Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Relena CAN'T Cook ❯ Chapter 4

Relena Can't Cook! Part 4
Disclaimer: I don't own GW so stop calling me!
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Five days later, Quatre was released from the looney bin (don't ask why...) and was sent home, even though he still carried those ridiculous UFO dolls with him. Today was also Duo Maxwell's birthday! (Don't ask how he has a birthday, just play along...) On this special occasion, Relena decided to attempt to make the birthday cake. As much as Duo and Heero asked her not to...

Duo: Why of all days did Relena have to pick this time to try to make a cake? I would have been happier if Hilde did it! But no! Relena had to be Mrs. I'm Such A Good Cook! Which everyone, including Heero, knows she's not! I hate to know what she'll put into it...maybe some hot sauce or maybe some kitchen cleaner! YUCK! Why me?
Heero: *trying to watch the news* Will you shut the hell up, Duo? You're getting on my last nerve! Shouldn't you be acting a little more grown up anyways?
Duo: *looking at a porn magazine* I am....*drool*
Heero: *takes the magazine* I don't mean your dick! I mean your head!
Duo: Oh...ok...I'll try to act my age...as long as you get Relena never to cook again!
Heero: That maybe difficult...but I have my own ways...

A few minutes later, we see Heero on the floor of the kitchen, begging Relena to not cook...

Heero: *puppy dog look* Relena....please!
Relena: No Heero! I'm cooking whether you like it or not!
Heero: But Relena! Can't I cook for a change?
Relena: Aww...how cute! But Heero don't you remember the time you tried to cook a T.V. dinner? You didn't even follow the directions! You fried it with your Gundam's beam cannon!
Heero: Only because I didn't know how to operate the microwave at the time...
Relena: My answer is still no, Heero!
Heero: Oh well...I did try...

Meanwhile, the birthday boy sat in the living room watching TV (In case you were wondering, yeah, it was a porno.. X.x) when a familiar UFO Doll catches his eye...

UFO Duo: Hi DUO!
Duo: Uh...Hi...
UFO Duo: So today's your birthday?
Duo: Yes, it is....
UFO Duo: And how old are you today?
Duo: Uh...17...
UFO Duo: Really?
Duo: Uh Quatre, will you go away? Your really starting to scare me...
UFO Duo: My name isn't Quatre! I'm Duo!
Duo: Uh...no, I'm Duo!
UFO Duo: I'm Duo!
Duo: I'm Duo!
Quatre: Quit fighting!
Duo: The doll started it!
UFO Duo: I did not!
Duo: Did too!
UFO Duo: Did not!
Duo: Oh my god! I'm fighting with a UFO doll!

Back in the kitchen, Relena was attempting to bake a cake. It was the 13th cake she had burnt today and knew Duo wasn't going to eat it. Relena tried really hard not to bump into anything and have it fall into the cake mix. After her 22nd try, the cake finally came out right. Well, looked all right. Relena told the others of her accomplishment. Heero was surprised the cake wasn't burnt, but wondered what it tasted like. Relena put the candles on the cake and they began to sing Happy Birthday to Duo. After that, Duo blew out the candles and looked at the cake. Since it was his birthday, he had to cut the cake and serve everyone. Then, Heero and the other G-boys put in another little rule: The birthday boy has to eat the first slice of cake. Naturally, Duo didn't like that one, but went along with it. After Duo served everyone a piece, he stared at his slice. Shinigami decided to eat it since it looked very good. Unfortunately, the unfortunate pilot of Deathscythe Hell collapsed after eating it. Quatre called 911 and the ambulance appeared faster than you could say 'Trowa and Quatre are gay'!

Relena: Oh, I feel soooo bad for Duo! The poor boy didn't even get to open his presents!
Wufei: That's because your cooking nearly killed him! Do you expect Maxwell to magically be fine and open his presents? You stupid weak can't-cook-for-shit ONNA!
Relena: *starts to cry* Your soooo mean to me, Wufei! *cries some more*
Wufei: I was just telling you the truth, onna!
Heero: Oh god....
Trowa: What else could happen?

Hehehehe! Much more evil things Trowa! Much more evil things! I hope you enjoyed it! Review! REVIEW! REVIEW!
- ChibiChibi-chan