Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Rituals ❯ Part 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Standard disclaimer: I don't own gundam wing or any of its characters.

About OOC: Some people have said that Heero is OOC in this story and.. they are right, though I'm writing it and I'm afraid that he is going to remain that way because otherwise it won't fit for the story. I apologize, so if you really, really dislike OOCs, then please don't read. ^_^ Beside, I'm trying to keep from writing too stereotypical. *grin* Oh, and I've always believed that Heero has a rather dry sense of humor. Maybe it'll be visible in here.

About this chapter: I'm not sure what to make of this, more than it is very strange.

I'm so sorry if you're disappointed because of this part. ;_; I'm not happy with it.

And yes, more about the pilots' pasts are going to come up later. Just be patient, `kay?

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Rituals - Part 2 by Maaya

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I lay there, listening as he seemed to calm down before getting up, tumbling over his own bed, managing to make it out of the door, and close it behind him.

Then there was quiet again.

I finally let myself relax, but how it now was, I never drifted off to sleep. It was strange, because I did certainly need the rest after that early mission. Instead I got obsessed with waiting for Duo's return.

It was so quiet and dark in here that the air felt heavy and thick - too thick to breathe. It disgusted me how I thought like that, and it disgusted me that I waited for Duo's return. I don't really care, do I? My frustrating mind refused to answer that question.

Why did I wait for him? What was it about him that made me incapable of falling asleep in the middle of the night? Once again, my thought went back to that incident at the school. He had been quiet afterwards, and he had asked me to stay with him in a very, very small voice.

He had asked me to stay. Somehow, that felt strange. People don't want me to stay with them, and I don't want to stay with people - it's like an unspoken arrangement between me and the society. Even the other pilots seem uncomfortable around me, at least Quatre do.

Somewhere, deep inside, it felt. . . nice to be wanted by someone. And it felt nice to want to be with someone too. It felt nice to help someone and know that you were comforting in some way.

Comforting is a word I never thought I would use about myself.

Dr. J once said that I was like a dog, or rather a wolf, when I acted like that. Waiting for the return of the rest of the pack.

But I can't agree with him. I've never had a pack and have certainly not needed it before. I want to be alone. I just.. needed to know where things were.

However, my body refused to let me fall into the dark rest that sleep would give me. I lay in my bed for a while, staring up into the space of nothing, but no sound of careful footfalls ever reached me.

Maybe I should add that I couldn't hear any loud, unmindful stamps either.

It took a while until it began to bother me, fifteen minutes to be exact. Annoyed, I let five more minutes pass. When they were past, I sat up in the bed and decided to go and see where he was.

The carpet was too soft for me to feel with my soles of feet, I only felt the pressure of my own body weight on the floor. I have never thought about that fact before.

The soles of my feet are hardened from training - running and walking mostly. A hard layer of thick skin has been produced from it, probably not very unlike the kind that the Stone-Age people had a long time ago.

I avoided bumping into my bed, like Duo had with his own, and made it outside our room without causing any noise. The silence was still the reigning force, like a king over a country.

The house's construction was already memorized, but it wasn't needed as the lights in the bathroom were switched on, shining out in the hallway through the only slightly open door.

Carefully, I walked up to the door and peeked inside.

There, just inside the bathroom door he sat on the floor with his back turned towards me. His hair was untidy, with wisp of chestnut falling out from the now very loose braid which was missing its lace that was usually holding it together. For some reason I suspected that he didn't normally sleep with his hair braided and wondered if he had tonight just because he would be sharing room with me. Did he keep it in a braid when he shared room with Chang - Wufei too?

He was wearing a white tank top, but I could see how the muscles were touting under it as he worked with something I couldn't see, something that required a lot of strength since his arms were tense enough to make his bare shoulders tremble ever so slightly.

Suddenly, he seemed to realize that someone was standing behind him, because he stilled completely for a second before snapping his head around to see who intruded his privacy. I noticed how his hand went upwards in a defensive gesture.

