Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Shikanenai ❯ Anything Is Possible ( Chapter 8 )

Title: Shikanenai - Part 8

Series: Gundam Wing

Standard Disclaimers:

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own Justice Boy's official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "Futou!!" No, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops* But I did, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

Rating: for reasons below . . . PG-13

Warnings:

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama - Duo-chained-up - ( not like that you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing.

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Shikanenai

- capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

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PART EIGHT

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Duo's lunch plan had worked after all. For one afternoon, the house seemed to have traveled back in time. Duo was his old, cheerful, rambunctious self. Quatre was honestly trying not to laugh. And as far as Trowa and Wufei's reactions go, they couldn't figure out this sudden transformation and were shocked to silence.

The afternoon was perfect. And then, somehow came the alcohol. The events went as usual. Trowa held his own well in the drinking contest. Wufei, though he appeared to be doing well, suddenly passed out on the couch. And Quatre and Duo, well, they were reduced to their usual drunken stupor. The contest never had a definite winner, though, because Quatre and Duo soon found their own antics more amusing. Nothing seemed amiss, but there was an ever present absence that silently demanded to be filled. But Heero was still no where to be found.

The time did eventually come when the party was officially over. As Trowa's tower toppled due to Duo's sudden collision with it, annoyed green eyes challenged Duo's bright apologetic ones. Quatre couldn't help himself and he was soon rolling on the floor in fitful laughter. Trowa stood and Duo backed away arms raised in surrender. "Now, Trowa, calm down. I didn't mean it. It was an accident."

Trowa's determined face did not falter.

Duo was sobering up in a hurry. He gulped. "Trowa, man, I don't know what you think you're doing, but-- "

"Quatre, come on. It's time for you to go to bed," Trowa coaxed as he leaned over a still laughing Quatre.

"But, Trowa, I'm having so much- hic- fun!"

"I know you are, Quatre. But believe me you're no fun the next morning."

"What?!"

"Come on, let's go," Trowa grabbed Quatre's arm and started to lift him up off the floor. But Quatre had his own ideas.

When not under the influence of alcohol Trowa had superior balance, but Trowa's state was no match for Quatre's pull and gravity combined. Down Trowa tumbled. "No, you come here," Quatre laughed as he wrapped his arms around a shaken Trowa.

"Uh, Quatre . . ."

"What is it, my Trowa?" Quatre purred into Trowa's ear.

Trowa's eyes drew Quatre's to rest on a shocked Shinigami pilot and a sleeping Wufei beyond him.

Quatre's smile faded slightly. "Oh, I see your point. Uh, Trowa . . ."

"I'll help you up," he offered as he stood.

"Thanks," Quatre moaned as his brain joined his skull next to a calm Trowa's shoulder, "I think."

"What about Wufei?" Duo wondered.

"He'll be fine. He's mostly pretending to be asleep," Trowa said insightfully.

"Oh, so now he's too good to drink with us," Duo accused with purpose.

But much to his dismay, Wufei's reply was only a hushed grunt as he rolled away from the three drunken pilots.

Quatre laughed. "Goodnight, Wufei. Come on, let's go-oh!" Trowa caught and held Quatre firmly as his legs gave out beneath him. "Th-thanks, Trowa."

"You're welcome, Quatre," he returned as he looked with concern into the blue eyes he loved so much.

"Uh, Duo . . ." Quatre enquired, "Can you make it back alone okay?"

"Are you kidding me? You know who you're talking to."

"That's why I asked." A now silent Trowa buried his smile in Quatre's hair.

"Hey!" Duo calmed his flustered ego. "I'll make it. It's not far from yours."

"True," Quatre conceded.

"Now let's go. I need some sleep."

"But, Duo, it's still the afternoon . . . I think."

"I don't care. Oh, come on, you two. Take the afternoon off for once. Don't tel me you'd rather be working?!"

Trowa and Quatre's gazes met. "He does have a point, Quatre."

"Yes," Quatre's mouth spread into a grin, "We shouldn't let the afternoon go to waste."

<*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*>

Duo leaned against the door, closing it. Man, that was fun . . . I think. Duo's thoughts drifted to Trowa and Quatre. Well, at least one good thing will come out of this. Still, I can't help but wonder . . .where did Heero go? A mission? Most likely. Well, since he's gone . . . there's nothing keeping me out of this room. Duo approached the right side of the bed. "Well, it's not like I could sleep in my room, even if I wanted to. So, what the Hell. May as well enjoy it while I can."

