was it just because he could feel their emotions, and they were just louder because of them?
He felt cold inside, feeling the happiness and love of that relationship.
He wondered what that was like, sharing one’s body with another that loved and cared for him. To feel the other person’s love and affection...reaching out now, he could just feel how Wufei and Duo felt for each other. It was suffocating. It was entirely suffocating. It was as if every cell of his body was rejecting those feelings, rendering them as fake.
He was jealous of them. He burned with it.
He’d found what he needed in Heero–but Heero had been disgusted at the truth. This was what he was doomed for his entire life–he couldn’t bring himself to function in a relationship the way those two did... No one wanted a person like him with them. He was just so messed up inside. He didn’t know how to fix it. There wasn’t a magical button that allowed this.
The door to the room opened, and he stiffened, his heart racing fiercely as he wondered if it were Heero. Hope bloomed and burned, like a flare. A second chance? Perhaps Duo’s and Wufei’s lovemaking had made the other mutant realize that he needed Quatre. Quatre would keep quiet and would concentrate solely on Heero and not himself, so that the memories won’t interrupt. He would keep his mouth shut–allowing certain instances, of course–and he’d make sure that Heero was happy with him.
The door closed, and he held his breath, listening to the footsteps that crossed the floor. The bed sank, and a wet nose nudged his cheek briefly. He felt disappointed that it wasn’t Heero. But Trowa would do, no matter what form.
The large golden retriever lay with a sigh against his side, and a golden head rested over his back. This wasn’t so bad...in a way, it was more comforting than any cure in the world. Quatre closed his eyes and waited to fall asleep. Trowa may be psychotic in some areas, but there were others, like this one, that were truly golden.
O0o0o0o0o0oO
Nearly two days later, Duo was curious about Trowa. Wufei and Heero had gone out, to walk the length of the road back to the main one that would take them to a nearby town for some more supplies, and weren’t expected to be back any time soon. So, he was left with both Quatre and Trowa; both of whom were boring him.
He sighed loudly, flopping back first onto the couch. They had finished their training hours earlier, and were simply relaxing around the house. Trowa had taken on cat form, sitting on the window sill, and Quatre had busied himself by sitting at the end of the sectional and lost himself in his own thoughts. The silence of the place was truly deafening, and Duo wasn’t one for silence.
He glanced from one to the other, giving a grim frown. Sitting up, he stared over at the tabby that was taking in the sights from outside, and shifted in his seat. He didn’t know Trowa very well–just knew that the boy was possibly psychopathic–he wasn’t very clear on the term. Sure, Trowa was annoying and quite hard at times, but he didn’t display any signs of psychoses. Duo just thought he was being a bully.
“So, Trowa,” he began crossing one ankle over the other. “Tell me about yourself, man. You’re the one I know least about.”
The tabby looked over at him with indifference, then began to bathe himself.
“That’s disgusting, man. C’mon! Just talk to me!” Duo whined, slouching his shoulders. “I’m so frickin’ bored...with no television up in this joint, it’s like–there’s nothing to do!”
The tabby’s ears flattened, but rose again.
“And Quat doesn’t talk much–and probably what I’d learn about him wouldn’t be anything good,” Duo added, looking over at the blond. Quatre looked at him blankly, blinking away his thoughts at the sound of his name. “Hey, just kidding, man. Nothing bad on you.”
“Why would I want to share who I am with you, Duo?” Trowa asked, shifting form, resuming human form. “You wouldn’t be able to handle what I am.”
“Ah, shit,” Duo crowed. “You’re nothing but a bully, man! I doubt you got shit on you like the rest of us... c’mon. Sit down.”
“You wanna know who I am, Duo?” Trowa asked, blinking. He moved away from the window, pining Duo with a sort of cold stare that had the boy stilling with some uncertainty. “You really want to know what I am?”
