Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Scar Tissue ❯ The Party ( Chapter 6 )

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Part 6

Damn, the party. It was going to be torture. Briefly, I considered weaseling out of it by claiming sickness or something, but that idea was quickly dismissed as being way too suspicious. God, I shouldn't have come.

Well, there was no getting out of it, so I figured that I may as well hurry up and get ready so that I could go back downstairs before Hilde managed to confront me alone somewhere. I remembered that I needed a shower badly, so I stripped off my clothes, threw on my robe, grabbed my shampoo and conditioner out of my bag, and ducked down the hallway to the bathroom. Thankfully, I didn't run into anyone on the way.

Once I was safely in the bathroom, I let out a sigh of relief. I turned on the water in the shower and then turned around and took off the robe, catching sight of myself in the mirror. I wanted to avert my eyes, but my gaze was strangely transfixed for a few moments, staring with a combination of disgust and wonder at the roadmap of scars on my skin. No matter how many times I saw them, they still took my breath away. They still shocked me. I could not understand how I could have done such a thing to myself. Why I continued to do it. With slightly trembling fingers I removed the two bandages on my arms, grimacing at how awful my most recent cuts looked. Those on my right upper arm from a couple of days ago looked particularly bad, the gaps where the skin was cruelly parted filled with pus, the process of filling in the gaps with scar tissue well under way. God, they itched so badly. The cut on my left forearm, near the crook of my elbow, was much fresher, done only this morning. It was still red and sharply stinging, and frightening in its depth. It had bled a lot, the bandage caked through with dried blood.

Cursing myself under my breath, I turned away from the mirror and got in the shower. I hissed as the water made the cuts sting. I took my time showering, hoping the deliciously warm water would prove to be comforting and relaxing as well, but it was in vain. I was just too keyed up. Sighing, I finally turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, dreading facing my reflection in the mirror again. I was surprised to see that I'd been in the shower for as long as half an hour, so I hurried to finish getting ready, drying and braiding my hair, and carefully putting fresh bandages over my cuts before throwing my robe on and returning to my room to get dressed.

After I'd pulled on yet another pair of black pants paired with a long-sleeved black shirt with minister's collar, I stood indecisively in my room for a moment. I still didn't feel up to a party. They'd all expect me to be playing the clown big time. I eyed my bag that held my bottle of Ener-G pills, but I decided against taking any more. The effect from the ones I'd taken this morning may have worn off, but my heart was still giving a little lurch now and then. Oh, well. I figured I'd just have to rely on alcohol. A lot of alcohol. It was a good thing Quatre had bought so much for the party when we'd gone into town earlier. Sighing resolutely, I turned to leave the room.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I opened the door to find Hilde standing there, about to knock. She jumped as well.

"Oh! Duo, you startled me. Listen, I was hoping we could talk before -" she began, but I cut her off quickly, my mind racing.

"There's no time to talk now. There's a party to get to! Come on, you don't want them to start without us, do you?" With that, I brushed past her and hurried down the hall, not giving her a chance to respond. I heard her trailing behind me.

"But, Duo, this is important -" she started again, rushing to catch up to me. I didn't slow down, and I called back to her over my shoulder, cutting her off again.

"It can wait! Tonight's for having fun," I said with a joviality I didn't feel. I heard her exasperated sigh, and felt a pang of guilt, but what could I do? I couldn't talk to her now, if ever. She didn't say anything else, following me downstairs to the room where the party was being held.

As we entered the large wood-paneled room I noted with surprise that we were the last to get there. I must have taken even longer getting ready than I'd thought. The others were standing around in little groups, chatting. I took in the large, self-serve bar at the end of the room appreciatively. God, was I going to need it. When Relena saw us walk into the room she beamed.

"Oh, great! Everyone's finally here! Before things get underway, could I have everyone's attention for a moment? Noin and I have an, ah, announcement to make," she giggled. Silence fell over the room as everyone turned their attention on Relena. Noin went up to stand next to her, and I blinked in surprise when they linked hands.