For some reason, that motion made me pleased. It showed that he was trained correctly, that he had the instincts of a soldier he needed to survive. When

I saw him the first time, I couldn't really believe that he was a gundam pilot. He seemed much too usual - like a normal teenager, not at all like a gundam pilot. The only thing that made me believe that he really was what he claimed to be was that special glint of death and darkness in his eyes, - a glint of sarcasm and cynicism that showed how old he really was inside. Ancient, like all of us pilots.

Now I was met by those eyes, and the glint was stronger than I had ever seen before.

We stared at each other for a moment filled with surprise and wariness, until he broke the contact and turned around again. "Do you always observe other people in the bathroom?" His voice was a strange mix of sarcasm and stillness that fit well into the situation.

I knew that he wasn't expecting an answer so why bother to give him one?

When he had turned around, his own body had unconsciously scooted around and it gave me a clear view of what he was doing.

He was wrapping his knee.

It was almost in finishing stages, only a few inches were left of the white bandage he was using and the knee looked positively thicker, like if it was swollen and wrapped up in many layers at the same time. I could see that he was wrapping too hard though, but that wasn't my business.

"Well?" He startled me out my thoughts by saying. "Are you going to help me or not?"

I could either ignore him and walk away, or help him so we'd both get back to our room as soon as possible.

I decided to help him.

Sitting down beside him, I quietly grabbed what was left of the bandage and wrapped it around his knee before fastening it, looser than he had done with the rest, and it allowed the whole band to get looser and therefore simplify the blood circulation in his leg.

When I looked up again, I met his startled face and realized that he hadn't expected me to actually help him. His bangs and hairline was wet, so he had probably washed his face sometime earlier. Droplets fell from the hair and onto his cheeks.

"Don't do it too hard." I told him and stood up again. "It'll only worsen it."

"Oh. " He actually looked embarrassed, and his arm came up to scratch the back of his head in what seemed to be a nervous gesture. Suddenly, he stilled with a comical expression in his face. He moved his hand carefully over his hair and I was suddenly hit by the realization - he hadn't known what state his hair was in. The hand fell to the floor behind him as he tried to find the ending of the braid but couldn't. His hand returned with a handful of loose strands instead. "Damn."

"It must have come loose tonight." I heard myself saying and it was only then I understood what some people meant when they said that they wanted to hit themselves.

"Yeah." Duo paused. "Guess so." Then he looked at me, incredulous. "You were awake?"

I didn't answer but my silence seemed to confirm his fears anyway.

"Oh, sorry. . . I didn't mean to wake you up. Wufei never did so I hoped you wouldn't either. . ."

"I was already awake." I broke him off in mid-sentence. "You didn't wake me."

"Oh." He said again. "Oh."

I decided that it was time for me to go, and I turned around to do so, but didn't get far because he spoke up again.

"Hey."

I stopped and turned my head around enough to make me see him out of the corner of my eye.

"Can you.." His voice trailed off and I saw dimly how he took a deep breath before finishing the sentence. "..help me up?"

My eyes widened and I turned around fully. He was slightly flushed in his face and refused to look at me as he babbled on and on without pausing, even to breath it seemed.

". . . cannot move the knee like usual right now s'I gonna have an `ard time gettin' up. . ."

He was suddenly using English again, but it was spoken in such a fast, drawling accent that I couldn't sort out the words properly. Idly, I wondered where he had gotten it from and in which L2-colony's you used it.

I walked up to where he was sitting on the floor, grabbed his arm and hauled him up from the concrete. He made the strangest `eeping' sound in surprise and I could tell that he wasn't prepared for me to help at all from the way he almost fell flat on his stomach. I let go of his arm and turned around to walk straight back to our shared room again.

Duo stayed though, and I could feel his stare that made the hairs on my neck raise as it hit my back.

