Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Road to Kindness ❯ The British Princess and the Blind Leading the Blind Part 2 ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 6
 
Part 2
 
 
 
 
 
 
Duo and Heero came home to find, to Duo's annoyance, that Treize had called Name and told her what Williams had said to him. Both Heero and Name were understandably pissed off, especially since Treize had told her that Williams had not threatened Duo, so there was nothing that he could do besides give Williams a warning. Name was even more pissed when she had learned that Duo had had a panic attack because of the man, but Duo's assurance that he didn't really believe what the man had said had gone a long way to soothing Heero and his mother's anger. Duo had made Name promise not to retaliate and that had promptly ended the matter, letting the small, strange family to sit down to a peaceful, home cooked meal.
 
*****
 
The next day wasn't much different from the previous. Duo and Heero went to school early so Duo could pick up his history assignment from Treize and walked to their first class, meeting Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei along the way. Duo was nervous about his history homework. Treize had assured him that he had to hand in his homework to him, not Williams, but it was still a lot of work and Duo had worried that Williams wouldn't give him his make-up wok, but he would have been in serious trouble if he had refused to help Duo catch up. Duo felt like a coward, being scared of a teacher and didn't want to cower from the man. So, even when Williams skipped over Duo in class and called on him when they spoke about things he had missed, calling him an idiot when he didn't know the answer, he pretended that it didn't hurt.
 
*****
 
Heero grit his teeth when he heard Williams call Duo a moron. The class was brutal, everyone knew that Williams was cruelly signaling Duo out, but no one was doing anything about it. Heero had never seen a student being bullied by a teacher before. He had beat up a few teachers in his years, but he had never had such an urge to hurt a teacher before. He watched Duo stay strong through it and decided to stay strong, too.
 
*****
 
Duo patiently waited after his music class for Heero to come out of his metal shop class. The day, with the exception of History, had passed by rather quickly. Having lunch with his four friends had been the perfect balm before dealing with Williams. There had been a delay for some reason, but Trowa and Quatre were moving back in with them Friday and he felt rather excited about that. He just had to survive the huge amount of make up work he had to do for Williams that was weighing down his book bag first.
“Duo?” a soft voice said from behind him. Duo turned and smiled at Nurse Po.
“Hi, Ms. Po,” he greeted. The woman seemed to want to look away from him, but she held his gaze. When she realized that he wasn't going to snap at her, she relaxed.
“I'm not bothering you, am I?”
Duo shook his head.
“I'm just waiting for a friend.”
Sally sighed deeply, gathering her courage.
“I'm really sorry for what I did. I knew you were being hurt and I kept quiet about because I was too much of a coward,” she said bitterly, “because of me, you were hurt and your life was in danger. That's in excusable, especially for a person in my position.”
Duo tried to smile assuredly at her.
“I'm not going to lie and say that it's ok, because it isn't,” he said and Sally looked crestfallen, “Your choice did hurt me and it is your job to help people, but I don't blame you for making that choice. If I believed that it was your fault, even though your life was in danger, I'd have to believe everyone who's ever said it was my fault for being abused, just because I was too afraid to fight back and I don't want to believe in that anymore. Someone threatened your life and you were scared and, as much as I was a bit bitter at you for not doing anything, I understand how scary being in that position is. You protected yourself and you're alive because of it. If anyone calls you weak for doing that, they obviously don't get it. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is protect yourself. Or at least, that's what people keep telling me,” Duo said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. Sally smiled softly at him.
“I'm glad to see that you are alright and I am really sorry.”
Duo nodded.
“I forgive you,” he told her, watching as she walked away, not hearing Heero come up behind him.
“What did she want?” he asked. Duo was very proud of himself that he didn't show how startled he was by jumping. He shrugged.
“She wanted to know how I was feeling. The last time I had seen her, I was really sick,” he explained. It wasn't a total lie and he didn't want Heero to know about what had happened between him and Sally. He was already scared about Heero going after Williams, he didn't need to add another name to Heero's growing black list.
Suddenly, Heero's eyes narrowed and he growled low in his throat like a dog. Duo turned and saw Zechs, just as tall and imposing as he had always been, and clearly unaffected by the chaos he had caused, walking out of one of the classrooms with some other sophomores. Duo watched him carefully, realizing that he hadn't really seen or thought of Zechs since he and his friend had tricked him.
“I'm going to fucking kill him!” Heero snarled, making a lunge for the silver haired bully, but Duo grabbed his arm and held him back. Considering how weak Duo still was, Heero could have easily broken from his grip, but he let Duo hold him back.
“Heero, don't!” Duo pleaded.
“Why?!” the Japanese boy snapped, but didn't make another go for the other boy.
“He hurt you, raped you, he's the reason why I found out in the first place, why shouldn't I beat the shit out of him?!”
“But it turned out for the best,” Duo pointed out, “If you hadn't found out, all that other stuff wouldn't have happened. Yes, it hurts and I'll always hate him for what he did, but in the end, I ended up safe and with you, didn't I? He may have made my life in school a living hell, but I'm done with him. I can live without getting revenge on Zechs, but I can't live without you!”
Heero looked into Duo's frantic, deep violet eyes and saw the anguish there. He realized that his friend was right. If he beat up Zechs, he would be expelled and Zechs would win. More than that, he would end up hurting Duo. Duo needed him and he wasn't going to do anything to take that away from him, no matter how good beating Zechs Merquise to a pulp would feel. He also didn't want to leave Duo in the school alone with Zechs for any reason. He wouldn't take Duo out of the hands of one rapist and put him in another. He knew that Duo could defend himself, but he often didn't and that scared him.
“Alright, no going after Zechs,” Heero agreed, “but I'm only doing it because it would upset you.”
Duo blushed. Zechs noticed them and he smirked smugly at Heero. Heero flipped him off and felt quite smug himself as Zechs' smirk disappeared to a look of anger. Heero threw his arm across Duo's shoulder in a silent statement that he wasn't going to let anything happen and Duo wasn't Zechs' property, not now, not ever. Intense fury filled Zechs' eyes. Heero's arm tingled at feeling Duo's form. Duo blushed deeply at the contact, feeling the warmth from Heero's body warm his as well. His violet eyes met Zechs' icy ones and he froze.
 
 
Three years ago
 
 
Duo lounged in the shallow end of the school pool. It was spring which meant that the sixth and seventh graders had to take swimming for gym class. They had been at it for three weeks now and when they had started, Duo had been terrified. Though he lived in Maine, he had never swum or even seen a body of water larger than a pond and it scared him. He also didn't want anyone to know that he didn't know how to swim, mostly because all of his other classmates had learned when they were toddlers. However, if there was one thing that he was good at, besides giving blowjobs, it was picking something up very quickly. Just by watching his classmates, he had learned the art of not drowning in a day, but he still preferred staying the shallow end, it made him feel safer.
That first day faced with the huge pool, Duo had been scared about taking his t-shirt off, but the teacher had forced him. To his shock, no one, not even the teacher, said anything about his scars. He wondered if anyone had even noticed them. He was just glad that the teacher had told him not to take his hair down. He found that he really did enjoy the water. It felt like he was floating and it made the pains he usually had go away. Unlike his other classmates that raced and dove in the pool, he was content to just float peacefully. He did so now, closing his eyes and letting the world pass him by.
“What's the matter, fairy, all these half naked men not enticing enough for you?” a cruel, jeering voice sneered, breaking him out of his relaxed state. He tried to swim away, but Zechs grabbed him and whatever horrible insult he had to say was lost and garbled as the tall boy dunked his head under the water. Duo's arms flailed, trying to get purchase of something and scraped against the rough side of the pool, the chlorine stinging the cuts that were now slowly bleeding into the water. Despite being in the shallow end and his feet touching the bottom of the pool, Zechs had a large, firm hand on his head, keeping him submerged and making it impossible for him to get his head above water. He thrashed, trying to get Zechs away from him but the older boy was relentless, keeping Duo under the water for an entire minute until Duo's oxygen starved body tried to breathe and he swallowed water.
Pure luck had Zechs release him at that precise moment and Duo latched onto the edge of the pool, pulling his body up. He coughed and sputtered violently, throwing up water. His bleary eyes found the teacher's, but the man just looked away and didn't say a word as Zechs swam off to join one of the races and Duo clung to the pool, half out of the water limply, breathing harshly, his cuts stinging in the brutal sun.
 
 
 
Three months later
 
 
Duo ran as fast as he could from the silver haired boy chasing him. He turned corner after corner past teachers and other students. He made it halfway to the nurse's office before Zechs grabbed his legs and slammed him to the floor. Duo gasped as the air rushed out of his lungs.
“What's the matter, bitch, don't you think that you would look gorgeous with some earrings?” Zechs teased, a black stapler in his hand. People, adults and kids alike, had started to gather around them with interest.
“Don't touch me!” Duo yelled, but Zechs only grinned.
Duo shrieked in pain as the staple pierced his ear. He cried, curling up into a ball, clutching at his ear as blood dripped down his neck. He heard Zechs laughing through his pain.
 
 
Duo broke Zechs' gaze and lightly touched the small, white scar on his left earlobe.
“You ok?” Heero asked, worried about the faraway look in his eye. Duo nodded and walked towards the library, not looking back at Zechs.
 
*****
 
Heero left Duo to his history work to roam the halls again. Duo had tried to convince him not to stick around like he had yesterday, but Heero refused to leave, giving the excuse that it would be a waste of gas, though they both knew that he was fooling no one. As Heero wandered the halls, he decided that he would need to get a hobby, maybe he could stay in the library and pretend that he was reading a book while he watched Duo, though that seemed a bit too… stalker-like, even for him. He loved watching Duo without all the guarding Duo did when he knew that someone was watching him, but he would probably die of embarrassment if he was ever caught, and if he was caught, he would have to stop doing it, which was unacceptable.
Heero noticed twin footsteps with his own and turned, stopping his stride as he saw Treize approach him.
“Hello, Mr. Yuy,” Treize greeted. Heero sighed.
“Am I in trouble, sir?” He asked wearily. In his lifetime, he had never been approached by an authority figure over something good.
“Don't worry, Yuy,” Treize said with an amused smirk, “for once, you aren't in trouble.”
Heero gave him a petulant look.
“I just wanted to tell you that I think it's really great that you and your mother have decided to take Duo in and take care of him.”
Heero shrugged, not used to the praise and feeling just a little bit uncomfortable.
“It's no big deal. He's my best friend and he was in trouble.”
“That doesn't mean much to a lot of people,” Treize pointed out, “not a lot of people would be able to get over what happened to him and even fewer would want to deal with it on a regular basis. Duo needs a read friend right now and you're giving it to him. It's very admirable.”
“He's my best friend,” Heero repeated, “and, like you said, he needed me. What's so hard about that?”
Treize smiled as Heero turned and continued down the hall.
 
*****
 
Heero walked in what felt like a giant circle, going through each hallway over and over, keeping an eye on his watch. When he reached the teacher's lounge for the third time, he heard Williams' voice and paused.
“I'm just saying that I don't see why he bothered to show his face here again,” the history teacher was saying. Heero's blood turned cold and anger made his heart pound as he realized that he was talking about Duo. He stood in front of the open doorway, not caring if he was seen, though Williams didn't notice him there. Williams was talking to another male teacher, one that Heero didn't recognize, but was nodding at what Williams was saying.
“He should have just kept his mouth shut about the rape and taken it like a man, quietly and bravely,” Williams said with a snort, “I mean, really, it's shameful to all of us to have to hear that crap! No one wants to hear it!”
Heero couldn't take one more hateful word and strode into the teacher's lounge, shoving Williams hard enough to make him stumble. The other teacher watched Heero with wide eyes and back away from him.
“What the-,” Williams snapped, “damn kid, get the hell out of here!”
Heero, not intimidated by the man, shoved him again, harder, and Williams swore as he banged his ankle into a cabinet behind him.
“If someone doesn't like something,” Heero snarled, pining Williams to the cabinet so he couldn't run away, “they should say so, be it corrupt politicians or discrimination or rape! It's their basic human right! Isn't that what you Americans are always preaching, that people in this country have the right to stand up and say `no'?! You're a fucking teacher! How can you not respect, not understand something so simple as another human being's rights?! You're just disgusting as that… man,” Heero spat, “disregarding someone's right to say no!” he let go of Williams and took a step back. The other teacher looked away from Heero in embarrassment and, Heero hoped, shame.
“Respecting others as humans is more important than anything else you could possibly teach,” he murmured and stalked out of the room before he let his anger take control of him and to hide the tears that desperately wanted to spill form his eyes.
 
*****
 
Duo lay wide awake, unable to sleep. He had been sleeping shockingly well lately, so it was annoying that it was one in the morning and he was still wide awake. After, somehow, managing to complete his history make up work, to Williams' annoyance, he was tired, but his mind just wouldn't shut off. He was thinking, oddly, not of Wes or Zechs or even Heero but his cats. Toby, Shiva, Sammy, Angel, Cassy, Patches, and Cotton… he wondered if they were ok. He hadn't seen them in weeks and he was terribly worried. He knew that it was silly, he had a human family now, but for the longest time, his feline one was all that he had. He remembered that night, when he had been raped and the black cat that had kept him from going insane or killing himself. He had a woman and boy that cared about him now, but he still missed their tiny, warm bodies and yearned to feel their soft fur, hear their comforting, familiar mewls. He turned on his side, curling into a ball under the covers. He felt like he had abandoned them. He knew that he had had no choice at the time. He had been sick and hurt and now he couldn't take them with him anymore.
Duo didn't know why Name and Heero didn't have any pets, they could have allergies or didn't like animals or didn't have the patience for a pet, but no matter what the reason, he felt like he couldn't ask to pick up his little furry family. He already had so much and he was too afraid to ask for anything no matter how much he wanted it. He also didn't think that Name would approve of seven little beasts roaming her beautiful home. Still, he could imagine how happy they would be, even Toby, in his comfy bed. Name had picked up one stray cat, so why did all the others have to be cold and hungry when he was warm and full? It wasn't fair and he couldn't help but feel guilty about abandoning them like that. He sighed and rolled out of bed. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a warm sweater, he went downstairs, grabbing his newly bought winter jacket. He had fifty dollars in his jeans pocket, though he knew that he wouldn't need all of it. Name had given it to him in case he ever needed it and she wasn't there. He had tried to refuse the allowance at first, but she had made it clear that she didn't want him walking around with no money and he could either never leave the house alone or take the money. He put on his sneakers and listened carefully, but he only heard silence. He opened the door and closed it behind him as quietly as he could, alone for the first time, ignoring the frantic, terrified beating of his heart.
 
*****
 
When Heero went to wake Duo up the next morning, he paused outside the door at the sound of crying. He quietly opened the door and entered the room. Duo was hidden under the heavy blankets and Heero gently brought them down. His longhaired friend was curled up into a tight little ball, wearing his sneakers and clothes. His eyes were tightly closed and he was sobbing, a terrible gut wrenching sound, dark circles under his eyes.
“Duo, what's wrong” he asked in alarm, sitting at the edge of the bed. Duo blinked up at him, his eyes blood shot and tired and Heero realized that he hadn't slept.
“Heero?” Duo murmured, rubbing uselessly at his eyes, even as more tears streamed down his cheeks.
“What's wrong?” Heero repeated, brushing Duo's messy bangs out of his eyes. Duo sniffed, trying to get himself under control, but it didn't work.
“I-I don't know,” he said looking lost in his tears and messy hair, “I just feel so… bad…”
“Depressed?” Heero tried to translate and his heart clenched as Duo nodded.
“I had a panic attack last night,” Duo whispered as though it was a horrible secret, but didn't elaborate or tell Heero about his venturing outside and back onto the streets by himself, “after that… I just can't stop crying.”
“Do you want a hug?” Heero asked softly, not wanting to touch the boy without his permission.
“Don't ask me that,” Duo murmured. Heero felt another painful clench around his heart.
“Alright,” Heero said, feeling depressed himself at being shot down. Duo shook his head.
“N-no, I mean you don't have to ask, ever. Yes, I'd like a hug,” Duo sat up. The pain in Heero's heart lifted and he wrapped his arms around his friend, rubbing his slim back. Duo hugged him back tightly. They staid like that for several minutes as Duo finally got his rampant emotions under control. Heero felt hot, feeling Duo's wonderful body in his arms. He loved him so much, his heart burned with it, but he could never speak those words to him. It, mostly, was not because he was afraid of being rejected or scaring Duo away with his homosexuality, it was because of all that had happened. Duo had had enough stress in his life; he didn't need his best friend confessing to be in love with him on top of everything else. It was like Treize had said; Duo needed him, just as much, if not more, than Heero needed him. In moments like this, when he could feel Duo's soft heat and feel him shaking pressed against him, he felt that he could tell him, but it was Duo's tears and how tightly he was hugging him back that made him keep silent. He stroked his long silken hair and opened his mouth to suggest that they skip school for the day. Duo was too tired, stretched too thin, and he probably needed a day off, but Duo pulled away before he could say anything, rubbing roughly at his red eyes.
“Thanks, Heero, but we better get going or we'll be late.”
Heero sighed heavily and let Duo get off the bed and go into the bathroom. He went downstairs for breakfast, ignoring how hot his chest felt and how his heart was still beating wildly.
“Hey, Mom,” he greeted Name as she stood at the counter making coffee. She nodded at him, still not quite awake. Heero poured himself some cereal and at the table, but just ended up staring at the bowl, thinking.
His entire life, he had known, more like expected, really, that he would pick up his mother's responsibilities at the company when he turned 25. He had always used this fate as an excuse not to try harder at school or show any initiative to seek out another career. It had been his fall back, his destiny; he had accepted that a long time ago. He had no real business sense and had never paid attention when his mother had tried to explain how the company operated, but he supposed that he would just pick things up as he went. He thought about what had happened to Duo, how he had been raped and abused and how no one had helped him. Even now, if he went to the police, they wouldn't really do what was best for him. Catching the bad guy, even if he went to jail, wasn't justice. There really wasn't a true justice with something like this. What had been done to Duo could never be undone; he would always remember and be haunted by his past, no matter what happened to Wes. The government would just shove Duo into some foster home or orphanage like a bad secret where he would be neglected, not given the affection and care that he needed in order to heal. At his age and with his history, it was highly unlikely that Duo would ever be adopted and if he was, it would probably be by someone who wouldn't understand him or what he went through. If it was his destiny to take hold of the Yuy Corporation, couldn't he make the best of it? There were other kids like Duo out there, beaten and starving, and who had nowhere to turn. If he had to control his family's business, he didn't want to just make business deals and accumulate more wealth, he wanted to help people like they were helping Duo now.
“Heero, stop staring at your food and eat already!” Name scolded, taking a large gulp of her coffee, “and you have a doctor's appointment after school.”
Heero groaned loudly and she glared back at him.
“Don't give me that, Heero, it's just a check-up. Besides, cold season is coming, so if you don't go now, I won't be able to get another appointment for months.”
Heero rolled his eyes.
“Like that's something to worry about,” he muttered grumpily. He hated going to the doctor's.
“Duo will have to get a different ride home since I'll be in Boston,” she said to herself, thinking.
“That's ok, I can just walk home,” Duo said as he walked into the kitchen.
“Absolutely not!” Name said sternly before Heero could even open his mouth to protest.
“But it's not even a mile,” Duo pointed out, “I can make it back here on foot.”
Name shook her head.
“No is no, Duo, It's too cold out there with your anemia to be walking around. I don't care if that's how you did it before or if you've lived on the streets during this climate, it's no reason to risk things now and there is no way I'm letting you walk around town by yourself with that… man still out there!” Name's tone was stern, but her eyes were soft with worry.
“Just call a taxi,” Heero offered.
“I'm not calling a goddamn taxi for a five minute drive, Heero!” Duo snapped, “Besides, Wes probably knows where I am and if he had any intention of trying to get me back, he would have made a move already! He has a lot of powerful people in his pocket and he's not stupid. He knows when he's beaten. Besides, there's no way he'd mess with you guys, so he'd wait until you two were on vacation before making a move. If he didn't understand that, he could snatch me from a taxi just as easily as off the street,” Duo said heatedly.
“You'll take the bus,” Name said firmly. Heero wanted to protest, but Duo nodded and gave Heero an annoyed look.
“You can't keep me in a plastic bubble my whole life.”
“I can try,” Heero grumbled.
“I'll give you money for the bus and a spare key to the house,” Name told Duo, “now, let's stop arguing and enjoy breakfast.”
As the three rushed out of the house for work and school, none of them saw the limousine pulling up the street.
 
*****
 
Duo had ridden the public bus when meeting johns a few times, so it wasn't a big deal getting a ride home. He only panicked a couple of times, namely when an elderly gentleman had sat next to him, close enough that their arms had touched. He knew it was silly to be afraid of an old man, but he hadn't just catered to men middle aged or less and the man had made him feel uncomfortable. Things had gotten bad when the bus had hit a bump and the man fell onto him but he had managed to keep from having a full fledged panic attack.
As Duo made it to the house, he briefly took note of the limousine parked across the street, but didn't think anything of it. In the past, for his own safety, he would have wanted to check it out, but right now it wasn't bothering him, he just walked by it and used his key to open the front door.
Duo had enough time to put away his back pack and read the sweet note from Name in the kitchen that told him to have a fun day and help himself to some of the pudding in the refrigerator before someone knocked on the door. He immediately went on alert. He was quite sure that it wasn't Treize this time, but he wasn't quite as scared as he had been that day, just cautious and opened the door. Whatever he might have expected to be at the door, an exquisitely beautiful blonde girl with blue eyes like fine crystal was not one of them. Everything about the girl was high class, her hundred thousand dollar blue dress and shoes, the diamond ring on her finger, her perfect, Barbie doll figure, her pale and equally perfect complexion and facial features that surpassed those of a super model, her manicured nails, even the way she somehow managed to look down her nose at him, despite the fact that they were almost exactly the same height. If Duo had been straight, he would have fallen for her on the spot, but he wasn't and he only felt dirty and insignificant standing in front of her.
“Do you have any idea whose house this is?” she demanded in an elegant British accent. Duo mused that if Disney princesses were real, this girl would be among them. That was what she reminded him of, a British princess. He realized that her question wasn't really a question, but a threat. He wanted to run off and to call Name, their eyes meeting in a violent clash and he felt very scared of whatever it was burning in the girl's stare, but he stayed strong and nodded. The girl's condescending look strengthened and she appeared disgusted at both his appearance and gall.
“Then you also must know that the most powerful family in the world will do to you when they discover that you're breaking into their house! Who are you anyway?”
Duo froze under her accusing gaze. Just who was he anyway? He had asked himself that very same question ever since he had started to live here. He was Heero's best friend, but was there more to that? He wasn't a son or a brother or even simply a house guest, or at least he hoped that Heero and Name didn't see him that way. He was more like a stray cat that they were trying to domesticate. He had the distinct feeling that it he told this girl even a fraction of the truth, she would disembowel him, then call the cops. So, he lied. It wasn't that hard, he had been doing it for so long, it came naturally to him.
“I'm a friend of Heero's. His mother gave me the key to the house. I'm supposed to come over here after school since they won't be home for another hour,” he said. The girl made a small snorting noise that somehow managed to sound elegant and flicked her long hair over her shoulder.
“So, in other words, you're nobody.”
Duo blinked at the girl as she pushed past him and strode into the house. He was shocked by her intrusion, but quickly shook himself out of it and chased after her. He found her in the kitchen, looking around with a disappointed expression.
“Who are you?” Duo demanded. He debated the pros and cons of calling the cops on the girl, but decided that, if he couldn't even deal with one petit girl, he had hit a pretty low point.
“My name is Relena Peacecraft,” the girl said haughtily, “you've probably heard of me.”
Duo stared at her blankly and had to struggle not to smile as she blushed darkly, but quickly composed herself again.
“I'm Heero's fiancé,” she said with a smirk, holding out her hand so Duo could see the diamond ring on her ring finger more clearly.
 
*****
 
Agony ripped through Duo's heart sharply and his vision went gray for a second, the color bleeding from him. He found himself looking in the girl's eyes and knew that she was telling truth. Heero was going to get married? His vision swam with tears that wanted to be released, but he refused to give the girl the satisfaction. At that moment, he didn't know what hurt more, that Heero had a fiancé, or that Heero hadn't ever told him, but his stomach tightened and churned painfully and he wanted to throw up. As much as it hurt, that Heero was engaged to this beautiful, high class girl wasn't a shock. She was every straight man's dream come true, of course Heero would want to marry her. It struck him hard; his Heero had never been his at all. All this time, he had been this woman's… He wanted to laugh at his own stupidity. Of course Heero had never been his, as much as he had wanted him to be. He had always known that he would only be a good friend in Heero's eyes, so why did this hurt so much? Why was the act of containing his tears so damn hard?
Relena watched the strange boy struggle with her news and her smirk grew. She didn't know what his relationship was with Heero, but there was something about him that she hated. He was very pretty with a punkish look, his jagged bangs, worn eyes, and body that looked perfectly suited for jeans and leather, but his violet eyes and pale skin, not to mention his silky hair, gave him a sort of ethereal beauty, yet there was still something about him that she couldn't put her finger on…
“Well, it doesn't really matter if you know me or not,” Relena said, “I simply don't have time to chat with servants. I'm sure I can find Heero's room on my own.”
Relena tried to get past Duo again, but he slammed his hand on the door frame, blocking her exit. Relena's blue eyes widened as though she couldn't believe he had done that.
“Does Name know you're here?” he asked in a clipped voice. He felt anger mix with his anguish and create a sickening emotion he had never felt before.
“Excuse me?” Relena asked, her face growing hot with anger. No one had ever been so disrespectful to her before!
“I mean, if you really are engaged to Heero, Name must know you're here, or are you the one entering her house without permission?” Duo demanded. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this angry and was scared of it at the same time he relished the new found strength, as dark as it was.
“Don't you dare call Mrs. Yuy that!” Relena hissed. She and Heero had been engaged for two years and his mother had never let her call her by her first name!
Duo narrowed his eyes at her.
“I'm allowed to call her that, in fact, she insists on it.”
Relena's hands curled into fists.
“Does she know that you're here or not?” Duo pressed. Fiancé or not, she was still an invader in the only true home he had ever known, his sanctuary, and he wanted her gone.
“No, but she doesn't need to know. I can come and go without her permission. That's why I'm here, to surprise them.”
“And you need to go into Heero's room to do that?” Duo asked, not believing her story.
“It's none of your business!”
Duo's grip on the door frame tightened.
“Get the fuck out of here,” Duo ordered, his voice low and quiet, but it made Relena take a step back and her eyes widened.
“Excuse me, what did you just say?”
“I said `get the fuck out'. I don't care why you're here, you're the one breaking in, not me. You don't have permission to be here, not from Name and not from me, so get out.”
Relena laughed at the absurdity of the scrawny boy telling her what to do.
“No, I don't think I will. It's not like you can just make me leave!” she pointed out. As much of a brute as this boy was, he wouldn't hurt her, not her.
Duo sighed and, with his other hand, he picked up the phone on the counter next to him and started to dial.
“Who are you calling, the police? Do you honestly think that they can help you?”
“No” Duo said calmly, “I'm calling Name. I'm sure she'd want to know your reasons for being here.”
Relena paled as they both realized that Duo now had the upper hand.
“Fine,” she conceded with some illusion of pride, “I only wanted to speak to Heero anyway, but since he's not here, there's no reason for me to stay,” she said as if leaving had been her idea all along. Duo let go of the door frame, allowing her to pass, but he followed her to the door. Relena gave him one last dirty look before she left. Duo closed the door, locked it, and keyed in the password to turn on the security system, just in case. It felt so stupid to be afraid of a girl, but it made him feel better having the security system and locked door between him and her. He had been lucky, really lucky, he realized. She was obviously wealthy and powerful and it had only been her fear of Name that had kept her from squashing him like a bug.
Duo took two deep breaths and all but ran to his bedroom, locking the door behind him. He slid down the door and sat on the carpet. He wrapped his arms around his knees, becoming a tight, miserable ball. He finally let his tears fall and he was shocked by the amount he had to shed. His heart pounded and clenched inside of him. He had always been waiting for something to happen. Things had been too good and he never got to keep anything so good. Still, the news that Heero was going to get married hurt too much. How far away was the wedding, years, months, weeks, even? Why hadn't Name and Heero told him? Why wasn't Relena living with Heero? If he had Heero's love, he would never want to be apart from him. He didn't have it now, but he still hated being away from him. He had told Heero everything about himself, but he didn't know that much about Heero. He had thought that one day Heero would return the gesture, but Relena's invasion into his life had forced him to ask, what else was Heero not telling him? Feelings of betrayal and loneliness threatened to overwhelm him. Was this what Heero had felt when he had found out that he was a whore? It was a terrible feeling. It felt like his insides were tearing apart and the tears still wouldn't stop. Eventually, the silent tears became sobs and Duo buried his face in his arms. He had always believed that he would never have a chance with Heero, but he had had his dreams. Now, he knew that, not only did he like girls, he was getting married! His dreams were gone and that hurt so badly.
Crying there on the floor, he felt pathetic, like a broken coward. It seemed like all he was doing lately was wallowing in self pity. So what if the dream was gone, what use were dreams to him? But, maybe that was why it hurt so badly, it had been his first real dream, the mere possibility that Heero could fall for him. He wanted to stop feeling. He wanted to break something. Instead, he walked to the bathroom to wash the tears from his face.
 
*****
 
Heero came home while Duo was in the shower and waited for him to come into the kitchen. When Duo finally made an appearance, he said `hi', but after that, couldn't look Heero in the eye and acted skittish. His eyes were red and he acted subdued, Heero could tell that he had been crying and with the way that Duo was avoiding him, it was something bad. Heero watched as Duo grabbed things from the cupboard to start dinner with. It was probably going to be spaghetti. Name was teaching him how to cook, but the whole thing was an alien concept to Duo and the only thing he could make with confidence, or at least without asking Name `is this right' at least five times, was anything with pasta in it. Fortunately, what Duo did understand and could make turned out well, just like anything else he learned. Heero watched him carefully, taking note of how tense he looked, as though he wanted to run.
“What's wrong?” he finally asked and saw Duo flinch.
“There's nothing wrong,” the longhaired boy denied, but Heero wasn't buying it.
“Are you still mad about this morning? I know that I'm acting a little bit over protective, but I finally just got you back and I'll do anything to make sure that you stay and that evil man never gets his hands on you again, even if that means you have to be mad at me,” Heero said. Duo closed his eyes at the sweet words, feeling his tears want to form in his eyes, but he had cried enough today already. This was how Heero was. It didn't make sense to him, Heero keeping his engagement a secret. In the hospital, he had promised that he would never leave him. Would he really go back on that promise now? He still needed him! Of course, that wasn't fair to Heero. He would always need him, but he couldn't hold onto him forever. Still even though Heero had never told him about Relena, Duo didn't think there was any malicious intent behind it. There had to be a good reason behind it. Duo just didn't really want to know what it was. But, for as hurt as he was at Heero not sharing such a huge part of his life, he wasn't angry at him. He was a bit annoyed at Heero's overprotective behavior, and hurt over the engagement, but he wasn't mad, never mad. He was angry at Relena for intruding into his life and destroying his dreams, he was mad at himself for having those dreams in the first place, hell, he was even mad at Wes for creating a situation where he would need such dreams to have a small glimmer of happiness in his life, but he wasn't mad at Heero.
“I'm not mad at you, Heero,” he said with a small smile. Heero relaxed.
“Then what's wrong?” he repeated, “Why are you avoiding me?”
Duo had to look away again. He wanted to pretend that the last twenty-four hours had never happened, but he also wanted Heero to tell him the truth. He sighed. Their friendship had survived because of trust. His lies to Heero had almost destroyed them, he wouldn't let this finish the job.
“Earlier today,” he started, but the sound of the doorbell interrupted him.
“Hold that thought,” Heero said, running to answer the door. Somehow, even before Heero opened the door, even before he spoke, Duo knew who it was.
“What are you doing here, Relena?”
 