"Noin and I are… engaged. We wanted all of you to be the first to know, since you mean so much to us." Relena announced, a gleam of happiness in her eyes.

The room was locked into stunned silence for a moment, but then exploded in a chorus of cheers and exclamations as people rushed forward to hug and congratulate the happy couple. I blinked back my own surprise as a smile crossed my face. So that's why they'd been giggling and carrying on like schoolgirls since they'd gotten here. I really was happy for them. They were obviously ecstatic together. My smile faded as I bit back a loneliness than ran so deep I swear it ached in my bones. Okay, time for a drink.

"This calls for a toast!" I yelled with forced cheerfulness, capturing everyone's attention. They all agreed, and we moved to the bar, and soon everyone was holding a glass of champagne. I raised my glass to the air. "To the happy couple, who so successfully hid their relationship from all of us, and managed to take us completely by surprise!" Everyone laughed. "May you have a long and happy life together!" With that, everyone took a sip from their glass. Except for me. I downed the whole glass in one shot, much to everyone's amusement. I resisted the sudden urge to toss the fluted glass over my shoulder, and instead I set it back down on the bar.

"Okay, let's get this party started! Where's the music?" I called, making my way over to the massive stereo system. I heard more chuckling behind me. Yup, no problem here. Just me being the crazy party animal everyone expected. I rifled through the stacks of CDs, looking for something that both matched my mood and would be appropriate for a party. Finally I shoved on an old 20th century band called Limp Bizkit. It was nice and loud for a party, but also appropriately angsty. After cranking the volume I returned to the bar.

I poured myself a shot of tequila and threw it back in one smooth motion, then I poured another and threw it back as well, though the first one was still burning a path down my throat. The plan was to start out fast and then coast through the rest of the evening. I had just poured another when Hilde suddenly appeared at my side. I eyed her warily before forcing a smile. She returned my gaze steadily before picking up a shot glass and indicating that I should fill it, so I did. We threw the shots back together. I let my eyes roam over the others. Most were still sipping on their first glass of champagne. Quatre, Trowa and Catherine were already on the dance floor, Quatre and Trowa moving closely together, with Catherine dancing with them, but a little ways apart, smiling at them indulgently. The rest of them had taken their drinks and gone over to the little sitting area to talk, though I supposed they were shouting to hear each other over the music. Finally, Hilde broke the silence between us as I poured my fourth shot.

"You aren't wasting anytime getting plastered are you?" she asked, even as she held out her glass for a refill. Again, we threw back the shots in unison. The tequila was filling my stomach with a decidedly pleasant warmth, and I could feel it starting to work it's magic on my brain. I shrugged at her.

"It's a party," I replied, grinning. "You're supposed to have fun." Her expression remained unreadable. Damn, she was making me uncomfortable. I absently rubbed the bandage on my arm through my shirt. It was itching again. Suppressing a scowl, I turned away from her and helped myself to yet another shot.

"Yeah, well the party's barely started and you've already had six drinks," she commented dryly. Ignoring her, I grabbed the vodka bottle and filled a tall glass halfway, and then topped it off with coke. I took a long drink from it, savouring the burning sensation down my throat, even as I winced from how strong it was. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth spreading through my body, the numbness beginning to envelop me as the alcohol hit my bloodstream and traveled to my brain. Oh yeah, getting absolutely wasted was exactly what I needed right now.

Suddenly I became aware that one of my favourite Limp Bizkit songs had come on, "Nookie." Taking my glass with me, I grabbed Hilde's hand and hauled her out to the dance floor. Grinning like a maniac, I began to dance wildly to the music, periodically taking drinks from my glass. I could see that Hilde was still concerned, but she began to loosen up a little, dancing with me, and even laughing when I would make a face at her, or when I would mimic being a guitar player. I even sang along to the chorus, eliciting laughs from everyone in the room. As drunk as I was getting already, it wasn't too hard to play the clown for them.