He entered the bathroom and observed himself in the mirror. One thing I've never liked about alcohol is it stays with you. I ruins your breath and makes you careless of your appearance. I need a shower. As Duo exited the shower, he began the process of drying his skin and his hair. Well, at least I'm starting to feel like I'm sobering up. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and downed many glasses of water. As much as I dislike drinking plain water, it does wonders for hangovers before they happen.

While Duo sat on the bed brushing his hair, his eyes began to feel an even greater burden drawing them down. When finished he thought, Well, I'm just going to go to bed now. I don't think I could stay awake long enough to braid it. Oh well, as if anyone would care, anyway. I give up. I need some sleep.

Duo parted the sheets and slipped beneath them. The cool sheets enveloped him, drowning him in the lingering smell of its long gone former occupant. He sighed deeply. I might be able to get some sleep tonight after all.

<*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*>

Why am I coming back here? Heero asked himself as he crossed the blanket of snow world. Because those were the orders. "Rendezvous with the other pilots and await further orders." This time Heero was tempted to tell Dr. J exactly where he could shove those orders, especially if they in any way involved Duo Maxwell. Well, here goes nothing. He opened the door. Where is everyone? And what is that sound? His keen ears followed it. And there on the couch at the far end of the room was a sleeping Wufei. Wufei? Sleeping? And in the late afternoon? Well, early evening. Heero's foot made contact with something on the floor. A can. And there was more where that came from. A former tower's worth.

What the Hell is going on here? You leave for a few days and that's exactly what happens. Empty beer cans everywhere . . . and three pilots nowhere. And all in the afternoon. There was little doubt in Heero's mind where Trowa and Quatre were. But that only left Duo . . . Most likely passed out in his room. He never could take his liquor.

"Well, well, well, the Perfect Soldier returns," Wufei taunted from behind.

"Hm?" Heero turned stiffly and mentally began to prepare for any confrontation. But he didn't expect a verbal assault.

Wufei stood with his arms crossed. "I have to hand it to you, Heero. I thought it would take you a lot longer to come to your senses."

Voice raising slightly in volume, he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Wufei spoke with slow, quiet intensity. "Hn. Don't tell me the reason why you left was a mission. Well, maybe your mind made it your mission, but the fact is you left of your own free will. And all to runaway from a little, American pilot. Well, not just any American. There was something about this one. Something that scared you. Oh, you'd never admit this to anyone, but even Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, has fears. And giving in to what your heart tells you is what scares you. One of the most common fears among humans is being alone. But not Heero Yuy. No, he fears not being alone."

"Is there a point to this?"

Wufei approached Heero and lowered his voice to a calmer, almost friendlier tone. "All I'm saying is that there's no justice in this world for those who are alone. Those who find someone to care for as they are cared for . . . those are the luckiest of all."

"But what if there is no luck?"

"Call it fate, if you wish, but don't throw it away. There are many who would envy such companionship."

"Do you, Wufei?"

Exactly what Wufei thought was not important at this time. "I will say only this, I had my chance and because I did not realize it, I lost it. It may have been fate, but fate must be earned. And that is what I know now. Wars come and go, but fate is always there. It is the choices we make in life that determine our fate. Choose wisely, Heero. Don't make the same mistake I did."

He left as quickly as he had arisen, leaving a contemplating Heero in his wake. Choose wisely . . . but what is the right choice?

<*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*>

Quietly, Heero made his way past the two rooms he so desperately wanted to avoid. He entered his room without bothering to turn on the lights. He knew the place well enough, even though the last time he actually slept there was before Duo's capture and disappearance. Disa- no, I was the one who . . . Yes, he had pulled an act of that nature. And now he had just as suddenly returned. Who knows how Duo is going to react. It could be either extreme of happiness or sadness, somewhere in between, or both, knowing Duo. Well, I won't think about that now. Now, I may as well sleep. I'll need every bit of coherence I can get when I cross paths with Duo next. And it will happen, sooner or later, whether I want it to or not. But if I'm to have any semblance of control, then I'd prefer if it were later. I won't think about it now. Now, I'm going to lie down in my own bed . . . albeit an empty one, and give in to my body's cry to embrace sleep.

