Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Remains ❯ What do you see beyond this dark mass of confusion? ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter One: “What do you see beyond this dark mass of confusion?”

~Treize Khushrenada, episode 28~

 

 

~~~DREAM~~~

 

"NO! Let me go! NO! Their still alive I know it! LET ME GO! SOLO!!" the young boy screamed as he was dragged out of the crumpling building and placed with the rest of the survivors. It was a small group, smaller then most other places the rescue unit had been to. This run down area had not been worth the time or money of the government of L-2, not to mention the Army Federation on Colony V08744, to try and hand out the few precious vaccines they had. Now less then 8 people stood huddled in the back of the truck as it pulled away. Mostly women and a few children. Glad to be safe and getting out of the mess. All except one little boy with short messy brown hair. He kept fighting the rescuers, trying to go back in, trying to find his only `family'. He was a war orphan with no one to look after him, except those dead bodies. As the truck pulled out he collapsed to the bottom of it in sobs.

 

"I'll never forget. I won't." he choked out in farewell. The rest of the rescue team started loading up the bodies to be burned. That was the only sure way to make sure that plaque was gone for good.

 

"Hey sergeant!" one of them suddenly yelled out from where he was. At his feet lay two bodies, one of a girl not very old, and the other of a young man.

 

"What is it?" his sergeant asked as he began to work his way over there.

 

"This ones still alive!"

 

"Shit. I'll call the truck back." he said, but before he was able to make a call the other stopped him.

 

"No, they got it bad, they ain't healthy by any means, but there still alive." he told his commander.

 

"Never seen that before, damn. I'll call in for a med unit right way, though I don't think coming out of here they stand much chance." the man said looking down at the body. Already they were more dead then alive.

 

"…Duo…" they choked out in a pitiful moan as the sergeant hosted them up and moved to get them out of there, as far way from anything contaminated as possible. It was strange all right, either a person had got the vaccine, or they were dead. People like this weren't supposed to be. But he hoped for their sake they'd make it. But the possibility was slim at best.

 

As he laid the limp body down in the back of the med unit he took one moment to brush a strand of long hair from their eyes.

 

"Hold on there buddy. Just hold on." he whispered to them as it pulled away and towards the nearest hospital equipped to handle plaque patients.

 

 

~~~END DREAM~~~

 

 

“NO!” The scream tore through the small apartment like a bullet. Instantly the young man was wide awake, sitting bolt up right, drenched in sweat and shivering despite it.

 

“Hey, its all right.” A soothing voice whispered to him, also moving to sit up after the rough awaking he'd just received thanks to his lover. He reached out a hand to gently touch the bare, shaking shoulder in front of him. The body jerked stiffly, a choked scream falling from open lips. Instantly the hand was yanked back away.

 

“Duo, calm down, it was just another nightmare.” He tried to make his words as soothing as possible. Wide, scared violet eyes slowly turned to face him.

 

“H..he..Heero?” he gasped out finally. Looking the body next to him over again and again, as if he couldn't trust himself to believe that it was real.

 

“Yeah, its me Duo. Are you okay?” he wanted to just reach out and pull his lover close and fight away all of his demons for him, but after his reaction at a simple touch, he wasn't about to risk it. He watched as slowly Duo's breathing became regular again, and his eyes blinked feverishly to get his vision to focus again in the real world, not on the images of a dream.

 

“Heero, hold me please?” he finally asked in a soft voice as he turned to curl up in Heero's arms, still feeling a little shaky from the nightmare moments before.

 

“Yeah, what was it Duo?” he asked as he laid the two of them back down in their bed, instinctively pulling Duo as close as humanely possible against him.

 

“Nightmare.” Was the mumbled response he got back.

 

“The war.” That wasn't a question, it was a statement, he knew how hard the dreams could hit, he had his own on more occasions then he wanted, even now after over a year of peace.

 

“No.” Duo mumbled again, pillowing his head in the crook of Heero's neck. “Something worse.” Heero's eyes went wide, and again he pulled his lover tighter. That hadn't been the answer he'd expected. He thought those dreams had long since left. When at the age of seventeen you had already lived, barely, through two wars, a `something worse' dream was never good. Those were the kind you didn't shake off for days, that stayed in your mind for longer, and your heart forever.

 

As Heero lay there holding Duo close and listening to his breathing even out in sleep once more, he knew that tomorrow would be a hard day. The lingering feeling that Duo would be carrying around would put them both on edge. He'd have to see his lover drudge up a smile from deep inside and wear it with a cheerful attitude that did nothing to fool either one of them. And it would hurt Heero enough seeing him like that to forget any chance of something other then mild disdain to grace his face.

 

As much as he would love to sit Duo down and make him talk about it, make him open up and let it out, he knew he wouldn't be able to. In the almost three years they had known each other, nearly two of those as lovers, he had learned one thing about Duo that never failed to be more then the truth. `I may run, I may hide, but I'll never tell a lie.' It wasn't just a saying, slogan, or even motto for him, it was a way of life. And if you tried to corner him about something he didn't want to talk about, you'd spend the next three weeks looking all over town for him.

 

That had happened sometime early last year even, shortly after they'd settled down in to their current apartment on earth, after the last battle with Marimeia. Duo's dreams had been plaguing him for weeks on end, and because of that Heero hadn't been able to get any sleep for those same weeks.

