Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Guides to Life ❯ Quatre R. Winner's Guide to Life ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Kaen-chan: Alright hikari/kasuri… I know who you are, I know where you live, I know what you eat for lunch



Kaen-chan: Alright hikari/kasuri… I know who you are, I know where you live, I know your email address, phone number, what kind of pet you have, and I know what you eat for lunch on weekdays! {Really I do!} Now, give back FLUFFY!!!!!!!! Fluffy was an idea of Dekiru-chan and I… Start turning original yourself… ::Pouts:: Agreed? Good. All flames have to be shredded this time… I must go buy more matches ^-^

Quatre R. Winner's Guide to Life
By Kaen-chan ^-^v


Self-motivation phrase-

*Normal phrase*: Please surrender, resistance is futile
*Zero phrase*: ::Insert weasel laugh:: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ::Cute little puppy dog eyes:: Die, die, die, die, die…


What to say everyday-

To your 29 sisters:
~::Imitate Duo somewhat:: I'm a BOY!!!
~AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! GET THAT BARBIE DOLL AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!
~Touch my either one of my Gundam or camel plushies and I send you to that unpleasantly hot inferno below… {Gomen Dekiru-chan if you seem to find that phrase familiar… But then again, I'm not using a phone to bring out Quatre's true potential ^-^}
~My space heart tells me that I should kill you all… ::Evil weasel laugh:: {You can tell that I'm fonder of the Zero-system Quatre right? ^^;;}

To Dorothy:
~AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU STABBING EYEBROW FREAK!!!!!! {Actually, I don't know if I do have anything against Dorothy… Perhaps her eyebrows are already disturbing enough… Along with the absence of pupils -_-}
~Come near me with any pointy utensil and I swear I'll slice and dice you myself with my sickles! {His Sandrock Custom's sickles are so much bigger! And way cooler…}
~You're much nicer than I am… Wait a minute!!! You just stabbed me! Go to H***!

To Relena Peacecraft:
~You a pacifist? I'm one too! ::Showers her with bullets…:: Oops… Either I'm a hypocrite or I've been around the others to long!
~::Right after he meets Dorothy:: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER BLONDE FREAK!!!!!! I'M NOW TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

To the rest of the pilots:
~We shouldn't be fighting!
~::Duo:: Stay away from my shampoo!

To any enemy:
~Regular- Please surrender…
~Zero- ::Thinks:: I'm messed up right now… Better make the most of it! ::Starts to laugh and blowing up random colonies::
~SHI-NE!!!!


What to do everyday-

To your 29 sisters:
~Destroy their makeup kits if they harm your clothes or Sandrock
~Send them to that unpleasantly hot inferno below…
~Ask them for health funding
~Ask Trowa to give them makeovers

To Dorothy:
~Stab her back with either an epée, saber, fork, plastic knife, sickle, toothpick, chopstick, or anything that is ~at the very least sharp… and pointy… {Hee hee… ^.~}
~Use tweezers and pluck every evil eyebrow hair out
~Go at her hair with shears

To Relena Peacecraft:
~Get her addicted to tea… Thus begins your tea empire!

To the rest of the pilots:
~Try and stop all the fights between them
~Take them shopping
~Take them to the hair salon
~Addict them to tea unless they all retaliate and have already hooked you onto Neo-pets

To any enemy:
~Regular: First demand politely for their surrender, then start the carnage
~Zero: Blast them into diminutive pieces of quivering bloody pulps and smoldering metal.


What to do in case-

You run out of tea:
~Borrow Wing Zero Custom and destroy any store that is not stocked… then blame your tea driven Relena-~drone for stealing Heero's Gundam… Hide as he starts blowing things up… {Crude I know, but what else ~can you do besides impale someone in a Gundam? T-T}

Duo steals your Shampoo:
~Borrow the Zero system, Epyon, Wing Zero, or Wing Zero Custom… either will do… that's all to be said…
~Run for cover when Heero and Zechs come out looking for blood

Your sisters come looking for you:
~Say you have an appointment with the TAA (Tea Addicts Anonymous)
~Go to Dorothy and ask her to stab you again

Somebody touches your violin:
~Blast them all to H***!
~Turn chibi and make their lives miserable

You are under to much stress:
~Get into any Gundam that showcases the Zero System, and go blow up some colonies or foreign space matter to relieve yourself of that pressure
~Cuddle up with a plushie! ^-^

Your neo-pet dies:
~Sorrowfully, bury it in cyber world…. Then send a 'friendly' virus into the creator's computers… {Just a thought! I really want a Shoyru myself!}
~Feed it with fifteen cups of tea and watch as it comes alive…

~Owari~

Kaen-chan: ::Sweatdrop:: I'm plowing through these!
Quatre: … ::Sips from cup and cuddles camel plushie:: … ::Placid smile:: …Mm… Strawberry…
Kaen: I'm not so sure that you should be drinking that much.
Quatre: ::Bottom lip trembles:: *Wimper* NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Kaen: ::Covering ears:: Alright, alright! I won't take away your tea! ::Sighs to herself:: Sometimes he can be even louder than Duo!
Quatre: ::Sniffle:: Gomen ne…
Kaen: It's okay…
Duo: ::Calmly walks up:: Anybody have any coffee?
Kaen: ::One horrified look at the tea drinking Quatre and back to the innocently looking Duo:: NO!!! ::Runs off::
Duo: ^^?
Quatre: ::Looks at the fleeing Kaen and back at his cup:: Strange, this is only my first cup of tea today…
Duo: ^^;;
Dekiru-chan: ::Comes in dragging a bound Kaen:: Ja ne mina-san!
Kaen-chan: LET ME GO!!!!
Dekiru: Arigatou Trowa-kun.
Trowa:… Gomen Kaen…
Kaen: ::Sulk::
Dekiru: ::Sweatdrop:: You are going to still write Wufei's right?
Kaen: Depends…
Trowa: …
Duo: ^^;;
Wufei: ::Marches in:: Weakling onnako. I DEMAND you to write MINE!!!
Kaen: …::Glare::…
Quatre: … ::Sip:: ^-^…
Duo: ::Walks in and hands her a bag of sweet tarts::
Kaen: ::Brightens up noticeably:: WAIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dekiru and the present pilots: ^^;;
Kaen: Heh… Gomen minna ^-^v