Come to think of it, the last time I slept was that morning . . . that morning with Duo . . . in my arms . . . And as Heero climbed into his bed, all thoughts seemed to melt away.

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"Hm. Wh-what time is it?" Duo knew without looking that it was morning. What's that sound? It was coming from outside. Music with notes rising and falling in a song to herald the new morning. Birds. Well, at least they're happy this morning. But exactly how early is it? Duo groaned. He would have to look sooner or later. But later meant he would sleep even longer. Sooner was better.

Duo was lying on his right side. He would have to roll over to see the clock. Slowly, Duo tried to lift his body . . . but he set it back down where it was. Did I tuck myself in last night or what? Baka, you probably just twisted the sheets around you in your sleep. But if that's true, then why are the sheets so heavy? Unless . . . oh, no. No way. It couldn't happen, again, could it? Heero's not even here. He's off on some mission . . . but if that were true, then why do those feel like strong, muscular arms around my waist? Am I dreaming? Please say I'm dreaming.

Open your eyes and see for yourself, he attempted to reason with his slowly waking mind. I can't look. I just can't. It's him, it has to be. But what is he doing here? He can't possibly think I'll just take him back so easily . . . not that I ever had him.

As all feeling returned to Duo, the crushing grip of reality reawakened every part of him. All senses were now back in his use. But especially touch. What in the Hell am I doing? Is that . . . him . . . in my arms? Oh, no, it's happening all over again. No, it can't. I won't let it happen. Resolve coursing through him, Duo warily opened his eyes . . . and saw himself nose to nose with a calmly sleeping Heero Yuy. "Dammit, Heero! What the Hell are you doing? Get your hands off me!" Duo's arms pulled back reflexively only to push out ferociously.

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"Hm, wh-" Heero raised his slumbering eyelids as Duo's arms made contact. Not yet awake, Hero had no option but to take the force and roll off the bed. But as he approached the floor, his reactiveness came to. Shifting his body weight, he landed down on one knee with two hands poised in front of him to move again if necessary. What the Hell just happened?! Across the bed, scrambling for the opposite side of the bed was a very annoyed Duo Maxwell.

What's the big idea, Heero? Trying to seduce me as I sleep . . . again? Can't you see that I was trying to sleep-"

"In my bed?" Heero asked gruffly as he stood.

"It's not like you ever had a claim to it in the first place. Any claim you had left with you."

"So now I have no right to sleep? Why are you here, Duo? You have your own room-"

"Yeah, well, a lot of things that seemed like they were mine turned out not to be."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means, Heero? After all, your thoughts and feelings are all that matters."

"Duo, I . . ."

"That's always what it's about, how you feel, what you think, what you do, and who you are. It's all about Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, so just screw everyone else . . ."

"Duo, stop it!"

"And just why should I? So you'll feel better? You don't have any idea what I've been going through. And, what's worse, you don't even care."

"Duo . . ."

"No, you stop it, Heero, just stop it. What right have you to come back here . . . now? You left without telling me . . . while I was asleep. You didn't even have the guts to wait until I was awake. The least you could have done was leave before . . . before I . . . before we . . . well, I guess not. You can't expect the Perfect Soldier to have any manners or sense of decency, let alone any regard for another . . . why couldn't you just stay away? Why can't you just let me be?"

"I was given orders to comeback . . ."

"Oh, you were ordered to, were you? Great, that's just great. Well, since you only respond to orders, then follow this one and get-out!" Duo turned on his heels, stomped into the bathroom, and slammed the door. "Oh," he yelled through the door, "And I suggest you leave again be-fore I come back out." Silence.

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Shocked, that was the only way his confused mind could describe his reaction to Duo's outburst. It's not like I didn't have it coming to me. I deserve whatever I get. And when Duo comes out I'm sure he'll give it to me. He needs time to cool off, Heero thought as he dressed. There's no easy way for me to do this, Duo, but it must be done. And I'm not leaving until it's finished.

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What in the Hell am I doing? I'm hysterical. And to make matters worse, he isn't saying anything. Damn it, Heero. Just talk to me! Say anything. Say how much you hate me and can't stand me. Tell me that I'm the most despicable creature in the world . . . I don't care. Just say something . . . anything, so long as it's what you honestly feel. Duo's breathing began to slow and deepen once more. Get a grip, Duo. Don't lose it, well . . . anymore than you already have. If you want him to speak, then show him that you'll listen. I'll give you one chance, Heero. Talk now or forever regret your mistakes because I can't and I won't.

