Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Sufferance ❯ Chapter 4
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Arigatomina 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Hentai / Fantasy / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.08.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.9K | Visits: 399 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Hentai / Fantasy / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.08.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.9K | Visits: 399 | Status: Work In Progress
Category: Gundam Wing, Yaoi, AU
Warnings: shonen ai, slight angst, reference to violence
Pairings: 5+2, 3+4/4+3, will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina
Sufferance
Part 4
No one said a word when Duo entered the room, and his eyes moved from Heero to Wufei. The two boys were standing near the door, and they stepped back without too much haste as they made way for them. He expected to be greeted as even more of a pariah than before, but the only thing on Wufei's face was a hint of concern. And Heero's expression was nearly unreadable, though he had the feeling the boy was assessing him. Quatre and Trowa had followed a few feet behind him, and Duo turned to watch them shut the door. Then he went to his bed and sat down, curling his legs beneath him. Silence filled the room, which suddenly seemed smaller, then the others went to their beds and sat as well.
"I guess it's time for me to come clean," Duo said slowly, blinking and looking down at his hands. He'd clenched them without even noticing, and his knuckles were turning white. No one said anything and he looked up suddenly, frowning at Wufei. "I don't hurt myself." The boy blinked, but Duo grimaced and dropped his eyes again. "Well, not the way you think I do. I don't know an easy way to explain, but the war was my fault."
"Damn it, Duo-" Bright violet eyes cut him off, and Wufei glared but held his peace.
"It's true," Duo murmured, nodding sharply. Feeling cold, he pulled his blanket up around his shoulders and scooted further onto the bed till his back touched the wall. "It sounds crazy, and I know you won't believe it...no one ever believed it until it was too late...but..." A shiver crept over him and he thought briefly of Solo. There was the one person who *had* believed him. The only person who had, and he was dead. "My fault..."
The boy's head had fallen till his face was hidden and Quatre swallowed painfully. "Duo?" His friend looked up, and there was no pretense of a smile now, only wide dark eyes that seemed to fill his face.
"Do you guys have any faith?"
The question came as a surprise, but Quatre nodded quickly, glancing around. "I do."
"I don't believe in God," Heero said coldly. The boy's eyes flicked to him, and he was nearly stunned by the brilliant smile Duo gave him.
"You know, Heero? That almost makes it easier. I wish I didn't. But I do, I always have. When I was a kid I believed in angels, too. I used to watch for them." A small smile flicked over his lips, and Duo ducked his head again. "I thought if I spotted one it would stay with me, talk to me. I prayed a lot, I was raised in a church, but no one ever said anything back and I thought if I had my own angel it would be different." There was silence in his head, and Duo glared suddenly, looking at his friends again. "I don't believe in angels anymore, but I do believe in demons. There's a demon inside me. And six years ago It got out, that's why the war started."
The boy was insane, that was the first thought to cross Wufei's mind. He didn't say it out loud, and after a few seconds he was glad he hadn't. Heero was staring hard at him, and he followed the boy's gaze to his arm where a few specks of red were still visible. As he'd said before, nothing made sense. And he didn't know anything. That meant he couldn't doubt what Duo was saying.
"Duo...I don't understand." The boy snorted softly, and Quatre leaned forward where he sat on his bed. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, I just don't understand why a...demon...would be inside of *you*. Why? And how?"
"That's the worst part," Duo nodded, his eyes dull yet glittering at the same time. "I invited It in. I don't think It had ever been inside a person until I asked It in. If I hadn't done that, the war would never have happened. No one would have had to die."
"Why would you do that?" Quatre asked, not hiding his rampant confusion.
"I was just a kid, I think I was five or six back then. I didn't know what It was. Like I said, I kept looking all over the place for angels. Father Maxwell, the priest who raised me, he said angels watched over everyone so long as they were good." Duo smirked at himself, remembering how naïve he'd been back then. "So I was always looking and one day I heard something that sounded like a person whispering. It was outside the church, near the wall whispering to itself. I should have known there had to be a reason It was *outside* the church, but I didn't. It talked to me, and It was so nice..."
"And you thought it was an angel." Heero didn't really believe anything Duo was saying, but he took it on face value. Duo obviously believed it, and something had manifested itself inside the bathroom. He wouldn't start picking the story about until the boy had told everything. "So you invited it in."
