Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Road to Kindness ❯ Missing ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5: Missing

 

Three days passed and Duo didn't show up at school again, but only Khushrenada seemed to care. After the first day, Treize pulled Heero into his office to interrogate him, but the boy refused to disclose his best friend's whereabouts. He instead advised Treize to forget about Duo, he wasn't worth his time. Furious at Heero for turning his back on his friend, Treize contacted his mother, but if she knew anything, she wasn't talking, either.

Heero buried himself in his classes and homework like he had never done before. He just let everything continue moving around him, building his walls back up. He had wanted to just hole himself up in his room and never speak to another person ever again. He had loved Duo so completely and now he hated him just as much. It was so confusing… he had no idea that love and hate could be so intertwined. That was what made it so sick, as much as he wanted to beat the longhaired to a pulp for hurting him, he also still loved him. He wanted to find someplace neutral, someplace that didn't remind him how deeply he had cared for Duo, but that was impossible, there wasn't a single place like that. Everywhere in this town, in his house, was a memory of Duo.

Life at home was worse than at school. At school he had distractions, at home, there were just his memories twisted by the knowledge of what Duo had done. He lay in bed at night often thinking about that and searching for any sort of clue that he could have picked up on, but his mind just kept circling around the same facts. He was torn between wanting to fly into a rage and destroy everything, and just curling into a ball on his bed and ignoring the rest of the world. His mother tried to cheer him up, along with Quatre and Trowa, but nothing worked. The one thing, the one person, he wanted was the source of his misery. He felt like his soul, if there truly was such a thing, had been ripped from him. He just felt so angry, but he didn't know if he was angry at himself or Duo. As the days went on, his defensive shell and righteous anger turned to bitterness and hate and he withdrew further and further within himself until he found a way to keep going with his life. He kept away from people in school, afraid that he would kill someone if they came near him. He wanted to find Duo at the same time that he never wanted to see him ever again. He had used him and Heero had never seen it, too wrapped up in his feelings of infatuation. He didn't know who the bigger fool was.

 

*****

 

Name, for the first time in her life, didn't know what to do. She didn't think that there were any solutions to this problem. Heero was reacting the same way now that he had when his father had died and she hated that, she hated Duo for how he had hurt her child. But, at the same time, she was still having problems believing that Duo had been capable of doing it. She couldn't reconcile him with the sort of sly deviant that Heero had painted. All she knew was that Heero had to go on, somehow, and he just wasn't. Oh, he said that he was fine and that he was dealing, but she knew the truth. She wondered if they should move away again, but knew that that wouldn't solve the problem, running away was just cowardice. She wanted to find Duo, but she wasn't sure that was the answer, either. She knew that if she did find him, she would ruin him. Heero was being so distant, even with Quatre and Trowa. They were nothing like Duo, surely Heero had to know that. Of course, she had thought that Duo was a good person and look what had happened.

 

*****

 

Quatre had no idea what was going on, but it had to stop. Whatever had happened was big, of that he was sure. The last time Heero had been so distant had been when his father had died. Quatre wanted to know what was wrong with his friend, but he wasn't sure how. He was hurting something awful and Quatre wanted to make sure that his interference wouldn't make things worse. He just wanted his friend back. What really bothered him was that, if Heero was having problems, Duo would have seen it and tried to help, yet Heero and his mother hadn't even mentioned his name in three days. He couldn't see how Duo could be involved, it just didn't make any sense to him. It was Friday and Heero was just on the couch watching TV, though it didn't appear as though he were really watching it since he hadn't touched the remote in two hours, even when the news came on, and Quatre knew how much he hated the news. Then there was the issue of Duo's absence. According to Name, he had slept over the past two weekends and Quatre could tell that Duo was eager, maybe even desperate, to spend as much time as he could at the Yuy's. Not for the first time Quatre wondered about Duo's home and why the violet eyed boy always avoided the subject. Quatre and Trowa shared a look. They had both had enough of the Yuy's somber silence. They were acting as though someone had died! And Heero was just moping in bitter, repressed anger.

Quatre strode up to the TV and turned it off.

“Hey!” Heero snapped, jumping to his feet as though he was willing to fight for the television. Trowa stood in front of him, protecting his small blonde lover, though he hoped that Heero didn't have it in him to hit his old friend, and crossed his arms, looking intimidating, but not as intimidating as Heero was with his glowering eyes.

“What is going on with you?” Trowa demanded. Heero glared at him.

“There's nothing wrong with me,” he snapped.

“Then where is Duo?” Quatre asked and watched in alarm as Heero flinched.

“Duo spends every weekend here, so where is he and why won't you talk about him?”

Heero's hands curled into fists.

“He's not here because he's off scamming teenage boys out of their hard earned cash,” Heero sneered. Trowa's eyes narrowed in anger at Heero talking about the American that way.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Quatre asked, his voice cold.

“I mean that he's been letting Zechs Merquise fuck him just to stop him from bullying him!” Heero yelled, “And some goddamn pocket change on the side! And if I hadn't caught him in the act, he probably would have robbed me blind, the little… smelly, gutter rat!” Heero's voice rose to an almost hysterical pitch.

Quatre slapped him.

“How dare you?” he hissed, “How can you say those things about your best friend?”

“Because it's the truth,” Heero said cruelly, “he's nothing more than a two-faced, petty whore!”

“Shut up!” Trowa snapped.

“You never told us Zechs was at your school.”

“It's none of your business,” Heero growled.

“You saw him and Duo having sex?”

“Yes!” Heero grounded out, shutting his eyes to ward off the unpleasant memory.

“And he told me that he hated Merquise, but he was letting him fuck him for `money and protection'!”

Quatre's expression turned furious.

“And you never tried to help him?!” Quatre screamed. Name watched what was happening from the doorway, but didn't intrude, watching her son carefully. Heero looked at the blonde in astonishment as though that had never occurred to him.

“I-I… he doesn't need my help… he doesn't deserve my help!” Heero's voice became steadier as he reclaimed his anger.

“No, you don't deserve him!” Quatre countered, “He's selling his body to a man he hates because he's poor and doesn't want to get harassed and you, you call yourself his friend and don't even try to help him! He's poor enough to do something so terrible, but still tries to get through school and you, who has all the money in the world, you don't even try! He's trying so hard just to survive and you're depending on your name for everything! And don't you dare deny anything, Duo would never whore himself for money unless he really needs it, besides, you know how he looks! Didn't it ever occur to you that he really, really needs that money and protection? Maybe he needed your friendship just as badly! Maybe, after all those bad things, he wanted a single friend! You're the one who's used him, Heero!”

Heero struggled with something, but pushed it down, he pushed it all away and ignored Quatre's words.

“He probably liked it,” he said, but the words sounded hollow to his own ears. Quatre huffed and turned on his heel, storming out with Trowa in tow.

“Where are you going?” Heero demanded. Quatre looked back at him with cold eyes.

“I'm going to do what you're too chicken shit to do, I'm going to go find him.”

 

*****

 

It was a miserable night for the whores, the freezing air making it impossible for them to flash their assets and they, instead, were bundled in warm sweaters and jeans instead of cropped tops and shorts. Few fish were biting, but Solo refused to give it up and go home. There were six of them on the street corner and they knew each other well. There was Shi with long blonde hair and red eyes who was bit too tall for the dominant circuit, but got a great business with the subs. His mother, father, and little brother had died in a car crash and he had been sent to live with his grandfather. After being raped by the man, he had had enough and fled to the streets. Amaaya was the only girl with them tonight, tall like Shi, but almost painfully beautiful with her long black hair and deep blue eyes, her only flaw was a scar that ran down her tan back. No one knew where she had come from, one day she had just shown up and she had been there ever since. There were the twins, Alex and Aluxiel, who did a great business with those looking for threesomes and those who were into incest. They were fraternal, Alex had long black hair, one blue eye, another gold, no doubt a product of a birth defect that Solo saw every now and then. Aluxiel had the same defect, with one red eye and one green, his hair short and spiky, died to match his eyes. They had been chased from their home when they had fallen in love with each other. Next to Solo was Hi and Yuki, neither ever said much and Hi's deep red hair and Yuki's ebony locks contrasted each other in dark. Hi's wife had died a few years ago and he had resorted to whoring to feed his four year old twins. Yuki was like Amaaya, no one knew what his story was, he was just there.

It always amused Shi how Solo was the youngest, but he acted like the pack leader. It was unusual for prostitutes to stick together like they did, but they lasted longer this way. None of their stories were new or unique; they heard them from other pros hundreds of times. It was just the way of the world; it was easier to sell your body to sex than any other labor.

Tonight had been slow and freezing and they were the only ones left out in the cold, all the rest had gone to find shelter. But, they weren't out here to make money, they were waiting for someone. Solo stared down the street, into the darkness, waiting for a familiar figure to emerge. One of these nights, Solo knew that he wouldn't see him, a constant fear, but at the rate the kid was going, it was a sure thing.

There was something wrong with Duo, anyone could see that, and for Solo, it was beyond disturbing. He had thought that there was nothing left that could happen to his friend, but something bad had happened and now… it was like being with a corpse. He wasn't going to school, Solo knew that. Wes was obviously taking advantage of that to run Duo ragged. The longhaired boy just shuffled from job to job until late at night where he would meet Solo and stare off into space until he eventually went home. Solo doubted that he was sleeping, and if he was, it wasn't restful because each time he saw him he looked more and more weary. His eyes… his eyes looked so dead, hollow. Duo had always had a tired, half dead look to him, but whatever had happened had brought him all the way down. Solo couldn't imagine what had happened to make Duo give up school and any semblance of life in his pretty violet eyes, but he didn't like it one bit. Even the others noticed it and they weren't around Duo as much as Solo was. Solo knew that one night, Duo would just stop showing up and he would be reading about him in the paper the next day, killed by a john or himself. He didn't want to think that of his friend, but there was a hopeless look to him now that told Solo that suicide was definitely on his mind. He just seemed so broken now. That asshole, Wes, had better not have done anything to him! Of course, not even Solo was brave enough to challenge Wes Maxwell, no one was. He had seen him coming and going with that bull of a partner of his, Chris. He wasn't sure who was more dangerous, the large, violent brunette or the sociopath blonde. Wes had been around longer than Solo had and, before meeting Duo, he had only known him by reputation. In his old gang there had been rumors about a pimp and drug runner named Wes that had a thing for little boys and was the most vicious man in the whole state, if not the whole New England sector. To Solo's knowledge, Duo was the only whore he had had living with him, though he didn't know for sure what that meant for Duo. It was no wonder his friend was so worn down, with other pimps there were rules, boundaries that their customers had to follow, Duo had none. Wes had more of a `if the price is right' mentality and didn't really care what they did to Duo, as long as they paid for it. After seeing what Wes was doing to Duo, Solo was glad that he didn't have a pimp. It was hard getting jobs, but it seemed safer. Then there were the `sessions' Duo had with both Wes and Chris. Whoring yourself was bad enough but giving it up for free to two brutes was just disgusting.

It was well past midnight, but Solo was finally able to breath in relief when Duo emerged from the shadows, walking slowly because of his vision, his head down. Solo winced at his bedraggled hair, bruises on his neck and wrists, and the sharp smell of semen on the boy. Shi and Solo shared a look as Duo walked slowly over to them. Solo hoped that it wasn't drugs again. He knew that Wes had forced him to take them a few times and that Duo had had a bad reaction to them every time. He hated seeing him like that; he had been somewhere between a walking corpse and a beaten puppy. He was thin and listless, like before, but Solo didn't think that it was drugs.

Duo was still favoring his side, something that Solo had started to notice a week ago, and from the careful way he was walking, one of his customers had been rough with him. Duo stood next to Solo, mumbling `hi' and stared off into space as he always did.

“Alright, what's wrong with you?” Solo finally asked. The other six paid as much attention to the conversation without giving any evidence that they were eavesdropping. Duo looked at Solo numbly.

“There's nothing wrong with me,” he said. Solo snorted.

“That's bullshit! I remember how hard you fought Wes to go to school and now you're just giving up on it?!”

“That's right,” Duo said stubbornly. Solo narrowed his eyes at him.

“And what about that new friend of yours? Did you just give up on him, too?”

Solo instantly regretted his questions when some dark emotion came into Duo's eyes. It was even more disturbing watching Duo struggle to put his shields back up, the darkness covered with dullness once more.

“I didn't give up on him,” Duo said in a chocked voice that belied his expression, “I just fucked up, that's all.”

“How?” Yuki dared to ask. Solo glared at him, worried that Duo would stop talking if the others interfered, but Duo appeared to not notice that it was Yuki and not Solo that had spoken. It was as though he needed to talk.

“I hurt him. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I BETRAYED him!” Duo screamed. Solo watched in amazement as the dam broke. It was a physical thing, Duo seemed to crumble in on himself as he cried. Solo wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. He gave the rest of them a stern look over Duo's head not to approach. Duo was like a wounded deer at the best of times, perpetually ready to run, now he was damaged and fragile.

“It's all my fault,” Duo struggled with his speech, “he was so kind to me and I fucked it all up! I'm such a bastard! Why… Oh, god,” Duo dissolved into incoherent mumblings.

“Ssh,” Solo soothed, “just tell me what happened.”

“There's this guy at school, Zechs. Ever since middle school he's been after me, teasing me, bullying me… I got so sick of it! This year, he said that he'd stop if I let him have sex with me. I said yes. I mean, I've done worse for a lot less!” Duo's speech was rambling, but Solo caught every terrible word.

“But then I met Heero… he was so nice to me… and I didn't deserve it! I couldn't fuck Zechs anymore. He approached me with this blonde with these cold brown eyes… They had a picture of me and Zechs. Zechs said he was going to tell Heero if I didn't do the both of them, so I did! But they lied and Heero… Heero saw everything!” Duo sobbed into Solo's shirt.

“Oh, Duo,” Solo murmured and stroked the shorter boy's hair.

“He hates me,” Duo whispered, “Oh, god, Solo, he hates me so much!”

“Then fuck him!” Shi snarled, “And don't give us any of that `I don't deserve him' crap! You're a sweet kid and if he can't see that, he doesn't deserve you! It's not your fault, it's those two shit heads who tricked you!”

Duo rubbed at his red eyes.

“But, he was always out of my league. I knew that and I still tried to be friends with him! I never should have let it happen! Instead, I pretended we were equals and I hurt him! How is that fair? Trading his happiness for some stupid illusion of normalcy… What I did was much worse than what Zechs and that… British ass did!”

Duo started to shake. Alex put a hand on his shoulder.

“Did he make you happy?” Alex asked. Duo nodded.

“More than I've ever been in my entire life,” he murmured, “When I was with him, I actually felt good!”

Alex smiled at him.

“Then it was worth it.”

“I can't believe that,” Duo said, “you didn't see his face. He has so few friends and I betrayed him.”

“But that's no reason to quit school,” Hi protested. Duo struggled out of Solo's arms.

“There was no point in going in the first place,” he said, his tone flat, “I was just wasting time. Hell, my whole life has been one big waste of time! There's no way I could go back there and face him anyway. It's over,” he gave Solo a devastatingly fake smile, “sorry about losing it, but, I feel better now,” he lied, “I've gotta go h-,” Duo choked on the word `home', because his mind supplied a different image than Wes' apartment, “I've just got to go. Long day tomorrow,” he started to walk away.

“Duo, goddamn it, talk to me!” Solo snapped, but Duo never looked back. He just kept walking until he realized that he couldn't remember the street name. He had been down this street a thousand times; it was where he and Solo always met, but for some reason, he couldn't remember the name of the street, though he knew that he had known it before. He shook his head and kept walking. It didn't matter. He disappeared into the night.

 

*****

 

Snow started to fall and Solo knew that it was time to go home, for all of them. Anger surged in him. Anger at those two boys for using his friend like that. Anger at Duo for running away instead of trying to work things out with both Heero and himself. Anger at his own self for being so helpless.