Back in bed again, I thought about his behaviour this night. He had been the usual joker, but with something vulnerable under - something unusual to see in his eyes. I had only seen that.. emotion once, and it was that day in school with the teacher. `Maybe', I said to myself and rolled over to lay flat on my back, `maybe we are all hiding something from ourselves.'

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I dreamt a very strange dream that night. I can't remember why or what it was really about but I know for certain that it was something involving all the pilots. I can remember choking on something salty that I can guess was tears, but I was covered in it. It was like I was drowning in that salt liquid together with the others.

Then I saw a braid floating past and I grabbed it as hard as I could in an attempt to save my life. Then I saw a sword that I also grabbed - and a heart in stone and a lion.

That's all I can remember. I'm not sure if I grabbed the heart and the lion.

I didn't remember the dream when I woke up - in fact, I believed that I never dreamt at that time. But now, afterwards, some images came to mind - like from past lives I've had.

One thing that surprises me is how strange it was that I held on. I had wanted to die during that time - it was the mission that kept me alive. So why did I hold on to those symbols?

Was it an unconscious scream for friendship and closeness? That's what Duo thought when I told him about it once.

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I did soon realize that there was much to learn about each other. Everyone had their own habits, tastes, thoughts, and beliefs.

Breakfast for example.

I wake up seven o'clock every morning, brush my teeth and eat breakfast. But it seems like that was the simple version of doing it all. Duo was still asleep when I woke and he had curled into the smallest lump possible under the quilts. The only thing I could see of him that confirmed he really was Duo Maxwell, was the strands of hair the peeked out in angles all around him. I made it look like he was totally covered in chestnut hair under those sheets.

Thinking about how badly it must be for his knee to lie like that, I dressed and went downstairs, only to be met by the sight of both Wufei and Trowa already sitting by the table. The fact that they had been earlier than me bothered me for some reason, but I ignored that part of my mind and went towards a cupboard and took out a glass. None of them offered any good morning, and I didn't bother either, just turned silently towards the sink and filled the glass with water.

Since we hadn't had time to buy any supplies, the fridge was most probably empty and the fact that Trowa and Wufei wasn't and hadn't eaten anything (I assumed that they hadn't since I couldn't see any dishes) confirmed my thought.

I like to think that it didn't bother me to miss a meal, but it seemed like it did because I felt a strange tug in my stomach, as if it longed for something I hadn't given it today. I desperately wanted to go up to my room but another voice in my head asked why I couldn't stay now when Wufei and Trowa stayed. Maybe it was a strange kind of stubbornness I have never had before?

The result was that I slid down to sit on a chair, the one furthest away from Wufei and Trowa, and settled with thinking about.. various things.

A moment of quiet came, but the door to the kitchen was suddenly open, and then closed again with a loud slam after letting the disturber inside. Not too surprisingly, it was Duo.

Just inside the door, he stopped and stared at us with a strange expression visible in his face. I looked back and guessed that the others did the same.

Duo's hand came up and he waved cheerfully to us, though with the same unreadable expression. "Hi guys." He said and went towards the fridge. "Are you aware of that you are all sitting furthest away from each other as it is possible?"

I looked around at us three at the table and hated to admit that he was right, though some part of my brain had made it intentional. I guessed that the other guys thought the same.

Only Wufei seemed to bother with an answer. I think it was because he was the most comfortable around our loud Deathscythe pilot since they had shared a room in school. "Yes."

It wasn't much of an answer, I realized, but Duo seemed to settle with that, at least for the moment. He opened the fridge and then stopped as if he had been shot. It took a while, but then he turned to us.

"Well." He drawled. "Was it really that hard to open your mouths and tell me that there wasn't anything to eat?"

"No." I offered coldly.

"You'd find out anyway." Wufei added. He was keeping his cool, but I could at the same time recognize a faint tone of. . . amusement? in his voice.

Duo rolled his eyes and slid down on the chair next to mine, muttering something I didn't care to listen to.

