Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Chaos ❯ confusion ( Chapter 1 )

'He's my savior, my light through the darkness. He breaks down my barriers, making me see the real-- forcing me to see the real. He strips me of all my masks, leaving me to stand raw and bleeding before him. He forces me to see me...'

Shattered Chaos

Chapter 1: Confusion

By CobaltPrincess (cobaltprincess@hotmail.com)

He's staring at me again. He always does that when he thinks I'm not looking. That I'm too involved in whatever I'm typing to notice him. But I do. He does it enough. He gets this intense look on his in his eye like he's trying to memorize everything I'm doing, how I looked at a certain moment.

I've often wondered why he does that, but I've never asked-- it'll ruin the great job of pretending I've been doing. I couldn't let the baka know that I actually pay attention to him, now could I? His stare is unnerving and his eyes are filled with an emotion that I can't name.

It's kind of hard to look into someone's eyes when you're supposed to be ignoring them. But I need to see what it is, so I turn to look at him. His eyes trace my face intently.

"Duo..." I say softly and he snaps back to the present. There's a faint blush staining his cheeks and I wonder why.

"Heero...hey..." he says a little warily, staring at his hands.

"I asked you to stop staring at me."

Duo raised his head a little "But I wasn't staring. And besides, you told me that a couple months ago and I haven't since then." he rambled

"Then what were you doing?"

"...Thinking." Was the short reply, "I didn't realize I was staring at you. I'm sorry." he said and left the room.

Now that was weird. He just lied to me. Again. He's been doing that a lot lately. For someone who goes around proclaiming not to lie, he sure does a lot of lying to me. What did he have to lie about anyway? Thinking about this is getting me nowhere...damn, I forgot to search his eyes. Well, there's always next time...better get back to work.

* * * * * *

I woke with a start. I noticed a presence above me. How the HELL did that happen?! I opened my eyes and I was face to face with a guilty looking Duo. I glared.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I demanded. He looked nervous and again his face was flushed. There was a moment or two of silence. "Well?"

"...I was just looking at you," he said uncertainly

"Why?"

"...You look very peaceful in your sleep, you know that?"

"I thought I told you to stop doing that."

"No, you didn't."

"What?" I growled

"You told me to stop staring at you...when you were awake. You said nothing about when you were sleeping. So I figured that it was ok because I was doing what you asked." Duo explained all in one breath.

I stared at him for a while trying to comprehend why he would possibly want to waste so much time staring at me. Finally I decided to ask him since no answers were forthcoming. I did not anticipate the answer I got. I was shocked. It was a simple enough answer, but I couldn't figure out why he would say that to me. One simple sentence had my mind reeling and I could not figure out why. If any other person said it, I would have shrugged it off. But it was him-- the answer that had my mind reeling?

"You're beautiful..."

He said it softly, looking at me as if I was some kind of coveted treasure, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Then he moved forward and kissed me. When he pulled away he gazed into my confused eyes and smiled. "Oyasumi..." he said and went to his bed and slept.

I laid back down in an attempt to sleep the rest of the night away, but sleep evaded me. I lay awake the rest of the night utterly confused-- more confused than I'd ever been. I did not know what to make of his actions; I didn't know what to make of how I was feeling. There was a fluttering in my stomach and a blush graced my face. How did this all happen because of him? Why is he so different?

I rolled over and looked at him. He was sprawled across his bed, his loose hair glinting in the moonlight, his face lax in sleep. Why does he invest so much energy in me? Kami-sama this is so frustrating! Why does he always confuse me? When I'm around him I'm so unsure of what I'm doing. How do you do this to me, Duo…?

Tbc...

This is a concept that came to me out of the blue. I don't really know what I want to do with this but we'll see. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reviewing ^.^