“What do you want to do?” Shi asked, his crimson eyes dark with suppressed fury. Solo smirked.

“Tomorrow, we go hunting.”

“And how are we going to do that?” Aluxiel asked. “We have no idea what those two guys look like!”

“Of course we do,” Amaaya said, “we know that one of them is blonde, has brown eyes, and a British accent. Someone like that should be fairly easy to find,” she said with a mean glint in her blue eyes. Shi grinned ferally and stretched his arms above his head.

“Tomorrow's shapin' up to be a wonderful day!” he cheered.

 

*****

 

Fuck Solo, why did he always have to pry?

The second that Heero had fled, Duo had shut down. It was something that he had tried to do when Wes had raped him, but had failed. But now, for some reason, it had worked. Or, it had until Solo had started to pry and then the walls had come tumbling down. His emotions had come flooding back like a tidal wave and he could no longer get Heero out of his head, his beautiful blue eyes, the same eyes that he had fallen in love with, and that terrible disgust and hate that filled them that day.

Duo ran a hand against the brick wall next to him. Tears started to build in his chest and he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, hoping to use the pain to keep his turbulent emotions at bay, but it was no use. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to ignore the tears that he couldn't stop from falling.

Why wouldn't those hurt blue eyes leave him alone? Why couldn't he stop thinking about Heero and why did he care? It didn't matter, it was over. It never would have worked out anyway, he was a whore, always would be. Why had he even bothered being friends with Heero at all? Friends didn't lie or hide things from each other. How had he thought things would end any differently? Because, though he was loath to admit it, Alex had hit the nail on the head. When he had been with Heero, he had truly been happy. He was disgusting. Heero had thought that their friendship would be a permanent thing, but Duo had always been waiting for the axe to drop and that hadn't been fair to Heero. He had been waiting for something like this to happen, always on edge, always stressed because this sort of thing always happened to him, so why did it hurt so much? The sickest part was that, he had been so happy with Heero, he didn't regret any of it. He felt bad about hurting him, but he didn't want to take a second of it back, how wrong was that!

He still yearned to be with his former best friend, even though he knew things were over. He didn't know what to do besides go on, even if he didn't want to. He couldn't go back to school. He had meant everything that he had said to Solo. There was no point in going back there. He had lived his whole life in the gutter, he didn't know anything else. He could read all the texts in the world, take every test, get the best grades, it wouldn't change anything. And if he did go back to school, all he would be was a slut that had hurt Heero Yuy, who deserved so much more than trash like him. What would be the point? Normalcy was dead. He doubted that anyone would notice his absence. Perhaps Heero would, but only because he was mad. The anger would fade and so would any other feelings for him. To Heero, Duo would be dead and that hurt, right down to the bone, because, as much as it hurt being hated, being forgotten by the boy he loved was so much worse.

He kept coming back to him, he kept thinking about Heero, even when he was letting some stranger have sex with him, though he hated having that world intruding in on his memories of the best friend he had ever had. He couldn't understand it. He had been with hundreds of men, some of them very good looking, so why now? Why Heero? What made him so special? He wished that he had a normal life. Hell, even being a stupid little gay boy with a silly, impossible crush seemed normal considering his current lifestyle. All he wanted was to be with Heero. How could such a simple thing be so impossible? He wanted to not hurt him… he wanted to make Heero feel how the blue-eyed boy made him feel, but that was so laughable, even before Heero had found out. How could he ever care about him now? He didn't think he would ever get that image out of his head, Heero's disgust… and that slap, nothing had ever hurt so much.

He had never asked to be in love, how could he? What use was love to him? Even when he was being raped, he could pull himself back together, but he had tried so hard and he didn't think he would ever be that person again. He had thought that had made him strong, being able to keep going despite the violence, but now he knew that he was just weak because of his own emotions. It was his body betraying him all over again. He couldn't pull himself together. He tried grasping for strength, but there was none there. How had one boy destroyed him so completely? He didn't want this! But, at the same time, he didn't want to stop loving Heero, he didn't want to ever forget how he made him feel. But it was so useless. Heero knew everything now and he would never care for him again. And he was too much of a coward to just end it, always hoping for one last glimpse of those blue eyes that would never come.

How could he ever have thought that he was capable of pulling through? Things were so hard now, just waking up, let alone the sex. Just the thought of letting Wes have sex with him made him want to jump out of his skin, but he felt so helpless and it was all Heero's fault. He had felt so safe with him. Truly safe! He remembered that first night when Heero had held him. Nothing could have hurt him, or at least, that's what he had thought then. But now, any feeling of safety was gone, he felt as though the entire world had disappeared from under his feet. It seemed so impossible, going on while feeling that way, but he did, he always did, even if it was just one big lie.

All this time, living with Heero had been like trying to reach the sky when his feet were rooted to the ground. Though he hated to admit it, Heero had hurt him, but he didn't hate him for it. Logically and emotionally, he knew that he should, at the very least, have been mad about Heero hitting him, but he didn't feel any animosity towards him, he didn't feel anything except a sort of deep sadness that seemed to want to swallow him whole. It felt so heavy, like a constricting ball of iron around his heart. He couldn't call himself Heero's friend, but he didn't hate him. It was awful, but he did still consider Heero his friend, even though Heero clearly didn't feel the same way. Something cold hit his cheek. He looked up into the black sky and saw tiny snowflakes falling. It was freezing on his tear stained face and he felt so tired… he should go back to the apartment, he thought, but he didn't move as he slumped against the brick wall.

More sobs built up in his chest and he yearned to release them, but he dug his nails into his palms and slammed the back of his head into the wall. He hated this… He didn't want to feel anything. He just wanted to be numb. But, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, his heart kept hurting.

 

*****

 

It amused Solo to no end how Shi resembled a lion more than a human. With his long golden hair and intense crimson eyes, not to mention his impressive height, he certainly did look like a male lion. He was a bit overprotective and definitely ferocious and with the knowledge that someone had messed with Duo and hurt him badly, he seemed more feral. It hadn't surprised Solo one bit when it was Shi who had found the mysterious blonde boy Duo had talked about. It was probably one of the least intelligent things the pack of friends had ever done, but they ended up covertly following the boy that Shi had found all day until it became dark and the streets became empty. When he disappeared into a grocery store, all six of them waited by the entrance. The snow from last night had continued all day, though it was still only a thin layer on the ground, and almost no one was outside.

“Are you sure this is the right guy?” Solo asked. He was just as pissed as Shi was, but he wasn't into doing violence for violence's sake.

Shi nodded.

“Blonde hair, brown eyes, English accent. I've never seen him around before.”

Solo snorted.

“Only `respectable people' go to this part of town,” Solo spat out the words like a curse, “so for all you know, he could a been born here!”

“Why don't we just get Duo and ask him if this is our guy?” Alex asked. Solo rolled his eyes.

“Because I don't want to get him involved and he'd tell us not to get involved.”

“Even if he is our guy, is it a good idea for all of us to be here? Is it even a good idea to be going after this guy at all?” Hi questioned, “With what you're planning, he's going to know that Duo's involved and attack him for it!”

“He deserves whatever we do to him for what he did to Duo!” Solo snarled, “Besides, no one knows where Duo is except for us and we're not telling!”

“But what about Zechs?” Aluxiel asked, “He started the whole thing.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, and as much as Zechs has hurt Duo, he didn't do anything to him that any of our johns haven't done to us a thousand times,” Shi said. Solo bit his lip, wanting to protest that Zechs hadn't known that Duo was a whore when he had propositioned him but he realized that there was probably quite a bit of information missing from Duo's story and stayed silent.

“Besides, according to Duo, Zechs has been doing him for months, but the second this guy shows up, shit happens. Zechs may have been involved, but I think that this guy was the brains of the outfit,” Shi grinned, “and I know that this guy is the one who fucked with Duo.”

“There's no way you could possibly know that,” Hi said dryly.

“No? Ok, here are the facts: the dude we've been followin's name is Alex Mueller, both he and Zechs are from England and went to school together, then Zechs' parents got divorced and he and his mom moved here, shortly after that, Heero moved to that same school. Now, here's a theory-,”

“Zechs and Alex were friends, then Heero came along, pissed Alex off somehow, so when Yuy moved here, Mueller followed him,” Amaaya realized, her eyes wide.

“Where he found out that Yuy was friends with our Duo and decided to use him to attack Yuy,” Solo finished, furious.

“That certainly helps explain what connects all four of them,” Hi mentioned.

“How the hell do you know all this?!” Solo demanded.

“Because I'm amazing,” Shi said smugly.

“Shi…,” Amaaya warned.

“Public library,” he admitted. The other six stared at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Who let you into a library?” Solo asked, shocked.

“How did you know where to find a library?” Hi murmured.

“Hey!” Shi snapped.

“Actually,” Alex whispered to his brother, “that was pretty clever, none of us thought of it.”

“I still don't get how you found all that stuff,” Aluxiel mentioned. Shi grinned.

“Through the amazing, privacy-destroying, publicly-accessible internet! Googling all their asses was a cinch, though Heero was obviously the easiest. You wouldn't imagine all the sit I found on him!” Shi said cheerfully, but immediately sobered, getting a deadly look in his eyes, “look, the point is this bastard hurt Duo. You can fuck us and even beat us, but this guy went after Duo's friendship with Heero. He found the one point where Duo was the most vulnerable and attacked him with it. He wanted to break him, just to hurt Heero, and he did! This fucker is going down. We all had a choice about this life, Duo didn't. He's better than us, he deserves better, not this shit! This guy's got to pay for what he did.”

Solo nodded.

“I don't care how rich he is or who he knows. He hurt my best friend and he's not going to get away with it. I'll understand if the rest of you back off, it's your right. We all gotta protect ourselves, but I have to do this,” Solo said.

Alex ran a hand through his long, black hair.

“We're Duo's friends, too, Solo.”

“Are you sure?”

The other six nodded. Solo smiled at them gratefully. They waited.

 

*****

 

Alex came out of the grocery store with half a dozen bags in one arm and a pack of cigarettes in his other hand. He didn't notice the seven people following behind him, jugging groceries in order to light a cigarette. Shi, showing his colors as a true predator, stalked his prey patiently, waiting for the perfect moment to strike while Solo was more anxious, brimming with mad energy. Feeling a lot like a pack of wolves on a hunt, they stalked him for a few more blocks.

Alex moved in between the lights, hitting a large patch of shadow and passed by a narrow alley. Shi quickly but subtly, his sound hidden by the snow, moved forward, grabbing Alex by the back of his shirt and dragged him into the alley, sending cigarettes and groceries to the snow covered ground.

Alex never stood a chance as Shi slammed him into the wall pinning him so high that Alex's feet no longer touched the ground. Shi was good two feet taller than Alex and much stronger than him, making it impossible for him to escape and even if he could, he still had six other very angry people stopping him. Alex stared into Shi's eyes, terrified of the bloody fury he saw there, echoed on the other six's faces.

“M-my wallet's in my jacket pocket, please don't hurt me,” Alex begged.

“Save your breath,” Shi spat, his grip tightening on his shirt, “we're not here for your money.”

Solo walked up to them, crushing the cigarettes under his worn boot with a look of disgust.

“Don't you know that these things can kill you?” he sneered at the frightened blonde.

“What do you people want?” Alex demanded. He suddenly noticed Amaaya and his eyes turned heated, traveling up her tan legs to her very short skirt. The look quickly vanished as Shi slapped him across the face.

“Mind your eyes,” he snarled. Alex glared at him.

“Let me go!” he snapped, then froze as Shi suddenly grinned.

“And what are you going to do about it? Scream? Go ahead!” he leaned in close and whispered in Alex's ear, “How does it feel to be completely helpless? To have your life, your happiness in the hands of some asshole?” he hissed cruelly. Alex stared at him with wide eyes.

“You can't do this…” Alex protested as though he couldn't believe what was happening.

“You hurt someone very special to me,” Solo said as he approached, “you messed with the wrong person.”

Alex narrowed his eyes at him.

“I have no idea what you're talking about!”

“Duo Maxwell!” Shi hissed, “We know what you did to him!”

Alex examined Solo and gave him a superior, dirty look.

“Don't worry about it,” he sneered, “no humans involved. He'll get over it, all you people do, if you can even call yourselves that. You act like I committed a crime! I was just saving Yuy some time. Someone like him should never be involved with trash like you! You can't hurt something that has no soul!” Alex suddenly cried out as Shi slammed his head into the wall.

“No soul?!” Solo snarled, “The only person here without a soul is you!” his green eyes were like emerald fire as he glared at the trapped boy, “But, I'll show you just how much of a soul we've got. We're better than you, so I'll give you a chance. Leave Duo alone and we'll leave you alone, don't, and the next thing you see will be the inside of a hospital.”

Alex laughed.

“You wouldn't dare!”

Shi narrowed his red eyes at him and released him. Alex fell to his knees and glared at the taller boy, but as he rose to his feet, he didn't dare do anything. He snorted in annoyance and started to shove past the longhaired blonde, but Shi grabbed him by his neck and slammed his knee into his gut. Alex yelped in pain and fell back to his knees. He stared up Shi with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“Kids today, no respect,” Shi said with a grin, “not too bright, either. We never bluff,” he whispered. He turned to Solo.

“Want to do the honors?”

Solo cracked his knuckles.

“Gladly.”

 

*****

 

Quatre and Trowa returned the Yuy home with their tails between their legs. It was early morning and Heero had already gone to school. Twelve hours… twelve hours they had spent searching for Duo and they had nothing to show for it. When a visual search had failed, they had started asking around, but that had turned out to be just as futile. No one knew where Duo lived or where he went to, where he worked, there was no information of any kind. Once school was over, it was like he just disappeared. It was like trying to track a ghost. Furthermore, it seemed impossible that a boy that they had befriended had so few tracks. A sinister voice in the back of Quatre's mind told him that it was possible that Heero was right, that Duo's whole intent was to use him. It wouldn't be the first time someone had appeared out of the abyss with no records to try to hurt the Yuy family, but Quatre knew that that wasn't the truth. He had met Duo, he had looked into his eyes and spoken with him and he knew that Duo was different. The only one who had betrayed anyone was Heero, but even Quatre couldn't bring himself to blame him.

Name was waiting for them as they came into the door, her eyes hopeful.

“Any luck?”

Trowa shook his head.

“There's nothing. No one's seen him since he ran away and no one knows where he lives.”

Name's hopeful expression fell.

“I see,” she murmured. She looked at Quatre with thoughtful black eyes, “While you were gone, I decided to do some digging on my own.”

Quatre stared at her in shock.

“What do you mean?”

“I looked through his files,” she said, “his address, telephone number, his father's name, every little bit of information I could find on him.”

Quatre smiled brightly.

“Then you know where to find him!”

“No,” Name said, efficiently cutting off any hope the blonde had, “it's all fake. His address doesn't exist, everything in his records is a lie. Duo Maxwell doesn't exist.”

“Yes he does!” Quatre cried, shocking her, “Maybe not to the rest of the world, but to us, to Heero, he exists! And just because you can't find anything on him doesn't mean that he was trying to hurt you and Heero!”

Name smiled sadly.

“I know that. I don't believe that Duo was trying to hurt us anymore than Heero does, not really, anyway,” she said in a soft voice, “it was easy to believe that at first, but just the thought of Duo selling himself to that boy… it makes me too sick inside. I keep seeing his sad eyes and, as mad as I am about how much pain Heero's in, I can't believe the worst about Duo.”

“What can we do, then?” Quatre asked, feeling truly helpless for the first time in his life. Name sighed and ran a hand through her short black hair.

“We keep looking until we find him,” she said with conviction, “whether he intended to get money out of Heero or not, Duo's still a kid, and he's in trouble. When we do find him, then I'll get the truth. Until then, I'm not assuming anything.”

