Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Family Curse Arc ❯ Breaking Down ( Chapter 7 )

Warning: Angst, Possible OCC, Yaoi, Blood, Attempted Suicide

Disclaimer: I don't own the GW boys or Puddle of Mudd's "Blurry".

~Lyrics~

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Breaking Down

The death of her baby sent Faith into a deep depression. Even Karl couldn't seem to cheer her. In the days following, Faith said little to nothing and did little beyond cry and listen to music while rocking a doll in her arms. She didn't even eat. Although the whole family worried for her health and sanity, there was little that could be done.

The funeral was a small affair. Everyone was truly saddened by the loss of yet another innocent life. Faith finally spoke and asked for a few minutes alone to say her good-byes.

~ Everything's so blurry

and everyone's so fake

and everybody's empty

and everything is so messed up~

Faith kneeled by the small head stone. A tiny pink ribbon was tied around the neck of the lamb on top. She reached forward to straighten it, trying not to sob.

~ pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl~

She ran her fingers over the neatly carved letters.

Ophelia Maxwell

August 3, AC 212

She Never Knew The

Peace We Made For Her.

~ You could be my someone

you could be my sea

you know that I'll protect you

from all of the obscene~

That's when she lost her composure. Sobbing, she pulled her dagger (1) from her purse. She pricked her finger and retraced each letter; filling them with her blood and watching it flow down the stone.

~ I wonder what you're doing

imagine where you are

there's oceans in between us

but that's not very far~

"What's it like over there my baby? Are you happy? Do you need your mommy?" Faith sat silent for a moment as if lessoning to something. "Ok sweetie. Mommy's coming." Taking the dagger I hand again, she slit up each arm and crossed them at her wrists. She stared at her arms as the blood fell and mingled with the freshly turned earth in front of her. "That's funny. I don't feel a thing. I was sure it would hurt more."

~ Can you take it all away

can you take it all away

well ya shoved it in my face~

Duo walked back into the cemetery, wondering what was taking Faith so long. He found her unconscious body laying across the top of Ophelia's grave, weak from blood loss, but still alive. Grabbing up her limp body, he rushed back to the car and the shocked family headed straight for the emergency room.

~ Can you take it all away

can you take it all away

well ya shoved it my face~

Faith awoke with the dawn the next morning in the hospital. Karl was asleep in the chair next to her bed and Heero and Duo lay across the other bed. She stared at the IV in her arm and the bandages wrapped around her wrists. Her sob broke the silence.

~ Everyone is changing

there's no one left that's real

to make up your own ending

and let me know just how you feel~

Three heads shot up. Faith closed her eyes, knowing what was coming. She sighed. "Mission failed." Karl grabbed Faith's hand. "Why love? Why?" Faith turned her head away, refusing to look him in the eye. "I don't know why I did it. Maybe it just seemed right." Tears coursed down her face. "I wasn't thinking clearly." She looked over at Heero and Duo. "I'm sorry. I was being stupid and selfish."

~ cause I am lost without you

I cannot live at all

my whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl~

Duo got up and put his hands on her shoulders. "Your right. You were being selfish." He pointed at her bandaged wrists. "That is the coward's way out (2). You are not a coward. Think next time Faith. Think." Faith simply lowered her head.

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Faith was cleared to go home the next day. A few days passes and she seemed to really be trying to get better. She started to eat again. She started joking around and her smile even returned. But Karl could see below the surface. He knew that she was still in a great deal of pain.

~ You could be my someone

you could be my sea

you know that I will save you

from all of the unclean~

He wanted to do something, anything to make her feel better. But he just didn't know what to do. He felt so distanced from her. Like he was standing on one cliff and she was huddled on the other. He could see her, but do nothing to help.

~ I wonder what you're doing

I wonder where you are

There's oceans in between us

but that's not very far~

Duo felt just as helpless. He knew what his daughter was feeling. He idly rubbed the scars on the inside of his own wrists as he thought. He just didn't know how to reach out to her. He wanted to tell her everything. Let her cry on his shoulder. Maybe even cry with her. But every time he saw the bandages on her wrists, an anger he couldn't explain flared up within him.

~ Nobody told me what you thought

nobody told me what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

told you when to runaway~

It took Faith two weeks to make up her mind. She had to get away. This house, her family, she simply couldn't take it all right then. She didn't know what they were thinking or how they were feeling, but she feared it was purely pity. She just couldn't take that. The only thing left to do was decide where to go. She knew that she had to be very careful. If she wasn't, Heero would easily find her and they would probably just drag her home. She wasn't sure if she wanted to die anymore, but she was sure that if she stayed there much longer she would.

~ nobody told you where to hide

nobody told you what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

showed you when to runaway~

When night came she quietly pack what few things she thought she would need. Clothing, weapons, pictures, and of course, Peace Moose. When everyone else was sleeping she slipped down the stairs and dropped her bags next to the door. She had one more thing to do.

~ Can you take it all away

can you take it all away

well ya shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me~

Using every bit of stealth she had learned, she went into Karl's room. She didn't want to leave him with no expansion. She took off his engagement ring and dropped it in an envelope with a note. His name was clearly printed on the outside. With a soft kiss to his forehead, she slipped out of his room, out of the house, and out of his life.

~Can you take it all away

can you take it all away

well ya shoved it my face

This pain you gave to me~

Karl was the first to awaken the next morning. He instantly found the note next to his bed. He tore open the envelope, pulled out the note and palmed the ring within. Tears stung his eyes as he read the note.

My dearest Karl,

I'm so sorry it had to be this way. I just can't stay here any longer. Never doubt that I love you with all my heart. You were my one true comfort through everything. I leave this ring with you in the hope that with time, I may come back to you and reclaim it. If you can find it in your heart, forgive me. Give my love to Otosan and Daddy. I don't mean to hurt any of you. I just need some time to clear my head and find myself.

With all my heart,

Faith Duet Maxwell

P.S. Ia illwa etla ouya owkna erewha Ia ama enwha Ia etga ettledsa. Oda otna etla eithera ofa oura adsda owkna erewha Ia ama. Ia illwa eepka ina ouchta. Ia ovela ouya. (3)

~ You take it all

You take it all away...

This pain you gave to me

You take it all away

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me~

Karl nodded and brushed the tears from his eyes. "Ok love. I trust you. We will be together one day"

Duo did not reach so well. "What do you mean she's gone? Where? When?" He paced around the living room. Heero reached up as he passed and pulled him down onto the couch. "She needs some time. I'm sure when she has her head together she'll come home with bells on. Relax Duo. You know very well she can take care of herself." Duo jumped back up. "She tried to kill herself two weeks ago. What going to stop her from trying again?" Karl held up the note again. "Because she said she wants to come back someday. I trust her to do just that. She's been through a lot in the last few months. We tried to give her time away at Mom's house. Maybe she just needs to go farther." Duo slumped back own next to Heero and sighed. "You're probably right. I still don't have to like it." Heero hugged him. "That's the way. Give her time. I'll try to find her so we can keep tabs, but we leave her alone unless she really needs us. Ok?" Duo sighed again and nodded.

2BC…

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1. Yes the same dagger as before.

2. This is what my dad said to me after I attempted to kill myself.

3. I will let you know where I am when I get settled. Don't let either if out dads know where I am. I will keep in touch. I love you. (In Pig Latin)

A/N: ok bad day. What can I say? (Hey that rhymed. I'm a poet and… never mind) PLEASE send me reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!