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To both pilots it seemed like an eternity before the bathroom door opened and a much calmer, more collected, and clothed Shinigami pilot emerged. Arms crossed, he leaned against the doorjam and waited with downcast eyes. But he was growing evermore impatient with each moment that passed. "So, you decided to stay after all, eh Heero? Well, I guess I'll leave then . . . this time."

As Duo walked toward the door without a glance toward Heero, he failed to see the figure moving after him. A hand captured his loose locks and held them with gentle intent. It was the only thing he could grab onto. "You wore your hair down . . ."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't for you."

"I know, But I always wanted you to."

Duo's heart clenched at the words. "I know. But why?"

"Why . . . "

Duo could feel Heero moving closer.

"It shines like silk . . ." Heero lifted the locks to his cheek. "And is infinitely softer. Duo . . ."

"Yeah, Heero?"

"Why did you suddenly decide to leave?"

"Wha . . ." He wants to know why I am leaving him?

"I know it hurts. And believe me, I never wanted you to feel that pain. I never wanted to leave, but theses horrible, terrifying thoughts kept going through my head."

"Like what?"

"I didn't want to be somebody's weakness . . . and I didn't expect that you would become one to me . . ."

"So that's what I am, a weakness." Duo shook his head sadly. "I knew it. I knew it."

"Duo, I was worried about us. What if we let our feelings cause our . . . something to happen . . . in the war."

"I kept thinking that if you, the Perfect Soldier, became distracted during a battle because of me and you d- . . . I couldn't live with myself if you lost . . . your life because of me. As I told you before, I care for you, Heero, and I always will. But when I woke up that morning . . . you were gone . . . And to make matters worse, if they could have been then, I saw you, calmly walking away."

"Wha . . . you saw me?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Why didn't . . ." It was an unneeded question. It was obvious why he didn't stop him. "Duo, I-"

"I only want to know one thing, Heero. You don't need to say anything more than that. Why did you leave? Was it because of something I did . . . or said? What was it that clinched your decision to leave?"

The question was simple. But the answer . . . it could destroy all that remained between them. But it could save it as well.

Where should I begin? And where do I go from there? Heero's words stung his own heart, as he heard a voice much like his own say, It doesn't matter. Say anything. He's giving you the chance that you never gave him. Take it, now, before you lose him forever. "Could we sit down first?" Is that the best you could come up with? Duo turned to him wide-eyed. Why is he looking at me like that?

"Here?"

"It would be more private."

I don't know, Heero. Given what has happened lately whenever you've had me on a bed, I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Then you sit and I'll stand. Fair enough?"

"Oh, alright. But you stand on the opposite side of the bed." His request seemed childish, but he felt it to be a necessary precaution. When he was situated on the right side of the bed once more, he crossed his legs and arms impatiently. "This had better be good, Heero."

"That night after we . . ."

"Slept together, fucked, or whatever you call it."

" . . . you . . ."

"I what?"

"You said . . ."

"I said that I loved you. I know, I was there."

"I . . . I didn't know what to do or what to think, let alone what to . . . feel. You also said you didn't need me to answer, to return your admission. I didn't know how to respond to it. From what I have seen, l-love . . . it fades. It has no real power. I wondered if that's what would happen with you. I know nothing about love. And I never have. I never understood how people could fall in love. What could be so powerful about another being that could cause one to lose all reason? Because of this handicap, I had no way of knowing why you loved me. Or even if it really was love. It's only a word. But I couldn't understand the power that one little word has. And what we don't understand . . . we fear. Me, the soldier code-named Heero Yuy, who was trained to be the Perfect Soldier, was afraid. And of nothing more than one, four letter word. That was unacceptable. Fear gets in the way. It distracts from the mission and causes death. I don't fear Death. I embrace him every time I enter a battle, setting my foot down as a falsely reassuring anchor. It's how we all fight. Every time we're out there, we're searching for him. We want him to take us. We want it all to end, all the pain, all the suffering, and . . . all the fighting. But if the fighting ever does end, we are cheated by Death, and forced to live, what will we do then? What will we have? What will we need? What, then, will we search for? Recently, even when away from battles, I sought the same thing off the battlefield. Where is Death? Why won't he take me? But I now know that Death could not take me, for I am the keeper of Death's heart. Without me, there would be no Death, and there would be no life . . . without you, Duo."