“And what if it turns out that the worst is true?” Trowa asked.

“I don't know,” Name admitted, “I've been in the most stressful business negotiations and crises that you could imagine, but this is much worse and I… I just don't know what to do.”

 

*****

 

Quatre and Trowa spent the rest of the day worrying about Duo and Heero under the guise of watching TV, but neither was fooling the other. Name had left that morning to go oversee a new factory that was opening in Massachusetts, so when Heero came home at two, it was just the three of them. Against Quatre's better judgment, he approached Heero as the dark haired boy was hanging his snow covered jacket on a kitchen chair to dry.

“We couldn't find Duo,” Quatre told him.

“I don't care,” Heero said dully, but Quatre saw the sparks in his eyes at his ex-best friend's name; he wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not, though.

“Your mother seemed to care,” Trowa mentioned. Heero remained silent.

“Do you really think that Duo betrayed you?” Quatre asked.

“What else is there to think?” Heero said bitterly, his heart burning with each mention of Duo's name.

“Your mother doesn't think that way anymore-,”

“Well, then she's an idiot!” Heero exploded, “and so are all of you!”

“Are you angry for a real reason or just because it hurts too much to feel anything else?” Quatre asked heatedly, getting in Heero's face.

“Shut up!” Heero demanded.

“It's just like your dad; instead of dealing with your sadness, you just got pissed off and took it out on everything else.”

“My father has nothing to do with Duo Maxwell!” Heero roared, forcing Quatre to take a step back and Trowa tensed, ready to protect him, “so don't you even dare mention them in the same sentence!” Heero pushed past them and stormed up the steps to his room. Quatre gave Trowa a worried look.

 

*****

 

The snow of Sunday night continued on through Monday and Tuesday until it was replaced on Wednesday night by a terrible thunderstorm. The rain was so heavy that it made driving impossible and ponds overflowed. The entire town lost power as the wind and lightning knocked down power lines and the chilly air turned the snowy ground into treacherous ice.

The power outage hit every house equally and when Heero awoke at 3:12 am, it was pitch black in his room, save for the red glow of his battery powered clock. He stared at it for a few minutes, dumbly, before it came to him what was going on. He closed his eyes and struggled to go back to sleep but in between thinking about what Quatre had said yesterday and the thunder, sleep refused to come. He sighed and rolled out of bed. He placed a hand on the wall and started to navigate out of the bedroom. Lightning flashed, filling the hallway with bright light only long enough to cast long shadows, then the shadows grew to darkness once more. He suddenly realized that Duo's power was out, too, and wondered if he was awake and listening to the thunder, too. He quickly dismissed the thought, but the tight-stomach feeling the thought gave him didn't go away. As he moved down the long hallway, his knee hit a table and he swore, but kept going. He fell into a habit he had had as a child: counting the seconds between thunder and lightning to see if it was getting closer or moving away.

Thunder… one, two, three, four, five… lightning. Heero blinked in the darkness, the storm was really close.

 

*****

 

3:12 am, Duo awoke in blackness. His eyes searched blindly in the dark. His heart started to race as he realized that he couldn't see the window, either. He never slept with the lights on only because Wes would never allow it, though if Duo had his way, there would always be a light on. The darkness always made him feel anxious and the anxiety made his nightmares worse; more horrific, more real. However, even when it was dark, he could always see the city lights through the window, but tonight there was nothing, absolutely nothing. He could feel the soft sheets under his naked body, could feel Wes' hard muscled form pressed against his back and his arm wrapped around his waist, he could feel the dried semen on his thighs, or was it blood? He couldn't remember. He could feel Wes' hot breath on his neck, the cold of the room, and hear his heavy breathing, but there was something wrong with his vision, something wrong with his eyes. His heart pounded and his head hurt with the thought of it. All these years as his vision got worse and worse, he had lived with the constant fear that he would one day wake up blind, and now he had. His gut clenched painfully and he curled in on himself.

`Please… no more… I can't take anymore…' he thought with an inaudible whimper, `first Heero, now this?! Can't I keep just one little thing? Please… please…'

Bile rose in his throat at the thought of trying to live his life without his sight. It had been hard enough before his vision problems and it was hard enough now with his glasses and the blurriness, complete blindness seemed impossible. He wouldn't even know how to cope, let alone survive.

Duo flinched almost completely off the bed as lightning flashed and filled the small room with white light. He felt tears prick his vision as relief overwhelmed him, but he pushed it down. He couldn't believe how stupid he was! As usual, he had assumed the worst, because that was what he usually got. He shivered a little as he listened to the violent rain hitting the glass. Of course the power was out, he told himself, because the storm had been going on all day. It was for that reason that Wes had let him stay home. Of course, that had only meant that he was trading one hell for a worse one as Wes had been more than happy with a day filled with `bedroom exercises'. Now he was sore, exhausted, and his ass felt like it was on fire, so he wasn't sure tromping around in the storm would have been any worse.

The room was cold and dry, a bad thing for his cough and Wes hated the sound, so he had suffered the last few hours trying to hold it in or get slapped. Now, however, Wes was asleep and as he lay on his side, he couldn't help the fit. The silent room echoed with the wet, harsh sound. He felt something wet coming out of his mouth and he wiped away the blood hastily.

The coughing subsided after a long few minutes, leaving him drained, but wide awake. He knew from experience that he wouldn't be falling asleep again and rolled out from under Wes' grip with a sigh that turned to a wince as his insides told him just how sore they were. Wes, always being a deep sleeper, only groaned in frustration at the absence of Duo's soft, warm body, but kept sleeping.

Duo felt his way to the closet and pulled on a t-shirt, feeling the wall with one hand until he was out of the bedroom. He made his way to the kitchen and rooted around in the drawers until his fingers met with the rod shaped flashlight. He jumped at the sound of thunder and froze, counting the seconds until the lightning flashed. It was an old, childish game he and other street children had played during storms like this to keep their minds off of how scary it was out in the open with no shelter and how easy it would be to be struck by lightning or drown like the rats that they were.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten… flash. It was close. He clicked the button on the flashlight, but nothing happened. He swore. Wes wasn't big on being prepared unless it was a way to get money. He knew that he could search all night and he wouldn't find a single usable battery, but he knew for a fact that there were some candles and a lighter under the bathroom sink in a cupboard. He didn't want to think about the reason why they had candles and no batteries or the other things that Wes stored in that cupboard. With another heavy sigh, he felt for the wall again and started to walk towards the bathroom.

 

*****

 

A clap of thunder… one, two, three, four, five, six, seven… lightning filled the long hallway. The storm was moving away now. The brief lightning allowed Heero to see the hall closet where his mother had stored the emergency supplies. He felt around for the doorknob and opened the closet.

“Holy fuck!” he cried as he felt something hard whack him on the head and he stumbled, falling on his butt. What the hell had hit him?! His heart raced, waiting for another attack to come. Thunder boomed… one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven and a half… lightning filled the hallway and Heero stared dumbly at the mop sitting on the floor in front of him. He stood up and put the mop back into the closet, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity.

“Is everything ok?” he heard his mother call as he blindly searched for a flashlight. She had always been an incredibly light sleeper, so it was no surprise his yell had woken her up.

“Fine! I'm just getting a flashlight!” he called back. He remembered what Trowa had said about her not believing him, but he didn't feel any anger at her at the moment. He should have been mad at her not taking his side in this, but he couldn't help but think about what Quatre had said about anger. He snorted. It didn't matter… he knew that he was right, he had to be.

 

*****

 

Duo almost tripped on a towel on the floor as he entered the bathroom. He sighed and felt around on the ground for it, hanging it as best he could on the rack without actually seeing it. It was hard to imagine how a man who had to have every scheme planned out so perfectly in advance could be such a slob. The tiles were freezing under his bare feet and he walked carefully, feeling for any patches of water that he might fall from. There was a terribly loud clap of thunder and Duo found himself counting again. One, two, three, four, five… as lightning flashed, Duo cried out as he saw a pair of eyes staring back at him and he stumbled back, hitting the glass door of the shower. He fell to his knees, ready to fight or run if he had to when the lightning stopped and the bathroom became perfectly dark again. His heart lurched and adrenaline surged through him. He listened carefully, but he couldn't hear the intruder. He jumped at the sound of thunder and counted, his heart racing with each second. One, two, three, four… light filled the room again and Duo sagged against the door as the only thing he could see was his own haggard, deathly pale reflection in the mirror, his wide, violet eyes looking back at himself. He felt hysterical laughter build up in his chest, but choked it down, knowing what that laughter would turn to if he let it start. There was another clap of thunder and he counted to three before he saw the lightning again. It was so close, soon it would be right on top of them.

 

*****

 

After counting to fifteen, Heero knew that the storm was almost over, he just hoped that they would have power by morning. It was easy getting back to his room with the flashlight. Lightning flashed again and he looked out of his window. Rain was still pouring down and the snowy ground looked like crystal. The window was fogging over with how cold it was. Despite himself, he wondered where Duo was and if he was someplace warm like he was.

 

*****

 

Duo held his hand over his mouth as he coughed and felt blood splatter onto his palm. Agony flared through his body and he crumpled to the ground, his muscles shaking in some sort of fit. He curled into a ball, wrapping his arms around his aching stomach. Everything hurt, inside and out. He didn't want to think, he just wanted to sleep until everything stopped. He didn't want to go back to bed with Wes, he didn't want the man to touch him ever again! He could smell the man's scent on his own body, like he was marked. His skin felt like it had been stretched thin and he just wanted to tear it all up and watch himself bleed. It was like an itch or compulsion. He wanted to be somewhere warm, where this place and his life didn't exist. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt tears starting to break through his defenses.

`Is Heero still mad?' he wondered feverishly. Lightning flashed, but he hadn't heard the thunder.

`Can I go home now?'

 

*****

 

That night Duo left the apartment with Wes still sleeping none the wiser. He went out into the storm and walked, Toby, Patches, Cotton, Cassy, and Angel were taking shelter in his duffle bag and Sammy and Shiva were wrapped up in his coat. As he walked away from the apartment, he didn't look back, he didn't dare. He had no idea where he was going and at the moment, he didn't care. He just needed to get away, he needed to see Heero.

 

*****

 

By Thursday, both snow and rain had stopped and the sun had finally come out. The good weather lasted the entire weekend. True to her word, Name, Quatre, and Trowa never stopped looking for Duo, but they never found him. Heero went to school as always, holing himself in his room during the weekends playing video games and surfing his computer, pretending that his two friends and mother weren't out looking for Duo.

Duo spent all Thursday walking, keeping an eye out for Wes and his business partners, which was a lot harder than he had thought, but he had managed to keep out of sight. He felt like he had gone back in time, ducking from police and pimps, stealing food and money, looking for someplace warm to hide in. It wasn't until Friday morning that he found the perfect place.

He had been trying to stay away from the school and any place where Heero might be, but it was like some sort of gravity, drawing him closer and closer, needing to see him. Finally, he gave up trying to resist, though he still stayed away from the school. Elm Street was a ghost street. Years ago, the town had tried to build apartments there, but it hadn't worked out and the apartments had been abandoned. There had been talk of demolishing them in favor of a mall, but the town had yet to make any plans. The complex was out of the way, yet overlooked most of the town. Trees had stopped being cleared and grew around the building, making it hard for anyone to see the balconies. All of the fire escape ladders were rusted and impossible to extend, but Duo was more than resourceful and managed to scale the building up to one of the balconies; hidden by under kept ivy and branches. It wouldn't be very dry when it rained, but it kept him out of sight and allowed him to watch the people below. It made him feel like a little kid again, hiding in `secret fortresses' and watching the world go by as he lived alone, only, he had his cats. He spent most of his time sitting on the hard stone of the balcony, watching the world through the metal bars. He would leave only during the morning, to steal and pickpocket, and late at night to shop for some food and water.

Wes had yet to give up on him and Duo was surprised that no one had thought to think of his little hideout. It made him want to laugh with glee and triumph at how easily he had thwarted him. He found himself aching to go back to the apartment, terrified of punishment and trying to find means to survive, but at the same time, he reveled in his freedom. He was still sick, but he had gone a whole twenty four hours without servicing anyone and that wanted to make him scream with joy.

It sounded like a fairytale, him living high up on an ivory tower away from those that wanted to hurt him with his little furry family, stealing from the middle class to feed themselves, but he knew that it wasn't. He knew that this was only a vacation, he couldn't live up here forever. Sooner or later, Wes and his thugs would find him and then it would be all over. It hardly seemed worth it, the price that this little respite was going to cost him in the end, but then he had discovered something worth while. Stealing from people wasn't always a sure thing either. If he got arrested, he couldn't imagine what the Yuy family would do to him, he was rather surprised that the goon squad hadn't arrived already, or an assassin. He snorted. More likely, Name thought trash like him wasn't worth the effort. Stealing was hard just to find targets and was far too risky.

Friday, Duo spotted him. He had been keeping an eye on the school that was so very near the building, and he had finally spotted him. His heart clenched, seeming to be stuck between freezing completely and racing. Heero… it had been over two weeks since he had left school forever and the pain of it still hurt just as much as the second it had happened. It had been so long since he had seen him, it felt like years, yet when he spotted him, he realized that he still loved him just as much, no, more, and the vision made him want to cry. The Japanese boy was wearing a leather jacket and jeans, though Duo was too far away to tell if he was frowning or smiling as he stepped out of his Jaguar, Duo could still see his lovely blue eyes. Then, he did cry.

 

*****

 

It was Monday and Duo was waiting for Heero to come to school once more. He had seen him coming and going Friday and, there must have been a soccer game or something, Saturday as well. Each time he was overwhelmed with the urge to see him or yell, just to see those beautiful blue eyes to meet his again, but he was too scared. His little Sammy and Shiva were curled up on his lap and his hands stroked over their silken fur. He hadn't gone out since Friday, he didn't dare once he realized that he could see Heero and didn't want to miss him. He had enough food and water for the cats, but he was hungry, but didn't care. He could last a few more days without going out. He would go when Heero was still at school, when he knew that he wouldn't be able to see him. Patches was gone hunting, how she had gotten off the balcony, he didn't know, but she had been disappearing since Friday. She had been sick for weeks and he hadn't figured out why until now when he had noticed her gaining weight. His little baby was pregnant… he shook his head. It was hard enough feeding the adult cats, but kittens? He knew that Patches would make a good mother and would take care of the babies, but he still worried. It was getting colder and colder and he knew from experience that only one or two street kittens lived from a litter. She would reappear sometime in the night, as she always did; she always managed to find him.

The air was starting to get cold again and Duo was sure that by the end of the week, it would be snowing. He didn't know what he was going to do if it did. There was little to no shelter here and it was insanely lucky that it hadn't rained or snowed yet and if it did, they would get buried. He would have to move, but right now, this balcony was all he had.

Duo watched Heero leave the school with a heavy heart. He hated this part of the day, it meant that he wouldn't be able to see him until the next day. He wrapped his arms around his knees and looked through the bars, down to the overgrown courtyard below, but instead of green grass and the stone fountain caked with moss, he could only see furious gray eyes.

 

*****

 

Heero was seriously considering putting a poster on the ceiling over his bed, one with words, lots and lots of words, with all the nights he had spent lately, looking up there, thinking and unable to sleep, it would go a long way to keeping him sane. His mind couldn't stop, no matter how tired he was. He kept thinking about Duo, even though he tried not to. He told himself that Duo didn't deserve his thoughts, but he invaded them anyway. He was right to be mad at Duo. His supposed best friend had hid something huge from him. He obviously hadn't trusted him. And what other reason could a boy like Duo befriended him except for the money? So, why did his anger feel so hollow? He kept remembering that the first thing he had felt that day when he had seen Zechs and Duo having sex was not anger at being betrayed or even suspicion of Duo's previous actions, but anger and jealousy at Zechs for touching Duo's bare body, and how beautiful he had looked. The self righteous anger had only come after. Heero looked at his hand. He had hit him. That was one of the things that he regretted. Even if he had been furious, he shouldn't have struck him. And that look on Duo's face… it haunted him. He had looked so shocked.

