Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Razors on his Bathroom Floor ❯ His Home of Dreams ( Chapter 3 )

         &nb sp;               Sorry this took some time, I had a horrible vacation to go on *Shudders* thank god I’m home now. Hopefully quick updates, I’m finishing up chapter 8 now. All you reviewers and people that are reading and not reviewing: I love you all and besides the actual writing, you make my world go round ^_^             Disclaimer: Yadda Yadda I don’t own it….           &nbs p;            & nbsp;           &nbs p;            & nbsp;           &nbs p;    Razors on his Bathroom Floor: Chapter 3     They board their shuttle and find their seats. Duo waits for Heero to sit down but he remains still, he looks towards Duo as if he’s waiting. “Heero? Aren’t you going to sit down?” He seems unsure of how to ask this “Do you want the window seat?” Duo raises an eyebrow but shrugs and says, “Yeah sure.” He slides into the seat and Heero sits down beside him. Duo waits silently as people around them take their seats and finally as they begin to depart. He knows there are questions he wanted to ask Heero but now most of the words have run away. He turns to Heero “Hee..?” but he’s already fallen asleep. He stirs. “Get some rest Duo, you’ll need it.” And then he quiets, falling into a dream world that’s probably beautiful but plagued with demons that hide in the shade of apple tree’s and peer out to watch from inside rose bush’s. Duo closes his eyes and tries to do as Heero said, but then the anxiety kicks in. How will he face seeing everyone again? How are they going to act? How should he act? Are they going to treat him like glass and be cautions around him? His eyes twitch as the thoughts and scenarios and conversations run through his mind. Someone shakes his arm. “Duo?” “Heero?” “Are you ok? You were making sounds in your sleep.” When did I fall asleep he wonders. He looks up and Heero’s staring at him with that same intent, searching look. “Do you want to…talk about something? Can I do anything?” “No…What? Heero, why are you acting like this?” “Acting like what?” Heero appear to be genuinely confused and Duo can’t help but be shocked that Heero doesn’t seem to get it at all. “You keep treating me like I’m a child or something. Stop it!” Heero looks frustrated “You get angry when I act normal and you get angry when I’m nice to you. What do you want from me Duo?” “You aren’t acting normal! You haven’t acted normal the whole time we’ve been together. No ‘Duo no baka, idiot, or moron’ no dismissive grunts no death glares. You are not normal! Just different variations of weird! You’re either pushing me out of a souvenir shop or asking me if I’m ok and need to talk. Heero you hate talking. Even your sarcastic comments aren’t normal, just act like you did before!” Heero lowers his eyes “You know Duo maybe I’ve just changed a little bit more than you expected.” “Well…but…No! You’re still…” Suddenly he can’t remember any words from any language. He wishes he had a magical dictionary implanted in his brain that specialized in expressing his thoughts in comprehensible ways. Heero shakes his head at him “Fine just go back to sleep or whatever it is you want to do.” Is Heero hurt? Duo watches the side of Heero’s face, jaw clenching slightly, lips set in a hard line. Maybe Heero has changed and hasn’t been acting strangely. Maybe this really is his idea of being normal. Maybe Duo’s just looking too closely for things to attack Heero about. To take his anger out on. “Hey look, I’m sorry Heero. Maybe we’ve both changed so much we have to learn how to co-exist again.” Heero nods and doesn’t seem too angry because the jaw clenching ceases and his lips relax into a neutral position. A new more sad and pensive look has taken over his face. Duo tentatively puts a hand on his shoulder and says “Thanks for, you know, trying and all. It’s nice to know that someone cares enough about me to make sure I’m alright.” Heero tilts his head at him, questioning his sudden attitude change, but he says nothing. He merely nods and turns his head away and Duo hears his breathing slow and ease. He looks at the window, memories of a time before Heero and the others playing before his eyes as he gazes out into the depths of space. He closes his eyes and can feel the rush of piloting Deathsythe and the freedom he’d had tastes of. His own breathing deepens and he falls into a peaceful sleep. “We’re here.” Heero says as he nudges Duo’s shoulder. “You really were tired; you’ve been out for hours.” Heero muses and pushes some of Duo’s hair out of his eyes. Confusion erupts inside of Duo at the strangely intimate and nurturing gesture, but the only thought that enters his mind is ‘remember this is not the Heero you are accustomed to…This is a strange and partially alien Heero. Same basic design and model but with some tweaks to his nicer side.’   