 
*****
 
Three years ago, Relena had been the happiest that she had ever been. Her parents had been together and she had been engaged, ready to marry in only a few years. Her fiancé had been her best friend of two years, now five years, Heero Yuy. Her father's business had been failing and he had wanted to combine his business with the Yuy's. Though the Peacecraft family was descendent from British royalty, her father had been too proud to touch the family finances, saying that relying on old money was no longer the way of the world. Unfortunately, the only way to create an equal partnership would be through marriage and her father had wanted her to marry her only friend. Name Yuy had refused the proposal, not wanting to offer her son up as a sacrifice for business, but Heero had wanted to help her and her family and had proposed to her. But, three years ago, something horrible had happened. Heero, for a reason that Relena hadn't understood, had broken the whole thing off, saying that she was too `clingy'. After that, Heero and his mother had moved away and she had spent the last two years chasing him around the world until now, when it looked like she was finally going to catch up with him.
Relena laid her head against the cool glass of the limousine. Shortly after Heero had called off the wedding, Mrs. Yuy had discovered that Relena's father had been stealing money from their company and had severed all business contracts with the Peacecraft family. When her mother had found out, she had pushed for a divorce. There had been no love lost between Relena's parents. Her mother had taken her older brother and moved to America and her father had remarried. Since then, her father's business had continued to struggle and they were now relying on that old money that her father had not wanted to use. She had not understood his reluctance to use it and had hated him for it, but after hearing rumors of her father's inability to be a `man' and have a well paying job to help his wealthy family, she understood that it was a reputation issue. She still hated him for it, though. It was because of him that she wasn't married to the one she loved more than anything in the world, she was pretty sure of that. Sitting next to Relena in the limousine was her little half sister, Annabelle. Relena had only learned of her existence after the divorce, but she had quickly learned that her father had been having an affair when he had remarried with his mistress. But, she didn't care about that right now. Relena was finally going to see her fiancé, she still considered him that since she had never agreed to the break up and knew that as soon as she could see Heero, they would be able to work things out, but she was still being reminded of her past problems. She couldn't stop thinking about that boy she had met earlier. He had been pretty in a way that some boys could be pretty without losing their masculinity, but she was sure that he wasn't a threat. Heero wasn't some nasty fag who would do something dirty with some pretty gutter trash. Relena was sure that that was what the boy was. He spoke proper English like a foreigner would, carefully, as though it wasn't his first language and he was scared of making a mistake. He wore good clothes and behind those scared, shielded eyes was a strong spark of intelligence, but Relena could recognize trash when she saw it. Heero was refined, classy; he would never lower himself to that level, even if that boy had been a girl. Besides, he loved her. She realized now that she had made a mistake when she had visited the house earlier. She had been sure that the boy would be attracted her and intimidated by her name and would let her do as she wished. Obviously, the boy was an idiot and a low class one at that, she should have just offered him some money, then he would have folded easily. Still, she was positive that he wasn't a threat, a mystery, yes, but not a threat, however, it made her want to know what she had missed in Heero's life.
“Ms. Relena,” Pagan, her driver, informed her, “Mr. Yuy has returned home.”
Relena's heart leapt in joy in her chest and she flung the door open.
“Take me with you!” Relena's five year old sister demanded.
“No, Annabelle, stay here!” Relena snapped.
“No!” Annabelle pouted, “You left me in the car last time!”
“Fine,” Relena conceded, not in the mood for bickering, “but keep your mouth shut.”
 
*****
 
For the first time in three years, Heero's deep blue eyes met Relena's light ones.
“Heero…” she murmured, a blush spreading over her pale cheeks. She moved to hug him, but his hard stare stopped her.
“What are you doing here, Relena?” Heero demanded.
He was so beautiful, Relena thought to herself, how could she not do all that she could to try to hold onto him? Heero crossed his arms over his chest as Relena seemed to overlook his anger, simply looking at him with adoration. She had always been that way, even when they were just friends. When he got mad, she would brush it off like it wasn't important and pretend that everything was fine. It was much more different with Duo. He would try to calm him, comfort him, and acknowledge his feelings instead of ignoring them. When Relena had smiled when he was in one of those moods, he would bury his anger because he knew that it wouldn't matter, Relena just wouldn't understand. When Duo smiled at him, he knew that he was concerned about him and his anger just vanished. When they had moved out of Sanq, he had thought that that would be the end of it. He realized now that he had been foolish, Relena had the desire and means to pursue him across the world, so why wouldn't she?
 
*****
 
As Heero left the doorway to meet with Relena on the front lawn, Duo followed him. He couldn't help it. He knew he should give them their privacy, but he couldn't bear to and simply watched the two of them. Relena was even prettier than a few hours ago, which was impossible, but standing in front of Heero, he could see how beautiful and perfect they were together. It made his chest clench. Why would Heero choose him when he could have her? He felt so dirty and useless in their world.
Relena noticed Duo standing behind Heero as though he was using him as a sort of shield and smiled at him.
“Hello there!” she said cheerfully. “Thank you for showing me around the house today, it was really nice of you.”
Duo stared back at her, but didn't say anything he couldn't. In only one sentence, she had made sure to discredit anything he would say about her. He was sure that if he said that she had been rude and forced her way into the house after she had thanked him and called him nice, Heero would side with her.
Heero looked back at Duo who was still silent and withdrawn and narrowed his eyes at Relena. Everything clicked into place in his mind.
“What did you say to him?” he demanded harshly. Relena and Duo's eyes widened.
“W-what are you talking about?” Relena stammered, “Heero, how can you accuse me of such a thing?”
“Don't pull this bullshit, Relena, I know you did something and I want to know what!”
Duo stared at his best friend. He had expected a loving, teary reunion between Heero and Relena, but Heero seemed upset at her and was actually taking his side in all of this! He couldn't understand it.
“Heero, I didn't-,” Relena started.
“I want to go home now!” Annabelle chose that moment to scream. The three teenagers looked down at the child s though they hadn't realized she was there.
“What's with the kid?” Heero asked as Duo disappeared back into the house. Relena sighed.
“She's my little sister. My father made me take her with me.”
Heero wondered about why he had never heard of a sister before, but didn't really care. Relena had forfeited their friendship when she had started to stalk him and destroy his trust for her. Duo quickly reappeared by his side.
“I want to go home!” Annabelle screeched again.
“What did I say about keeping quiet?” Relena snapped. Duo watched the child, no longer concerned with the older sister. The little girl looked just like Relena, crystal blue eyes that made the girl look both beautiful and cute, and golden hair that was bound in pig tails.
“I don't care!” the little blonde yelled at her sister, “This is boring and I'm hungry!”
Duo crouched down to the five year old's level. Annabelle's eyes widened at the sight of him.
“Hey there, my name's Duo, what's yours?” he asked, offering her his hand, which she took , her tiny one dwarfed almost comically by his, but she wasn't afraid of him.
“Anna. My sister calls me Annabelle, but I hate that name. Duo's a neat name, no one can lengthen that. You're eyes are really pretty and I like your braid.”
Duo's smile widened.
“Well, I like your pigtails and your eyes are really pretty, too.”
Anna blushed at the praise coming from the older boy.
“I can't help you with the food, but I think I can take care of the boredom, Anna,” Duo showed her a box of chalk. Anna squealed with delight and let the longhaired boy lead her to the Yuy's driveway.
“Annabelle, don't you dare doodle on Mrs. Yuy's driveway!” Relena yelled.
“Leave them alone,” Heero snapped, “it's not up to you to decide what my mother does and does not want. Besides, my mom doesn't care about some erasable white lines on the pavement. If anything she'll find it highly amusing.”
Heero watched his friend help the small girl draw a horse with wings on the driveway. Somehow, Duo seemed to lose years of tension, the child in him peeking out to play, and smiled in affection. He was so beautiful… There really wasn't anyone else in the world for him. Relena saw the look in Heero's eyes as he watched the violet eyes boy and frowned. Hadn't she thought only a little while ago that the boy couldn't possibly be a threat? But now he could see that she had a rival for Heero's affections and she didn't like that one bit. How had this happened? How could Heero have affection for another boy?!
“Who is he?” she demanded.
“He's my best friend,” Heero said, not losing his smile, “He needed our help and now he lives with us. That's all you deserve to know.”
 
*****
 
Pagan saw his younger charge's little tempter tantrum and her removal of the situation by the strange young man and left the limousine to bring her back. As he approached the blonde and brunette, they didn't seem to notice him until he spoke.
“Sir, I'll take Miss Peacecraft from you if you like,” the old man offered. Duo's head shot up and he blinked at him.
“Aww!” Anna whined, “I want to play with Duo some more!”
Pagan smiled down at her.
“I have some apple juice and cookies,” he offered.
“Ok!” Anna chirped, quick to change her mind like any child, “Bye, Mr. Duo!”
Duo waved at her.
“Can I come back some time?” the girl asked. Duo nodded.
“Yay!” she cheered, grabbing Pagan's hand and dragging him back to the limousine. Duo smiled as he watched her, putting the chalk in his pocket. He returned to Relena and Heero and found, to his horror, that Relena had her arms wrapped around Heero. His heart seemed to stop beating. How many times had he had his arms around that wonderful body? How many times had Heero's arms been around his? Only, that wasn't really true, because Heero wasn't hugging Relena back.
“Please come back to England with me. We can be happy again! We can leave this disgusting place with its disgusting people! Just… come back with me and everything will be right again!” Relena pleaded. Duo stared at them and felt tears stream down his cheeks, unable to keep them bottled up any longer. He didn't see how he could possibly win this. Heero couldn't leave America! What would he do it Heero left and got married in some far away country? Heero's eyes met his over Relena's shoulder and Duo's heart pounded. Heero was his hope, without him, how could he have dreams? Without him, he never would have gotten this far. It didn't have anything to do with his personal strength or his ability to pick himself up. It was because Heero was the first person in his life to care about him and try to help him. Heero had saved him where no one had even tried. Without him he could save himself, but he would be without the best thing that had ever happened to him. Heero's eyes burned into him and he looked alarmed to see Duo cry. Relena and Duo were equally shocked when Heero shoved her away.
“No, Relena, I'm happy here, happier than I've ever been, actually. You're the one who's miserable. You and I will never be happy together anywhere. Things haven't been alright between us for a very long time. I'm perfectly happy in this `disgusting' place with these `disgusting' people. As long as I have friends here,” Heero's eyes found Duo's again, “I will never leave.”
“You… you don't mean that…” Relena whispered. Duo watched all of this in confusion. Why was Heero so upset at the woman that was going to be his wife?
“I'm never going back to England,” Heero said with conviction, “especially not for you.”
Duo felt the tightness around his heart vanish, but found that he still couldn't move.
“What happened when you got back from school?” Heero asked him. Duo rubbed nervously at his arm. He couldn't figure out why Heero was asking him instead of Relena. He didn't exactly have a track record of honesty where Heero was concerned.
“I came by looking for you,” Relena interjected before Duo could say anything, “Your friend and I had a friendly chat and when I discovered that you weren't here, I left.”
“I asked Duo, not you,” Heero snapped at her. It was obvious to him that the bitch was lying. Duo looked so nervous and he was quite sure that Relena hadn't even known his name. Duo blinked at Heero.
“Heero… I…”
Relena watched in hidden fury as Heero's eyes softened in affection as he looked at the longhaired boy. When was the last time he had looked at her that way? Heero walked until he was standing in front of Duo, his tall body blocking Relena from Duo's view. Duo suddenly felt a burst of odd pride. Heero wanted to hear his opinion, not Relena's. He was acting nicer to him than his own fiancé.
“What happened?” Heero asked again, his voice gentle without a trace of annoyance or anger.
“She was here when I got home, waiting in the car,” Duo told him, “she knocked on the door. She thought I had broken into the house. When I told her that I had been given a spare key she shoved past me. I should have tried harder,” Duo said guiltily. Heero shook his head.
“I'm sure she took you by surprise,” Heero assured him, silently urging him forward.
“She told me that she was your fiancé,” Duo continued, his voice cracking a little. Heero curled his hands into fist, wanting to pound Relena into the ground. Duo's earlier attitude towards him made sense now, anyway.
“She wanted to get into your room, I don't know why. I asked if Name knew that she was here and she said that she didn't. So, I told her to get the fuck out.”
Heero smiled with pride at Duo's words. He had never met someone who had the balls to stand up to Relena. It had taken him years to do it.
“She refused to leave since she thought that I wouldn't force her. I told her that if she didn't leave, I was going to call Name on her, so she left.”
Heero smirked. It was just like Duo to put the fear of his mother in someone like Relena. It was pretty funny, actually, and he struggled not to laugh. He felt proud of his best friend. He was usually so meek, but he had stood up for himself.
“That's a lie!” Relena protested.
“If Duo says that's what happened, then that's what happened,” Heero snapped. Relena stared at him in shock. Duo couldn't believe that Heero believed him so blindly. Did his word really mean that much to him?
“You'd believe him over me?” Relena screeched.
“Every time,” Heero said in a clipped tone.
“T-thank you,” Duo stammered, “but how can you say that I haven't exactly been honest to you in the past.”
Heero smiled at him.
“You don't need to thank me for something that I believe in. Even when you were lying to me, I knew you weren't being completely honest. I know that you're telling the truth now, just like how I know that she's lying. Relena's lied to me before and her lies were a lot less understandable than yours,” Heero told him.
“But… she's your fiancé, I'm just your friend!” Duo tried to point out, but Heero shook his head.
“You're my best friend. Relena's not my fiancé, not anymore. She hasn't been for two years now. She lied to you.”
Relief and happiness filled Duo and his legs actually shook as he felt weak with his fears and anxiety gone. Heero grabbed his shoulder partly to keep him steady, but mostly as a show of affection.
“Duo, I would tell you if there was something that big in my life, I promise.”
Duo nodded shakily.
“It's just, things have been so good, I shouldn't have just believed her. I should have trusted you, but it's so hard to remember that you're not like everyone else I've met…”
“It's not true…” Relena gasped out, making Heero and Duo notice her again.
“We are still engaged,” she rubbed at her ring, “I never agreed to call it off!”
“You didn't need to call it off!” Heero yelled, “You still don't get it, do you?!”
Duo was glad that they didn't have many neighbors as Heero started to shout.
“Marriage is a partnership, not some toy that you can have just because you really, really want it! How dare you break into my house and lie to my family! And yes, Duo is my family, he deserves that title more than you ever did! Don't you ever speak to him again!”
Duo watched the blue eyed boy in alarm. His heart burned with the knowledge that Heero considered him family and he felt like he was going to burst with pride and victory at Heero saying that he liked him more than Relena, but the last time he had seen Heero this angry was when he had walked in on him and Zechs. He remembered when he had been on the receiving end of that anger and couldn't help but feel bad for her. However, he was shocked to find that, instead of being devastated at bearing the brunt of Heero's disgust, she was smiling at him.
“Now, Heero, there's no need for temper tantrums. I'm sure that we can talk like adults,” she said as though she were speaking to a child. Duo stared at her incredulously. Heero was, understandably, furious, far from having a `temper tantrum'! Any pity he had felt for the girl vanished and was replaced with the urge to smack her across the face.
“No, Relena, you lost the privilege for civilized talk years ago. Get the fuck off my property and out of my life or I'll show you how much of a temper tantrum I can pull!” Heero snarled, grabbing Duo' hand in a surprisingly gentle grip and retreating back into the house.
 
*****
 
Relena watched the two boys leave her all alone with wide, shocked eyes, Heero's words burning in her ears. Pagan and Annabelle were still in the car, Pagan watching Relena carefully. It was his job to look after her, but he hadn't come to her aid while Heero had exploded at her. She wouldn't have accepted protection from her beloved Heero of all people, but it was still his job and she vowed to get her father to fine him for his blunder. She couldn't believe that Heero had spoken to her like that and the way he had looked at the braided hit had been simply repulsive. She had tried so hard to keep Heero by her side. It was her right as a woman and as his best friend, but somehow things had gone so horribly wrong. Her hands curled into fists. It didn't matter. She would overcome any obstacle between her and Heero because she had to. She could never let him go. Heero was all that she had! Her father barely talked to her, she couldn't even see her real mother and brother anymore, and all of her friends had abandoned her. Heero was all that she had left! Heero still loved her; she knew that as much as she knew that she needed air to live. He had just forgotten how good they had been together, forgotten how much she loved him, but he still loved her and that was all that mattered. As long as that emotion was there, she could fix things. It was that boy… he was interjecting himself in the Yuy's lives like some kind of parasite. The Mrs. Yuy she had known never would have allowed him to live with her unless he had something over her. Even when she and Heero had just been friends, Heero's mother had never trusted her. Duo was obviously plaguing them, she was sure of that, what other reason would the Yuy's have for tolerating a rat like that in their home? But, if she got rid of the rat, she was also sure that that would prove her worth in both Heero and his mother's eyes. She was positive that her father's actions were at fault for the Yuy's animosity towards her, but if she could just prove her love for Heero by getting rid of the pest, everything would go back to the way it was supposed to be. She smiled to herself and walked back to the limousine.
 
*****
 
Heero watched Relena with the security system, a feature that Duo had not known about, but was glad for now. Heero was tense as the girl paced on the front lawn for ten minutes before finally leaving. His tension looked painful, Duo thought. He wanted to tell Heero that it would be alright, but wasn't sure of the right way to comfort him. He had never had to comfort someone before and had so few people comfort him that he felt awkward trying to do it. When Relena finally left and her car drove out of sight of the cameras, Heero was still on edge.
“Heero, I'm sorry,” Duo apologized. Even though Heero had told him that it wasn't his fault that Relena had gotten into the house, he still felt guilty about it. He made a small shocked noise as Heero suddenly whirled and hugged him tightly and desperately. Duo's instincts told him to fight back against the attack, but something much deeper, much stronger, told him that it was ok because it was Heero.
“You're my best friend, right?” Heero asked in a gruff, raw voice teeming with emotion, “you don't want to hurt me?”
Duo's concerns for survival and that Heero was hurting him with how tight he was holding him vanished at how vulnerable his friend sounded and he hugged him back, letting Heero press his head against his.
“Of course I'm your best friend,” Duo assured him, “and I've never wanted to hurt you.”
Why did Heero trust him so completely after all of the lies and pain he had put him through? He had hurt him, but he had never wanted to… but did that make it at all better?
Heero gripped Duo's shirt.
“Why can't she be like you? Why can't she just be my friend again?” Heero murmured against Duo's neck, “You're the best thing I have, as long as I have you, I can survive anything she does to me.”
Duo blushed darkly at his words, Heero suddenly realized how tightly he was holding his friend and quickly let go of him, backing away. He ran an unsure hand through his mussed hair.
“Shit, Duo, I'm sorry. I scared you…” Heero said mournfully. Duo shook his head.
“Only for a second and that was because you startled me. I'm not the only one that can ask for a hug,” he said with a smile, “but, Heero, what is going on?”
Heero paused, then nodded to himself. He tentatively grabbed Duo's hand in a light grip, as though he was afraid to touch him, and led him to the kitchen. Duo realized that he should have started making dinner already and Name was going to be home any minute, but he brushed it off. Hearing what Heero had to say was more important right now. They sat together at the kitchen table and Heero struggled with how to start.
“I met Relena when I was twelve,” Heero explained, “Mom and I had just moved to Sanq in England and my mother knew her family through business. Because of our families' status, Relena didn't have any friends and I only had Quatre and Trowa. I barely got to see them and we were both lonely, so we hit it off right away and became best friends. We did everything together, told each other everything… she was a bit obnoxious at times and I had a bad temper, so I fought with her a lot, but we still cared for each other. Three years ago, I found out that her father was losing a lot of money and he wanted to create a partnership with Mom by having Relena and I marry. I agreed and proposed to her.”
“At fourteen?” Duo asked, shocked. He wondered if his friendship with Heero was just as strong as his and Relena's had been.
“She was my friend and I had never been attracted to anyone, so I had thought it was a good idea. Our engagement only lasted a couple of months, though. I watched as my best friend changed into this obsessed monster. She followed me everywhere, refused to let me see my friends, called me at all hours, and when we were together, she was an emotional wreck. She was always crying and commanding that I tell her I loved her, which I couldn't because I didn't love her in the way she wanted me to. She was always pushing for our wedding date to be shortened. If she had had her way, we would have gotten married the day I had proposed, but my mother had always known that it wouldn't last. I had always been up front with Relena that I wasn't interested romantically, that we were just friends, but every time I refused to get the date reduced, she would try to seduce me. When Mom worked late, I'd come home and find Relena naked in my bed. I had tried kissing, but I wasn't that into it. When I refused to be… intimate with her, she went off the deep end. She started to stalk me, standing outside our house at all hours, following me everywhere I went, and the phone calls got worse. When she thought that I wasn't spending enough time with her, she tried to get me expelled from school. When I told my mom about her behavior, Relena acted like she always had, but my mother, fortunately, didn't believe her act. When she started lying to Quatre, Trowa, and myself so we wouldn't be friends anymore, that was the last straw. She had destroyed our friendship with her lies. I wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, and I had had enough. I broke it off with her, but the stalking didn't stop. Shortly after that, Mom found out that Relena's father had been stealing money from her and we moved away. It wasn't until Trowa and Quatre visited me here that I found out that her parents had gotten a divorce and that her brother is actually living here of all places! And now, after over two years, she's found me again!” Heero ranted, completely frustrated.
“Heero…” Duo murmured, “I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve to go through all of that. I'm sorry, but she sounds like a real bitch. She has no right to put you through this,” Duo said, feeling justified in his earlier hatred of the girl. The thought of what she had done to Heero, who was supposed to be her best friend, made him feel sick. Heero laughed half heartedly.
“She was a bitch, but at the same time that I hated her for hurting me, I still cared for her because of our friendship.”
Duo put a hand on Heero's knee.
“I understand,” he said, “I know it's a sucky comparison, but I feel the same way about Wes. I hate him for what he did to me, but I still miss him,” he blushed, realizing what he had just admitted, “I know how sick that sounds.”
Heero squeezed Duo's hand.
“You shouldn't have to feel that way about him, but I can understand it.”
Duo peeked at him through his long bangs.
“You don't think I'm sick, then?” he asked nervously.
“No. I wish he'd stop hurting you and making you feel so twisted inside, but I don't think you're sick,” Heero assured him, worrying over Duo's words in his mind. Suddenly, something that Heero had said came back to Duo.
“Relena's brother goes to our school?!” he exclaimed, “Do I know him?”
“You might,” Heero said with a smirk, “his name is Zechs Merquise.”
Duo's eyes widened and his hands clenched under Heero's.
“You have to be fucking kidding me!” he nearly screeched. Heero almost laughed at Duo's shocked expression.
“Relena and Zechs had never gotten along when they lived together, but they're very much alike, obsessed bullies the lot of them,” Heero mused.
“No kidding,” Duo grumbled. He could see the connection, alright. Both of them were beautiful, arrogant, and malicious. He would consider himself lucky if he never saw either of them again.
 
*****
 
Name came home in a foul mood. She had spent the firs half of her day worrying about Duo getting home on his own and the other half arguing with lawyers over a group of publishers that wanted to release a book about her family's history. She didn't care if the people `needed to know', it was her family, not theirs. She hated the fad of `baring it all' that was so popular among celebrities nowadays and she refused to be a part of it. They could write that book if they wanted to, but it would have to be without her permission. Her day had ended worse than it had begun with her calling home and Heero's cell, only to have no one pick up each time. It was highly suspicious, both Heero and Duo should have been home by then and she ended up rushing home in worry. So, when she had come home to find both boys unharmed and cooking stir fry in the kitchen.
“Don't either of you know how to answer the phone?” she asked sternly, but kept her voice down despite her agitation. Duo blushed and Heero simply shrugged.
“We stepped out for a little while,” Duo admitted, sharing a look with Heero. They had spoken about telling Name about Relena for the last few minutes and had ultimately decided that there was no serious reason not to tell her.
“Mom, Relena found me again,” Heero confessed. Name became dead still as she soaked in that information.
“I think you need to back track a little bit,” she said as calmly as she could manage. Duo nodded and decided to tell the tale while Heero watched the stove.
 
*****
 
Name listened patiently as Duo told her about his ride home, Relena's visit, and ended the whole messy story with Relena, eventually, storming off into the night. She looked at her son as he stirred the beef stir fry. He looked ok, but he was just as good as she was at hiding his feelings. She was sure that Duo's presence was a large part of Heero's cool. When Relena was involved, he usually, understandably, dissolved into a fit but she was glad to see that this time, he had his head on straight. She couldn't believe the gall of that woman! She had done irreversible harm to her child, broken into her home, lied and tried to hurt Duo, and tried to drag Heero back to England. She couldn't even begin to think of the level of stress that bitch had put Duo through. It wasn't fair to him. The American didn't deserve to deal with the Peacecraft girl's special brand of insanity. He had dealt with enough crazy people in his life; he didn't need to deal with a girl trying to take away his best friend on top of everything else.
“What should we do about her?” Heero finally spoke up. Name sighed.
“There's not much we can do,” she admitted, “someone like her won't stop until she gets her way, finally understands that her antics are getting her nowhere, or she dies. She obviously isn't getting the message and since murder isn't my style, I suggest we just try to stay out of her way as much as we can. Sooner or later she's going to step over the line and she'll either screw up so badly, not even her family name can save her or her father will have no choice but put a leash on her. I'm sorry you have to deal with this mess,” she apologized to Duo. He shook his head.
“Heero's my friend and after all that you two have done for me, I want to help. I'm sorry for not stopping her.”
“Nonsense,” Name insisted, “I'm sure defending the house against spoiled little blonde princesses wasn't high on your list of worries until today.”
Heero snorted.
“As long as you don't believe her bullshit and she doesn't try to hurt you anymore, I don't care what she does,” Heero told his friend. Duo toyed with the material of his pants.
“You told her that I was your family. Did you really mean that?” he asked in a soft voice.
“Yes,” Heero and Name said at the same time and they shared a look.
“You're living with us for a reason, Duo,” Name told him, “it's not just out of the goodness of my heart. I've never seen Heero become attached to another person so quickly before. You're kind, bright, and strong. Despite all of the problems in your life, you've stayed true to Heero. The second you stepped through our front door, you became a part of the family, unless you don't want to be?”
“No,” Duo said softly, his voice filled with emotion, “I'd like to be. Thank you…” he looked Name in the eye, “Relena got really upset when I called you by your first name,” he told her, “but you insisted on me not calling you Mrs. Yuy.”
Name smirked at him.
“Honey, I told you this before, but if you ever get into the habit of calling me `Mrs. Yuy', I'll slap you. Only a handful of people in this world get to call me `Name' and you just happen to be on that list.”
“But you told me to call you that on the day we met! The same day you threatened me not to hurt Heero!” he protested, “Did you tell Relena the same thing when you met her?”
“Of course not!” Name scoffed, “Relena never had and never will have the right to address me by my first name.”
“But why?!” Duo demanded, not seeing any sense in what she was saying. Heero rolled his eyes at his mother.
“I'm a very good judge of character, Duo,” she said to him, “when I met Trowa and Quatre, I knew that they would be good friends to Heero. When I met you, I was a little suspicious of you, but I could see that you were, deep down, a good person and, whether or not you would end up hurting my son, you didn't want to and you honestly wanted to be his friend. When I met Relena, however, I saw that she was a tightly coiled spring about to snap, and I never trusted her. I'll never tell Heero who he can or can't be friends with, so, though I disliked and distrusted her, I also tolerated her. I realize now that I never should have allowed them to be engaged, but that's in the past, I guess,” she said mournfully. “All I know is, Relena Peacecraft is not a good person.”
 
*****
 
There was nothing more frustrating than a second rate hotel, Relena thought to herself. But, then again, she had been shocked that a poor little town like this had a hotel. She kept wanting to call room service, but every time she did, she ended up screaming at someone, so she had temporarily given up on it. Pagan was sleeping in the room next to hers, but his presence just annoyed her. His being here made her feel lonely, knowing that Heero was out there, so close by, and not by her side. The second she had gotten back to her hotel room after talking to Heero, she had called her father and demanded that Pagan had been fired, but he had informed her that Pagan had been with his family since before he had been born and he wasn't going to be fired just because she was having one of her patented temper tantrums. The next day, Pagan had taken her little sister back to England and had returned the day after, to continue to help her get around. A week had passed and she still hadn't spoken to Heero again. Right now, she had a different goal in mind. She had refused Pagan's services lately, not because she disliked him, but because she needed to travel inconspicuously. She had settled for a taxi as she spent her days tailing, not Heero, but Duo.
Relena lied down on the strange hotel bed and stared up at the strange ceiling. She couldn't remember hating another person so much. A week ago, she had hated him for being Heero's new best friend and someone that held her love's interest, but now she hated him for a different reason. It had been easy following Duo and from school, when he disappeared during the night into the town's park, when he went out to dinner and movies with Heero. She had watched Duo watching Heero with soft, affectionate, loving eyes and had felt her blood boil. That look didn't belong to anyone like him and it disgusted her. She should be the one living with Heero, not him! It made her want to rip his pretty, violet eyes out. She had to do something about him… No fag was going to look at her Heero in that way! Fortunately, the situation hadn't yet gotten so bad that she couldn't fix it without violence. She tossed and turned on the bed, but knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep. The situation wouldn't have frustrated her if it weren't for the fact that Heero and Duo never separated outside the house and school. How could she talk to Duo if he was never alone? However, there was one time when the boy was alone. She turned on her side and stared at the clock, impatiently waiting for 11:00 p.m. She had to stop this, nip it in the bud before it got too bad. It seemed a bit spontaneous to her, just leaving the hotel room in search of a boy when she wasn't even totally sure what she would say to him, but she didn't have a choice. She had to do this… for Heero.
 