"Wha . . ."

"Before I met you, my mission was to save the colonies. But then, I never understood why I should. What was it that was worth saving? Simply, life. But at the time I did not realize it. I had never lived. Death was and is my life. But then one day, two bolts of lightening pierced the sky. Or should I say my leg and arm? And there was Death, starring me down, and urging me to accept life. Maybe even to love . . . life. And I do. With Death I have learned to love life. You showed me what it was to live. Death is life. You believe yourself to be Death himself. But know this. An angel of Death you may have been born to be, but an angel of life is always what you will be to me."

Duo stared unblinkingly at the Japanese pilot.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Duo?"

"Obviously not," Duo gulped nervously.

"Duo, you are Death and Life as one. You are what I have been searching for. You are the answer. For we would not know or love life, if there was no Death. And because of you as Death, I have come to love you . . . as my life. Ai shiteru, my Dark Angel of Life."

Duo shook his head slowly from side to side, closing his eyes. "No. No, Heero."

"Duo, what . . . I thought . . ."

Duo opened his eyes, red rimmed and glossy they were, and said quietly, "Dammit, Heero. Why'd you have to go and beat me again. I told you, simply though it may have been, and I still mean it when I say it again, I love you, Heero. And nothing, neither pride nor fear, nor my pain or your missions . . ." his lips curled into a smile, " . . . will ever make me feel otherwise."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that," Heero sighed as he covered Duo's mouth with his. Slowly. They had time. Heero broke the kiss.

"Again, you mean," Duo challenged with a grin.

Heero laughed. "Yes, again . . ."

Another kiss. " . . . and again . . ."

A longer kiss. " . . . and again . . ."

A deeper kiss.

"Heero, there's-" All pilots froze in their tracks. At the door, stood a surprised Trowa and Quatre. And behind them . . . a wide eyed Wufei to complete the picture. And all three stared at the two equally shocked embracing pilots.

Heero cleared his throat. "What is it now, Trowa?"

So, I did interrupt something that day. "We just got a message with new orders. You and Duo are to . . ."

"Is it another school assignment?" Duo whined.

"Well, yeah."

"Can you send them a message back? Heero asked calmly.

"Sure. What message?"

"You can tell them that they can take the orders and shove them up their pale, shriveled old-"

"Hey! Hold on a sec, Heero."

"What now, Duo?"

"I kinda feel like taking a little trip. And schools are reportedly slow moving, so the teachers hand out less homework this time of year . . ."

"So?"

"There's always time for homework during class, which leaves time after for. . . alternative activities," Duo winked mischievously.

"Hm. On second thought, Trowa, tell them-"

"You need a few hours to . . . check the equipment."

"Understood." Heero gazed longingly at the pilot next to him. And then, suddenly, smiled. "Ninmu . . . ryoukai."

"I'd never thought I'd be so glad to hear those words again."

"That's our cue!" A previously shocked to silence Quatre blurted out, grabbing Trowa's arm to leave. As the door closed, he smiled and said, "I can't believe it."

"Well, I think it's about time," Wufei observed.

Quatre's smile brightened. "We'd all have to agree with you on that, Wufei."

"Maybe there is some justice left in this world after all," Trowa theorized.

Wufei's eyes shot open. "Justice . . ."

"You did it this time, Trowa."

"It's worth it, Quatre, just knowing that they found each other at last."

Quatre smiled at his tall, loving, beautiful Trowa. How did he ever go through life without him? "I know exactly how they feel," he whispered as his arm encircled Trowa's, leaving the two pilots to explore their newfound love. Now anything was truly possible.

Owari.

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*sniff sniff* You didn't really think that I'd end it all sad, did you? What can I say, I believe that saying, "It is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all," or however it goes. It just so happens that these two end up together . . . this time. But time doesn't end here - even for fictional characters. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I wish we all could find in real life what these two had in these pages.

**New!* Read the mini-sequel/epilogue Mihatsuni and . . .

**ComingSoon** The real sequel, Hokaninanika. Want to read it? The beginning has been written and still needs some tweaking. Overall, it is still unfinished so I could use some feedback/inspiration from you, the reader. :) So, pester me through reviews and emails to: