Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Guides to Life ❯ Duo Maxwell's Guide to Life ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Duo Maxwell's Guide to Life



Okay people, I'm talking Dekiru-chan right know and she really needs some reviews. The Anime Cosplay should be up soon. ::Dark glare:: Look for it, otherwise I'll hunt you down with my glaive and go for your blood… ::Dekiru-chan sweatdrops and pushes a protesting Kaen-chan out of the way:: To be sure, your opinions are greatly need and necessary. ::Kaen-chan pushes her way back in:: NO FLAMES!!!

Duo Maxwell's Guide to Life
By Kaen-chan


Personal motivation phrase-

::Smile, grin, smile::… Die, die, die, die, die…
And… Ore wa Shinigami!!!


What to say everyday-

To a closed mouthed, destructive pilot of Wing Zero Custom:
~Heero, are you human?
~I'm glad that you trust me
~Heero? Can I shoot you again?
~Go ahead Heero, shoot her!
~All bow down to the immortal one ::sarcastically::

To Heero's personal stalker:
~…eww…
~Ohayo ojou-san ::while thinking:: Shine…

To a lavender haired girl who seems to be able to tolerate you more than anybody else could:
~Don't you trust me?
~Can I have your shampoo?

To your Gundam's creator:
~AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To any enemy:
~Anybody stupid enough to get near me dies
~Shinigami is back from h***! Mwuahahahahahaha!
~I'm taking you to h*** with me!

To an easily irritated 05 pilot:
~Here Wu-kun!
~You are a weakling!
~Onna's pet! Onna's pet!


What to do everyday to-

To a closed mouthed, destructive pilot of Wing Zero Custom:
~Shoot him
~Shoot him again… ^-~v
~Scream and rave profanities at him when he totally invades your Gundam
~Steal his shampoo
~Prank call Relena, pretending that you're Heero, and tell her that 'you' like her… Then run like a bat out of jigoku…
~Braid his hair when he's asleep and run like a bat out of h***.

To Heero's personal stalker:
~Save her, but then try to shoot her behind the back
~Tie her to a rocket launcher and…
"Houston, we have lift off"
~If she crashes…
"Houston, we have a problem"

To a lavender haired girl who seems to be able to tolerate you more than anybody else could:
~Throw your ID at her.
~Send her on a suicidal mission.

To your Gundam's creator:
~Wear an army vest incase one of his friends decide to use you as a kickboxing model.
~Thank him for DSH then flee in it like a bat from jigoku.

To any enemy:
~Impale then on your double scythe and then if you are on earth, lay them down gently with their mobile suits intact and tread on them while perfecting your Shinigami-san 2001 wave.
~Shout "Ore wa Shinigami!" and then scare them to death when you put your hair down and do an impression of Usagi.

To an easily irritated 05 pilot:
~Steal his katana… then run like a bat out of jigoku.
~Prank call him and imitate Meiran's voice (if possible) and see his utmost weak manner at play.
~Braid his hair… then run like a bat out of h***.


What to do in case-

Heero and Wufei find out what you did to them:
~Run like a bat out of h***.

You run out of Herbal Essence™ Shampoo (thanks to Dekiru-chan for referring that brand ^-^):
~Steal Trowa's.
~Steal Quatre's.
~Steal Heero's.
~Steal Une's.
~Don't steal Wufei's Pantene ProV.
~Hide them in your Gundam and when the enraged victims come out looking for blood, say that either ~Relena or Wufei did the crime.

DSH gets a horrible 1 mm deep scratch:
~Face it like a man…then destroy every paint shop you come over that would not give you a 200 gallon bucket of paint.

Next up, Trowa Barton's Guide to Life…
~Owari~

Kaen-chan: ::Sighs:: Dekiru-chan will not be happy when she reads the Usagi part…
Duo: I ran out of shampoo again.
Ka-chan: Hey, this is your guide. Follow the advice.
Duo: ::Raises an eyebrow:: Okay…
*One minute later*
Une and Trowa: RELENA PEACECRAFT!!!! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SHAMPOO YOU MALEVOLENT THIEF!!!!!!!!
Kaen-chan: ::Blinks:: That was fast…
*Another minute later*
Heero and Quatre: CHANG WUFEI!!! SHINE TEMAE JUSTICE FREAK!!!
Kaen-chan: ::Jumps up indignantly:: Hey, that's my line!!! ::Grumbles when nobody pays attention:: Omae o korosu…
*Meanwhile*
Duo: ::Trying to shove a pile of Herbal Essence™ bottles into DSH's cockpit::