*****
 
At 11:00 at night, Duo was out the door with a bag filled with cat food and toys. He only did this Monday and Thursday and he was constantly worried that Heero or Name would find out about his nearly midnight excursions. He didn't know what Name would do if she ever found out that he had been sneaking out to feed some stray cats. She had been so upset when he had wanted to walk home from school in broad daylight, she would probably kill him if she ever discovered that he was walking the streets at night. The first night looking for his brood had been especially hard on him. He had had a series of intense panic attacks that night and he had been sure that he would never find them. His first idea was to just go back to the apartment and see if they were still in the alley. He knew that it was the dumbest thing he had ever come up with and he had been terrified to even think about going back there, but he had wanted to see his cats so badly. However, after buying some cat food, he had only made it halfway before collapsing on the sidewalk and becoming violently ill. It had been something of a relief realizing that he physically couldn't go back to the apartment; his broken mind wouldn't let him. He never wanted to go back to that place for any reason and every time he left the house, his heart would race with the fear that Wes would find him. It was an extremely unpleasant sensation. After his panic attack, he had gone back to the convenience store and bought much more cat food, the clerk giving him weird looks. He had gone to the park, laid out the food, hid in a nearby tree, and waited. The smell of the food had attracted dozens of cats, but it was through some miracle that, some time around four in the morning, Toby, Cotton, and Angel had shown up. He had known it was them at a glance, but confirmed it by leaving the tree and whistling. Out of all of the cats, only his three had run up to him, eager to see him. He had slunk back to the house after an hour of playing with them to have a full fledged melt down. He had considered himself lucky that, in the time he had been gone, they hadn't gone feral, especially the large and formidable Toby. The next night, he had gone back to the park and found that he didn't need to use food anymore, all seven of his cats, even very pregnant Patches, were waiting for him. He was still scared to go out to meet them, but it made him happy at the same time.
He snuck out of the house and made his way to the park, just like he always did. It was getting a bit warmer as January was starting to melt away into February, but he still worried about the felines. He made it into the park with no trouble when he spotted a figure leaning against one of the trees.
“Hello, Duo,” Relena said, walking out of the shadows towards the lamplight. “We need to talk,” she said angrily. Duo narrowed his eyes at her and took a step back. She had come alone and unarmed, but after everything Heero had told him about her, she made him feel uncomfortable. He didn't trust her for a clean fight and he refused to strike a petit girl like her.
“I don't think so, Relena,” he said. He had no idea how she had known he would be here tonight, but he didn't like the look in her eyes one bit. He stumbled as the blonde girl suddenly shoved him against a tree, his jacket falling open to reveal his black button-up shirt and he shivered.
“I've seen you looking at him,” she hissed, her nails digging into his shirt. Duo watched her with wide eyes.
`She's crazy,' he realized, `she's been following us and she knows that I like him, but she's still just crazy!'
“That's not the way a boy should look at another man!” she accused, the disgust in her eyes and her hateful words drilling a stake through his heart. Men having sex with other men had been a huge part of his life, but her pointing out his `unnatural' desire for Heero, another boy, made him feel as dirty as he had having sex with strange men. Even is she was right, he wanted to scream at her to shut up. What did she know about how hard it was loving Heero and knowing that it was wrong, that he would never love him back?!
“Pervert,” she hissed sharply, seeing his so-called `love' in his eyes, “You're disgusting!” her fingers dug further into his shirt, tearing it open.
“What the fuck, you crazy bitch?!” Duo demanded.
“How could Heero possibly want to make love to you with this body?!” she sneered, her expression turning quickly to one of disgust as she saw Duo's vivid scars on his flat chest. Duo hastily closed his shirt with a shaking hand. He tried to muster some indignation towards her, but couldn't. As hateful as she was, she was right.
“You're a man, what do you think you can do for him that I can't?” she demanded, her whole manner demeaning and insulting. Duo found that he couldn't look her in the eyes. His heart felt tight with each word that she spoke. Why did she have to say these things to him? He knew that Heero would never like him like that, but why did she have to be so cruel about it?
Relena slammed her hands on either side of Duo's body on the tree, trapping the boy there. She leaned in enough that Duo could feel her breath on his skin.
“We kissed, you know,” she told him, taking immense pleasure in the pain on his face, “he tasted so sweet… He's quite passionate, but I guess you've never seen that side of him, huh? His lips are surprisingly soft and he's very gentle, but very inventive, too, though he is too much of a gentleman to do anything nasty. It felt so good, like my heart would melt and I could tell that he felt the same way. It was our very first kiss, things like that are treasured by normal people, I suppose someone like you has never had the pleasure.”
Duo's heart felt like it was trying to crush itself. Just the image of Relena and Heero kissing made him feel like dying. He was sure that kissing Heero felt like heaven, but he would never know.
`She's crazy,' he thought to himself, `but she's also right. Heero's not gay. He had a fiancé and he was willing to try to love her, even kiss her. Even if Heero is gay, he'd never fall for me.'
His first kiss… he supposed that something like that was considered special by other people his age. Wes had given him his first kiss. There had been nothing romantic about it. It had been brutal with Wes thrusting his wet tongue into his mouth. He had tasted weird and he bruised his lips with the force of it. It had left him with the feeling of violation. It hadn't been soft or sweet or something that he wanted to remember years later. It had been a couple of days after Wes had raped him for the first time. The kiss of a rapist, not a first love… The ideal of one's coveted first kiss still eluded him, but that was probably because by the time he had gotten his first kiss, he had already `gone all the way'. Weren't you supposed to get your first kiss before you gave up your virginity? He thought that that was how it went, but he wasn't entirely sure.
Duo's eyes suddenly found a pair of glowing yellow eyes stalking them in the dark.
“Look out,” he said flatly. Relena let go the tree and whirled, screaming as Toby made a swipe at her ankle, his formidable claws scratching her skin open, the wound looking deep as it bled. Relena screamed and made to deliver a powerful kick to the Javanese's head. Duo growled and shoved her. He watched in shock as she fell to the grassy ground with a cry. He had felt weak and vulnerable his entire life he had never seen any evidence of his strength before, so seeing her crumpled on the ground had shocked him. Toby rubbed himself against Duo's leg and he picked the tom up so the cat could perch on his shoulders, looking like a miniature lynx as he hissed at Relena when she got to her feet. She glared at the feral-looking feline.
“What is that thing?!” she screeched, taking a step back when the large cat flattened his ears back at her. Duo stroked his long tail and Toby rubbed against his cheek, showing his readiness to defend the boy against the hostile stranger.
“Leave me alone, Relena,” Duo said tiredly. Relena watched Toby warily. Her ankle hurt more than the time she had been bitten by a bulldog when she was six. She jumped as she heard a small, angry hiss behind her. There was a small black cat glaring up at her as though she were its mortal enemy.
Shiva hissed again at the strange female that was blocking her way to her daddy. She watched in satisfaction as the human stepped away from her and she ran over to Duo, letting him pick her up and coddling her to his chest. She dug her claws into his shirt and felt comfortable in his warmth. Relena couldn't help but feel intimidated with three sets of eyes glaring at her, even if two of those were just cats. She didn't feel like losing any more blood and she had gotten her point across.
“Freak,” she hissed and fled the park to her warm hotel room.
Duo watched her go with a breath of relief. He stroked Shiva's head and she purred her appreciation at him.
“Good girl,” he murmured.
 
*****
 
When Name heard Duo sneak out of bed and leave the house, she didn't fall back to sleep. She knew that she should yell at Duo for his reckless behavior and how dangerous it was to be walking around at night, but there had to be a good reason for the behavior and it had been going on for weeks now, so Duo probably knew what he was doing, but she was still angry and worried. She stayed wide awake until she heard the door open again, then allowed herself to drift off.
 
*****
 
Heero shot awake at the sharp sound of sobbing coming from Duo's room. At first he thought that he was dreaming, but the crying continued. It wasn't the first time that he had heard crying, but it was late and the crying was too strong, too… out of control for him to ignore.
“Shit,” he muttered and rolled out of bed, running to Duo's room. He thought that it could be another panic attack, but Duo was fast asleep, in the throes of a bad nightmare that had Duo twisting and sobbing like the world was coming to an end. Duo wasn't saying anything, giving no indication about what he was dreaming about, just crying and whimpering in a high pitched, child-like voice. Heero paled when he realized that Duo could be dreaming about Wes. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Duo's arm.
“Duo, wake up,” he urged. Duo's body became rigid and his leg lashed out towards Heero's head. Heero's instincts told him not to grab or restrain Duo in anyway, so he only jumped back. Duo thrashed for a few seconds, then rolled onto his stomach, whimpering and panting. Heero watched him with a heavy heart. How could he comfort his friend if he couldn't even touch him?
“Duo, it's me, ok?” Heero tried to soothe him through his voice, “It's alright, everything's ok… I promise, nothing's going to hurt you.”
Duo's body started to still at the sound of his best friend's voice, giving a feeble twitch every now and then. Heero put a light hand on Duo's back and smiled softly as Duo didn't fight him and his back muscles relaxed under his touch. The rational part of him told him to leave now that the nightmare was over, but the emotional part of him didn't want to. The nightmare could come back once he left, he told himself, but mostly he just felt anchored by the warmth under his hand. A dark blush covered his face as he slipped into bed with Duo. He could feel the warmth from his body as he lay down next to him but he made sure not to touch him. He was so close though… it was strange, his heart was pounding so hard, but they both had their clothes on, it wasn't any different than when they ate breakfast together, so why did lying in the same bed with Duo feel so intense?
Suddenly, Duo rolled over to Heero, curling up into a tight ball, pressed against Heero's chest and stomach. Heero gaped down at him. A second ago Duo was trying to kick him, now he was, well, snuggling against him. Duo did look like a cuddler, but it was still strange. Against his better judgment, Heero wrapped an arm around his friend and laid his head on top of Duo's, trying to ignore that this was the boy that he loved and just attempted to focus on the `best friend' part.
“Everything's going to be fine,” he murmured, falling asleep.
 
*****
 
Duo awoke early that morning in Heero's arms. He had come home last night, incredibly depressed at what Relena had said to him and he had cried himself to sleep. He had been doing that a lot since being released from the hospital. He vaguely remembered having a horrible dream that had involved Relena and Wes somehow, only to wake up in a very surreal situation. He was pressed against Heero's chest, his knees drawn up to his stomach as he snuggled against him, and one of Heero's arms was flung over him in a very intimate, almost protective gesture. Duo's face felt red hot as he realized he could feel his best friend's form through his shirt. How the hell had they ended up that way?! He didn't dare move at the same time his panicked nerves wanted to flee. He never wanted to leave this warmth. If he had ever believed in heaven, then this was it, but it wasn't right. He felt good right now, but as soon as they parted, it would hurt too much. But… leaving Heero's arms was inevitable and he wanted to stay for as long as he could. He looked up at him, saw that Heero was wide awake, and promptly looked away again.
“Um… Heero?” he said in a small voice. Their eyes met and Duo saw that Heero was just as nervous.
“Why are you in bed with me?” Duo asked and noted that Heero looked very cute when he blushed.
“You had a nightmare,” Heero tried to explain, talking slowly so he wouldn't stutter his words. Their bodies were still pressed together and he could hear Duo's heart beating rapidly.
`I'm scaring him again,' Heero thought in a panic, `what the hell was I thinking, of course he would freak out to find me in bed with him!'
“I thought this would help the nightmares,” he said, “Do you want me to leave?”
Heero thought back to last night. He had thought that he should wake and leave before Duo realized he had been sleeping with him. He had woken a few hours after Duo had stopped crying to find him sleeping peacefully. Thinking that he wouldn't have any more bad dreams, he had tried to leave, but Duo had grabbed his shirt and refused to let go until he had slipped back into bed with him. However, what Duo had wanted when he had been sleeping was probably different than what he wanted when he was wide awake. Still, Heero didn't think that he would ever truly regret his actions. He had had the best sleep he had ever had since he had been a little kid and lying there with Duo in his arms was just too comfortable. To Heero's shock and delight, Duo shook his head.
“No… I don't want you to leave if you don't want to. This is actually pretty comfortable,” Duo admitted, his face beet red, “but if it makes you feel awkward…”
“No!” Heero said quickly, “It doesn't feel awkward. I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Duo nodded and Heero felt his slender body relax again. Holding each other this way wasn't something friends would do, Heero realized, but Duo either wasn't aware of that or didn't care and that suited Heero just fine. It was definitely nice just to stay like this on a lazy Saturday morning, but there was something bothering Heero. It had been bothering him for a long time, but he had never had the courage to ask until now. He sighed.
“Why do you keep crying at night?” he asked. Duo stared up at him with wide eyes.
“You heard that?”
Heero nodded.
“At first I didn't want to mention it because I thought you were ashamed and didn't want to talk about it, but if there's something bothering you that badly, you should tell someone.”
Duo bit his lip, worrying his options around in his head.
“A part of it's been the stress, the panic attacks, and the depression, but the other part… it's just too stupid.”
Heero's hand dared to stroke Duo's braid and he relaxed when Duo didn't smack him for it. The last time he had touched his hair had been in the hospital. It felt even silkier now than before.
“I can tell you something in turn if you want,” Heero tried to offer some equal ground. Duo perked up. He remembered how he had felt when he had met Relena, about not knowing all that much about Heero's past, especially such a large chapter of it.
“I can ask anything?” he asked. Heero nodded.
“Ok…” Duo started, choosing his words carefully, “I know that you and your mother care about me a lot, but the things you do for me… You're both so kind and I don't deserve it. The things I did, lying to both of you, the prostitution, I know that doesn't bother you for some reason, but it bothers me. Being forgiven is just as painful as being blamed because I don't feel like I deserve forgiveness. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, I only know how I feel, and being treated as a human being after so long hurts and it makes me feel depressed, because I know I should feel happy. A part of me does feel very happy, but it's very overwhelming, too,” Duo curled his fingers in Heero's shirt.
“But… I guess I don't want anything to change, either. So, don't try to make things better, ok? It's my fault my emotions are like this, but you two are doing everything right, really, you are, it's just… I'm not quite used to this, yet. When Wes had drugged me and things had gotten really, really bad, it was you, fantasizing about you, about having a family and someone who loved me without any strings attached that kept me from going insane,” Duo admitted. He lapsed into silence as Heero continued to stroke his hair, the movement soothing. Heero knew that his friend was having a lot of emotional problems and he felt better knowing what some of those problems were. However, at the same time that he was relived that it didn't have much to do with him causing the problem, it was frustrating knowing that there was nothing he could do to help. The thought of Duo dreaming about him when Wes had been… hurting him made him feel both warm and twisted inside. It was flattering that the longhaired boy would turn to him in his darkest moments, but it also reminded him that Duo never should have gone through that. He should have saved him, he should have done… something… instead he had done nothing, just sitting brooding in his anger while his best friend had been raped, dreaming about him… that was something that would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. Months ago, he had thought that nothing could leave an imprint on him like that, but it had happened a lot easier than he had thought.
“Where's your father?” Duo suddenly asked. Heero froze.
“That's your question?” he asked quietly.
“If it's too personal, you don't have to say anything,” Duo offered, seeing that his question was causing Heero some sort of inner turmoil. Heero shook his head.
“I promised I would answer the question,” he sighed, “and I guess it's nothing like what you just told me, it's just… hard for me to talk about it.”
Duo held Heero's hand that wasn't currently around him and squeezed lightly.
“Comparing what happened to me to what happened to you isn't fair,” he told Heero, “it doesn't matter if you see my problems as bad or traumatic, if something happened to you that hurt you, it's just as bad.”
Heero nodded.
“My father's name was Alexei. He and my mom met in Russia and married pretty quickly. He was in computers, firewall software mostly, but he never had an active interest in my mom's company. He respected her for what she did, but he wasn't power hungry and had never tried to usurp her or anything like that,” Heero said. The two boys shifted their positions a bit so they were eye to eye instead of Duo's head cradled against Heero's chest. Heero rested his cheek on the pillow as he looked Duo in the eye. Duo caught Heero using the past tense when referring to his father, but didn't mention it. He had seen a lot of death in his life and was no stranger to it, but this was different and he couldn't help but feel sad about it.
“He was a good father, a good man, but I suppose that everyone says that of the dead,” Heero said with a bitter snort. His voice was firm as he spoke, but Duo could see the darkness in his friend's eyes.
“He was walking to lunch one day when an ex-employee hit him with his car,” Heero's voice wavered a little and Duo put his own arm around the Japanese teen's shoulders, stroking his neck with his fingers, which seemed to calm Heero down a little.
“The blow was fatal, but he didn't die right away. I was twelve when he died. That day, Mom picked me up from school and took me to the hospital to… say goodbye. When I realized what was happening, I fought against it, but my mother forced me to see him anyway. At the time, I had hated her for that, but now, I'm glad that she had made me see him one last time,” a stray tear went down Heero's cheek, “He looked… normal, like there was nothing wrong with him. There was no blood, he wasn't deformed… He even smiled when he saw me. We talked for hours, at first about what was happening to him, then we just talked about stupid things, school, Quatre and Trowa, baseball… The nurse took me outside so Mom and he could be alone together and later that night, he died in his sleep,” as Heero finished, he had a hard time containing his emotions. He hadn't spoken about his father for five years. Every time his mother had tried to so much as mention him, Heero had brushed it off like it didn't bother him but that was just a lie. It was almost easy, though, to talk to Duo about it, maybe because Duo understood so well about pain and was the only person he was close to that hadn't known his father.
“I miss him so much,” Heero admitted, his sorrow finally starting to spill out as he silently cried and his voice cracked, “it hurts so much, even though it was so long ago.”
“Heero…” Duo murmured, hugging Heero tightly and letting his friend do the same to him. He had seen a lot of people dying, but he, personally, had never lost anyone that he had loved. He couldn't imagine how hard it had been for Heero to lose his father like that. Heero cried against Duo's neck, the feeling of his long, silky hair was comforting, almost a balm.
“After that, neither of us could take being in Japan anymore and we moved to Sanq,” Heero said when he had composed himself enough to form words, but his voice was still tight and ready to crack at any second.
“I guess, in a round about way it was because of Dad that I ended up here, too,” Heero murmured. Duo listened to him intently. That was news to him. He had always thought that Heero had moved to America because of business.
“After my father died, I… I guess I got a little out of control. I stopped caring about anything except for my family and friends. My mom, Quatre, Trowa, and eventually Relena, became the only things that mattered anymore. I became angry at the world and would snap at the smallest thing. I was bitter and violent and with the exception of the small group of people I did care about, everyone was fair game, even my teachers. Mom and I bounced around England because of my behavior until I was expelled from my last high school for beating up a student. He hadn't done much, just called me a pussy for not having a girlfriend, but it was enough. Mom moved us here after that. I guess I still have problems with my anger,” Heero said, thinking back to when he had sent that boy to the hospital for threatening Duo. Duo hugged him tighter.
“Heero, I'm so sorry,” he said. Heero smiled at him.
“It's not all bad, is it? I met you, after all, and I really am trying to work on my anger…”
Duo smiled back.
“No, not so bad.”
 
 
*****
 
 
“Did you hear about Maxwell?”
“Dude, it's been three weeks, everyone knows he's back at school. I just want to know why. I mean, Khushrenada is like the next coming of Hitler, why would he let him come back? And what happened between him and Yuy anyway? One minute Yuy's cursing his existence and the next they're buddy-buddy again, what's up with that? Why do guys like Khushrenada and Yuy give people like Maxwell the time of day? Sure, he's hot, but he's kind of a geek.”
“Eh, Maxwell's probably blowing Khushrenada like he's blowing Yuy.”
“Man, that's sick, he's not doing that!”
“No, don't you listen to people? Maxwell's Yuy's little kept bitch now, they're even living together! Why else would Maxwell be there if he wasn't Yuy's concubine or some shit? Big important families like the Yuy's do it all the time. Why do you think Yuy turns down every chick that approaches him? He's already getting some wicked action from Maxwell and who can blame him? Shit, if he was a girl, I'd be all over him, too!”
“Yeah, I know what you mean, he's got a pretty sweet ass, but he's still a guy. Still, someone like that is just begging for fucking.”
 
*****
 
Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei listened to the conversation as they hung out at Quatre's locker. The blonde's hands were curled into fists as the boy suggested that Duo was being `kept' by Heero. Wufei looked ready to kill someone and Trowa was just standing perfectly still, but Quatre could see the underlying tension in his body like a violin string ready to snap. Ever since Duo had come back to school, these sorts of rumors had been flying around and the fact that Duo was living with Heero had only made those rumors worse. There were all kinds of crazy stories, but this one was the most popular among the boys, but this time was just too much for all of them. Quatre was sick of just standing by and listening to such filth about two of his best friends. He wasn't blind, he knew that Heero loved Duo and Duo, at the very least, adored Heero, if not loved him as well, Duo was so tightly wound emotionally that it was hard to tell, but he did care for Heero more than a friend and if they found out what everyone was saying behind their backs, it wasn't going to be pretty. When the other boy mentioned that Duo needed to be fucked, Trowa did snap. They were several feet down the hall, but Quatre knew that that wouldn't matter as Trowa whirled and made a go for them.
“Trowa, don't!” Quatre cried, he and Wufei grabbing one arm each to try to keep him back.
“No,” Trowa snarled, his green eyes on fire with rage, “I need to put a stop to this!”
Quatre and Wufei struggled with him, Quatre watching him with wide eyes. He had never seen his calm and collected lover so angry before and he didn't blame him, but what Trowa wanted to do wasn't going to help anyone. There was a very big part of him that wanted to just let go and join in, no one had the right to say those things about his friend, but he wasn't violent by nature and mostly he just didn't wan this boyfriend to get in trouble, even if their going to this school wasn't serious. Wufei looked over at him as though he was looking for guidance, either permission to let go or support, wanting to know if this was the right thing to do in the situation, still, Quatre had to admire his honor. Wufei's muscles were tight and Quatre knew that he wanted, just as badly as Trowa, to hurt those boys, but he knew that it was wrong despite his anger.
“Why don't you just shut up?”
Trowa went still at the sound of the familiar voice. Realizing that the tall boy wasn't going to bolt, Quatre and Wufei let go of him and looked over at the offending boys. Duo was standing there, the shortest of the three of them, glaring at them. The hazel-eyed brunette with the red shirt paled and couldn't look Duo in the eye. The taller, grey-eyed boy, however, just smirked at Duo.
“Shit,” Wufei muttered and the three of them ran towards Duo just in case there was going to be trouble.
“What's the matter, Maxwell, I thought that long haired fags like you liked dirty talk?” the boy jeered as his friend escaped before he could get too involved.
“I don't care about what you say about me,” Duo nearly growled, “but don't you dare say shit like that about Heero. He's not like how you say he is and what happens between the two of us is no one's goddamn business but ours. So, just shut the fuck up, ok?”
The boy put his hands up in mock surrender.
“Ok, Princess, I forgot how sensitive your kind is. If your biscuit ain't bein' buttered by the frickin' Ice King, I'm always available,” he gave Duo a lewd look and poked the violet-eyed boy sharply in the shoulder.
“But, for the record, I'll say whatever I want, honey, what are you going to do about it? Spit on me?”
Duo grabbed the boy's finger and twisted it, not enough to fracture it, but enough to hurt him a great deal. The boy screeched in a long, whiny howl, stumbling away from Duo when his finger was released. He snarled, realizing that he had been attacked by a boy shorter and younger than him, but Duo shoved him back with a great amount of force, making him crash into the lockers.
“You go ahead and say what you want,” Duo warned, “but if Heero finds out about the bullshit you're spouting, he's going to do more than just beat you up and if you don't realize that, then you're a moron.”
The boy's eyes widened as he realized that Duo was speaking the truth. Everyone had heard about what Yuy had done to the upper classman last semester and no one was eager to find out what sort of damage he could do when pissed off.
“You heard him, shut the fuck up and get the hell out of here!” Wufei snapped at him. The boy seemed to realize the other three's presence and ran, knowing a losing battle when he saw one.
“Asshole,” Quatre muttered under his breath. Trowa watched Duo like a hawk, but he seemed completely unfazed by the entire event and simply shouldered his book bag as though nothing had happened. He felt like he could study the boy for ten whole years and still never fully understand him.
“Where's Heero?” Wufei asked worriedly. Duo was right, if Heero ever found out what people were saying about him and Duo, someone was going to get hurt really fast.
“He got hit in the head with a basketball during gym class. He's fine, not even a bump or bruise, but after what happened to me before, Ms. Schbeiker isn't taking any chances and sent him to the nurse's office. Heero said that it was just plain embarrassing and sent me off to wait for him. Fortunately, he didn't hear any of that shit,” Duo said, looking relieved.
“How can you do that?” Trowa whispered, “How can you stand up for Heero and not yourself?”
Quatre stared at his boyfriend, disbelieving that he would ask question like that, but he understood where he was coming from. He had never seen Duo be defensive or offensive unless it concerned one of his friends. They had moved back into Heero's house last week and had heard from Heero about what had happened between Duo and Relena. Heero had seemed so proud when he had told them about Duo forcing Relena out of the house and threatening her and Quatre could see why. Duo was always so meek and closed off, no doubt a long term affect from the abuse, and it was hard to imagine the longhaired boy defending himself. However, when it came to other people, he didn't seem to have a problem with being aggressive. Quatre couldn't believe that Relena had the gall to show her face to Heero again after everything she had done and he was furious about the bullshit she had fed Duo, but she hadn't come back around for the entire week so he hoped that she had left, but he didn't count on it. She didn't have the good grace to give up so easily.
“Nasty rumors about me have been flying around since Middle School. I've never opened up to other kids and they don't know anything about me, so they made up stories. The only ones who don't spread stupid rumors are the very few people that know the truth about me and I know that you guys would never go behind my back like that. People call me a slut and a fag because I've never expressed an interest in women and because of my long hair and my inability to take care of myself didn't help the rumor mill, either. I'm just used to ignoring it. There's no real point in defending myself, until I tell the truth, people are going to talk no matter what. I can handle it,” Duo explained.
“And Heero can't?” Quatre questioned. Duo ran a hand through his spiky bangs in frustration.
“No, I don't mean that. Heero's strong, stronger than I could ever hope to be, I just don't want him to know about the rumors.”
Trowa sighed heavily.
“That's completely hypocritical. Why should you protect Heero from this? Why should you have to live with this bullshit just because you're `used to it'? It's slander and abusive. You may not want these people as friends, but at the very least, they should respect you enough not to say such insensitive crap!” Trowa ranted.
“It's just… easier, trying to protect the people I care about. I don't know why, but just the thought of doing the same for myself… it makes me feel cold and sick,” Duo murmured. His eyes widened as Trowa hugged him. Neither boys were used to such displays of affection, so it didn't last long, but Duo knew that Trowa meant it and it made him feel an intense love for his friend. It was the kind of love he held for Solo and Shi, complex and twisted, but powerful. He was sure that Trowa had never experienced what he, Solo, and Shi had, but he was just as emotionally awkward and fragile, something that Quatre and Wufei probably didn't understand. Heero knew how it felt a little with his lack of friends and the trauma he had gone through when his father had died, but he had still had the stable support of his mother and that had probably made a gigantic difference in how he was slowly recovering from that loss. Trowa, for the most part, only had Quatre to really connect with and the blonde was a world away in class and status, unable to understand a lot of Trowa's past and feelings. Trowa understood, better than Quatre did, just how horrible things were for Duo, even now. He was so used to being beaten down that now, when he could fight back, just the thought of it made him sick. It was a mental block, one he would be battling with his whole life and that sense of permanency and loss of something every human being should naturally have, tore at Trowa's heart.
“You won't tell Heero about this, right?” Duo asked all three of them in a small, unsure voice. Quatre looked frustrated at this request. He wanted to tell Heero so, maybe, they could all put a stop to the vicious rumors, but he didn't think he could look Duo in the eye right now and deny his request. Wufei nodded.
“We'll keep it a secret,” he assured him. Quatre sighed, but nodded, too. For now, Heero didn't need to know the truth, even if it meant keeping things from their friend.
 
*****
 
It was another Saturday and Duo felt restless, even as he helped Name set the table. He had finished his homework last night and, though he had plenty to do, he felt useless just staying in the house all day. His nightly journeys to and from the park were, very slowly, rebuilding his self-confidence. He still felt anxious and panicked when he left the house by himself, but he realized that he couldn't become a recluse. In the past, he would have loved to just sit in his own space, safe and warm, but he had always been in motion and now that he felt that he actually had the time to do something, he hated not doing something. He felt like he was squandering a special gift by doing nothing when he finally had so many opportunities. Even if he had a hard time dealing with solitude and strangers, he should still try to test his limits, maybe do something that he had always wanted to do. The only problem with that idea was that just going to school and not having to whore himself anymore were the only things he had truly wanted besides the mangled, deep rooted dream of family and, perhaps even dating Heero, but he had a family of sorts now, even if it wasn't official, and his dreams of Heero would remain just that, no matter how hard he pushed himself. He caught Name staring at him and realized that she had been looking at him for several seconds now.
“What?” he asked, blushing. She smiled at him, her black eyes piercing as she looked at him.
“You look much better, Duo,” she said simply. He raised an eyebrow at her.
“When I saw you in the hospital, you were emaciated, you couldn't even sit up, let alone walk. But, you're doing so well now. You weight is normal and your muscle mass is starting to rebuild itself. You look better now than you did when we first met,” she said, thinking back on that moment fondly, but with a bit of sadness in her eyes and voice.
“It's because of you,” Duo told her, “if it weren't for you, I'd be back to the way I was. Actually, I'd probably be dead.”
Name put a hand on his arm and kissed his forehead, making his blush deepen. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.
“I'm grateful for everything you've done for me but can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Name encouraged him.
“I… I want to do something, I mean, with my spare time. It's nice being with Heero, but I hate feeling so lazy and useless. Would it be ok if I spent the weekends doing… something?”
“Ok,” Name agreed, “I can see how not being active would bother you after never having a moment's rest. I don't want you stressing yourself out, but I can agree to just weekends. What is it that you want to do?”
Duo shrugged.
“I don't really know, actually,” he admitted, “I've never had any free time that wasn't spent incapacitated.”
Name looked at him sadly as she realized what he meant.
“I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Everyone should have a hobby, something that brings them happiness. You're stunted emotionally because of that. But, what are your dreams? What are the things you've always wanted to do, but couldn't? What are you interested in?” she asked. Duo struggled with the right words.
“I haven't had any dreams,” he told her. Name looked at him in shock.
“Duo… everyone has dreams…” she said, startled at the thought that someone his age wasn't thinking of the future, had never had any desires or hopes.
“When I was little and living on the streets, I didn't want to think of things I couldn't have. I wanted food, but that made me feel even hungrier. I wanted shelter, but that only reminded me of how cold I was. When I was with Wes, thinking of a future that would never happen made the reality hurt even worse, believing that I would live and die a whore. When I met you and Heero, I finally dared to dream. I wanted a normal life, a house, a family, I wanted to be whole, mentally and emotionally, I wanted to have some sort of free will. But, even when I dreamed of that, I never believed that I would get it. It was more like a fantasy than a dream,” he confessed. Name's eyes shone with unshed tears and she hugged him tightly.
“Oh, honey,” she murmured, “everyone should have dreams. It gives us hope, it gives us goals.”
“I couldn't bare the pain of having hope,” Duo murmured, “It only reminded me of everything I didn't have and that I would die in some stranger's bed and not with people that loved me, because there was no one who loved me.”
Name's grip tightened at his words and she struggled not to cry, her strong maternal instincts telling her to protect the child in her arms.
“All I know is that I need to do something. But, I don't know what that something is,” Duo said when Name let go of him.
“Sports?” she asked. Duo shook his head.
“I'm terrible at it,” he said, embarrassed, “If gym was based on performance, I'd be failing right now.”
Name chuckled.
“Alright, what about clubs?”
Duo thought about that for a few seconds.
“Well… I was wondering if I could get a job,” he rubbed at the back of his head, “but I guess that's impossible. I don't have social security or even a birth certificate.”
Name's brow furrowed as she scrutinized him.
“Why do you want to get a job?” she asked.
“Well, it's normal, isn't it?” Duo mentioned, “People my age get part time jobs so they can go to movies and go out to dinner. It's just… normal. I've only had one `job', but I never got to keep the money and it wasn't ever normal or honest. I know you're willing to give me any money I need, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Name sighed.
“Alright,” she agreed, “I know you don't like me giving you hand outs and it would be a good experience for you to have a part time job. Are you serious about this?”
Duo nodded and the woman's smile returned.
“Alright, if we're going to do this, we're going to do this right. I'll look up help wanted listings online and you can pick out which ones you'd like to interview for. Don't worry about your social security, I can take care of that,” she assured him. Duo nodded.
“Just… promise me you won't get the job for me?” he urged. It was part of what he needed. He needed to know that he could get by, that he could be normal and independent, not because of the people he knew, but because of his own skills. He didn't want Name giving him opportunities; he wanted to earn them himself. Name ruffled his hair.
“Trust me, it'll be up to you to get a job and it'll be up to you to keep it.”
 
