Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Road to Kindness ❯ Surgery Part 18 ( Chapter 25 )

The Road to Kindness

Chapter 7

Part 18

 

“Wow,” Fai murmured as he got out of Heero's car after he parked it in his driveway. The Yuy house was… impressive, yet it wasn't. It was much bigger than Wufei's house, everything looked perfect and beautiful, but it wasn't even close as to what he had been expecting. It wasn't a mansion, just a house, but a very nice, expensive looking house.

“That's what I thought when I first saw it,” Duo said with a small, fond smile as he looked at the building, slinging his book bag over his shoulder, “and now it's home.”

Duo seemed to be less somber today, as though he had put Wufei's words from last night behind him, but Fai was sure that he hadn't. He believed that Duo was a person that often hid how he was feeling with either silence or a smile. When Duo looked at the house, he seemed so… affectionate and Fai realized that this place was everything to the other boy, his sanctuary. He couldn't imagine having such problems that he would consider something as simple as a house with such a reverence. He wondered what it took to be in Duo's inner circle, to know why he looked so sad and old all the time, and he was positive now that there was more to it than his father abandoning him.

Heero unlocked the door and led the group of boys inside, Fai and Wufei trailing behind Quatre and Trowa hesitantly. Duo seemed to instinctively know what they were doing and turned to give them a reassuring smile.

“It's ok,” he assured them, “Name isn't even home yet. She's in Bangor at some sort of conference and won't be in until four or five.”

Heero glanced back at Duo and Fai was momentarily taken back by the softness of his expression. He had only known the Japanese teenager a few days, but in that time, he seemed so closed off and cold, but when he looked at Duo, all sorts of emotions flitted to the surface, naked to anyone looking. It was an amazing thing to watch and it made Fai wonder what sort of horrible thing had happened to make him and Duo stop talking to each other. Hadn't Wufei said they were best friends?

“You're one to talk,” Heero murmured to Duo, his voice small and soft, as though he was nervous just speaking to the violet-eyed boy, “Remember the first time you came to sleep over? You were so scared, I had to drag you into the house, you wouldn't even move on your own.”

Duo blushed and looked at the floor, but his lips twitched into a fond, reminiscent smile and he put his hand on the wall of the front hallway where they had all gathered, running his fingers over its surface with affection.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice almost as soft as Heero's, “At that moment, it was the happiest day of my life. I was so scared… of your mother's money, or her ability to hurt me, of making you ashamed of me, but mostly… I was terrified of losing you, of losing the only good thing that's ever happened to me. Of course I remember… and when I almost lost you later, that hurt more than anything Wes could ever do to me.”

Something seemed to click between the two boys and the rest of them held their breath, feeling something powerful in the air around them as Heero and Duo finally, after so long, made eye contact with each other. Without even realizing it, Heero and Duo suddenly made a choice. Their friends weren't quite sure who broke the contact first, Heero, who turned to lead them towards the steps, or Duo, who looked down again. Even Fai, who had no idea why their sudden notice of each other was so wonderful, felt a deep pain when it ended and they followed Heero down the hall towards Name's room wordlessly.

“Um, why are we going into your mother's room?” Quatre suddenly questioned.

“Fai wanted to see the kittens,” Heero pointed out, “Besides, isn't there something you need to tell Duo?”

Quatre blushed. Duo looked at him, one eyebrow raised in question.

“My sister is coming today for the kittens,” Quatre said, ashamed that he had waited so long to tell Duo. He knew how much Duo loved his cats, so, even though Duo had had no intention of keeping the kittens, he had hesitated in telling him he was going to have to give them up so soon.

“Iria called this morning,” Quatre told him nervously, “She said that today was the best day for her, since she has nothing important going on, but Dad's in a meeting and she doesn't want him to know that she's meeting with me… I'm so sorry, Duo, I should have told you the moment I got her call and asked if it was ok…”

“It's fine, at least I have time to say good bye to them, and I get to meet your sister!” Duo said with a grin. Trowa shook his head.

“You're too forgiving. You're not even going to make him grovel a little?” Trowa teased.

“Hey!” Quatre snapped at his lover. Heero rolled his eyes at his friend's antics and opened the bedroom door. Fai right away gravitated to the large basket where Patches and her numerous kittens were, some of them curled up against their mother, some of them playing with various toys or each other. Patches' ears perked up as she saw Duo approach her and leapt out of the basket, running towards him.

“Hey, sweetie,” Duo greeted her, scooping the calico into his arms like she was an infant. Patches purred loudly, lying lax in his safe embrace as he cradled her. Duo watched with an amused smile as Fai knelt down by the basket and tentatively reached his hand, palm up, to the kittens.

The kittens, though they were obviously bigger than they had been, were still pretty small and didn't have the motor skills that their mother did. Duo had tried not to spend too much time playing with them, scared that he would become too attached, like he had with their littermate and his other cats and their parting would be too painful, but he still felt sad that he couldn't keep them. He had been around stray felines enough to know that Patches wouldn't be heartbroken at their departure, but watching the little creatures romp with each other and stare up at the humans with curious eyes, he felt far from happy that he had to give them away.

Fai watched with wide, amazed eyes as a tiny, female calico stumbled towards him and sniffed his hand, batting at his fingers. Interested in the human and wanting to play and explore, she tried to climb into his hand, licking his fingers. Fai gently picked her up and nuzzled her white head. The kitten looked a little like her mother. She was mostly white, though her paws and the tips of her ears were black, like she was wearing mittens, and her tail was a light copper brown with black spots, the copper traveling up, following the line of her spine and ending at her shoulders. Like her mother, her eyes were a brilliant blue.

“She's so sweet,” Fai said happily, smiling brightly as the kitten rubbed her head against his chin and mewed. Duo caught the warm smile that Wufei wore as he watched his lover.

Quatre followed Fai's move and picked up the tiger-striped kitten he planned on keeping. Patches watched them from Duo's arms, making sure that the humans weren't going to hurt her babies. Duo mused that, as mother cats went, Patches wasn't very protective of her kittens, but she wasn't apathetic, either. Duo had seen some mothers try to claw the eyes out of anything that so much as looked at their litter and others that had abandoned their kittens the moment they were born. He had always felt horrible about the abandoned babies, but he couldn't feed every stray cat he found, he knew that. He knew how it felt anyway, suddenly realizing your mother was nowhere to be found and you were alone, struggling to take care of yourself. In the end, hadn't that been what he was? Just a stray cat that Heero, in an act of kindness that Duo still didn't understand, had taken in and cared for…

“What are you going to name her?” Duo asked Quatre as the blonde petted the kitten's back.

