Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Moments ❯ Chapter 2

SHATTERED MOMENTS

PART TWO

* * *

AC 188.

The tension of war was clearly sensed in the air. The hanger was filled with sounds of tools, metals, heavy machinery and sorts. But it wasn't like they were going to war in a couple of hours. No, the war they will fight is a long time coming. The soldiers were not ready yet.

Nevertheless, the air in the hanger was tense, for the men and women working there knew they were doing something forbidden. Something that might cost them their lives if the Federation ever found out about them. Operation Meteor was on the way.

Through all of the organized chaos that went on inside the hanger, walked two figures. One was a middle-aged man, who walked with an air of authority around him. He was wearing a long white gown, a pair of glasses and had one metallic arm. Combined with the stern look on his face and his entire manner of moving, the man had somewhat of sinister look to him. Beside the man walked a little boy, no more than eight years old. The boy was holding the other man's hand as he looked around the hanger with his big blue eyes. His messy brown hair gave him an almost savage look, but his small face portrayed something much more noble than that. It seemed that the messy mane was a result of neglect and nothing more.

The man in the white gown stopped and the boy followed suit. As the man let go of the boy, the child immediately stood at attention. The man turned to look down at the boy. "Look around you, Kid." The man said, gesturing at the work being done around him, his voice filled with pride. "All of them are working together to achieve a single goal. Your goal. They all have faith in you, Kid. You are the one who's going to help them all. This hard work, is done for you, so you will save us all."

The kid only nodded slightly. His large expressive eyes looked around, drinking in their surroundings. He saw a lot of metal and electronic parts, heavy machinery and a whole lot of other stuff that looked highly sophisticated to him, but he had no idea what it was. He turned to the man. His little voice was barely be heard over the sounds of metal being forged: "What are they making?"

"Why, they're making your Gundam."

The kid looked at him, clearly puzzled. "But wha--"

"Doctor J!!!!" Someone called from behind.

Both the kid and the Doc turned. "What is it Thomson?" J asked sharply.

"We are having difficulties over in the LP-10 section. One of the technicians insists that the QRT connections will not hold the hand unit."

"But we've already made three of these connections!" The doctor called angrily. "We cannot afford to change it all now, where is that fool?!"

Thomson squirmed under the Doctor's gaze and only pointed in the right direction.

J turned to the boy. "You wait here, kid. I'll be right back."

The boy nodded an affirmative and returned to standing still.

Not far away from where the little boy was standing, another man was now working with the dense and heavy metal. He was crouching in front of some already built equipment, holding a folder in one hand, the other holding the pen he was writing with. The man, Steven Parker, stopped and looked up from his work, examining the half built soon-to-be foot of the Gundam. His face portrayed the pride he felt towards this machine, one he had a major roll in building. He looked around at all of his fellow men and women who are aiding in this historic project. He never felt more proud, nor important in his life.

Suddenly Steven's eyes fell on a figure that seemed a little out of place.

In the middle of all the dangerous construction work stood a little boy. He was standing perfectly still, his back turned to him, but Steven could see that his head was held high, probably looking in awe at the heavy machines that hung from the hanger's ceiling. Steven knew it was the look on the child's face, for he have seen the same look on the face of his own child whenever he saw any of his work. Of course, he couldn't possibly see this one, he thought sadly.

He left his folder, putting it aside, and looked at the small boy. He looked like a child who never expected to be picked up by his parents. A child who knew he was left there, abandoned and alone. Steven felt sorry for the child, wondering what the hell he was doing in such a place.

"Hey, kid!" He finally called.

The child slowly turned to look at him and Parker held his breath as his eyes met the ones of the child. He had an amazingly big, expressive cobalt eyes. One that bore holes into him right now. Steven swallowed hard and gestured the boy to come closer.

The child seemed to hesitate, looking around nervously, but then he slowly approached him.

Parker studied the boy as he stood still in front of him. Like he had guessed before, the boy was not much older than seven, maybe just turned eight. He had a little thin face, with a little pointed nose, one that looked cute in Parker's opinion. He had a small mouth, which was shut tightly into a thin line. By the looks of him, Steven guessed the boy had an Asian heritage. Probably Japanese. His face showed almost no emotion, but it was his eyes that told it all. Those large blue eyes were like storms, Steven thought. And he could tell that the boy was curious about what went on, as he looked at him with shimmering eyes.

Steven smiled. "What's your name?" He asked kindly.

The boy only shrugged.

"You don't have a name?" Parker asked with amusement.

The blue eyes just kept staring.

"Well, um, what does everybody call you?"

"Kid." The boy finally spoke.

"Kid? They call you Kid?!" Steven asked, surprise. "And you're okay with that?"

The boy now looked a bit uncomfortable, his hands fidgeting. Why did everybody keep asking him that?!

Parker took a moment to think, then handed his hand to the boy. "My name is Steven Parker, but everybody call me Steve."

The boy's eyes moved down from studying Steve's face, to studying Steve's hand. His own tiny hand reached slowly towards the callous hand that was held towards him. He hesitantly put his small palm in the other man's and Steve shook his hand slightly, feeling the boy tense. "You don't shake hands often, huh?" He asked with a warm smile.

The boy shook his head; his messy brown hair swinging from side to side, again something Steve found cute. He was about to ask the child another question when he heard the boy's small voice.

"What's that?" He asked shyly, pointing ahead at Steve's workstation.

"Huh? What's what?" Steve turned to look at what he was pointing at. "Oh! That's an electronic signal checker."

"No." The boy shook his head again, pointing more accurately. "That."

Steve's eyes widened as he realized what the boy was pointing at. It was a little golden rod. Well, not exactly a golden rod, it was more like a golden wrap. "It's a chocolate bar." Parker answered, leaning forward to retrieve the snack. "Don't you know what's a chocolate bar?" He handed the sweet to the child.

The boy shook his head again, looking mesmerized by the simple candy. His eyes danced as Steve opened the golden wrapping, exposing the sweet. Chocolate... Odin never gave him chocolate. Only stupid 'health food'!

"Here," He handed the chocolate to the child. "Have some."

The boy reached uncertainly for the sweet, then snatched it from Parker's hand. He brought the chocolate closer to his face, examining it.

Steve smiled. "It won't bite you, you bite it, see?" He broke a small piece from the candy and threw it into his mouth.

The child's eyes watched him as he chewed on the candy. Then he turned back to looking at the candy. He brought the treat closer to his small mouth and took a bite, chewing on it slowly.

Parker watched the boy, not sure what to think or feel about seeing an eight-year-old having his first piece of chocolate. And then the boy smiled and quickly took another bite from the sweet, chewing on it with great pleasure. And then he suddenly giggled.

Parker smiled broadly at the sound of his little childish laughter.

"It's sticky!" The boy called in pure enjoyment, taking another bite.

"So you like it?"

The boy quickly nodded, enjoying the sweet and creamy sensation in his mouth. He savored the taste, not ever wanting to finish this piece of candy.

Steve enjoyed watching the boy, happy for him. He turned to his small desk and took something out of the drawer. He handed it to the kid. "Here, have this. For later."

The boy, who was still enjoying his sweet, looked up at Steve, his eyes sparkling. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure. No big deal. My wife says I should go on a diet anyway."

The boy reached to take the candy, his eyes thanking Parker. Then he suddenly stopped, dropping his hand. "I don't think I'm allowed to have candy." He said sadly. Soldiers don't need any candy.

Parker frowned. What kind of poor child won't be allowed to have candy? "Well then," He said, trying to sound cheerful. "I'll save it for next time."

The boy studied him for a while, and then opened his mouth to speak.

"Come on Kid, we're leaving!!!" Doctor J's voice echoed through the hanger.

Kid flinched. "I have to go now." He said, looking hungrily at the treat.

Steve patted softly on Kid's back, feeling him tense at the touch. "Okay, I'll see ya later, Kid."

The boy only nodded slightly then turned to run in J's direction, before the old geezer will realize that he had been talking to someone.

* * *

It wasn't until another ten days had past when Steve saw the Kid again. He was just leaving J's office, after discussing some problems he had with the connections, and then he saw him. He was walking down the hall, after just exiting one of the many rooms in the complex. By the way he walked, Steve could tell that the Kid was exhausted. His head was hanging loosely down, his arms were like dead weight at his side and his footsteps were slow and heavy.

Parker looked at his watch, seeing the time was now Eleven Thirty pm. What was a little child doing up in this hour?

"Hello, Kid." He greeted warmly. "Long time no see."

"Huh?" The child's head lifted up and heavy eyelids struggled to remain open as he studied the man in front of him. He gasped as he realized who it was. He had almost forgotten about him. Almost. It wasn't often when one of the workers addressed him, and certainly not in the way Steve did. "Oh... um, hi Steve..." He mumbled, stifling a yawn and rubbing his eyes.

"What are you doing here in this hour?" Steve asked, noting the boy was having difficulties in staying awake.

The boy didn't answer. His eyes shut close and his head dropped down abruptly. He was falling asleep standing up!

"Hey, Kid!" Parker called worriedly, shaking the boy slightly.

Big blue eyes flipped open and his head jerked up. He looked around in confusion.

"Boy! What'd you do kid, run a marathon?!"

The boy just kept staring at him, his mind half asleep. He wasn't sure what a marathon was, but it had to be easier than J's test. His head really hurt from thinking, and he couldn't think of one part of his body that wasn't sore or very painful.

Kid gasped in surprise as Steve bent down and picked him up into his arms. He tried to pull away, but was way too tired to do anything. He surrendered to the warm arms that held him, resting his aching head on the man's broad shoulder.

"Where's your room?" Parker asked softly, while walking towards the elevator.

Where is his room? Kid thought, startled. Why would Odin ask him where was his room? Maybe Odin was tired too and forgot. He snuggled against him; vaguely surprised that he hasn't done it in a while. "Level two." He mumbled into Odin's neck, sounding already half asleep. "Room 247."

Steven nodded, and carried the sleeping boy all the way down to his room, smiling slightly as he felt the boy wrap his small arms around his neck. His little kid used to do that...

When he finally arrived to room 247 he found that no key was needed and that the room was open to everyone. He walked in, the little human bundle in his arms, and studied his surroundings.

The room was quite small, and simply furnished. There was a small bed, more like a bunk, in the corner of the room, opposite to the door. Next to it was a small nightstand. By that, close to the wall, was a little round table with two chairs, nothing that was small enough for the little child he was holding. At the opposite wall stood a small drawer-closet, and by it a door that probably led to the bathroom. The entire room was colored in gray\blue colors, like in a Navy ship. It didn't look anything like an eight-year-old's room should look like. There were no toys, no pictures; there wasn't even a window. Just cold, bear walls.