*****
 
`How do people choose a job?' Duo wondered as he looked through the printouts that Name had given him. There were just so many of them and he hadn't done any of them in his life. The two closest ones were for massages and modeling. He had taken one look at those before throwing them in the trash. Name had looked relieved when he had done so and he realized that she had never wanted to give him those, but she had and that meant a lot to him. She really was letting him call all the shots, letting him make his own decisions. It was the first time any adult had given him power instead of taking it away. It made him love her even more that she respected and trusted him and even saw him as an adult instead of a child that needed to be restrained or led around by the hand. He sighed. Still, it was very hard to make a decision about something he knew nothing about. He didn't know how to work a cash register or cook or deal with people `professionally.' How would he answer questions about his past job experiences or why he had a hard time dealing with people? He knew that he had to confront people sooner or later, that was one of the reasons why he wanted to get a job but he was still terrified of something like `customer service'. Name had told him not to push himself, but he just wanted his fears and anxieties to go away.
“What are you doing?” Heero asked as he walked into the kitchen. Duo had been distracted all day, even during school, which was odd for Duo.
“I'm looking for a part time job,” Duo muttered. Heero raised an eyebrow at that.
“Ok, why?”
“Because I need something to do. I need to get out of this house or I'll never get any better with my fears, but mostly I need to experience things that normal people my age are supposed to do.”
Heero sat down at the table with him.
“What has you so frustrated, then?”
Duo sighed again.
“Ironically, it's because I've never done any of these things that I can't find any I could do.”
Heero took a few sheets of the papers and flipped through them.
“What problems are you having?” he asked. Duo rubbed at his eyes.
“I've never worked on a cash register before and all the cashiering jobs ask for experience, so that's half of this pile down the drain. I have problems dealing with people. No matter what I tell myself, no matter how hard I try, when I have to deal with strangers, I freak out and with most customer service jobs, I'll have to deal with people that are pissed off or rude and I… I just won't be able to handle that. I can't do any jobs with construction or gardening because of my anemia and I definitely can't work at a place that requires background checks,” Duo said in frustration. Heero handed him a printout that had caught his eye.
“What about something like this?”
Duo took the paper from him.
“The Cottage?” he asked. Heero nodded.
“It's a little store a few minutes from here. They sell souvenirs, knick knacks, and cheap paper goods. It actually does a good business, but it's not too crazy in there. Quatre likes to go in there because they have good salt water taffy. The job's for stocking, so you won't have to deal with people. All you have to do is help organize the store and help with the inventory. You don't need to have experience with it, either.”
Duo bit his lip.
“It's a thought,” he decided and put it in the very light `possible' pile. Heero smiled at him.
“Why don't you take a break, there's something I need your help with.”
Duo blinked at him.
“What is it?”
Heero looked around the kitchen as though he expected some sort of sinister conspiracy.
“Not here, I'll tell you at the mall.”
“The mall? What's at the mall?”
 
*****
 
Duo had only been to the town mall a handful of times in his entire life. He had heard stories from Solo about so-called `high-end' hookers who got taken out on dates by their johns to the mall but he didn't really understand that concept. To him, being a whore meant having sex, not going on `dates'. He hadn't met a single man who preferred shopping and going out to dinner with a cute boy on his arm over fucking a cute boy. The only times he had been taken to the mall were so that his customers could fuck him in a restroom or dressing room. It wasn't a very appealing place for him to be now, even with Heero by his side. It was terribly crowded and he found himself constantly molding himself against Heero to get away from people that just didn't understand what `personal space' meant. His heart was pounding in his chest at the close proximity of strangers and he felt like he was on the verge of panicking. With all of the sounds and myriad of people assaulting his senses, he was having a hard time focusing. It was unbearably warm, the light too bright, the sounds of crying infants and screaming children made his head pound along with the sharp smell of perfume. He gasped as Heero suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him into a bookstore. He sagged against the wall, the closest flat surface he could find, placing his hands on his knees and lowering his head, he simply focused on his breathing so he wouldn't start to hyperventilate. Heero watched his friend pant in alarm.
“I'm so sorry, Duo,” he quickly apologized, “I'm such an idiot, I wasn't thinking…”
Duo shook his head as he got himself under control.
“It's not your fault,” he assured him, “I just don't like being surrounded like that.”
Heero nodded in understanding.
“Actually, I hate crowds, too,” Heero admitted, “that's why I rarely come here.”
Duo sat up straight and looked around the store. He sighed in relief as he noted that only a few people were shopping here, most of the older women with their noses in books and none of them paying any attention to them. It wasn't a tried and true bookstore, it was large with wide spaces and shelves to the ceiling stocked with all sorts of books, with sections for paper goods, electronics, and even a small café tucked away in the corner where two businessmen were sipping lattes and doing work on their computers in silence. The only smells and sounds to be had were the aromas of soothing vanilla and the slight hazelnut from the coffee and the smooth jazz playing overhead. All around the store, there were big, comfy chairs to sit and read.
“This is nice,” Duo mused. It was much better than the `hip' clothing stores reeking of perfume and pop music or the electronic stores that were far too crowded.
 
*****
 
“Why are we here?” Duo finally asked when his heart had calmed down. Heero had been pretty secretive about their trip to the mall, saying that he would tell him once they got there.
“Quatre's birthday is next week,” Heero informed him, “I need your help picking out a gift.”
Duo raised an eyebrow at him.
“I've only been friends with him for less than three months, you've been friends with him since you were kids. Why do you need help getting him a gift?” he asked.
“Actually, I was hoping we could get him a joint gift,” Heero confessed. Duo mulled that over. Joint gifts were the sorts of things sibling or lovers did and it made his face feel hot. It was a stupid thought, but it still made him feel weird inside.
“I've never given anyone a gift before,” he said softly, “I have no idea what to get him.”
“Sure you do.”
“I don't know anything about him!” Duo protested, starting to feel panicked again. He had never celebrated his own birthday before, he wasn't even entirely sure when it was, he only called himself fifteen based on logic and how many years he remembered being able to do certain thins, plus how he was placed when he had gone to middle school. He had no idea what would be acceptable for Quatre's 18th birthday.
“What's his favorite book?” Heero prompted.
“The DaVinci Code,” Duo answered, amazed at how quickly the answer came to him.
“Favorite movie?”
“National Treasure,” Duo said, rolling his eyes.
“Favorite food?”
“Chicken risotto.”
“Favorite color?”
“Green.”
“Chocolate or vanilla ice cream?”
“Neither, he likes coffee and he likes marble cake with maple frosting the best,” Duo said confidently. Heero smirked at him.
“See? You'll be lots of help. We just need to figure out what kind of gift we're getting him. 18's a big deal.”
Duo nodded. He didn't know much about the significances of certain ages, but that sounded right. Weren't 18 year olds considered adults? Heero looked just as intimidated by the thought of shopping as he felt.
“Well, instead of wandering around aimlessly and just picking up random stuff, why don't we narrow things down?” Duo offered. Heero relaxed. He remembered all the times that he and Relena had gone shopping together and how much he had hated it. His ex-fiancé would touch and hold everything she could reach, spending hours scrutinizing things, then asking his opinion about it, if it would suit her or not, but even if he hated something, if she thought it was `fetching' she would buy it anyway. In his opinion, the whole experience had been a huge waste of time, but Duo wasn't like her. Duo would never be like her. He would listen to his opinion; he wouldn't make him feel useless.
“I think that we should rule out books. Quatre's more into music than reading and getting him one big gift would probably be better than a ton of books,” Duo pointed out.
“Yeah,” Heero agreed, “he reads every now and then, but he loves music more than anything else. The only things he likes almost as much as music are electronics. He's still enthralled by the IPhone we got him last year.”
Duo gnawed on his lip as he thought. Heero smiled softly at him. He looked so cute when he was concentrating on something and now that he did have something to focus on, he wasn't anxious anymore. He could see the good that getting a job would do for him. He wanted to protect Duo so badly, but he also wanted to see him happy and whole and he could only do that by trying to deal with people, not ignore them. Throwing him into a crowded stressful situation wouldn't help, it was just going to make things worse, but if he could only try to deal with a few people at a time, it would be one more step towards him becoming social instead of staying isolated.
“What about one of those IPets?” Duo piqued up.
“What?” Heero asked.
“I saw it on TV last week. They're these cool looking robots shaped like animals. You can download music into them and they light up, sing, and move in time with the music,” Duo said excitedly, which made Heero smirk.
“That's the best idea I've heard so far. Do you want one?” he said, only half teasing. Duo shrugged.
“It sounds cool, but so many people use them to replace real pets. I think that's really depressing.”
“Do you like animals?” Heero asked, filing the conversation away in his mind for further speculation. Duo nodded energetically. Heero watched him fondly, wondering when he had last seen him so energetic.
“I love animals! I've always wanted a pet, but obviously, I could never have one. In middle school, I loved reading about animals I had never seen. I always wanted to go to the zoo.”
Heero smiled.
“Well, I think getting an IPet is a good idea. We just have to figure out what kind.”
Duo beamed, realizing that he had helped Heero and he would be responsible for getting one of his friends a gift. It made his friendship with Quatre seem more double-sided, more real. Still, his talk about animals just reminded him of the closest things to pets he had had and, even with his nightly trips, all he wanted for them and how much he missed them.
 
 
*****
 
 
 
Nine days later
 
*****
 
Relena left the limousine without saying a word to Pagan, knowing that he wouldn't follow her unless she told him to. Things hadn't been going well for her lately, something that she wasn't used to. When she had come to America, she had been sure that she wouldn't be staying for long. She would settle her differences with Heero and they would go back to England together, but that hadn't happened. Heero refused to go back with her. Duo refused to back down. And now, all she wanted was to find out about Duo's past, but she was constantly hitting road blocks. A `Duo Maxwell' was attending school, but he didn't exist anywhere else. There were no dental records, social security, passport, or even a birth record. It was impossible… Unless, and she sincerely believed this, he wasn't who he claimed to be, he was a criminal, trying to bring the Yuy family down like some sort of cancer, from the inside out. This belief had instilled in her a deep urgency to separate her Heero from the longhaired boy, but how could she ever get the upper hand if she knew nothing about her enemy? After checking the records, she had resorted to tracking down Duo's classmates. To her surprise, she hadn't needed to bribe anyone, the teenagers had been happy to talk to her about what they thought about Duo. However, she found that most of it was nasty gossip. She had had to slap one girl for suggesting that her Heero was having sex with the gutter brat. There was one rumor that had caught her interest, that one of her brother's friends had put Duo in the hospital and Heero had attacked said friend in turn. The main difference between this rumor and the others was that it was easy to validate. She hadn't talked to her brother since the divorce and she had no intention of speaking to him now. It was ironic that she had found Heero in the very town that her mother and older brother had moved to. It was easy to find out the only person in the town's hospital that her brother had known. She remembered Alex Mueller and was surprised that the friend in question was him. It had been a little bit harder finding out if Duo had been in the hospital. The closest she could find was one `Dwayne Yue' whose records were sealed. It became obvious to her that Name had kept Duo a secret from the press and public. She didn't care about that, but she wanted to know why he had spent weeks in the hospital and why Mueller was still there, which was why she was walking through the hospital waiting room right now. She spotted a blonde nurse at the front desk and raised an eyebrow at her name tag, which read `Leia Barton.'
“I need to see a patient's chart,” she said quickly. The nurse blinked at her.
“Oh, is someone you know here?” she asked kindly. Relena flicked her long hair over her shoulder.
“No, I need the chart of someone who was already released. I'm willing to pay you quite a lot for it.”
Leia narrowed her eyes at the younger girl.
“I'm sorry, I can't help you.”
“Dwayne Yue,” Relena pressed, “Surely you remember a boy with that name.”
The nurse froze, her eyes widening in fear.
“I think you should leave now,” she said coldly.
“My name is Relena Peacecraft, do you understand?” Relena said haughtily. She smirked when the nurse stiffened.
“I think I have less to fear from little rich girls than that boy's guardian,” Leia informed her.
“So, she's already gotten to you,” Relena mused in frustration. If Name had already threatened the nurse, she realized angrily, she was never going to see Duo's file.
“Fine, in that case, I want you to take me to Alex Mueller's room. You can do that can't you?” she jeered. Leia sighed. She wanted to get this girl out of her hair before she got into trouble with Mrs. Yuy but she knew that Mueller could have visitors, though he hadn't had a single one thus far. If she escorted her to him, she would leave her alone, she thought logically.
“This way.”
 
*****
 
Relena didn't know what had happened to the boy that she had used to see playing with her older brother, but it couldn't have been pretty. His left leg and right arm were in casts, there was a bandage on the side of his head from a concussion and more bandages around his chest from shattered ribs, not to mention several bruises and a black eye.
“Hello, Alex,” she said sweetly when the nurse left.
“Relena,” Alex growled, “what the fuck do you want?”
Relena sat at the edge of his bed.
“I just came by to see how you're feeling,” she lied and was startled when Alex laughed at her.
“Pull the other one, Peacecraft. I know you well, so don't give me bullshit.”
“You want the truth?” she asked sharply, “Fine. I want Heero to come back to England with me, but there's this boy, Duo, that's in my way. There're rumors that Heero put you in the hospital because you put Duo in the hospital. I want to know the truth.”
Alex's expression turned angry and he snorted.
“Good luck with that, bitch! You mean to tell me that after everything that happened, Yuy's back with that faggot?! I can't believe this shit! After everything I suffered through! Yeah, your brother and I tried to separate the two of them, but if we couldn't do it, there's no way in hell you can! I don't know where you get your information from, but it's total bullshit! Yuy didn't put me in the hospital and the most I did to Maxwell was force him to give me a blow job and I'm not ashamed to say that it was fucking incredible!
Relena stared at him with wide blue eyes.
“What the hell are you talking about?!” she nearly screeched. Alex smirked at her, glad for the painkillers as the move made his eye ache.
“It turns out your brother's got a little crush on your longhaired enemy, but when the little bitch refused him, he somehow managed to get Maxell to whore himself so Zechs wouldn't beat the crap out of him. However, when Yuy came along, Maxwell refused to do it anymore. We wanted to break Heero and Duo up, so we blackmailed Maxwell to have sex with us and Heero found out about it. We thought for sure that that would do the trick, but I guess not. A few days later, Duo doesn't come back to school and I get beat up by a bunch of whores! I'm sure even you can put two and two together. Just a word of advice: give up on Yuy. He isn't worth it,” Alex grumbled, looking at his broken arm, “now leave me alone, I'm tired.”
 
*****
 
Relena slammed the hospital door behind her, seething, confused, and her thoughts whirling around in her brain. She felt like she had more questions now than when she had entered the hospital. She wouldn't have put it past a boy like Maxwell to be friends with whores, but the rest was just too much. It was disgusting, really. She had never been aware of her brother's perversions. It was never acceptable for someone to use another person just for `release', but that her own brother had taken up with a fag was just… nasty. Still, Alex and Zechs' idea hadn't been a bad one, but her brother had never been overly intelligent and had probably done something to mess it up. But… why on Earth would Heero forgive him for something so despicable? Surely, he could see what a bad person his so-called best friend was! Even at first glance, she had known that the boy was a slut, but Heero was soft. He forgave his friends too easily, especially if he thought that they could change. She was sure that that was the reason. Maxwell had probably claimed to change his ways and Heero had bought that. Well, she didn't. People didn't change, especially trash like Maxwell. She smiled to herself. If she didn't get rid of him, who knew what sorts of terrible things he would do Heero? But, most importantly, she saw Duo's flaws and she was more than capable of exposing them.
 
 
*****
 
It constantly amazed Duo how protective Name was of him. He didn't know, maybe that was how mothers naturally were. He had never had a mother, so he had nothing to compare her behavior to. It drove him insane sometimes. He had spent his entire life with no one looking out for his best interests, no one willing to try to protect him from the monsters of the world. He loved Solo and Shi deeply, as brothers and comrades. They were the closest thing to a family he had ever had, but they were whores and hard working ones at that, so they had rarely seen each other. It was hard to bond when they were moving from one job to the next. They had managed to stay so connected because they understood each other and knew that one day, one or maybe all of them would be gone. Duo didn't blame them for not trying to protect them in the same way he didn't blame Po for not helping him. Solo and Shi had their own problems to deal with, just trying to survive, like he had. If he blamed them for not helping him he'd also have to blame himself for not helping them. He missed them badly, though. The one thing he could say about the group of whores he had befriended was that, whenever he really, truly needed them, they had been there for him. Sometimes, just having an understanding ear was more important than being saved. He wanted to see them, to let them know that he was safe and loved now. If he ever got a job, he wanted to give his paychecks to them. They would probably hate him for the charity, but it would make him feel better knowing that he was finally able to give something back after all they had done for him, but trying to contact them meant going back there, all by himself and, he was ashamed to admit, he just wasn't strong enough for that step yet. So, while Name's protective behavior annoyed him, simply because he wasn't used to it, he also loved it because it was sweet and made him feel loved that she would go through such lengths to make sure he stayed safe. But, after being under Wes' oppressive rule for such a long time, he also treasured his freedom and he was glad to see that Name as also trying very hard to respect him. It had taken what seemed like forever, but, little by little, he had worn her down to finally agreeing that being cooped up in the house day and night with the exception of school and occasionally going out with Heero, wasn't healthy for him and he, in turn, agreed that going out on his own, deep into town, wasn't a good idea, either. Name was no longer so worried about him being kidnapped by Wes as him having a panic attack where she and Heero couldn't get to him. So, in preparation of him joining the work force, Name had agreed to let him go grocery shopping on his own. It wasn't so daunting of a task. He had gone shopping with Name before, so he knew where to go and what to do. Grocery shopping wasn't something new to him, but picking out which brands were best instead of what was cheapest and using a credit card, something he had heard about, but never even touched, instead of wads of crumpled bills, was new. He thought he had it down, though. The grocery store was only a few blocks away, so Name was letting him walk on foot, which made him feel better than taking the bus, but he felt weird with her gold card in his jacket pocket. He could buy a house with it if he wanted to and that feeling of financial freedom made him feel sick. He didn't know if it was the responsibility or the money itself, but it bothered him. Most adults would never trust a teenager with a credit card, but Name had assured him that if there was anyone that she could trust with it, it was him. That had given his ego a great big boost. Wes had never trusted him. He was like a stray dog, willing to take handouts and an occasional pat, but never trusting anybody or anything. After every job, he had strip searched him. It was embarrassing enough having Wes check him for hidden money, it was something else knowing that a man who was so untrustworthy himself would not trust him, despite having confidence that the training he had instilled in Duo as a child would at least keep him honest with the constant, lingering threat of pain. Duo shook his head as he walked. He had only taken money from him that first job, to get some dinner, and never once after that, that one time had been more than enough for him. If anything, Name should have less trust of him than Wes had because she had never punished him, even when he had done something wrong. He was still embarrassed of one incident that had happened the first week he had lived with the Yuy's. He had still been adjusting to his new medicine back then and his anemia had left him weak with a feeble grip on things. He had been helping Name was the dishes when one of them had slipped from his fingers and smashed on the floor around his feet. Name had ordered him to stay still and had left the kitchen quickly. Keeping still, just like he had been told, he had started to cry, not because he was scared of being punished, but because he had done something bad and upset the only woman that had ever cared about him. Name had quickly returned with a broom and cleaned up the mess. She had given him a hug and informed him that she would only ever punish him for doing something really, really bad like driving one of the cars because he didn't have a license or if she caught him smoking, but she would never, ever strike him. He had never even thought of that, that she would never hit him. It was an alien concept, to be punished without sex or pain. She had then made him sit down so she could check him for any cuts and made him hot chocolate to soothe his anxiety. It was just one of those things that no one had done for him before and it had shocked him that the normally hard woman could be so soft and caring. It was a bitter sweet memory for him, fond because it had been his first taste of home made hot chocolate and a feeling of true relief and security, but embarrassing for having such an emotional outburst when he now knew better.
It was only six at night when Duo had left the house to walk to the grocery store. It was late February, almost March, and the brisk winter weather was lethargically melting away into spring so he no longer needed his heavy winter coat. There were a lot of dead end alleys in this part of town, used by delivery trucks to access the cargo bays and backs of the stores, but the area was fairly well lit even if there was no one else out. He looked back over his shoulder as a group of teens joined him on the side walk. There were five of them, seniors that he recognized from school, but he didn't know any of their names. He generally stayed away from the upper classmen and he couldn't help but be nervous of them, but they were chatting and keeping to themselves. He didn't think any of their presence until he heard their steps speed up. Out of habit, he automatically quickened his own steps. In a shop window, he caught their reflection and swore in his head as he saw they were spreading out like a pack of wolves stalking a young deer and he realized what they were trying to do. He didn't bother trying to hide that he had found them out; he just broke out into a run. There was no one on the street to help him and he had learned as a child not to put his survival in the hands of strangers. The grocery store was too far away, so as he ran, he looked for a store he could hide in. They were obviously looking for privacy to do whatever they were planning and he could easily wait them out or call Name for help. He vowed that if he survived this, he would never leave the house without a weapon and a cell phone, but he had honestly believed that he wouldn't have to deal with this sort of thing anymore. He didn't know what was scarier, that he was very much all alone and pretty much helpless or that he had no idea what the seniors were going to do to him if they caught him. He was a fast runner, but he recognized at least two of them as members of the school track team. The odd thing was that he knew that these boys didn't hang out together during school. He suddenly realized that this wasn't going to be a crime of consequence or convenience, it was a tactical strike. They had been waiting for him and this whole thing had been planned.
Duo wasn't shocked when the two track team members caught up with him. He had gotten much farther than he had thought he would, but he didn't even have the chance to scream when he was grabbed by the back of his jacket and dragged into the blackness of an alley.
 
 
 
*****
 
 
Duo gave out a sharp intake of breath as he was slammed against an alley wall, a hand pressed tightly against his mouth. He struggled against them as they forced him to the ground.
“Quit it,” the tallest one ordered and he was slapped, but the hand remained, silencing him. Duo glared at them. The tall boy smirked down at him. He realized that they didn't have any weapons, but they didn't need to. Two of the boys restrained him, a third keeping him from screaming as the tall one who Duo considering the leader, watched him with piercing brown eyes. The fifth stood behind him with a video camera, taping the whole thing, Duo saw in shock.
“I know what you're thinking,” the leader said in a teasing tone, “ `Just what is going on here?' Well, I'm not a bad person,” he kneeled in front of Duo so they were eye to eye and Duo felt his heart pound as he saw the hungry look there.
`Oh, fuck no…' he thought in fear.
“It's nothing personal, Maxwell,” the tall boy assured him, “we're not doing this just for kicks. It's not everyday you're approached by a cute, little blonde girl with a wad of cash.”
Duo's eyes widened. Relena… what was she thinking?!
“It's going to be the easiest money I've ever made,” the senior smirked, “ `Rape him and tape it,' she told us, something about showing your true colors, frankly, I don't care. The boys here are strapped for cash. Me? This is just plain fun,” he said, running a finger down Duo's cheek, his grin growing as Duo tried to flinch away from him.
“Don't worry, I'll be gentle.”
Duo squeezed his eyes closed. He couldn't believe this was happening again… Why? Why did he have to endure this over and over and over again? Maybe this really was his destiny… Heero and Name couldn't save him this time, he was all alone again. He thrashed as the senior leaned in to kiss his neck, his large hands slipping under his shirt, his fingers trailing lightly over his stomach, his heat searing.
“You're so cute,” the boy murmured and Duo screamed muffled as his other hand slid down the back of his pants, gripping at one soft cheek.
“Damn,” the tall boy licked his lips, “your ass is nicer than my girlfriend's.”
Duo's legs trembled as they were released and the boy molded himself against him.
“You are a sweet little thing, I might not want to share you with these four,” the boy continued as he rubbed one of Duo's petal soft nipples, pinching it and smirking at Duo's distorted cry.
“Hey!” the boy holding the camera protested, “I want some of the action, too!”
The leader ignored him, letting go of Duo's nipple to unzip the longhaired boy's pants, his hand searching for his cock.
 
 
“Hello there,” Duo heard a low voice say softly from behind him. The seven year old jumped out of the dumpster where he had been looking for some old morsel of food before he would be too weak to move, ready to run. It was the strange blonde man that had been hanging around for the past year, but how had he gotten the drop on him? He didn't say anything to the man, not trusting him.
“I've seen you around,” the grey eyed man said, “You don't belong to any of the gangs, do you?”
Duo shook his head, realizing that the man was standing between him and his only exit, but instead of trying to grab him, the man crouched down and smiled kindly at him.
“Are you hungry, little one? You look hungry… I don't have much, but probably more than you have. Tell you what, why don't you come with me, I can make you a sandwich…”
Despite his fear of the man, the thought of food, not just something rotten or a few bites, but something fresh and homemade, made him realize his terrible hunger and empty stomach. He started to shake.
“What's the catch?” he asked, his caution's screaming voice drowned out by the hollowness inside him.
“A job, that's all. It's not dangerous and it's really easy. I'll give you even more food if you do it well,” the man said, reaching his hand out for Duo's, waiting for the answer. Duo mulled it over, but this hunger made it hard to think. He nodded and took the man's very large hand.
 
 
 
He tried to move off the bed, but he couldn't.
 
 
He was trapped.
 
 
“You and I are going to have a little bit of harmless fun.”
 
 
“Me? This is just plain fun.”
 
 
 
Duo's heart slammed in his chest unpleasantly, his vision wavering as a hot hand caressed his cock in his jeans and more hands ripped the pants open, tugging his boxers down, fingers stroked his stomach and chest as his shirt was pulled up and cold air hit him. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he screamed and thrashed as two fingers thrust in between his ass cheeks and inside of his body.
 
 
 
Wes spread his buttocks and pressed a finger to his entrance. Tears built up in his eyes as he felt the rough calluses on his virgin body.
“No…” he choked as the finger slipped inside of him, spreading him.
 
 
 
`Please don't, please, please, I don't want it inside me!' Duo thought, starting to hyperventilate.
`Why? I didn't do anything, I'll be a good boy, I promise!'
 
 
Duo squeezed his eyes shut and screamed as the blonde man shoved into him brutally, his heavy cock ripping through him.
 
 
`It hurts… it hurts…' he sobbed inside of his head as he started to fade away and he stared past the tall boy, back through time.
 
 
 
Blood pooled, thick and hot, down his body and onto the sheets, creating a large puddle as Wes thrust in and out of him, rocking his much smaller, damaged body. Duo's mind was blank except for the incredible pain.
“That's ok,” Wes panted like an animal as he fucked the child underneath him, “scream all you want, kid, no one's going to come for you.”
 
 
The fingers slid out of him, but Duo didn't notice. All he could feel was a huge, phantom cock destroying his body and a torrent of blood that didn't exist. He could smell him… Wes' unique smell.
`Heero…' the small child that Duo was slowly becoming sobbed. His vision was graying… he was choking… There was so much blood and the unbearable pain…
 
 
“That's it, struggle, perfect…”
 
 
He was dying… his strength, his growth… he could feel himself, the person he wanted to be, slipping away as his memories came to him, winding back his clock. Oh, god, it hurts so bad… was he breathing? Where was he? Cum… thick, sickening, hot cum was inside him, but though the blood was dripping out of him in huge rivers, the semen remained inside, like a cancer, just growing and growing.
 
`No no no no no no no!' the child screamed. Not again, he couldn't survive this; he didn't want to survive this! He heard footsteps approaching. Chris… was he here, too?
Hot lips pressed against his and a tongue wormed inside of his mouth. He opened his eyes slowly. He felt blind as red light filled his vision. He bit down as hard as he could on the invading muscle and when the boy reared back in shock and pain, he kicked him square in the face, shattering his nose. The other four were just as shocked. The longhaired boy had seemed… gone mentally, but suddenly, he was back, looking both terrified and angry at the same time. Duo barely registered the reality through his memories. He could only `see' Wes and feel him inside of him, always inside of him. He thrashed against the two boys holding his arms and, in their shocked state, managed to free himself. He felt detached from himself, watching his actions from a distance as he moved both outside and inside himself. Heero… Heero was safe… he had to get the blood off, had to get Wes' seed out of him… the child was screaming, wanting to run away from the memories, the sickness, and the filthiness that was clinging to his skin. He kicked one boy in the stomach, making him double over, and elbowed the other in the throat. The boy with the camera dropped it to join the fight as the small boy knocked down the others.
“What is going on here?!” a vaguely familiar voice bellowed, “Leave that boy alone!”
Duo saw Pagan from over camera-boy's shoulder, his old face angry, but his broken mind didn't recognize him. He saw himself grip at his torn pants with one hand and snatch up the camera with the other, but he had a hard time seeing the camera. The only boy left standing glared at Relena's driver.
“Old man,” he growled, but Pagan stood firm.
“If you don't leave Mr. Maxwell alone, I'm going to call the cops,” Pagan threatened. The teenager paled as he realized the trouble he was in and ran out of the alley. Pagan turned to Duo, who was shaking badly. The boy looked like Hell, his face white and his eyes wild, he looked like he was going to faint at any moment.
“Mr. Maxwell, I'm so sorry,” the driver apologized, unsure of whether or not he should approach the teen, “I heard Relena talking to one of them on her cell phone… I should have come sooner.”
Duo remained silent and as he ran past Pagan, he seemed to not notice him at all.
 
*****
 
Duo whimpered as another person bumped into him as he walked. He felt the person look at him, taking in his disheveled appearance, his tortured expression, his shaking and torn clothing, but never made a move to help him. There were too many people… were they going to rape him, too? Did the whole world hate him? Want to hurt him? His pants were soaked with cum and blood and he couldn't stop shaking. It was so cold. The sounds were muted, yet chaotic around him, like furious bees. He couldn't stop crying as he walked aimlessly. He felt so broken, he couldn't grasp at anything concrete. He needed to go someplace safe, where no one could find him, were Wes couldn't find him. He was chasing him, wasn't he? The camera was clenched in his grip, but he couldn't see, he couldn't feel anything but pain and blood and cold, his vision was bright lit and a black hole was starting to build, deep in his mind. He felt so small… He wanted to run, but his legs were so heavy and useless, like a doll's. Had the drugs worn off yet? How had he gotten away from the apartment? He couldn't remember, he didn't want to remember. Wes would find him, he would hurt him, just like he had promised, but he had nowhere to hide… so why was he moving so quickly? Where was he going? The black hole started to grow, sucking him inside.
 