“Would it be too geeky if I called her `Maya'?” Quatre wondered.

“That means something like `wonderful' or `great', right?” Duo asked, “If that's true, it suits her. She's my gift to you and I hope she makes you happy, because I trust you to take care of her, but it's also a cute name.”

Quatre beamed like a sun at Duo's mention of trusting him. Trowa and Heero were the only people who had ever trusted him before…

“It's also a popular cat name in Japan,” Heero chimed in, “In Hansai, `Yamamaya' means Jungle Cat and with her tiger stripes she kind of looks a little bit like an Iriomote cat.”

“Well, why don't we take `Maya' and that one,” Trowa nodded his head towards the calico that Fai was holding, “Upstairs to Duo's room. He can show Wufei and Fai how to play some of his video games and I'll get us some snacks. We don't need to start dinner until Name comes home. In the meantime, we can fool around, maybe get some homework done.”

“That's fine,” Duo said, letting Patches down, “But shouldn't Heero or I get the snacks?”

“Quatre and I live here, too,” Trowa pointed out dryly, “It won't kill me to do a little work.”

Duo shrugged and led the way to his room. Fai cradled his kitten close to him as they walked up the stairs, feeling bad about separating the calico from her brothers and sisters, but she didn't seem to mind. Besides, he missed Jún and he didn't mind playing with the cute little kitten, he was just honored that Duo would trust him with her.

The Yuy household was so clean and perfect, yet clearly lived in; Fai was amazed that they didn't have any maids or butlers. They could certainly afford it, but the absence of any staff made him respect Name, and her well kept home, even more. Duo's room, however, made it clear to Fai that it was Duo's and no one else's. It wasn't messy and he hadn't expected it to be, but it was still completely different from the rest of the house. The art posters on the wall and the book case filled with novels and classics spoke to Fai of someone who had a great deal of pride in reading and education, but the abundant movies and video game systems screamed `teenager'. The cleanliness of the room and the star designed blankets told Fai that the room's owner was someone who had turned this room into their sanctuary and thus, was taking great care in it. In other words, the space was Duo personified.

A black cat leapt off the bed and bounded over to Duo, rubbing against his leg.

“Hey, Shiva,” Duo said, leaning down so she could jump onto his shoulder. Fai smiled at Duo's affectionate look as he stroked the cat's ears and she rubbed her head against his cheek. Lounging on the desk was a cat that looked more like an Iriomote cat than Maya ever could, but wasn't paying much attention to them, simply glancing over with golden eyes. The tawny cat on the bed, however, was glaring at them, looking like a cougar ready to defend his den.

“Um, Duo?” Fai squeaked, realizing that he was being silly, afraid of a cat, but then again, said cat kept staring at him like he was a mouse.

“Oh, don't mind him. Toby, off the bed,” Duo ordered. The tom flicked his tail at him in annoyance and haughtily, with a great deal of attitude, but also a lot of grace, smoothly jumped from the bed to the window sill, an impressive feat.

“He's as well-trained as a dog,” Wufei mused. Toby glared at him, but Fai couldn't tell if it was because of the comment or just because Wufei was a stranger.

“He's not trained,” Duo scoffed, as though he were telling a child that the sky was indeed blue, “He's just very smart and well-behaved.”

Toby seemed to give them a smug look, making Wufei wonder if the large cat could understand them.

“He doesn't bite, does he?” Fai asked, still nervous.

“Sometimes,” Duo admitted, “He's still kind of feral, but he knows that I'll be mad with him if he bites someone I like. Just don't hit me or step on his tail.”

Both of the Chinese boys glanced over at the Javanese, wondering if Duo was joking, but the cat's constant stare told them differently. The five of them clustered around the bed as Duo turned on the console and started up a fighting game that they could all play. As he was explaining to Fai, who had never played a video game before, how to work the controller, Trowa came in with the snacks.

Heero thought that watching Duo show Fai how to play was strange. It had seemed like forever since he had been the one to teach Duo how to play, though he knew it had only been a few months, not even half a year. That time, before he had known about Duo's past, seemed so far away, ancient, and it made him hurt. Back then, there had been so much… stuff between them, but at least they had been speaking to each other. Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa were right. What was the point of this? He just felt that his and Duo's friendship was stuck, stagnating. This had to stop, somehow. Either they had to return things back to normal, or break it off altogether. He didn't want that. He didn't want to lose Duo, and now he knew that Duo was still scared of losing him, too. He had to do something, he knew that, but he was scared himself.

Video games were kind of fun, Fai thought, though they fell on his father's list of things that were frivolous and wrong. Actually, Fai suspected bitterly, that they were so fun was the reason why his father had denied their use in his house. However, he wasn't very good at them and he quickly surrendered his controller to Trowa to play against Duo. It was more entertaining watching the two boys play, especially when they gave up the fighting game for a more story-based horror game. Their glee for the game, and their experienced playing, made it more fun than his clumsy button pushing.

They played, switching turns, and chatted about nothing, silly things, for another hour before they heard the door open downstairs. Wufei and Fai shared an anxious look realizing that it had to be Heero's mother.

“Come on,” Wufei urged, though he wasn't feeling very brave. Duo and Fai had confessed to being scared of Name's power, but Wufei felt that he was the only one who had a good reason to be scared of her. Duo had kept secrets from Heero, but any rage Name could have possibly felt at his actions had, obviously, vanished when he had almost died in the hospital and he had told her the truth. She had absolutely no reason to not like Fai, but after what he had said to Duo after his confession…

Heero and Duo raced down the steps with Trowa and Quatre following them more sedately, Trowa shaking his head at the younger boys' actions. They caught Name in the hallway, her back to them as she talked to someone that they couldn't see. She turned and raised an eyebrow at them.

“I'm sorry, were you raised in a barn?” she scolded Heero.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Oh, really? And what if Duo had fallen on the steps? Did you think of that?” she prodded. Trowa smirked. Name, like any good mother, had correctly pinpointed Duo as Heero's one true weakness and wasn't afraid to stab at it.