"Yeah, but not at first. At first It just sort of followed me around, just like a guardian angel was supposed to. It's ironic, but that spirit...demon, whatever It is, It confirmed my faith in God. I'd been so good, and then I found It just like the Father said. It wasn't until I heard a sermon about invoking the holy-spirit that I even thought of inviting It into me. But I did it. *I* gave It a host. It still talked to me after that, and It said I was the first person It had ever been inside of. I thought It meant it had just come from heaven and I was its first. I was so stupid."
"You were five then?" Wufei asked, frowning at the longhaired boy. "This was four *years* before the war started? What happened before then?"
"At first, things were just like they were before, except It was always with me. It would listen to the sermons and talk to me about them. It was so curious about everything. It said it didn't remember anything before it met me, and it enjoyed experiencing life through me. We were practically friends..." Wufei and Quatre were staring at him, and he smirked at their dubious expressions. "I know, I don't know why it was so nice at first. I think It started to change when I had my first penance. It was so angry at the priest for hitting me, and I tried to explain about sins, but it wouldn't listen. I'd never seen It angry before, and it scared me a lot." Duo blinked, knowing how weak that made him sound, but he was weak. "I think that was the first time I wondered if It really were an angel. I didn't understand why an angel wouldn't know about penance and paying for sins. We argued for a while, then it stopped talking to me for nearly three years. I thought it was gone, but it wasn't."
"It spent three years inside you without saying a word?" Heero asked, not hiding his disbelief.
"It's very patient," Duo said solemnly. "I was eight when it finally talked to me again, and I remember it nearly scared me to death. Then I remembered, but it was angry again. Father Maxwell decided I was too old not to be going to school, and I was an awkward kid. I got teased a lot because of my clothes, and my hair. You know how kids are. Well, it got bad one day after school and some bullies beat me up on my way home. It was so mad at them, and it tried to make me hurt them back. I'd never felt anything like that before, and now I know it was trying to come forward, to control me. Of course, I wouldn't let it, and then it got mad at me, too. But I was able to hold myself, even then I was stronger than it was. It wanted to *kill* them. That's when I knew it wasn't an angel, or even a spirit. I still didn't know how bad it was that I'd invited it in, but I knew It was a demon.
"Over the next year, It worked on me. It kept telling me how easy it would be to get rid of the people who hurt me, to kill them. I remember I tried to explain about it being a sin to kill, and it was very clever, even then. It actually used the sermons we'd been to, reciting parts of the bible like 'an eye for an eye.' At first it was mostly mad at those kids, every time I saw them it would start pushing at me. But after a while it started to get angry at everyone who was even a little mean to me. If a teacher gave me a bad grade it would curse about how she should die. It just got crazy with the idea of killing, it wanted everyone to die after a while. Then, one day, I guess it got tired of arguing with me, and it said that if I was so weak I couldn't bear to kill then I should die, too. That's when I decided to get help.
"By then, I'd realized it was my fault for inviting it into me, and I decided I should confess. I don't really know what I expected, but I *had* sinned, and confession and penance were supposed to cleanse people of their sins. So I went to confession. I remember, it laughed at me the entire way there. It was so loud in my mind I could barely hear anything else, but I tried to ignore it as much as possible. I confessed, but the priest didn't believe me..."
Two minutes passed before Wufei shifted, uncomfortable with the silence. He could tell from the way Duo had wrapped his arms around himself that he was either hurting physically or emotionally, but he couldn't think of anything to do about it. "Duo?" The boy didn't look up, but his body gave a small shake, then he continued, his voice echoing with a new dullness.
"He thought I was lying, and it would have been a horrible thing to lie in confession if I were lying. I wasn't, but I don't blame him for thinking that I was. That was the worst punishment I'd ever had." Duo smirked, a soft breath escaping his lips that was almost a laugh. "And I didn't even deserve it. The demon was quiet throughout the entire thing, but the moment the priest made me leave, it started up. It was disgusted with me, for being so weak that I hadn't held to the truth. I didn't know it then, but it had no problem with the priests knowing about its presence. It was angry that I'd yielded so easily. Then it started trying the same thing on me. It said if I would give in to the priest I would give in to it, too. That's when it started to hurt me, trying to get its way, to get me to let it kill. I had no idea how much power I held over it. But I wasn't even nine yet, I couldn't take more than a few days of it. I decided to go somewhere else for help.