*****
 
Name looked up at the clock for the fifth time since Duo had left. She couldn't help but feel anxious. She hadn't liked letting Duo out by himself, but he had to take that step on his own. She knew that not enough time had passed for her to worry, but it was becoming a part of her nature. Suddenly, the door slammed open and the alarm screeched. She ran out into the hall to catch the intruder, but instead saw Duo in the hall, his clothes ripped, his eyes red from crying, looking like a blind corpse.
“Duo!” she cried out in alarm, but the boy didn't see or hear her, running past her, up the steps. Heero came out of the laundry room and ran after his friend.
“I'll talk to him, turn off the alarm,” he called back as he ran up the steps. Name ran a hand through her short hair and went to turn off the alarm, anxiety eating through her usual calm.
 
 
*****
 
As some of Duo's senses started to come back to him, he found himself in his bathroom. His current self recognized it and cried in relief, but his child self, the part that he had successfully buried so long ago, the part that was now at the surface, only saw the bathroom as shelter and warmth, a place where he could finally be clean, after all of those long years. With a shaking hand, Duo turned on the hot water and managed to shed himself of shoes, socks, jacket and shirt, the child wondering how he knew how to work the shower when he had never taken one before. The torn jeans refused to come off and he gave out a frustrated wail. Blood poured down his legs and pooled around his bare feet on the once clean tiles. He stumbled into the shower, his jeans becoming soaked, but he didn't care. In frustration, he peeled jeans and boxers off and tilted his head towards the water. He looked down and saw thick, crimson blood and creamy semen swirling down the drain, but he still didn't feel clean. He grabbed the soap, kneeling on his knees as standing hurt his insides, and scrubbed viciously at his blood and cum stained thighs. Everything hurt and a high pitched buzzing was starting to build in the back of his mind. He brought up his hands and saw that they were also stained with blood, the thick stuff dripping down his arms.
“No…” he cried, turning the heat up as high as it could go, but the water refused to wash away the blood and the heat, while it scalded his skin, couldn't reach his chill. Blood continued to stream down his legs from his mutilated entrance in a never ending torrent.
He was never going to be clean, he realized and sat on the floor of the tub, his legs curled up in the steaming water. He laid his head against the wall in resignation, shivering and unable to stop his tears. He was always going to be filthy, this mutated, tainted… thing. He wasn't even human anymore… Why did he have to survive this? His heart… his mind… whatever soul he might have possessed… were already dead. Wasn't it… logical… that his body should also follow? What was the point in just living? Wes was coming after him and he was sick of the cold, sick of the pain, sick of the wanting and the hunger. The blood felt so hot on his hands and thighs. His insides throbbing, he folded his legs close to his body and wrapped his arms around his knees, his body shaking violently, his eyes staring blankly ahead. He didn't feel any different, not clean, not warm. He grabbed the bloody soap and scrubbed at his genitals and torn entrance again, not carrying that he was hurting himself and rubbing his skin raw. The self inflicted pain was so much better than what that… man… had done to him. There couldn't possibly be any semen inside him. He had to have washed it all away, but he could feel it inside of him, hot and thick. He smelled like him, he realized. He had scrubbed and scrubbed, but he could still smell him on his skin, it wasn't going away…
 
*****
 
Heero could hear the shower going in Duo's bathroom. He had allowed him a few minutes of privacy by vacating to his own room, but he was worried. He couldn't get that blind, wild-eyed look out of his head. Maybe it was another panic attack. If that was the case, all of the privacy in the world wasn't going to make it better. He knocked on Duo's bathroom door.
“Duo, are you ok?” he called. There was no answer, but Heero could hear a sound over the water that sounded like a child crying.
“Shit,” he muttered. He didn't want to invade Duo's privacy, especially if he was in the shower, though there was that part of him that was always looking for an excuse to see his friend naked, but right now his worry was stronger than those other feelings.
“Duo, if you don't answer me, I'm coming in,” Heero tried, speaking a bit louder, but Duo still didn't respond. When Heero turned the knob, he found, oddly, that the door wasn't locked. Whether Duo had simply forgotten that he could or he had been in too much of a hurry, he didn't know.
“Duo?” he called out again as he entered the bathroom. The whole place was steamed up badly, making it hard to see and he had to turn on the fan. Duo's clothes were strewn around the room, a camera, oddly, tossed in between the toilet and the cabinet. Heero glared at the torn pair of jeans. What had happened? Had Wes found him or maybe one of his customers? Zechs, maybe?
The shower curtain was wide open, water pooling on the tiles around the shower and Heero blushed when he saw Duo. At first, all his mind could register was that his best friend was very naked. He was about to open his mouth to apologize, his face on fire and his libido raging, when his eyes finally took in the rest of Duo's state. His hair was still braided, plastered to his slim back and pooled on the shower floor. His face was buried in his arms as he had them wrapped around his legs and he was both rocking and shaking, in one he was clutching the bar of blue soap so tightly that his fingers had left grooves. Any attraction or arousal Heero had felt was quickly replaced by frantic worry.
“Duo,” he tried for a third time, but to his dismay the boy still either refused to acknowledge him, or rather, he couldn't hear him. He appeared to be in some sort of trance, but the child-like crying was horrible to listen to. Heero wanted to take him into his arms, but was afraid that the sudden contact would make things worse. All he knew was that he wanted Duo out of the searing water, back amongst the living, and to find out what was wrong so he could make this all better again.
“Duo?”
Heero had never seen anyone have a psychotic episode before, but when Duo suddenly looked at him with terrified eyes, he realized that that was what it was.
“Heero?” Duo asked in a voice that sounded more like a small child than a teenager. Heero nodded, kneeling down to make himself smaller, as though he was trying to approach a frightened cat.
“Yeah, Duo, it's me,” he said in a soft voice that cracked when he said Duo's name. He looked so scared and lost; it was taking all of his will power not to sweep him up into his arms. A tiny bit of the fear left Duo's eyes when he recognized the Japanese boy. Heero reached out to touch him, but Duo pressed himself against the shower wall, shying away from him.
“Don't touch,” he murmured, “You'll get dirty, too.”
Heero tried his hardest to smile reassuringly at him, glad that Duo wasn't refusing his touch because he was scared of him. He needed to touch him to get Duo down from the high, precarious place he was trapped in now.
“That's ok, I don't mind getting dirty,” Heero tried to assure him, even as tears prickled at his vision. He successfully pried the soap out of Duo's hand and put it on the edge of the tub. He honestly had no idea what to do in this situation and found himself floundering. Worst of all, Duo was obviously in a state where he couldn't tell Heero what he needed him to do to make the monsters go away. He wondered if this was how a parent felt when they were faced with a crying infant, knowing something was wrong, but not knowing now to fix it. Dirty… this wasn't the first time he had heard Duo describe himself as that and he hated it just as much now as he had the first time. Duo shook his head frantically as he felt Heero's fingers touch his hand to take the soap from him. Somehow, those fingers felt warmer than the water did.
“There's too much blood,” Duo moaned, hysteria starting to build inside of him, but the closer Heero got to him, the quieter the buzzing got.
“I can't clean it no matter how hard I try,” Duo's arms tightened around his knees, “I can't get clean,” he looked down, between his legs and watched his blood as it went down the drain wit ha haunted look in his eye. Heero's heart pounded as he felt a momentary jolt of panic at the mention of blood. Was he hurt? Heero frantically followed where Duo was looking, only with a slight feeling of embarrassment as studying Duo's body, but there wasn't anything sexual about it. Duo was acting like a lost child and while, if he tried to think of it that way, his body was arousing, his concern and love for his friend was like a mental road block against his lust.
“He touched me… for hours… all over… I can't get the stench off,” Duo murmured as Heero searched for the blood. Heero realized as his eyes traveled over the floor of the tub and the soft planes of Duo's body, that there was no blood, but he didn't feel relieved. It would have been better if he had had a physical injury to work with, something he could see and touch, but it wasn't his body that was hurt, it was his mind. He could take care of a physical wound with his hands, but he would have to take care of Duo with his words, something that he wasn't at all used to doing. Duo was the eloquent one, not him. It was ironic, Duo seemed more awkward than him when it came to dealing with people, but he always knew what to say whether it came to spinning a lie or soothing hurt feelings. Right now, he felt like he was back in the hospital, dealing with something that was causing Duo the worst sort of pain and stress, but also something that he couldn't see or experience. Just like then, he knew that trying to convince Duo that he wasn't seeing the blood wasn't going to help. To Duo, the blood was very real, it was his reality and if Heero wanted to help him, he knew he had to treat it like something real. Something terrible had happened and now Duo was reliving a rape, he might as well have just been raped. Heero realized with a tearing heart that, with how Duo was acting and how young he sounded, he was probably reliving the first time he had met Wes. How was he supposed to make that better? It seemed impossible.
“Where is the blood?” he asked. Duo looked meekly down at his thighs.
“Everywhere,” he whispered, “It's always everywhere.”
Not leaving his spot by the tub, Heero grabbed a washcloth and towel from the towel rack nearby. He laid the towel on the counter for later use.
“I'm going to help you wash it off, okay?” Heero asked for permission, expecting Duo to protest him touching him again, but the boy looked up at him with wide, tortured eyes, looking very much like the broken child he had once been.
“Please… help me…” he begged in a tiny, gut wrenching voice, reaching out to the one person he trusted to make things right again. Heero felt a tear escape his eye, but ignored it and climbed into the tub, trying his hardest not to stand and scare the terrified boy further. The scalding water made him wince and the feeling of his jeans and sweater becoming soaked was unpleasant, but he ignored both. He turned the water temperature down to a more bearable warmth and picked up the soap. He refused to take his clothes off for this. The two of them being naked together was too close to something else that he wanted very badly, something that was very inappropriate to even think of right now, still, as he kneeled down in front of Duo, he felt panicked with the thought of washing his naked body.
Duo trembled as Heero stood close to him, but he wasn't scared, for once. Heero wasn't bad. Heero wouldn't make him dirty or hurt him. He was the only person he could trust, the only one that loved him. He didn't want sex, he wouldn't touch him… down there… when he told him no, when he screamed it at the top of his lungs. Heero was safe, he was his sanctuary. He wrapped his arms around Heero's soaked chest and buried his face in his sweater, sobbing.
“Don't let the bad man get me,” he pleaded in the high-pitched, childish voice, “I'll be good! I'll do anything you want, just don't let him get me.”
Heero didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Duo's thin, naked back, hearing the anguish in his immature voice. The shorter boy's heart was racing, pounding almost violently as Heero held him.
“I promise, I won't hurt you and I won't let anyone else hurt me, not now, not ever,” Heero swore vehemently. He waited patiently, his wet bangs sticking to his forehead and making water stream into his eyes, for Duo to calm down before releasing him. He felt weird, his stomach prickly and hot, knowing that he had had a very beautiful, very naked Duo in his arms.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Heero asked. He knew, roughly, what Wes had done to Duo all those years ago, but he thought that Duo needed to tell him more than that now, when his memories were so glaringly fresh. Duo's shoulders shook as his hand clenched at Heero's jeans. He felt tiny and weak, vulnerable, but also protected as Heero put his larger hand over his. It was a powerful conflicting feeling. Heero could hurt him, worse than Wes had, but he was here to protect him. No one had ever protected him before. No one had ever bothered with the intention of making him clean instead of dirtying him more. He just wanted to feel safe. There was a huge difference between his life on the streets and how Wes had raped him. He had been without food, without shelter, but he had been so much safer than that moment when he had taken Wes' hand. In that one decision, he had given up everything, his safety, his innocence… his life and even his future. Would his clock ever start ticking again? In trying to describe what had just happened to him, he faltered. His memories in between then and now mixed with the freshness of the ancient memory. It had just happened but it hadn't… it made his brain feel fractured.
“He's been hanging around for awhile,” the child stepped in to answer for what the teenager couldn't say, “He said his name's Wes. He said he'd take care of me, he said he had food, if I could just do one little job for me, just a little one!” Duo almost screamed, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks.
“It's not your fault,” Heero assured him, tucking a few strands of Duo's wet hair that had escaped the braid behind his ear.
“But I was hungry…” Duo whimpered, “It was a bad thing, he was a stranger, but I was so hungry! I just wanted a little bite, to make the emptiness go away, somethin' that wasn't rotten.”
Heero watched in shock as Duo's mental state started to dissolve and his speech patterns changed. Duo usually spoke so carefully, cautiously to make sure he didn't let anyone know he had had to teach himself proper English, but now his speech was quick, just spilling forth and clipped as though it actually pained him to speak.
“I took his hand, I let him take me to his apartment. He was so nice to me… The sandwich tasted good, the best thing I had eaten in months and at first, I thought things were going to be ok, that for the first time in my life, I had gotten lucky,” Duo bit his lip, chewing on it slightly, a cute, childish habit, but Heero saw it for what it was. Duo was nervous, on the verge of panicking, but he wouldn't stop. Heero stroked the top of Duo's hand with his fingertips, ready to intervene if things got bad.
“I blacked out and woke up in his bed. He had stripped me and hung my clothes in his closet. He hadn't needed to tie me up. He drugged me. I couldn't move, not even to lift my head. I was so scared and I knew, I knew exactly what he was going to do to me, but I couldn't do anything! It was so cold… it is so cold,” he murmured, “he left me alone there, `cause he knew I couldn't run. It wasn't the first time he had… done that to someone, but I was special. That's what he always said, that I was special,” Duo's immature tone mingled with the one Heero was more familiar with for a few seconds, but the child won out, “I just wanted to leave, even if it meant going back to the streets, even if it meant being hungry again, even if it meant being cold again, it was still warmer than now, than that room… I tried to move, tried to run, but I couldn't. He trapped me, so easily, just like a stupid animal. I guess that's all I am, a stupid animal.”
Heero opened his mouth to protest that assessment, but Duo cut him off.
“Then… he came in…”
Heero froze. He had heard the other stuff before, though he had still listened intently. Being hungry, going back to Wes' apartment, eating the drugged sandwich, he knew all of these things, but whenever Duo had gotten to his part of the story, he would only say `he raped me.' Was he now going to tell him the details of what had happened? He watched in alarm as Duo's eyes clouded over in pain and memory and he realized he wouldn't be able to reach him until he finished.
“He told me that street kids were better because no one cared what happens to them, no one would care if I died or disappeared or what `cause I was trash. Plus, street kids know all `bout rape `n sex, so didn't have to explain what was happenin'. He told me I had twenty minutes before the drugs wore off and in those minutes we were going to have fun. He said that, like it was a game, it would be fun. He said it was gonna be harmless, but he was wrong. He said after the… fun… was over, he was gonna show me how to do my job. He tol' me that if I tried to run away, he would hunt me… like an animal… he would find me and hurt me. He wasn't lying, I knew that. He could hurt me so badly and there was nothing I could do. He said if I didn't stop fighting, he would kill me. I should have let him kill me,” he murmured.
“He got on the bed, he was still dressed, but I didn't feel safe. He never made me feel safe, not like you.”
Heero blushed.
“He spread my legs and looked at me, examined me. I've never been so humiliated in my life. I just wanted him to stop looking at me. Then, he touched me… down there… it was just a finger and just a slight touch, but it made me want to scream. I couldn't stop the tears. I said `no'. I tried to move and he wouldn't stop! He put one finger inside me. It didn't hurt, but I just felt so… violated, so… dirty. He did that just because I knew how things worked, because there was no one who cared enough to try to protect me. He thought that gave him the right. I know what happened to trash like me, I had promised myself that I would never do it, no matter how hungry I was, but I didn't have a choice. I never had a choice!” Duo sobbed, squeezing his eyes hut. Heero stroked his hair, trying to drown out his own pain at what Duo was telling him.
“He put another finger inside me, stretching me. But, I knew that it didn't matter. It was going to hurt no matter how careful he was and he wasn't going to be careful. Men like him never are. They don't give a shit about making things not hurt. Why should they? They're getting their rocks off, what difference does it make to them? He said that it was nothing personal, that it was just because I was cute and pretty and no one was going to come around looking for me, but how could that not be personal? It was always personal with him, just him and me, from the moment he first laid eyes on me. He couldn't ever let me go, no matter how much I begged him to. He unzipped his slacks… he was so big…”
Heero squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to tell Duo to stop, to just stop. He didn't want to hear this part, even if his friend needed to tell it, but he let him speak, clutching at his hand. He never would have imagined that hearing about someone else's pain would hurt so much, but it did.
“I knew that it was going to go inside of me, but I didn't want it. I was terrified, but there was nothing I could do. When he shoved that… thing… inside of me, I screamed. It hurt… it hurts…” Duo shuddered violently, wrapping an arm around his stomach.
“My body was invaded and I felt this horrible… tearing sensation. I had known that it would hurt, but it was worse than anything I had ever felt. I thought that I was dying. I could feel the blood… so much blood…” he shuddered again, looking down into the water. Heero opened his eyes and saw him looking there and knew that he was seeing the blood.
“He felt so heavy on top of me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I could feel him, every inch, even though the rest of me felt so numb. I just kept screaming, I couldn't think to do anything else. I felt like I was going to throw up. There was this black hole inside of me and this white noise, growing and growing. When he started to move, I thought that he was tearing me apart. He told me that it was ok to scream, `cause, what difference would that make? No one was going to care what happened to me.”
`I care,' Heero thought bitterly, rage starting to build intensely inside of him. He had never wanted to kill another person before. Yes, he had had problems with his anger, but his anger now was very much focused on one thing, one person, Wes.
“I couldn't do a thing,” Duo murmured weakly, shaking, “all I could do was lie there and scream. He told me that it was natural to bleed my first time, but there was just so much of it… I don't know how long it went on for, long enough to make me go mad, long enough for the drugs to wear off. I found that I could move my arms, but not my legs, but I was still powerless against him. He put his hands on my throat and strangled me,” Duo's fingers rubbed at his neck, feeling invisible bruises there. Heero's eyes widened at the admission. Wes had tried to kill him? His anger rose and rose. Duo could have died… but he hadn't… something had to have happened to make Wes change his mind. Though, he didn't think that Duo considered prostitution over death such a great thing. At the same time that thought made him sad, he could understand it. He hadn't ever been raped, but seeing what it had done to his best friend, he could understand how Duo would see death as the better deal.
“At first I had thought that he was trying to kill me. Everything went gray, I couldn't breathe, but he just kept fucking me. In fact, he was getting off on it. He got more excited. I tried to get his hands off of me, but he was too strong. Then, all of a sudden, he just… let go. I could breathe again. I thought that he had changed his mind, but then, he was choking me again. Even when I felt myself… going, I tried to fight, but it was so useless… He liked it when I struggled and he kept doing it, squeezing the life out of me, but never letting me die. Then… he climaxed inside of me. I wanted to die, it was so… dirty, and embarrassing, feeling his semen inside of me. It's still there, I can feel it… deep inside. I blacked out and when I awoke, he was gone. I don't know what time it was, but everything still hurt. There was semen and blood under my body and I could barely talk, my throat was so sore. There was blood in my mouth, somehow, from the choking. But, I guess I can speak now,” the child murmured, “I didn't want to move, didn't want to think or do anything at all. The bed was still warm. He slept next to me. Why would he do that? Why didn't he just leave?” Duo buried his head in Heero's clothed shoulder.
“My legs hurt, but I could finally move them. They still ache, but I can run. Wes wasn't in the apartment, I couldn't hear him. I knew I couldn't escape. He would find me no matter where I went and he would hurt me. I don't want to feel the pain anymore,” the longhaired boy whimpered, “It hurt so much… what more can he do to me? I couldn't take lying on that bed any longer, I couldn't run, but I needed to get fresh air before I lost anymore of myself. It hurt to move and it made me bleed more, but I got off the bed, anyway. I probably ended up causing myself more damage by moving,” Duo continued to look down into the water, into the blood that only he could see, “I found my clothes in the closet, but I couldn't handle the pants, it hurt too much.”
Heero laid his head on the top of Duo's as he spoke. It was too much, the knowledge of what had happened to the boy he loved, knowing that Duo was currently trapped in it, thinking that it was still happening, now, despite the facts that what had happened then was different than the present. Duo had obviously gotten rid of his jeans himself, yet he didn't seem to recall that, or the fact that he wasn't seven years old anymore, or that he and Heero hadn't met until much later. Whatever had happened to his friend, it had fractured his mind in half, two people in one body, one that was very aware of what was going on in the present and the other that was trapped in the past, warring between the two of them. Heero had to find a way to get Duo back without causing him anymore stress and he wasn't sure how to do that. All he could see was Duo the child that had been abused and neglected a loving hand in a time of his life that he needed love the most. All he wanted was to give him that love, to take care of him.
“I stained the shirt with blood, but I didn't care. It wasn't like I was going anywhere, anyway,” Duo continued in a tortured voice, unaware of the emotional turmoil his best friend was also going through. “How can you stand it? The blood… the smell… how can you bare to be near me?”
Heero found himself smiling.
“I told you, there's noting for me to be bothered by. You need me, that's all that matters, that's all that's ever mattered to me.”
Duo struggled against his tears, Heero's words starting to break through his fractured mind to the whole part of him. Heero cared about him, Heero would protect him. He didn't care if he was dirty or nasty, he just wanted to help him. He could feel the blue eyed boy's heat through his wet shirt and snuggled against it, feeling it start to dissolve the chill.
“I didn't know where to go or what to do, I just needed to leave. I walked outside, to the back steps of the apartment. It was in an alley, next to a Chinese restaurant, but I wasn't hungry. For the first time in my life, I'm not hungry. I had no intention of running at first. I was too scared, too beaten, to do anything like that. I decided that I would show Wes that I could be a good boy, then maybe he wouldn't hurt me anymore. It hurt even more to sit down than to stand up, but I was so, so tired, so I sat on the steps and I cried. I had always thought I was stronger than that, but I was wrong. I was always weak. I could feel the blood pooling underneath me, but I was too tired to care anymore. I thought that I would never be warm again, I was scared and cold, but when I heard… sounds… coming from the dark of the alley, I wasn't really scared anymore. I believe that I've met the worst monster out there, in broad daylight, so I can never be truly afraid of the unknown anymore. I'm just afraid of him… and myself, for letting it happen. But… it wasn't a monster or a man, it was a cat and her kittens.”
Heero watched in amazement as Duo turned his head to the side and he saw that he was smiling a little bit.
“I had thought that I would never be warm again, but… she was different… she cared about me. She was a cat, not even human, and she had showed me more affection than any other human ever did,” Duo looked up at him, “except for you.”
The longhaired boy shivered and his brow furrowed, looking confused.
“But… I'm here now… I ran… why did I run? I was supposed to stay behind… now, he'll follow me and he'll hurt you, too!” Duo's eyes were wide and terrified as he looked into Heero's eyes.
“He'll kill you… it's all my fault, I wanted to be safe, but I shouldn't have run!”
Heero wrapped his arms around his friend as he started to panic.
“It's not your fault!” he cried, “It's never your fault! I would rather be in danger and have you safe than be safe myself and know that that bastard was hurting you! If I have to become dirty myself to help make you `clean', then I would be happy to see things through your eyes!” Heero pressed his cheek against Duo's silky hair.
“Clean… dirty… broken… I just want you to be happy,” he murmured, feeling Duo's shivers and shaking, “that man has no power over me and he should have no power over you. Any affection you want, any love you need, safety and warmth… I'll give you anything you need because you're my best friend. You're not dirty… not to me…”
Duo's shaking lessened as Heero released him and picked up the soap, stroking his braid.
“You'll make things better?” the child asked meekly. Heero nodded.
“If you don't want me to help you, just say so,” Heero offered, “I can call my mom or Quatre or Trowa if one of them makes you feel more comfortable.”
Duo shook his head and seemed to panic at the thought of anyone else seeing him like that.
“Please don't leave me,” he whispered. Heero's heart clenched and he nodded.
“I won't leave you,” he promised, “come on, let's get you cleaned up.”
Duo seemed to relax when Heero picked up the washcloth and lathered it up with soap, but didn't leave their intimate space where Duo was close enough to lay his head on Heero's chest, which he did. Heero blushed again, but focused on controlling his breathing. His eyes traveled over Duo's slim, pale body. He had so many scars, some of them looking very terrible in the light of the bathroom. He winced at the sight of several electrical and thermal burns on his inner thighs and along his spine. He knew that Duo was anxious to get the `blood' off of him, so, using the washcloth, he washed the soft globes of Duo's rear, swiping gently in between them, imagining the blood for himself. Having the cloth in between his hand and Duo's bare skin helped his embarrassment. He focused on the task at hand, keeping his washing gentle and more affectionate than clinical. It wasn't the feel of Duo's body through the cloth as he washed his long legs and thighs that made his blush darken, it was the softening of Duo's breathing and the feeling of his body relaxing against his. He closed his eyes as he washed his friend's genitals, trying very hard not to notice their shape or remember his own curiosity, just simply washing him. Duo made a small noise of contentment as the soft wash cloth traveled over his stomach, chest, arms, shoulders, and finally his back. Heero felt like his face was going to explode by the time that he was done, but he found it very soothing, also, cleansing Duo's body as he laid against him. Heero scooted Duo closer to the water to wash off the soap, turning off the water when he was thoroughly rinsed.
“Feel better?” he asked. Duo looked down in between his legs, but didn't see the blood on his thighs anymore. It had felt good, Heero washing him. It was almost like he could feel the pain swirling down the drain along with the soap and dirt. He felt… good. Clean and warm and good. Most of all, he felt cared for. He hugged his best friend tightly, trying to show his gratitude as best he could.
“Thank you,” he murmured. The child started to sink back where it belonged, deep inside Duo's mind, and he felt his exhaustion hit him hard. He blinked up at Heero when he felt a soft towel being wrapped around his naked body. Heero smiled down at him as he rubbed the towel against his skin to dry him.
“Can you stand?” he asked. Duo tested his leg muscles and found that they didn't ache anymore. He stood shakily to his feet, one hand clasping the towel around him, his other arm in Heero's grip to make sure that he didn't fall. Heero helped him out of the tub and walked him to the door.
“Where are we going?” Duo questioned. He still felt shaky and vulnerable, but he trusted Heero to lead him since he didn't feel up to it himself. Pain still thrummed inside of him, but it felt more bearable with Heero in control. He suddenly caught Heero looking over at the tossed camcorder as they walked and some of his memories of the last couple of hours surfaced briefly, making him pale.
“Don't watch it,” he ordered, but didn't stop moving forward towards the door. Heero didn't say anything, but looked away from the camera. It was a promise that he didn't want to make, because he didn't think it was one he could keep. He loved Duo and he respected him a lot, but he needed to know what had happened to him and if there was anything on the tape that could give him some sort of clue, he had to watch it. Duo had to understand that. He was still shell shocked, so he wouldn't do it now. Duo still needed him more than his curiosity did. He shivered slightly in his cooling, soaking clothes, but when he opened the door to the bedroom, he blinked dumbly at the clean, folded pair of pajamas on the floor on the other side of the door.
“Mom,” he sighed. He had hoped not to get her involved with this until Duo had his feet back under him, but when he quickly looked around the room, he didn't see any other indicator she had been there except for Duo's pajamas on the bed, which was unmade, just for them. At least she knew enough to keep her distance, he thought. He would have to explain a lot later, but right now he had to get Duo into bed and help ward off the nightmares he was bound to have tonight.
“Am I going to bed?” Duo asked in a small voice. Heero nodded.
“I think we both need a nap,” he said. Duo stared at him with wide eyes.
“You're going to sleep with me?” he asked in an odd tone.
“If you want me to,” Heero offered. Duo nodded.
“I liked it… last time,” he murmured meekly and they both blushed this time. Heero closed the shades, Duo's arm still in his hand, and helped him to get dressed. The towel dropped to the floor and Heero had no problem helping Duo into the shirt, but when it came to the pajama pants he had to look at the wall over Duo's shoulder in order to keep from combusting. Duo's remaining tension seemed to leave him when Heero finally got him into bed and pulled the covers over him. Duo closed his eyes and snuggled into the covers. His eyes shot open again when he felt Heero's comfortable heat leave him and the dip in the bed where Heero had been kneeling disappeared. He sat up quickly and reached madly for the back of Heero's shirt.
“Don't leave me!” he cried out in a panic.
“It's ok, Duo!” Heero assured him, at Duo's side in less than a second, “I'm not leaving. I need to turn on the night light and change my clothes, ok?”
Duo hesitantly let go of Heero's wet shirt, but Heero could tell that he really hadn't wanted to. He could see the panic and fear in his violet eyes, so he worked quickly. He shucked out of his clothes in the bathroom, but made sure that at least one arm or leg was in Duo's sight at all times, then flipped on the orb on top of the TV and flicked off the lights, basking the room in a muted, soft and soothing glow. Duo peered at him anxiously over the covers, waiting impatiently for him to return to touching distance. Heero smiled softly at him and slipped under the covers with him, hugging him close.
“I'm right here and nothing's going to hurt you, ok? Just rest, heal, there isn't anything else you need to do right now,” Heero soothed. Duo relaxed against his chest. The teenager part of him felt the child sink back into him, feeling safe and warm in Heero's arms. The shock of the two of them merging again sent him into a deep, terrible sleep.
 
*****
 
The first nightmare started barely an hour later, not enough time for Heero to fall asleep, but it took him by shock when Duo's body jolted as if electrocuted. He didn't know why it was so surprising. If he had ever thought that there would be no nightmares tonight, he would have to be a moron. At first, it was just thrashing, but then Duo started to cry.
“No!” the longhaired boy cried out, his body rolling this way and that, fighting off an invisible attacker. Heero panicked when the other boy almost fell off the bed, so he grabbed him, rolled onto his back, and rolled Duo onto his stomach, keeping him still as he lay on top of him. Duo fought against him for a few minutes, but stilled quickly once Heero started to stroke his hair. Duo sagged against him, his head tucked under Heero's, as the taller boy started to hum. It was an old Japanese lullaby his mother had sung to him when he had had nightmares and it was mostly a subconscious action, but it seemed to work. Duo made small moans and whimpers, but didn't thrash around. Heero realized that there was no way around it, it was bound to be an impossibly long night. He sighed and relaxed against the pillows. He already felt tired, stretched thin because of emotional turmoil and anxiety, but he had to stay awake, he had to guard Duo's sleep. That was more important to him than sleep, any day.
 