Parker walked in and gently placed the boy on his bed. The child stirred a little, but did not wake, when Parker covered him with a blanket.

He studied the small and innocent face of this little boy. He reminded him so much of his own child. He unconsciously reached his hand and caressed the boy's cheek. The boy's lips slightly parted and he sighed softly, smiling. Parker wondered if anyone had ever caressed that soft little cheek.

He stayed in the room for a long while, just watching the child. He could not believe that this little angel will be the one to pilot the machine he was building.

After meeting the boy for the first time, Parker asked around and found out all that was known about the boy. He was practically picked up from the street and brought to this deserted colony to begin his training to be a Gundam pilot. He had no known parents, no one knew his real name, and his age can only be guessed by his looks. It was known that he had spent a few years under the care of Odin Lowe, an assassin who was now dead. Parker assumed that Lowe had picked up the child at a very young age and trained him to use weaponry, probably as his assistant. He felt sorry for the child, having to go through such things at such a young age. And he was not happy at all, knowing the future that awaited this boy.

And then Parker came to a decision. No matter what, even after his job in supervising the construction will end, he will stay here. He will stay by the boy's side. No one really cared for this poor soul, and God help him if he won't either. No. He would be there for this boy. He had failed his own child, but he would not fail this one.

Hours later and Parker finally left the room. When Kid woke up, he was surprised to see a golden wrapped candy resting under his pillow.

* * *

AC 189.

A year had past since Parker and Kid met, and as the time went by, they grew even closer. Parker always had to fight Doctor J to allow him contact with Kid. The scientist did not approve of that, as he was trying to isolate the boy from any distractions. Parker argued that the boy was far too young for that, and that at least for now, he should have someone to take care of him. Steve had also argued that it is not enough to make Kid a soldier, they should also try and shape him into a normal human being, not a mere fighting machine. And so an agreement was made that until the boy was old enough, Parker was allowed to be with him.

As the weeks went by the training intensified and the boy worked hard for long hours, after which he had no strength left in him to talk or be with Parker. There was nothing Steve could do about it, except to try and appeal to J's human side, reminding him that Kid was after all just a small child, and could not handle all this pressure just yet. It usually didn't work, cause J used the arguments of 'being prepared for the future', 'war isn't pretty' and so forth. Being the higher power in the base, J usually had the last word in everything and therefore it was very hard for Steve win.

Nevertheless, Parker tried to help Kid in whatever he could, making sure he had all he needed. J didn't notice when the boy grew too big for his cloths and it was Steve who always brought him new ones.

Other than clothing he brought him books, which had really enchanted the young boy. He began to read them, despite of the fact that he was always tired from his training. He was shown new worlds and things he had never dreamed of. Parker enjoyed watching him read and ask for new books. For a person his age he read a lot of mature stories and seemed to understand them in a very mature way. Steve just hoped that J wouldn't find out about the books.

But as the days went by the tasks Kid was asked to fulfill got harder and harder. He was taught how to operate explosives and shoot several different types of guns. If he failed, he was disciplined, but if not, he was not rewarded. It was expected that he should always succeed. Parker always objected to Dr. J's methods of 'discipline', but he was never able to be around and stop it.

One evening Steven walked into Kid's room and found it dark and empty. It was odd, cause Kid usually waited for Steve to come to his room after the training was over for the day. Parker looked around and saw that a light was on in the bathroom. The door was closed so he knocked. "Kid, you in there?"

He wasn't sure, but he thought that he could hear the boy cry. "Kid?" He now called in worry. "Are you alright in there?"

He was answered by more sobs. Without hesitating he opened the door and marched in, stopping cold, eyes wide.

In front of him, standing on a small stool before the mirror, was Kid. He could see the boy's reflection in the mirror: his face were red, his right cheek swollen and tears flew down from his tearful eyes. Looking at the boy's hands, he saw that his left hand was hanging loosely down by his side, wrapped in a bandage. In his right hand Kid was holding a pair of scissors, his hand shaking as he reached up to cut the messy hair that always covered his face.

"Kid!" Steve called, skipping across the small space between them. "What are you doing?" He turned the sobbing boy around, seeing he had done a very poor job in trying to cut his hair.

"I couldn't see because of this!" The boy cried, pulling at his messy hair. "I couldn't see the target and I missed!" He pulled harder on his hair, as if trying to pull it out. "I blew up all the equipment and J got really mad!!" He lifted up his left arm to show Steve. "My hand is broken!" He kept crying, large pearly tears sliding down his firing cheeks.

Steve pulled the trembling boy closer to him, running his free hand in the messy brown mane.

"It hurts!" The boy called into the body that held him. "I don't want this stupid hair!"

Steve let out a choked laugh. "You don't have to cut it all off." He patted the thick hair again. "Just the part that is in the way." He placed two hands in either side of the boy's face and pulled his head up to look at him. "Will you let me cut your hair? I promise it won't bother you afterwards."

The boy nodded, handing the scissors to Steve.

After calming down the small child, he sat him down on one of the chairs in his room and did what he could to cut his hair so it will not bother the boy, nor look like a blind man had cut it.

When he was done, Kid climbed on the bed and folded his body into a tight ball, careful not to hurt his broken arm. Steve came to sit by him, covering him with a blanket. The boy looked up at him and Steve smiled a bit, running his fingers through Kid's now short hair. "You look just like him now." He mumbled to himself.

"Like who?"

Steve looked startled, as if he didn't mean to say it out loud. "My son, Damion."

"You have a son? I didn't know that."

Steve looked away, his face suddenly sad.

"Where is your son?" Kid asked carefully, sensing something is wrong.

"He's dead." Steve answered simply, still not looking at Kid.

The boy kept quiet, his own vocabulary failing him.

"He was just about your age when he died." Steve kept on talking, sounding far away.

"Did he die in the war?"

Steve turned to look at him, sadness in his eyes. He nodded slightly. "It was an accident." He spoke in a low and dark tone. "Federation troops mistook the shuttle he was on to a rebel's shuttle."

"They shot it down without asking who they really were?"

Steve laughed bitterly. "That's not how they work, Kid."

Kid flinched as memories of the L6 colony rushed back to him. "Is that why you want to fight against them?"

Steve looked down at him thoughtfully, and then sighed. "Yeah, that's one of my reasons."

They were both silent for a while, and Kid wasn't sure if it was the right time to speak. But something was bothering him. "Why was Damion all alone in the shuttle?"

Steve now looked away, ashamed. "I sent him away." He whispered.

Kid could tell he was crying, but trying to hide it. He waited for Steve to continue.

Steve took a deep breath, relaxing. "I wanted him to live on Earth, not the colonies. I wanted him to have a better life than I had."

"Is that a bad thing?" The boy asked innocently.

Steve was trying hard not to laugh at his little question. "I don't know, Kid." He looked down at the boy. "Is wanting someone you love to have a good life a bad thing?" He paused for a second, letting the question sink in. "Is sending away someone you love a good thing?" He turned his gaze away. "He didn't want to go."

Kid's eyes studied him for a long time. "But did you think you were doing the right thing?"

Steve turned to look at him, puzzled.

Kid sat up, looking him straight in the eye. "Did it feel right to send him away?"

Steve sighed, thinking it over. After a while he nodded. "Yes. I felt he should have a better chance in life than I got."

"Then you did okay."

Parker turned to look at him, shocked. "Wh- why do you say that?"

Kid sighed, shrugging. "If you did what your feelings told you, then you must have been right, ne?"

Steve just stared at him. "Who taught you that?" Certianly not J!

Kid smiled. "Odin told me to always live by my feelings. That's why I'm here, in the training."

Steve blinked. "You're here because you choose to be here?"

Kid nodded. "Why are you surprised?"

Steve looked away, shaking his head. "But you're so young..." He sighed, bowing his head. "I never asked Damion how he felt about going away."

Kid looked away, not wanting to say what he thought about it. It was bad. He thought about a way to comfort his friend. "I'm sure he knew you did it because you cared." He looked up at Steve again. "Before Odin died, he wanted me to go away, so I can live a better life. I was really mad at him at first, but now I know he wanted the best for me."

Steve looked startled, then his eyes softened. "He loved you, didn't he?" He had always assumed the boy had suffered under the care of the assassin, but the way Kid always spoke of Lowe, suggested otherwise.

Kid bowed his head sadly. "I- I think he did. He never said it." He reached his good arm to wipe the tears away. Good thing J wasn't here to see him cry. "I never told him either." He sniffed, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "I miss him... but I never said..."

Parker drew the boy closer to him, putting his arm around him. "He knew. Just like you know that he loved you." He kissed the boy's sweet hair. "I love you too." he put two fingers under the small chin, pulling Kid's head up to face him. He smiled. "Dearly."

Kid smiled back, looking thankfully at Steve. In his nine-years of life, no one had EVER told him that they loved him. It felt so good to hear it, not just knowing it. He hugged Steve tightly, snuggling against him. There was at least one person in the world that loved him. Someone who COULD love a soldier.

* * *

"There is only one thing I regret about this job." One of the technicians complained as he strapped Kid into the simulation chair.

"What's that Jack?" The other tech asked, while busying himself with the control panel.

The boy sitting in the chair looked up at the technician that was working around him. He was always fascinated by ordinary conversations. He was not allowed to talk with anyone (and vice a versa), so he always enjoyed listening when someone else spoke about anything besides training. Of course, J didn't allow the techs to speak in his presence, but they ignored the rule when the Doctor was not around. After all they are only human, the boy assumed.

"We don't get a Christmas bonus." Jack answered.

The other tech laughed. "Not to mention a health plan!"

"I'm serious, man." Jack snarled, strapping the boy harder into the chair. The child only stared at him with his big blue eyes. "I've got three kids waiting for me at home, expecting Santa to bring them the most awesome gifts. I just don't have the doe, ya' know."

"Yeah, I hear ya'." The other answered, approaching the chair. He knelt by the boy, opening a panel in the bottom part of the chair, between the child's legs. He pushed the small feet away as if they belonged to a rag doll and not a human child.

Kid moved his legs out of the way, trying to lean down, despite of the restrains, to see what was being done to the chair. He was always curious about things that had to do with buttons. He just wished he could press them too.

"So what did you buy them this year?" The tech called from his position down on the floor.

Jack sighed. "I haven't yet."

"Good God man! Not only are you working on Christmas Eve, you also didn't buy them anything?!"

"Kids have such fancy toys these days. Robotic dogs, talking and dancing dolls... I can't afford all that! Why do you think I'm here workling today?"