“But, it wasn't Heero's fault that I was running,” Duo protested. After his surgery, he wasn't very confident about his side. He didn't know if it was primarily a psychological reaction to the injury, or the surgery had made him physically unbalanced, but he was clumsier than he had been and as a result, Name always ended up worried about him falling. He hated that she had to worry about stuff like that, just like how he hated that he was weak to begin with.

“Just don't run up and down the steps anymore, ok? Save me a heart attack,” she pleaded.

Movement behind her gained their attentions and a tall woman, looking about Name's age or a bit younger, stepped around her. Despite her height and her darker features, with her short, dark blonde hair, pale skin, and dark blue eyes, Duo realized who she was right away.

“Iria!” Quatre exclaimed, hugging the older woman tightly. She eagerly hugged him back.

“Quatre,” she breathed, “It's been awhile,” she pulled him off of her to get a good look at him.

“You look well,” she smiled, “Much better than the last time we saw each other.”

From behind Duo, Trowa shifted nervously. This was the first time he had met any of Quatre's family and he wondered how she would receive him. What if she hated him and alienated Quatre because of it? He wasn't worried that Quatre would break their relationship because of it, but he never wanted to be the one to cause Quatre pain. He suddenly felt very alone and fought the urge to grab on to Duo's braid or shirt, the one person who he could relate to, who wouldn't condemn him, but wasn't he supposed to be the one protecting Duo? Then again, they could protect each other, right? He just wanted to grab Quatre and demand to know that things would never change between them.

“It's wonderful to see you!” Quatre said, and how happy he sounded at seeing his sister made Trowa feel ashamed, “I thought I would have to go back home just to see you!”

“And you won't come home?” Iria asked sadly.

“Not unless Father is willing to see reason,” Quatre said coldly, his statement more a question. Iria shook her head.

“Father and I haven't seen eye to eye since I helped you leave. My only consolation is the knowledge that you are happy. You are happy, aren't you?” she asked hopefully.

Quatre nodded.

“You know I am. I always say so in my letters. It's a good thing you don't live in the main house with Father or we would never be able to communicate,” he said.

“No,” Iria said with a shake of her head, her short, wavy, dark blonde hair brushing against her fair cheeks, “I don't think Father would keep us from speaking. You may have not seen him in awhile, but you remember how impossible it is to hide anything from him. He probably knows we are writing to each other at the very least. Now, who is who?” her intelligent, navy eyes moved from boy to boy, finally falling on Heero and Duo.

“You must be Duo and Heero,” she shook their hands respectively.

“That's right. It's nice to meet you,” Duo said politely, “Thanks for offering to take the kittens.”

“No problem,” Iria assured him, “Quatre has told me about your hardships, but also how kind you have been to him and how accepting you are of his relationship.”

Duo and Quatre simultaneously blushed.

“I'm sorry,” Quatre apologized.

“It's ok,” Duo assured him, “She's your sister, so I trust her. What happened to me happened, maybe it's a good thing if I stop hiding it from everyone. It doesn't help, pretending those things never happened, it never has. It only makes me feel more ashamed.”

“Quatre's right, you are far too mature for your age,” Iria said sadly. Duo bit off his protests at that, knowing that it was true. Everything he had seen and learned during his childhood had destroyed any chance he could have had at maintaining his ignorance, optimism, and naïveté. Iria looked at Trowa and smiled brightly.

“And you must be Trowa. I've wanted to meet you ever since Quatre told me he had fallen in love,” she confessed.

Trowa blushed, something that happened so rarely, Quatre stared at him in astonishment.

“Thank you for helping Quatre leave. If it hadn't been for your help, he would have been miserable and we never would have ended up together,” Trowa said in a clipped tone, “But I would be a fool if I assumed that that meant you approved of our relationship, or of me.”

“And if I said I didn't approve?” Iria asked in amusement.

“I would say that I love your brother very much, just as much now as when he felt the need to run away from home. I would be sad if you couldn't accept me as his boyfriend, because that would hurt Quatre. But, in reality, it wouldn't change anything for me. Regardless of his family situation, I love Quatre and that isn't going to change,” Trowa put a hand on Quatre's shoulder and the blonde looked up at him with adoration and love.

“Trowa…” he murmured, “I love you, too. Even if my entire family hates you and me for loving you, I will always choose you over them, even if it costs my sisters and father, and my inheritance. I want to be your boyfriend; you gave me strength to stand up for myself. That's more important to me than `being a good son'. Because of you… I finally feel proud of myself. I'm not just the Winner Heir; I'm someone who believes in his life, and his feelings.”

Iria ruffled her little brother's golden hair, which Quatre bore with an annoyed expression.

“Well said,” she said with respect, “And you're right. I would have helped Quatre whether or not I approved of his choices, because I knew that the best thing for him was to leave. However, I'm willing to accept him for who he is. That's why I agreed to come here. I wanted to see if Quatre was really happy, if his choices are the right ones, if Father's prejudices were correct or not. I can't say I disapprove of homosexuals, but this is my baby brother, so I had to know…”

“And what have you found out?” Quatre asked, “You never said you disapproved, I know you don't, and can't you see that Father is wrong? My love for Trowa is not a sin. You have always been a great source of support for me. Please, don't take that away from me.”

Iria matched his annoyed look.

“Of course I won't, silly boy,” she scolded, “I came here to meet your boyfriend and to be sure you're being taken care of, not to force you to sever all ties to your family. Trowa is lovely and I can tell he is in love with you, too. I only wish I could make Father see that this is the true path for you. It makes you happy, and right now, in your youth, that is the most important thing. There will be plenty of time to fight over the future of Winner Enterprises when you are older.”

Quatre smiled gratefully at her. At this point in his life, he wasn't even sure that he wanted to take over the family business. It was his duty, a position any sane person would be chomping at the bit to have. It would give him power, wealth, and respect. Besides, it was something he would be good at, given his intelligence and training in business and negotiation at such a young age. These were things that he had been told over and over again by his father, sisters, teachers, and advisors, but they weren't good enough reasons for him, they never had been. He was positive he would be great at the job, but to take it would mean he would have to adhere to the hundreds of bylaws, which stated that he had to produce an heir, which meant he had to marry, or surrender the position to the next male in line, which was no one. Trowa would either be forbidden to be near him or treated like his concubine. Even if he rewrote the laws his ancestors had written, Trowa would still be hated by his family and employees. He didn't want to live that way and he especially didn't want Trowa to live like that. But, if he didn't take up after his father, who else could? Still, his father was healthy and cautious; it was like his sister said he had a good long while before he had to worry about it.

“Thank you, Iria, for accepting my choices,” he said. Trowa nodded his agreement.

“It means a lot to Quatre, so it means a lot to me,” the Italian said.

Name watched all of this with a soft smile. She was glad that Quatre had at least someone from his family to talk to. When she had met the woman on her doorstep, she had worried about the sort of turmoil she would cause, but it seemed like she had had nothing to worry about. Name knew the uncertainties that Quatre had about controlling Winner Enterprises. She had never agreed with his father's personal ideals and practices, even though their companies had contracts together. She was just glad that her own company had no such rules about who should lead it. Traditionally, it had always been, until her, the oldest male child, but ultimately, it was the current owner's decision. Secretly, Name had always hoped that Heero would decide to decline. She loved her son and she knew that he would be miserable at the job. With his temper and quick to impatience, he was ill-suited to negotiations and meetings. At least Quatre was good at it. Besides, now that Duo was a part of the family, she hoped that Heero would choose a less stressful future, and a less time consuming one.

Name finally noticed Fai standing next to Wufei, watching all of this with curiosity and anxiety. She walked up to him, gaining his attention and stretched out her hand to shake his.

“You must be Fai. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Name Yuy, but please just call me Name. The only people who call me Mrs. Yuy are the people I do business with and people I don't like. I don't think I'm going to dislike you,” she said cheerfully. Fai stared at her with wide eyes, unable to believe the powerful woman was being so… casual with him.

“It's a pleasure,” he said hesitantly. The Head of Yuy Corporation was being nicer to him than his own mother had ever been. Name's black eyes fell on Wufei and he felt a chill go down his spine.

“Mrs. Yuy,” he murmured. She had made it abundantly clear the last time they had spoken that she certainly didn't like him. She smirked at him.

“Wufei, I chewed you out once, there's no need for me to do it a second time unless you're too stubborn or too stupid to learn from your mistakes. Are you?” she asked in a piercing tone. Wufei shook his head quickly.

“I didn't think so. According to Heero and Duo, you've changed considerably and have been a good friend to them. So, I see no reason for us to be cold to each other. Do you understand?” she said, giving him an amused look.

She meant what she said. Name didn't regret what she had said to him in the hospital, though she knew that she had been harsh to the boy. What he had said to Duo, during a very bad point in Duo's life, had been much worse. However, Duo had confessed that Wufei had profusely apologized to him for it several times and he had forgiven him, so why should she still hold a grudge? Duo didn't often get angry, or want revenge, but he also didn't forgive someone unless he was being completely sincere in his forgiveness.

“Yes, Name,” Wufei replied, feeling weird about calling her by her first name. He felt like he was disrespecting someone that definitely deserved to be respected. It seemed so backwards, he had been taught that calling someone, especially an adult, by their first name was shameful, but she had told him to call her `Name', so wouldn't he be disrespecting her by calling her by her surname?

“Good,” as Name turned to Duo, Wufei and Fai were shocked at how soft and affectionate her tone became, “Duo, honey, why don't you show Iria to the kittens so she can be on her way? We're going to have a turkey pot pie today since it's a bit cold out still. I've already made the crust and some of the gravy, but you can help me with the rest when you're done so we can eat soon.”

Duo nodded eagerly.

“Okay,” he said brightly, leading them all down the hall. Name ruffled his hair in passing as she went into the kitchen, but Wufei realized that Duo wasn't annoyed by it, it actually seemed to make him happier.

`She really is Duo's mother,' Wufei thought in shock. He knew that Duo respected Name a great deal for taking him in, but the violet-eyed boy actually loved her, and even more shocking, Name loved him, too. Iria seemed to see it, too, and watched Duo with a mix of fondness and amusement as they went into Name's room.

“Oh, they're darling!” she exclaimed as she kneeled down by the basket. Patches seemed irritated by the constant flow of strangers, but when she saw Duo amongst them, she settled down, realizing that they were safe. Duo stopped walking towards the cats as he felt Wufei tug on his shirt.

“I've been meaning to ask,” Wufei whispered so no one else could hear, “Can I keep one of the kittens?” he asked shyly, blushing. Duo gave him a knowing smile. He had seen the way his friend had looked at Fai earlier, when he had been playing with the calico. He knew exactly which kitten Wufei wanted and his heart warmed at the sweet gesture. This was what he wanted, someone who cared about him enough to catch little things, like Fai's affection for the kitten. It was such a small thing, a small moment, but Wufei had picked up on it immediately. He nodded to him and Wufei relaxed.

“Are there only four?” Iria asked, “Quatre mentioned seven.”

Fai opened his mouth to mention the kitten he had left upstairs, though he, selfishly, didn't want to, but Duo interrupted him.

“We found homes for three of them, so it's just the four,” Duo told her. Fai looked at him in confusion.

“You know someone who will take good care of them, right?” Duo asked nervously.

“Don't worry,” the tall blonde assured him, “I… can't have any children, nor do I wish to marry just for the company. However, my place is large, I have the money to take care of all of them, and I love cats. I'm lonely all alone in my home and I'm sure I can take care of only the four.”

Duo let go of his fears that the babies might be abandoned, neglected, or abused. Iria seemed so nice and she was eager to take them. Besides, Quatre vouched for her and he trusted Quatre. He knelt down to stroke Patches' ears.

“I'm sorry, Patches, but you're going to have to say goodbye to them and it looks like you'll be sleeping in my room again. There's no need to separate you from the other cats anymore,” Duo said mournfully. Originally, they had decided to put Patches and the kittens in Name's room to give her space and to keep the other cats from attacking the kittens. However, Patches would be lonely now and Duo missed her.

Patches seemed completely unconcerned by all of this and simply jumped into Duo's lap, purring loudly. With Iria petting any kitten that got within range of her fingers, the kittens didn't seem to care, either, not even crying for their mother. At this stage of their development, the kittens could survive on bottled milk and solid food; they only really needed attention and play, which they got from each other, so they really didn't need their mother anymore.

Iria carefully picked up the basket and walked out of the room, patiently listening to Duo tell her what food they liked and their different personalities. His concern for the kittens was quite endearing, Iria thought. He was a lot like Quatre, kind and a worry-wart, she could see how they got along so well.

“Bye, Name,” she called as she went past the kitchen. Name who was busy chopping carrots and cooking peas, waved at her. Quatre hugged his sister when they got to the door, awkwardly trying not to disturb the basket filled with kittens and toys. Iria vowed to buy them some carriers and blankets before she caught her flight.

“I wish you could stay longer,” Quatre said sadly.

“I know,” she said, hugging him with her free arm, “I'll try to see you soon.”

She said her goodbyes to the other boys and left. Trowa hugged Quatre from behind, feeling his lover's tension.

“You can call her when she lands and I'm sure you'll see her again soon,” Trowa tried to assure him. Quatre nodded half-heartedly.

“Can you take her?” Duo handed Patches to Quatre, hoping that she could cheer the blonde up as he ran to the kitchen to help with dinner. Patches curled up against the short boy's chest, making Quatre smile down at her.

“I'll put her upstairs, why don't you help Duo?” he asked Trowa. Trowa and Heero left them and Wufei, Fai, and Quatre went back to Duo's room.

Quatre let Patches down and Shiva immediately ran over to her sister. Quatre and Fai smiled as the two cats rubbed their heads against each other in greeting. Wufei saw the calico kitten curled up with Sammy on Duo's pillows and picked her up, presenting her to Fai, who was watching him with confusion and surprise.

“Happy anniversary,” Wufei said with a deep blush. Quatre was torn between not wanting to make any noises and leaving to give them some privacy. Fai took the kitten from him with shaky hands, cuddling her to his chest, overwhelmed with emotion.

“'Fei,” he whispered.

“I know,” Wufei said sheepishly, “Our two year anniversary isn't for three more weeks, but you'll be in China. I wanted to give you something special, but I don't have any money and I know you like cats and plants more than jewelry… I know you are still mad at me, but I didn't want you to leave without some sort of reminder of how much I love you-,”

Fai silenced his lover's ramblings with a passionate kiss. Quatre quickly looked away. The kitten looked back and forth between the two boys, mewing in confusion.

“Hush,” Fai ordered when they parted, “I know how much you love me, just because you've stuck by me for two years, and I love my present. I just wish I had a present for you…”

“That you've decided not to break up with me after what I did is enough,” Wufei mused. Quatre discreetly snuck out the door, blushing. Did he and Trowa look like that so close and brimming with love? At least, since they were in Duo's room, they wouldn't do anything…

Sure enough, as Quatre got to the kitchen, he heard the two of them come down the stairs after them. The pie was already in the oven and Duo was looking after the peas, which were his favorite vegetables.

“Fai, are there any vegetables you like?” Name asked as Trowa and Heero finished setting the table.

“Anything you make, I'll eat,” he told her.

“Well, we have peas and carrots, plus the pie, mashed potatoes, and homemade rolls. We also have milk, water, soda, or tea. I think you'd want the green tea, unless I'm mistaken,” she asked.

Fai nodded eagerly.

“It's not… store bought, is it?” he asked suspiciously. Name chuckled.

“No. I hate American tea. This is made from leaves I brought from Japan,” she told him, “American tea, at least the store stuff, is little more than tea-flavored juice. I'll pour you, Quatre, and Wufei some. I know Duo, Trowa, and Heero will want milk.”

Fai sighed in relief. Finally, real tea! By the time all the drinks had been poured, the pie was ready and Name filled all their plates. Name gave Duo an odd look, which Fai struggled to decipher. Duo nodded and Name gave him more than the others, though Fai couldn't figure out why. He greatly preferred this sort of meal to the take out they had had yesterday. Everything was homemade, looking, smelling, and tasting delicious. Even though he had never had turkey pot pie before, he liked it a lot more than the pizza.

“Your father called me yesterday,”” Name told Wufei as they ate, “He told me about your and Fai's situation.”

Wufei groaned in embarrassment. His parents were just as stubborn as he was, unable to accept anything, but to call Name about it.

“Don't be angry at him,” she soothed, “He just wants to see the two of you happy. Now, let me work this out. You have two problems. The two of you want to hear from each other and see each other more often, but Fai's father doesn't want him to have anything to do with Wufei. So, in order to solve these problems, Fai needs to find a way to get away from his father, or at least hide his actions, and he needs money to pay for plane tickets, is that right?”

Wufei and Fai nodded.

“It's hard enough to hide from my father,” Fai admitted, “The only time I can do that is when I'm working or he's working. I work in meat and packing plants, so I can't get away to call `Fei, even if I had access to a phone, which I don't. We are not allowed to use the phones, especially not long distance, and I have no money for a cell phone. I had to wait for time off during my father's working hours just to come here, but now I will be in trouble for it. It will be hard to get away again and getting enough money to come here on its own is hard.”

“It's probably premature, but I think I have a viable solution,” Name offered. Fai and Wufei stared at her, Duo smiling and Heero snorted, both thinking the same thing, that Name was incredible with finding solutions. She had solved so many of Duo's problems; she just seemed to have a gift for it.

“How?” Wufei demanded eagerly. He would do anything to communicate with Fai, to see him more often.

“You can get a job at National Star Shipping. I know your town has a plant there. My company owns them and I'm friends with the manager. You can write Wufei letters and give them to him. They also pay very well and I can pay for the rest. Your father will just think you've gotten another job. As long as you pay for the ticket yourself and go when he's working, there's little he can do to stop you. If he makes too much trouble for you, just tell the manager and he'll help you. He owes me.”

“But… why would you do so much to help us?” Fai whispered, tears in his eyes. Underneath the table, his hand gripped Wufei's.

“It isn't so much,” Name said kindly, “It is simply something I can do to help. Yuy Corporation makes the airplanes that both America and China uses, so getting tickets are easy. If something so small makes you happy…well, if I didn't try to help, I wouldn't be a very nice person, would I?”

A few tears escaped Fai's amber eyes.

“See? I told you she's a good person,” Duo whispered to him. Wufei stood and bowed to Name.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely, “I've hurt someone you love, but you're still so kind to me…”

“Sit down, Wufei,” Name said softly, looking fondly at Duo, “I helped Duo because he needed me and he was in trouble. In turn, he's shown me how important these little things are, that even though it isn't a huge thing for me, I can make a world of difference.”

Duo blushed at her words. He had really made her realize such a thing?

`I'll never be able to repay her, any of them,' Fai realized, digging into his meal to hide his blush. Suddenly, Duo's expression lightened, an idea coming to him.