 

 

~~~FLASHBACK~~~

 

“NO! THEIR STILL ALIVE!” Duo's shout echoed around the still mostly bare apartment, and if it didn't wake up any of their neighbors Heero would be shocked. He grudgingly leveled himself up to his elbows to look at the shaking back in front of him. He drug a hand through his hair and resisted pulling it out in frustration. He was getting sick and tired of this. With an emphasis on tired.

 

When they were still on shaky ground in their relationship after the end of the first wars, Duo had helped Heero through his own nightmares. Of the war, and the even worse pains before the war. He helped Heero bare his soul in a way he never knew he could. Duo was the only one who could help him that way. Bringing them even closer together in all ways possible. Finally putting to rest a tragedy of the past, and allowing Heero to move on and become more human, not just a solider. While still if anyone else were to look at Heero, the change would be subtle in the least, and he was still more likely to pull a gun and make death threats then smile. Around Duo though he was almost another person altogether. And it was putting to rest his past demons that allowed him to do that, to become that.

 

He wanted more then anything to give Duo the same thing back in return. He wanted to help the one person he loved with his whole heart put their owns demons away. He knew it wouldn't change Duo like it had himself, that there wasn't a hidden person buried behind those memories. But it would help take away that hurt look that lived in the back of his eyes, the pain that was in his heart and behind his smile. And damn it all, it would let them both sleep through the whole night too. But Duo wouldn't allow it. He'd just say he was fine in the morning, to forget it. That it wasn't a big deal, and they'd go away on there own. Heero tried to convince him that if he'd just talk about them, then maybe he could move on forever. And in turn Duo had replied that he wasn't sure if he DID want them gone for good, no matter how much they hurt. And it was one of the first big fights they'd had to go through. And as much as Heero didn't fancy sleeping on the couch for another week, then at least he'd be GETTING sleep.

 

He just reclined there in the bed staring at Duo's back for the longest time. The shakes had stilled a few moments ago, his breathing had become more normal, but he was still tensed.

 

“Duo.” Heero finally said. He wanted to sound soft and caring, but even his ears picked up the bite in his voice.

 

“Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.” Duo whispered out softly.

 

“Damn it Duo, just tell me what it was. Let me help you though this.” He was sitting up fully now, and wide awake at 3 am. And completely out of steam to keep up pleasantries.

 

“God damn it Heero, don't you get it? You can't help me through this!” Duo exclaimed as he all but jumped off the end of the bed. Throwing his arms wide in exclamation.

 

“And why not? Answer me that. You helped me when I thought no one else could, why can't I help you?” Heero was now also standing, cobalt eyes burning in to Duo's.

 

“Because Heero, its my past, its over and done, nothing can change that.”

 

“Then just share it, with me. Maybe I can't help, but if you just share it with me, I can try.” Both of them were waving their arms around in time with the rising tempers.

 

“They're MY demons, MY past, MY life. Not yours. I don't need help, I don't WANT help.”

 

“Oh, so now I don't even matter enough to share YOUR life with.” He knew that that wasn't what his lover was saying, but it would get a point across.

 

“Damn it! That's not what I said Heero! I just don't need help with my past, I don't need to give it up to live normally, to live like a human, like you did.” Duo regretted saying that as soon as it left mouth. He watched as the ice seemed to form over Heero's eyes and his mouth set in a tight line. He was ready to get punched, with a fist, not with words. For even as much as Heero had opened up over time, he was still more, and most, likely to let his actions speak for themselves. But then again, he was always full of surprises.

 

“So that's how it is, I'm good enough to spend your present with, but not the past, fine that how bout not the future either.” He didn't scream, but he might as well have. From a person who was still learning to speak openly, and so hardly did it, it was like a knife in the gut. Duo's lips wavered a little as his eyes filled up with tears.

 

“DAMN IT HEERO I JUST CANT!” his scream echoed in Heero's ears as Duo ran in to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The lock clicking over was like a gunshot in the bedroom. Heero knew he might have gone to far this time. Sure Duo might have started it, but he didn't have to be the one to take it that far.

 

“Shit.” He mumbled out as he looked at the closed door. Forget the couch, Duo was going to make him sleep in the backyard for about a month for this one.

 

Duo laid back on the door and fought against the urge to open it back up and slug Heero. Sure, he took a low blow, but in all fairness it was true. Heero hadn't been a true member of humanity until recently. Living only as the `Perfect Soldier' for the mission and nothing more. But what Heero came back with, that was just uncalled for. They had never actually said that they were in this relationship forever, but it was implied for the most part. At least Duo thought it was, apparently Heero had different ideas.

 

“Boys don't cry.” He mumbled to himself as he felt the tears well up in his eyes. He couldn't share his past, he just couldn't. He was fine 90% of the time, no worries, and the worst nightmares he had involved a bad ride in Wing Zero. And those were quickly washed away with a gentle word, reassuring touch, and heated kiss from Heero.

 

But these ones, they were worse. Nothing could make these go away. Even if he told Heero everything, every bad moment that he didn't even like to think about, it wouldn't change a thing. The nightmares would still come. They were borne of his misplaced guilt, and even though he knew that it didn't change it. So hearing Heero tell him the same thing wouldn't make a difference either. So why burden him too?

 

He was just beginning to calm down, ready to go back out and try and sort through the other problems that had come out during the fight when he heard Heero's voice.

 

“Look, Duo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Just talk to me. Share this with me, let me help.” He was trying to be calm and soothing, trying to help.

 

“You just don't get it! I CANT!” Duo screamed out through the door, no he wouldn't be going back out there anytime soon.

 

“Cant or wont Duo, cause I'm getting fucking SICK OF THIS!” the soothing voice had left. He'd given him enough time to cool down, he thought. He, no they, both needed this to end. He might not have been going about it the most subtle way, but then again subtlety was never his thing. He waited for Duo's answer. Not willing to piss off the hot tempered American anymore at the moment. Hoping to get him out of the bathroom so they could both calmly sit down and talk about this. The sudden shattering noise accompanied by a scream was NOT what he'd expected.

 

“Duo, DUO! Damn it Duo what was that? OPEN THE DOOR!” Heero screamed as he tried the knob, still locked. He was in a full panic now. `Just what the hell is that baka doing?' raced through his thoughts, as well as a hundred answers to that question, none of which he liked.

 

“DAMN IT!” he screamed out as he finally gave in and just busted the handle right off the door. Waiting to see his fears come to life before his eyes as it swung open.

 

“Fuck,” was all that fell from his lips as he took in the bathroom, the empty bathroom and shattered window. Duo was gone.

 

“What have you done now Yuy?” he asked himself as he hurried back in to their bedroom to grab a shirt and shoes before he took off to find his runaway lover.

 

It took him three weeks before he tracked Duo down. He had stayed with Trowa and Quatre for the first few days, until he fled from there, again in the middle of the night. He at least had left them a note though, saying he was sorry, but being surrounded by a happy couple wasn't what he needed at the moment. From there Heero tracked him down to Wufei's. He had stayed there for about a week before the Chinese man had had enough and kicked his moping ass out with advise to `Go set things right.' It took Heero awhile to pick up his trail from there, but managed to pin it down just enough to know that he'd gone as far as to leave Earth and flee to his ex, Hilde for a while. By the time Heero had got there though Duo was gone, and the girl was mad as hell at Heero for hurting Duo that way. After a fevered explanation to her over his side of the story he managed to pry out Duo's location from her. A motel only two blocks from his and Duo's own apartment.

 

It took them nearly four hours of screaming, several broken items, a busted door they had to pay the motel back for, and even a domestic disturbance call to the police from the woman in the room next to Duo's before they had things settled down enough to at least get Duo back in to their apartment. Once there they eventually came to the talking stage, and once there an uneasy understanding was made. Heero wouldn't push, and in return, eventually, only when he was at last ready, really ready, Duo would talk.

 

