Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Serendipity ❯ Promise ( Chapter 3 )

***

Relena felt as though she could practically skip down the hallway. It was the eve of Christmas eve, she was in Heero's apartment of all things, and there was a small child so very delighted to have her there. It had been so very long since she could remember the magic of Christmas. Wars and a painful growing up process had all but eliminated the joyous feelings she had once felt so close to in her early years. She exchanged pleasantries with her brother and his new wife, still Noin to most everyone. It was something she often joked about having her name officially changed to Noin and just be done with the whole thing. Relena no longer thought of her brother as Milliardo, as the name seemed to bring him pain, instead he was known as Zechs, ever hovering on that name. His official name was, of course, Peacecraft, because as he had explained to them, no matter what he had done, he wished to stay loyal at least to the memory of his parents. Zechs to the world, Milliardo Peacecraft on paper.

Tomorrow Heero promised Lauren the decoration of the tree, breaking down when she had given him a watery eyed look and said she remembered doing that with her mother. Relena had places she could be tonight, Christmas Eve, Christmas day... there was no end to the amount of invitations she'd received. And yet in the same way that Heero had agreed to go to a church, Relena had given into the girl's insistence that it would be much like a big slumber party. Wouldn't that be fun? She had never quite gotten what Heero thought of the whole affair. Instead he seemed like the backup plan maker, chauffeur to Lauren's wishes, and bag packer. It was really hard to imagine Heero playing second fiddle to anyone, but he and Lauren played well off of each other. They were both just stubborn enough to stand for what they wanted, and just soft enough to give in on the things that weren't large decisions with a soft "Please?" and pleading eyes. And when it came to the child, Heero had perfected the "But I care for you so much, do what I ask?" look to perfection. Lauren was female after all, and she couldn't resist that sorrowful gaze any more than anyone else. With an exasperated sigh on her part, he generally got his way.

Following with the set out plans, Relena had been placed in Lauren's room. This allowed Lauren the added joy of being able to try out her new sleeping bag, gladly giving up her bed in favor of having that excuse. They had laid it out together, Relena taking joy in helping get out Lauren's pajamas, and then telling her a story of Heero's bravery during the wars as she brushed the little girl's hair. It was more challenging than this, being a parent, she knew. Lauren was wonderful with her, especially since she liked Relena so much and wanted to be on her best behavior. There were up and down times, as she had seen in the past between Lauren and Heero. But some part of her wished nothing more than for Lauren to be hers, hers and Heero's. She had already lost a part of her heart to the child, and of course the child's unlikely father owned her love.

It was almost two in the morning now, and she had no idea why she couldn't sleep. Her robe was tied securely around her to cover up her pajamas, even though they were long and didn't show anything. It just made her feel more secure, especially since she wasn't in her own home. The likelihood of running into a wandering Heero at this time of the morning was unlikely, but she checked the belt of her robe again just to be sure.

She was about to tiptoe her way into the kitchen when she heard quiet muttering in the direction of Heero's room. Common sense told her to get a drink, turn tail and head to bed. As was per the norm with Heero, blind curiosity and need won out over any semblance of sense. Instead of quietly going to safe waters, she walked to his door and listened quietly, tamping down all guilty urges.

"No," he muttered, his deep voice rumbling. "It goes the opposite way. Who makes these things? Children's toys are not rocket science. I could build something smarter than this..."

Almost of their own volition her knuckles rapped lightly on the door. Instantly all was silent inside, and the light suddenly went out before the door opened. Only the glowing nightlight in the hall, a guide in case Lauren ever needed to see him out in the middle of the night, illuminated his face. He peered over her head down the hall to make sure she didn't have any other inhabitants with her, and then pulled her past him into the room and closed the door. After flipping on the light he leaned against the door in obvious relief.

"I thought you were Lauren," he said quite unnecessarily. After looking at the ground, which was littered with metal parts, it was quite obvious who he had been dreading. Two wheels leaned up against the wall, a handlebar teetering next to them.

"I see why," Relena said, smiling. "I wouldn't have bothered you, but I heard you talking and couldn't help myself... She's going to love this."

His lips quirked as he picked up the bike-assembling directions.

"Normally these things come pre-made, but I got the bright idea I could put it together myself and save some money. I've never seen so many arrows and weird numbering in my life. I could have built Zero from scratch with not much more trouble than this.