*****
 
Sometime in between 1 and 2 a.m., Heero realized that, unlike in the hospital, if he didn't have something to do while looking after Duo, he was probably going to go insane. He didn't know if it was the insomnia or if it was his own burning curiosity, but he decided to make a go for the camcorder. At first, he had thought that he could just make a run for the bathroom and make it back before another nightmare started, but he didn't want to leave Duo alone, even for a second. Besides, when he tried to move, Duo's body tensed sharply and his whimpers grew louder. Heero tightened his grip on his friend and did the only thing he could think of. He needed to see what was on that tape. He could ignore it, but the story had to come out either way. There was no way he or his mother, let alone Trowa and Quatre who had to know that something was wrong by now, were going to let Duo get away with not telling them what was wrong. At least, if he could see what had happened, he wouldn't have to put his friend through another tell all and after last night, he didn't think that he would want to do that again in the morning. He couldn't leave Duo alone, so he picked his friend up as gently as he could and walked to the bathroom. Duo made things easy, wrapping his arms around him in his sleep, letting out a soft, satisfied grunt before falling silent again. Heero couldn't help but smirk at that, rubbing at Duo's thin back as he walked. Considering Duo's weight, it wasn't that hard and he wasn't squirming and thrashing as long as he was in Heero's arms, which Heero didn't mind one bit. Now that Duo wasn't speaking in that childish voice or crying or begging him to help him, his libido was back full force, which wasn't helping having the warm body in his grasp, but was used to denying himself that dream. Actually bending down to grab the camera turned out to be harder than picking Duo up and walking to the bathroom, but Duo's arms around him helped him to free one hand to pick up the camera, but by the time he got back to the bed and got onto his back with Duo on his stomach again, he felt a little bit like a contortionist. He wondered how Trowa was so… bendy… when it made him feel like a piece of taffy. With a heavy sigh, he laid back and opened the screen of the camera.
There was a tiny crack in the screen, but when he hit the replay button, he found that it worked fine. He rewound the tape and pressed play, turning the sound down so it wouldn't wake Duo up, but enough that he could hear. He still felt a little… raw… after hearing Duo's story from earlier and he wasn't sure if he was ready for another shock, but his need to know forced him to watch. The cameraman wasn't very good at his job. The picture dove and waved and Heero realized that he or she was walking. He heard young, male voices talking and laughing in the background as the camera shook. He frowned as the picture suddenly straightened and he saw Duo's back, it was obvious even though he was far away with the short stature and long braid going down his back. He watched as the camera followed him down the block. What the hell was going on? Suddenly, he saw Duo break out into a run on the small screen and he finally saw the four boys as they ran after him like wolves and the camera struggled to keep up. Heero watched in horror as they finally caught up with his best friend and dragged him into the alley, pinning him down and kept him from fighting back or screaming. When he saw one of the boys feeling Duo up, his hands clenched and when he saw him actually touch his friend in places that no one deserved to touch him, his hands tightened so severely that he almost crushed the camera. He growled as he watched the boy slap Duo across the face when he dared to struggle. In the background of his fury, the older boy's words echoed.
 
 
“It's nothing personal, Maxwell, we're not doing this just for kicks. It's not everyday you're approached by a cute, little blonde girl with a wad of cash. It's going to be the easiest money I've ever made. `Rape him and tape it', she told us, something about showing your true colors, frankly, I don't care. The boys here are strapped for cash. Me? This is just plain fun. Don't worry, I'll be gentle.”
 
Watching the boy's hand dive into Duo's pants, front and back, and Duo start to cry, he saw red. He felt like he was going mad, watching the boy he loved being molested hours ago and being completely helpless to do anything. He wasn't used to that. He was used to actions instead of words, he was used to always being capable to solve anything through violence or force, not sitting around while there was a huge problem above his head, or rather, sleeping on top of him. Relena… that bitch! He was going to kill her! This was stepping over the line and pissing on it. No one touched Duo, no one! No, first he was going to beat the shit out of those boys, then he was going to kill that prissy cunt! He tightened his arms around Duo, but continued to watch. He felt fear shake him when the light went out of Duo's eyes as he was almost raped and become listless, but it was replaced by rage when the boy kissed Duo, then intense pride when Duo fought back and quickly beat the crap out of his attackers. The tape ended and Heero put it on the floor under the bed, out of sight. His first impulse was to throw it against the wall, but that wasn't acceptable. The noise would just wake Duo up and it wouldn't really make him feel any better. Besides, evidence of what those boys had done would come in handy. He probably wouldn't be able to use it to do anything legally to Relena, but what he wanted to do to her right now had nothing to do with the law. He looked down at Duo, still sleeping peacefully on his stomach. He smiled at him. His love for him burned at such an intensity it almost made him feel ill. He wanted to protect him, but he realized that he couldn't always do that, which made him hate himself. He kissed the top of Duo's head.
“I love you,” he murmured.
 
*****
 
At four a.m., Heero was still wide awake with Duo safely in his arms. The other boy hadn't stirred other than a few twitches and soft murmurs for the last hour, for which Heero was glad. His mind was whirling with thoughts and he wasn't sure that he was up to trying to silence another nightmare. They had been going on and off all night long, but it seemed that if Heero was in physical contact with him, Duo would only cry and whimper and not thrash around. If Duo awoke with a full mind again, he would refuse to miss school, even if they had to wake up in less than two hours. Heero wasn't sure if he was going to let him talk him into it this time. The boy had had a severe psychotic break and even if he woke up back in control of himself, it wasn't something that he was just going to get over. The break had been building up for all these years and, for whatever reason, it had taken a bunch of idiot boys from school to finally bring it to the surface. Heero hoped that helping him through it, giving him a shoulder to cry on, would help to mend the break, but he doubted it. More like he had helped to force it down into Duo's mind again. Not the healthiest thing, but Heero was lost. All he could think to do was comfort him and try to get the Duo he was familiar with back. He wasn't a shrink, he had no knowledge of the human mind, all he could do was what his instincts told him to do; protect Duo. However, he also loved Duo and had a hard time not giving him whatever he wanted. He wasn't sure if Duo said that he was going to school today, he would be able to tell him no.
“Why?” Duo's soft voice broke through the silence of the room. Startled, Heero looked down at him. His cheek was resting on his lower chest and his eyes were half-lidded, still half-asleep, but his voice was normal. Heero breathed in relief. His friend was back, not completely awake, but he was still mostly there.
“Why do I have to go through this now?” Duo murmured, his voice muffled as he lingered in between sleep and wakefulness, “I've been raped most of my life. It's as normal to me as being hungry, it's who I am, what I am, it's what I know.”
“That's not true!” Heero snapped. Duo blinked up at him, starting to wake up a bit more.
“You are so much more than what some perverts did to you! You're smart and kind, you're not just a rape victim, you don't ever have to be that! It isn't normal for you. Just because it's happened hundreds of times doesn't mean that it's normal. You never got `used to it', you always hated it. It just kept building and building and building up inside of you until you finally relaxed. You thought that worst was over and it should have been over! Of course you snapped when it happed again!” Heero kept his arms around his friend, never letting go even during his rant. Duo laid his head back down.
“I don't like this,” he murmured, “I don't want to be so out of control.”
Heero stroked his hair.
“It's ok. What happened… you fought back, you were in control, even if you don't realize it. There was always a part of yourself that knew what you needed to do. You fought back and ran back here, to be safe. You may not have realized things through your memories, but there was a very rational part of you that knew how to fight back and how to make yourself safe.”
“You made me safe,” Duo murmured, closing his eyes, “That's why… I knew where I needed to go…”
Heero watched with a sad expression as Duo fell asleep again.
 
*****
 
Name slept fitfully that night. Her curiosity and worry wouldn't let her fall into a deep sleep. She didn't like the fact that both Duo and Heero had gone to bed without dinner, but she had left them alone. There was obviously something seriously wrong going on with Duo and giving his past, that didn't sound good. She wanted to know what was going on with the boy she had taken in, but she also cared about him a great deal and knew that she should probably keep her distance and let Heero talk him through it. She had done what she could, though, getting Duo's room ready for them while they had been in the bathroom. Knowing that her son and his best friend were in there at the same time, made her even more curious. All she could remember as she tried to sleep were the crazy look in Duo's eyes and his torn jeans. She had been in and out of sleep all night along and had finally given up the ghost at five in the morning. Sometime last night, she had made her decision and she called the school, leaving a message on Khushrenada's answering machine. She put a pot of coffee on in the kitchen and drank enough of it to change her state from partially awake to fully. She had spent most of last night dodging questions from Quatre and Trowa and worrying about Duo and right now, she was not happy at all about the situation. She could tell that Heero's friends were also foaming at the mouth to find out what was going on, but she had absolutely nothing to tell them and their curiosity would have to wait. She read the paper until six, letting Heero sleep in. She had no intention of waking up Duo at this hour, but she needed to have a little chat with her son.
Name lightly knocked on the door to Duo's room, feeling a little bit too wide eyed and bushy tailed considering her restless night.
“Come in,” she heard Heero say in a hushed voice through the door. She came into the room to find Heero wide awake and approached the bed. Her son had dark circles under her eyes and looked troubled. When she had decided to take Duo in, she had known that it was going to create a lot of problems, but she had hoped that Heero wouldn't have to bear the brunt of them. The television was on in the room, but Heero had put the volume on mute and the closed captions on so he could watch it without waking Duo. It was clear to Name that he hadn't slept all night, simply watching over his friend's sleep. Duo was fast asleep, lying on his side on top of Heero. Heero was sitting up, propped up by rearranged pillows and Duo had his head resting on the taller boy's stomach, his arms wrapped around Heero's left leg as he snuggled against him like Heero was a giant teddy bear. Name smiled at the sight. It was cute and endearing, making her want to take a picture, but at the same time, Duo's desperate grip on her son was also heartbreaking.
“Have you two been like this all night?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. Heero gave her an annoyed look.
“No, he had a nightmare and we ended up in this position. I decided to take the opportunity to watch some TV, why?”
She just smirked at him and sat on the edge of the bed. She took a long look at Duo and felt a little more relaxed. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully and he looked better than Heero currently did. She brushed Duo's bangs out of his face and he squirmed, making a small noise before relaxing again. She smiled softly at him.
“I called the school,” she told Heero, “Neither of you are going to school today, my mind's made up about that.”
She expected Heero to protest, but he simply nodded. She took that to mean he was either too tired or too worried about Duo to fight her decision.
“Do you want me to move him?” she asked. If Heero had been watching over Duo like this all night, his legs were probably cramped and he would need to stretch them.
“No,” Heero told her, “he'll just wake up or have another nightmare. If I'm not touching him, he thinks that he's alone and panics.”
Name nodded slightly. She knew that she should feel uncomfortable with the two boys entangled like they were now but she didn't. Duo needed physical affection even more than most his age and Heero's presence did seem to help him through a lot of emotional trouble.
“Did you find out what's wrong?” she asked him and her chest tightened in anticipation when he nodded.
“Relena paid some boys, five of them, from out school to rape Duo, tape it, and show it to me to make me believe he was… some sort of slut, I guess.”
Name's hands curled into fists. Relena… something about that girl had always made her feel uneasy and now she was doing everything that she could to destroy Heero. Oh, that wasn't her intention, but that was exactly what her so-called `good intentions' were doing. She had thought about waiting until Relena stepped over the line of a woman scorned and into a more psychotic territory, but the girl had just run right the hell over it. What she had tried to do to Duo, who hadn't done a damn thing to her, was beyond criminal, beyond wrong. Only, Name didn't really know what to do to make Relena stop. She was beyond threats, the girl's actions had proved that to her, and she refused to use the company to destroy the life of a single girl, that would simply be an abuse of her power. As much as she hated Relena, she just wanted her to stop. Destroying people that pissed her off was beyond her. She liked to think that she was better than that, better than Relena and her dirty tactics, even if her instincts wanted her to gut Relena like the worm she was. She also knew that, as much as Relena had hurt him, Duo would never let her attack the girl for what she had done to him. Duo frustrated her sometimes. He never tried to defend himself, even when he could.
“They found him last night when he was going to the grocery store. They dragged him into an alley and tried to assault him. He had some sort of… psychotic break… but he fought back and got away. He had a hard time last night, but… he's doing a little bit better now,” Heero said, looking down at Duo. Name followed his gaze, feeling quite a bit proud of him for escaping out of a bad situation without any outside help.
“Hm,” she murmured and Heero glared at her.
“Is that all that you have to say?!” he snapped, “Aren't you at all surprised that Relena did this?”
“Don't be an ass,” Name snapped back, “Of course I'm surprised, but I'm not surprised that he had a melt down! In fact, I've been waiting for it!”
The two of them froze as Duo tensed at the sound of their rising voices and whimpered.
“Shit!” Heero swore as Duo suddenly started to thrash again, fighting against him. Duo got out of his grip and rolled onto the bed, crying and panting.
“No, leave me alone!” Duo cried out.
“Move over!” Name snapped at Heero who got onto his side and moved towards the opposite edge of the bed. His mother slipped into bed with them, Duo in the middle, and wrapped her arms around the violet eyed boy, her long fingers stroking his hair.
“Ssh, it's ok, we're here, sweetie,” she soothed. Heero snuggled up to Duo's back putting an arm around Duo's waist and nuzzled his still damp, long hair. After several long, torturous minutes, Duo relaxed between them and seemed to settle into sleep again. Name sighed deeply and met her son's eyes over Duo's head.
“So, I bet you never thought that you would end up in bed with me again, huh?” she teased. Heero snorted.
“I'm going to sleep now,” he grumbled, closing his eyes. Feeling Duo's now familiar heat in his arms, sleep came easily.
 
*****
 
Duo awoke in total confusion. Where was he? He winced as he opened his eyes. He felt so strange… He didn't have a headache, but his head felt heavy and muddled. He couldn't remember… He was lying down, but he couldn't remember why that was. He was obviously in his room, the soft glow of the room told him that, but he couldn't figure out why he was there as his mind was screaming at him that there was something wrong about him being in bed right now. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes. His whole body felt heavy and he yawned. Suddenly, his eyes widened as his memories came back to him in a rush, his sleepy fog lifting. He remembered… he didn't want to remember, but now he did. He remembered last night perfectly, the assault, the mental break, Heero taking a shower with him… his face flamed and he grabbed at his head, groaning. He felt like he was going to be sick, remembering the lack of control, the soothing feel of Heero's hands on his naked body, knowing that his best friend had had to see him fall apart all over again. What the hell was wrong with him? Heero had told him that he had done the right thing, that he had had control, and he knew that the other boy didn't pity him, but he felt so embarrassed. His mind was sick, how the hell could he go to school if he had to see them, those five boys, every single day? That was what was wrong, he realized. His inner clock told him that he had been sleeping for a very long time and by now, school had already started. He blushed deeply as he felt movement on either side of him and realized that he wasn't alone. He vaguely remembered Heero sleeping with him, but he hadn't realized that he was still there.
“Duo?” he heard Name ask from his right side, “Are you alright, honey?”
He looked up at her as she sat up next to him, his face feeling on fire. Her status as his best friend's mother made him feel very awkward. She had slept with him that one time and he felt comfortable with her, but he felt like he was taking advantage of her kindness, too. It was more like he felt uncomfortable only because he was supposed to be uncomfortable in this situation.
“Duo,” Heero sighed on his left side. Duo shook his head.
“I'm sorry, I'm really sorry,” he murmured, “I promised you I'd be stronger and I go and fall apart again, you must be sick of it!”
Heero sighed again, putting his hand over Duo's as it lay on his leg.
“I don't regret it and I'm not sick of it. I didn't become friends with you because I thought things would be simple and effortless between us.”
Duo ran his fingers through his messy bangs.
“What happened last night…” he almost choked on his words, “t-thank you. I know it was embarrassing and stupid and you didn't have to do it… but… you're the only one who would have thought of what the right thing to do was.”
Heero smiled and bumped their heads together affectionately.
“It wasn't all that embarrassing, I just hope I didn't overstep my bounds…”
Duo shook his head.
“I know I wasn't really making much sense last night, but you knew what to do, what I needed. I'm still sorry for falling apart like that… I'm still not entirely sure what happened. I feel like my brain's turned to scrambled eggs,” he turned to Name, who was watching his and Heero's discussion with confusion and amusement.
“We know what happened, Duo, you don't need to explain,” Heero told him. Duo's blush severely darkened as he realized that Heero must have watched the tape. He didn't hate him for that. Heero had never promised him that he wouldn't watch it and he was actually glad that he had. He didn't want to talk about it, but if Heero knew the facts, he hoped that he wouldn't have to. He just wanted to forget about it. The story of his life, just hoping to forget. Relena had gone after him personally and he knew that she would never stop, so what was the point of thinking about it? Her plan had failed. Heero had watched the tape and they were still best friends. Hell, after what Heero had done for him last night, he felt even closer to him and he hoped that Heero felt the same way. That was a sort of victory, wasn't it? Still, how close he had come to being raped again replayed over and over in his mind and knowing that Heero had seen him being… felt up… was the worst sort of humiliation. But Name and Heero didn't hate him for it, so why did he feel so haunted by it, so anxious?
“You don't have to worry about those boys, Duo,” Name assured him, “I'm going to talk to their parents. Heero told me you did enough damage to put at least one of them in the hospital and that you brought home a tape of it. I'm sure that Treize won't let them back when he finds out. He'll keep it discrete, or course, but if there's something else you want me to do, and what you want to happen to Relena, it's all up to you, ok?” Name patted his shoulder. Duo nodded.
“I don't want to cause their families any trouble. What they did has nothing to do with their parents. But, if they're willing to rape me for money… I just don't want to see them everyday until they graduate. I wouldn't be able to face them, knowing what they tried to do. I can't ever forgive Relena for what she did, but what she did didn't amount to anything. I don't care what happens to her.”
“How can you say that?” Heero demanded, but paused when Duo looked at him with pained eyes.
“I've seen what violence accomplishes and I don't want anything to do with it. Say you do threaten her. She's not going to stop. You'd have to either kill her, which no one here would ever do, or beat her, which I won't let you do. Even if you did, then what? Will you really be happy with that?” Duo asked. Heero sighed.
“I guess not. It's not like I can have her arrested. There's no definite proof it was her. With her money and status, she'd never go to jail anyway. But I still want to beat the shit out of her!” Heero growled. Name rolled out of bed and stretched.
“Enough talk of revenge. We'll just have to be careful around her from now on, that's all,” she said. Duo suddenly remembered one of the thoughts he had had last night when he had been being chased.
“I'm sorry about not getting the milk and bread,” he murmured. The other stuff they could live without, but the bread and milk were things they definitely needed. Name ruffled his hair.
“I told Trowa and Quatre to pick some up after school, so don't worry about it,” she assured him. Duo sat up straighter.
“What about school?” he asked frantically, “What time is it?”
“You two aren't going, Duo,” she informed him firmly, “after what happened, you both need a day off. It's already 10, so you might as well accept that.”
Duo sighed. He hated missing school. He hated that feeling of knowing he was supposed to be somewhere else and missing things, but Name was right. He felt shaky, thin, unsure, and Heero looked exhausted. Guilt hit him. He was sure that Heero had stayed awake all night because of him.
“Name,” Duo said nervously, “un… is that, uh, cell phone offer still open? After what happened, I think I'd like one.”
Name snorted.
“Duo, after last night, hell will freeze offer before I let you out of this house again without a phone! Now,” she smiled softly at him, “I think someone needs a nice cup of hot chocolate.”
Duo brightened at the sound of that. It would make him feel better and he was pretty thirsty.
“I'll bring you up some coffee, Heero,” she told him and opened the door to leave.
“Thanks, Mom,” Heero called back and sunk back into the sheets.
“Are you really ok?” he asked Duo when his mother had left. Duo nodded.
“I feel a bit shaky, but I'll be ok,” he assured him. Heero seemed to accept that.
“Alright. What do you want to do with our day off?”
Duo found the remote where Heero had hidden it in the sheets and turned on an early morning cartoon show.
“Personally, I just want to sit here with you and watch TV, play some video games, maybe go out to lunch?” Duo thought out loud. Heero smiled.
“Fine with me,” Heero smirked, “but no reality TV.”
Duo snorted.
“I second that,” he grumbled.
 
*****
 
Name returned a few minutes later with three steaming cups, one hot chocolate, one tea, and one coffee. She sat on the edge of the bed as the three of them sipped on the hot liquid and watched cartoons.
“What did you dream about last night?” Name suddenly asked Duo. He paused in drinking the hot chocolate. It felt good in his stomach, somehow giving him that safe feeling again.
“My first job,” he murmured, “I think… because I fought back this time and I wished that I had back then…”
Heero and his mother looked at him solemnly and Heero turned off the TV.
“Want to talk about it?” he offered softly. Duo had a far off look in his eye and Heero was worried that another break would occur, but as disturbed as Duo was, thinking about his past and his nightmares, which were really the same thing, he didn't seem unstable.
“Wes had been training me for months, training me to be a whore. I kept telling myself that I wasn't nervous, not anymore,” he said, “I told myself that sex was sex, it didn't matter. Wes had raped me too many times for me to care, but that was a lie. Wes gave me the address I was supposed to be at, the time I was supposed to go there, and told me to come straight home when I was done. I couldn't read very well back then, but I could match up letters on the street signs. He never trusted me, but he trusted his training. I could have run away, but I was too scared, too beaten , and I just didn't see the point in running back to my old life, so I did what I was told.”
Name and Heero listened to Duo talk, not wanting to interrupt him for any reason now that he had gotten started. Heero couldn't imagine that sort of blind hopelessness. Even when things were bad, even when he thought that his destiny had been chosen for him, he had had at least some choices.
“It was hard getting into some strange guy's car and that never got easier. My whole life, until I met Wes, I had learned to never trust strangers, which was everyone. But, I realized that it didn't matter. I would have to deal with bad guys for as long as I would be a prostitute. Hell, I was living with the worst of them. Wes looked normal, but, for some reason I had expected some sort of scarred monster for my first customer, but he was very… normal. He called me cute and asked if I was nervous. I told him no. I couldn't ever get over how happy all those men were when they were with me. I guess that's because I saw it as a punishment, but they all saw it as something great, pleasurable. Some of them hated that I wasn't a virgin anymore, but others loved that I was experienced. My first was like that. He took me out in the woods and we stayed in his car. I had no idea what he wanted and that terrified me. He told me not to be scared and to get onto his lap, which I did. He said that I was sweet. That embarrassed me more than anything else. Street rats weren't cute or pretty or sweet. He ordered me to give him a blowjob. I did. It was hard, even after all those weeks and months of practice, giving blow jobs was difficult for me because I was too small and I had to struggle to deep throat anyone. I figured I would get better when I was older, but I didn't want to think about my future, it just made me depressed. He penetrated me, but just with his fingers, so that wasn't so bad. He came inside my mouth, but I was used to that, even if it tasted bad,” Duo had no idea why he was admitting these things to his best friend and his mother, but he found that it felt kind of good and couldn't stop, “He paid me and dropped me off from where he had picked me up and left me there. It was the first time I had ever had real money on me and I was hungry. I was supposed to go straight back to the apartment, but instead I stopped to buy food. I shouldn't have, I know that now, but I figured it wasn't a big deal. I was wrong. As soon as Wes found out that I hadn't handed over all of the money, he beat me.”
Duo finished his story and felt flat, almost washed out. He hated talking about his past and, until meeting Heero, he had avoided doing so. Solo and his other pro friends knew the vague details, but he had never told anyone the truth like this. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. It was embarrassing, telling people that he truly cared about his dirty, dark past. It also made him feel good, like lancing an infected wound. Yes, the process hurt, bringing things to the surface he didn't want to think about, let alone talk about, but it was sort of a release, too. He found that Heero was holding his hand, his beautiful blue eyes smoldering with sorrow and repressed fury. He wondered what he was thinking. It was different than what had happened with Wes. He had willingly gotten into that man's car, had willingly given him a blow job, and had even taken his money. He may not have wanted to, but he hadn't gone into the deal kicking and screaming, either. Did that make him a participant in his own rape? He looked up at Heero, but when their eyes met, there was no disgust in Heero's expression, just sadness and a strange sort of acceptance. When he smiled down at him, Duo felt the thing constricting his heart crack and break away, finally allowing him to relax and breathe deeply. He looked over at Name and saw that she had been silently crying in a dignified way that only she could have managed. It made him feel oddly warm inside, knowing that hearing about those bad things happening to him had made her so upset, she had cried. He felt terrible about it at the same time that it made him happy to know that she cared so much.
“I'm sorry,” she said simply, patting his hand, “there are a lot of bad people in the world. I'm sorry you had to learn that so young.”
Duo shrugged. He really didn't know how to respond to that. Living on the streets had taught him that the world was not filled with good Samaritans, but it wasn't until meeting Wes that he had learned how nasty most people were. He knew now that bad came in different forms. The boys that had attacked him hadn't been gay, he knew that at least three of them had girlfriends, but one of them was known to nail anything that moved and he wasn't surprised that the other four had take up the offer, given how bad the economy was right now and people's greedy natures. Nowadays, it didn't take a lot to get people to do things against their natures for cash. He doubted that it had been cheap for Relena. He equally doubted that she had had an easy time finding boys from their school to take that hit which explained to him why the five of them had never spoken to each other before then. If your friend didn't know, it was easier to pretend that it had never happened. Relena had probably had to ask quite a few people before finding any self-respecting teenaged boy that would be willing to do another boy, though he didn't think that any of the boys that had turned her down were going to tell on her, not for his sake, anyway. He still couldn't believe that he had fought back. He had always just taken it, accepted the humiliation and abuse because he considered it normal. But, maybe the reason why he had fought against it this time was because things were different now. He had a family, people that respected him. He had left his old life and he never wanted to go back there. Hell, he was willing to do just about anything to keep from going back there, even if there was that lingering lust for the familiar. He liked where he was now. He didn't want to be weak anymore. He lay back amongst the pillows and turned on the TV again. He would have a lot of explaining to do when Quatre and Trowa got back from school, but right now, that didn't matter he was home.
 
*****
 
 
Quatre looked over at Duo nervously as the five of them sat in the school's cafeteria together for lunch. He and Trowa had spent all of yesterday worrying about their longhaired friend after he and Heero had skipped out on dinner the other night. Name had assured them that everything was fine, but Quatre hadn't been fooled. Name had been just as worried, if not more. His anxiety had gotten worse yesterday when Name had told them that Duo and Heero were going to be missing school and to pick up groceries on their way back because Duo hadn't done it the previous night, which was just plain fishy to him and his tall lover. When Duo was concerned, anything wrong, especially missing school, was a big deal. Their classmates had come up with all kinds of tall tales to try and explain why they weren't at school, but Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had ignored them all. At least Wufei had believed them when he had been told they were just as clueless as he was. Fortunately, when they had gotten back, Duo had seemed fine. He wasn't hurt and looked well rested. He had sat them both down and told them as much as he had been comfortable with, that Relena had sent some boys after him, to dirty him in Heero's eyes, but Duo had gotten away. However, he had had a small melt down, so he hadn't gone to school, but he was feeling much better now.
Quatre and Trowa had been understandably furious. Trowa had wanted to track Relena down and put the fear of all of them into her, but Heero had assured them that they had already gone down that road and Duo had decided to ignore her. They had decided that they were just glad that Duo was ok and left it at that. However, their resolve had been seriously tested this morning when the four of them had gone to school. Duo had spotted it first, but hadn't said anything, hoping none of his friends would notice it, but Heero was alert after what had happened. Relena and her limousine, sticking out like a sore thumb, had been parked across the street. Relena had glared them down, but as soon as she spotted Duo and Heero, only inches apart, she had gotten a sour look on her face and had gotten back into the limo, driving off. Heero had thought that it would have been quite easy for him to run over there and punch her in the face, but Duo had gripped at his jacket and Heero hadn't moved away from him. Wufei had met the four of them at the lockers, concerned for Duo's health and the violet eyed boy had told him the same thing he had told Quatre and Trowa.
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had spent the day watching their American friend carefully for any indicator that he was struggling, but he really did seem fine. They all knew that they weren't being told the whole story, but they didn't press. Whatever they weren't being told seemed deeply personal, so they let it go. Right now, Duo was messing around with the black cell phone Name had given him, trying to figure out, on his own, how it worked. Though he had asked her for it, he didn't like the phone or the taser she had forced him to take; it scared him a little bit that she had whipped that out like she had just had it lying around. He didn't like the cell phone because he had always hated them. They were annoying, too complicated for their purpose, and people took them too far, as though they had an excuse to act like rude assholes. All he needed was something to call for help with, not a library of ring tones, emoticons, texting, pictures, a camera, or games. He didn't like the taser because, though it was much more practical than the damn phone, he wasn't a violent person. After seeing people being killed on the streets and by Wes whenever a deal went down or someone got too close to the truth, and being beaten severely by him whenever he was in a foul mood or he had screwed up and needed to be punished, it was hard to bring himself to hurt others. That usually only happened when he was angry, but otherwise, it was very difficult to resort to violence. He didn't know if he could taser someone, even if he really needed to. Wes had hit his back with a stun baton once and he knew how painful being shocked was. Still, he couldn't deny that if he had had one when those boys had attacked him, he probably would have used it.
He studied the small weapon in one hand and the phone in the other. He almost laughed bitterly at the thought of what he would have done to Wes if he had had a taser that night, but he choked it down. He felt disturbed having both of them, but he felt a little bit safer. He smiled to himself. He realized that, even living with the Yuy's, once he was alone he wasn't really safe. He had been taking a huge gamble, sneaking out at night, but he wouldn't let Relena steal that from him. He didn't care if he was scared, talking about his past with Heero had reminded him of the mother cat that had helped him so long ago and he urged to see her babies, even if he was terrified of going out alone again.
 
 
*****
 
 
 
Name awoke with a start when she heard the front door closing. At first, she couldn't figure out what was going on. Slowly, the sleepy fog lifted and the absence of the alarm told her all that she needed to know.
“Shit!” she swore, rubbing at her tired eyes. She had thought for sure that she could sleep deeply tonight. Surely, she had thought, surely even Duo would have the common sense not to leave the house after what had happened to him. She sighed. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't lie awake, hoping that Duo would come home in one piece. After the other night, she wasn't so optimistic. She had to know why, what could be so important that her young charge would risk his life? She rolled out of bed, stripped out of her pajamas, and put on some warm clothes, walking downstairs quickly, but quietly, so she wouldn't wake up Heero, who was, thankfully, a heavier sleeper than she was.
 
*****
 
Despite Duo's no less than five minute head start, Name trailed him easily. The boy was actually being careful, she realized. He was staying on the main street keeping to underneath the street lamps, away from darkened alleys and both of his hands were stuffed into his jacket pockets, his left hand curled over what she assumed to be the taser. She kept her distance and made sure she didn't make even the tiniest of noises. She was shocked when Duo turned into the park. She couldn't figure out why. There wasn't anything in the park but trees, bushes, and benches, but the way he walked in so boldly spoke to her that this was where he had been going week after week. She followed him in, taking the opportunity to use the bushes and threes to stalk him more efficiently. She had to snort silently at her behavior. Before meeting the perplexing longhaired boy, she never would have resorted to slinking around in the dark, just to track a teenager. But, her son's best friend was changing a lot of things in her life. She wasn't so insecure to be scared of change, but she could see the power that the affecting, sad boy had over her and Heero.
Name watched in confusion as Duo sat underneath a tree and took out a can of tuna from his jacket pocket. Was this what he had been doing? Sneaking out for a midnight snack? She jumped when something leapt out of the bushes and ran towards Duo, but she relaxed when she noticed that it was just a small black cat. Her eyes widened as the animal ignored the tuna and climbed into Duo's arms.
`What is going on?'
“Shiva!” she heard Duo cry happily as he stroked the cat's slim back, snuggling with her. The cat rubbed against his chest and neck, purring loudly. Duo smiled brightly at her and Name found herself smiling, too. She had never seen Duo so… open before. He was acting like a playful little kid and that warmed her heart. She felt a little guilty, too. She had never discussed pets with him, it had never even entered her mind. She watched in amusement as six other cats emerged from the bushes, one by one, to snack on the tuna and curl up in Duo's arms. Name had never owned a pet before, but it was pretty damn cute watching the usually shy teenager become bold around the animals and play with them. She sighed and walked out of her hiding spot.
 