"For as long as I can remember, Father Maxwell was the one supervising me, he was the one who raised me more than any of the other priests. So I went to him, and I told him everything. And he sent me back to confession."
"No..."
Duo raised his head, giving a pained smile to Quatre. It was nice to have someone sympathize with him, but he didn't deserve it. "I didn't *have* to go. It was my choice. And he had a good argument. I know he thought I was making it up, I knew that then, too. He said that God *does* sometimes punish people through pain, but that I shouldn't hurt myself. He thought the same thing as Wufei." The black-haired boy looked away sharply, and Duo shook his head. "It's okay. Father Maxwell told me that I was probably feeling guilty over something and that this demon I imagined was really myself trying to punish the sins I was unable to confess. If I confessed them, I could receive God's punishment and I wouldn't hurt anymore. It may sound strange now, but it made sense to me then. So I went back, and I don't think I've ever been braver than I was back then. It was the same priest from the last time, and I knew he wouldn't believe me that time either. But I didn't want the demon to be right. I didn't want to give in because of a little pain. I was so determined to tell the truth and have it believed.
"I think the beating went on for nearly thirty minutes before I snapped. It wasn't even the demon, I just got so angry at the man. I was frustrated. You have to understand, I hadn't been able to sleep for days, and It tormented me all the time. And...the priest kept telling me not to lie. I never lie. So I got angry and I screamed at him. He was using a rod, and I remember I grabbed it and I think that surprised him, he wasn't expecting it. But he shoved me off and I hit the edge of the box so hard that I couldn't think for a minute. That was all It needed. The next thing I knew I was on top of the priest and I was strangling him. But it wasn't me, I never could have had the strength to do that. The demon had come forward, and I almost killed the man before I finally got control again. I don't remember much that happened after that, but I think the priest knocked me out.
"That's when the end came. The priest told Father Maxwell what I'd said and how I'd attacked him, and the others started to talk about an exorcism. But only a few actually believed I was possessed. They *did* think I was dangerous, though, and they had me restrained. I'm not sure how long that lasted, probably for a month or so. They kept me tied in a room for a long time, and It went crazy with hate for everyone, mostly me. That's when it wanted out. It wanted to kill the priests, but it didn't plan to stop there. It told me how it would kill everybody, and I knew it was my fault. I was so miserable, and it used my guilt, but pain was easier. I can't remember everything it did to hurt me, but the more it did, the weaker my control was. It started to do things outside of me. It could move things. Not people, just objects, but that was enough to tell me how powerful it was and I tried to control it as much as possible. But the priests could see my bruises, the cuts, and they knew I hadn't done it, not with my hands tied up. So they called an exorcist in, and after a while he came.
"I was so tired by then, I could hardly sleep at all, it was so desperate to get out, and I didn't even know who the man was until I realized the demon was speaking through me. I tried to tell him not to do it, but It controlled him somehow. That was the first time it had been able to control a human, but the man started to say something. He was reading from a book, I don't think it was the bible. Everything was so confusing after that. I remember trying to hold it down, to keep it from getting out where it could hurt and kill people. I used every bit of energy I had, and I could hear it screaming outside of me, not quite free. Then I couldn't see anything and there was an explosion. The next thing I remember, it was gone and the priest who'd done the exorcism was dead. That's when the war started."
"And this demon is the reason for the war?" Quatre asked, wetting his lips as he tried to hide his nervousness. The story was too farfetched. It was unbelievable. But so was the story Heero and Wufei had told about the bathroom.
"The war didn't hit the church while I was still there," Duo said, "but I left eventually. I know it got stronger from being inside of me, it had never been able to touch things physically before it met me. I know now that it jumped from person to person, going for those with military power. It could have killed everyone itself, but that would have taken much longer. You guys know how the war went, nuclear weapons showed up *everywhere* and were used all over the world. The reason so many countries had them was because It controlled people in America and other countries, It sent those weapons to underdeveloped countries, then went there and made people use them. I guess It could have simply had people bomb themselves, but this way other countries retaliated without It having to be there. It was merely a catalyst at first, then it was the oxygen feeding the fire, keeping the war going."