“Hey, maybe when you're old enough, you can get a green card and get a place with Wufei,” Duo told Fai, “You're smart and your English is great, so it should be easy for you. You guys don't care where you live as long as you're together, right? America isn't perfect, but you two probably have more freedom here. You could start fresh here, or somewhere else where no one could hate you for your relationship, though it's easier to immigrate here…”

Fai beamed at Duo.

“I would love to live here, to be with `Fei and all of you…” he exclaimed.

“Even if you had to leave your family behind?” Quatre asked, thinking of his own situation. Fai nodded sadly.

“I'm the youngest of four boys,” he told them, “My family is lower class and we do not have much money, so I am more a burden than anything else for my parents. My father is strict. He hates that I am smaller than my brothers, that I am more interested in reading and gardening than construction, sports, or marrying into a wealthy family. My mother calls me stupid and foolish because I am not strong willed and ambitious like my brothers. My brothers bully me because I am not physically strong and I choose to wear my hair long, because I look too feminine to them. My father keeps me from seeing Wufei, not because he cares for me, but because he's ashamed of me. Maybe I will miss them, but not nearly as much as I miss Wufei. He and his family have treated me better than my own family ever has.”

Everyone looked at him sadly. None of them had ever been treated like that by a family member. The only one that came close was Trowa's uncle raping him. Heero had been treated coldly by his Uncle Mizu, but he saw him so rarely, it didn't really matter to him. As Name's only child, he had been doted on by grandparents on both sides, and especially his parents. Wes, though the only authoritative person in Duo's childhood, no one but Duo would ever consider his father.

Trowa, despite being abused by his uncle and having no parents, was greatly loved by Catherine, his older sister. After witnessing the death of their parents, Catherine had become overprotective of Trowa, not wanting to lose what tiny family she had left. They had been poor, living out of a circus trailer, but Catherine had tried to give her baby brother everything he needed. After getting him back from their uncle and finding out what had happened to him, she had become even more protective to the point that Quatre had had a hard time proving his intentions to her.

Quatre had come fairly close to neglect in his childhood, but it hadn't been because his family hadn't liked him. With his father constantly busy and most of his sisters old enough to work for him, Quatre had been looked after by maids and teachers and had hardly ever seen his sisters or father. Truthfully, he had grown up lonely but, he thought that they all had, in their own way, been alienated from normalcy. Wufei from his culture, Trowa from kids his age, and, maybe, even his own sexuality until he had met Quatre, Quatre from his family, Heero from the entire normal world and eventually, alienated from a father's presence, then finally, Duo… Duo had been alienated from people, from communication and affection, from all the good things Quatre could think of.

They finished their meal in silence, thinking of their childhoods and the trials they had faced or, in Duo's case, trying not to think of those things. As they cleared the table, Duo approached Fai.

“If you're serious about getting a green card, there are some books you can borrow,” Duo suggested, “If not, there are still some books I have that I think you'd be interested in.”

“Alright,” Fai smiled at him, “I'd love to.”

“I have to feed my kitten anyway,” Duo said, already getting out Shei's milk and food.

“Kitten?” Fai asked. He hadn't seen a kitten when they had been upstairs.

“I decided to keep one of Patches' kittens, but Shei is a… special case,” Duo told him.

“I'd like to meet her,” Fai said eagerly.

They went back to Duo's room, Duo placing the two bowls on the floor and he knelt to look under his bed.

“She was the runt of the litter, so until she can defend herself, I have to feed her separately or the adult cats will eat her food. She's outgoing, but she also likes to hide in dark places,” Duo made a small whistling noise, “C'mon, Shei, dinner time!” he called.

A tiny black kitten darted out from under the bed and dove into Duo's hand, mewing loudly. Wufei and Fai were both shocked at the gangly, limping creature, though her black fur looked well maintained.

“Good girl,” Duo praised her, gently placing her in front of the bowls. The kitten eagerly dug into her meal, a day of play stalking under the human's bed making her hungry. Duo, after making sure that Shei was eating, he went to the bookcase and took out a few books.

“Your English is already impeccable,” Duo said to Fai, “but I have some books on English grammar you might like.”

Fai took the books from him.

“But why do you have these?” the amber-eyed boy asked.

“I grew up with little education,” Duo explained, “I had to teach myself most of what I know, including proper English, instead of slang, so there're things I've missed because I never had books teaching me how to do those things. You can give them back to me when you visit again,” Duo said slyly. Fai bit back a smirk at Duo's insinuation that he hoped Fai would be back.

“I'm sure you'll be back soon,” Duo murmured, almost to himself. Fai silently agreed with him. The only thing keeping him from coming back was money; otherwise, he would come every month, every week.

Wufei kept his eye on the tiny kitten, watching her weak leg and moon-colored eye.

“What's wrong with her?” he suddenly asked.

“Her leg muscles were underdeveloped, but all her playing, plus the medicine we give her, is strengthening it. We all thought her eye was blind, but it turns out she has a pigment mutation similar to mine, so, it's just a different color. Her vet says that she should be much healthier when she hits four to five months,” Duo explained, feeling proud at Shei's improvement.

“But… why?” Wufei asked in confusion, “You had your pick of six healthy kittens, why would you pick the smallest and weakest of all of them?”

Duo's expression turned cold and haunted.

“It isn't about the `best' kitten, it's about which one needed me the most,” he said flatly, almost bitterly. Wufei shook his head.

“I still don't get why you would put your hopes in an animal that might die before it even becomes an adult! They're all babies, so they all need you…”

Duo looked pained by Wufei's words and Fai wanted to smack his boyfriend for his ignorance. Didn't he get that Duo saw himself in the kitten? Duo clearly felt like everyone had given up on him, because he was different, before he had gotten the chance to even live, and that abandonment had hurt him a great deal, so how could he possibly allow for the kitten to go wanting for affection like he had? If he really felt that way, it was no wonder why Duo loved Name so much, the one person who had given him a chance. Fai put a hand on Duo's arm.

“I get it,” Fai told Duo, “No one gets left behind.”

Duo's deep violet eyes widened and pain struck at his heart. No one gets left behind… he had been left behind his entire life. No one cared, no one loved him. Abandoned, neglected, unloved… and yet, Name and Heero had understood, they had seen him, and now this boy, who he had only known for a few days, had gotten it, too. He hugged the other longhaired boy, startling Fai, but Fai seemed to understand this affection and gratitude, too, and hugged him back.