“Well...uh...you can start at the beginning, I guess,” Duo muttered, glancing briefly at Quatre. “I mean, we got all day, y’know? We can just...shoot the shit.”
“You wanna shoot the shit with me, Duo? Fine. Fine, I’ll let you in, I suppose. Just for a moment or two. Considering you amuse me.”
Duo gave a weak chuckle, but paused as Trowa stalked over, looming over him with a sort of threatening air. Giving an uncomfortable shift on his seat, Duo tried to relax himself, staring up at the older boy with unease. He glanced over at Quatre, who was regarding the entire scene as something of interest, then glanced back up at Trowa.
“Here’s what you need to know about me, Duo,” Trowa began, lowering his voice to something sinister. “When I was ten years old, my wonderfully lovely neighbor tried forcing me to give him head. I didn’t agree to the idea, so I bit his dick off. I still remember what that tasted like–blood, muscle, fluid...I remember spitting that shit out of my mouth, almost suffocated by the blood that was coming out of his body. He screamed real loud, then, Duo. Almost like a girl. And you know what? I felt good about that shit, Duo. I liked making him scream like that. He deserved it for trying to make me do something I didn’t want to do. It was disgusting.”
Duo stared at him in horrified silence, unable to think of anything to say. As Trowa continued to speak, his voice just seemed to get even more sinister, more deadly. The smirk on his face told of something else as he leaned closer to Duo, invading his space and making the braided one squirm uncomfortably.
“The bastard used a rolling pin on me, then. Knocked me into a coma. The others said I wasn’t the same after that. That I grew some sort of personality disorder. But I was pissed at everyone. For letting that man do that to me. For the shit my mother did with my sister. For seeing things that I didn’t want to see. To have some bastard fucking ride my ass about being too skinny, about being too shy, about being too fuckin’ quiet about everything! Things just built and rolled and built–until I got too tired of it all. When I found myself shifting into animals–well. I found it convenient. I used that to my advantage. Took care of that problem right away.”
“You...killed them?”
“Every last one of them. Except for Catherine. You want to know why? Because it made me laugh to see and hear her screaming. She amused me. That’s why she lived.”
Duo stared, unblinking, into Trowa’s face, unable to move or even take a deep breath. The horror he felt upon seeing the boy’s indifferent expression as he spoke of these abhorrences was enough to render him paralyzed. While he wanted to chalk up Trowa’s family’s death as something they deserved, he could just tell that this wasn’t the end of Trowa’s story. He found himself recoiling with repugnance as Trowa continued.
“Living out on the streets, all by myself? Gave me some realization into what freedom I had. The freedom to pick on people. To torture little things. To take part in crime that society deems as evil, disgusting, horrific. No one could touch me. I could only touch them. They won’t hurt me, anymore. If I see something violent, it’s because of me. Not them. And you know what, Duo? You want to know why I can’t seem to find interest in men or women? Is because they don’t do it for me. You want to know what does?”
“No,” Duo answered truthfully, finding himself pressed tightly against the couch, unable to look away from those green eyes. They just seemed to fill with darkness the more Trowa spoke, and that crooked smile of his grew even more twisted. It seemed that the more Trowa spoke, the more Duo realized he didn’t know this man at all. He wasn’t a boy–he was a man. A deeply disturbed one, at that. Every one of his hairs were standing straight up, and he found himself wanting to teleport far away from him.
His skin tingled, his gut twisted nervously.
“The ones that can’t fight back. I like to hear them cry. I like to see them writhe in pain. I like being in control. I like being able to dominate them. I like to tear them apart. I like their blood on my hands, Duo. That’s why.”
Duo shuddered with revulsion, hearing himself breathe shakily as he tried to withdraw away from the softly speaking man. But Trowa continued to speak, pressing closer, his hands on either side of Duo’s head.
“I haven’t had my fix, Duo. That’s why I’m a little antsy. It’s been a long while since I had one. Crying, shaking, screaming–I like it when their muscles spasm, Duo. Clenching, twisting, gripping...the ultimate pleasure. And they can never tell on me. My secret will always be safe. You want to know me, Duo, you’ve got it. Do you feel good about what you found out?”