The other tech shrugged. "I'm sorry man, I know exactly what you're saying."

Jack sighed, returning most of his attention to strapping the boy. "When we were young there was none of that high-tech crap."

Kid gasped, looking wide-eyed at Jack. J didn't allow swearing.

But the techs ignored him. "Yeah, when I was their age I was satisfied with a simple car or a ball." The tech closed the panel and stood up in order to hook the boy into the chair.

As all sorts of wires were attached to his small body, Kid kept listening to the conversation.

"Times were so hard, my dad used to give me hand-made presents." Jack recalled.

The tech that was wiring the boy chuckled. "I would like to see the looks on your kid's face when he gets a gift you made. Better buy him the high-tech robot thing."

The two laughed and the boy frowned. What was so bad about making your own gift? Though he had only received one present in his life, he thought it was nicer to get something that was made by someone who loved you. Now he frowned at himself. That sounded like something Steve would say.

"But seriously, Jack. If you can't afford anything, just buy him a damn doll or something. A bear is nice."

"A bear!? Nobody plays with a teddy bear anymore, man!"

Kid felt tears sting his eyes. He missed his Yoshi... NO! He shook his head violently. Soldiers DON'T need bears!

"Okay, Kid." The tech said and stood up. "You're all ready. Good luck!"

The two left the room. The lights went out. The simulation began.

* * *

Five hours later and the nine-year-old was allowed to go and rest. He had the rest of the afternoon and evening off, as it was Christmas Eve. Whatever that means, Kid thought bitterly. He only had one Chirstmas in his life and he knew he will never have it again. Not without Linda. Not without Odin.

So after they released the restrains, took off all the wires and wiped away the blood that ran from his mouth, they sent Kid out, not seeing him struggle to walk straight.

He was dizzy and his head really hurt. It was hard to find the right button in the elevator and he wasn't sure that he pressed the right one anyway. He decided to press all the buttons and wait for the sign to show LEVEL 2. He leaned against the wall, wiping the sweat off his brow. After a while his feet ached and he slid down to sit on the floor.

Some minutes later he reached his room, collapsing on the bed.

Finally, rest. Silence... Sleep. . . .

KNOCK!! KNOCK!! KNOCK!!

Kid opened one eye, not wanting to move just yet. He moaned, turning his head away, wanting to go back to sleep.

KNOCK!! KNOCK!! KNOCK!!

The noise was very insistent and the boy buried his head under the pillow, wishing it would stop.

KNOCK!! KNOCK!! KNOCK!!

Silence. Finally. Kid prepaerd to sleep again. Then he heard the door slide open.

The boy tensed, clutching hard on to the pillow. Damn J for not giving him a lock! He hated the fact that just about anybody could walk into his room. Didn't he deserve a little privacy?! He was too tired to deal with more annoying tests and people right now!! Despite himself, the boy pushed his body up and looked at the door.

His mouth dropped open.

"Oh sorry, Kid! I didn't realize that you were asleep! It's still kinda early, donchya think?"

The boy only gaped at Steve, not sure what to think. Steve was standing in his room, holding a box in his hand. A box wrapped in a colorful paper. If he didn't know better, he would have thought it was a present.

"Had a hard day?" Steve continued. "Want me to come back later?"

The boy shook his head, sitting up straight, his eyes on the box.

"You can lie down if you want." Steve said, approaching the bed. He pulled a chair and sat by the small bed, the colorful box on his lap. He had to smile when he saw that the boy's eyes never left the package he was carrying. "You wanna know what it is?"

The boy nodded, his eyes finally looking up at Steve.

He handed him the box. "Well then, open it."

Small hands reached for the box and slowly picked it up. He placed the package on the bed in front of him, just staring.

"You have to open it to know what's inside." Steve remarked lightly. "You can't tell by glaring at it."

The boy smiled sheepishly and ran his fingers over the box. He took his time in opening it, enjoying the ripping sound the paper made. When he finally tore off all the wrapping he found a simple brown box. He'd seen these boxes all around the place Steve worked.

Steve looked at him anxiously as the boy opened the box. He moved the paper around the delicate item and picked it up.

Immediately his eyes widened and his face brightened with joy. It was the coolest thing he had ever seen!

"You like it?" Steve asked, relived after he saw that precious expression.

The boy quickly nodded, examining the shimmering object. He had seen something like it somewhere, maybe in all the pictures that were all around the hanger and J's office. It was some kind of aircraft, looking a lot like a bird.

His eyes studied it in fascination as he waved it up in the air, smiling as he watched the light play on the metallic surface.

"Did you make it, Steve?"

Steve nodded. "I made it from spare parts we use to build the miniature models." He shrugged. "Didn't have any money to buy something else. The design is similar to what we're actually building." He looked and saw the child examining the aircraft closely.

"Will I fly something like this?"

Steve smiled bitterly. "In time, yes."

The boy seemed to like the idea, as he began to play with his new, and only, toy.

"How do you want to name it?"

Kid stopped and looked at him. "Why does it have to have a name?"

Steve shrugged. "Everybody has to have a name, that's what makes us individuals. That's how we are recognized by others." He immediately berated himself for saying such a thing.

"I don't have a name." The boy remarked solemnly.

Steve sighed heavily, not knowing how to get out of this one. He looked down at the expectant blue eyes. "Well, how would you name yourself?"

The boy shrugged.

"You can't think of anything? Don't you have a name you remember someone calling you?"

"J calls me a weapon." The boy said bitterly. He sighed sadly, looking away. "Odin always called me Kid."

"Did you like that name?"

The boy shrugged again. "I don't mind. It's better than having no name." He said, his little fingers tracing the smooth surface of the aircraft. "When we were on missions he would call me in his name, Odin Junior."

"Would you like me to call you Odin?"

The boy seemed to think about it for a while, and then shook his head. "It won't be right to take his name."

Steve sighed. How can such a young soul say such a mature thing? "Sometimes people name their children after people that died."

"Why?"

"That's how they pay their respect to them. They honor their memory by it."

The boy seemed to ponder on this for a while.

"Just do what you feel is right." Steve finally said.

That made the boy look up at him in surprise. "He used to say such things."

"Odin?"

The boy nodded. "But I don't want his name. It doesn't feel right." He looked down at his toy. "I'll honor him by remembering him, but I can't take his name."

Steve kept silent, not knowing what to say next.

The boy lifted his toy once more, putting it against the light, watching its silhouette for a long while. "I'll call it... Wing."

Steve looked up at the boy then smiled. "That's a good name. Not very original, but good."

The boy smiled and continued playing.

After an hour or so Steve convinced him to go back to sleep. He fell asleep with the toy in his hands and a smile on his lips.

* * *

AC 190.

"What is this word?" Kid's little voice cut through the pleasant silence of his room.

"Try and read it." Was the answer.

Kid frowned at the answer. He was tired of getting these answers. He just wanted someone to help him once. He looked back at his book. It was a really long word. "Steve..."

Steve chuckled and approached the boy who sat on the bed. "Read it like you think it should be read."

Kid pouted, but obeyed. He looked at the book. "Tyri-nical-ne-ess." He stammered.

Steve chuckled. "Almost. It's Tyrannicalness."

Kid blinked. "What is that?"

"It comes from the word Tyranny. Do you know what that means?"

Kid shook his head.

"Well it is how you call a certain force that has power over people and it uses it in the wrong way. A single ruler who cares nothing for the people under his rule."

"So... tyrannicalness is doing something in that bad way."

Steve nodded.

"Is the Federation a tyrane?"

"A tyrant. And yes, in a way they are."

"That's why we fight them?"

Parker sensed another loud discussion with J if he'll answer this question, so he preferred to change the subject. "What book are you reading?"

Kid sighed, not happy about the sudden change in subject, but knew better than to press on. "Lord of the flies."

Steve blinked, not remembering giving the boy this particular book. Well, he might have not noticed it was in the pile of books he gave him. Either way, it wasn't something the boy should read. "I think you're a bit too young for this one, Kid." He reached for the book.

Kid brought the book protectively closer to his chest. "Why is that? I like it."

Steve paused, looking at the boy in awe. "What is it you like about it?"

The boy shrugged. "It's not as stupid as that other book, 'Coral Island'." He leafed through the book, reading some lines here and there. "And it explains about stuff."

"Explains about stuff?" Steve echoed teasingly.

Kid looked up at him, his eyes laughing as he realized that he did sound kind of dumb. Like a little boy. "About human nature. And about war. It's interesting."

Steve had to take a moment to digest all of what the little boy said. "Well, I read it when I was in high school, not when I was just ten years old." He laughed kindly, tapping on the boy's lap. "Just don't take it all too seriously. What the book says is the author's opinion. It's not necessarily true."

"It sounds true."

Steve sighed. "Well, yes, it is told in a very convincing way. Just wait a couple of more years before coming to a final conclusion, okay?"

Kid nodded, returning his gaze back to the book. "Do you agree with this book? Is mankind really evil?"

Steve sighed. "Philosophers are trying to answer this question for centuries."

"But what do you think? Are we all evil? Is it because we like war?"

"Who said that we like war?"

Kid shrugged. "If we didn't like fighting so much, we wouldn't have to fight all the time. We always fight, there is always some kind of war."

Steve looked down thoughtfully at the young boy.

"Or maybe we're just stupid." The boy continued. "We make mistakes, but we don't learn from them. We keep making the same mistakes over and over. We know what we do is wrong, but we keep on repeating the same errors." He looked down, running his small fingers over the book. "We're just stupid."

Steve looked away, thinking over about what the boy had said. Finally, he sighed. He knew it was not his place to have this discussion with the boy. He would be 'inteferring with the training'. "I would love to answer your questions, boy, you know I would, but-"

"It's okay." The boy cut in, shrugging. "I know how J gets. I don't want him to send you away." He looked up at Steve. "At least this way there's someone to answer my other questions."

Steve smiled kindly at the boy. "You're just full of this stuff, aren't you? Got another riddle for me?"

Kid smiled back, shaking his head.

"Then I got one for you." He smiled wickedly.

The boy looked up at him, eyes dancing. He loved Steve's riddles. They were always a challenge, and they were always funny in the end. And right now he REALLY needed something to laugh about.

Steve cleared his throat, earning the boy's full attention. "Okay then. Why is 6 afraid of 7?"

Kid frowned. Six afraid of seven? What the hell does that mean? He tried some weird calculations in his head, then some other tricks, but that didn't work either. Maybe Steve didn't mean the actual numbers, and the figures represented something else... No, that's not it either. He couldn't' think of anything suitable. The boy shrugged, giving up. "I dunno. Why is 6 afraid of 7?"