As the night progressed, I remained the life of the party, periodically singing along and carrying on like a madman. Most of the others were getting pretty tipsy, but I don't think any of them were even coming close to approaching the levels of drunkenness I was reaching. And I was still throwing them back. I kept the loud, angsty music going on the stereo, and I danced wildly, stopping only for trips to the bar to refresh my drink. None of the others had my stamina. They're was always at least a couple of them sitting off to the side, taking a rest. I kept playing the clown, randomly pulling other dancers into my embrace and grinding with them. I'll never forget how Heero blushed and pulled away when I pulled that with him! Mostly people took it in stride, laughing along. I was only doing what was expected, after all.

At one point, late in the night, I stumbled over to the bar for a tequila shot. I was so drunk that my whole body felt numb. The room was spinning crazily, and for the past little while it had become quite the struggle to remain upright while dancing. Hilde joined me at the bar, frowning.

"Hhhheyyy, Hilde," I slurred, "Having fun?" I mentally kicked myself. I couldn't believe how drunk I sounded! I was still in complete control, wasn't I? Her hand shot out and grabbed my hand, which had been about to lift the shot glass to my mouth.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" she asked. Anger flared in me and I scowled at her. What right did she have to say that? I jerked my hand away, nearly falling over in the process, and spilling half the tequila all over the front of my shirt.

"Fuck! Now look what you made me do!" I snapped, louder than I had intended and still slurring my words. Hilde reached forward to take hold of my arm.

"You're really drunk, Duo. Why don't I take you to your room and you can go to bed?" she suggested evenly. I jerked away from her again, and this time I did fall, smacking my head on the edge of the bar in the process. I saw stars, my vision swimming even more than it had been before. I lifted a hand to my temple and felt blood. I stared dazedly up at the ceiling, feeling incredibly disoriented.

"Duo! Are you okay?" Hilde exclaimed, crouching down beside me, her face a mask of concern. Suddenly I was surrounded by a sea of legs, as people gathered around to see if I was okay.

"Leave me alone! I'm fine!" I yelled, pushing her away and trying to get to my feet. Man, why was I yelling so loudly? My voice rang in my ears, intensifying the pain from the gash on my head. My legs were like rubber and I slumped back to the floor. Suddenly hands were all over me, trying to help me up. I pushed them away violently. "Christ, get the fuck away from me!" I was so angry. Why was I so angry? A moment ago I'd been having fun, the last one on the dance floor, still dancing wildly. Now I was sprawled unceremoniously on the floor, unable to get up, and filled with inexplicably rage. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Duo, we're just trying to help you get up," Wufei said, as if speaking to a particularly dense child. He reached for me again. I smacked his arm away wildly.

"I don't NEED your help! I don't need ANYBODY'S help! I'm perfectly fine!" I cringed, not only at the volume of my voice, but also at how badly the words were slurred. Christ, I could barely talk. I tried again to get to my feet unaided. My body was so numb, my limbs like rubber. I couldn't seem to get them to do what I wanted them to do. Somehow, I got to my feet, but was only managing to remain so by clinging onto the bar like it was a lifeboat. Not only was my head swimming, but now my stomach was turning over on itself, and I was feeling distinctly ill. More hands reached out to steady me. I spun around, nearly falling again, my back making painful contact with the edge of the bar. I flailed my arm wildly in the air, smacking the others away. "Leave me ALONE!" I bellowed.

They were all staring at me, like I had three heads or something. What was their problem? Okay, so I'd had a little too much to drink. What was the big deal? Okay, so maybe it was a lot too much. Still no reason to be looking at me like that. I had the sudden crazy thought that they could see right through me, right inside to the real me, and they were horrified and disgusted at what they saw. I could hear the cacophony of their voices as they spoke to me, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Condescending, placating voices, like they were speaking to a child. My face burned with embarrassment and anger.

"What the FUCK is everyone staring at? Get away from me!" I screamed. My eyes were burning with tears, and I didn't even know why. I launched myself away from the bar, intending to storm out of there, but I didn't make it. Didn't even make it one step, in fact, as my legs gave out from under me and I hit the floor on my hands and knees hard, sending bolts of pain up my numbed limbs. Suddenly, I was emptying the contents of my stomach all over the floor. I think I was still throwing up when I passed out.

TBC