Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Guides to Life ❯ Heero Yuy’s Guide to Life ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Heero Yuy's Guide to Life




Eh, heh… This has absolutely no purpose to it but was created for inferior amusement ^^;; If you don't like what I doing, then I suggest that you don't read the rest of the 'series'… All flames shall be duly ignored and burned.

Heero Yuy's Guide to Life
By Kaen-chan ^-^v



Self-motivation phrase-

::Heero Yuy Death Glare™ on full force & monotone voice::… Die, die, die, die, die…


What to say everyday-

To a very persistent royal pain who purposefully stalks you:
~Omae o korosu

To an extremely talkative braided pilot:
~Hn
~Baka
~Urusai
~You talk too much
~Omae o korosu

To your everyday insane scientists:
~Ninmu ryoukai
~Ninmu kanryou

To anybody who is stupid enough to get near you:
~…(starts low but increases in volume swiftly)… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (after blasting)


What to do everyday-

To a very persistent royal pain who purposefully stalks you:
~Shoot her
~Hang her
~Trample her with Wing Gundam Zero Custom
~Stab her with a beam saber
~Stab her with a regular fencing epée
~Shoot her again…
~Implant an explosive device in any gift she receives
~Push her out a hospital window and see how she fares {I like that idea ^-^}

To an extremely talkative braided pilot:
~Steal his Gundam's main parts
~Shoot his Fluffy… Twice
~Lock him in the bathroom if you discover he has been using your shampoo
~Leave on a mission without telling him that you've borrowed his DSH
~Shoot him…Twice (retaliation)
~Challenge him to a game of chess

To your everyday insane scientists:
~Listen to their ideals and whims, obey them, then sue them for not allowing you to shoot a certain royal pain
~Shoot them

To anybody who is stupid enough to get near you:
~Using a beam cannon, obliterate
~Using a beam saber, skewer
~Using self-detonation device, total annihilation


What to do in case-

A very persistent royal pain who purposefully stalks you actually finds you:
~Give her one warning…
~If the Omae o korosu isn't heeded, transfer or escape
~If she finds you again, impale her with your Gundam's shield (Do NOT miss)

Duo and Wufei get into another argument:
~Threaten to shoot them
~Shoot off one inch of Duo's braid and a hole into that justice freak's katana

Any OZ or Mariemeia's soldiers find you:
~Kill yourself (of course you won't die ^^;;)
~Use the twin beam cannons and operation extermination can be set into progress…
~Challenge them to a game of chess

A very bored and vicious little fanfic author gets strange ideas:
~Knowing that you are her favorite… Quietly request for a Relena extermination
~Ask her to delete this wretched file…

Don't miss the next part of this 'series'… Duo Maxwell's Guide to Life!

'~Owari~'

Ka-chan: Heh, gomen mina-san, but I was really bored and in need of something to do…
Duo: I just have one question…
Ka-chan: What?
Duo: ::Drags a sobbing Wufei and holds up a lock of chestnut hair soberly:: Did you really have to provide a visual?
Ka-chan: ^^;; Gomen Duo. I was merely attempting to assist in the reader's in their imagination systems.
Wufei: My poor, poor Nataku ::sniffling::
Ka-chan: ::Raises an eyebrow:: He called his katana 'Nataku' ?!?
Duo: Eh… yeah.
Heero: I deleted the file
Ka-chan: ::Looks suspiciously at the homicidal pilot:: Which one?
Heero: ::Shrugs and tells her::
Ka-chan: HEERO!!! THAT WAS MY HOMEWORK ESSAY!!!
Heero: ::Monotone voice:: Gomen…
Ka-chan: ::Looking very upset:: Sayonara…