Why did he sit down in the chair next to mine? Why not Wufei's or Trowa's? He sat close enough so I could feel his warmth radiate from his body in steady waves, and I realized how cold it really was in the safe-house.

Cold doesn't bother me like it would with a normal t-shirt. But then again, I'm not a normal person. My body's comfort is in second hand - the comfort of my mind is much more important. And having this vibrant boy beside me didn't give any kind of mental comfort. I could almost feel his energy hit me together with the warmth.

He's so confusing. This night, he was quiet, uncertain and seemed almost afraid. He had still joked, but with much more subtlety than usual. I liked that part of him because it was how I felt about myself when I was younger. Now, this morning, he was cool and joking. Cheerful. That part made *me* uncertain.

"What are you reading, Wufei?"

Duo's cheerfully asked question startled me out of my thoughts and I looked up. Maybe a little surprised, I could note that yes, Wufei had a large book lying on the table in front of him. Where did that come from? Had he been reading that when I entered? I couldn't remember.

The Chinese man's eyes remained on the page he was reading for a little longer before he looked up, annoyed. "What did you say?"

"What." The braided boy paused and gesticulated towards the thick volume, probably to add more effect to his words. "Are you reading?"

Wufei looked down in his book again as if he thought the question was too stupid to bother with an answer. He stroked a hand over his face for some reason I couldn't pin-point. Just as I thought Duo would ask again, he looked up.

"The Complete Works of William Shakespeare."

One chestnut eyebrow rose, questioning. "In Chinese?"

"English."

The brow was lowered again, maybe a little too much to be its normal state. "Then why in the name of God aren't we speaking English if we're all so darn good at it? It is an international language, you know."

There was a faint tone of frustration in his voice, very unlike the usual cheerful way he speaks in. Leaning forwards to rest his elbows against the table, I couldn't help but notice a large bruise, almost hidden under the thick braid that covered his neck. Where had he gotten that? Had it been there this night?

". . .and." He added suddenly. "I hate Japanese."

I looked at him in a way that some people might call staring. But it wasn't - because I don't stare.

Duo's Japanese isn't bad. In fact, it's better than both Quatre's and Trowa's, and he manages to avoid sounding like a gaijin most of the time. I think that the stay at the school helped quite a lot because the accent was much worse when we first met. But I didn't tell him that.

Once again, my thoughts were interrupted, this time by Quatre as the blonde entered the kitchen - still looking positively bed-ragged. He rubbed his red and puffy eyes and yawned widely at the same time. He was wearing a light blue flannel-shirt and trousers in the same material.

The first thought that went through my head was `this has to be a joke' and the second was `a gundam pilot can't look like that'.

By the look on their faces, I believe that's what the others around the table thought too.

Duo was the first one to recover. He jumped up. "Mornin' Q!"

"Good Morning, Duo." Quatre went over to the fridge, just like Duo had done some moments ago. He was stopped by the braided youth though.

"Don't bother - it's empty."

"Empty?" Quatre echoed, looking surprised and clueless at the same time.

"Yeah, empty like, there's no food."

"Oh." Pause. Then, "Is there a store somewhere around here?"

"Don't know."

"About a mile from here." I offered and they stared at me as if they hadn't spotted me until now. "There's a town a mile from here."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as we all looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Eventually, Duo broke it with a grin.

"I'm going to pick some things up from Deathscythe! You coming, Heero?"

"No." I said, wanting to avoid his company when he acted like the joker. If he had acted like he did tonight however, then I maybe would have followed.

But that's another story.

He looked disappointed for a moment but recovered quickly and grinned again, "Your loss." Then he walked, no - limped, out of the door.

It wasn't until he was gone that I realized that I had to check some things on Wing.

Damnit.

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TBC

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Sorry, sorry, sorry for the bad chapter! I hated it, but don't have time to rewrite it, so please be nice?