"It can be done," she assured. "Want some help?"

"Gladly." Understatement, his mind sneered. She was barefoot and in her little pajamas, offering to help put together a bike for a child that was not her own. It would allow him a good portion of time in which to observe her. Face it, he told himself, it's ogling and nothing else. Even if she'd just gotten out of bed, her hair just pleasantly mussed, and her face clear of any traces of makeup except for the gloss she wore round the clock to keep herself from going insane with dry lips. It only made them more tempting in his view, especially after tonight's episode in the kitchen.

Her knee was almost touching his as she leaned in and commented about this part going here. With a bit of wrangling, her giving instructions and he providing the brawn, it took far less time than he had expected, and he had had, he realized, fun while doing it. With Relena giggling when he missed a hole, or slipped the wrench off a screw, he found himself ready to smile. He had given her disapproving looks when she laughed at his misfortunes, which only made her laugh harder. He tightened the seat while she held it for stability, and he found himself staring at her small toes. Feet were not supposed to be dainty. They were for the purpose of keeping one ambulatory, but he had to admire them, and the curve of her ankle as it disappeared under her pant leg. Satisfied with the tightness at last, he rocked back on his heels and gave the new, purple bike a once over.

"It looks ride-able," he said, thanking his lucky stars that it did.

"It's a beautiful bike. You did a great job picking it out."

"She made it pretty easy, color-wise. I dread the day she asks to dye her hair purple."

Relena giggled, imagining the row that would occur if that ever happened. "You seem to be getting along well."

He shook his head, disbelief written on his features.

"I can hardly tell her no. We get into these massive arguing matches, something I don't think most people have with their 7 year-old."

"Are they arguments of anger?"

He snorted. "We take turns being rational and angry. Then she turns on the tears and..." he let his head drop back against the wall. "I want her to be happy. If she wanted to leave I think I would die. She has become my life. I don't know what to do."

Relena scooted closer to him, and he turned to her instinctively, curling into her comforting embrace. The day he and Lauren had been rescued he had the urge to bury his face in Relena's shoulder and not let go of her, and now he was able to do so. He maneuvered, pulling her onto his knees so he could hold her closer. Not even when Lauren cuddled with him did he feel this measure of release. It was as if the burdens upon his heart were lightened only by her presence. If he had been prone to tears, it would be now that he would cry out of sheer relief. He breathed in the smell of her shampoo and soap and clung to her as she stroked his hair.

"Not one person who sees you with her doubts how much you love her. She adores you, Heero, and fights are a normal part of growing up. She's becoming more independent, and pushing the limits of her age. She's smart, she knows how to get to you. But so are you. These things will happen over and over. But the important thing to know is that in the middle of it you both still love each other. You aren't giving in to her whims that would put her in danger, and most all the decisions you make that she fights for are things that aren't that important. If she wants a cookie after lunch, it's not going to be dangerous in the long run. You have opened up to everyone in the time Lauren has been with you, and she's become a lot happier since as well. You took a frightened little girl who had lost her mom, and gave her a home, and a father, and stability. She knows you're there for her. I'm so glad that it all worked out."

Her words left her suddenly, and so they sat there in the wee hours of the morning just holding each other. Finally he spoke.

"I don't think that I would have had the courage if it hadn't been for you. You didn't even say anything to me, and yet I could feel your support."

"I think you would have figured it out by yourself. It makes me so happy to see you together."

"Why do you care so much? Why..."

"I..." Would now really be the time to tell him that she loved him? He wanted to know why she cared... was any answer truly enough? "You make it easy to care. I..." His first snuffled breath was her first indication that he had fallen asleep. She couldn't sleep upright like this, was her first thought. Maybe... just for a while.

She woke up about an hour and a half later. Heero was now completely sprawled back against the wall and in her half awake shifting, she had moved to supporting herself on his chest with her hands laid out against him. Her back was already protesting, and she couldn't even imagine what Heero's must feel like with her extra weight bending him further.

He had the type of face that would only get more handsome with age, she thought. Even with the lines the worry of his life had etched into his face he was a beautiful man, even as the care his soul had taken made him more beautiful inside. Unable to help herself, she let her thumb trail along his lips, kissing his cheek in wonder of the man that he was.