Heero found himself looking back over his and Duo's friendship for any clue that he had been using him, but to his surprise, he couldn't find any. Duo had struggled against him at first, it had been Heero, not Duo, that had insisted on the friendship. How had Duo known that he was going to take a liking to him or had he created the plan afterwards? Or maybe, Duo really had just been sick of Zechs' bullying and Heero's money hadn't interested Duo at all. No, he couldn't believe that, it made no sense. Duo was a bad person and that was why that had happened! He refused to believe that someone as beautiful and kind as Duo would have done something so terrible! He clenched at his pillow. He refused to believe that something bad could have happened to the Duo he had known. He hated being in this room sometimes, remembering how quietly Duo had slept and how much fun they had had, how hard he had fallen for him. He remembered the night he had stayed over, the very first night, and how he had told Heero that he didn't have many friends. Bad person or not, he must have been lonely. Heero remembered all those times away from Quatre and Trowa before meeting Duo and how hard it had been making the three friends he did have. He remembered how, right after his father's death, he had felt so alone because his mother had been so broken up about it and there was no one else that could understand. He couldn't bear to think of how Duo had felt, wrapped in his arms, it hurt too much. He rolled onto his side, facing away from the door. How was it possible to both hate and love a person this much? He hated Duo for making him so vulnerable that it hurt this much, but he still wanted him. He hated him so much and he didn't care about what Quatre had said, he was wrong. The room felt far too big without Duo and his air mattress in the middle of the room. He snorted. He had only spent two weekends there, but he had taken to calling it `Duo's space' and `Duo's mattress'. It was sick, really, considering how Duo Maxwell would never be stepping a foot into this house again. He wondered, not for the first time, where Duo was. They had never talked about his home. There had been no offhand remarks; Heero didn't even know what street he lived on or what kind of house he lived in. He wondered if he had gone straight home or if he had run away, if he was even in town anymore. He wondered if Duo's father was worried about him. Duo certainly hadn't told the man about what he had been doing with Zechs, Heero thought bitterly. He wasn't worried about him, he told himself, he didn't care where Duo had gone, he was just curious.

Heero tensed as he heard the door open and his mother's familiar footsteps nearing the bed. He laid completely still, remembering when he was a child, he would do the same thing when she had checked up on him, not wanting her to know that he was still awake. He felt her sit at the edge of the bed and knew that she knew that he was awake, but stayed still. He heard her sigh.

“You know, sometimes it's easier to believe that the people that we love are bad than to believe that they are the ones in trouble, because the more you love someone, the easier anger is, but sorrow and pain can tear you to pieces. Sometimes, we need to believe that they deserve the bad things instead of believing that they're being hurt,” she said. Heero tightened his grip on the pillow.

“I don't love him,” Heero murmured, but the words almost tore his heart in two, “you're wrong.”

Name just stroked his hair and his vision swam with tears. He didn't care what anyone had to say. They were all wrong.

 

*****

 

The sun was setting. The one half of the sky was lit up in a violet and gold fire as the sun set below the clouds. The other half of the sky was like Heero's eyes; an incredible blue that was so deep, it looked like you could fall into the sky if you could only let go of the ground beneath your feet. The sunset was the last thing that Duo saw as Wes dragged him back to the apartment. He screamed and screamed, but people only stopped and stared, they didn't come to his aid, they never did and never would, he had learned that a long time ago. No one in the world could help him, but he still screamed for it, the story of his life. He kept that close to his heart, even as Wes violently threw him into the apartment; the sight of the setting sun lighting up the sky and the thought of Heero's beautiful blue eyes.

 

*****

 

Duo made a small sound as Wes threw him against the wall and kicked him in the stomach. Duo curled up, ready for more blows to come, but Wes wrapped a hand around his throat and pinned him against the wall.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?!” Wes snarled, “Ever since you've been hanging out with that boy, things have been different, you've changed!”

“Heero has nothing to do with this!” Duo lied. Wes growled and backhanded him hard enough to make Duo's eyes water.

“Don't you fucking talk back to me! After all you've done, don't you fucking dare!” Wes' grip tightened around his neck threateningly.

“After all that I've done for you and you run away?! I told you what would happen, hundreds of times!”

Duo's eyes widened.

“No… please, just let me go, I'll disappear, you have other ones, I know you do! So please, just let me go!” Duo cried.

Wes stroked Duo's reddening cheek, but his other hand stayed at his throat.

“And why would I want to do that?” he asked softly, “Why would I let the best thing in my life slip through my fingers?” Wes' expression hardened, “And if I have to tie you to the goddamn bed to keep you here, then so be it!”

 

*****

 

“Stop struggling!” Wes snarled as he tried to pin Duo to the bed with one hand and lock his ankles in restraints with the other. Duo knew that there was no way he was going to escape once the thick manacles were on him and tried to kick Wes, but the larger man managed to twist his body to keep him pinned and grabbed one of his ankles, closing the metal cuff around his thin ankle. Duo had never been in Wes' bedroom, for which he was grateful now. There were cabinets against the wall and Duo had no desire to see what was in them. There was no window, leaving the room pitch black without the lamp on. Wes' bed was bigger than his own and the frame was metal instead of wood and Duo could see why. There were four manacles attached to the bed with the chains rung through heavy rings and locks that could be adjusted by length. The bed itself was pretty comfortable, but without weapons and clothes, he had never felt more vulnerable. Wes finished securing his ankles and tugged the chains so Duo's legs were spread wide, locking the chains in place.

“Please don't do this,” Duo begged. `Can't I keep just one shred of my dignity?'

Wes ignored him, reaching down on the ground and bringing up a restraint for his arms, a black sleeve with leather buckles and chain. Duo panicked and lashed out, managing a lucky punch to Wes chest, but the blonde just grunted angrily and grabbed Duo's head, squeezing the back of his skull in a spot that sent hot agony through his brain and left him dazed. Wes slipped the sleeve over his arms and tied it tight, locking the chain to one of the rings so he couldn't sit up.

Duo watched with broken, terrified eyes as Wes settled between his legs and lifted his hips a little.

“Wes, don't…”

“Do you think that I like doing this?” Wes growled, spreading Duo's ass cheeks with his hands, “You've forced my hand.”

Duo cried out as Wes thrust into him dry and raw. Tears prickled his vision, but he denied them, feeling blood trickle out of him with each brutal thrust. Duo could feel his anger with each violent push. His body rocked against the bed and his spread, bent legs ached for some sort of balance despite his bindings, his toes desperately digging into the sheets. His arms were completely useless, everything from his upper arms to his fingertips caught in the cloth.

Suddenly, Wes' cock hit him deep inside and Duo cried out in a confused mix of pain and pleasure. Wes grabbed at his hips, grunting happily as Duo's inner muscles clamped down on him. He tried to hold off his orgasm, wanting to enjoy the boy loner, but the silken heat squeezing his kick felt too good and he came inside of him.

Duo bit off a choked cry as he felt thick seed fill him. Wes groaned low in his throat as he emptied himself fully and slid out. Duo focused completely on controlling his breathing, which threatened to spiral out of control as he listened to Wes close the door behind him and go to the bathroom. Tears came again and this time he let them fall. His thigh muscles were already cramping and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn't move an inch. He winced at the sickening feeling of cum pooling out of him, accompanied by the deep, burning sting of his torn insides. He always slept on his side, but he was so weary and found himself drifting off.

 

*****

 

For once Duo had no dreams, though he didn't know if it was because he had been so tired or if his mind just couldn't take anymore. He awoke in complete darkness and for a moment, he forgot where he was and pulled against his bonds, but his memories soon returned to him and hysteria started to build. He thrashed uselessly, trying to free himself. Out, out, out, he had to get out! He choked on his sobs. He couldn't live like this, chained up, alone in the dark, not seeing or hearing, just waiting for someone to come along and fuck him… Why couldn't Wes just kill him and make all this go away?! Duo laughed hysterically. If only Heero could see him now! He's have a great laugh; finally justice had been served, the whore chained up and fucked to death, safe away from anyone he could do damage to! Duo's laughter quickly dissolved into violet sobs again. Heero… his Heero… if he had never found about him and Zechs, would he be with him right now, laughing, walking under the sun, or would that only have delayed the inevitable? Duo suddenly realized how much freedom Wes had given him before. He had never truly appreciated it, thinking it was such a terrible thing, but compared to where he was now, that had been wonderful! What had he done? Why had he run away? Why had he agreed to have sex with Zechs? He could have had the perfect life, but he had fucked it all up! Wes was right, he deserved this.

 

*****

 

“Why don't you just kill him?” a familiar voice carried from the kitchen. Duo listened hard. He knew that voice, though he hadn't heard it in a year. It belonged to a raven haired man named Stevens whose son he had Science and Music with. Duo had always wondered how Ross Stevens would react if he knew that his father was fucking his classmate during his `overtime'. Now he was obviously back for more.

“There's no reason to kill him,” Wes snapped defensively, “I have everything under control.”

“I admit that he's the best fuck I've had and it isn't exactly easy finding that quality tail, but he tried to run away. What if he goes to the cops?” Stevens pointed out.

“He didn't go to the cops,” Duo heard Chris say, “He just hid like a little lost kitty cat,” Chris laughed.

“Is this a solution, though? People are bound to notice a bunch of men coming and going and this place ain't exactly sound proof,” Stevens said.

`As if anyone is going to investigate,' Duo thought with disdain. Let them come and kill him, it was better than the alternative.

“This place could be burning to the ground and no one would notice,” Wes said with a snort, “and don't worry about him running away, I'll take care of it.”

Duo shuddered at the tone in Wes' voice. He was sure that he would take care of him, alright, he could only imagine…

“You should just break him, easier to control,” Stevens said with a sort of sadistic glee that made Duo feel sick.

“Nah, once they're broken it's like fucking a doll and where's the fun in that? Besides, this one doesn't break, even after all this time,” Chris chuckled.

Not broken, were these men idiots? Couldn't they see how easily he had broken? He didn't have a single ounce of fight left in him. The three men continued to talk, but he zoned them out and continued to stare out into the dark room uselessly. He felt like he was going insane. He couldn't move, he felt worn down into nothing. All he could do was lie and wait for the next torture.

Suddenly, the door swung open and Duo hissed in pain, turning his head quickly as the light from the hall burned his eyes and made them water. The door was closed, but kept open enough to let some light through. When Duo dared to look, he saw Chris, Stevens, and Wes.

“Hello, Duo,” Stevens said as he approached the bed. He had been one of the only men to use his first name and he couldn't figure out why, but he hated it no matter the reason, “It's been awhile, hasn't it? Did you miss me?” Stevens jeered.

Duo stared at him incredulously. He had catered to a lot of married men, but this was different. Prostitution was one thing, but this was torture, pure and simple. Duo didn't think that all of his johns would have been able to stomach it, but Stevens didn't seem the least bit bothered, which made Duo wonder what the man was like with his family.

“Aren't you going to say `hi'?” Stevens asked, his eyes roaming over Duo's exposed body. Duo blushed, but glared at him.

“Leave me along,” he said half-heartedly. Stevens grinned, climbing onto the bed and straddling Duo's hips. He reached out to Duo's face and the longhaired boy flinched away, but Stevens grabbed his chin and stroked his cheek.

“So pretty,” he murmured, “every time I see you, you're more and more beautiful. And now you're all tied up with nowhere to go,” he licked his lips, “what shall I do with you first?”

“I thought you wanted to kill him?” Chris teased. Stevens smirked.

“I'm a weak man,” he admitted as he unlocked the chain to Duo's right leg, throwing it over his shoulder and wrapping his arm around Duo's thin thigh, rubbing their crotches together. Duo's blush deepened and he turned his head away. He felt the man cover his entrance with lube and closed his eyes. He didn't want this… Stevens swatted his lightly on the cheek, making Duo open his eyes in surprise.

“Pay attention,” he ordered, his eyes holding Duo's. Stevens was annoyingly gentle as he penetrated him. Stevens watched, enraptured, as Duo's eyes clouded over in the pleasure he had forced on him, but the violets were troubled, like a trapped animal. The boy was hot and tight as his body struggled against him and he happily sunk into him over and over, watching his expression closely as Duo tried not to show any indication that it made him feel good.

“Shit…,” Stevens groaned, “so good…”

Duo winced as the man's thrusts became faster, rubbing against his torn insides more violently.

The black haired man came with a hoarse cry, his thick cum filling Duo's body Stevens let go of Duo's leg, now bruised because of his grip, and climbed off the bed, cleaning himself off with a bath towel that Wes handed him. Duo squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the wet, sticky mess under him. It stung and his muscles hurt. His chest felt like someone was sitting on it, but he didn't dare cough while he was lying on his back. Choking on his own blood wasn't something that he looked forward to.

“Are you going to keep him chained up for the rest of his life?” Stevens asked as he zipped up his pants. Duo blinked, his eyes confused in the mixture of the shadows and light from the hall. He had lost information again. One minute Stevens had held his leg and pressed against him, the next he had been thrusting into him, like a song missing a note, out of place, but not entirely important.

“I gave him a chance, several of them,” Wes said gruffly.

Duo had always known the truth, that if he had ever gotten himself in this situation, it would be forever. He was going to die on this bed. He had known all that, but hearing Wes say it was terrible. Heero would have been strong, he would have fought and screamed until his throat was bloody. He wouldn't have laid there and taken it. He wouldn't have given up so easily. But, as much as the thought of Heero in this situation made him violently ill, he wasn't Heero. He wasn't strong or confident or beautiful. He had seen this situation coming down the road and he knew where that path led. Escape was hopeless. Even if he fought and fought and, through some miracle, won, they would be back over and over again until there was nothing left to take. What was the point in fighting if you could never win? For the glory of it? It was just him and Wes and his `father' sure didn't care about glory. He would never see the sky again, he could never escape Wes, he knew that now, so why did Wes' words make him so angry?

“I never asked you to do this to me!” Duo heard himself snarl. He froze, Wes staring at him as though he had grown a tail. When was the last time he had spoken to Wes like that? He couldn't remember, but it felt good, though terrifying. Wes quickly snapped out of his stupor.

“You ran away from me!” he snapped back. Duo was overcome with the realization of how ridiculous the situation was. He had only stood up to Wes a couple of times and here he was, arguing about something that didn't really matter while he was naked and tied down. Stevens seemed to notice the mirth in it and laughed softly, but Wes didn't find it funny at all.

“I just didn't want your disgusting hands on me anymore!” Duo yelled, squirming against his bonds. Wes growled low in his throat like a bear. What he had said was the truth, but maybe if he pissed Wes off enough, he would beat him to death.

“Looks like your little pet needs to be retrained,” Chris said as he came back into the room and Duo realized that he had never noticed him leave. Chris handed Wes a syringe filled with a white solution and Duo panicked.

“No, you can't do that!” he struggled vainly.

“What the hell is wrong with you” Wes hissed as he approached the bed, “you never used to act like this. I thought you were a good little boy, but as usual, I was wrong,” he placed a hand on his chest, pinning him down.

“I'm sorry!” Duo begged, “I'm so sorry, please don't do this!”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Wes mocked cruelly, “you always say that when you're about to be punished, yet you continue to misbehave!”

Duo, his leg chain still unlocked, lashed out, catching the blonde on the side of the face. Wes snarled, grabbed Duo's foot, and wrenched his head forward by his hair. He plunged the needle into the back of his neck, into his vertebrae.