“God...you’re fucked up.”
“Yes...I am. I don’t deny it. They made me, Duo. And I destroyed them. I like my power. I like being able to have control. That’s why I take them.”
“You’re fucking sick!” Duo spat, shaking with barely controlled rage. “Children?”
Trowa tilted his head to the side, and gave him a softened expression. It was almost fond. Duo had to fight not to retch, his gut twisting violently. “I was a child when I was violated, Duo. Why not?”
“G-god–!”
“There isn’t a God, Duo! Get off your religious bar stool!”
“I–I can’t d-do this!” Duo gasped, hugging himself, trying not to touch the man that loomed over him. “Children! You fucked over children! How can you fucking live with yourself?”
“Easy, Duo. I told you why.” Trowa straightened away from the couch, brushing his hair from his face. “No one cares. I’ve never been caught. No one told me it was wrong. And even then, what’s going to stop me from doing it?”
“Y-you–! I–I can’t believe this! I–! I’m out of here!” Duo finally cried, rising from the couch, shoving Trowa aside, and racing outside. The door slammed shut behind him, the walls shaking with the impact.
Trowa chuckled lowly to himself, turning–and remembering he still had an audience. Quatre stared at him in silence, unable to take his eyes away from the green-eyed man.
Trowa gave a smirk, and crossed the distance between them, making himself as threatening as possible. He expected the blond to recoil as Duo had–to stare at him with disgust and fear–to tremble and shake with revulsion. But the blond simply stared at him in silence, almost unblinking.
“I could make exceptions, though,” Trowa began slowly, leaning over the boy. He invaded his space as he’d done with Duo, with hands on either side of Quatre’s head, and his face looming dangerously close. But the blond still didn’t move; he merely shifted his eyes upward, blinking in that slow way he had. “I could do you. You look like a child. The bony frame of a boy just starting out.”
“No,” Quatre said quietly, never looking away. “You can’t.”
“I could. I could take you right now. Violently. I’d make your ass bleed for days. Just like Yuy did.”
“No...you can’t.”
Trowa pushed away from him, giving an annoyed expression. “What makes you so sure? I could do it easily. You can’t fight back. You never do.”
Quatre shook his head slightly, and his lips twitched. Trowa saw this minute movement, and his eyes grew dark with anger, his jaw clenching. “You can’t, Trowa.”
Trowa reached down, gripping white blond strands within both hands, and savagely yanking Quatre off the couch. The blond gave a pained cry as Trowa did this, but didn’t bother fighting as he felt his jeans being manipulated and roughly pulled from his hips. He stared up silently at the green eyed boy, having never felt as safe as he did now. It gave him a great sense of relief and unfamiliar security as he realized Trowa’s dysfunction. When had he ever felt this safe?
Trowa fondled his sac roughly, and even yanked at his penis. But even as he did so, Quatre stared up at him and felt incredibly inviolable.
“You can’t do it, Trowa,” he said softly. “You don’t react to males. Nor females. You told Duo a lie.”
Trowa settled back on his heels, frowning at him. He stopped touching him, and simply scowled at him. Quatre wanted to laugh, to cry, to do something that would express his gratitude and security with this demented person. He had never felt this safe before! It didn’t matter why. It didn’t matter at all.
“I led him to believe what he wanted,” Trowa answered, rising from the prone boy’s form. “Get your pants back on. You’re disgusting. Whore.”
Quatre rose onto his elbows, watching as Trowa left the cabin. His shoulders shook, and his head bowed with reflection. Then, he shifted, pulling his pants and underwear back on. It didn’t matter that Trowa was unbalanced, that he felt no real emotion in matters–what mattered was that Quatre wouldn’t ever feel that sense of violation from him. And that’s what made him safe.