"Keep doing that," he mumbled against her finger. She gasped and pulled back, feeling her cheeks heat up. He blinked sleepily at her. "It can't be morning already."

"No, it's not. You fell asleep while we were talking."

His lips quirked as he pushed himself upright with one hand, the other resting on her hip.

"Apparently." He scrubbed at his face. "Sorry, I don't generally fall asleep during my conversations."

She laughed. "It's all right. I understand."

He inclined his head back.

"How good of a pillow did I make?"

"Probably a better one if we had been laying down." She kicked herself mentally as soon as that left her mouth. Wouldn't want to get suggestive now would we? her mind asked her sarcastically.

"We could fix that," he said with wide, surprisingly innocent eyes.

"Another time," she giggled. Another kick.

It was time to leave, that was for sure.

"I'll let you get some sleep." She leaned toward him, expecting to give him a very chaste kiss on the cheek. Her breath caught as his fingers found her face and guided her instead to his lips. He found better purchase on her face and kissed her again, each kiss a little more desperate than the first until the sounds he made deep in his throat were almost begging her to kiss him back. With soft, almost tentative touches, and kisses nearing the brink of madness, it was as if the years of loneliness and longing were being erased. Finally he pulled away, licking his lips as he stared at her, his back finally finding the wall to keep him upright. Her mouth opened as if to say something, and then abruptly closed as she buried her face into his chest. She breathed him in, as if he would disappear in the next minute. In the years that she had spent falling ever deeper for him she had dreamed of his touch, his kiss. Her expectations had fallen so much shorter of reality. It nearly brought her to tears, this ache of unfulfilled love.

Heero stared at the bike in front of him, holding Relena close, knowing the last thing he really wanted was to let her go, knowing it was the only right thing to do. If he pushed it right now she might not leave this room tonight, even if she had spent part of it in no danger. He let his hand steal down her back, rubbing his cheek along her face. He had a daughter to think of now, and the smile on Relena's face echoed his thoughts as he helped her up. Before she could open the door he pulled her back for another kiss. Her eyelids fluttered softly as she looked up at him.

"Goodnight." His smile was wry.

She touched his face before turning.

"Goodnight."

When the door closed he leaned back against it, hearing her footsteps fade. Could he honestly do this? Raise a daughter, court Relena? Could he give her what she deserved? His smile was absent now, thinking of Relena. Could this be life... in all its glory?

***

Relena's day began quicker than she had hoped for. It felt like she'd just gotten to sleep... it was no revelation to her that she almost had in fact. The energy and ability that children had to get up at obscene hours with no qualms whatsoever was only one of the things she envied about the young. It wasn't as if she was so far removed from it... but there were times she swore she was fifty if she was a day. Right now she didn't feel old, she felt like a bear coming out of hybernation.

One eye peeked out at Lauren who was hopping from one foot to the other.

"Morning Relena!" she chirped.

Relena managed a grunt, and her hand snaked out to push the hair off of her face. Lauren began to look concerned at Relena's apparently lack of enthusiasm that a new day had come.

"Heero said we shouldn't wake you too early. Did we?"

The events, or rather, the "incidents," of the night before had Relena sitting up. Ten minutes later she entered the kitchen, dressed, hair brushed, but not quite there.

"Good morning," Heero began but realized Relena wasn't looking at him at all, rather at the coffee pot.

"Is that coffee?"

Quick and to the point, he thought in admiration.

"It could be."

She scowled at him. "I never took you for a sadistic man, Heero Yuy."

He shrugged and looked back to Lauren who was still pajama-clad.

"You need to get dressed if you want to go," he informed her. "Didn't we decide on the green overall set?"

"Yeah! I know where they are."

"Do you need any..."

"Nope! I'll be right back."

When Relena had successfully taken a sip of coffee and set it down to revel the bliss it was affording her, he saw his opportunity. One arm pulled her closer so she was cuddled against his shoulder, one of her arms going around his back out of dazed instinct.