Duo screamed as the poison mingled with his blood and invaded his brain.

 

*****

 

KL6, it felt like being shot up with hot shards of razor blades. Wes had forced him to take everything from coke to crystal meth, but KL6 was something else entirely. It was Wes' baby and he and Chris were the only ones who knew how to make it, giving them a monopoly of the business, though Duo had no idea who would want to use the rape and torture drug for self-use. KL6 attacked the brain, altering chemicals and making the taker susceptible to demands. In short, it was a mind control drug and those that took it were helpless to do what people told them. Wes said it made them more cooperative, but Duo knew that it created slaves. It was like being trapped in your own body, you could still hear and see and feel what was happening, but you had no control over your body. The poison, since it attacked the rain, was also highly addictive and the withdrawal was sometimes deadly and the drug itself was painful until the last second it was worked out of your system. The only consolation was the human survival instinct, something so deeply written in every person that it couldn't be over looked, so it was impossible to order someone to do anything that would put them in danger, but to Duo, it didn't make him feel better.

Duo screamed in utter agony as the drug overwhelmed his mind and took control in a matter of minutes.

“Stop screaming,” Wes said. It was like a switch had been thrown, Duo stopped screaming, though trapped in his mind, he was still screaming. It was like being shoved off a tall cliff, he fell deep into his own mind, cut off from his physical body. Duo wanted to flinch, blink, something as Wes shone a bright light in his eyes, checking his pupils, but he was lost. Duo could hear his heart beating unpleasantly fast, another side affect of the drug, and could feel the terrible pain even worse than before, but the outer stimulus of Wes' hands on his legs and the soft sheets under his back seemed distant. He experimentally tried to scream, but he couldn't so much as open his mouth. Wes unlocked the chains and pulled Duo to his knees. Duo just stared at them, dumbly, his mind and spirit gone from his eyes.

“Man, that shit is great!” Stevens exclaimed, “You can make him do anything?”

“Almost anything,” Chris said proudly.

“How much does it cost?” Stevens asked excitedly.

“It isn't Tylenol,” Wes reprimanded sharply and the black haired man wilted under his glare, “it has to be carefully administered and monitored or you'll end up giving him an aneurism.”

“It's fine, unless you care about the person you're giving it to,” Chris joked, “it's great for our other… business. It's better than heroin for getting whores hooked and doing what they're supposed to do. It doesn't come cheap, of course.”

“What's in it?” Stevens asked.

“That's a trade secret,” Chris grinned, giving Wes a look of deep admiration, though Wes didn't seem to notice.

“How long does it take to wear off?” Stevens continued with his interrogation.

“13 hours,” Wes said, “withdrawal starts three hours after that.”

“Plenty of time to play,” Chris chuckled, sitting on the bed. Duo's flat eyes stared out into space as Chris sat, his long, muscular legs slightly bent as his formidable body couldn't fit on the bed as well as Duo's smaller one.

“The human mind is really just a complex computer,” Chris explained, “once you figure out how to work it, you can get it to do just about anything. Now, Duo, look at me.”

Duo's eyes met the larger man.

“Come here.”

The longhaired boy moved on his knees, his arms still bound, over to Chris. Chris petted Duo's hair like a dog.

“Good boy, now unzip my pants.”

Duo's legs were still chained, though the chains were completely slack, but he still tried with all of his will power to move. A single twitch would be a godsend, but there was nothing. He `watched' in alarm as his body moved towards Chris. This couldn't be happening again! He wanted his body back, at the very least he could scream and fight, not this robotic acceptance. This was worse than rape, worse than being forced to enjoy it. It was the worst betrayal. It was even worse than being chained up. How could he possibly escape his own mind?

Duo thrashed against the barriers of his mind as his hand unzipped Chris' pants.

“Suck on my cock,” Chris ordered. Without a second's hesitation or flash of anger in Duo's eyes, he freed the man's large erection and wrapped his mouth around the head, slowly engulfing the whole thing. Even under the influence of the drug, he struggled to get it down his throat, but he managed. Chris groaned loudly as he was suddenly surrounded by heat and tangled his hand in Duo's hair, the other squeezing Duo's ass, but let the boy suck him at his leisure.

“That's it, use your tongue,” Chris instructed, groaning as Duo's nimble tongue swirled around him and sucked him deeply. It was strange watching him do it. Usually he would have his eyes closed as though he couldn't bear to keep them open, but now they were wide and empty.

“He's like the perfect sex doll,” Stevens mused. Wes stayed silent, watching intently. Chris gripped tighter at Duo's hair as the longhaired boy lapped at his head. The boy was incredible, even drugged out of his mind. His mouth was moist and tight, not as tight as his ass would be, but tight enough. He felt too good, though. Duo always was one of the few that could make him cum just from a blow job, usually he had better self control.

“Stop,” he commanded and watched in satisfaction as he slid his mouth off of him.

“Ride me,” Chris said, sitting back on his hands, his glistening cock jutting out from his body proudly. Stevens and Wes watched as Duo crawled onto the muscular man and took him completely, his pert ass sliding all the way down to the brunette's balls, making the man scream in pleasure.

Duo cried out mentally as he was penetrated by the huge cock. He was still wet and stretched from Stevens, but Chris always made it hurt. There was nothing to distract him from feeling the pain and he fought uselessly to get off of him. It was terrible, he couldn't even cry. He could even felt the blood and tearing more vividly. He wanted to scream as Chris started to thrust into his damaged body, the pain searing. Everything hurt, it had hurt for so long. He couldn't remember what it had felt like to be whole. He missed Name. She had been the only adult to ever treat him kindly and she didn't have to He remembered the house, all white wood and soft rugs, the painting of lilacs in the hall, the big, comfy red couch in the living room and the large dark table in the kitchen where they had had so many wonderful meals. It had been the only place in the world where he had been safe. When he was there, nothing and no one could touch him. These men could never hurt him there… Chris came inside of him with a loud cry and Duo's side and insides throbbed unpleasantly. Wes joined his friend on the bed, but before he could go inside of him, Duo sunk deeper and deeper into his memories until he was completely gone from reality.

 

*****

 

Three more days had come and gone and Heero was now positive that Duo would never be returning to school again. He hadn't just run away, he had disappeared off the face of the Earth. He knew that his mother, Quatre, and Trowa had never stopped looking; he also knew that no one was going to find him. He had the distinct feeling that if Duo didn't want to be found, he wouldn't, but the longer that he was missing, the more Heero yearned for some answers. He would never forgive him, but he still wanted to know why, he thought that Duo owed him that much. He missed him. He hated to admit it, but he truly did miss his Duo. Not the Duo that he had seen fucking Zechs, but the Duo that had melted in his arms that night, the Duo that had gone to the movies with him, the Duo that he had fallen in love with. He wished that he could just forget about that other Duo and pretend that everything was ok, but reality kept encroaching on that illusion.

Heero couldn't go back to the way he was before meeting Duo. He still arrived early to school and, while he felt constantly angry, it was different. He didn't feel like bothering people, he just wanted to be left alone. The door to the classroom opened and Heero's head shot up. His heart nearly stopped and he looked eagerly towards the door, but his excitement fell as an unfamiliar student walked through. He couldn't understand it, why did things have to be this way? Why was it that every time that door opened, he could imagine Duo walking through, even when he knew that it wasn't Duo? Why did he have to get so excited at the thought of Duo coming back when all he wanted to do was scream at him for what he had done? Why did things have to be so confusing?

Heero still ate lunch alone, that hadn't changed since he was a kid. As Wufei came into the lunch room, he glowered at Heero. What relationship they had had become strained because of Duo's disappearance. Wufei, rightly, believed that Heero had had something to do with it, and also thought that Heero knew where Duo was, and that Heero refused to tell him out of some stupid grudge. The first week, the Chinese boy had done nothing but pester him about it, but now all he did was glare at him. Treize hadn't stopped interrogating him about it, but Heero wasn't telling anyone anything. None of them had known Duo like he had known him. No one deserved to know the truth because no one had dared to know him like he had. When he returned to class, he didn't pay attention to his teacher, his eyes focused on the door, waiting for it to open.

 

*****

 

Duo floated for what seemed like an endless amount of time. He tried to stay deep in his fantasy world of safety and kindness, but his reality kept bringing him back up. He felt so heavy and cloudy. Was it possible for your mind to feel dirty? He knew that his mind felt sick, floating from memories of his times with Heero to the sex and abuse of the real world. His body burned both from the rapes and the drugs that Wes continually shot him up with. He would let it wear off for about an hour, enough for Duo to gain control of his body and have all of the memories flood back to him in a disjointed, nightmarish jumble, but too worn out to move, then inject him again. He didn't recognize most of the men that Wes brought with him and he didn't know what was worse, the exploration of strangers, or Wes and Chris, who knew his body inside and out and knew how to make him scream inside of his cage. He had no idea what day it was or even if it was night or morning. For him, time had died. All he knew was the space between each cock, each rough hand. There was so much blood and semen, now. Sometimes when he came out of his dreams, the sheets would be clean, but more often than not, he could feel the mess under his skin. He felt worn down into nothing, like he was dying but his body was still whole. Without any control of his body, he couldn't tell if he was sleeping or just daydreaming. He just… floated. He knew that his body was sick in the tightness of his chest and not even Wes' orders could keep him from coughing. Surely the man knew now that he wasn't going to last for much longer, but Duo knew that he would never take him to a hospital, he would let him die here. His insides felt hot and tight where they hadn't before and his body felt like it was tearing itself apart. There was something wrong with his shoulder, where Wes had bitten him so long ago, he couldn't move it and it felt heavy, like there was a softball where his muscle should have been. His side was worse than ever, though he couldn't tell if it was actually swollen or if it just felt that way.

Wes had left to go to the bathroom and, for a brief while at least, no one else was in the apartment. The drugs were starting to wear off again and Duo thought that it was night. His head felt like something was squeezing it and he would have thrown up if there was anything in his stomach. It was withdrawal, plain and simple. He had gone through it before, but now it was much worse, he had been taking it for too long. How long that was; days, weeks, months, years, he had no idea. His wrists were cuffed together with the thick manacles, as were his feet, but chains were no longer attached to them. What was the point of chains if you couldn't run away? Duo had no desire to run anymore. He was too tired, he just wanted to sleep, truly sleep, not float. He rolled onto his unwounded side and curled up into a ball. He heard the bedroom door open and Wes slipped into bed with him. He slept with him constantly now and Duo wondered why he didn't just sleep in the other bed, if he was truly paranoid about him running away again or if it was something else. He remembered how Wes had confessed that Duo was the most important thing in his life and this strange, hot, sick little emotion boiled in his chest. Tears started to pour down his cheeks. He had lived with Wes for so long, the man was all that he knew, all that he could really, truly remember about his past. He was his whole world. He had clothed him, fed him, made it possible for him to go to school. How had he ever thought that he could escape him? Love… was that what that feeling was? Wes was the only father that he had ever known, he couldn't escape from him anymore than he could escape from himself. His punishments hurt, just like any parent's, but sometimes he made him feel good, too, even if Duo didn't like it when he did that. Wes wrapped a tight arm around Duo's waist and snuggled against him, making Duo's worn body tighten in anxiety.

“Please, let me go, Wes,” Duo rasped, his throat so raw from coughing that he could barely talk, “I won't run away anymore, you know that. I can't take this anymore, please!”

Wes rubbed his nose against the back of Duo's thin neck.

“I love you like a son. I know I don't say that and I know that we fight a lot, but I do love you. I thought that after all this time, you would understand that and start listening to me,” Wes said mournfully. Duo felt his chest tighten further. Was Wes telling the truth? Duo could never figure out why he was living with Wes instead of a brothel or why he let him go about on his own and go to school. Could it really be true that Wes loved him? He had told Duo to consider him his father, but he had never put much thought into that. His body remembered the pain that Wes had put him in, but he had deserved that once he had run away and started lying to him. The truth was, Wes had taken care of him and though he had been rough, sometimes he had been nice to him, too. He had no one else in his life, no one that had taken care of him and professed to love him. Wes sighed.

“Why do you do this to me?” he asked in exasperation, “I'm still mad at you, but I forgive you. I believe that you've learned your lesson, but I'm still going to keep you on a short leash.”

“Thank you, thank you,” Duo sobbed as Wes unbuckled his manacles. He was pathetically weak after so long of being drugged and in bed, but he managed to throw his arms around Wes shoulders and hug him.

“Thank you…”

 

*****

 

Wes gave Duo the next two days off to regain his strength and left the apartment, leaving Duo in blessed solitude. Duo shakily walked the entire apartment, trying to get some strength back in his legs. With each step, blood tracked down his legs and sometimes he worried that he might fall, but little by little, he got steadier. His stomach felt hollow, but the withdrawal made him feel nauseous, so he didn't bother with food. His muscles ached as his body yearned for more of the drug even as his mind was relieved to be back to the way that things had been. He felt as though the sweat and blood and semen had caked into his skin and stumbled into the bathroom. As he flipped on the light, he cried out, the brightness of the light sent sharp pain through his eyes. He had spent who knew how long in almost complete darkness and it took him a good five minutes to get his eyes to stop watering. Wes had given him permission to take a shower and Duo got one ready, digging into one of the cabinets to find a clean towel and shampoo. He caught his reflection in a mirror and froze.

He looked terrible. He was thinner and paler than he had ever been before, but his face was flushed with fever and his eyes were flat and dead. He could see his ribs and his joints were visible through his pallid skin. His shoulder and side were indeed badly swollen and he groaned as a sharp pain stabbed in his side, but it hurt even more when he tried to feel it. The pus leaking out of the wound on his shoulder was starting to turn green. He was covered in bruises and cuts and burns, but nothing seemed to be healing. Various spots on his body were caked with semen and blood, but the worst was his thighs, especially since he was still bleeding down there. His hair was a mess and he certainly wasn't relishing trying to comb it out, but he was almost salivating at the thought of finally being clean.

The hot water was indeed heavenly, though it made him hiss in pain at first, but then the semen and blood disappeared down the drain and he no longer cared about the sting. It hurt to raise his hands. His wrists and ankles were black with bruises and contusions from tugging at the bonds, but he managed to wash his hair, twice considering the mess, and scrubbed at his body with a soft washcloth. It took a long time to feel clean, but once he was done, he staid in the shower, letting the hot water wash over him. He blinked down at the drain as he saw blood, not pink, but bright red, swirling there. It wasn't possible! He reached around and lightly touched his torn entrance, then looked at his blood stained fingers in alarm. Why was he still bleeding? He crouched down on his knees and swiped at his ass with the washcloth, then rinsed the blood off, repeating it four times, but each times the cloth was stained with deep red blood. He threw the washcloth down with a frustrated cry. Why?! Why wouldn't it stop?!

 

*****

 

Ultimately, it took Duo almost two hours to get the bleeding to stop. He told himself not to worry about it, that he bled all the time, but he still did worry, because it had never taken this long… he shook off his anxiety for the moment and settled on fixing his hair and putting on some clothes. In the end, it hurt too much to put his hair in a braid, so he used a ponytail instead. All he could find for clothes was a tight, long sleeved white shirt, his denim jacket, and a pair of low riding jeans that laced up the legs and crotch. Wes still wasn't back by the time that Duo felt alive again and he managed to revel in that freedom for awhile. He was… free. There were no chains tying him down, no drugs draining him… his bare feet relished the feeling of the rough run under them instead of the soft sheets, his eyes traveling the ceiling with its bright lights. He started to laugh. He wasn't going to die! Wes had forgiven him… he could see the sky again!

But, as great as freedom was, he couldn't stand being in the apartment, which still smelled like sex and cigarette smoke from the constant stream of men coming and going. He felt ghost hands on his hips and a raspy voice in his ear and shuddered, but shoved the memories away. That didn't matter anymore, it was behind him as long as he behaved. It didn't matter anyway, he couldn't escape Wes and he had no reason to disobey him anymore. He laced up his boots and walked out, closing the door behind him and stuffing the spare key in his pocket. He whistled and watched the shadows, laughing as he was suddenly swarmed by furry missiles intent on licking his hand and molding themselves to his legs. It appeared that in the time that he was captive, the other cats had disappeared. It looked like he would never get to name them, but his five had waited for him. He crouched low enough to scoop Shiva and Sammy into his arms and pet as much of the others as he could reach.

“I missed you guys,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. Toby butted his head against Duo's leg to show how worried he had been while Shiva and Sammy curled up in his lap. Even pregnant Patches had come out to greet him. They were all alive and healthy, how they had all found their way back here and why he didn't know, but right now, he didn't really care.

 

*****

 

After catering to his furry family, Duo decided to visit his human one. On his way, he learned the date and discovered, to his shock, that it had been two weeks since Wes had dragged him back to the apartment. He didn't know if he was so shocked because it had been so long or so short. The sky was not the beautiful powdered blue that he had hoped and the sun was nowhere in sight as it started to rain. Duo walked through the streets past people running for cover and others huddling under umbrellas. The rain poured down on him until his hair stuck to him, but he didn't mind it. Solo was on the same street as always and Duo's heart soared at the sight of him and Shi. The two of them were dressed for their prospective jobs and the weather, huddling against each other under a store's overhang. Solo was dressed in ripped jeans, a mesh top, and stylish, but clearly secondhand jacket that had fake fur lining the hood, his blond hair pulled back with his ever present headband. Shi was, as always, not so… decadent with cameo pants, a leather jacket, black shirt, worn combat boots, and his father's dog tags proudly hanging from a chain around his neck.

“Duo!” Shi squealed, lifting Duo clear off the ground with a shocked cry as he swept him up into his arms and twirled him around.

“Shi!” Duo choked, but once his feet met ground again, he returned the borderline sociopath's hug.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Solo screamed even as he hugged Duo tightly, making him wince, though neither of them noticed. As Solo let him go, Duo's first instinct was to lie and say something like that he had come down with some horrible disease, but these were his friends, they knew everything about him, so he told the truth.

“I ran away from the apartment,” Duo said.

“Way to go, man!” Solo cheered, clapping Duo on the shoulder. “It's about time you got out from under that pedophile's thumb!”

“But he found me,” Duo continued, his eyes becoming dull with the memory and both Shi and Solo's eyes widened at both the admission and the sight of Duo's pretty eyes becoming hollow. Solo felt sick as he realized that the vividness of his eyes had just been a mask and this was what his eyes were really like now.

“Duo…”

“He brought me back, chained me to the bed, gave me drugs and brought guys to the apartment to do whatever they wanted to me.”

Shi looked furious, but Solo just looked like he was going to throw up.

“That bastard!” Shi swore, “How could he do that?!”

“He forgave me, after everything that I did to him, he forgave me. He let me go!”

“What the fuck!” Solo exploded, “He kidnapped and raped you! He drugged you and let who knows how many men rape you and you go around defending him to us?!”

“He said that he loves me,” Duo murmured, but the words sounded strange to him.

“So that gives him the right to violate you?” Shi asked, his eyes like fire stones. “Why are you defending this guy? Two weeks ago, Wes Maxwell could have dropped dead and you would have spat on his corpse, now that he's done this horrible thing to you, you accept this half assed confession from him?”

Duo blinked up at him.

“I… I don't… I just… he didn't have to let me go…”

“No, he didn't,” Shi said, “but he didn't have to rape you in the first place either! Don't give me that bullshit!”

Duo bit his lip. Shi hugged him tightly.

“Look, I've seen this before. This man's abusing you, so you grab at the slightest bit of affection because he's in the position of power and you're the victim, so you think that if there's a reason, maybe even some feelings behind the abuse, that makes it ok, but it doesn't!”

“I know that!” Duo whispered harshly, “But he's still all I have! And I believe him when he says that he loves me. What if I love him? Does that make me sick, too?”

Solo laid his head over Duo's.

“No, honey, it makes you love starved.”

Duo wiped at his eyes harshly.

“Look, he just let me go this morning, I can't handle talking about it right now.”

Shi nodded and the two blondes let him go.

“Where's the rest of you guys anyway?” Duo asked, looking about for some sign of the other five. Shi shared a look with Solo, then looked Duo in the eye.

“Duo, Yuki's dead.”

Duo's eyes widened.

“What?! No, that can't be… when did this happen?!” he demanded.

“Last week,” Solo said, “they found him dumped in an alley. It was a couple of his johns, they got too rough with him, but it wasn't an accident, do you get that? They cut his hair…”

Duo paled. Yuki, quiet, dependable Yuki, and he had missed the last week of his life… he covered his eyes with his hand.

“Amaaya, Alex, and Aluxiel left the state. Amaaya was really broken up about it and the three of them decided to cut town.”

Duo stared at him.

“All three of them just left? What were they planning to do?!”

“Something about Boston,” Shi shrugged, “something the lot of us are too chicken shit to do.”

“But what about Hi?”

Solo smiled softly.

“His kids are scared of storms, so he's home looking after them.”

Duo smiled at the thought of the strong redhead cuddling with little versions of him. Solo grinned at him.

“Man, if I'd have a dad like that… let me tell ya, Hi'd never let his kids do this shit for a living! He'd sooner sell his whole soul, which is pretty much what he's doing…” Solo and Duo's eyes turned dark at the thought. Shi rubbed at his dog tags, his eyes looking far off. Those intense eyes turned to Duo once more.

“I've lost too many loved ones,” he said angrily, “I'm not going to lose you, too,” with that, Shi walked off into the storm, not caring how soaked he got. Solo and Duo watched him go, looking confused.

“Come on,” Solo said, “the fish ain't bitin' on a night like this, let's get something to eat.”

 

*****

 

Another two weeks had passed and still no Duo. Worry, and just a tiny bit of guilt had turned Heero's insides into a war zone. He couldn't stop dreaming about him and he somehow knew that something bad had happened and for some reason that he couldn't really understand, he blamed himself. He should have dragged Duo off with him instead of running away like some coward. Yuys were not cowards, they solved their own goddamn problems! Questions stung Heero like swarming wasps. Nothing made sense anymore, his own mind didn't make sense. When had his anger turned so completely into worry? Duo had fucked Zechs and he had probably tried to get money out of him, so why the nightmares? Why did he keep seeing Duo lying in a pool of blood and why did he feel so guilty about it?

He was dreaming again, tossing and turning in bed, but it wasn't really a dream, it was a memory, hundreds of memories.

 

“But I don't want to use your hot water.”

 

If Duo had indeed wanted to use his money and Zechs had ruined his plans, then why had Duo been so stubborn about accepting it when Heero had tried to buy him things? He had been worried about using up his hot water like it was gold. It didn't make sense.

 

“That door locks.”

 

What kind of boy didn't lock a bathroom door… that was just sick.

 

“Really?! I've never played before!”

 

What kind of boy had never played video games before?

 

“I've never had any friends before. No one's ever cared enough about me to want to be my friend. So, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for asking me to stay over, you didn't have to. I don't even know why you want to be friends with me.”

 

Heero started to cry in his sleep. He didn't know about the rest of their relationship, but at that moment, he knew with a hundred percent clarity that Duo had been telling the truth. Duo was so beautiful… how could he have never had friends and why had he thanked him with tears in his eyes?

 

“It's nothing so small, Heero. You just don't understand…”

 

Duo…

 

“I will get what I want.”

 

Heero's brow furrowed in sleep. He remembered that fight and how Zechs had sworn revenge. He remembered that day in the bushes. Zechs had beaten Duo so hard he had been coughing up blood. Duo had been in so much pain… Was he so self-righteous that he could hate Duo just for trying to make the pain stop? That note in his locker… Zechs had obviously set Duo up, especially with his vow for revenge.

 

“This isn't the first time Zechs has gone after me and nothing happened them and nothing will happen now.”

 

Zechs had had sex with Duo on school property and no one had done anything about it, Heero hadn't done anything about it. He had seen Zechs on a regular basis and he had never attacked him for it, all because he was pissed at Duo, his best friend. What the fuck was wrong with him?!

 

“Please, you're my best friend.”

 

Heero shot awake, almost screaming. He wiped furiously at his tears. Duo's last words rang through his heart like a bitter sword. He had called him his best friend, and he, in return, had slapped him, called him disgusting. He had begged him… had he betrayed him or were Quatre, Trowa, and his mother right and he had only been hoping that Duo had betrayed him? He tore the sheets off of his body and walked downstairs.

 

*****

 

Name was still awake, watching the news. After looking for Duo hadn't panned out, they had started to look at morgues, newspapers, and broadcasts, though they had hated to do it, but since Duo had basically disappeared, it was plausible that he was dead. Name clutched at her shirt at the very painful thought. She looked up as her son as he walked down the steps.

“Couldn't sleep?” she asked, taking in his bloodshot eyes.

“Do we have a map of this town?”

Name stared at him.

“Heero, what's wrong?”

He ran a shaky hand through his hair.

“I want to help, no, I need to help. Please, mom.”

Name smiled.

“Alright, Heero. Sit down, I'll tell you what we've found.”

 

*****

 

It quickly became clear to Heero that he had no information and no talents that his own mother did not already possess when his search for Duo ended the same way all the others had. It was completely ridiculous! How could someone like Duo disappear like this? Why did all his information end dead? The thought that Duo could be in trouble fueled his efforts, but he had no leads and ended up walking the streets of downtown in frustration. It probably hadn't been the best idea for someone as recognizable to be walking these streets on foot, he realized once he noticed that someone was following him, someone that was bigger than him. He frowned and walked faster. He could conceivably yell for help, but on a rainy day like this, it was doubtful anyone would hear him. He could face his attacker, but that seemed foolish even to him. The decision was taken out of his hands as he was grabbed from behind, spun, and pinned to the wall of a closed restaurant. Red eyes like that of a demon stared at him out of the darkness.

“You Heero Yuy?” the person asked and Heero realized in shock that the `mugger' was just a boy a little older than him, an attractive boy at that, with long golden hair, but his arms were long and muscular and Heero could see a hunting knife on his belt.

“Yes,” he hissed. The blonde grinned and Heero felt him shove a piece in his hand.

“Duo's around there,” the boy said simply and started to walk off. Heero blinked at him in confusion, looking down at the paper.

“We've already looked there!” he protested. Crimson eyes looked back at him.

“His address is fake, but that street still exists. Hang out there long enough and you'll spot him.”

“Who the hell are you?” Heero hissed, clutching at the paper like it was his only saving grace. The red eyed boy sighed.

“Look, Duo's in deep shit and right now he can't pull himself out, so he needs your help. Unfortunately, you're the only one who can help him.”

“What kind of trouble?” Heero asked, his heart burning. This boy knew Duo!

“Just find him,” the boy said wearily and walked off.

 

*****

 

Shi smirked as he walked away. The kid sure had hooked himself a hot one. Of course, everyone knew that Heero Yuy was cute, but in person he was something else! At least Solo would be pleased that he had lost to someone worthy. He had wanted to tell Yuy the truth about Duo, but it wasn't his place, so he had just given him his location. Now, everything else was up to the two of them and, hopefully, at least one of their little group could have a happy ending. Or, at least Duo could see his love one last time. If only they could have all been that lucky.

 

*****

 

As Solo left for the night, Duo felt any happiness he had felt dissipating. It had been hard putting on a smile for his old friend and he felt drained now that he had nothing to prove. He knew that Shi and Solo had been right and whatever he felt for Wes didn't mean anything in the face of what the man had done to him, but he also couldn't ignore the fact that he was walking around now because of him and he was probably alive because of Wes' shelter. He rubbed at his chilled chest, coughing harshly. Shi was wrong about one thing, however, it didn't matter how much the blonde tried to save him, he was already half dead, he was just waiting for either the sickness or his wounds to finish the job on his worn down body. He was glad that he would go that way instead of what Wes had promised him, for that he considered himself lucky.

The rain was still pouring down making the neon lights glow like halos in the distance. Despite the rain, Duo saw the man coming down the block and he recognized him, not by his face or eyes, but his walk and the bright red shirt that he always wore. Parker, or at least that had been the name he had used, though it could have been a lie since Duo had been so out of it at the time. It was one of the strange men Wes had brought to the apartment, though Duo only remembered the red shirt and the limp the man had in his left leg from when he had had trouble in certain positions. Duo watched cautiously as the man got closer to him and realized that he wasn't just walking out in the rain for no reason. Age old instinct screamed at him to run, that there was only one reason why the man would seek him out and his body couldn't handle that right now, but he didn't.

Parker smiled at him and came close enough to shelter Duo with his large navy umbrella. Duo shuddered as he recognized his heavy scent and large hands. He should have gone to the apartment once night had fallen, but he hated the thought of going back there.

“Are you Maxwell's boy?” the man asked in the sort of eagerness that Duo had come to both anticipate, understand, and loathe. For the first time, Duo realized that the man's eyes were blue, not Heero's blue, but a dull, powdered blue like the noon sky. He nodded. Parker grinned.

“What are you doing out here in this weather?”

“Watching the rain,” Duo said. The strange answer made the man frown and he studied Duo's face.

“Does your father know you're out here?”

“Yes.”

Parker gained his father back and he grabbed Duo's upper arm.

“Why don't we get out of this rain?”

Duo let the man drag him off under an overhang and push him against one of the shop windows.

“Someone will see,” Duo protested. Parker nipped at his neck, leaving a small hickey.

“It's pouring, kiddo, no one's out here but us,” he assured him, unzipping Duo's pants.

“It's fifty,” Duo said. The man snorted.

“I'm a little short right now,” the blue eyed man snuck his hands down the back of Duo's jeans. Duo stared blankly into the blackness of the night. He realized that the man had never intended to pay in the first place.

“You can't-,” Duo started to protest when the man's grip on his arm tightened threateningly and he stopped. He didn't care. What difference did it make? One man, two, three… it didn't matter anymore. He was above violation. It was just flesh anyway, right? Rape wasn't such a big deal, he had survived it over and over again… Duo's tears were masked by the rain still on his face. Parker unzipped his slacks and slid a hand under Duo's top.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?!”

Duo suddenly came back to himself. He knew that voice… He looked over Parker's shoulder into the rain and saw Heero standing in the rain, soaked and furious, his beautiful blue eyes, the right shade of blue, glowing in the dark of the storm, his hair still somehow tussled even under the weight of the water.

`Heero…'

“Shit!” Parker swore, realizing the deadly territory that he was in and zipped up his pants hastily, letting go of Duo who slumped against the window and ran off past Heero. Heero didn't go after him, his eyes solely fixed on Duo. Duo blinked uselessly at him, trying to get his eyes to tell him the truth. There was no way that Heero could be here now, it was impossible! Heero stood in front of him anyway, glaring at him.

“Are you a whore?” he demanded. Duo stared at him. His fuddled mind couldn't figure out what was going on.

“Yes.”

Heero growled low in his throat and grabbed Duo's arm, dragging him to an unfamiliar, silver Lamborghini, opening the door and shoving him inside.

“Get in,” he snapped. Duo dumbly sat down in the creamy leather seats.

 

*****

 

Heero kept one eye on the road and another on Duo, who huddled in the seat. His heart cried out at the sight of him. How long had it been since they had last seen each other? But, anger still boiled inside of him. So, it hadn't been just Zechs, Duo had been whoring himself to anyone that had been willing to pay. His grip on the steering wheel tightened and he pulled over into a gas station, turning off the engine and he glared at Duo.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Duo stared at him with such flat eyes that it made Heero flinch. This person wasn't his Duo, this was someone else, a stranger.

“You're fifteen years old, you have no business doing this!” Heero screamed. Duo flinched away from him like he had been struck and Heero paled.

“This is so disgusting,” Heero shook his head, “How could you do this? This is worse than that thing with Zechs! How can you give your body to complete strangers?!”

Duo's heart clenched. Heero was here, but he was so angry and it was all his fault. He tried to be strong, but there was no strength yet and he started to sob.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you!”

“Yeah, well you have a real knack for it anyway!” Heero snapped back. Duo wrapped his hands around his stomach.

“I didn't have a choice…”

“Everyone has a choice!” Heero roared, “Don't you dare defend it to me!”

“I was so hungry…” Duo's vision started to waver and he shook a little, but it wasn't because of the tears. Emotional agony ripped through him. Heero hated him… and he was right, he was disgusting.

“Then you should have found another way!” Heero's rage crested and he realized that if he stayed in the car for too long, he wouldn't be able to control himself.

“Stay in the fucking car,” he snarled, opening and slamming the door and storming into the gas station. Duo watched him go with tears in his eyes.

`Heero, I'm sorry, but this is who I am.'

 

*****

 

Heero paced through the aisles of the gas stations snack supply, not noticing the strange looks that the attendant was giving him. What the hell was he going to do? His emotions surged in a confused jumble inside of him. How could Duo do this? He was so angry… but why? Duo had sold himself, but he no longer believed that he had used him, so why was he angrier now than before? The sight of that man doing that to Duo… He should have been happy about finding him, but he was just so mad about what he had seen. He had come here to take Duo home and get some answers, not explode at him again. Why was he so out of control where Duo was concerned?

`Because you love him,' a small voice that sounded suspiciously like his mother said deep in his mind. He sighed and felt a little bit of the madness ebb away. He had to get Duo home, that was all that mattered. He could be mad at him when he was safe. All he knew was that there was something horribly wrong, that look on Duo's face had been terrible. He bought some hot chocolate for Duo because he had looked so cold and returned to the car. He ran when he saw that Duo's door was open.

“Fuck!” he swore as he saw blood on the seat and a few specks of blood on the dash board. He had screwed up again! He had to find him and get him some help… As Heero started off the car and sped off, his nightmares of Duo dying in a pool of blood.

 

*****

 

Heero hated him… that was all that Duo could think of as he ran. Heero, he had missed him so much, but he didn't care about him anymore, how could he? Rain poured into his eyes and he tripped, skinning his knees on the pavement and he fell onto his bad side, screaming in pain. Why was this happening?! Why did he have to hurt Heero over and over and over again? Heero… he just wanted to be with him! He curled up into a ball as the rain soaked him to the bone and he shivered violently, his withdrawal building up and he coughed hard, blood splattering onto the concrete, the legs of his jeans soaked in the dark red stuff. Everything hurt… why couldn't he just die? If he couldn't be with Heero, he didn't want to survive anymore. He didn't want to whore himself anymore! He just couldn't do it, he couldn't bear the thought of anyone touching him when he knew that Heero had been out, looking for him. Even if he hated him, Duo couldn't stop loving him. He was so cold… Large hands grabbed him and lifted him, but he was too tired to even open his eyes.

 

*****

 

Duo was rudely awakened as he was dropped to the floor. His vision was more blurry than usual as he blinked in the bright lights. He felt a soft carpet under him, but he had no idea where he was.

“Wake up,” a harsh voice ordered, a large hand slapping him in the face.

“Chris?” he murmured. The large man smirked down at him.

“I told Wes that he was an idiot for trusting you again, even when he ordered me to follow you, I knew that you were just going to slip up again, and here you are, running to Yuy again!”

“Fuck you,” Duo murmured, looking around the small room for something that he could use as a weapon.

“No, no, no, see, you have that all backwards! I'm going to fuck you and then you're going straight back to Wes where you belong!”

“I'm never going back there!” Duo said with as much strength that he could muster. Chris suddenly grabbed his head and slammed it to the floor.

“I suggest that you learn to respect your elders,” he snarled, punching Duo in the chest. He grabbed Duo's bad side and squeezed. Duo's eyes shot open and he screamed. He felt something hot and terrible burst in his side and an agony like he had never felt filled him. He curled up defensively, dry heaving as nausea attacked him. His vision became gray and shifted between blackness.

“Oh, god, oh, god…” he whimpered. His heart was beating too fast, even more than when he ran for a long time. Chris grabbed his shoulder and slammed him against the floor again.

“Shut up!” he snapped. Duo grabbed feebly at his pain for some sort of psychotic strength and his vision returned for a few seconds. He wrapped his legs around Chris's throat and squeezed. Chris choked and grabbed at his legs, but Duo refused to let go. He couldn't see beyond the bright lights and his own terrible pain, but he blindly searched wildly with his hands until he came in contact with something solid and slammed the lamp down on Chris' head. He felt Chris' heavy body fall on him and he blacked out.

 

*****

 

Duo awoke in an alley somewhere, laying in a puddle and choking on the water. He sat up quickly to keep from drowning, coughing up blood and curling up to protect his side. His vision was still blurry and distorted and his glasses were missing. He was bleeding all over the place and he couldn't remember how he had gotten there. He pushed himself to his feet, only to immediately fall back down. He stumbled back to his feet and felt at the wall, leading himself out of the alley. Pain pounded in his side and he fell to his knees again, crying out in frustration. He had to get to shelter… he had to go to the only place where it's safe. He needed to go home.

 

*****

 

Heero slammed on the breaks for what felt like the hundredth time as the rain became too much for his vision. He wasn't getting anywhere at this rate! His eyes strayed to the blood on the seat. Duo was hurt and sick and who knew what else and he had to find him, but it was impossible in this storm! Heero banged his head against the steering wheel and cursed his temper. He had lost control again and he had lost Duo because of it. He didn't blame Duo for running away, it was all his fault. At least last time he had thought that Duo had been scamming him, now Duo really did need his help and he had still attacked him.

Heero tried to think. Obviously looking for Duo like this wasn't working. He had to think about where Duo would go, but he still didn't know where Duo lived! Suddenly, it clicked. If he was hurt and sick, there was only one place that he would go, a place where people cared about him and he was totally safe.

 

*****

 

Even though he couldn't see very well, the Yuy house was still the best thing that he had ever seen. How long had it been since he had been here? He almost cried as he touched the smooth wood of the door. All the lights were off in the house, but the power wasn't out. He had been to this place so many times, he easily remembered the security codes. If he had any thought process left, he would have wondered why the world around him was so blurry and impossible to understand but it was so easy to him to break into his ex-friend's house. But, he didn't care, all he could think about was getting home, like a pregnant cat looking for a porch to crawl under.

There was no one in the house and he wasn't stopped as he staggered up the steps into Heero's room. He almost fell at the smell of Heero and the memories that this room held. He sat on the amazingly soft carpet and pulled Heero's blanket off the bed and wrapped it around himself. It smelled like Heero… he could almost imagine that Heero was here, holding him.

 

*****

 

Heero almost cried out in joy when he saw that the house still had no lights on, but the door was wide open. Could it be that he finally had a break? His joy quickly vanished as he followed the water tracks into the house, which soon turned into blood tracks. Duo was bleeding, but why? What if he had been shot or stabbed? He ran up the stairs, following the trail of blood to his bedroom. He froze at the sight of Duo wrapped up in his blanket, the blue quilt stained with blood. Duo was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, and not moving. He ran to him, falling to the floor and shaking him.

“Duo! Duo, you have to wake up!” but his cries were useless and Duo didn't stir. Heero panicked. Was he dead? Had he killed him?! There was so much blood… Heero pressed his fingers to Duo's neck. His pulse was racing almost impossibly fast, but the beat wasn't strong and Duo's breathing was unsteady and raspy.

“Come on, Duo, I know you're stronger than this,” he murmured as he untangled the blanket and Duo groaned in annoyance at his source of heat and security being taken away. Heero winced as he saw the blood soaked white t-shirt. He lifted the shirt and paled as he saw that Duo's side was horribly swollen and bleeding, but it wasn't the blood that bothered him, it was the fact that the swollen mass was a deep purple.

`Internal bleeding,' he thought angrily. Duo blinked up at him blearily.

“Hee… ro?” he rasped. Heero bit his lip and hugged Duo close, apologizing profusely as Duo made a small noise of pain.

“Duo, don't talk, I'm going to get you to a hospital, ok?” Heero rambled, panicking.

“Heero, please… you have to kill me…” Duo begged, his eyes clouded over in pain.

“What?!” Heero snapped, “What the hell, Duo?!”

“It hurts so much! I can't take this anymore, I'm so tired of being in pain… I just want to be with you… you're the best thing that's ever happened to me… please, just make it stop!” Duo cried. Heero stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.

“You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, too, and I'm so sorry, Duo! I had no right to say those things! I was just angry…”

Duo shook his head.

“It's ok, Heero, don't apologize…” he murmured, starting to fade into darkness again. Heero felt tears track down his cheek, but didn't pay any attention to them.

“I'm going to save you,” Heero swore, “I'll make the pain stop, but my way!” he hooked Duo's knees with his arms and wrapped his other around his back, gently lifting him up.

“… thank you, Heero…”

 

*****

 

The ride to the hospital was the longest thing Heero had ever done. Every five seconds he looked over at his friend, just to make sure he was still alive. It was hard going, going fast enough to get to the hospital, but slow enough that nothing would cause Duo any more pain. He couldn't believe that this was happening! Duo could really die… Driving in the rain was treacherous, but no one else was out, so he got to the hospital within ten minutes. The rest of the trip was a blur to him. The only coherent thing that he could remember after getting to the hospital was someone wearing white taking Duo from him. He fought and swore, trying to get his precious bundle back, then there was a sharp prick, and the next thing he knew he was sitting in a chair in the waiting room with a blonde nurse watching him carefully.

“Duo!” he sat up in alarm. The nurse put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“It's ok, Mr. Yuy, your friend's in the O.R.”

Heero glared at her.

“I want to see him!” Heero cried. She shook her head.

“I'm sorry, but he's being operated on,” she smiled softly at him, “if you hadn't brought him here so quickly, he wouldn't have made it. You did well.”

Heero slumped in the seat and pinched his nose.

“Will he be ok?”

She looked at him sadly.

“I'm sorry, but the only person I can talk to about that is his father.”

Heero frowned. Duo's father… where the fuck was Duo's father anyway? He had to be freaking out, unless… Heero sat up quickly. Unless he knew about everything… if that was true, he was dead, but right now he had to focus on Duo and finding out if he was ok and what they were doing to him and he knew just how to get it.

“Do you have a phone I can use?”

 

*****

 

“Heero!” Name called as she ran into the waiting room.

“Mom…” Heero hugged her tightly, “they won't tell me anything!”

Name let go of him and shook her head.

“You've done all that you can and you found him, now it's time for me to do my part,” she glared at the nurse that had stayed with Heero while he waited for his mother. She glanced at the nurse's nametag, which read `Barton', with some skepticism, but didn't say anything about her name.

“I need to know everything you have on Duo Maxwell.”

Nurse Barton paled at the other woman's fierce look.

“I-I can't do that, Mrs. Yuy, not without Mr. Maxwell's permission.”

“Yes, I understand that, but Mr. Maxwell is nowhere to be found.”

“But we need his permission to do surgery!” Barton protested. Name glared at her.

“What surgery?”

“I can lose my job!”

“We're all that boy has right now and I can promise you, if you don't cooperate with me, I will get you terminated and that will be just the start of your problems!” Name snarled. Barton took a step away from her and sighed.

“He's in surgery right now for a ruptured spleen. His doctor told me to locate his father because he has several infected wounds and we need to do surgery to drain the abscesses. We can give him surgery for his spleen because he could die, but right now the infections don't pose an immediate threat-,”

“That's bullshit!” Name snapped, “He can't recover from the surgery if his system is infected!”

“That's why we need his father!” Barton yelled back. Name got in her face.

“I am acting on his father's behalf,” she said. The nurse's blue eyes widened.

“You can't do that! I'll get fired-,”

“I'll see to it you don't take any heat for this, but right now that boy needs someone responsible to take care of him and I'm all he has, do you understand?”

The blonde nodded.

“I'll tell the doctor.”

“While you're at it, get me his medical records. I want to know what's wrong with him. When you return, you will tell me what the doctor thinks, understood?” Name demanded. The nurse nodded fearfully and ran off. Name sighed wearily and sat down next to Heero.

“Thank you, mom,” he murmured. She smiled at him.

“You never have to thank me for this. I meant what I said, we're all that Duo has. I don't know where Duo's father is, but the man has a lot to answer for and right now, Duo doesn't need him.”

Heero put his hands over his eyes.

“I yelled at him again, I made him cry. He was… selling himself to some stranger! I just… exploded. I made him cry…”

Name stroked his hair.

“Heero, no one's perfect. You were angry and while I don't like what you did, you got over it.”

“He forgave me,” Heero murmured, “I don't understand him. I yelled at him, hit him, and he forgave me…”

Name smiled.

“He loves you and you love him. That's a part of friendship, forgiving someone you love for acting like an idiot.”

Heero snorted.

“I just didn't want to see the truth, and now he could die… I don't deserve to be here, Duo deserves a better friend than me!”

Name sighed.

“Heero, you hurt him and, through your own stubbornness, you hurt yourself, but you're his only friend and he needs you here, not at home sulking over the past.”

Heero bit his lip.

“As sorry as I am, I can't leave him.”

The two Yuys waited for the nurse to return and after a few minutes, the anxiety finally caught up with Heero and he collapsed into a fitful sleep. Name watched over him with a sad smile. This was the second time Heero had been in this position, she just hoped that history wouldn't repeat itself.

 

*****

 

He was a kid again, being led through the white corridor by someone much larger than himself. He didn't want to go there! He knew what lied in there; death and decay and pain! But, the hand didn't let go of his smaller one as it dragged him forward. The door opened Heero was shoved forward. He stumbled up to the hospital bed. He looked up at the blood caked face with fear. This wasn't right… it was all a lie… dying violet eyes looked down at him.

“Heero, I forgave you… so why did you kill me?” Duo asked in a terrible, wet voice.

 

“It's time to say goodbye, Heero,” he heard someone say.

 

*****

 

Heero shot awake, almost falling out of the chair, but his mother's grip on his arm saved him.

“Heero, it's alright!” she cried, helping him back into the chair.

“I killed him,” Heero panted, “oh, God, he's dead, isn't he?!”

“No!” Name said, “Heero, it's only been twenty minutes, the nurse will be back soon. I'm sure Duo's fine!” she said, but she almost bit off the lie. Heero wiped at his eyes.

“He can't die, mom, he just can't.” But, Heero knew the truth, Duo could die. He had thought as a child that his parents could never die, but his father had and now, Duo could as well. For the first time, Heero realized just how hard his father's death had been for his mother. She was so good at hiding her feelings, he had never really thought about it before, but he thought about how much it hurt thinking about Duo dying and he knew that as much as he had been hurting losing his father, his mother's pain must have been so much worse. He grabbed at her hand and squeezed.

 

*****

 

True to his mother's word, Nurse Barton with news about Duo.

“He's still in surgery, so I can't ask the surgeon how he's doing, but his doctor has given me his initial findings,” Barton frowned, “it's the strangest thing, but I can't find any medical records on him…”

Name waved a hand at her.

“I'm sure that he doesn't but if you would please tell us what his doctor said?”

Barton looked at her nervously.

“It's just a preliminary prognosis…”

“I don't care!” Heero snarled, getting to his feet, “Just tell me what's wrong with him!”

Barton sighed.

“A very minor concussion, three cracked ribs, a ruptured spleen, malnutrition, internal bleeding, several epidermis issues such as excessive scar tissue, bruises, contusions, cuts, and burns, hypothermia, bronchitis, anemia, there are some burst blood vessels in his stomach and lungs that have caused him to cough and vomit up blood and he seems to be going through some sort of withdrawal, but we don't know what kind of drug it is yet. The worst,” she hesitated, “well, he shows signs of very severe anal and rectal trauma and there is a great deal of scar tissue in that area that needs to be taken care of or he'll have complications.”

Heero clenched his hands.

“The thing is,” the nurse bit her lip, “the doctor says that it takes a long time for that much scar tissue to build up. Do you know how old he is?” she asked in concern.

“He's fifteen!” Name snapped angrily, “Are you suggesting that he was raped as a child?”

“I'm not qualified to say that,” Barton said sadly, “you'll have to ask his doctor.”

“How long will he be in surgery?” Heero asked. The nurse smiled at him.

“He should be out in four hours, unless there's any complications, but he probably won't regain consciousness tonight.”

Heero gave his mother a nervous look and squeezed her hand.

 

*****

 

“Heero!” Heero's head shot up as he heard Quatre call his name. It had been two hours already and they hadn't heard anything more about Duo. Heero felt like ripping his guts out with the silence in the halls. Neither he nor his mother had gotten anymore sleep, no matter how tired they were, they couldn't sleep. Heero couldn't remember a time when he had felt worse than he did now.

Quatre, Trowa, and, to his surprise, Wufei, ran through the waiting room to them.

“What are you doing here?” Name asked, surprised. Quatre shrugged.

“We've been checking hospital records, remember? When we got home and you guys weren't here, we checked the hospitals and we rushed over. We met this guy,” he jerked his thumb at Wufei, “on the way.”

“What are you doing here, Chang?” Heero asked, too weary to start a fight. He honestly didn't care if Wufei had come to see if Duo was alright, right now, Duo was the only thing that mattered to him.

“My mother works here,” he explained, “she knows how I feel about Duo and she told me that he was in surgery. May I sit?” Wufei gestured to the seats. Heero nodded.

“Go ahead, you're not bothering anyone.”

“How are you holding up?” Quatre asked.

“The doctor says he should be out in two more hours,” Name said.

“It's been a long night,” Heero murmured dejectedly, not feeling like explaining all that had happened with Wufei listening. Quatre hugged him.

“It'll be alright, Heero.”

Heero nodded, but didn't believe him.

 

*****

 

“Maxwell family?” a tall man in a white lab coat called. Heero blinked blearily at him. It had been four and a half hours, had the doctor finally showed up to tell him that his best friend was dead? Heero didn't know what was worse, waiting or knowing the truth.

“That's us,” Name said as she stood. The doctor looked at her in suspicion, but didn't say anything. Heero had seen it a thousand times where his mother was concerned.

“Dr. Stark,” the man introduced himself, shaking Name's hand, “I'm Mr. Maxwell's doctor.”

“No offense, Doctor,” Name interrupted, “but we've been waiting five hours to see Duo, so either give us some good news or leave us alone.”

The green eyes doctor smiled at her.

“Of course, I'm sorry. Duo is out of surgery. We managed to remove his spleen successfully. He's resting now, but he'll need a couple more surgeries to take care of his infections and the injuries to his anus.”

“Can we see him?” Heero demanded excitedly. Duo was alive…

“He's still recovering from surgery, but he's sedated, so I'm willing to let in one person.”

Heero blushed as all eyes except for Wufei's annoyed ones fell on him. He turned to his mother.

“You need this, Heero,” she said. The doctor motioned Heero to follow and the two of them disappeared out of the waiting room.

“Alright, Name, you have to tell us what's going on,” Quatre demanded.

 

*****

 

Heero swallowed nervously as Stark led him to Duo's room. He tried to ignore the similarities between reality and his dream. What if Duo was dead when he got there? What if Stark had lied?

But, when Heero opened the door to Duo's room, he didn't see a bloody corpse. He stared at the pale figure in the bed and felt as though his guts were trying to crawl out of his throat. Stark patted his shoulder.

“I need to talk to your mother about some things. I'll be back in a little while,” the man said and left Heero alone. Heero slowly approached the bed. Duo was lying on his stomach, the back of his gown open and Heero winced as he saw the tubes attached to him there, as well as the ones in his arms. Duo hated sleeping on his stomach, he remembered, he always slept on his side, but Heero noted the heavy bandages on his side, along with more tubes, and realized that it was impossible for him to sleep that way and would be for awhile. His hair was loose and pushed to the side to keep away from his back. Heero's eyes trailed over Duo's pale skin, pausing on each horrible scar. How had he not noticed them? Someone had tortured him. Had it been Zechs, his father, or someone else? He saw what Barton had meant about ancient scar tissue, because some of the scars were very old. Heero tried to imagine Duo as a child, taking those scars, and couldn't bear it. His friend looked so broken laying on the bed like that.He pushed a chair over to Duo's bedside. The doctor had said that he would be moved in the morning, but tonight he had to be monitored in this room. Heero knew that he wasn't going to be leaving him anytime soon. He had left him before and he wasn't ever doing that again. He had let this happen… no, the bastard who did this was at fault! He brushed Duo's bangs away from his face.

“I'm so sorry. I'll protect you, I promise.”

 

*****

 

Heero didn't know when he had drifted off while watching Duo sleep, but when he finally woke up, he was in a different room. Duo was in a different bed and half of the tubes were gone. He sure looked a lot better, not so… frail. He was still on his back, but the tubes in his back were gone and the gown was closed, for which he was glad. He didn't like people looking at that slender back. His mother was sitting in a chair next to him, watching Duo sleep.

“Good morning, Heero,” she smiled.

“How is he?” Heero asked.

“He's doing better. Dr. Stark thinks that he should be waking up soon. They figured out the drug that he had been given and they gave him something for the withdrawal and pain of the operation. They drained most of the abscesses last night, but they still have to operate of the scar tissue and tears,” she told him. He nodded. She stretched painfully and stood.

“I'm going to call Trowa and Quatre, they went back home last night. I'm sure they'll want to be here when Duo wakes up.”

Heero almost rolled his eyes at the subtle way his mother left him alone. He looked around the room in her absence. There wasn't much of a difference between this room and the last. The nurse came in and out, checking Duo's heart beat and blood pressure and smiling in an annoyingly sweet way to Heero.

“Heero?” a soft voice asked. Heero looked at Duo sharply, who was staring at him. Suddenly, Duo's eyes brightened and he rolled over, launching himself at Heero.

“Heero!” he cried, molding himself to Heero's body, making him blush, “Heero, oh, god, I missed you!” he cried. Heero grabbed at him in alarm.

“Duo! Don't move!” he demanded, pushing Duo back into bed. “You're going to hurt yourself.”

Duo winced as he felt a sharp pain in his side, but it quickly vanished. What the hell? He felt oddly… happy and he couldn't feel much pain. Heero caught Duo's confused expression and chuckled.

“It's the drugs.” Heero suddenly frowned.

“I missed you so much. Gods, Duo, I'm so sorry!”

“Don't!” Duo snapped, “I don't care, ok? I spent the last month yearning to be with you! I lied to you!”

“And I hit you!” Heero protested.

“Can we just put this behind us?” Duo begged, “I need you, Heero. I can't deal with any of this right now. I feel so… spacey.”

Heero held his hand.

“I know, but as soon as you feel better, we need to talk, ok?”

Duo nodded.

“Alright.”

Suddenly, Duo burst into tears.

“I missed you so much! I wanted to see you, but I was so ashamed…”

Heero laid his head against Duo's undamaged shoulder.

“Don't, I want answers to why this happened, but right now, I don't care about it. I missed you, too.”

“Why can't I control myself?” Duo murmured, too weak to even wipe away his tears, but Heero did it for him.

“It's the drugs,” Heero repeated. Duo shook his head.

“That's not what I meant. Ever since that day, I can't get control of myself. I can't be strong anymore.”

“Who says that you have to?” Heero asked.

“It's all I have, just, surviving.”

Heero smiled.

“What about living?”

Duo snorted.

“Not in the agenda.”

 

*****

 

The two friends were suddenly broken out of their conversation as the door opened and Name, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei walked inside.

“Quatre, Trowa!” Duo cried cheerfully, making Name smirk. They all knew that once the drugs wore off, there would be hell to pay, but for now, Name felt glad that he wasn't miserable.

“Hi, Duo,” Trowa grinned, “how're you feeling?”

Duo frowned.

“Kind of weird. I can't feel any pain.”

“Well, that would be the point of the drugs,” Quatre said dryly, wanting to hug Duo tightly but knew that he couldn't. He almost cried as he approached the bed with the knowledge of what Name had told them. He settled for just squeezing Duo's hand instead.

“Mrs. Yuy!” Duo cried. Name smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

“It's Name, Duo,” she scolded, sharing a look with Trowa. Why couldn't this Duo stay forever? She didn't want to think about what was going to happen after.

“Duo, I need to talk to you about what happened,” she said. Duo's eyes darkened. Wufei looked a little put out about not getting a greeting from Duo, but was anxious to find out what was going on. Why was his beautiful Duo in the hospital and why was everyone being so secretive?

“I don't want to talk about it,” Duo said, his expression begging Name to stop.

“You have to, Duo. I need to know if the cops should be involved.”

“They have to be!” Heero snapped, “He's been abused!”

“How do you know about that?” Duo asked fearfully.

“It's a hard thing to hide, sweetie,” Name said, “I'm just sorry that it took us so long to find it out.”

“I can't talk about it!” Duo insisted.

“Look at yourself, Duo,” Name whispered, “someone beat you and I want to know who it was! You're just a child and you need to be protected!”

Duo looked away from her.

“Nothing happened. Nothing's wrong, I just had a little accident.”

“Don't you dare say that!” Heero snapped, “You've been protecting your father since I met you and he's the one who did this, isn't he?!”

Duo remained silent. He loved Heero, but he could never give up Wes' name. Name kneeled by his bedside, gripped his chin, and forced him to look at her.

“Honey, why won't you give up his name?” she asked softly. Duo felt tears prickle at his eyes and he let them fall.

“He hasn't just hurt you, has he? He made you sell yourself, didn't he? Why are you so attached to a man that's abused you?”

Duo looked into her kind, motherly black eyes and broke.

“I never knew my parents, either of them. I'd lived on the streets my whole life before I met who I call my `father'.”

They were all shocked to here that, but they stayed silent, afraid that Duo would stop talking if they said anything.

“This man approached me one day, he told me that if I did a job for him, he'd give me something to eat. I knew that I shouldn't go with him, but I did. I was so hungry,” he tried to look away from Name, but she wouldn't let go of him.

“How old were you?” she asked.

“Seven.”

“You were just a baby,” she murmured, “even if you knew that he was bad, it wasn't your fault for wanting food, it was his fault for taking advantage of your position.”

Duo wanted to stop, he didn't want to tell this woman the whole truth, but at the same time, he did. He wanted her to keep that soft, sympathetic look through the whole story.

“He drugged the food. He raped me.”

The room was silent in shock with the exception of a small noise from Quatre.

“He… trained me. Told me that he would give me shelter if I became his whore. So, that's what I am. A whore.”

“A child whore,” Name murmured in disgust, but when she looked into Duo's eyes, Duo realized that she wasn't disgusted him and relaxed. He looked at Heero, but to his shock, there was no hate in his blue eyes, just sadness.

“How are you so smart?” the Japanese boy asked. Duo blinked at him.

“What?”

“You say that you lived on the street all your life, but how do you know how to read?”

“I taught myself how to read,” Duo explained, “he had some brochures and stuff in the apartment we lived in and I figured out how to read using the pictures.”

“That's incredible!” Quatre exclaimed.

“Not really,” Duo replied, “it was all I could do to keep my mind off of what I was doing for him.”

“If he raped you, then why are you protecting him?” Trowa asked. Duo looked at Name again.

“He's all I have,” Duo said and Name shuddered at the dead look in his gorgeous eyes, “He's the only parent I've ever known. How could I have betrayed him? I'm only alive today because of him…”

“Duo, what's his name?” Heero asked, looking into Duo's eyes. Duo bit his lip. Half of him yelled at him to not say Wes' name, while the other wanted to get it over with. What would happen to Wes if he told? Would he go to jail? And what would happen to himself? But, he stayed focused on Heero's eyes.

“Wes. Wes Maxwell.”

Name smiled at him.

“Ok.”

“What are you going to do?” Duo asked desperately.

“We won't go to the police,” she assured him.

“The fuck?!” Heero snarled. “That asshole has to go to jail!” Duo flinched a little at Heero's anger. Name sighed.

“Don't be an ass, Heero. Duo's fifteen. If we involve the cops, he'll be shipped off to an orphanage. So, unless you never want to see him again, I suggest you do what I say.”

Heero shut his mouth. His mother was right, he knew that, but he still wanted this Wes to pay.

“For right now, we won't do anything. Once Duo's better, we'll look for Maxwell, but right now, Duo's health is the most important thing,” she looked at Duo.

“Why didn't you fight?” Wufei murmured. They all looked him as though they had forgotten he was with them.

“Why didn't you fight back?!” he screamed at Duo, who flinched. Heero stood in front of him protectively and glared at Wufei who didn't notice him.

“You should have fought back, even if you had died!”

Heero opened his mouth to yell at Wufei for saying something so terrible, but Duo beat him to it.

“Do you know what it's like being raped?”

Wufei just blinked at him.

“It's like a game show. You watch it on TV and think `I can do that so easily, so why are these guys losing so badly?' But then you're on that show and you can't think because of all the lights and the pressure… You see a victim talking on TV about freezing up, being unable to fight and think that, when the time comes, you'd be able to do what that person couldn't, but you can't. You freeze, you can't fight, you can barely breathe! It's like someone's stealing a huge part of your soul and when it's all done, you're never the same. After the initial shock of what had happened to me wore off, I did try to fight. He beat me. It wasn't hard, a scrawny kid against a grown man. Even when I got my hands on a knife, he was still bigger than me, still stronger. Then I tried to run away, he found me and raped me again, only this time, he beat me at the same time. He told me that if I ever run away again, he would break my body into little pieces. And fuck it, I was afraid. But, when I couldn't see Heero anymore, I gave up and ran away again. He told me that if I put anything above my `job', he would tie me up, drug me, and have men fuck me on a bed for the rest of my life.”

It was Name who made the noise this time and she started to cry.

“He caught me again and he fulfilled his threat. But, he `loved' me, so he let me go and here we are,” Duo snapped, “I fought and I fought, but he fucking won every time!”

As Duo started to break down, Wufei couldn't take anymore and fled the room. He found himself in the waiting room and sat down on a chair heavily. How could this be?

He remembered the first time he and Fai had had sex and how pure his love had been. Duo wasn't Fai. That thought hit him like a ton of bricks. Duo was beautiful and tainted. He wasn't a God, he was just a little boy that needed some comfort. And… he couldn't help him. Shit, he was only sixteen, how could anyone deal with this?! He hung his head. Why couldn't he just go back to China? He just wanted to be with his lover and not have to deal with haunted beauties and all these… angsts.

 

*****

 

Quatre and Trowa said their goodbyes to Duo who was slowly falling back to sleep again, and left, holding each other's hand tightly. As Heero watched Duo struggle to not fall asleep, he couldn't help but think about his own father. He had been so kind… how could anyone hurt a child, let alone rape one? He couldn't understand it! He wanted to rip the man into little shreds and spit on them.

“Name,” Duo rasped, “I'm sorry about getting water on your floor.”

Heero's mother laughed.

“It's alright sweetie, no harm done.”

Duo looked at Heero.

“Hee… I'm scared,” he murmured sleepily. Heero smiled fondly at him.

“I'm here,” he promised, “I'm not going anywhere,” he squeezed his hand.

Name and Heero watched as Duo finally fell asleep, hoping that he wouldn't dream.

 

 

 

End Chapter 5