"Why did the war end, then?" Heero asked, his expression blank. "And why did you say the demon is inside of you *now*?"
"That's *why* the war ended. I spent two years chasing the thing. Every time we got close to it, it would kill the person it was inside of and jump to someone else. Finally...it..." Duo's face went ashen, and he tightened his fists for a second before shaking his head. "It didn't have anywhere to go except inside me. And that's why it's there now. The reason I have bruises isn't because I hurt myself, it's because I will *never* let it go again, and it knows that."
"And your nightmares?" Quatre asked softly. He didn't want to, his mind rebelled against it, but he couldn't help but believe the boy. He did believe him.
"I never slept much as a kid, so I don't know if things were different then, but now it takes me places when I'm asleep. I don't have any control when I'm asleep, so that's when it works on me the most. I don't know what you guys saw earlier, but it's never done anything to anyone but me when I'm asleep. And most of that isn't real anyway."
"We saw blood," Heero commented, "but nothing happened to any of us while you were dreaming. And the blood disappeared when you woke up."
"Oh. Well, I guess that's not so bad, then. I mean, I'm sorry for scaring you guys, but I thought it was worse than that. When I'm asleep it has control. The only thing it can't do is get free."
"It tried to kill you?"
Duo blinked in surprise, looking over at Trowa. The tall boy had been completely silent up until now, and he gave a tiny smile for the boy's straightforward expression. "That was a mistake on its part. I guess it's tied to me so much that if I die, it goes to hell with me. It's never tried to kill me since then, and it's been careful lately not to do anything too damaging. Most of my injuries are just in my dreams."
"What happened in the bathroom?" Wufei shook his head at him, but Heero's eyes were on Duo. "Quatre said you don't remember."
"I..." Duo stared at the boy for a moment, then looked at Quatre. "Something happened?"
"Wufei and Heero went in there, and they touched the ceiling where you were hiding. Do you remember that?" Quatre could tell from the way the boy's eyes widened that he didn't.
Fear was creeping over him again, and Duo's head snapped over so he could look between Heero and Wufei. "You guys found me? You...you didn't push on the segment...that wasn't you..." His throat was closing on him, and he winced when a throaty chuckle resounded in his mind. "No...what happened?"
"So you do remember."
"I thought it was..." Duo blinked quickly as his eyes grew damp. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what happened, but I thought it was the adults. There are cameras in the halls and when I learned that I thought the person pushing on the segment was one of them. I thought they were going to lock me up, I panicked..."
"The mirrors and the lights shattered," Heero said calmly, his voice matter-of-fact as if he hadn't been cowed by the phenomena. "And the stalls bent outward. When we reached the hall everything had gone back to normal. We tried again, and Wufei called to you that time. The mirror broke again and that's when we went to get Quatre." The violet-eyed boy looked as if he wanted to curl up in a corner, and Heero was glad he'd decided to leave out the part about the large chunk of glass that had nearly skewered Wufei. Duo didn't look as if he could take that bit of information at the moment.
"I'm sorry..."
"It's not your fault," Wufei said roughly, shooting a glare at Heero. "If you don't remember anything, then it must have been the demon."
"You believe me?!"
Duo's eyes were so wide, his shock evident, and Wufei was taken back by it. Sure, he'd doubted the story at first, but it was the only explanation they had and Duo obviously had gone through a traumatic experience. If what he'd told them was true, then he needed to be believed. Wufei would give him that. "Yes, I do."
"Of course," Quatre said quickly. "You never lie." The boy blinked once, then a smile curved his lips, lighting up his face in a way he'd never seen before. "Trowa?"
"What he says makes sense in a way, and I see no reason to doubt him. Faith and spiritual beliefs aside, there are many unexplained things in this world. A demon does explain the war."
Heero stared at the tall boy for a long moment, taking in his conviction. "Right." There was no evidence to disprove what Duo had said, and there was *plenty* of evidence to substantiate his story. "There is nothing to disprove you," he said to Duo.
"That doesn't mean I'm telling the truth," Duo said slowly, his smile calming some. He didn't blame the boy for being cautious, and he was still elated that his new friends believed him.