~~~END FLASHBACK~~~

 

 

As Heero drudged his mind back through that painful moment in his life, and the uneasy agreement he latched on to just to keep Duo by his side, he finally fell in to an equally uneasy sleep, still holding Duo tight against his chest. Hoping that Duo's `eventually' would be soon. It had been nearly 6 months since Duo had had one of the `something worse' dreams. And now if they were back again Heero could only hope that it would either stop at the one, or Duo would finally open up to him.

 

 

“Yes…yes…thank you again. Yeah, been under the weather lately and just really needs a day to get back in order.” Heero spoke calmly over the phone.

 

“Well I can understand that, he has seemed a little off these past few days, it's understandable. I can expect you both back here after the weekend though?”

 

“Of course Ma'am. We'll be there as normal on Monday. Thank you again.” He hung up the phone then, and hoped beyond hope that come Monday they would be there, and `normal', again.

 

Heero then let out a jaw breaking yawn as he headed for the couch. It was still only 6 in the morning. Duo wouldn't even notice that the alarm didn't go off until at least 9, and then it would only be because he finally realized Heero wasn't still in bed. As he tugged a blanket around him and tried to get even slightly comfortable on the couch he realized that was only if he didn't have any more nightmares. Those damn nightmares were the reason that Heero was sleeping on the couch, not in bed, on his day off. Here he stood a chance of GETTING sleep. For the past two weeks they had been plaguing his braided lover nightly. Causing both of there sleep to be disturbed. Even when Duo managed to sleep though one, his tossing and turning and moans and groans were enough to jar Heero awake. And Duo had become distanced and withdrawn during this latest episode. As if they were even hitting harder this time around. Heero knew it was bad if his normally exuberant, bouncing, leaning towards manic boyfriend had become so withdrawn that several of their co-workers had been asking if he was sick lately.

 

“Three hours to actually sleep. Then this has got to stop.” Heero mumbled to himself as he found a position that didn't completely hurt and closed his eyes to try and finally sleep for the first time in two weeks.

 

 

 

Heero woke up with a groan, and an overly sore neck, on the lumpy couch. And decided at that moment that he was going to start saving for a hide a bed with his next pay check. He slowly tried to pull as many kinks out of his body as he could before stumbling in to the kitchen to start the coffeepot up. He glanced at the microwave clock and was startled to realize that it was almost 11 already. He was surprised that he hadn't been up earlier. He was normally a morning person, and sleeping on that damned couch normally reinforced that fact. The fact that it was so late only proved just how sleep deprived Duo's nightmares were making him. He sighed slowly as he watched the coffee brew in front of him. At least Duo was also finally getting some much needed sleep as well. Apparently he hadn't had anymore dreams since Heero had gotten up.

 

He was just finishing pouring his second cup of coffee almost an hour later when he heard Duo finally get up. And Heero safely could guess that half the apartment complex heard him wake as well.

 

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ALL!! SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!” was the echoing scream as the braided man bounded down the hall, still trying to pull on a pair of pants and his uniform shirt right over the top of his night clothes. As he spotted Heero in the kitchen, his eyes flashed with maddened rage.

 

“Damn it all Heero! Why the fuck didn't you make sure the alarm was set? Or at least fucking wake me up! I'm so fucking late…umpf!” he cut himself off as he tripped over his own half off clothing and nose dived in to the kitchen.

 

“No you're not Duo. I called in a sick day for you.” Heero told him plainly as he made a second cup of coffee for Duo.

 

“Why the fuck'd you do that?” the teen asked quite irritably as he finally got himself off the floor, and decided to discard the mostly off still clothing in that case.

 

“Because,” was Heero's simple reply as he handed off the cup of coffee on his way in to the living room with his own.

 

“Because why?” Duo asked as he followed, hesitantly though. Heero sighed as he sat down on the horrid couch that he still had a crick in his back from.