An hour later they’re in a car, racing down a highway, Heero steering calmly while Duo twists his hands around each other nervously. Duo begins to feel trapped in the small space of the car so he rolls down the window and lets the wind hit his face. It’s so loud the radio is drowned out and there’s only the muffled sound of a lead singer screaming his heart out. He’s suddenly aware that Heero is trying to tell him something. “Wait a second I can’t hear you!” He rolls the window back up and feels trapped again, but tries to sit still and focus on Heero’s words. “Wufei isn’t going to be with us for another few days. He wanted to be there but a mission came up, Preventers mission,” He says as if Duo might not know this, “he won’t be back for a little while.” Duo wonders if the relief is visible on his face. “Well that’ll give me some time to prepare for his wrath.” Heero smiles and shrugs “The best advice I can give is to sit back and look like you’re listening intently while tuning out anything that he probably doesn’t mean. Don’t take much he says personally there, it’s the anger talking.” They must really know each other well, the realization hits Duo again and he isn’t sure if it amazes or bothers him. ‘Am I going to be able to stand living with these two?’ He sighs and hopes for the best. “Don’t be nervous.” Duo opens his mouth to say something but Heero interrupts. “I mean if you are that is.” “Right.” “I mean it. If they…if anyone does anything that bothers you I’ll stop them.” What if the one posing the most threat is you? Duo’s mind snaps back. But he’s grateful to hear that someone is going to be trying to help him with that. Heero’s usually good about sensing when people—or maybe it’s just himself and sometimes the other pilots—are feeling bothered or upset even if he doesn’t know how to act himself sometimes. “I hope that they don’t treat me any differently. I want them to act like I’m still their friend, not someone who needs help. I’m not all that miserable, not all the time anyway. I’m still normal. I don’t want to be treated like a kid.” “You won’t be. Duo…we just couldn’t stand that we hadn’t made more of an effort to help you even though we knew things weren’t right. No one liked to see you suffer, but no one knew if you’d let them help.” And as Heero pauses after saying that Duo’s pretty sure they’re both wondering how come Heero was the one. “I don’t think you even realize how you came across to people when they visited you or vice versa. In fact, Trowa told me you wouldn’t even show him your apartment when he first went to see you.” Duo remembers that. It was back when he thought he was just living there temporarily until he got more money and found a better place. He hadn’t wanted Trowa to see the mess and judge him, but after awhile he stopped being worried and ashamed and didn’t give a shit who saw him and what was going on. “I really think you’re making too much of a big deal about this.” “You wouldn’t be saying that if you were found on the side of the road bleeding out your head and dying of overdose.” Heero replied. “You really think that’s the direction my life is headed in?” “It could be if everyone just abandoned you and stopped caring about you.” Duo contemplates this, would he be just as upset, if not more, if they all just forgot about him and went on with their own lives and each other and were happy without him? No. He doesn’t want that either. He just wants to skip ahead to a time where he can just be a regular part of their lives already and where he fits in and is treated like everyone else. He almost doesn’t realize his eyes have closed and that he just wants to fall asleep again. XXX “Home sweet home.” Heero says from beside him. Duo yawns and stretches in his seat. He looks out the window and at the charming house that Heero has parked in front of. His eyes begin to clear from sleep and he sees that it’s a rather nice place. It’s on the smaller side but not miniature and cottage like. If it were one of those things he would have to laugh out loud at the thought of Heero and Wufei staying there. Together. Alone. Duo’s mouth turns into a funny expression. “Quatre and Trowa stay with us a lot; they’re always coming through here. It’s more like 4 people sometimes than 2.” He scans Duo’s face “I…We didn’t pick the house out. It was Quatre who thought it would be perfect and he was the one who offered to pay. It suits my needs so I’m not one to complain.” He shrugs and seems to want some sort of approval or acknowledgement from Duo.  Duo feels a little left out but that’s silly he tells himself. He gives a Heero a small smile “Oh yeah. That’s nice.” “Here I’ll help you with your bags.” Heero is referring to the one bag that Duo brought with him. “It’s ok, I can get it. Really.” He adds as he sees Heero prepare to protest. He slings the bag over his shoulder and walks up onto the porch of the house; Heero unlocks and opens the door then steps aside for Duo, at the same time Duo pauses to allow Heero entrance. “Uh…” “Do you…” “No it’s fine.” God, this is another repeat of the damn shuttle, Duo thinks with some exasperation, but a feeling of warmth seeps through the exasperation and Duo’s confused as to what this means. He can’t understand Heero’s strange actions anymore; they don’t seem to hold the same logic that they used to. “Are you sure…Go ahead…” “Why is this causing so much confusion?” Duo asks. He’d be amused if this wasn’t so surreal and awkward. Heero Yuy is worrying about something so trivial like this. His whole face screams unease and confusion. He can’t wait to see how Heero and Wufei manage together. “I have no idea.” Heero says honestly and waves his hand for Duo to walk in. Duo’s tempted to put up a “polite” fight just to see Heero squirm. He still maintains his sense of humor, however offbeat and twisted it can be at times. He wants to conduct experiments with Heero as his test subject. He wants to know just what makes the Perfect Soldier tick now. But to make Heero’s life easier he obliges and walks into the house. His eyes wander all over the