Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Guides to Life ❯ Trowa Barton's Guide to Life ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Ka-chan: I'm so happy



Ka-chan: I'm so happy! ::Giggles in a strange manner::
De-chan: ::Sweatdrop:: Eh, nande?
Kaen: Because after 5 grueling hours of non stop rebooting and reconnection, I finally finished downloading LOOK AT ME! and Atashiwa Atashi no kazeka fuku!!! ::Blasts the latter on full force:: WAIIIIIII!!!!!!
De-chan: Okaaay… Too much sugar…

Trowa Barton's Guide to Life
By Kaen-chan
::SD figure of Kaen pops up holding a glaive:: No flames! Don't like Relena-bashing, then don't read!

Self-motivation phrase-

::Dead pan look, emotionless expression::… Die, die, die, die, die…
::And::… I'm a happy clown.


What to say everyday-

To your sister who likes to throw knives at you constantly:
~Catherine?… GIVE ME BACK ME HAIR GEL!!!
~Can you go feed lion-san for me? He seems to be craving for something… I'm not sure what…
~Why am I called Triton? I'm a three pronged staff?

To HeavyArms:
~Curse you! Why do you always have to run out of ammo?

To HeavyArms Custom:
~I like you a lot better ::After blowing up a bunch of mobile dolls without running out of bullets::

To the Gundam pilots:
~…
~For battle record 001. Let's say Trowa for now…

To any enemy:
~Call me Nanashi.
~… ::While thinking:: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Feel the rain of sharp little metal missiles pierce and shred you with vigor into bloody pulps!
~Let's see, press this button and you go BOOM!

To Heero's stalker:
~…eww…
~AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO ANYTHING BUT THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!


What to do everyday to-

~To your sister who likes to throw knives at you constantly:
~When she's asleep, plaster her face with that awful makeup that drags your face down… Then she can't ~tell you to 'Smile! Smile!'
~Throw knives at her (Last resort)
~Slap/punch her back
~Steal her book- 'How You Can Make Your Hair Defy the Laws of Gravity' (Catherine's hair is also unnatural!)

To HeavyArms:
~Lend it to Heero, hoping that it will be damaged some way or other.
~Sue Heero after it gets damaged and buy more Herbal Essence and Hair gel.
~Laugh at Duo for not doing the same suing idea when his Gundam detonated. (Arigatou Dekiru-chan for supplementing me with the previous two ideas ^-^v)
~Send it to the sun.

To HeavyArms Custom:
~Pilot it with reverence
~Take lessons from Wufei on how to build a shrine to your Gundam

To the Gundam pilots:
~Ignore them completely

To any enemy:
~Shower them with bullets
~Stab them in the eye with your unibang
~Confuse them with your many names
~Scare them with a picture of Relena you stole from Heero's 'To kill' list

To Heero's stalker:
~Track her down into a fog barrier and start to open fire. Excuse: You couldn't see ^-^
~Trample her then blame it on Heero (Not that he'll mind much)
~Let her get to 'know' lion-san ^-^v


What to do in Case-

~You run out of hair gel:
~Face it like a man, then crawl into the corner and bawl like a child {Gomen Trowa-fans! He's one of my favorite pilots as well, but his hair had to get at least some tormenting! ^^;;}
~Clip it to the side with a barrette
~Use a head band to push it back
~Ask Duo on how to braid it back
~Make an anonymous call to Sakura Kinomoto for her emergency back up defying gravity secret
~Ask her if she has a gel card ^^v {Again arigatou Dekiru-chan for the gel card idea!}
~Steal Wufei's hair gel
~Blame it on Heero
~Laugh (silently of course ^^) while they duke it out

You sister needs target practice:
~Hide out in lion-san's cage
~Say you have to polish your Gundam {Domo De-chan}
~Say you have a hair appointment
~Go to Heero for suicide tips
~{This one is a big Thank you to De-chan} Get Catherine addicted to neo-pets

Something happens to your neo-pet:
~Punch a hole in your computer screen
~Pray for a miracle so that your neo-pet is safe
~Curse Duo for not taking care of it well enough during the time you were gone

~Owari~

Kaen: Oi, that was short ::Sweatdrop:: I don't know why I even bother…
Trowa: ::Ignores her and continues playing with his neo-pet, 'Lion-san'::
Duo: ::Logs onto neo-pets:: Ne Trowa, challenge you!
Trowa: ::Smug smirk:: Alright…
Heero: ::Walks up and gets to his computer:: Mission Accepted. ::Logs onto neo-pets::
Quatre and Wufei: Matte! ::All check on their neo-pets::
Kaen: ::Sweatdrop and disparaging look:: Why am I the only one who does not have a neo-pet? I WANT A SHOYRYU!!!! ::Sniffles::
Dekiru: ::Pats her on the head:: Daijobu ka?
Kaen: Hai hai…
Dekiru: You'll have to excuse her…. Too many chocolates this time…
*The power suddenly goes out*
Gboys: ::All wail:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! MY NEO-PET!!!!!!!!!
Duo: ::Stops wailing:: BWAHAHAHA!!!!! SHINIGAMI THRIVES ON DARKNESS!!!!!
Kaen: ^^;;;;;;
Dekiru: ^^;;;;;;