“I'm glad `Fei has you for a boyfriend,” Duo murmured, “and I'm glad that I had the opportunity to meet you and be your friend. You're good for him and I don't care what your parents say, you're nice and kind and smart, that matters more than ambition or obedience.”

Fai was shocked by Duo's words. Having lived most of his life with little or no friends at all, he understood what Duo was trying to say to him. Duo, like Fai, had never had many friends. In fact, he often looked at the small group of boys with wonder, making Fai consider that they might be Duo's first, real friends. Duo was saying that though friendship was rare to him, he considered his companionship with Wufei, Quatre, Trowa, and Heero special, not because he was lonely, but because they were people he respected. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Duo had so few friends, because he couldn't be so close to anyone unless he trusted them and found them to be good people. But… Duo had just said that they were friends…

Fai was nothing special; he had always known that about himself. It still shocked him that Wufei had found things in him to love when he couldn't see anything at all. It was easy to understand Duo, though the violet-eyed boy had seemed impressed with it. Even without Wufei telling him so, and knowing everything about Duo's past, Fai knew that the two of them were similar. They had both come from poor families and backgrounds, had lived isolated childhoods, and were still terribly lonely because of it. But, Duo was saying that it was more than that, he had called him kind. Such praise was alien to him, like friendship itself, and he found himself struggling to understand it, why someone like Duo could possibly want him for a friend.

“Are… are we really friends?” he asked in a small voice. Duo let go of him, looking him in the eye.

“Of course you are!” Quatre scolded before Duo could say anything, “It's like Duo said. Sure, you're Wufei's boyfriend, so it would be awkward for us to not accept you, but you're easy to get along with. You're a good person; you're certainly good for Wufei, so why wouldn't we consider you a friend?”

“I'm not-,” Fai started to protest.

“You're wonderful,” Wufei corrected, “You think that I love you just because you're pretty and were available at the time? You know I'm not like that!”

Quatre and Trowa pointedly looked at Duo with smirks of irony.

“That was different!” Wufei snapped at them catching their exchange, “Duo's definitely right,” he told Fai, “You're smart. You got why Duo was upset long before I did and you barely know him. It's no wonder why everyone says you're good for me. This isn't the first time I've said something insensitive and hurt him, but you know exactly what to say, you understood him. You know that I'm stubborn and have a temper, but you're so kind and mellow, you even me out. You're so patient with me… how could I not love you?”

“You're welcome back here,” Heero spoke up in agreement, “Even if you aren't with Wufei anymore, you're still our friend and so you'll always have a place here.”

“T-thank you,” Fai stammered. Wufei nudged him.

“It's getting late,” he pointed out. Fai nodded and bowed to Heero, who blushed at the formal show of thanks.

“Thank you for your hospitality… and your friendship,” Fai said.

“It's no big deal,” Heero said in embarrassment. The only other person who had thanked him so sincerely… was Duo. He had been bowed at before, but because he was a Yuy, not because he was friends with someone.

“Do you two need a ride back home?” he asked.

“I'll just call my parents when we go outside. They both should be back from work by now,” Wufei told him. Fai picked up his kitten, that had jumped from the bed where Fai had put her when she had seen Shei and the pair of them had been playfully wrestling with each other.

“Tomorrow is the start of the weekend, isn't it?” Fai asked shyly. Back home, they had classes Saturday, but Wufei had told him that Friday's, after classes were over, were considered the start of the weekend in America and he didn't have any school on Saturday and Sunday.

“Yes,” Quatre said with a grin, “and only Duo has plans.”

“I have to work tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday night,” the American said. His words sounded like they would be spoken with a groan, but Fai noted that he actually sounded happy about working. He wondered where the other boy worked, since all of Fai's jobs were nothing to be happy about. He kept miserable hours in places that often were very cold or very hot and felt very stressful.

“We can go to the movies Saturday before Duo goes to work,” Wufei suggested to Fai, who seemed excited by the idea of going to an American movie theater. Sure, they had a small one back home, but he never had the money to go and the best movies came from America, so he wanted to see what it was like.

“But you're going back Monday morning, right?” Duo asked, “I don't want to eat into your time with Wufei.”

“Its fine,” Fai assured him, “I want to see more of the town while I can and I can spend the evenings with Wufei.”

“I'll look up movies tonight,” Trowa told them, “Then Wufei and you can decide tomorrow.”

Plans made, the two Chinese boys said their goodbyes to the boys and Heero's mother, who wrote down the name of the NSS plant and the owner's name for Fai. Outside, though Name had been right that the air was a little chilly, the beginning of spring air was vastly different from the winter they had just had. To Wufei, who disliked the cold, it was a relief. It was March and he wondered what spring would be like in Maine. According to Duo, it was beautiful, but the weather got hot very quickly and summers were hell with tourists. He had warned him that their own town had their fair share. While they didn't have a beach, they were still very close to one and they got a lot of business because of the parks and forests.

Wufei quickly called his parents and reveled in the cool air of the evening, the street which the Yuy's lived was quiet, the street lamps shining softly, giving him a great view of the stars in the cloudless sky above them. Next to him as they stood in the Yuy's driveway, Fai was smiling, lost in his own thoughts. He now had five friends. That number seemed so huge to him, and unbelievable. Wufei was the only person in his life that he could ever call his friend and now, because of him, he had so many! He couldn't help but feel incredibly happy about that, and Heero had said that he was always welcome in his home, him, not just `Wufei's boyfriend'.

“Do you think that they were telling me the truth?” he asked his lover, “Am I really their friend, with or without you?”

Wufei smiled at him.

“You can trust Duo. You can especially trust Heero, since he seldom speaks about stuff like that lately. He seldom speaks at all lately, actually. Hopefully… well, you can trust both of them. If they say that you're their friend, then you are. I think all of us are hesitant about making friends. Until Heero met Duo, he only had Quatre and Trowa. It's odd, but Duo seems kind of like a magnet when you look at us as a group. He met Heero, who brought Trowa and Quatre in as friends. I'm still not sure exactly why they let me be friends with them, but Duo was the one who caught my attention to begin with. For someone who acts so shy and closed off most of the time, Duo's actually quite good at making and keeping friends. Anyone who can befriend Yuy so quickly and strongly without getting sniped at has to be good at it,” Wufei mused.