room, it’s a rather spacious living room with matching furniture (a couch, an arm chair and a love seat) that leads Duo to believe that Quatre’s spending and taste didn’t end with the house. It wasn’t un-suiting to Heero and Wufei though; it wasn’t feminine or too…bright and cheery. It just fit right. Almost too right. Things weren’t supposed to be so right. It makes Duo feel out of place and upset. “We left the designing to Quatre as well.” Heero mumbles, mistaking Duo’s silence for something more judgmental on his behalf. “It’s nice.” Duo assures. “I like the piano.” He points the large black Baby Grand piano that’s nestled in the back of the living room in front of a large, cheerful looking window. Heero grunts and turns away from Duo, facing the stairs. “Come on I’ll show you your room.” “…My room?” The reason for Duo’s displeasure seems to dawn on Heero “Ah…It’s the guest room I just wanted you to feel…welcome.” Duo glares at him “How long have you been planning this?” How long have you guys been discussing my fucking life? “Not very…Duo! Just…don’t get all crazy on me. Relax, we weren’t planning anything, we just wanted you to feel welcome if you did decide to come back with me. Ok?” Heero gives Duo that same scanning, searching look that makes Duo want to swat at his face crazily to make Heero stop. “Yeah it’s fine. Really fine. Great, thanks Heero.” Try. To. Show. Some. Gratitude. Duo! His mind growls at him with short demands. He vaguely remembers a time he told Heero to do the same thing. This Heero and that Heero are so alike but there’s something slightly different that just throws everything else off. Heero’s already started up the stairs and Duo’s a little bit glad he didn’t stand there and wait for him patiently. He follows Heero and looks around the hallway while Heero points out the rooms. There are 4 bedrooms and Duo is relieved that there is only one small—but cozy looking—bed in Heero’s. He would feel incredibly uncomfortable if he had to see the two go up to bed together or if he happened to walk by in the middle of the night and hear something intimate. He almost bursts out laughing at the thought of Heero and Wufei saying romantic and loving things to each other while lying in each others arms at night. Almost laughs but the cringe and twitch of jealously takes care of that problem. Quatre and Trowa he can handle, but if all of his fellow pilots were to pair off with anyone—especially each other—he thinks he would have to shove his head in the oven and his heart in a fucking blender. Don’t be a drama queen Duo, he tells himself, but it doesn’t dispel the anger. Wufei’s door is fully closed and Heero makes no move to open it, and Duo doesn’t ask. It’s always been Wufei’s way to maintain a high level of privacy and he gets ‘rather pissy’ as Duo used to tease, if anyone invades that privacy. “That’s Quatre and Trowa’s bedroom there,” The door to the room is open and crack and Heero opens it the rest of the way. If he thought any of the other rooms were obviously Quatre he was wrong, this room literally screamed his name. The light colors and walls of windows that made the room burst with light, the queen sized bed with the soft looking sheets (texture and color wise) and the many pillows, sat atop a lovely blue carpet which made the room a place you wanted to be. Quatre had that effect on people. He is not effeminate or anything of the sort, he just has an understanding about him weather it was the style of a room or the way to listen to your problems. Duo’s heart twists as he remembers how he’d treated him the last time he’d been with him. He wants to see his friend again and let him know that he isn’t angry with him and that he hadn’t done anything wrong, and that he knows Quatre was just trying to help and he was doing everything right it was just he who couldn’t deal with anything or do anything right. Not Quatre. Not anyone but him. But for now Duo just wants to sleep. His eyes are beginning to feel heavy and when Heero opens the door to his room—his room what a strange combination of words—the bed looks more welcoming than anything he’s seen in a long time. “Get some rest; I’ll prepare some food in about an hour just in case you get hungry or anything. You can just come down anytime and it’ll be there…Bye Duo.” “Bye ‘Ro.” Heero doesn’t leave right away though; he simply stands there watching Duo. It makes him feel uncomfortable. “Duo.” He says sharply as if he’s finally decided something and wants to get it over with. “I’m glad you came and I hope you stay for a while.” Duo pauses, unsure of how to respond to that. “Thanks Heero, I hope I do too.” Is that the truth? Duo thinks as he hears the words coming out of his mouth. “No one will hurt you or insult you Duo.” “Maybe not intentionally.” “Duo…I’m glad you came.” And abruptly he turns to leave. “You said that already…” Duo says to the silence. He said it twice. Heero said something…from the heart…twice. Duo thinks Heero is a compassionate caring friend and Duo is the one who can’t fucking deal with his emotional problems and nightmares and just get on with his life like the rest of them. He has to still be babied and his hand still needs to be held.  Duo’s definitely changed. If this had been before…during the war, in a safe house, sharing a room with Heero who was just a few feet away on another equally uncomfortable bed he would have lay awake pondering everything, but now he just shoves it from his mind, rolls over, and falls asleep.