"You said you don't lie," Heero returned, raising an eyebrow. Duo's eyes narrowed for a second, then he nodded sharply.
"No, I don't."
* * *
TBC
Warnings: shonen ai, slight angst, reference to violence
Pairings: 5+2, 3+4/4+3, will be 1x2, 5x2, 1x5x2, 3x4
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina
Sufferance
Part 4
No one said a word when Duo entered the room, and his eyes moved from Heero to Wufei. The two boys were standing near the door, and they stepped back without too much haste as they made way for them. He expected to be greeted as even more of a pariah than before, but the only thing on Wufei's face was a hint of concern. And Heero's expression was nearly unreadable, though he had the feeling the boy was assessing him. Quatre and Trowa had followed a few feet behind him, and Duo turned to watch them shut the door. Then he went to his bed and sat down, curling his legs beneath him. Silence filled the room, which suddenly seemed smaller, then the others went to their beds and sat as well.
"I guess it's time for me to come clean," Duo said slowly, blinking and looking down at his hands. He'd clenched them without even noticing, and his knuckles were turning white. No one said anything and he looked up suddenly, frowning at Wufei. "I don't hurt myself." The boy blinked, but Duo grimaced and dropped his eyes again. "Well, not the way you think I do. I don't know an easy way to explain, but the war was my fault."
"Damn it, Duo-" Bright violet eyes cut him off, and Wufei glared but held his peace.
"It's true," Duo murmured, nodding sharply. Feeling cold, he pulled his blanket up around his shoulders and scooted further onto the bed till his back touched the wall. "It sounds crazy, and I know you won't believe it...no one ever believed it until it was too late...but..." A shiver crept over him and he thought briefly of Solo. There was the one person who *had* believed him. The only person who had, and he was dead. "My fault..."
The boy's head had fallen till his face was hidden and Quatre swallowed painfully. "Duo?" His friend looked up, and there was no pretense of a smile now, only wide dark eyes that seemed to fill his face.
"Do you guys have any faith?"
The question came as a surprise, but Quatre nodded quickly, glancing around. "I do."
"I don't believe in God," Heero said coldly. The boy's eyes flicked to him, and he was nearly stunned by the brilliant smile Duo gave him.
"You know, Heero? That almost makes it easier. I wish I didn't. But I do, I always have. When I was a kid I believed in angels, too. I used to watch for them." A small smile flicked over his lips, and Duo ducked his head again. "I thought if I spotted one it would stay with me, talk to me. I prayed a lot, I was raised in a church, but no one ever said anything back and I thought if I had my own angel it would be different." There was silence in his head, and Duo glared suddenly, looking at his friends again. "I don't believe in angels anymore, but I do believe in demons. There's a demon inside me. And six years ago It got out, that's why the war started."
The boy was insane, that was the first thought to cross Wufei's mind. He didn't say it out loud, and after a few seconds he was glad he hadn't. Heero was staring hard at him, and he followed the boy's gaze to his arm where a few specks of red were still visible. As he'd said before, nothing made sense. And he didn't know anything. That meant he couldn't doubt what Duo was saying.
"Duo...I don't understand." The boy snorted softly, and Quatre leaned forward where he sat on his bed. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, I just don't understand why a...demon...would be inside of *you*. Why? And how?"
"That's the worst part," Duo nodded, his eyes dull yet glittering at the same time. "I invited It in. I don't think It had ever been inside a person until I asked It in. If I hadn't done that, the war would never have happened. No one would have had to die."
"Why would you do that?" Quatre asked, not hiding his rampant confusion.
"I was just a kid, I think I was five or six back then. I didn't know what It was. Like I said, I kept looking all over the place for angels. Father Maxwell, the priest who raised me, he said angels watched over everyone so long as they were good." Duo smirked at himself, remembering how naïve he'd been back then. "So I was always looking and one day I heard something that sounded like a person whispering. It was outside the church, near the wall whispering to itself. I should have known there had to be a reason It was *outside* the church, but I didn't. It talked to me, and It was so nice..."
"And you thought it was an angel." Heero didn't really believe anything Duo was saying, but he took it on face value. Duo obviously believed it, and something had manifested itself inside the bathroom. He wouldn't start picking the story about until the boy had told everything. "So you invited it in."