He supposed that that wasn't a very fair assessment on both accounts. He knew that Heero had been the one to make the first step towards Duo, but Trowa and Quatre weren't the type to be friends with him just because Heero was. Heero had only become so… emotional over the last few weeks, after that damned trip, but there had always been an edge to him, a quickness to anger that only his mother or Duo had been able to quell. So, he supposed that maybe it was fair to assume Duo had to be something special to get Heero to be so connected to him.

Fai looked up at the sky. He wondered if the sky was so clear back home. Probably not. When he had left, it had been raining for days, not to mention freezing. According to Duo, who had experience with these things after spending his entire life in this town, it was going to be sweltering hot tomorrow. He had said he could `feel it in my bones' and didn't need a forecast to tell him otherwise. Fai wondered at how anyone could predict the weather in such a way, but took his word for it. His smile grew, thinking of Duo and the others, but his smile quickly faded into a more morose look. He really, really wasn't looking forward to Monday. He didn't want to leave. That had been the truth the second he had arrived here, but that feeling of desperation and hopelessness was even stronger now. He had so much to look forward to, not just seeing Wufei, but the fact that he had friends here, too. If he had the courage, he would have asked Wufei's parents if he could stay here forever. What was waiting for him in China besides more loneliness and people who simply didn't care about him? But he couldn't ask them for such a thing, and if he did, he would still be an illegal immigrant.

Fai shook his head at himself. Down the street, Wufei recognized his parents' car pulling up. Fai resolved that he would keep Monday out of his mind, as though such a concept as the end to a weekend couldn't possibly exist, it was just a nightmare, a figment of his imagination. He wanted to enjoy what time he had left with WuFei.

 

*****

 

As he opened his eyes, waking from a muffled sleep, Duo groaned. He hated being right sometimes. Well, most of the time, since his opinions were mostly pessimistic in nature. It was Friday night and his prediction that it would be hot out had turned out right. It was only the middle of March, but it had reached 89 degrees today, which meant that this summer was going to be long and torturous. Just his luck. He hated summer, always had, even as a child. He had a very low tolerance for heat and had a hard time sleeping in it. He was actually looking forward to tomorrow because the day would be spent in a cold movie theater and the night, at work, which was also cool, especially out back.

Duo nearly jolted out of bed at a loud whirring sound that he couldn't quite place. Suddenly, the temperature in his room dropped several degrees and he blinked in the near darkness. What the hell was that? He sat up and looked around; trying to place where the noise and coolness was coming from, but he didn't have any fans. He hadn't had the chance to ask Name if she had any he could borrow. Though he hated the heat, he was used to it. Wes' apartment had been small and since their next door neighbor had been a poorly ventilated Chinese restaurant, they had gotten most of the heat from their kitchen, making the place absolutely unbearable in the summer. It had actually been cooler outside at times, in the sun, instead of in the apartment. They had only had one fan, too, which Wes had put in his bedroom or the kitchen. They had, obviously, been too poor to afford what all the other houses had and Wes was far too cheap to buy… air conditioning. That's what this was; Name had put on the air conditioning!

He lay back down and closed his eyes in bliss. So this was what air conditioning was? It was really, really nice. He could get used to this, he thought happily. He wondered what other secrets this house had. Of course, he knew that he shouldn't be so excited about it. Almost all houses now had air conditioning, but he had never experienced for his own home before. If they kept it on during the summer, Duo thought that he wouldn't hate the season so much. In the past, the heat had only been a part of it. Summer back then had meant no school, which meant he had to whore himself all the time. During that time… he felt like he was in an endless loop of blackness, taking just one job after another, no rest besides his restless sleep. Those times had been unbearable for him and he had quickly learned to hate summer like he hated every vacation that kids his age normally looked forward to.

But… he didn't have to go through that this year. He didn't have to go through it ever again, for the rest of his life, if he even dared to think of something as scary as the future. The concept that he never had to let some stranger have sex with him ever again was still something that he had a hard time wrapping his head around. He had been living with the Yuy's for months now, and he still couldn't accept that things were so much better. He knew that, of course, but he had been living in fear and depression for so long, he had a hard time shaking off those dark feelings. He wrapped his star-covered blanket around himself tightly. He didn't want to think of these things, he was still trying so hard not to think of them because they hurt, they would probably always hurt. He wanted to solidly separate himself from his past forever, never wanting to admit that the scared little boy who had let himself be whored out, abused, and neglected for so long had been him. But… he couldn't escape the truth that he was, now and forever, that person.

Duo closed his eyes tightly, as though he could block out such thoughts that way. Heero… he had fought so hard to keep him, but the other boy was slipping away from him. When Heero had found out about him and Zechs, and he had run away from school because of it, he would have given anything, anything at all, just to be friends with him again. Was he really letting Chris take that away from him? Hadn't he found Heero again, and weren't things good in his life for once? So why did something like this have to happen? Why couldn't he ever be happy? Was it really a case that his past wouldn't let him go, that people like Relena, Zechs, Wes, and Chris would never leave him alone? Or was Wufei right, was he really his own worst enemy, too afraid of happiness to reach for it? Was he so scared of his guilt and the possibility that he could possibly get what he wanted that he was pushing Heero away when he could just apologize and mend things between them? That wouldn't make Heero safe again, but no matter what he did, he couldn't make Heero safe, so what was the point of avoiding him?

It hurt too much. He and Heero had been so close… they still were, really. He couldn't destroy that feeling of dependency and closeness just because they weren't talking to each other. Was Heero even really mad at him, or were his problems only in his head? Heero had been his entire world not too long ago. He had been his dreams, his strength… he had been there for him in the hospital, when he had been trying so hard to recover his mind and his body. He had always been there for him, no matter how stupid and stubborn Duo had been. Even if Heero was pissed at him, shouldn't he still try to make things right? He didn't want to let go. He wanted to be free, to dream for the first time in his life.

He didn't want Wes to win…

 

… And yet, time and time again, his past had found him. Hadn't that been what Chris had told him when he had kidnapped him? He couldn't escape his past, no matter how hard and how deep he buried it, it always came rising to the surface. Even now, he hated Wes so much… yet he didn't. He loved him because he had been with him for so long, they were just so entangled with each other… yet he couldn't stand the man for what he had done to him. He had chained him up in the dark, had turned him into something less than human and he was still chasing after that humanity, just starting to win it back again. So… why did it have to be this way? Why did he have to keep forcing himself not to think of the bastard?

 

 

 

 

End Part 18