*****
 
“Duo.”
Duo's head shot up at the sound of Name's voice and his eyes widened when he saw her walk towards him.
“N-Name!” he stuttered, terrified. He had no idea what to say to her. He had never thought that she would actually catch him out here. He wanted to run away, to protect his cats, something, but he logically knew that Name wasn't going to hurt him or them, so there was no real reason to run away. Besides, he couldn't stand up so sharply without hurting Patches who, now very fat, was napping in his lap, confident that the human wouldn't let any harm come to her unborn kittens.
“We're going home,” she said, “it's too late for any of us to be out here.”
Duo looked down in shame. That was the rub of it, he supposed. He had let her down again and he hated that feeling worse than anything she could do to him. He shouldn't have snuck out and worried her. The other cats looked unsure about Name, not liking strangers, but not sensing a threat from her, so they didn't scatter.
“Alright,” Duo murmured. Name sighed again at his sad tone.
“Bring the cats with you.”
Duo paled. What did she want to do with them? He didn't think she would put them down. If she put them up for adoption, that would be ok, though he would like to keep at least one. He was closest to Shiva, Sammy, and Toby, and there was no way he could choose between them if Name gave him that option, which he doubted. He saw Name eye Patches as he cradled her bloated body in his arms as he stood.
“Over feeding them, are we?” she quipped in amusement.
“No,” Duo said in a soft voice, “she's pregnant.”
Name was taken aback by the protective tone in his voice. The other cats sensed that something big was happening and they crowded at Duo's feet. Sammy and Shiva climbed onto his shoulders while Angel jumped onto the top of his head, making Name smirk.
“Do you need help?” she offered. Duo looked down at Cassy and Cotton.
“Shiva, Sammy, and Toby won't let anyone but me hold them,” he told her, gesturing to the cats on his shoulder and the large, feral looking cat that was starting at her with piercing eyes. She found that she was more intimidated by the creature than any dog.
“But Cotton and Cassy will probably let you hold them,” Duo advised. Name twitched at the `probably', but kneeled down anyway. She had stared down hostile executives, but she had never had experience with animals and she felt nervous trying to pick up the cats. To her surprise, the tiger striped cat and the grey tabby seemed to understand what they were supposed to do and jumped on her shoulders, startling her a little.
“What about him?” she asked, looking at Toby.
“He'll follow me on his own,” Duo told her, his voice subdued. Name nodded.
“Let's go,” she commanded. As she walked towards the exit, she looked back to see if Duo was following her and saw that the large cat was indeed following the boy.
 
*****
 
 
When the front door opened and Name and Duo came in, Heero was waiting for them, angry and worried. He had been woken up when Name had left the house, but all he had heard was the front door closing. He had thought that someone was breaking into the house and had run to his mother and friend's rooms to see if they were ok, only to find them both missing. He had called Duo's cell phone, but it was turned off and his mother's phone was in her purse, which was still in her room. He didn't have even the faintest idea why his mother and Duo were out and about at this hour, but after searching the house, he realized that there really wasn't an intruder. He had thought about calling the police, but that was stupid. He knew that he was just overreacting, but he couldn't help but worry. So, he had stood by the door and waited, his heart pounding unpleasantly at the possibility that either Duo or his mother could be in danger.
By the time the door had finally opened, Heero felt like he was getting an ulcer with all that he had gone through with Duo. He was furious and ready to yell at whoever came through the door, but when he saw his usually stern and prim mother with two bored looking cats on her shoulders, and Duo with one on the top of his head, plus the two on his shoulders and a sleeping one in his arms, he found that he couldn't yell because he was laughing so hard. Duo gave him an annoyed look. At first, Heero had been so angry and he had been a little bit scared, but now that Heero was laughing, he didn't feel any better. Name looked like she was torn between amusement at Heero's reaction and equal annoyance at being laughed at.
“Are you done?” she asked.
“Why is there a cat on your head?” Heero finally managed to ask. Duo looked up at Angel who, along with the other conscious cats, was looking around at her new surroundings with great interest. She had never been inside a house before and didn't know what to make of it. They were all curious, sniffing out the new, intriguing smells, but they were also nervous and stayed close to Duo, the only familiar thing they had right now besides each other. Cotton and Cassy jumped off of Name to sit at Duo's feet, unsure of what to do. Heero stared at Toby, who wasn't quite so curious. He was also sitting at Duo's feet, but his piercing eyes were fixed on Heero. The tom had had first hand experience with the cruelty of human males. He had been kicked and picked up by the tail more times than any cat would take placidly. Plus, he had witnessed Wes striking Duo a few times and was wary of any male besides Duo. The human was bigger than him, but he had been around since Duo was a child, so he still looked at him as a kitten. He had proved to be trustworthy and in need of protection at times. He had never hurt any of the other cats, even Toby. He played with them and fed them and his body language was friendly, not aggressive, so Toby had learned to trust and care for him, but this new human made him feel edgy. He was bigger and a complete stranger. Both he and the older female seemed most interested in Patches and that fact made his fur bristle.
“Bring them into the kitchen,” Name ordered. Duo nodded and walked after her, Heero following them, but keeping an eye on Duo for any clue as to what was going on. He looked nervous and scared, which Heero hated, but mostly he wanted to know why Duo was leading around seven cats like the pied piper. The felines didn't seem sure about going deeper into the house, but they stayed close to Duo for security. When they entered the kitchen, Duo bent down and let Angel and Sammy down.
“It's ok,” he murmured as he stroked Angel and Cassy. Sensing that there wasn't any immediate danger, the cats explored the new room with the nice smells. Patches finally woke up and got out of Duo's arms, slowly walking over to a corner that was warmest and curling up again. However, Shiva and Toby refused to leave Duo's side. Shiva took Patches' place and let the boy pet her. He was displaying signs of anxiety, but touching her fur relaxed him. Besides, he was always good at petting.
Heero and Name sat at the table and watched with wide eyes as Toby jumped up on the table, his intense eyes glaring at them, almost daring them to make a hostile move. Duo didn't seem at all daunted by the large cat's presence. He actually seemed to relax.
“What is going on?” Heero demanded. He had never really been around cats before and had no idea how to act towards them.
“Yes, what is going on?”
The three of them turned and saw Trowa standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, giving them a slightly annoyed look. Quatre was still half asleep, leaning against him. The blonde woke up fully, his face brightening, when he saw the cats.
“Kitties!” he squealed, kneeling down and cooing at Cassy. The tiger-striped cat ran over to him, eager for attention and let him pet her. Trowa rolled his eyes at this. He and Quatre were both animal lovers and had talked about getting a cat or dog or bunny for years, but had never really made a decision about it. Quatre picked Cassy up and he and Trowa sat down at the table.
“What's her name?” Quatre asked as the blue-eyed cat fell asleep on his lap, his pale fingers stroking the top of her head. Duo smiled warmly at him.
“Cassy,” he told him.
“Can we get back on topic here?!” Heero snapped, “Why did you and Mom leave the house at one in the bloody morning?!”
Duo looked away from him.
“I can answer some of that,” Name interrupted, “for a few weeks now, I kept hearing someone leaving the house some days in the early morning.”
Duo blushed darkly as he realized that she had always known about his nightly excursions.
“I knew it was Duo, I just couldn't figure out why.”
“Why didn't you stop him?!” Heero yelled, livid. Duo had deliberately put his safety on the line and that was unforgivable, but if his mother had known about it, why hadn't she told him to stop?!
Name gave Heero a sharp look.
“I didn't stop him because I trust him and I didn't want to interfere in something that he might need to do. I only followed him tonight because of what happened to him the other night,” she looked at Duo, not noticing Heero's embarrassed look, “I'm upset that you were sneaking around after dark, but I'm willing to listen to your reason.”
Duo chewed on his lip. He knew that he was in big trouble, but couldn't help but feel a tiny bit good about it. At least Name cared about him enough to want to know where he went at night and why. He just didn't want his cats to be punished for something that was solely his fault. He didn't want to stop seeing them. The feel of Shiva's fur on his fingers was soothing, but it broke his heart at the same time because he knew that tonight was probably the last time he was going to see her.
“The night Wes raped me… I had a hard time coping with it,” he said in a small voice.
Name almost snorted at that. He had been seven years old, for Christ's sake! Anyone would have had a hard time dealing with that, let alone a child who, as worldly as he had thought he was, probably didn't fully understand what was happening.
“Wes's apartment is in an alley next to a Chinese restaurant, so there were a lot of animals, especially near the dumpster, rats and raccoons mostly. There was this black cat with kittens living there, too. I made friends with her and fed her what little scraps I could afford. She listened to me whenever I needed it and she was always there. She… helped me, a lot. If I hadn't had something… safe, back then, I think I might have tried to kill myself.”
Heero paled, his hands clenched in his lap. The thought of Duo, having only seven years in his entire life, actually contemplating ending his existence, made him want to throw up.
“All the shorthairs here are one of her litters. Toby came around a year after that, probably because of all the food I kept leaving out. I found Sammy this year. He was only a few months old and someone had dropped him in the dumpster, so I tried to take care of him.”
Sammy seemed to sense that they were talking about him and the leopard-print kitten looked up at Duo with gold eyes, his striped tail twitching in curiosity. Name raised an eyebrow at Duo.
“So you've been keeping wild pets and have been running off at night to play with them?” she asked. Duo nodded sheepishly. Name sighed and pinched her nose.
“It's just the seven?”
Duo nodded.
“What… what are you going to do to them?” he asked nervously. Name gave him a stern look.
“Duo, I'm disappointed that you were sneaking around and keeping things from me. You didn't outright lie to me, but you put yourself in danger and I can't let that go. You're grounded for the weekend, so you can't go out with Heero or anyone. Understood?”
Duo nodded. It seemed much fairer than he had thought would happen.
“As for your… friends,” she hesitated on the word in amusement, “I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told Heero when he was eight and wanted to know if he could have a puppy.”
Duo felt his spirits lift a little when he saw Heero blush.
“Owning an animal is more than just a responsibility. You're the guardian for another living creature. You are responsible for keeping them alive and happy. If you want these cats, it's on your shoulders to take care of them. I don't mind having so many animals in the house, but you have to feed them, buy them toys, and make sure they're healthy. Otherwise, we're going to have to find someone else willing to take them.”
Duo and Quatre looked at Name with wide eyes.
“Then… I can keep them?” Duo asked in shock. Name never ceased to surprise him. He had been sure that she wouldn't want even one pet, let alone seven, but her response about responsibility had suited her perfectly. Shiva purred as he stroked her ears lightly. Name sighed again.
“Yes, you can keep them. Though, how we'll handle sharing the house with the little beasts, I'll never know…”
Duo would have jumped up and hugged her if Shiva hadn't been in his lap.
“Thank you,” he said sincerely. He didn't have to say goodbye to any of them…
“You're welcome, Duo,” Name looked around at the small horde of felines, “So who's who?”
Trowa watched Name and Duo's exchange in amusement. He hadn't been around this many animals since he had worked in the circus with his sister, Catherine, and the only cats he had had to deal with there had been lions, but he felt an affinity with the smaller cats, too.
“This one's Shiva,” Duo looked at the cat in his lap, “She and Sammy are the youngest. Shiva, Cassy, Cotton, Angel, and Patches are the offspring of the first cat I had met and they're all American Shorthairs. Shiva, Toby, and Sammy won't let anyone touch them but me and Shiva should probably be kept out of the kitchen. She's smart and learns how to… er… get food no matter what's in her way. The one that looks like a little leopard is Sammy. He's rambunctious and will destroy anything in sight. He's a Bengal and only he and Shiva like water and will let you give them baths. The grey tabby's Cotton, he's shy and lazy. He usually only wakes up in he's hungry or wants to play. The white cat is Angel. She's very affectionate. All you have to do is pet her or give her food and you'll be her best friend for life. The pregnant Calico is Patches. She's very gentle and quiet, especially now that she has no energy to do much, but she loves warmth and gets kind of grumpy when it's cold out,” Duo looked at Cassy, smiling to himself as he noted how smitten Quatre was with her.
“Cassy can be kind of hyper at times, but she settles down when you pet her. This big guy is Toby,” Duo scratched behind the tom cat's ear. He gave out a low purr, but his gaze didn't move from Heero.
“He's a Javanese and he's very protective, and loyal. When I went looking for them after being in the hospital for so long, he was the first one to find me.”
“Is he dangerous?” Heero asked, concerned about how the cat was sizing him up. Duo shrugged.
“He's just not very trusting,” he explained, “but once you earn his trust, he'll take to you pretty fast.”
“Can Cassy sleep with us?” Quatre suddenly blurted out. Trowa groaned.
“The second she sleeps with us, she's never going to leave,” he warned his lover. Quatre seemed unconcerned about that as he continued to stroke Cassy's thin back, his smile growing as she purred, her eyes half lidded.
“It's fine with me,” Duo assured him, “but she's probably never slept in a bed before, so be careful.”
Quatre nodded excitedly. Name sighed. She couldn't believe that she was doing this. Not only was she taking in seven cats, but seven stray cats. They needed toys, food, beds, collars, dishes, proof of ownership, microchips, and vaccinations. She had told Duo that they were his responsibility, but he probably didn't know everything that he needed to do and she wasn't above helping out. After all, she considered Duo family, so, in an odd way, the cats were family, too. Still, as much as she regretted her half thought out decision, Duo looked so relieved, so happy. He didn't have many good things from his childhood. The cats were probably the only good thing, she felt like she had to let Duo keep them. It wasn't a huge deal, she supposed. They were street cats and used to fending for themselves. She almost laughed to herself as she realized she could describe Duo in exactly the same way. If she could handle one abused, stressed, hormonal teenager, surely she could handle seven stray cats, right?
“Let's figure out where these mangy things are going to sleep,” Name took command again, “Tomorrow, I'm sure we can find some milk and tuna for their breakfast, but as soon as school's over, you two,” she looked at Duo and Heero, “are taking all of them to the vet to have them registered and checked out. You can ask the vet what they're going to need so you can go to the store and buy it. Trowa and Quatre will take Cassy tonight. Cotton and Angle can sleep in the laundry room since it's nice and warm in there. Duo will take Shiva, Sammy, and Toby since they're more comfortable with him. I'll take Patches.”
You'll take her?” Heero raised his eyebrow at his mother.
“Yes, Heero, I will. My room is the warmest in the house and we need to make her as comfortable as possible in this stage of her pregnancy. Besides,” she said with a smirk, “we're the only two in this house who know the pains of pregnancy. I think I can help her more than you boys can,” she looked at Heero, “isn't that right, sweetie? After all I went through with you, I think I can take care of one pregnant cat.”
Heero groaned loudly, flushing bright red, and hid his face in his hands.
“Please, Mom, please, do not tell any pregnancy stories!” he begged.
“I'm sure Duo would like to hear some about you and all the trouble you gave me even before you were born,” Name said with a grin.
“Mom!” Heero cried.
“I'd like to hear some stories,” Duo said with a curious expression. Name reached over the table to ruffle his hair.
“Maybe some other night, honey,” she said with a wink. Heero lifted his head and rolled his eyes.
 
 
*****
 
Toby seemed confused when Duo led him into his bedroom and sat on the bed. Duo didn't know if Shiva understood or she was just following him like she always did, but she jumped up on the bed and curled up next to his leg. Sammy paced around Toby, looking up at the large bed and started to make loud cries when he realized he couldn't copy Shiva's move, but wanted to join Duo on the bed.
“Ssh,” Duo soothed, picking up the young cat and putting him on one of the pillows. The second the Bengal felt the boy's hand on him, he quieted, making a small chirping noise when he was put on the small pillow. Toby continued to look unsure about the bed. Duo realized he had never seen one before and had only ever slept with other cats. It made him smile, seeing the usually aggressive tom so timid, met with the unfamiliar.
“It's alright,” he told the cat in a soft, comforting voice, “you can sleep on the floor if that's better, but the bed's probably warmer and more comfortable.”
Toby cocked his head at the soothing sound of Duo's voice and finally jumped onto the bed. Duo lay down, smiling as Toby and Shiva snuggled against him, Sammy curling up on the pillow, near Duo's head.
 
 
*****
 
 
Heero sighed as he and Duo waited in the waiting room of the vet hospital, impatiently waiting for the doctor to finish with the various cats. The veterinarian's was clean and official looking, but with the various people, some of them children, holding hurt or dying animals, it was also quite sad. Duo fidgeted in his seat. Heero put his hand over his friend's, trying to comfort him subtly. He looked so uncomfortable, so pained, seeing hurt and sick animals. Heero had never labeled Duo as an animal lover, but seeing him handle the cats and react so negatively to animals in pain made him realize more about his best friend.
Duo echoed his sigh. They had taken all seven cats to the doctors and, while they were waiting, they had asked around for things they might need as new cat owners. Heero's car was now stuffed with cat toys and food and tons of other things. Heero knew that this was going to be a huge change for them, but Duo was happy, so it didn't bother him. Besides, the cats were kind of cute.
“I have an interview with the owner of The Cottage,” Duo suddenly blurted out. Heero stared at him in shock. He had almost forgotten about Duo's interest in getting a job.
“I called him this morning. I have to meet with him tomorrow at 8 p.m.,” Duo said. Heero gave his hand a small squeeze.
“You'll get the job,” he assured him. Duo shrugged.
“I… I don't know what to say to him,” Duo admitted, “I'd like to have the money so I can buy stuff for my cats and so I can see movies and have dinner with you. I know Name can pay for all that stuff, but I'd like it to be my own money. But, I don't have any experience with part time jobs. What should I say if he asks about my past?”
“Tell him whatever you want to tell him,” Heero advised, “Your life isn't relying on this interview. Don't stress yourself out because of this, ok?”
Duo nodded.
“Right now… I just want them to be healthy,” he whispered, looking at the door the doctor had disappeared into hours ago, “I'm worried about getting this job, but I'm more worried about them. I know they're just animals, but they're my family.”
Heero pressed his shoulder against Duo's.
“I understand. You care about them. They helped you through a lot of hard times. Just because they're animals doesn't mean you can't love them,” he said. Duo smiled at him. The two of them froze as the door finally opened and Heero's name was called.
 
 
*****
 
The vet brought the two teenaged boys out back, a clipboard in his hand. Duo's back was stiff as he followed him. He wondered if all pet owners felt this way.
“All seven cats are in fairly good health,” the blonde vet finally spoke, looking Duo in the eye and smiling when the boy finally released the breath he had been holding.
“Angel has a small heart worm problem, but it's in the very early stages, so the medicine I'm giving her should clear most of it up, but you should give her more of it tomorrow and the next day.”
Duo nodded. It would be easy giving her medicine considering the feline would literally eat anything.
“Patches' pregnancy is going along fine. It's harder to tell with cats than people, but we can estimate that the birth will be within two to four weeks.”
Duo's eyes widened at the news. So soon? He had no idea how to take care of newborn kittens!
“I've given all of them their shots and microchips, so they're ready to go home,” the doctor said cheerfully, “you can pick up the heart worm medication and their papers at the front desk.”
“Thank you!” Duo said profusely. Was it really this easy to get what he wanted? Could he really keep all of his little family, happy and whole, with no strings attached? He wasn't used to living that way. He was used to keeping secrets and always having something that he wanted, but could never have. But, lately, one by one, all of those impossible things were becoming reality.
“Let's get them into the car,” Heero spurred his friend forward as the doctor left to get the cats. Duo nodded. It was a fight getting all seven cats into their pet carriers, just like it had been putting them in and taking them out in the first place, but Heero felt just as triumphant as Duo did when they finally managed to walk out of the vet's with all of them and load them back into the car.
 
 
*****
 
 
Heero wished, for what seemed like the millionth time, that he could read Duo's mind. The two of them were in his car, on their way to the Cottage. His best friend looked uncomfortably stiff, but Heero didn't blame him. You could never tell by looking at him but Duo was having a few problems being outside after dark since those boys had attacked him. What little confidence he had had was shot and Heero was utterly amazed that Duo had left the house so late that night to see his cats when now he looked so on edge. Of course, there was also the daunting task of trying to find a job, something that Heero was also unfamiliar with. He didn't mind driving Duo around, but he did mind how much stress the violet eyed boy was under. Duo kept telling himself that it was no big deal, but Heero could see that he didn't really believe that. He didn't know how to make him feel better besides being there, but Duo had insisted on going inside alone. Heero knew that the longhaired boy could be stubborn when he wanted to be and arguing was just going to stress him out even more, so he had agreed to stay in the car. Heero also didn't know what his mother had done to solve the issues of social security and birth records, but it must have worked if Mr. Hastings, the owner of the Cottage, had agreed to do an interview. There was a small, selfish part of himself that was hoping that Duo wouldn't get the job. He didn't want Duo out of his sight or for the job to take any time away from their weekend together, but there was a bigger part of himself, the part that truly loved Duo and wanted to see him healthy and happy, that was rooting for him.
The cottage was a medium sized novelty store located about a five minute's drive after the school. It had been modeled to look like a convenience store sized cottage with a warm, homey feel so when Heero finally arrived and parked in its private parking lot, Duo felt a little bit better. It wasn't a very intimidating place, but he was still very nervous. He felt like he had on his other first job, not knowing what to do, but wanting to succeed. He sighed deeply. He just wanted to get this whole thing over with, but he didn't want to leave the familiarity of the car. He flinched sharply as Heero put a hand on top of his, so deep in his thoughts that the feel of another human being had shocked him.
“You'll do fine,” Heero assured him. Duo chewed on his bottom lip. He knew that Heero was right. All he had to do was go in there and ask the man for a job, how hard could that be? He didn't have to tell him anything that he didn't want to and if he felt uncomfortable at any time, he could just leave. If the owner tried to harm him Heero was right outside and he had his cell phone and taser. Even if he didn't get the job, there were other places. He would just have to keep looking until he found the right place. It sounded simple, so why was it so difficult for him? He supposed that, deep down, he really wanted this job. It sounded like something he could do, the perfect job. He was surprised that the man had been willing to interview him. Duo had begged Name not to use her name to get the job for him, but if he ever found out that the Yuy family was involved with him, whether Name had intimidated him or not, would he really be able to not feel like he had to give Duo the job? He took a deep breath. He could tell Heero to take him home if he really didn't want to do this, but he would probably hate himself for it.
“I'm going to do it,” Duo suddenly announced. Heero smiled brightly at him and patted his shoulder.
“I'll see you in a little while, then,” he said. Duo nodded and left the safety of the car.
 
*****
 
The Cottage looked even cozier inside than it did outside. It was definitely a knick-knack store and tourist attraction. Though the town didn't have any beaches, it did have parks, five star restaurants, and the Zoo, which brought in a lot of tourists, which kept the store busy. Most of the store had cute little knick knacks, bumper stickers and such boasting the town's more popular attraction, and stupid little things like lawn gnomes and glow pens, but there was also a section of the store that catered to people that lived there like cheap food and paper goods. The store did a good business, but it wasn't cramped and Duo didn't feel boxed in as he walked to the customer service desk, amazed that the place was big enough to have three checkout lines and customer as well. The place wasn't quite as big as a grocery store, but it was much bigger than the other small business shops around this district. A bored looking brunette was manning the customer service desk and when she saw him approach, she pushed her glasses up her nose, making Duo want to do the same to his own glasses, and gave him a sweet, searching smile, but Duo didn't want to give her a chance to flirt.
“I'm looking for Mr. Hastings,” he told her, “I have a job interview at 8?” the words tumbled out in a nervous torrent. He wondered if this was how this sort of thing was supposed to go.
“Oh?” the girl, who looked old enough to be a college student, asked with glee, “Are you looking to be one of the evening cashiers, honey?” her voice was excited and she leaned on her elbows to give him a view of her ample cleavage, but Duo didn't rise to the bait.
“No, stocking,” he said honestly. She frowned, pouting in disappointment, but picked up the phone and dialed a number.
“Mr. Hastings? I have a boy here who says that he has an interview?” she said in a professional voice.
“Ok, I'll tell him that,” she said and hung up. Duo was surprised when she looked at him with a friendly smile.
“He says to just come right up to his office. There's a door in the very right, back corner. Go through it, take a left, and go up the stairs. Go in the right door, that's his office,” she informed him. Duo smiled back at her.
“Thanks!” he said and started to make his way to the back of the store.
“You're welcome and good luck!” she called. As Duo walked towards the back door, he didn't notice the blue-eyed boy hiding in the aisles of high shelves that was watching his every move.
 
*****
 
 
Heero ran a hand nervously through his thick, brown hair. He hated waiting. He had never matured out of the impatience he had had as a child, that feeling of doing nothing and how every second felt like five minutes. He knew that Duo was going to do fine, so he wasn't worried about that. He was a quick learner and a hard worker, any employer should be glad to have someone like him for an employee. He was worried about Duo over stressing himself, though. The boy had the tendency to over think things and make them worse than they really were. It was so dark out, but there were quite a few cars in the parking lot, a few of them had their lights on and bored men were sitting in them, no doubt waiting for their bargain hunter wives and girlfriends. Heero chuckled to himself. He was the same way. Even as a kid, when his mother had gone shopping, he had insisted that he stay in the car. He wondered about the old stereotype that all gay guys liked to shop. Clearly, that was a myth because he hated shopping like he hated going to the doctor's. Personally, he liked shopping online where he could just find what he specifically needed and buy it without even leaving the house.
Heero looked down at the car's radio clock. Duo had only been gone for a few minutes and he was already bored. He should have brought a book or a newspaper. He turned on the radio and surfed through the stations until he found one that was playing an old rock song. He hated new music. It was either rap, which he didn't consider music since it was usually just a guy talking about how hard his life was, or pop, which usually consisted of some teenaged girl singing out of key about love or no one understanding her. Heero yelped as he felt something jump on his shoulder and land on his lap. Glowing eyes stared up at him, the black cat's body almost invisible except for the glow of the radio.
“Shiva!” Heero snapped, “How the hell did you get in here?!”
The cat just mewed and butted her head against his stomach. Heero froze as he remembered Duo warning him that Shiva, Sammy, and Toby wouldn't let anyone but Duo touch them, but Shiva had jumped onto him and didn't seem to be bothered by that presence. He lifted a shaky hand to pet her, his fingers lightly stroking the fur on the top of her head. Shiva purred and seemed to become boneless in his lap. He found that he was smiling. It was oddly… therapeutic, petting the animal. He could see why Duo was so smitten with all of them.
 
 
“If I hadn't had something… safe, back then, I think I might have tried to kill myself.”
 
 
Duo's words shot through his thoughts and he shivered. He stroked Shiva's pointed ears. Because of this little creature, because of her mother and siblings, his best friend, the boy he loved, had found something in the cats that had given him the strength to live on, to not take his own life. He had met Duo, Duo was in his life because of Shiva and the others.
“Thank you,” he told the feline, “Thank you so much,” his voice was thick with emotion, “You kept him alive. You gave him hope and so much more. You saved his life…”
Shiva's ears swiveled in Heero's direction, listening to his deep voice. She licked his hand and rolled onto her back, placing her paw on his wrist, accepting his presence as non-threatening and familiar.
 
*****
 
 
“You must be Duo Maxwell,” Mr. Hastings greeted as the longhaired boy came into his office, shaking his hand. Duo had never had his hand shaken by a strange adult and was floored for a second. It had been easy finding the man's office and it was a comfortable place. There was a large, double-sided mirror on the wall that looked into the store and a large, circular table that the store's owner gestured for Duo to sit at. Duo had briefly talked to him on the phone to set up the interview, and he remembered that the man's voice had been strong and steady, so he was shocked to see that Hastings was much older than he had thought. Hastings had a full head of hair but it was a snowy white and his face was pale and wrinkled. However, his blue eyes were startlingly clear and young looking. Duo quickly realized that the man's age was irrelevant to the way he acted. He was further surprised when he sat next to him instead of at the other end of the table.
“So, you want a job here?” Hastings asked, his blue eyes piercing. Duo nodded, feeling strange and out of place in such a warm environment.
“Ok. However, before we go any further, there is something I have to tell you,” the older man warned the teenager, “I cannot be intimidated.”
Duo looked at him with wide, startled eyes. Hastings was temporarily taken aback by the violet color, but boldly continued.
“I am well aware of your connections with the Yuy family,” he said in a stern voice, “Everyone knows about that, but that doesn't impress me. If you think your connection with a powerful, rich family is going to make me give you a job, I suggest you go home now. I'll give you a job and let you keep it if you're a good worker, but I can't be bought or bullied. Is that understood?”
Duo sighed.
“I understand, but you're wrong. Who I live with is irrelevant. I specifically told Mrs. Yuy not to interfere. I want this job and I'm going to get it on my own,” Duo admitted. Hastings folded his hands on the table.
“I'm glad to hear that. It's sickening how many teenagers these days think that they can coast through life using their parents and shortcuts. Now, I was told that you do not have paperwork. I am not influenced by the Yuy name, but the corporate office, the people that deal with regulations and paying my employees, is. They are willing to pay anyone connected with the Yuy family, regardless of records and insurance. If I give you this job, they'll overlook all of that.”
“What about you?” Duo asked, “I'll probably never have to deal with them, but I'll have to deal with you every day. If you don't want to hire me because of my lack of papers, then please don't. I don't want the people I'd work with to feel uncomfortable around me. I can't work like that, no one can.”
Hastings smiled at Duo's words.
“I think you and I are going to get along just fine, Maxwell.”
Duo blushed.
“If I have a job opening,” Hastings said, “I'll be willing to give it to you. If you're a good worker, you'll keep it. Now, what were you looking for? I'm afraid we have enough day cashiers, so you're out of luck there.”
Duo dug his fingers into his pants nervously.
“I… I have a problem… dealing with people. It's the reason why I want to get a job, but I really can't deal with people on a large scale. I want to try to get over it in stages, though. I have to, really,” Duo told him in a small voice, “I tried to live in my own safe little bubble for a little while, but what I want is to be normal.”
Heero had told him to tell Hastings whatever he wanted and Duo knew that he had to be at least a little bit honest. He didn't think that being pathetic as going to get him a job, but he had to explain the problem so the man could understand why he needed the job.
Hastings' blue eyes softened in sympathy.
“I was wondering if you could hire me for stocking on the weekends. I'm in high school and I don't want my grades to suffer, so weekends are all I can do. I've never had a job before, but I pick things up quickly,” Duo said. The white haired man nodded.
“I only have two people doing stock during the day and early evening and one of them will be glad to switch weekends for weekdays,” he told Duo, who brightened excitedly. Hastings rolled the chair he was sitting on over to one of the file cabinets and pulled out a folder, handing it to Duo.
“Fill those out as much as you can. I'm going to call Bruce, he's one of the stockers, and tell him he's going to have to change his schedule. We'll work out your time schedule for next weekend and we'll see how you do. If I like your work, we'll work out something more permanent.”
Duo nodded. He couldn't believe this was happening so quickly! He felt his anxiety start to melt away as he filled out the forms. He was getting a job and it had been easier than he had thought it would be. He would miss having so much time with Heero, but this was something that he had to do, he still believed that.
 