When she had woke this morning it had been as if the kisses before had been a dream. Had she really fallen asleep on Heero's chest? And then he'd kissed her, very sure of himself, certainly not hesitantly as one might expect from someone nervous about it. Her stomach was tearing itself up inside and he seemed to be so collected. And now he was hugging her good morning in the middle of his kitchen as his breakfast cooked behind him. The world was bound and determined to mess with her mind, she figured. When he began to let her go she assumed that was the end, certainly a very pleasant one. Her face was already tipping back to look up at him and tell him good morning back so he didn't think of her as a louse, but she did not meet his eyes. It was his ear and hair she saw as now he kissed her cheek, instead of her kissing his, and in an easy move their noses slid together, and then their lips...

She tasted of coffee, was his first thought, and so must he. She was so open to his demonstration that there was not a bit of protest. That almost weirded him out. He expected her to step back and insist on knowing for what reason he held her in his kitchen and kissed her. It wasn't as if she wasn't naturally inquisitive and he knew that question would be put to him before long. Some deep and protected part of him shouted with the fact that she was enjoying it, that she wanted his affection as much as he wanted to give it to her, and that was enough for him. Why he felt the need to touch her, kiss her, open up to her as Lauren continually taught him how, was a mystery. There was basic lust, of course, because she was beautiful to him. But there were many beautiful women. None of them made him want to do the things to them that he wanted to do to Relena, none of them made him want to hold them, protect them, and make them never leave him. It was, perhaps, in his own reasoning, the closest he had come to admitting something deeper in his need of her. Need was simple, and it was scary, but it was safer than anything else right then.

He loved Lauren, he knew it without any doubt, and while he might not have told her so, he wanted to make it so clear in how he treated her. He would do anything for her, with certain limitations, even embarrass himself with things he would never do for another human being... except now possibly Relena. And that he would do uncomfortable things for Relena was only because of his love for Lauren. Lauren had taught him how to play, how to laugh, that human contact was a source of comfort, and she had taught him how to love a child. She was safe to love, she loved him unconditionally. His only fear with her was losing her, letting her down, and he had made a determination not to do so. Relena was a bit more complicated. To love Relena meant commitment, it meant compromise, and it carried the same fears that loving Lauren had. It was not so different, only the fear and distrust in himself had been brewing there longer, and it was taking him longer to overcome, even if he didn't know he was breaching walls he thought never to tackle.

"Well," Relena said blinking up at him with a smile. "Now good morning."

His eyes smiled at her as he hurriedly picked up his spoon to attend to breakfast. Relena had barely picked up her coffee cup when Lauren bounced in.

"Is breakfast ready?"

"Almost."

"It's oatmeal again."

"You know..."

"I know," Lauren scowled. "It's good for me."

But her face brightened when he handed her the cinnamon. Some things in life just needed a little incentive to make them better.

Heero broke one of the eggs he was planning on making with the oatmeal. Relena was chatting with Lauren and he was feeling a tad... distracted.

"Heero?" Relena asked, leaning on the counter.

"Hmm?"

"Are we eating those eggs?"

"Yeah... why?"

She pointed in his direction. "You just broke them into the garbage can."

He blinked down at the eggs swimming atop the can's contents, and then over at the warming frying pan.

"Toast," he decided suddenly.

Relena and Lauren giggled.

"While you laugh... what are we doing today?"

"Christmas tree," Lauren said, pouncing on that right away. "We have to get ornaments, and decorate the tree. And then go to Relena's party!"

Lauren had that one pegged, Relena mused. She chose this particular Christmas eve services for their briefness. All the meaning was there, but in a shorter package. To some though it was merely an excuse to hang around afterwards, eat the free food, and gossip as if it were New Year's eve instead. This would be her third attendance, and she was notorious for leaving as soon as was polite. Which meant 15 minutes of assorted goodies and drinks at other people's insistence, and 45 minutes of her greeting people and excusing herself as she made her way to the door. It was a virtual people ping-pong ball game with her being the ball and the other people, instead of giving her points, sapping her energy. She had an excuse this time though. It probably wouldn't help much, but there would be a child with her, and so she could sail through with a legitimate excuse. That hadn't crossed her mind when she'd first invited them. It had occurred to her that it would be nice to take someone along to an event she had already committed herself to.

"We have to take the truck to get the tree."

Lauren wrinkled her nose at this. "I don't like the truck. It smells like oil and gas," she explained to Relena. "But we did put an air freshener in it."

To this Heero smirked, "Now it should smell like vanilla and oil and gas."

***