"Yeah, but not at first. At first It just sort of followed me around, just like a guardian angel was supposed to. It's ironic, but that spirit...demon, whatever It is, It confirmed my faith in God. I'd been so good, and then I found It just like the Father said. It wasn't until I heard a sermon about invoking the holy-spirit that I even thought of inviting It into me. But I did it. *I* gave It a host. It still talked to me after that, and It said I was the first person It had ever been inside of. I thought It meant it had just come from heaven and I was its first. I was so stupid."
"You were five then?" Wufei asked, frowning at the longhaired boy. "This was four *years* before the war started? What happened before then?"
"At first, things were just like they were before, except It was always with me. It would listen to the sermons and talk to me about them. It was so curious about everything. It said it didn't remember anything before it met me, and it enjoyed experiencing life through me. We were practically friends..." Wufei and Quatre were staring at him, and he smirked at their dubious expressions. "I know, I don't know why it was so nice at first. I think It started to change when I had my first penance. It was so angry at the priest for hitting me, and I tried to explain about sins, but it wouldn't listen. I'd never seen It angry before, and it scared me a lot." Duo blinked, knowing how weak that made him sound, but he was weak. "I think that was the first time I wondered if It really were an angel. I didn't understand why an angel wouldn't know about penance and paying for sins. We argued for a while, then it stopped talking to me for nearly three years. I thought it was gone, but it wasn't."
"It spent three years inside you without saying a word?" Heero asked, not hiding his disbelief.
"It's very patient," Duo said solemnly. "I was eight when it finally talked to me again, and I remember it nearly scared me to death. Then I remembered, but it was angry again. Father Maxwell decided I was too old not to be going to school, and I was an awkward kid. I got teased a lot because of my clothes, and my hair. You know how kids are. Well, it got bad one day after school and some bullies beat me up on my way home. It was so mad at them, and it tried to make me hurt them back. I'd never felt anything like that before, and now I know it was trying to come forward, to control me. Of course, I wouldn't let it, and then it got mad at me, too. But I was able to hold myself, even then I was stronger than it was. It wanted to *kill* them. That's when I knew it wasn't an angel, or even a spirit. I still didn't know how bad it was that I'd invited it in, but I knew It was a demon.
"Over the next year, It worked on me. It kept telling me how easy it would be to get rid of the people who hurt me, to kill them. I remember I tried to explain about it being a sin to kill, and it was very clever, even then. It actually used the sermons we'd been to, reciting parts of the bible like 'an eye for an eye.' At first it was mostly mad at those kids, every time I saw them it would start pushing at me. But after a while it started to get angry at everyone who was even a little mean to me. If a teacher gave me a bad grade it would curse about how she should die. It just got crazy with the idea of killing, it wanted everyone to die after a while. Then, one day, I guess it got tired of arguing with me, and it said that if I was so weak I couldn't bear to kill then I should die, too. That's when I decided to get help.
"By then, I'd realized it was my fault for inviting it into me, and I decided I should confess. I don't really know what I expected, but I *had* sinned, and confession and penance were supposed to cleanse people of their sins. So I went to confession. I remember, it laughed at me the entire way there. It was so loud in my mind I could barely hear anything else, but I tried to ignore it as much as possible. I confessed, but the priest didn't believe me..."
Two minutes passed before Wufei shifted, uncomfortable with the silence. He could tell from the way Duo had wrapped his arms around himself that he was either hurting physically or emotionally, but he couldn't think of anything to do about it. "Duo?" The boy didn't look up, but his body gave a small shake, then he continued, his voice echoing with a new dullness.
"He thought I was lying, and it would have been a horrible thing to lie in confession if I were lying. I wasn't, but I don't blame him for thinking that I was. That was the worst punishment I'd ever had." Duo smirked, a soft breath escaping his lips that was almost a laugh. "And I didn't even deserve it. The demon was quiet throughout the entire thing, but the moment the priest made me leave, it started up. It was disgusted with me, for being so weak that I hadn't held to the truth. I didn't know it then, but it had no problem with the priests knowing about its presence. It was angry that I'd yielded so easily. Then it started trying the same thing on me. It said if I would give in to the priest I would give in to it, too. That's when it started to hurt me, trying to get its way, to get me to let it kill. I had no idea how much power I held over it. But I wasn't even nine yet, I couldn't take more than a few days of it. I decided to go somewhere else for help.
