Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Relena CAN'T Cook ❯ Chapter 1

Relena Can't Cook!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, even though I like to say I own Duo Maxwell! And yes, this is senseless Relena-bashing at it's finest, so please don't flame me too much about it!
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It was a normal day at the Peacecraft mansion. The birds were chirping and all of that other wonderful peace crap. Only one thing could possibly break the beautiful, serene peace surrounding the mansion. This thing could even take out the entire OZ force and most of the space colonies...Relena's cooking! It all started with breakfast...

Heero: *opening the door to his room, and standing there in Sailormoon boxers* What the hell happened in here? *walks into the black cloud of smoke that you could say was coming from the kitchen*
Duo: *also opens the door to his room, and stands in the hallway wearing boxers with SD Deathscythe Hells all over it* Holy shit! We're going to die!

Suddenly, a 2x4 (a piece of wood, not DuoxQuatre!) comes out of nowhere, and hits Duo in the head...

Duo: *dizzy* Arigatou...I needed that...*passes out*

All of a sudden, Heero sees Wufei hauling rear out of the kitchen, and watches as he trips over the semi-unconscious Duo.

Wufei: What the hell is Maxwell doing on the ground? Why does Yuy's weak onna insist on cooking?! She can't cook for shit! INJUSTICE!
Duo: *regains consciousness* Because she wanted to give her 'Hee-chan' some good home cooking, of you know what I mean, Wu-man...hehe...

Wonders never cease as a frying pan flies through the air to connect with Duo's head...

Duo: *again, dizzy* Ouch! Night night! *falls to the ground unconscious*
Heero: *glaring at the knocked out Duo* He deserved that one...

Heero walks into the still smoking kitchen to see Relena trying to put a fire out near the stove.

Relena: *turning to see Heero* Oh Heero-chan! I really tried hard to make you breakfast, but the food caught on fire somehow so I tried to put it out with paper towels--
Wufei: *after hearing that* Did I mention that Yuy's onna is also a fairly stupid one as--*is cutoff by another flying frying pan that connects with his head to knock him out*
Relena: *coughs* anyways...Then, that caught on fire, so I tried to put some ice on it, but the ice melted before it could do a thing. So THEN, I remembered that water puts out fire, and well...at least I can say the food's cooked all the way.

Relena hands Heero a piece of the half-soggy, half-burnt bacon and smiles. Heero just looks at the disgusting-looking food like it's toxic waste. (Well...it SHOULD be labeled that...) He glanced at his still smiling girlfriend, who was waiting for Heero's reaction to her food. Just so he wouldn't have to hear Relena's crying, which was MUCH MUCH MUCH worse than hearing Usagi from Sailormoon cry, he ate it. He munched on it at best as he could and nearly choked on the nasty tasting bacon while swallowing it. Heero had the "I'm going to puke in about ten seconds" look plastered on his face. Lo and behold, he did puke. Poor Heero was sick for an entire month after that, only because he was forced to eat Relena's homemade soup! (Good Lord, you don't want to know what was in it, trust me...)

To be continued? Maybe, it all depends on you, the reader...ja ne!
-ChibiChibi-chan