Steve grinned. "Because 7 8 9."

"Seven...eight...nine..?" His eyes widened and he began to chuckle. "I get it! Good one Steve!!" He chuckled again, then began to giggle, then laugh.

Steve looked down happily at the laughing boy. There was nothing more precious to him than Kid's little laughter. Being as raer and beautiful as pearls, it was the most magnificent thing he had ever heard since his boy died. Steve smiled, happy to be able to make the boy laugh.

* * *

"Chief-tech Mitchell said that his brother's wife is shooting out children like a TLL rifle." Kid's small voice came in from the shower. His head was suddenly peeking out of the bathroom's door. "Why is she shooting children?"

Parker had to hold himself from laughing. "I should tell the guys to watch what they're saying next to you."

Kid walked out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his slim waist. His little hands rested impatiently on his hips. He glared at Steve. "Why. Is. She. Shooting. Children?!!" He demanded.

Parker only laughed, which angered the boy even more.

"She's not shooting them, Kid. He didn't mean that literally."

"What did he mean?" The boy inquired, going back to the shower room to put on his cloths.

"He meant that she's giving birth to a lot of children."

"Why did he say that she's shooting them out?" Came his little curious voice again.

Steve felt himself go red. Kid was too young to know all this, but then again he was too young to know everything he already knew. "Do you know where children come form, Kid?" He called with amusement.

Kid skidded out of the shower; water dripping from his not yet dried hair. He looked at Steve in bafflement. He had never thought of that.

"You don't, do you? Oh boy..." He gestured the boy to come and sit by him on the bed. The boy did as asked, his big blue eyes looking up at Steve in curiosity.

Steve cleared his throat, looking around in embarrassment. "I never had to do the Bird And The Bees talk before." He mumbled, confusing the boy even more. Knowing Kid as he did, he knew that he would ask him questions. A LOT of questions. The boy was prone to asking questions. Never dumb questions. No, his inquires were always good and to the point. He was always curious and eager to learn. Steve was NOT looking forward to this.

"Well, um, Kid..." He began, looking down at the boy.

Kid smiled as he saw Steve go red. "You don't have to tell me if you are unable to."

Steve blinked. "What do you mean by 'unable to'?!"

"You're blushing. And you're stammering. Do you know where children come from?"

Steve burst out laughing. "Of course I do! I did tell you that I had a child, now didn't I?"

Kid crossed his arms, not amused. "So tell me where he came from."

One look at the little angry face (that was more like cute than intimadating) and Steve forgot all about his embarassment. So he told Kid, not being to graphic, but also not being too general. Suprisnigly enough, the boy listened in without asking any questions.

When he was done, he looked down at little Kid who was sitting frozen like a rock, gaping at him.

Steve smiled down at him.

"Is... is that where I came f-from too?"

"Yup. There are no excptions. Well, maybe when it comes to test-tube children."

Kid frowned, a funny picture in his head. He looked away from Steve. "Test... tubes..?"

Steve patted his back softly. "Some other time, prehaps."

"Does it hurt?" He asked, remembering Odin's lady friends. They used to call out a lot. Did Odin hurt them?

Steve shook his head, not wanting to get into too much detail about the actual process. "No. Not really."

"Will I have to do that?" He asked, terrffied by the thought.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want too."

Kid let his gaze fall down. "Don't lie."

Steve sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." He sighed again, putting his arm around the small body. "But when you'll be older, I promise you that you will have a choice."

Kid sighed, leaning his head on Steve's shoulder. He sure hoped so.

* * *

AC 191.

Kid looked around him, swallowing the lump in his throat. It was really dark where he was, he could barely see.

"Night vision." He whispered and his whole world was lit up in shades green. "Proceeding to point alpha." He said coldly, fastening the belt around his small waist, a belt hooked up with explosives.

He walked down an endless net of rooms and corridors, until he found a staircase. With his gun in his hands, he climbed up the stairs, remaining close to the wall, checking for any sign of an approaching enemy.

His steps were silent, eyes sharp, body tense.

He stopped as he reached the exit, looking out into an open courtyard, the center of the small base. He counted five guards on patrol, three walking on ground level, two up on the roof.

Point alpha was right across the courtyard.

He made sure his weapon was ready, the patrols are not facing him right now and then took off in a run across the yard.

His little feet carried him as fast as he could, streaking past the guard with no sound or effort. The man wasn't even looking.

He reached the other side of the court, standing close to the wall, concealing himself in the shadows. Staying tightly close to the wall, Kid proceed to the near by building.

He entered the building through a window, having to pass only a few weak alarm systems he had no problem to detect and disarm. He jumped into the dark corridor, and stopped to look around suspiciously. No cameras, no hidden weaponry, no nothing.

Something was not right. He reached a hand to change the settings in his night goggles and smiled to himself. Laser beams. Not too tricky to cross. He walked between the red beams, crouching or jumping above them. Some beams were really close to each other, making it impossible to walk between them, if you were a grown man. An eleven-year-old child had no problem doing so.

He reached point alpha, a computer control room, and unloaded the explosives from his belt. He planted them where he was instructed to and got up, ready to run off, then detonate.

That was an easy mission, he thought to himself as he went back to where he came from, to the pick up point. He smiled to himself. This soldier stuff is easy!

He ran back through the maze of rooms and corridors, looking for the underground shaft in which he came from. He was about to get in and escape when suddenly he heard a gun being cocked.

"Freeze, brat!"

Kid whirled around and found himself face to face with a barrel of a gun. His first instinct was to panic, bad experiences rushing back to him, but after two point three seconds he put himself back together, drawing out a gun. He aimed at the man's heart.

The man smirked, but did not move. "I don't think so, brat!" He yelled then grabbed the gun from the boy, throwing it away.

Kid's eyes widened as he saw the gun disappear into the darkness. He looked up at the man in fright, unable to move.

The man flung forward, reaching up to lift the boy by the back of his shirt.

"AHH!!" Kid called as the man threw him aside, his body crashing on the hard cold floor. He got up quickly, blood running down his nose. He stabled himself on his feet, looking around the room for any possible way for him to escape.

"Game over, Kid!" The soldier called mockingly. "You should have detonated the explosives. Now it's too late you see? Cause you're DEAD!"

The man fired.

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

"Get him out of the sim chair!"

"AHHHH! AHHHH!!!!"

Two techs rushed into the room, trying to get the kicking and screaming child out of the simulation chair.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Itai! ITAI!!!"

The boy did not cease his crying, sounding in deep pain. His arms flung wildly, trying to push back the techs.

They grabbed him hard, trying to restrain him.

"Yamero!! Yamero!!!!!!" He screamed hysterically, kicking one of the techs in the gut, then using two legs to push him away, kicking him in the chest.

Another tech came from behind him, removing the simulation helmet off his head.

"URGHHH!" The boy yelled as he was violently returned into reality. He blinked, the brightness of the room hurting his eyes. He looked down in shock at the man lying on the floor in front of him, twisting in pain.

He hurried to wipe away his tears, seeing blood cover his hand as well. His nose was bleeding. So were his lips, after he bit them in a fit of pain.

Was he alive? If he was bleeding then he must be alive, ne?

The boy shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself. He was alive...He was alive...
"Leave us."

Kid looked up as he heard the soldier's cold voice. No. It was J's voice.

The techs hurried to leave the room and only the doctor and the boy were left.

Kid stared at the doctor, eyes glazed, still trembling.

"You failed." J stated darkly.

Kid bowed his head. "I panicked." He said in shame.

"Indeed."

Kid jerked up from the chair, looking up angrily at J. "You didn't have to shoot me!"

J chuckled darkly. "And you think that they won't shoot you, boy?"

Kid bowed his head again, keeping silent. He reached a hand to wipe away the still flowing blood. His chest still hurt from where the bullet hit. No. There was no bullet, he reminded himself. It was all a simulation. It still hurt.

He looked up at the doctor. "Can I go now?"

The old man looked down at him with an unnerving look. "No." He let out sharply. "You will do it again."

Kid sighed. Of course. It was always 'do it again'. No matter how many times he bled, screamed, begged... It was always 'again'. But then again, he promised to always follow through. He will not be weak; he will not fail Linda by quitting.

"Ryoukai..." He mumbled, stumbling back to his chair. He put the helmet on, and prepared to go again. This time, he will not fail.

* * *

"Can you hand be the calculator blease?"

Steve frowned. "I thought you weren't supposed to use a calculator." He said worriedly as he handed the calculator to the boy.

Kid sniffed his nose, reaching for the small device. "I know." He said quietly. "But it's okay if I ombly use it to check the- the... ACHEW!" He sneezed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "The ambswers."

Steve shook his head in disapproval, handing the sick little boy a tissue.

Kid blew his nose and returned to his notebook. He frowned as he saw his calculations were wrong. "Kuso! I can't do ambyting right!" He punched the table angrily.

"Let me see it." Steve bowed his head over the book. It was no wonder the boy had it wrong. He was running a fever, could barely breathe through his stuffed nose and was a bit lightheaded from the pills he had given him. Steve could tell the boy had the flu, not that J cared for it, giving him his 'homework' as usual. Teaching an eleven-year-old boy High school math was bad enough, but to do it when he had the flu is even worse.

"Why won't you go and rest for a while?" Steve offered.

Kid shook his head, wiping the sweat off his brow. His hair was sticking to his forehead and it was damn annoying! He needed another haircut. He looked up at Steve. "I still habe a lot to do. J said he wambted to see it dombe this week."

"The whole seventy pages?!"

Kid nodded again, reaching back for his pen. "I habe target bractice toborrow and I'b scheduled to do sibulations ub umbtil Friday. I domb't habe amby other tibe to do it."

Steve sighed and leaned back in his chair. He watched the boy continue his work, struggling for a tiny bit of concentration. He smiled a bit as he saw the kid switching the pen from his right hand to his left hand, and continuing to write. The boy was a little genius, being able to use both hands at the same level. Too bad this wonderful talent and skill was used to create a weapon.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Steve looked down at his bipper, frowning. "I have to go, Kid. I'll be back tonight though, okay?"

Kid nodded, not even looking up from his book.

Steve walked to the door and stopped to take one last look at the boy. "Do you want me to bring you anything when I get back?"

Kid looked up at him, eyes glazed. He tried to comprehend what Steve had just asked, and then he sniffed his nose again. "Bring be bore of that ub... those mose drobs."

Steve nodded. "Okay. Anything else?"