 
*****
 
Zechs watched Duo's every step as he disappeared into the back of the store. The boy looked breathtakingly gorgeous with his clean, shimmering braid, healthy skin and form, and his well-fitted jeans and black sweater. He had been watching him and following him since he had come back to school, though neither Duo nor Heero had noticed his presence. That fact both pleased him and pissed him off. He was happy because it meant that he could continue to watch Duo, undetected. It annoyed him because their ignorance of his presence made him feel like he was unimportant. That was something he couldn't stand. It had pissed him off to no end when Duo had shown up at school with Heero. He had always had conflicted feeling where Duo was concerned. He loved him and wanted to own him, but he also wanted him to suffer. He had hoped that by showing Heero Duo's true self, Heero wouldn't want to be involved with Duo anymore, which would bring Zechs and Duo's relationship back to the way it had been before Yuy had stuck his nose into it. However, Duo had disappeared, only to reappear at Heero's side. Not only that, but they seemed to be even closer to each other! With Treize's threat still over his head, he was lost with what to do. He knew that his little sister was in town and he knew what she wanted, but he didn't care. He didn't care what happened to Yuy, as long as Duo was his.
Zechs waited impatiently for Duo to come back out. He couldn't talk to him during school because of Treize and his damn all-knowing rule, but Treize wasn't here to stop him from having a little chat with his old friend. It was a pleasant surprise to see him in this stupid store. Zechs' mother had sent him here for paper plates and napkins and he had spotted that wonderful braid from the corner of his eye. He would wait for him forever if he had to. He didn't care about Relena and her obsession with Heero Fucking Yuy, he didn't care about Alex and whatever stupid reason had landed him in the hospital. His parents had taught him to go after what he wanted, no matter what tried to stop him, and that was exactly what he was going to do.
Zechs smirked to himself as the door opened and Duo came out, too immersed in the papers in his hands to notice him following him.
 
 
*****
 
Duo left Hastings and the back office with copied forms in his hands saying that he was now an official employee of the Cottage and all the rules he had to follow, even a hotline that he could call if he was ever in trouble. He was going to start work next Friday, 6 p.m. sharp. He couldn't help but be excited. When was the last time he had done something normal all on his own? He couldn't remember. Even if he only got ten bucks a week, it was more than he had ever earned in his life. Wes' handouts and Zechs' blood money didn't count to him. He had never felt then the way he did now, it had always been a case of survival, not doing a job because he wanted to.
Duo's thoughts froze and were replaced with high-pitched static as he felt strong hands grab the back of his sweater and drag him into one of the aisles. He relaxed when he was released, but panicked again when he recognized Zechs' icy blue eyes. It had been so long since he had been literally face to face with the older boy that he was severely startled by his sudden presence. His stomach tightened with a mix of fear, hate, and bitter anger as he remembered what had happened the last time they had spoken to each other. His hands curled into fists with the overwhelming urge to strike him, but he believed that he was better than that. He had been bullied by Zechs for too long for him to hold the thought of lowering himself to Zechs Merquise's level. Duo suddenly felt very tired. Why couldn't his past mistakes just leave him alone? He had thought that, after seeing that his twisted little plan hadn't worked, Zechs wouldn't bother him anymore. Obviously, Zechs was even more like his little sister than Duo had thought. He wasn't ever going to leave him alone until he had exhausted himself to death. Duo couldn't help but feel dirty as Zechs stared at him. He had been naked with the other boy, had had sex with him and, because of his own stupidity and Zechs' cruelty, his relationship with Heero had almost been destroyed. But, it turned out that his relationship with Heero, though shorter, was stronger than Zechs' contempt for him. Duo felt a little bit of his tension ease as he realized that Heero knew more about him his past and his feelings, than Zechs ever had and ever would.
“What do you want, Zechs?” Duo asked tiredly.
“I just wanted to have a talk with you, away from those annoying bodyguards,” Zechs said in an innocent tone that Duo didn't trust. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave Zechs an annoyed look.
“Alright. You have five minutes,” Duo made a show of looking at his watch, “So, talk.”
Zechs narrowed his eyes at the other boy. Five minutes… was that all he was worth to the little shit?! Rage boiled inside of him. In the past, he could have made Duo cower with just a look. He could have had him on his hands and knees in the store's bathroom with just a single word. He had had power over him, true, untested power, but now Duo was treating him like a mere irritation. It made him want to slap the superior, annoyed look off of the pretty boy's face.
“Why did you come back to school?!” Zechs demanded, “Why the hell did you come back with him at your side like a goddamned puppy?!”
Duo glared at him.
“Heero's with me because he's my friend. Even when he found out the truth about me, even when he saw me at my worst because of your little schemes, he saw past all of that because he cared about me! No matter what you do to me, that will never change. You can't hurt me anymore! I know what true pain is now, and it has nothing to do with fists and hurtful words. True pain is thinking that the person you love most in the world hates you!”
“Maybe I should remind you of what I'm capable of, then,” Zechs growled.
“Capable of?” Duo chuckled, “You were only able to hurt me because I let you. You know what? You want to hear how much power you have over me now? All that time I was away, I didn't think of you once, not even a single, tiny thought. Hell, it was only my first day back when I saw you that I even remembered that you existed!”
“Shut up!” Zechs warned, “Shut up or-,”
“Or what?” Duo challenged, anger growing inside of his chest, “I don't need you anymore, Zechs.”
Duo's words delivered a painful blow to both Zechs' pride and his heart, making his eyes widen in shock.
“Maybe in the past I was too weak and scared to do anything to stop you and maybe it was easier letting you rape me than speaking out against it, but I'm stronger now. I'm maturing and I know that the only thing I really ever needed was a friend. I have that now. I have true safety, not something I had to degrade myself for,” tears prickled at Duo's eyes and he wiped them away hastily, “as far as I'm concerned, what happened in the past is past. I don't need you-,”
Zechs slapped Duo hard across the face, making him trip as he was pushed back, and he fell on his butt on the floor. His glasses fell of and cracked as they hit the floor. With a malicious sneer on his face, Zechs crushed them underneath one of his boots.
“Just who the hell do you think you are, you stupid fag?! You should feel grateful that I even look at you! You think hanging around Yuy makes you something all of a sudden?! You're trash and you'll always be trash!” Zechs snarled.
The second that Duo's glasses fell, his vision became horribly blurry and distorted. He dimly realized that his vision had gotten worse, but with his new glasses, he had never noticed the difference. He felt lost and naked without his vision. In a strange place like this, with no bright colors to help guide him, he might as well have been blind. His only consolidation was that, with Zechs' snowy white hair, he could just barely keep track of his movements as he advanced on him. Tears slid down his cheeks, making his vision even blurrier. His glasses… they were probably completely destroyed, he had heard what Zechs had done to them. They had been the first gift anyone had given to him and they had been a gift from Heero. Zechs had tried to take away the one good thing in his life and now this. His anger exploded and he lashed out almost blindly, kicking Zechs in the knee and knocking him against the shelf. He heard glass falling and shattering around them, presumably the snow globes and wine glasses that had been on the shelf since he could feel liquid on the floor, too. Zechs cried out as he fell and sharp pain flooded his leg and hands as, when he fell to the floor, he cut himself on the glass.
Duo heard someone running towards their direction from the front of the store, probably one of the cashiers, but it didn't matter. He couldn't do much to defend himself. Zechs could strangle him half to death before anyone got him off of him. His anger at Zechs made his never feel like they were on fire.
“I hate you!” he screamed, unable to stop his tears, “Why can't you just roll over and die?! Because of you, Heero hated me! Because you and your goddamn, stupid grudge against me, I ran away from the best thing I had ever had! Because of you, I had to spend two fucking week in THAT FUCKING ROOM!”
Duo, almost unconsciously, remembered the taser in his pocket and his hand curled around it, more than ready to use it.
“What the hell are you doing?!” the familiar voice of the customer service girl he had met on the way in screeched.
“Shit!” he heard Zechs swear. The white of his hair suddenly disappeared. Duo heard heavy footsteps and the girl made a startled noise. Duo realized that Zechs had pushed her away or shoved her. He suddenly felt thin hands on his arm and tensed in his near-blind state.
“Just get the fuck out of here and leave him alone!” he heard the girl yell. Duo let go of the taser and hit the speed dial button on his cell phone, instead, but didn't pick it up. He hated being so weak, but right now, he needed Heero. He couldn't do this on his own. He heard the back door open and another person joined the mess.
“What the… get the hell out of my store!” he heard Mr. Hastings snap at Zechs, “If I see you near this boy again, I'm calling the cops!”
Duo realized that he probably looked pretty pathetic, sitting on the floor surrounded by glass with a bruise on his cheek, he knew it was there he could feel it throbbing, but Zechs' injury was hidden by his pants. Duo wanted to snort at Zechs' stupidity, Wes had known that you never hit someone in the face because it's too obvious and makes you look like the offender, no matter what really happened, but he was afraid that if he started laughing, it might turn a little hysterical.
“Whatever,” Zechs grumbled in bitter defeat. Duo felt relieved that not even Merquise was so stupid as to attack him in front of witnesses. He heard him walk off, but didn't relax. He was still hopelessly lost and he only trusted one person right now. He heard someone else walking towards him from the front and panicked. He put his hands on the floor to stand up. He really didn't want to be on the floor anymore.
“Duo, don't touch the glass!” Heero's voice was like a beacon in the darkness and Duo wanted very badly to gravitate towards it, but he did as he was told and stayed still. He heard glass crunch under Heero's shoes as he kneeled in front of him.
“Who are you?” Hastings asked defensively.
“I'm his friend,” Heero said in a tight, worried voice, “I'm supposed to drive him home after the interview.”
The girl, who still had her hand on his arm, was silent and Duo could feel her shake. He realized that she probably knew exactly who Heero was.
“Do you know the boy who attacked him?” Hastings pressed. Duo thought about how quickly Heero had reached him and knew that Heero had seen Zechs on his way in.
“He's a boy from our school,” Heero explained.
“Heero…” Duo finally found his voice, but he sounded hoarse. He hoped that his new employer and employee hadn't realized that he had been crying. He was suddenly very glad that he couldn't see and couldn't tell if he should be embarrassed or not.
“I'm sorry,” he choked out, “the glasses broke,” he mourned, feeling their loss sharply. He felt his stress release him when Heero's hand closed around his.
“It's alright,” Heero soothed, “I'll get you another pair. Are you ok?”
Duo blushed as he felt Heero's other hand touch his cheek where Zechs had hit him.
“He didn't hurt me. It's just a slap,” Duo assured him, “I… I'm lost,” he admitted shakily. He hated this, hated being so weak and dependent.
“That's ok. That's why I'm here,” Duo was amazed at how he could hear the smile in his best friend's voice and how it made him smile a little, too.
“Are you ok with this, Duo?” Hastings asked, obviously not trusting Heero. Duo nodded.
“He's my best friend, I trust him more than anyone else,” he said. Hastings didn't say anything more about it and he could see if he had nodded, so he just ignored him. The girl relinquished his arm to Heero, who helped him to his feet.
“Do you want me to file a report?” Hastings asked.
“No,” Duo said. Heero sighed in annoyance.
“Why am I not surprised?” he grumbled. Duo almost glared at him when he realized that he couldn't discern Heero's face from the other jumbled colors and shapes that were confusing his brain and he would look like an idiot if he missed his mark.
“Can we go home, please?” he begged, feeling exhausted. Heero sighed again and led him out of the store, surprisingly good at his appointed task as Duo made it back to the car without bumping into anything. When the girl called good bye out to him, he waved in a general direction. Heero opened the car door for him, but let him find the seat on his own. Duo felt like a bumbling, crippled idiot having Heero lead him around, but it was kind of nice, too. His face felt hot, feeling Heero's strong hand on him and was very, very glad that Heero could write the blush off as mere embarrassment, but it was far from that. Duo struggled with his seatbelt, but he was grateful that Heero let him figure it out himself. He was used to the car enough to get it eventually.
“Do you think you can ever go out without some huge catastrophe happening?” Heero asked.
“Oh, I don't know,” Duo joked, feeling a bit more secure now that he was in a familiar place, just him and Heero, “it wasn't so bad. I got the job and kicked Zechs in the knee with only getting a slap.”
Heero's face lit up, though Duo couldn't see it.
“That's great! On both accounts, I mean.”
Heero was overjoyed that Duo had both stood up for himself and gotten the job he had wanted. He was pissed at Zechs, but that wasn't anything new. Watching Duo squint uselessly made his heart ache. It made him feel weird that Duo was more worried about his broken glasses than getting slapped. He remembered about how his heart had stopped three times in under two minutes. He had received Duo's unanswered phone call, knowing that something bad had happened and rushed into the store, only to see Zechs Merquise storming out. Right away, he had assumed the worst, imagining finding Duo bloody on the floor. He had found Duo on the floor, but only with a bruise. His heart had stopped for third time when he had realized that Duo couldn't see and was seconds away from cutting himself. After all of that, he just wanted to get his friend home and safe. Duo's refusal to get Zechs in trouble again was frustrating, but he was getting used to his dodgy behavior. He knew that Duo hated making waves, but he also knew that something had to be done about Zechs and Relena, or something horrible was going to happen.
Duo's laughter at Heero's remark turned into a gasp as something landed on his lap, but he settled back down when a furry head brushed against his hand.
“Shiva!” he cried joyfully as he felt her familiar ears and stroked her long tail. Heero's eyes widened.
“Can you see her?”
Duo shook his head, smiling as Shiva batted at his fingers, playing a game to keep his fingers from reaching her belly. Heero's heart melted into a warm puddle watching his friend acting so carefree with the cat, given his position.
“How do you know it's her, then?” he asked, perplexed. All of the shorthairs, with the exception of their colors, looked the same to him. Duo shrugged.
“I just do,” Duo said, unable to explain. It was an instinct, he supposed. Heero rolled his eyes.
“You are such a parent,” he grumbled, but smiled when Duo laughed.
 
*****
 
 
“You just can't get out of your own way, can you?” Name asked Duo with a raised eyebrow after he had told her, Quatre, and Trowa what had happened. Duo couldn't help but laugh at the similarity between Heero and Name's comments at his bad luck.
“But I got the job, so it's not entirely bad,” Duo pointed out, “It's just the universe balancing itself out.”
Name sighed heavily. Quatre gave Duo a tight hug.
“I'm so proud of you! You got a job and you gave Zechs a good one!”
Duo wasn't startled by the embrace. In the mixtures of brown, greens, and blacks of the kitchen, Quatre's blond hair practically glowed.
“And I'm sure Heero will get you another pair of glasses tomorrow,” Trowa added.
“Actually,” Heero said, “I was thinking of setting up an appointment with Dr. James. When we were in the hospital, he said he thought that he knew what was wrong with his eyes, but he didn't have the ability to test him. Even if he can't cure him, we can get contacts. Those might be better.”
“Contacts?” Duo asked, cocking his head to the side, managing to look in Heero's direction.
“If it's ok with you,” Heero offered.
“I'd like to try it. I really loved those glasses,” Duo said mournfully, “But I don't want to go through this again. If I get contacts, Zechs can't break them like that.”
“Zechs isn't doing that again because he's not coming near you again,” Heero growled.
Name looked at her watch.
“I know it's Friday night, but maybe you kids should go to bed, especially you, Duo, it's been a long day. I'll leave Dr. James a message to call me tomorrow.”
“Ok,” Duo agreed. He felt too tired to stay up late and he could get up early tomorrow.. He felt less on edge in the security of the house and just wanted to take a nap. He felt Heero put a hand on his arm.
“To your room?” he asked. Duo nodded. Shiva followed the two of them as Heero carefully led the longhaired boy up the stairs.
 
*****
 
Sammy was already sleeping on Duo's pillow and Toby was anxiously waiting for Duo. The tom cat was having the hardest time adjusting to his new life style. He was nearly attached to Duo's hip when he was at home, relying on him to remain safe and familiar. During the day, he prowled the house like an anal guard dog until he started to yowl to be let out, though he had returned to the house as soon as it had gotten dark, much to Name's relief. She didn't know what she would have done if he hadn't come back.
Toby was immediately on alert when he noticed that Heero was leading Duo. He jumped up onto the bed, ready to protect his newly named owner if he had to, but Duo stroked his back, his tawny fur standing out on the navy bed spread. Toby lied down next to him, watching Heero warily. Duo felt a little bit better about his vision as he sat on the bed sine he never wore his glasses when he slept. Heero left Duo for a few seconds to grab his pajamas and pushed them into Duo's hands.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” he asked worriedly.
“No,” Duo assured him, “I feel better now.”
“Ok, good night, then.”
“Good night,” Duo called, only taking off his sweater when he heard the door close and Heero's footsteps walking down the hallway.
 
*****
 
Heero sighed and pinched his nose as he opened the door to his room. He had only been half joking in his comment to Duo about his inability to stay out of trouble. It wasn't Duo's fault. It wasn't like he asked to be involved with assholes like Wes and Zechs, they just sort of gravitated to him, like mosquitoes to bright lights. He supposed that made him a moth, circling uselessly around that same brilliant light.
Heero's eyes widened when he saw that he wasn't alone in the room. Angel and Cotton had, somehow, gotten from their beds in the laundry room, onto his.
“How did you two get in here?!” he demanded, keeping his voice low so he wouldn't disturb Duo. Angel looked at him, unimpressed by the authority in his voice. Cotton was fast asleep, oblivious to what was happening around him.
“Scat!” Heero glared, sure that the hostile look would send Angel running. It didn't. She only yawned toothily and curled back up on the bed. Heero sighed again, rubbing at his tired eyes.
Fine!” he conceded, surrendering to the will of the stubborn cats. It was rare that he would give in to anyone, but even he knew when he was beaten. It was also very hard to be angry at something so small, cute, and seemingly helpless, even when he realized that the fluffy things could claw his eyes out if they wanted to.
 
 
*****
 
 
 
10:15 a.m. Saturday morning found Heero in Dr. James' waiting room, waiting for Duo's exam to be over. The optometrist had called his mother back promptly at six in the morning and had been glad to schedule Duo an exam at 9:35. Both Heero and Duo were immensely glad to hear that James had his own office, outside of the hospital. When he had heard that, Duo had proclaimed that that was a very good thing because there was no way in hell he was going back to the hospital again. It had been a sweet reunion between Duo and one of the few adults that had actively tried to help him. James seemed equally happy to see them and eager to finally figure out what was wrong with Duo's eyes. Heero thought that James considered Duo his good deed for the year, the one patient he had that truly needed his services. He had explained to Heero that he mostly took care of elderly people who would do anything to keep their driver's license and little nearsighted kids, but what had happened to Duo was just plain tragic. Heero agreed with him on that.
Heero stood as the door opened and the nurse came out.
“Mr. Yuy, Dr. James would like to speak to you.”
Heero nodded and followed her. He had an intense feeling of déjà vu in between now and when they had taken the cats to the vet. From one stray to another, he thought in amusement. The nurse brought him to James' office and left with a smile. James and Duo were already seated, waiting for him. Duo turned and smiled excitedly at him. He wasn't wearing glasses, but Heero realized that he could see.
“Contacts?” he asked. Duo nodded happily.
“Dr. James showed me how to put them in and clean them,” he said, “they feel kind of weird, but I see just as well as with the glasses.”
“You won't have to deal with them for very long,” James assured him from behind his desk. The short, kind optometrist hadn't changed at all since the last time they had seen him and Heero gladly shook his hand.
“Then you know what's wrong with him!”
James nodded.
“Please sit down,” the doctor gestured to the empty chair next to Duo. As Heero sat, he looked over at Duo. He smirked as he watched Duo rub at his nose where the bridge of his glasses would have been. Duo had always had mixed feelings about his glasses. He was grateful for the improvement in his vision, but he had gotten sick of the teasing and how they had become just as much of a crux as an aid. Now that he had his practically invisible contacts, he was feeling much better. He had hated the tests though. One of them was something that James had called a `soft tissue MRI', plus an X-ray. The doctor had told him that it would help them figure out if there was any damage to his eyes, but Duo had been scared of being in the dark, all alone. Fortunately, it had been quick, but he still felt a little shaky. He refused to tell Heero that he hadn't called for him because he was too embarrassed of his childish fear. The contacts were more uncomfortable than the glasses had been and he felt naked without something over his eyes and face, but James' comment that he wouldn't have to get used to them excited him.
“So, what's wrong with me?” he asked.
“I gave Duo an MRI and an X-Ray,” James told Heero, then looked at Duo, “when you told me in the hospital that your vision only started to go back when you suffered trauma to your head, I became convinced that the two things were related and the pictures I took of your skull confirmed it. The force that that… man used on you caused several hair-line cracks in your skull.”
Duo and Heero's eyes widened in shock.
“Don't worry,” James assured them, “They're non-threatening and your skull didn't shatter in any place. However, somehow, you have a fragment of bone, smaller than the edge of a fingernail, really, lodged in the soft tissue of your eye stem. It created a small cut in the tissue. On its own, the fragment isn't the problem, it's the fluid building up in the tissues because as long as the bone remains stuck there, the wound can't heal. The resulting pressure is distorting your vision. With enough time, the fluid is going to completely block visual reception in your left eye.”
“So… I'm not going to be able to see in that eye?” Duo asked nervously. A bitter voice inside of him told him that it would just be one more thing that Wes had taken from him, besides, at least he would still have vision in his right eye.
“The glasses have helped a little,” James said, “not as much as if the wound had never happened, but they won't be able to prevent the blindness. You probably will lose it within two years. However, there is a procedure.”
“What kind of procedure?” Heero asked suspiciously. Despite how kind James was, Heero still had very little trust in doctors and `procedures.'
“It's called an Iridotomy,” James explained, “it's a minor surgery. Basically, an instrument the size and shape of a needle is inserted into the side of your head, next to the eye. The bone fragment is removed and the fluid is drained. The wound and resulting puncture are so small that they'll heal on their own and, hopefully, with no fluid in the tissues, your sight will start to improve gradually.”
Duo's hands tightened in his lap. He had been so out of it in the hospital, he barely remembered anything about those first couple of days and the surgeries he had gone through, but instead of feeling relieved that he didn't remember, the lack of information scared him. What if something went wrong? But, the worst he could think was losing the sight in his eye, which would be inevitable if he didn't go through with the procedure.
“It won't hurt?” he asked nervously. He didn't want to lose his sight. More than his fear of surgery, his fear of such a handicap overwhelmed him. James smiled reassuringly at him. Heero took Duo's hand in his, seeing the fear in his best friend's eyes. He was scared, too. He didn't like to think about those first couple of days in the hospital, terrified that Duo would die, but this was different. They weren't slicing him up and it was important. He didn't want Duo to be blind in one eye any more than Duo did. He tried to dredge up some hatred for Wes at hurting Duo, but mostly he felt shocked that the man had did this. He had almost shattered Duo's skull…
“I'll give you a local anesthetic,” James said, “you won't feel a thing and the operation will only take ten minutes at the most. You'll have to wear a band aid over the puncture, but only until it stops bleeding. The procedure is similar to getting blood drawn, but actually hurts less.”
Duo looked over at Heero for guidance. Heero patted his hand.
“Whatever you want to do, I'll support it,” he said softly. Duo chewed on his lip. He didn't see any third option here. He could get the operation and maybe his sight would get better, or he could refuse and it was a definite that he would lose half of his sight.
“I'll do it,” he said with conviction, “but… I want Heero with me.”
Heero stared at him, startled, but Duo looked at him with need in his eyes.
“Please, Heero?” he begged and with that, Heero knew he couldn't say no. He didn't want to say no. He nodded.
“That'll be fine,” James said, “How about next week, Thursday, at five p.m.?”
“Ok,” Duo agreed, “will I be able to go to work the next day?”
“Yes, that will be fine, but you shouldn't drive right after the operation,” the doctor advised. Duo nodded.
“Thanks, Doctor,” Heero said and he and Duo shook James' hand.
 
*****
 
 
Duo was quiet as Heero drove through the town toward one of Duo's favorite restaurants for lunch; Heero had decided to treat Duo when they had left the Doctor's office, after the news about his vision, he certainly deserved it. Heero looked over at him, not sure if his silence and stillness was a bad sign or that it was good that he wasn't fidgeting.
“Are you sure about this?” Heero asked. Duo nodded, deep in thought.
“I don't want to lose half of my sight,” he murmured, staring out of the window, “I'm a little bit scared but I'd rather be frightened than half blind. But… I feel a little bit like that all the time,” he whispered, his voice choked with pain, “You're always leading me around and I just… I feel like I keep bullying you into this stuff. You're always there, even when I don't ask you to be. You don't have to be there for me next week. I can manage on my own, I swear I can. I don't want to force you to do something that will make you uncomfortable.”
Heero sighed.
“Dummy,” he said affectionately, “You don't bully me into anything. You couldn't keep me away if you tried.”
Duo smiled sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his head, imagining that he could feel the damage that James had showed him on the X-ray. He still couldn't believe it. The X-Rays had made his skull look like cracked glass. It was hard to believe that his skull really looked like that.
“I wonder if that's why my head hurts so bad when some spots are touched, because Wes cracked my skull?” he mused mostly to himself. Heero's fingers tightened on the steering wheel.
“Just another reason why that bastard deserves to rot in hell,” Heero snarled, “I mean, what the hell was he thinking?! He could have shattered your skull! You could have died!”
Duo gave a half shrug.
“He was always like that. He'd have these… plans and always seemed to know everything, but when he was mad… he was absolutely terrifying, but it was just in his nature, I guess.”
Heero's anger rose at the sound of Duo's apathetic tone.
“Don't you get mad over anything?!” he snapped, “The man almost kills you, he shatters your skull, rapes you, strangles you, and ruptures your spleen and all you can say is `it was just in his nature'?! You won't let anyone… seek out justice for you, don't you think you deserve that?!”
“There were some days that all I did was lie in bed, hurting and feeling dirty and broken, just hating everyone,” Duo said in a tired, flat voice, leaning against the cold glass of the window, “I've always hated Wes, I've always hated myself, but now… it's just so hard to feel any of that anymore. It makes me feel too sick inside.”
Heero pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and turned off the engine.
“You don't have to hate all the time, but if someone's hurting you or has hurt you, it scares me when you don't care and don't want to get people in trouble,” Heero said in a soft voice, “I know that we can't call the police about Zechs and Relena, not if you want to remain in hiding and anonymous, but there has to be something we can do to make them stop!”
Duo snorted.
“If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them,” the longhaired boy sighed, “Heero, with everything that's happened, I just want to spend one fucking day as a normal teenager. I don't care about justice or revenge or any of that stuff, I just want that one thing. Can't we do that?”
Heero smiled sadly at him.
“Let's try that, right now,” he said, “starting with a nice lunch.”
Duo smiled back at him and the two of them got out of the silver car, walking into the restaurant together.
 
 
*****
 
 
Relena couldn't believe that this was happening. What could be so difficult about getting rid of one, teenage boy? She had thought for sure that the boys she had hired could take care of things. She had been sure that Duo wouldn't fight back. She had been sure that Heero would see the tape and be disgusted. But, everything had gone so wrong. She had been wrong, Duo had fought back and Heero had stood by him. How could she possible conceive something like that? Well, Heero probably hadn't seen the tape, that was all. But, she couldn't get something out of her head. She had gone to the school to see if her plan had worked, only to be shocked in finding that absolutely nothing had changed. When Duo had started to walk into the school with the others, he had looked back, right at her and had given her this terrible… defiant look. She had shuddered and quickly left, not bearing to understand that expression, but she did now. That look had said, “go ahead, do what you can, but know that I will fight you every step of the way and I will never lose.” Yes, she understood that look very well and she hated it. A week had passed since then and Relena quickly realized that, all this time she had been thinking too small. Yes, the end result would have to be Heero coming back to England with her, but getting Heero to spurn his best friend was just so… childish. It didn't have to be Heero who got rid of Duo, but she was still sure that he was the problem. But, that look had made things personal. That look had sent a shiver down her spine. It had… scared her. At first she had scoffed at the thought of her being afraid of the longhaired boy, but she realized that she was. She had to think bigger, she had to do anything, as long as the end result was the same, it didn't matter, did it? All she knew was that in order to form another plan, she needed help. She needed to talk to the only person that knew Duo that she could talk to, her brother.
So, here she was, back at the school looking for the one person she had hoped to never speak to again. They had always been at odds with each other, even as children. She had always been her parents' favorite and they had had no problems letting her brother know this. Her brother had hated her for it, but what had really fueled his fury was that she had been untouchable. Zechs had blamed their father and his business and personal mistakes for the divorce and Relena had blamed their mother for not being a better wife and lover for their prestigious father. The worst blow had come when the custody battles had broken out. Both of their parents had been viciously fighting for custody of her, but with her father's money and status, he had won and had forced their mother to take Zechs and leave England. She knew that Zechs hated her for all of this, but she didn't care. There really wasn't anything that her brother could do about it.
With his habits of skipping classes to go smoke, Zechs was easy to find. Relena couldn't remember when her brother had started smoking, it was just one those things that seemed to always be there. He hadn't changed at all, she mused. He was still much taller than her, his hair still long, and his eyes were still as hard and cold as always. He was leaning against the back door of the school, a lit cigarette in his left hand. He looked at her with disdain.
“Relena,” he said in a stiff, cold voice. Relena smiled sweetly at him, but even a child could see how fake it was.
“Hello, Zechs. It's been awhile, hasn't it?” she greeted, “I hate meeting under these conditions, but there's something I need to ask you,” she jumped right into it but Zechs put up his hand, cutting her off.
“Save your breath, sister dear I know exactly what you want,” he jeered. Relena narrowed her eyes at him. She didn't know what she hated more, being interrupted or being transparent.
“And what is it that you think I want?” she asked, her cold voice rivaling his.
“To have your beloved handsome prince back at the `royal palace' and in your arms again, of course,” Zechs mocked. Relena curled her hands into fists, wanting to wipe that look off of her brother's face, but was too afraid of his physical superiority to try to hit him.
“Actually, what I want is to know what you know about Duo Maxwell” she said, trying to stay diplomatic, “Alex told me all about your… relationship with him.”
To her annoyance, Zechs didn't look shocked or angry at this, just slightly bored.
“Sorry, Sis, but what I know, I'm keeping to myself. It's my knowledge, after all, something you'll never be privy to,” Zechs grinned as fury filled his little sister's face and she looked like she was ready to scream. Playing with her was a bit boring, though, it was too easy to ruffle her feathers, unlike a certain violet-eyed boy who was getting progressively more aggressive and independent. He wasn't sure if he liked that but it did make things more interesting.
“Are you so arrogant that you won't help your own sister be happy?!” she screeched. Zechs pretend to think about it for a minute.
“Why yes, yes I am.”
Zechs almost laughed as Relena actually growled at him.
“However I will give you this piece of advice: you're on the right track. Heero will never want to be with you with Duo around, they're too closely knit. You'd have to take the violet eyed brat out of the picture entirely or Heero will always be… distracted.”
Relena snorted. If her brother was suggesting that her Heero and that… thing were… involved, he was way off. Heero was just confused right now, she just needed to remind him that they were meant to be together.
“I can help you if you want,” Zechs suggested. Relena glared at him and flicked her long hair over her shoulder.
“Don't flatter yourself, brother,” she snapped, “I don't need your help.”
Relena spun on her heel and stormed back to the limo, furious and frustrated, but knew that trying to reason with her brother was pointless.
 
*****
 
Zechs watched his sister go with a smirk. He crushed his cigarette under his boot and went back inside the school, shoving his hands in his pockets. Relena was still the spoiled little girl she had always been, unwilling to ask for help, but always demanding answers. Well, he was different. If Relena didn't want his help, that was fine, but like it or not, whether she knew it or not, she was going to help him get Duo exactly where he wanted him. Well, he wouldn't help her too much, even if they both needed each other's help. No, he wouldn't help her too much, it was much too fun watching her struggle in frustration and pain.
 
 
End Chapter 6