"For as long as I can remember, Father Maxwell was the one supervising me, he was the one who raised me more than any of the other priests. So I went to him, and I told him everything. And he sent me back to confession."
"No..."
Duo raised his head, giving a pained smile to Quatre. It was nice to have someone sympathize with him, but he didn't deserve it. "I didn't *have* to go. It was my choice. And he had a good argument. I know he thought I was making it up, I knew that then, too. He said that God *does* sometimes punish people through pain, but that I shouldn't hurt myself. He thought the same thing as Wufei." The black-haired boy looked away sharply, and Duo shook his head. "It's okay. Father Maxwell told me that I was probably feeling guilty over something and that this demon I imagined was really myself trying to punish the sins I was unable to confess. If I confessed them, I could receive God's punishment and I wouldn't hurt anymore. It may sound strange now, but it made sense to me then. So I went back, and I don't think I've ever been braver than I was back then. It was the same priest from the last time, and I knew he wouldn't believe me that time either. But I didn't want the demon to be right. I didn't want to give in because of a little pain. I was so determined to tell the truth and have it believed.
"I think the beating went on for nearly thirty minutes before I snapped. It wasn't even the demon, I just got so angry at the man. I was frustrated. You have to understand, I hadn't been able to sleep for days, and It tormented me all the time. And...the priest kept telling me not to lie. I never lie. So I got angry and I screamed at him. He was using a rod, and I remember I grabbed it and I think that surprised him, he wasn't expecting it. But he shoved me off and I hit the edge of the box so hard that I couldn't think for a minute. That was all It needed. The next thing I knew I was on top of the priest and I was strangling him. But it wasn't me, I never could have had the strength to do that. The demon had come forward, and I almost killed the man before I finally got control again. I don't remember much that happened after that, but I think the priest knocked me out.
"That's when the end came. The priest told Father Maxwell what I'd said and how I'd attacked him, and the others started to talk about an exorcism. But only a few actually believed I was possessed. They *did* think I was dangerous, though, and they had me restrained. I'm not sure how long that lasted, probably for a month or so. They kept me tied in a room for a long time, and It went crazy with hate for everyone, mostly me. That's when it wanted out. It wanted to kill the priests, but it didn't plan to stop there. It told me how it would kill everybody, and I knew it was my fault. I was so miserable, and it used my guilt, but pain was easier. I can't remember everything it did to hurt me, but the more it did, the weaker my control was. It started to do things outside of me. It could move things. Not people, just objects, but that was enough to tell me how powerful it was and I tried to control it as much as possible. But the priests could see my bruises, the cuts, and they knew I hadn't done it, not with my hands tied up. So they called an exorcist in, and after a while he came.
"I was so tired by then, I could hardly sleep at all, it was so desperate to get out, and I didn't even know who the man was until I realized the demon was speaking through me. I tried to tell him not to do it, but It controlled him somehow. That was the first time it had been able to control a human, but the man started to say something. He was reading from a book, I don't think it was the bible. Everything was so confusing after that. I remember trying to hold it down, to keep it from getting out where it could hurt and kill people. I used every bit of energy I had, and I could hear it screaming outside of me, not quite free. Then I couldn't see anything and there was an explosion. The next thing I remember, it was gone and the priest who'd done the exorcism was dead. That's when the war started."
"And this demon is the reason for the war?" Quatre asked, wetting his lips as he tried to hide his nervousness. The story was too farfetched. It was unbelievable. But so was the story Heero and Wufei had told about the bathroom.
"The war didn't hit the church while I was still there," Duo said, "but I left eventually. I know it got stronger from being inside of me, it had never been able to touch things physically before it met me. I know now that it jumped from person to person, going for those with military power. It could have killed everyone itself, but that would have taken much longer. You guys know how the war went, nuclear weapons showed up *everywhere* and were used all over the world. The reason so many countries had them was because It controlled people in America and other countries, It sent those weapons to underdeveloped countries, then went there and made people use them. I guess It could have simply had people bomb themselves, but this way other countries retaliated without It having to be there. It was merely a catalyst at first, then it was the oxygen feeding the fire, keeping the war going."