 

“Because you needed it. You needed the sleep, you needed the time off, and it was already my day off, and we need to talk.” He said slowly and calmly as he watched the teen standing next to the couch carefully for any reaction. And he got the one he thought he would.

 

“Oh hell no, fuck that! We been through this, I ain't talking, so give it up!” He screeched out as his coffee mug slammed down so hard on the coffee table Heero was surprised one or the other didn't break.

 

“Duo, calm down. I know, god I know. But still…”

 

“NO! There isn't any `but still', there is just you prying for something I can't give!” Duo was shacking now, from either how tense he had become in the last minute, or from the emotions whipping through him, who knew.

 

“Duo, I'm not pressing, I'm not prying. I'm not even going to ask.” Heero told him calmly. He had planed this out nearly a week ago, thought everything through twice just so he could be sure that he'd be able to be this calm. And so far it was working.

 

“Then what?” Duo bit out as he flopped down on the opposite end of the couch and stared straight ahead. He didn't trust himself to look at Heero at the moment. He was either going to break down, or break him if he did.

 

“Duo, you know those stupid classic 20th century TV shows you're always watching, that you got me hooked on?” he asked simply. Duo did turn to him then, with the cutest baffled look on his face that Heero couldn't help but smile.

 

“You called me in sick so we could discuss television?” he asked in disbelief.

 

“No. It's just that there is a line I remember hearing on one of those shows that I thought might be helpful.” He explained. Duo still looked puzzled though.

 

“And that would be…”

 

“It was a saying that sometimes, `A dream is an answer to a question we haven't learned how to ask yet'.” It was Heero's turn to look baffled now as Duo abruptly cracked up laughing.

 

“It figures. Leave it to the ex-Perfect Soldier to become obsessed with MacGyver, the hero of the world with only his intelligence and pocket knife!” Duo finally got out after most of his laughing fit had passed.

 

“No. Actually I heard that on the `X-Files'.” Heero replied with a slight look of annoyance over Duo's continued giggling.

 

“Oh, well, I never figured you for the sci-fi type Heero. And even though I can see Mulder saying something like that, no. It was MacGyver who said it first. They just stole it.” (*1)

 

“Well, its gonna make its rounds then cause now I'm stealing it too.” Heero told him flatly.

 

“Well fine then, whatever. But now tell me exactly why you think this has to do with anything that's happening to me?” Duo told him, turning very serious suddenly. Something that was normally not a good sign for the over exuberant man, and was always a sign to tread carefully.

 

“Because, you wont talk, no don't,” Heero stopped him before Duo had hardly even opened his mouth. “I understand. As much as I don't like it, I understand. But still, its been so long, and now these nightmares are back, so often your lucky to even get through a single night with out screaming, and so fierce that your withdrawing in to yourself so bad that even our co-workers, who don't even know your name, are coming up and asking me if your okay.”

 

“Heero, look, I..”

 

“Just let me finish Duo. Maybe, just maybe, if dreams ARE just answers to questions we don't know how to ask, then maybe you should be thinking of what these are answers too. Maybe they're just trying to tell you something Duo. Something that's coming, something you don't know. Some question you cant ask yourself yet.” Heero finished, and sat there with something like pride in himself for, as of yet, being able to handle this so well.

 

“Heero, if this is an answer, then I don't want to know the question. If it's something that's coming, I don't want to deal with it. But as for something I don't know, I do. I do know, and it does eat me up at times. But its still my past, and the only questions I have of it, are why it had to happen. All right. So, just let it go.” Duo was trying to hold his own as well, but it wasn't easy. Heero was being calm and even considerate, and Duo was trying to do the same. But with every word that was spoke it was only drudging up more memories, more thoughts, more guilt then he wanted to deal with after the rough wake up he had already.

 

“I'm trying Duo, its just, just…I don't know. I just want to see you, the happy go lucky guy. The smile because you want to, not as a mask to hide behind person that you have been. Not the jokers mask that the wars put on your face.” Heero hung his head in to his hands then. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. He didn't want to shove anything else between them. They had had more then their fair share of that in the past. And everything had been doing so well up until now.

 

“Heero, just trust me OK. This is just the one instance I can't share yet. Not now, and maybe never truth be told. I'm sorry but that's how it is. I know you want to know, but I know that it won't help or change anything. It wont make the dreams go away, and it wont make me feel better about why I have them.” Duo spoke slowly and calmly, trying to be as detached as Heero was, but in his mind he just kept seeing a flash of shoulder length blonde hair and blue gray eyes. A pat on the shoulder and husky laughing voice telling him, `you did good kiddo', and worse, that soft giggle from next to him, the one he couldn't see.

 

Heero didn't say anything he just sat there. He was trying to not over react to this. Duo had a right to keep things to himself, true. But Heero couldn't help but feel cheated in some ways.

 

“Did you know something Heero? There not all nightmares.” Duo finally said softly, so soft Heero almost missed it.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Sometimes, the worst ones, the ones that make it hard to even breathe, that make me scream the loudest, there not even nightmares. They're just dreams. Dreams of a happy moment, a pleasant memory even. But all that means is I have to at the same time remember why there'll never be any new memories, any new happy moments with those same people. And its that part that gets me, its that part that hurts.” His voice was so subdued, Heero wouldn't even had known it was Duo talking if he hadn't been watching his lips move.

 

“Its all right. Its okay.” He told his lover, his beast friend, his soul mate, as he pulled him close and laid back, just snuggling in to each other and the couch.

 

“I'm right here, and I always will be. You don't have to say anything else. Just, please, still think about what I said Duo.” He asked the teen curled in to his arms. He felt the breath that Duo let out, warm and heavy against his chest.

 

“I'll try Heero, and, and, thank you.” Heero just hugged him a little closer, and then sadly realized that Duo was falling asleep like that, on him. Which as much as he enjoyed that, it also meant he was stuck on that damnable couch yet again.

 

 

“Yeah, right buddy! Only you would think that!” Duo's laugh echoed down the hall as he waved his parting to the new recruit who had been trying to pry info from the infamous `Shinigami' about, who knew what. All of the former Gundam pilots had to put up with some flat foot newbie, most it should be stated were actually older then the seventeen year old former pilots though, trying to get something out of them about what it was like in the war, what it was like to actually fly a Gundam. And they all had their ways of taking it in. Quatre with a kind smile and a simple statement that `You don't want to know.' Trowa just ignored them, Wufei would start spouting off about infidels and storm away. Heero caused nearly everyone to almost shit their pants as he would level them with a gun and not so nicely inform them that if they asked again, he WOULD kill them. Duo just laughed it off. Made a joke and kept on being himself. Which also caused him to get the most questions thrown his way. Even though he was still likely to call himself Shinigami, he was the nicest about it when asked.

 

Heero had to smile at the last little scene as he watched Duo all but bounce over to him in the hall.

 

“Geeze, I thought he'd never leave me alone.” He complained, albeit with a grin, as he stopped in front Heero.

 

“That's because you're too nice to them.” He replied as he turned and the two of them continued down the hall to the briefing room.

 

“Yeah, well, at least I don't make one out of every three quite before they even start.” He laughed out. Heero's smile widened just a fraction. It was nice to have Duo back again, back to normal that was. The dreams had tapered off shortly after there talk that morning almost a month ago, and everything seemed to be just fine again. And for that Heero was more then thankful.

 

“I wonder what this is all about, don't you Heero?” Duo asked as they rounded the next corner. Heero just gave a slight shrug.

 

“Who knows. I mean it isn't unusual for them to team us up. They know we work well together.” He said simply. And it was true. Even though all five of the former pilots specialized in different fields inside of the Preventers, Trowa in undercover, Wufei in fieldwork, Quatre in the offices, Heero in the technology and marksmanship, and Duo as engineering and stealth, when any of those fields needed to be merged, they were working with each other once again. It was no secret who they were inside of the Preventers, and all of the upper levels would gladly put them together any chance they could. Fighting along side of one another through two wars when you only had each other to count on for survival meant something was formed that went beyond comradeship, friendship, anything. It also meant that they would melt in to each other in the field, knowing each others moves without a second thought.

 

So the fact that now both Heero and Duo were told to report to the same briefing room, for the same mission, wasn't unusual. As they neared the room they bumped straight in to Quatre though, quite literally, as he suddenly emerged from one of the doors.

 

“Oh, sorry there Q-man.” Duo said as he helped his friend regain his balance.

 

“No problem Duo. I wasn't paying attention, I'm a little late for a briefing is all.” He said with his more then kind smile on his face.

 

“Oh, really so are we actually.” Duo responded.

 

“Quatre, that wouldn't happen to be a briefing in c19 by Chief Une herself would it?” Heero asked suddenly, suspicion filling his face.

 

“Yeah, actually, why?” the blonde asked as his own smile faltered slightly.

 

“That's ours too man.” Duo said, casting a look at both the others. Two of them together, no that wasn't a big deal, but three of them…that didn't happen very often. Only on some pretty serious cases.

 

“I guess I was right then He-chan, this is something big then.” Duo laughed out as he opened the door to the room to allow the 3 of them inside. As it swung open though he froze in his tracks.

 

“Whoa.” Was all he could manage to say.

 

“Yeah, that sums it up.” Heero said as he too stepped inside and stopped in his tracks.

 

“I think big is going to be an understatement.” Quatre said as he walked through the room and over to the table to sit next to his own boyfriend, Trowa, who was already seated there, across from Wufei. Both of whom looked equally shocked to see the other three come inside. Never had there been anything big enough to rate all five of them on the same case.

 

As everyone became settled around the table and waited for Chief Une to show up, an uneasy silence hung more then heavy in the air.

 

“I do not like the feel of this one bit.” Wufei finally said, speaking what everyone was feeling.

 

“Hey, maybe we're all getting a raise, or promotion, or awarded or such.” Duo tried to joke with a half laugh, just to ease the tension some. It didn't work though. Even he couldn't convince himself of that. The only thing that could require the five of them together was something very big, and more likely then not, very bad. And every one of them knew it.

 

“Hello gentlemen, sorry about the wait. I had to make sure I had the most up to date information for you all.” Chief Une spoke a minute later as she walked in to the room. Carrying a large stack of papers and a very grim expression on her face. All five heads snapped up to look at her, all wanting answers to as of yet unasked questions.

 

“Listen Une just what…” Duo started to ask, never being one to be able to wait, before he was cut off.

 

“Please Mr. Maxwell, just be patient. I know all of you have a lot of questions. And I can assure you that they will be answered in due time. But for right now, just please let me have the opportunity to explain.” she said slightly sternly. This was going to need to be handled very carefully, and she didn't need Duo's insistent mouth causing her to say things she wasn't ready to yet. After everyone seemed to give their approval to her words, albeit Duo rather reluctantly, she decided to continue.

 

“I'm sure you five are aware of the out post back colonies, even though most of the Earth isn't, due to your experiences. Am I correct?” she asked them. She received some nods of agreement, and some him-hawed yeses in response. Not many people were supposed to know of the back colonies. They had never been completely finished, and so far removed from earth and the other colonies that the government had very little to no control over them. That wasn't news anyone wanted getting around. They knew about them though simply because the back colonies were there in the wars as a last resort for retreat, a place they had been sure the enemies wouldn't be able to get to. It had never come to that though, and since then it had been pushed out of their minds. Until now that was.

 

“All right then. The Back Colonies of L-6 through L-10 have never been fully completed as you must also be aware of. That is because of their proximity to earth, and the complications that the wars had on the communication between the colonies. The back colonies already had problems connecting with earth as it was due to the distance. The best they could due was to communicate to each other, and occasionally to one of the other colonies, and hope that that colony could get in touch to earth for them.

 

After the on set of war, and the communication break down with all the colonies, everyone tended to forget that they were still out there. It was easy to do as the only people who resided on them were the scientists, engineers, and their families. Once peace settled again, as much of an over sight as it may have been, no one bothered to try and reconnect to those colonies. Trying to retain peace on earth and the populated colonies was first priority.” Chief Une took a deep breath then as she paused. The five expectant faces before her told her that she hadn't even hit the hard part yet, and they all knew it.

 

“Whats this…” Duo tried again.

 

“What does this have to do with anything now, right?” Une asked him, with a look that reminded him to be patient. He kept his mouth closed this time, but did eagerly nod his head in agreement.

 

“Well, after the Eve wars, when the true operation Meteor was attempted, the back colonies were then tried to be brought back in to the communications loop. But they wouldn't have anything to due with it. They took the attempts to destroy a colony by one rebel faction as a threat against them all. They have since demanded total freedom from earth, and the remaining colonies. Refusing any kind of agreements, peace talks, or anything of the sort. Their demands have been getting more and more harsh. And their latest demands are that either they are given full freedom from Earth, the military, and even the other colonies, or they will take it by force.” All the faces in the room took on a darker tone. Not even Duo was able to hold up a smile through this one. What Une was saying was that war had come knocking again, and none of them wanted to deal with that at the moment.

 

“How do we know they can be taken seriously?” Wufei asked her then. Threats didn't mean anything if they couldn't even be backed up.

 

“Because they have already started moving in. They were cut off from all communications for so long that their movements weren't being watched. And by that factor they were able to gain enough equipment, and men, to make a very formidable army. One that includes mobile suits. Not just any suits either but both mobile dolls, and even reports of some that are reinforced with Gundanium. Still as this was only rumors up until a month ago, we sent one of our agents out to investigate. She discovered that they have already taken root on to the L-2 colonies. Turning them in to a new base of operations closer to the Earth so that when it comes to the point of an attack, they can do so with greater ease.” Une paused then as she let this latest news sink in. This was it, the big news that she was dropping. The fact that this new threat was already further advanced then they had ever wanted to let it get, and it was their own fault too.

 

“Heero, she said, she said L-2…” Duo whispered out as he stole a fearful look at the teen sitting next to him. Heero reached out and gave Duo's hand a reassuring squeeze from under the table. He knew Duo had grown up on one of the L-2 colonies, and Hilde, among other friends, still lived there as well. This was hitting a little too close to home for him, and Heero knew that no matter what came next, Duo wouldn't question throwing himself in to battle over this.

 

“So, now what?” asked Trowa calmly from his seat. He wasn't sure if he was ready to jump back in the fray of war again. He was still learning to come out of his shell as much as Heero was, and he didn't know if he could handle being forced to retreat in to it once again.

 

“Now, I turn things over to you five. This is a beginning of a war, no matter how we would like to think otherwise. The five of you are the best shot that we have to get through this. I am sorry for dumping this on your lap, but that's the way it has to be. I don't expect an answer right away. I expect you to take time to think this over, and seriously understand what agreeing to this mission will mean to each and every one of you. And I am also sorry, but until I have a yes or no response from you, I can not for securities sake give you any more information. If you do happen to take this on, then I will put you in touch with Major Kadeyn Schuler. The agent whom I spoke of earlier. And she will give you all any further information she can. As this case, as we are still calling it at the moment, is under her charge.” Une told them. Once again hanging the hopes of Earth and the colonies on the shoulders of five teenage boys. She hated doing it, but really there was no other way to ensure the peace. She had no idea what she was going to do if for any reason they said `no' to this mission. There was no plan B, it was them or nothing. And even though she didn't tell them that, she knew that they had to know themselves.

 

“How long?” Quatre's saddened voice asked out in the now too silent room. This was a heavy decision for them to make, and he for one greatly needed as much time as he could get before deciding.

 

“I would like to give all of you as much time as you wanted, but as this is a most urgent matter, I can't. I can only give you 48 hours at best. I'm sorry. You will all be given that time off of work though to contemplate your choice. Please know that I am not trying to but any undue pressure on to you. It is only up to each one of you, no one will look down on you for whatever choice you make. And that gentlemen concludes this. I will see you all back here in two days for your answers. And please remember, this is classified information. Do not let it get outside of the six of us. Thank you.” With that Chief Une stood up and left the room, carrying an even darker expression with her then when she entered.

 

The five teens just took turns looking at one another, even Duo couldn't find the words to talk. This was too much for any of them, especially him being this was all taking part on his home colony to top it off. Finally after a few more minutes of nothing but silence, he'd had enough.

 

“So, where are we meeting and who's bringing the alcohol?” he asked suddenly, but not in the slightest jokingly.

 

“Better make it our place, it's the biggest.” Quatre said, with a look at Trowa to make sure that that was okay with him as well. The brunette gave a slight nod of his head to show that it was before speaking himself.

 

“I'm sure I can get Cathrine to get the beer for us, if Rasid wont that is.” He told them all. Everyone nodded their heads and agreed to be at the couple's house at 7 that evening. And with heavy hearts they departed the room then, to try and gather their own thoughts before the meeting later that night.

 

 

“Look, enough all ready, we have been through the facts that we have a million times over! We need to come to a decision all ready.” Wufei bit out finally as he slammed a fist down on the coffee table he was sitting in front of. They had been camped out in Trowa and Quatre's living room since the 7 p.m. the night before. It was now going on midnight, and they all had to report back to Une in less then 8 hours with their decision. They had spent the entire time talking, yelling, discussing, and shouting out everything that they knew about this current situation twice over. The beer keg in the corner was looking more and more appealing to all of the young men. But as of yet they had hardly touched it. This was a decision that they wanted a clear head for. Not just rushing in to something because at the time alcohol made it sound like a good idea.

 

“Look, I for one want to keep the peace more then anything, but still, rushing in to another war, especially without knowing all the facts that there are isn't something I'm ready to do yet!” Quatre all but whined out yet again. Trowa put a strong arm around him and pulled him in closer to where he sat on the couch. His blonde lover had the gentlest and most open heart of them all. The first battles nearly destroyed him, he didn't want to see that strain on him yet again. But for him personally, he hadn't yet seen any other way to go about it.

 

“Yeah, that's great Cat, but look, this is MY home colony here. I mean sure, I may never really want to go back there again, but I don't want it to fall in to enemy hands either.” Duo shot back in response. He didn't ever hold any regrets for leaving L-2 behind for good, but he wasn't ready to turn his back on it at the same time.

 

“Yeah, that's fine, but even if we do go through with this, what CAN we do? We don't even have our Gundams anymore, and the enemy not only has mobile suits, but mobile dolls that have been reinforced with Gundanium.” Heero added, for what felt like the hundredth time.

 

“And in the Eve wars it was only a fluke that we got them back when we did, we were still doing what we could before that.” Trowa pointed out in the same counter part that he had been using every time Heero made that same argument.

 

“And we're right back to talking in circles, AGAIN!” Wufei all but screamed out at the group. And it was true, no matter how long they tried to debate this logically, they were not going to get anywhere. Everything just kept coming down to the same points no matter what they did. And it was also becoming clear that this had very little to do with a group decision as it did with a personal one. That was how they had all became Gundam pilots in the first place, and now it was becoming clear that that was how they had to approach this as well. They may have become a group, a team, and beyond that friends during the time that they had together, but still this was something that they could only answer themselves, with their own hearts. And that was becoming clear to everyone at the moment.

 

“Look, I've had enough of this. We've done all we can do as a group. I'm going back home to make my own decision. I will see you all tomorrow.” Wufei said in a much calmer voice then as he stood up and departed the room.

 

“That sounds like a plan. Come on Duo.” Heero said as he followed suit and stood, offering his hand down to Duo.

 

“Yeah, I guess.” The braided teen said as he took the offered hand and shot a goodbye over his shoulder as Heero all but dragged him out of the house. Leaving Trowa and Quatre alone in the house to make their own decision as well. It was easy to say that no one would be getting any amount of sleep that night.

 

 

All three houses were full of restless pilots that night. None of them having any easy choice of whether or not to go to war again. It was a hard decision for all five to make. Even Duo, after his claims of not letting anything take over his old colony of L-2, didn't really know what he was going to do. It was hard to make a decision like that, especially on limited information.

 

They were all Gundam pilots at heart. That was what they had been raised for, and been brought in to war to do. They were always soldiers at heart, no matter what they said or did. Many of the general population still hated, or feared, them. Even after all this time of peace. Normal was never really an option the five of them had. That was one of the reasons they had all decided to become Preventers agents. There they could create there own `normal' outside of the generally constructed box. Now that the call to battle was before them again though, it was a choice none of them took lightly. It would mean once again giving up on the small shred of `normal' that they had managed to hold on to through their teens. But at the same time it was a chance to again be the solider that they were at heart. It was a way to not have to work around that in life, but embrace it in battle. But that alone was a price that none of them were willing to again pay without reason.

 

As the morning dawned though and every one of them found themselves again sitting around the table in the briefing room, waiting on Chief Une's arrival, they all suddenly realized that they DID have a reason. The reason was the same as it has always been, and always would be. Peace, and they were the only ones who had the experience to try and keep it, with or without their Gundams.

 

“I take it that you have all come to a decision then.” Une questioned them as soon as she set foot in to the room. She couldn't take this slow anymore. As soon as she had their answers she had to get to work. Every minute was precious to her at this point.

 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Duo said as he looked around at the crest fallen faces everyone had. He knew they had all come to the same decision that he and Heero had the night before.

 

“Come on guys! Cheer up, we lived through it before, whats one more time?” he joked with a laugh, trying to lighten up everyone's mood.

 

“Yes, well. I can also take it that everyone has agreed to go through with this mission?” she asked them, even though the answer was obvious, she needed to hear it out loud before she could proceed.

 

“Yes.” Came out of all five teens' mouths at almost the same exact time. No matter what they were all in this now. Ready or not they had accepted, and taken the plunge. Now they just had to wait for Une to tell them where this plunge was taking them this time around.

 

“All right then. In that case I will give you the main facts before I turn you over to Major Schuler. As she is the one who is in charge of this operation. Now first off you must understand that even though by doing this you are once again accepting the position of a soldier, this is still a Preventers mission, and you are still our agents. And as that you will still report to us, and you will still take your orders from us. While you will be given more freedom of movement and judgment then ever before, those are still the main facts that you will have to except. Is that understood?” She asked the teens before her. They all exchanged looks before answering. They weren't going to be allowed to play this exclusively by their own rules this time. They would still be Preventers agents, it was a different spin on what they were used too, but still nothing great enough to force any of them to back out. Besides Une had said that they would still be given freedom to do just about what ever they chose to do. So it wasn't that much different then when they had been taking orders from the Doctors actually. It wasn't a moment before all five heads had nodded their agreement to Une's terms.

 

“All right. Very well then. I now turn you over to Major Schuler, via the Vid Screen, as she is already in position on the Resource Satellite CX-5997, waiting your decisions to begin the second part of her mission.” Une explained as she turned the Vid Screen on.

 

“What second part?” Duo asked impatiently, wondering what that was, and why it had made such a weird smile cross Une's face. It was almost like in her split personality days.

 

“The part that says that you guys signed on, and I have the go ahead to start rebuilding.” A steely voice came across the V.S. in answer to Duo's question. The screen was now filled with the face of who they could only assume was Major Kadeyn Schuler. She appeared to be in her mid 20's with severely curly dark orange hair that fell just below her ears. Her honey brown eyes gazed out at the five teen boys in front of her.

 

“You're kidding me right Une. I mean come on, you said you were sending me the Gundam pilots, not kids.” She snapped out suddenly, forgetting what she was supposed to be saying.

 

“Major Schuler, these young men ARE the Gunman pilots. I know that your outposts in the back colony kept you away from most of the war posts, but take my word on it. These are the pilots.” Une replied a bit bitterly. The woman didn't have that much room to complain in her mind, she was only a handful of years older then these boys to begin with.

 

“Come on though, even if they are, none of them are even 18 yet!” the Major continued to complain.

 

“I will be within the next month.” Trowa spoke up calmly leveling his one visible green eye at the woman.

 

“Yeah, and I bet the first thing your going to do is go out and buy beer and cigarettes for everyone else.” The Major snapped out.

 

“Nah, why bother we can get that stuff well enough on our own already. Hell, we still have half a keg back at Cats place right now.” Duo spoke up merrily, flashing his grin large enough to fill over half of the V.S. on its own.

 

“PLEASE!” Une suddenly barked out before anyone else could say anything more. “Can we just get back to the matter at hand everyone.”

 

“Yes, sorry Chief, as I was saying this now gives me a go ahead to start the full rebuilding with the engineers I have available until the pilots make it here themselves. Correct?” the major questioned.

 

“Yes in fact it does. Though you will have to wait on the final preparations for Zero of course.” Une told her crisply, watching out of the corner of her eye as she said `Zero' for the reaction. And she got it all right.

 

“Rebuilding? Zero? What the hell is going on here?” Wufei all but demanded across the connection.

 

“Just what it sounds like. After the final battle, and the dearmaments treaty that lead the five of you to destroy your Gundams, all of the parts were collected, saved, and stowed away. When this problem first started to come up about 6 months ago the blue prints for Heavyarms, Sandrock, Altron, Deathscythe Hell, and Wing Zero were pulled up and the necessary parts and equipment were obtained. We were just waiting for the confirmation that you would all actually be needing them again before we went ahead and started to reconstruct them.” Schuler explained to them, quite smugly in fact. It wasn't many people who had the ability to reconstruct a Gundam, and she was one of them. That was truthfully the main reason she had been pulled from her engineering position on the Mars Terraforming project to be put in charge of this.

 

“HOLY SHIT I GET MY BABY BACK!! SHINIGAMI LIVES!!!!” Duo suddenly burst out with an ear-shattering scream and proceeded to glomp everyone in the room. As much as that normally would have put Wufei off, who for the record was as straight as they come, in light of the news that they were all getting their Gundams back, he gladly accepted and even returned the embrace. It had been a hard moment to destroy their `partners' as part of the weapons treaty, and now to get them back was a heart raising moment.

 

“Kids, I tell you.” Schuler complained as she shook her head. “I hope the other two are better then this Une.” She told the other woman in almost warning.

 

“What other two?” Heero's cold voice asked out as he finally was able to pry an over zealous Duo off of him.

 

“You are getting two new members of the team this go around. They are also pilots who fought in the last two wars. They were stationed out in the back colonies during the time of both of them. And because of that they are going to be most helpful with this current mission. As they both already have experience with that territory and that enemy.” Schuler explained to the suddenly stern faces on the V.S. before her. It was obvious they didn't like the idea of being handed new players in the middle of a game.

 

“We don't have any other information on them besides those facts though. That and they will be rendezvousing with you five on the resource satellite sometime within the next two months. They currently have to come from deep inside of the back colonies, and if they move to fast they will be ID'ed as infiltraters. That is also the reason we have no information on them to speak of. Anything that we received from them was always under suspicion of being over heard by the enemy. So they couldn't divulge anything that would lead to their identities or whereabouts.” Une further explained to the young men in front of her.

 

“I will be awaiting your arrival here almost immediately. Then once all seven pilots are here, the full debriefing can take place. Also once you arrive you can then assist, or simply take over the reconstitution of the Gundams on your own. Though I do have intelligence that the one pilot who is on the way is a genius in the field of engineering.” Schuler added.

 

“Yeah, well tell them ALL to keep their hands off of MY Gundam.” Heero bit out coldly. Every one of them had similar feelings actually. Their Gundams were their partners, and as such almost a part of them. Having someone else all over them wasn't something they really wanted.

 

“Then I suggest you hurry up and get you ass up here. And that's an order. Schuler out.” With that the V.S. cut off. Leaving the five young men in a slight daze of what had just been said in the last 20 minutes.

 

“Well, you have your orders. Prepare to move out immediately. There will be a shuttle waiting to take you to the satellite tomorrow morning at 6 am sharp. That should give you all enough time to make preparations and be ready to leave. Dismissed." Une told them as she, for the second time that week, left them alone in the briefing room, with grim expressions all around.

 

“And so it begins…” Duo said out loud as the door shut behind her. He wanted it to sound like a joke, to lighten the mood, but even he couldn't bring laughter in to the statement. As the reality behind it was already to well known to all of them.

 

 

 

TBC….

 

Please review!!

 

 

*1) That entire conversation was inspired by my own personal flyboy, Duo Maxwell!