Kid frowned. His throat really hurt too. But soldiers are supposed to ignore such things. He shrugged. "Whateber you wambt." He turned back to his notebook. He had no more time for distractions. J wanted the work done.

* * *

As evening fell, Steve returned to Kid's room. His heart clenched as he found the little boy sprawled over the table, his head resting between his arms, sleeping. The math book was lying open in front of him, the pen on the floor. When Steve approached the sleeping child he saw that he had done most of the exercises and had only five more pages to go. What a kid...

Steve put the stuff he was carrying on the table and then turned to pick up the boy.

"Nani..? Dare..?" The child mumbled, opening one eye to look around.

Steve smiled down at him. "Shh... Just me. Go back to sleep."

Kid didn't even bother to listen to the end of Steve's sentence as he snuggled against him, sleeping again.

Steve placed the child gently in his bed and covered him tightly. He put a hand on his forehead, feeling it burning. The boy was running a high fever again.

"I think you're pushing yourself too hard, Kid." Steve mumbled, walking over to the table. He picked up a bottle of pills and a bottle of water. He went back to sit by the boy. He nudged him slightly.

"Yabero..." The boy slurred in his sleep, pulling away from Steve's touch, curling deeper into the cover.

"Kid... Hey- Kid! Wake up for a minute will you?"

Kid sighed and opened his eyes. He looked up at Steve, blinking.

Steve handed him two pills and the bottle of water. "Drink it up and then you can go back to sleep."

"Ryoukai..." He murmured and did as told. The cold water was like heaven to his sore throat. He nearly drank the whole bottle before Steve stopped him.

"Relax now, okay? Did you have anything to drink today?"

Kid shook his head. He yawned and snuggled back into the covers. He closed his eyes, preparing to sleep.

Steve reached a hand to brush away the sweaty strings of hair that fell over Kid's face.

Kid moaned, reaching his own hand to rub his nose. "I domb't wambt to go to target bractice toborrow." He mumbled, half asleep. "I domb't feel so good..." He pulled the blanket closer to him, shivering. "Tell J I'b sick... Tell hib I domb't wambt to go..."

Steve caressed him softly, and then took off his jacket. He covered the boy with it; sorry he didn't bring another blanket for him. "Don't worry about it now, go to sleep."

"But he'll get bad at be..." The boy murmured, his eyes closed. "Soldiers aren't subbosed to be sick..."

Steve ran his hand through the sweaty hair, carassing the boy softly. "I'll talk to J. You just rest now."

"Ryoukai..." He mumbled, his body relaxing.

Steve watched over him until his fever broke, and then got up, sighing. It was time for another loud discussion with the Doc.

* * *

"No! No! NO!! Parker, I have warned you a THOUSAND times- do NOT interfere with the boy's training!"

"But he is sick, how can you expect him to go on like this?!"

"Outside the training, you can be with him if you want, but when it's time for him to work, I AM THE ONE INCHARGE!"

"You'll only end up having him dead! He is sick! Give him another day or two, that's all I'm asking." Steve knew there was no use to try and appeal to J's so called human side. He didn't care for the boy at all. He was just some war toy for the old man. A tool to execute his plans with. But Kid couldn't go on like this. Someone had to do something. Someone had to take care of the child.

Emotionless glasses looked up at him and J raised his metal hand up in the air, waving it angrily at Steve. "One cannot create a weapon if he does not forge it! He needs to learn how to ignore such weaknesses and carry out his duty."

"He's a child!"

"He's a soldier! A WEAPON!"

"How dare yo-"

"I've warned you not to get too attached to him. I warned you not to interfere, but you ignored it all, now I'm taking things into my own hands. You are not allowed to see the boy anymore, Parker. I'm sending you out of here. Better yet, I'm sending the whole project out of here."

Steven blinked, shocked. "You want us to take the whole work somewhere else? Where?!"

"A resource satellite, it's safer and it will keep you from putting stupid ideals into my weapon's head!"

"You... you can't do that! You have no right to-"

"Stop thinking about him as a child! He is NOT a child! And he is not YOUR child Parker! You and the rest of the team are out of here by next month. Is that clear?"

"You are a monster, J. A monster. And one day, you're gonna get what you deserve. And I hope I'll be there to watch it and smile down at you as you drop down and burn in HELL!" He stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

J just smiled darkly at his direction. "I may burn in hell, Parker, but you are definitely not going to be there to smile at me..."

* * *

AC 192.

Steve left without even saying goodbye. Kid didn't mind. Steve was obsolete. Soldiers don't need people to take care of them. They don't need people like Steve. People who care are obsolete. People who lie to you and leave you are not important. People who say they love you and leave you are nothing but evil. Kid could go on very well without all these people. He's better off alone. This way at least, no one will hurt him when they left. He will not let anyone close again, so they won't hurt him when they leave.

J said it was a good thing; cause soldiers don't need any friends. Friends are nothing but a distraction. The enemy will use them against you. Care for nothing and no one but the cause. The mission. The people behind the mission. The rest are obsolete.

Kid didn't need anyone. He could take care of himself. He's a big boy. No. He's a soldier. Soldiers don't need ANYBODY. J said so.

So as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Kid kept telling himself this. He didn't allow himself to think in any other way, then he will be sad. Soldiers are not supposed to be sad. They don't suppose to feel anything but the urge to fight. J said so.

He concentrated only on his training, his missions; there was nothing else to focus on. No more distractions. Just the missions. Just missions...

He didn't allow himself to think about the things he did or the things that happened to him. He didn't want to remember any of it, cause it will make him feel things. Weapons are not supposed to feel. J said so.

With each day that passed, Kid covered his heart with more and more protective layers. No one will hurt him again. He will not let ANYONE reach him. No one will touch his heart ever again. He will protect it from everyone. Even J didn't know this. He didn't know his weapon still had a heart. He didn't know that inside his weapon still stood little Kid, surrounded by heavy protecting walls. The soldier will protect Kid. The walls will not let anyone touch him, will not let anyone hurt him ever again. It was better this way. Kid didn't need to see all the bad things the war did. He didn't need to see all the things The Soldier did. Maybe one day, Kid can get out, if The Soldier will let him. Sometimes he would creep out, just for a little while, cause he missed the outside. The walls were getting thicker though. It was getting harder and harder to get out. The Soldier didn't let him out much.

Today Soldier was very tired, and so Kid found it easy to creep out of his prison. He walked heavily to his room, his entire body hurting. Every muscle sore and painful. His brain was pounding against his skull, trying to get out. He felt so miserable, so sick, he felt like dying.

He entered his room and dropped like dead weight on his bed. He curled up real tight, hugging his knees, wanting nothing but to sleep forever. But sleep will not reach him, no matter what. He tossed and turned in his bed, whimpering as sleep would not come. He wanted so bad to sleep! His head hurt... his whole body was on fire... his mind wanted rest. He shouldn't have taken those stimulants. Not that he had a choice; he would have never stayed up that long if he didn't take them. And he needed to stay up and alert or J would have gotten mad and-- and... Kid sighed, burying his face in his hands. He just wanted to sleep!

Hours passed by and sleep still avoided the boy. He turned on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't help it and he started to think. Thinking was bad. It would make you remember things. Make you feel things. Soldiers don't need to feel things. He shut his eyes tight, trying to keep his mind clear.

I have to go now, Kid.

Kid flinched as he heard Steve's voice in his head. He didn't remember him saying this.

Wh-why? I don't want you to leave, Steve...

I'm sorry, Kid. I have no choice. The entire project is moving out.

It's because of me isn't it? It's because I asked you to talk to J... I didn't really mean it; it was the fever talking...

It's not your fault, Kid, really. I knew this would happen sooner or later. I just wanted to see you one last time. I'm sorry I woke you up. You should rest now, you're very sick.

Steve, will I ever see you again? Will you come back?

I don't know, Kid. I can't promise you anything. But can you promise me something?

I can try.

What you always said, about living according to your emotions, never forget that, okay? Do as you were taught; always act by your feelings. You're a good Kid, they will guide you well. Can you promise me that?

Sure Steve.

And one more thing, Kid. You always asked me why we fight, and I was never able to answer that question. I'll tell you this though, no matter what J tells you, about the Federation being the ultimate evil, try to find out for yourself who is your real enemy. Despite what the Doc says. Not all targets deserve to die. There are all sorts of enemies. All sorts of people who will hurt you and try to kill you.

Are they my enemies?

I'm just saying that don't let them hurt you, okay? Don't let HIM hurt you.

Him?! I don't understand.

I have to go now, Kid. Go back to sleep, you'll need rest for tomorrow. Goodbye.

Kid gasped and bolted up, panting. How come he didn't remember this up until now? Was it the fever? He was really sick... But Steve did say goodbye. He did! And he was angry with him for nothing.

"I'm sorry, Steve..." Kid mumbled into the darkness. "I'll remember what you said. I promise."

* * *

Soldier attached the last explosive to the metal wall, then got up to his feet. He looked around, surveying his work. The corridor he was standing in was full with explosives, attached to the walls. It was the main corridor for the hanger that was used to build his Gundam. The Gundam was now completed so there was no need for this place. His mission was to destroy this small satellite, along with all the evidence of the rebel's work.

Piece of cake. It was just blowing stuff up. No problem.

Soldier allowed himself to feel satisfied with his work as he quickly ran out of the structure and towards his escape ship. It was one of his first real missions, the first time he's been out of the base in four years. Not that there was much to see on the road. Just cold, empty and dark space. But still, it felt good being out on the field for a change. Soldier knew he wasn't supposed to feel good, but he did. He couldn't help it, it was all Kid' fault anyway.

His small shuttle took off and he piloted it to a safe distance, looking down at the old piece of space junk. He smirked as his fingers closed around the trigger device. He sure didn't want to get caught in that blast.

He pushed the button.

The satellite went off in a fine display of fire works, washing the shuttle with bright orange light. He watched the tiny explosions for a while, enjoying the sight of the dancing flames. Shut up Kid!

He shook his head forcedly, and then looked up at the burning wreck.

"Ninmu kanryou." He let out in monotone, the shadows playing over his face.

* * *

"It's a fucking lie!"

"No! I know this for sure- he was in there!!"

"J wouldn't let ANYONE stay in there! He knew-"

"I'm telling you, the place was NOT empty!"

The shouts rang all around the hanger, where a crowd of technicians was standing around one of their own men.

"How many more people..?" One of the engineers asked, horrified.

"At least five."

"Five?! My God!!"

"No way!"

"Shit!"

An older man rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then looked up. "How do you know this Jack?"

Jack turned to the old tech. "I didn't see him on the shuttle when we evacuated. Archie said J sent him and some men in there for last minute data recovery."

"Fucking shit!" Some others called.

"Well, didn't he tell the, um, what's his name? The Kid?!" Another man asked.

Jack snorted. "Ha! J's little weapon? Like he would care, he just follows orders!"

At the same time, Kid was walking tiredly down the hall towards the elevator. He passed by the hanger, paying it little mind as usual. Ever since Steve left, he had nothing to look for in there. Once he used to come and hang out with Steve while he worked and Kid was on a break, but he hasn't done that in a LONG while.

A few shouts caught his attention. He paused to listen, putting a small hand on the giant doorframe to support his exhausted body.

"The little maniac knew that Park and the guys were still there?"

Angered whispers went through the small crowd.

"Who knows..." The old tech shrugged. "Maybe J didn't tell him."

"BULLSHIT!" A younger tech called. "J wouldn't let such a thing happen! Steve Parker was too important to be wasted like that!"

"IIYA!!!!!"

All eyes were suddenly turned to the little boy that dropped to his knees in the hanger's entrance.

Silence fell over the hanger.

"What are YOU doing here, BRAT?"

"Yeah, come to kill more of us?!"

"You little fucker! After all that Parker did for ya--"

"No... No!" Kid called, shaking his head forcedly, trying to stop his tears from flowing out of his eyes.

"Ha! Would you look at that!" One of the young engineers called mocked as the angry mob approached the boy. "The little weapon is crying!"

Kid looked up at the approaching men, eyes wide and tearful. "Who did I kill? Did I kill Steve? No...masaka... Masaka! MASAKA!!" He jumped up to his feet, fists clenched. He glared angrily at the men around him. "You're lying! There was no one in the base. NO ONE!!"

The young man looked down at him, hatred in his eyes. "Do you wanna know how many more people did you kill in there?" He asked harshly, pushing the boy. "Do ya!?"

Kid was pushed a few steps back, his back now pressed against the wall. He looked up at the angry young tech. "There... there was no one in the building..." He murmured, looking up tearfully at the man. "J said..."

The tech slapped him hard on the cheek, making Kid's head fly to the side, his other cheek hitting the wall hard.

Kid shut his eyes tight, his cheek throbbing in pain. Steve... no! Not Steve... He checked the building. J said that no one was there. J said so... He felt another blow to his face, but he didn't move. Pain like this had stopped bothering him years ago. But the pain in his heart... Oh Steve! What have I done!? Steve...

"Johnny! Leave the boy alone!"

"Stay out of it gramps! The little brat needs to learn a lesson!"

"Yeah! It might even be you next time!"

The angry mob closed around the little boy.

Kid didn't dare to move. He deserved what he was about to get. He just kept standing there, his back pressed against the wall, panting and trying to hold back the tears.

Then he felt the first blow to his stomach.

"You leave the lad alone!"

"Put-a-sock-in-it old man!"

Another blow, straight in the gut.

Kid's body stumbled forward, cringing at the force of the angry punch.

"You show him Johnny-boy!" The crowd cheered.

"So much for J's weapon!!"

Another fist collided with the boy's stomach. Then two more blows on his shoulders. Another kick, straight into the ribcage. Kid fell down to his knees, curling up in pain.

"Stop it John! John!!!" The old man cried, trying to reach the boy from within the crowd of people. He was pushed back or ignored as the young tech kept hitting and abusing the twelve-year-old boy.

"Where's your killer instincts now, boy?" John teased, serving another kick into the small body on the floor. "C'mon, weapon... fight me!"

The crowd cheered.

Kid looked up pleadingly at the man, his whole body pounding in pain. He was hugging his abdomen tightly, his eyes glazed, lips and nose bleeding.

Johnny put his fists up, ready for a match. "Show me what you got, killer-boy, I know you wanna!"

Kid blinked, his eyes glazed. He bowed his head. He couldn't fight him, he was on his side!

"C'MON BOY!" John yelled, kicking the boy's head a secnd time.

The boy flinched, squirmed and jerked as the blows kept on coming. He cringed at the pain caused by another kick to the gut.

"C'mon! FIGHT ME!"

"GO! GO! GO!" The techs cheered.

Kid bit down his lips, trying to hold back a cry of pain. How can he possibly fight them? They were on his side. They were not enemies. The Federation was! J said...

There are all sorts of enemies. All sorts of people who will hurt you and try to kill you. Don't let them hurt you...

Steve...

He muffled out another cry as another kick went his way. He closed his eyes tight, stopping the tears. He didn't know... He didn't mean to kill... OH GOD- STEVE!!

Another kick, hitting him straight in the chest.

He gasped, out of breath.

I'm sorry Steve, I'm so sorry. Don't be mad at me... please Steve... Yurushite kudasai (=Forgive me)Steve... Please...

A second kick went his way.

STEVE!!!!

Soldier's eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet, fists ready, avoiding the kick.

John smiled, beginning to round the boy, waiting for him to make the first move.

The crowd cheered.

Soldier launched in an attack, crying out in anger. He jumped up in the air and kicked the man straight in the chest.

John was pushed back a bit, but recovered quickly. "Not much without your precious bombs, now are you?"

"ARGHHH!!!!" Soldier yelled again, launching forward towards the tall man. He punched him in the gut, served a blow to his chest and then a high kick to his face.

John dropped down to the ground, blood running out of his nose.

"C'mon!"

"Get up man!"

"Show that little brat!"

"Go Johnny! GO!" The crowd continued cheering.

John pushed himself off the floor, wiping the blood off his broken nose. He launched at the boy. "Son-of-a-bi--URGHHH!!"

All stared in awe as the young man dropped to his knees, then collapsed on the floor, face down. They looked up from the prone body of their friend and onto the boy, who stood above John, panting. The boy used only one hand to swiftly hit the juncture between John's neck and shoulder, thus making the man collapse.

Soldier wiped the blood off his face with one quick move and spat out a broken tooth. He then looked up at the men that surrounded him, his eyes cold, face stern. He sent a challenging look to the shocked men, daring them to test him again.

The crowd slowly backed away, still staring.

Soldier snorted in disgust, then turned on his heels and left the hanger.

Minutes later and Soldier was in his room, collapsing on the bed. He curled up into a fetal position, hugging his pillow. Soldier retreated, and Kid was left alone to grieve. Kid buried his face in the pillow, and Kid cried.

Yurushite kudasai, Steve... Yurushi...

* * *

AC 193.

The tears Kid had cried that night were to be one of his last to be shed. Only Soldier remained after that night. Kid decided it was better off to stay behind the protecting walls, let Soldier handle things from now on. And so, Steve's death, no, more like Steve's murder, was the one to change Kid, in a way that none of the other tasks he was asked to fulfill had ever did. There was nothing left within him. He felt empty. Hollow. Just a shell of a once sweet little boy. There was no more room for Kid in his life. He was a soldier, nothing more. A weapon. A killing machine. A murderer.

No. More. Kid.

Or so he thought.

Soldier looked up at the mech that stood in front of him. It was impressive. Strong. Deadly. Soldier liked it.

"Impressed?" J's amused voice was heard from beside him.

Soldier turned to look at him, his face a stone mask. He nodded slightly. "Hn."

J smiled darkly as he began to walk towards the elevator that led to a bridge suspended by the large mecha. The thirteen-year-old followed him silently.

"You should start your training in it soon." The Doctor continued as he exited the elevator and walked down the bridge towards the cockpit opening. The boy trailed behind him. "It shouldn't be a problem. You've mastered all types of mobile suits in the simulations so far."

The boy stopped, standing still and looking up at the Gundam's face.

J turned to look down at his weapon. "It's a bit different than the Leo you piloted." He continued.

Soldier just stood still, looking up coldly at the mech.

J smiled to himself. He had done well with the boy. When the kid first arrived here he would flinch every time a Leo was mentioned. J knew it had to do with the attack on the L6 colony back in 85` and did everything to erase any fear from the boy. He smiled again as he saw the cold and calculated look in the boy's eyes. He had done very well indeed. This boy will be perfect. The Perfect Soldier. The Perfect Weapon.

He turned back to look at the Gundam. "Only two things left to do now." He continued. "We have to adjust the cockpit to your height and," He put a hand on the cold metal surface. "We need to give it a name."

Soldier turned to look at his mentor, his eyes gleaming like a knife's new blade. "Why does it need to have a name?" He asked in monotone.

J snorted. "Because it does. It's your mech, so how would you name it?"

"Why does it have to have a name?"

"Everybody has to have a name... Sometimes people name their children after people that died... They honor their memory by it."

Soldier frowned, then turned to look back at the mech. Steve helped building it. It was a part of Steve. Soldier couldn't care less for a name. But Kid... Kid would like it to be... "Wing."

"Wing?!" The doctor echoed, surprised.

Soldier turned to look at him coldly. "The Gundam is Wing." He repeated.

J smiled again. "Very well then. Wing it is. Gundam Wing." He turned back to examine the large Mobile Suit. "Such a practical boy you are..." He smirked. "Calling a flying machine Wing..." His smile spread. He had done well with the boy.

* * *

AC 194.

Kid ran down the colony's streets, enjoying the feeling of the wind caressing him as he ran. He ran as fast as he could, bouncing up and down a few obstacles and continuing to run. As he ran, Kid tilted back his head, closed his eyes and spread his arms up as if they were his wings. He smiled. It felt so good to run like that. It felt even better than flying. It felt like freedom.

It's been nearly six years since he had last been outside (unless you count the missions he had to do out in space, which was just as cold as the base). Just running in the open, enjoying the warm rays of light on his skin. It was better than the fluorescent lights at the training camp. He had almost forgot how it feels like to be washed by this artificial, yet warm light. Kid was in heaven.

He kept running down the streets, towards his target point. There was a small Federation base at this colony and Soldier was ordered to destroy it. It was one of Soldier's first REAL missions. Not that he was excited about it. Soldier wasn't excited about anything. But Kid was. Kid couldn't pass the opportunity to play out in the 'sun'.

That's why Kid froze, grinning, as his eyes caught the sight in front of him. There, behind a narrow alley, was a small, but yet beautiful, park. Kid looked up at it with shining eyes. So many colors... so much green and blue and yellow and red... Not the cold Navy colors of the base. And there was so much light and space to just run and play!

He smiled again and continued to run down the street, towards the park. There was a tall fence surrounding the park, but Kid had no problem jumping above it. Soldier noted that the park was close to the base and he should be careful, but Kid ignored him. Soldier can come out later. This was his time.

He kept running up a small hill, and when he reached the top he jumped up in the air, folded his body forward and rolled down the hill, laughing as the world preformed a merry dance around him.

He landed at the bottom of the hill, dizzy, but happy. He giggled again, then spread his arms and legs wide, waving his arms up and down against the soft grass. Kid took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. He missed doing such things.

Something penetrated his field of vision and Soldier protested, wanting to come out NOW! Kid ignored him and just stared up at the figure that stood above him. It was a little girl.

Soldier screamed inside him as Kid began to talk to the little girl and take great interest in her puppy, Mary. He calmed down a bit when the girl ran off, but was angry with Kid for taking the flower from her. Soldiers DON'T need flowers. Soldiers DON'T need friends!

Kid gave up eventually and let Soldier do his job. He had a base to infiltrate to and then... Kid sighed. He'll let Soldier do that part.

* * *

Soldier finished planting the last of the explosives and quickly got out of the base. He took out the detonation device out of his pocket and looked down at his hands. He smiled a bit. Kid still didn't let go of the flower the girl gave him. Kid had fun today, so maybe he will let him meet the girl again later. After all, even soldiers needed some fun time.

He pushed the button and watched with satisfaction as one by one the bombs exploded, leaving the base to burn in a loud and bright display of fireworks.

"Nimue karnyou." He let out and turned to leave.

That's when he heard another explosion nearby. That's when he turned and saw a Mobile Suit blow up and crash atop of another, causing a Domino reaction chain of falling Mobile Suits.

Kid screamed inside, cursing the Soldier for his miss-calculations. Soldier retreated quickly and Kid looked up in horror as one suit crashed into a nearby building. His eyes widened in shock and realization that there was nothing he could do. Nevertheless, Kid threw the trigger device aside and ran towards the building.

It's all your fault! Soldier called angrily. All your fault, for playing in the park! You got careless. You made me fail a mission! I failed because of you!

"NO!!!" Kid screamed, covering his face with two hands as more explosions ripped the building apart. Screams of terrified women and children were heard from the burning structure. Some people ran out of the building, some came running out from nearby buildings to offer help.

Soldier cursed himself. He knew that there is hardly any chance for survivors.

"It's all your fault, Kid! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Kid walked heavily out of his shuttle, little Mary in his hands. His eyes were still wide with shock, his whole body numb. He found the girl and her puppy in the building. They were both dead.

Dead!

He killed them! He killed all of the people in that building. He was a mass murderer. He was a monster. He killed Steve too. Odin died because he didn't save him. Linda died because she tried to save him and that girl. Mommy died too. It was his entire fault, he killed everybody. He didn't mean to, it was a mistake, honest. He didn't mean it...

A killer. He's a killer.

That is all he is.

"Hello, boy." J's voce greeted him. "I heard that there were some, um, complications, to your mission."

The boy looked up at him, his eyes a bit glazed. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He bowed his head, hugging Mary tightly. He closed his eyes as he felt tears threaten to come.

"What's this?" J asked, looking down at the dead little puppy.

"I-" Kid choked out, shaking his bowed head. "I-"

The Doctor frowned at the boy's state. He was not trained to react like that. He was trained to not react at all. Maybe he missed something. Maybe the boy still had some humanity left in him after all.

Kid tried to hold back the sobs, clutching onto the cold limp body that lay in his arms. "I-I k-killed..." He stammered. "Killed every-everybody. I-" His head jerked up, large, tearful blue eyes looking up at his mentor. He handed the puppy up to J. "I killed Mary... I killed Mary! And the girl! I killed her!!" He cried hysterically, looking up at the sinister Doctor with wild eyes.

All the techs in the room turned to watch the teen that stood by the Doc, holding up a dead puppy, crying. They were all surprised to see J's little weapon in such an emotional state.

"And Steve! I killed Steve!! And Linda and Odin... and mommy... EVERYBODY!!!!" He screamed, dropping down to his knees in front of J. He hugged Mary closely to his chest, burying his face in the soft white fur. "I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANYMORE!!!" He cried, dropping down to lie on the floor. He curled up into a little ball of torment and misery, the dead puppy close to him. "Please... please don't' make me...anymore... please... please... please..."

All stared in awe as the boy went into some sort of trance, trembling and mumbling this over and over as he hugged the dead animal. The sight was quite disturbing that some preferred to walk away from the tortured boy.

J looked down at his weapon, his eyes hidden behind the emotionless glasses as ever. He was scowling at the boy's behavior. At first he was shocked about this wild and extreme reaction, thinking the boy was just not used to failure. Now he realized it was so much more than this. The Kid was having a nervous breakdown. All of his suppressed feelings pouring out like a dam cracking open. His little weapon still had a heart. Still had a soul. This was not good.

"Get him up!" J commanded sharply.

A few men rushed to pick the crying boy up from the floor, separating him from the puppy's corpse.

"Yoshi!!!" The boy screamed in terror as he was raised up in the air and carried out of the room. "YOSHI! KOI YOSHI! KOIIIII!!!!" He shook his head hectically, crying out desperately for his friend, as he struggled against the strong arms that held him. "Yoooshiii... Yoshiii... Give him back, please give him back... please... please..." He sobbed and wept for the loss, kicking and screaming as they kept on carrying him away.

His cries and pleas haunted the building long after the boy was carried away into an isolated room.

* * *

"Initiating phase one of rehabilitation." The female computer voice echoed throughout the small control room.

"Proceed." J ordered coldly, looking out the window at fourteen-year-old boy that lay strapped to a large chair in the other room, his body covered with wires, a large helmet on his head, covering most of his face.

"Program initiated." The computer announced.

* * *

"What kind of a cold bastard am I anyway? I may be a killer, but I am still a human being." He marched towards the grieving boy, kneeling by his side. "Hey, kid." He smiled bitterly. "I just killed your mother."

Did he? Did Odin kill her? Why? Oh, Odin... That's okay. He forgave him. Just as long as he'll come back to him. Just come back... Please? How he missed him. His laugh, his touch, his smell, his love... NO!

SOLDIERS DON'T NEED LOVE.

People who say they love you just abandon you later. They use you, hurt you and then betray you.

"Lemme go!!!" He screamed, kicking and squirming in the man's hands.

Odin just stayed behind. He was letting the Bad Man take him away! "Odin!! ODIEEEEEN!!!" The boy screamed in complete panic as the Bad Man ran out of the apartment. "Tasukete kure! Tasukete kure!!! ODIIIIN!!!"

NO ONE CARES FOR YOU. YOU DON'T NEED THEM, THEY DON'T NEED YOU. THEY DON'T CARE; THEY WILL LEAVE YOU. THEY WILL BETRAY YOU. THEY'LL JUST ABANDON YOU.

"Linda!!" Kid called as he suddenly realized he was not in her hands. He saw her run towards a pile of debris. "Linda!!! Koi Linda-sama!! Koi!!!"

He was taken into the shelter, kicking and screaming. "Linda-sama!! Linda-sama!!!" The heavy doors closed.

Another blast.

"LINDA-SAMA!!!"

THEY'LL JUST BETRAY YOU.

"What the hell do you want from me?!!" Odin burst, getting up, pushing the chair back forcedly. "Do you have to keep bugging me like this?! Shut the fuck up already! I'm not your daddy! I don't have to put up with this shit!"

Kid held Yoshi tightly, trying to hold back the sobs.

"And what's with the freaking bear?! Can't you go anywhere without it?!" He launched forward, ripping the teddy out of the boy's grip. "This bear ain't gonna help ya kid!" And he ripped Yoshi's hands apart.

"YOSHI!!" The boy cried hysterically as Odin proceeded in tearing his only friend.

Odin threw the bear to the floor, stomping his foot on it. "You are alone in this world! You hear me? Alone! No more Yoshi, no more mommy, no Linda- no nothing!! Alone!"

YOU ARE BETTER OFF ALONE. THEY WILL ONLY BETRAY YOU. A SOLDIER DOESN'T NEED ANYONE BUT HIS WEAPON.

Kid whirled around, aiming his gun at Odin. "You let them in, you hiretsukau!" He shouted accusingly. "You let the Bad Man in!!"

He fired another shot, hitting the man straight in the shoulder.

"Why you little-" The man launched at the boy, his gun drawn.

"Put the gun down, Kid."

"KISAMAAAA!!!"

He didn't need Odin. He can protect himself. He didn't need to hear Odin say that...

"You'll turn my Kid into a housewife in the end."

Kid turned and saw Odin leaning casually on the kitchen door, arms folded across his chest. He smiled. Odin called him 'my Kid'. He never did that before. He turned back to his work, still smiling.

THERE IS NO LOVE FOR A SOLDIER.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME! YOU DIDN'T SAY IT!!! Why..?" He dropped to his knees, hugging himself tightly. "I didn't mean to be angry at you! I was bad... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Suki da... iiya... Ai shiteru Odin. AI SHITERU!!!"

Love. Soldiers don't need that. They shouldn't care for such things. They don't need anyone.

They don't need anyone? No one to love them and to kiss them and to give them presents?

"Here you go, Kid. Merry Christmas."

Kid looked up at her with shimmering eyes. "This is-- this is for me?" He asked, voice shaking with emotions.

"YOSHI!" He called out in surprise, looking up at the little brown teddy bear. "Ureshii!" He called happily, brining the bear close to him, hugging it tightly.

Kid jumped up and hugged Linda tightly. "Arigatou Linda-sama!" He kissed her cheek and hugged her again, Yoshi still in his hands. "Arigatou..."

NO!! SOLDIERS DON'T NEED BEARS!! THEY DON'T NEED BEARS!!!

The doctor bent down to pick up the gun, handing it to the boy as well. "Soldiers don't need bears." He repeated.

Kid looked at the two items offered to him: a gun and a bear. He studied them both for a long while, feeling the man's gaze at him.

He shivered and reached out a hand. He grabbed the gun, folding his little fingers around it. He looked sadly down at Yoshi. It was time to say goodbye. Soldiers don't need bears.

Yoshi... His Yoshi-- NO BEARS!!!!!!!!

Sayonara, Yoshi.

He didn't need that. He needed the missions. The fights. No matter how hard and painful, he always had to finish the mission.

Always accept the mission. Complete the mission... Always finish what you start...

"Whatever you start, you have to finish. It's important to always follow through."

"Why?"

Linda shrugged. "Otherwise, what kind of person are you? A quitter? A weak person? Not always do we get to do what we want. There are some things that simply must be done, and if we won't do them, who will? That's why it is important to always follow through, Kid. No matter what."

I promise, Linda-Sama. I promise.

"You didn't have to shoot me!"

J chuckled darkly. "And you think that they won't shoot you, boy?"

"Can I go now?"