"Why did the war end, then?" Heero asked, his expression blank. "And why did you say the demon is inside of you *now*?"
"That's *why* the war ended. I spent two years chasing the thing. Every time we got close to it, it would kill the person it was inside of and jump to someone else. Finally...it..." Duo's face went ashen, and he tightened his fists for a second before shaking his head. "It didn't have anywhere to go except inside me. And that's why it's there now. The reason I have bruises isn't because I hurt myself, it's because I will *never* let it go again, and it knows that."
"And your nightmares?" Quatre asked softly. He didn't want to, his mind rebelled against it, but he couldn't help but believe the boy. He did believe him.
"I never slept much as a kid, so I don't know if things were different then, but now it takes me places when I'm asleep. I don't have any control when I'm asleep, so that's when it works on me the most. I don't know what you guys saw earlier, but it's never done anything to anyone but me when I'm asleep. And most of that isn't real anyway."
"We saw blood," Heero commented, "but nothing happened to any of us while you were dreaming. And the blood disappeared when you woke up."
"Oh. Well, I guess that's not so bad, then. I mean, I'm sorry for scaring you guys, but I thought it was worse than that. When I'm asleep it has control. The only thing it can't do is get free."
"It tried to kill you?"
Duo blinked in surprise, looking over at Trowa. The tall boy had been completely silent up until now, and he gave a tiny smile for the boy's straightforward expression. "That was a mistake on its part. I guess it's tied to me so much that if I die, it goes to hell with me. It's never tried to kill me since then, and it's been careful lately not to do anything too damaging. Most of my injuries are just in my dreams."
"What happened in the bathroom?" Wufei shook his head at him, but Heero's eyes were on Duo. "Quatre said you don't remember."
"I..." Duo stared at the boy for a moment, then looked at Quatre. "Something happened?"
"Wufei and Heero went in there, and they touched the ceiling where you were hiding. Do you remember that?" Quatre could tell from the way the boy's eyes widened that he didn't.
Fear was creeping over him again, and Duo's head snapped over so he could look between Heero and Wufei. "You guys found me? You...you didn't push on the segment...that wasn't you..." His throat was closing on him, and he winced when a throaty chuckle resounded in his mind. "No...what happened?"
"So you do remember."
"I thought it was..." Duo blinked quickly as his eyes grew damp. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what happened, but I thought it was the adults. There are cameras in the halls and when I learned that I thought the person pushing on the segment was one of them. I thought they were going to lock me up, I panicked..."
"The mirrors and the lights shattered," Heero said calmly, his voice matter-of-fact as if he hadn't been cowed by the phenomena. "And the stalls bent outward. When we reached the hall everything had gone back to normal. We tried again, and Wufei called to you that time. The mirror broke again and that's when we went to get Quatre." The violet-eyed boy looked as if he wanted to curl up in a corner, and Heero was glad he'd decided to leave out the part about the large chunk of glass that had nearly skewered Wufei. Duo didn't look as if he could take that bit of information at the moment.
"I'm sorry..."
"It's not your fault," Wufei said roughly, shooting a glare at Heero. "If you don't remember anything, then it must have been the demon."
"You believe me?!"
Duo's eyes were so wide, his shock evident, and Wufei was taken back by it. Sure, he'd doubted the story at first, but it was the only explanation they had and Duo obviously had gone through a traumatic experience. If what he'd told them was true, then he needed to be believed. Wufei would give him that. "Yes, I do."
"Of course," Quatre said quickly. "You never lie." The boy blinked once, then a smile curved his lips, lighting up his face in a way he'd never seen before. "Trowa?"
"What he says makes sense in a way, and I see no reason to doubt him. Faith and spiritual beliefs aside, there are many unexplained things in this world. A demon does explain the war."
Heero stared at the tall boy for a long moment, taking in his conviction. "Right." There was no evidence to disprove what Duo had said, and there was *plenty* of evidence to substantiate his story. "There is nothing to disprove you," he said to Duo.
"That doesn't mean I'm telling the truth," Duo said slowly, his smile calming some. He didn't blame the boy for being cautious, and he was still elated that his new friends believed him.
"You said you don't lie," Heero returned, raising an eyebrow. Duo's eyes narrowed for a second, then he nodded sharply.
"No, I don't."
* * *
TBC