The old man looked down at him with an unnerving look. "No." He let out sharply. "You will do it again."

Kid sighed. Of course. It was always 'do it again'. No matter how many times he bled, screamed, begged... It was always 'again'.

JUST MISSIONS. NOTHING BUT THE MISSIONS. MUSTN'T FAIL.

You mustn't fail or bad things will happen to you. Bad things...

"I blew up all the equipment and J got really mad!!" He lifted up his left arm to show Steve. "My hand is broken!"

Steve pulled the trembling boy closer to him, running his free hand in the messy brown mane.

"It hurts!"

But the missions, they make him kill people...

"NO!!!" Kid screamed, covering his face with two hands as more explosions ripped the building apart. Screams of terrified women and children were heard from the burning structure. Some people ran out of the building, some came running out from near by buildings to offer help.

"It's all your fault, Kid! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!"

All his fault... He killed... Mary and the girl... They died because of him...

He dropped to his knees, hugging himself tightly. "I didn't mean to... I was bad... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." He closed his eyes, tears dropping down to the carpeted floor. "Gomen ne, Odin... I didn't mean to be bad... Sumumasen... I didn't mean it..."

"You little fucker! After all that Parker did for ya--"

"No... No!" Kid called, shaking his head forcedly, trying to stop his tears from flowing out of his eyes.

"Ha! Would you look at that! The little weapon is crying!"

Kid looked up at the approaching men, eyes wide and tearful. "Who did I kill? Did I kill Steve? No...masaka... Masaka! MASAKA!!"

Parker drew the boy closer to him, putting his arm around him. He kissed the boy's sweet hair. "I love you too." he put two fingers under the small chin, pulling Kid's head up to face him. He smiled. "Dearly."

Steve... Gomen, Steve... It's all my fault!

"It's not your fault." Odin assured him, raising a second hand and running it through the boy's hair. "Not your fault..." Odin smiled weakly, brushing a string of hairs from the boy's eye. He then planted a kiss on his forehead.

Kid smiled.

SOLDIERS DON'T NEED LOVE! THEY DON'T NEED PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. THEY DON'T NEED FRIENDS AND THEY DON'T NEED FEELINGS LIKE GUILT. THEY JUST NEED TO EXCUTE THEIR MISSIONS. JUST MISSIONS. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR FUN AND GAMES IN A SOLDIER'S LIFE. NO FEELING, NO THNIKING- JUST MISSIONS!

Live according to your emotions... That's the proper way for a person to live...

"What if my feelings are not right?"

Odin chuckled lightly, taking Kid's hand in his. "Your feelings are never wrong. They can be different from others feelings, but they are not wrong. If what you feel is right for you, then it is. If you act by what you feel, you will do what is right for you to do."

"Do as you were taught; always act by your feelings. You're a good Kid, they will guide you well. Can you promise me that?"

NO MORE GAMES. NO MORE LOVE. NO MORE PEOPLE. JUST MISSIONS. YOU HAVE TO FIGHT. FIGHT IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. FIGHT TO DEYSTROY ALL YOUR ENEMIES.

"C'mon! FIGHT ME!"

"GO! GO! GO!" The techs cheered.

Kid bit down his lips, trying to hold back a cry of pain. How can he possibly fight them? They were on his side. They were not enemies. The Federation was! J said...

"Try to find out for yourself who is your real enemy. Despite what the Doc says. Not all targets deserve to die. There are all sorts of enemies. All sorts of people who will hurt you and try to kill you."

Soldier's eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet, fists ready, avoiding the kick.

NO MORE GAMES. NO MORE PEOPLE. NO MORE KID.

NO MORE KID...

No more Kid...

Just Soldier.

Just... Just Soldier.

Sayonara, Kid. There is no need for you anymore.

* * *

"Doctor, it's been twelve hours, shouldn't we..."

"Be quiet, Russell." J looked at the slim body that lay slumped in the chair. The boy had stopped screaming and crying hours ago. He ceased moving about two hours back. His heart rate and breath rate were slowing down. His brain waves not as wild and radical as before.

"Let him out of the chair." The Doc let out, exiting the room. "We'll continue tomorrow."

* * *

Soldier lay motionless in the chair, his chest heaving with great effort at each and every breath. His entire body was soaked with sweat, blood running down his nose and restrained limbs. All sort of wires and tubes were connected to the teen's body, drugging him and monitoring him, inflicting the 'treatment' on his tattered soul.

He didn't feel as the heavy restrains were taken off, nor did he feel as the doctors picked his limp fragile body from the chair, and placed him on a gurney, rolling him to his small room.

All Soldier knew is that there was pain. Immense pain, all over his body, deep within his soul.

After a while the pain stopped, and there was nothing else left inside him. Hollow again. Empty. Kid was gone, but not completely. Soldier buried him deep inside. Behind a thousand walls of fire and ice. Not even J could breach those walls.

And Soldier moved on with his training, with his missions, ignoring the little boy that cried deep inside of him. As time went by, the walls got thicker and thicker until not even Soldier could break them. Kid was locked deep inside, forgotten.

Soldier kept on living his hollow life, and was given a name. Soldier couldn't care less for a name. It ment little to him. Kid would have loved to have a name, any name, even if it belonged to someone else. But there was no more Kid.

Heero was sent out to fight.

The battles were hard, so Heero was glad Kid couldn't see them, couldn't feel the pain. Sometimes he would get really tired, maybe even careless, and so Kid came out, just for a few moments, trying to remind Heero what was it like once. What's it like to live. To play. It didn't happen very often and it lessened in time.

By the time the Eve Wars were over, Kid was lost for Heero. He couldn't reach him no matter how hard he tried.

He hoped that he could find Kid again. He really needed him. There was no need for a person of the likes of him in a world of peace. So Heero tried his best to free Kid from his prison. He was making slow but yet steady progress, but then another battle broke out, and again the Earth was threatened. It seemed that history would forever repeat itself and that there was no chance for Kid to ever come out again.

Heero was to be left nothing but a soldier.

EPILOGUE

* * *

AC 197.

Those eyes... they're so cold. So empty. They used to laugh. Used to be so lively. Once.

Heero Yuy sighed and turned away from the mirror. Those were not his eyes, were they? The boy that reflected in the mirror was not he, right? It can't be him. It mustn't be.

He looked up, his eyes studying the beautiful scenery that lay outside the window. It was a beautiful day. A peaceful day. The sun now shined up on a whole new world. A peaceful world. One he helped to create. He, the monster, the murderer, J's little weapon. He helped to create this.

He turned back to the mirror. So this can't be him, now can it?

He reached up a hand and touched the cold surface of the mirror. His fingers traced the outlines of his face, feeling the cold smooth surface, looking deep into those cold, sharp purssian eyes. He studied his features. Such cruel features. He hated them. Those eyes... they made him shudder as he was faced with their emptiness.

His fingers paused as they reached up to his hair and then brushed against it, trying to push the reflection of his hair away from his eyes. Trying to see what was behind those dark brown curtains.

Only emptiness stared back.

"Come out little boy..." He whispered pleadingly. "It's safe now, come out..."

Nothing. His eyes remained cold, like a sharp knife.

Why won't he come out? Was he afraid? There was nothing to be afraid of. He didn't need to kill anymore. It was over. All over. No more fighting, killing, getting hurt...

The war was over. There was no need for the Soldier anymore. Kid can come out now.

"Where are you?" Heero asked, his fingers still lying on the mirror's surface.

Was Kid lost forever? Is Soldier all that is left of him? He didn't want to be a soldier forever. He wanted to be free again. He wanted to laugh, and feel and let it all out.

"Come out little boy..." He pleaded.

Is it really safe? Is it really over? Do you promise?

"Yes. It's over."

How can you be sure? What if the Soldier has to come out again? I don't want him to.

"No more Soldier. I promise. I don't have to kill anyone anymore."

But what is there to do? Where can I go? There is no place for me to be. No one for me to go to. I have nothing.

Heero kept silent, he didn't know what to answer himself. "...The...others..." He finally murmured.

The others?! They found somewhere to go. They have someone to go to. Someone they love and who loves them back. I don't have this.

"That's not... not true..."

Do I remember how to love? Did I ever really know how?

Heero looked away from those eyes. He bowed his head, shoulders slumped. He turned to look out the window again. "Odin... Linda... Steve..." He turned back to the boy in the mirror. He looked deep into those sad eyes. "They loved me."

But they are gone. They left me all alone. There's no one left to love. Can anyone really love a soldier?

Heero reached back for the mirror, wanting to wipe the crystal tears from the boy's sad little face. His face.

Don't cry... Maybe there is someone to love. Maybe I do know what it is, I just need to remember. Please don't cry, Soldier.

"Can anyone really love a soldier?" Heero whispered, feeling the tears well up in his eyes.

His eyes. They weren't so stern anymore. The little boy was coming out to help him. Heero smiled a bit. The walls are cracking.

I love a soldier.

Heero looked away from the boy, feeling the warm tears slide down his cheeks.

Do you remember what it's like, Soldier? Do you remember how good it feels to be held? To be loved?

"Hai." Heero swallowed, turning back to the mirror. He smiled at himself, wiping away the tears. He tilted his head sideways a bit as he examined himself for a long time. Something was different. The boy in the mirror was different. He was different. No more Kid, no more Soldier. Just Heero.

He smiled again, reaching one hand for the mirror and one to his face.

"Hello, Heero..." He said quietly, smiling.

The eyes in the mirror smiled back at him.

Heero leaned his head on the mirorr, touching head to head with the boy, wanting to be one with him.

"Umm... Heero?" A hesitant voice came from behind.

Heero didn't bother to look back as he knew who was the person standing at the doorway.

"I need to, um, to ask you something." The voice continued. "It's a bit, um... private. Do you have a moment?"

Heero glanced at the other's reflection in the mirror, then back at himself.

Can anyone really love a soldier?

Heero nodded, his eyes not leaving the eyes in the mirror. "I love a soldier." He whispered.

"Is this a bad time? I ca-- I mean, um, I can come back later, if you want."

"Iiya." Heero let out and turned to meet the other, smiling. "What is it you want to ask me, Duo?"

OWARI.

You can find Shattered Moments Fill-ins on my site at: http://www.duoxheero.com

That's pretty much it. What'd ya think? Did it make any sense to ya, or do I need to seek help?

By the way, if anyone thinks I suggested split personality here, so- no. I didn't meant to do so; it just came out a bit, um, schizophrenic. I don't think Heero is THAT MUCH of a mental case. But maybe, who knows...

Anyway- C&C are welcomed: Naomi

Sa, ja na!

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