Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Road to Kindness ❯ Surgery part 17 ( Chapter 24 )

The Road to Kindness

Chapter 7

Part 17

 

After the death of his father, Heero's mother had always been a bit… protective. It was the reason why she had seemed so cold to Duo at first, not wanting her child to be friends with anyone who might betray him or use Heero for their own benefits, but after what had happened in Boston, she had gotten worse. After Duo and Heero had been kidnapped, she had realized the full extent of the sort of people that wanted to harm Duo and wasn't letting them have another chance to get at them. She hadn't gone near the unbearable stage yet, but Heero didn't dare to go anywhere unannounced, lest he suffer her wrath. Even though he was just driving to the library, he called her and informed her of where they were going. The rebel of the past that still lingered in him hoped that she would grow out of this phase soon, he hated calling in like a little kid.

They didn't stay at the library very long, just enough to show Fai around and get Duo his book, since Wufei confessed he had to pick up a pizza for dinner before he went back home. Fai instantly fell in love with the place, though. He was terrible at sports and things of that nature, but he had always loved reading. The library back home had a rule that you could only take out three books at a time, but here, in this huge, two story building, you could take out as many as you wanted! They even had study corners and couches so you could read right in the building. Duo caught Fai's amazed look as Wufei led them around the library and smiled at him.

“When I was younger, whenever it was cold out or raining, I'd spend as much time as I could in here. Even later on, if I ever just wanted to be somewhere… quiet, I knew I could come here and be left alone for awhile. When I learned how to read, the time I spent here grew and grew. All the librarians would look at me oddly, this little kid, all by himself, reading anything he could get his hands on, but this was the only place I could get books for free and I loved to read, so I came here all the time,” Duo told them. Behind him, unknown to Duo, but seen by everyone else, Heero smiled fondly at the image of a little Duo sitting on one of the plush couches with a pile of books that was bigger than he was.

“Just like Matilda!” Quatre said brightly.

“Ma… what?” Duo asked in confusion. Heero and Quatre looked at him incredulously for a moment, unable to believe that he didn't know what `Matilda' was, especially since he was American and they both knew that those sort of books were popular among American children now a days. They quickly came to their senses, realizing with sadness that it was just one of many normal things Duo had never known.

“It's a children's book about this little girl named Matilda who's neglected by her parents, but she's absolutely brilliant, so she walks to the library all by herself, day after day, and reads all these really advanced books. You're just like that,” Quatre clarified. Duo rubbed at the back of his head in embarrassment.

“Well, I wouldn't say the books I read were really advanced, I just liked to read, and it helped me to practice,” Duo murmured. Wufei snorted.

“I think it's extraordinary, no matter what you read. After all, you taught yourself how to read, without any teachers or anything like that, just by trying. That's pretty incredible, Duo,” he pointed out. Fai looked from Duo to Wufei, curious and confused. He couldn't imagine what circumstances in Duo's life had forced him to have to teach himself to be literate, but it must have been hard and it was hard to believe Duo was so well-spoken and well-read if he had had to do everything by himself. Still, he couldn't help but want to know why and how his life had led him to that method, but his manners kept him from saying anything.

“Well, I should probably order the pizzas now,” Wufei said, looking at his watch, “That way, by the time we get there, they will be ready.”

Duo groaned.

“I could go for some pizza right now, myself. I wonder what we're having for dinner?” he said. He was always hungry again by the time school let out and Name usually had snacks for them at home. He knew that she was at a meeting until later tonight, so he had no idea if she wanted them to pick up food too. He wondered if he could persuade Quatre that pizza would be a good idea, too, though he knew the blonde wasn't a big fan of it.

“Why don't you come over to my house?” Wufei offered, “I could order extra for you and we can hang out for a little while? My parents aren't going to be home until late and none of us have gone over to the other's house before.”

“That sounds like fun,” Fai said in agreement. As much as he wanted to spend some alone time with his lover, it had been, well, never since he had hung out with such a large group of friends, and he was sure that dinner would taste better in such an environment.

“I don't see any problem with that,” Quatre said, excited with the prospect of seeing Wufei's home. He, Trowa, and Heero had known each other since they were kids and they lived with Duo, whose problems had forced all of them to become close to him quickly, but Wufei had always felt a bit distant from them. Every now and then, Quatre could see glimpses of the real person peeking out, a sharp witted quip, his reverence for a blooming flower or a flying bird, his strong sense of justice mixed with a sort of mature bitterness, he could see it in the way he looked at Fai, affection combined with reverence, like he couldn't quite believe his luck.

Wufei was hiding from them. Quatre didn't exactly blame him for that. They all hid, in their own ways. Heero, though staying entangled with his complicated emotions, often denied his feelings, even things that had happened to him in the past by utterly refusing to talk about them. Wufei hid in things that he had once known, his books mostly, trying as hard as he could not to let things change around him. Quatre buried himself in the people around him, trying to live through their emotions while pretending that he was never upset, always cheerful. Trowa was silent, even his expressions lacked any sort of truth, just… blankness. And Duo… Duo, for all of his attempts at honesty was able to tell lies simply by not talking about himself at all. He said he didn't want to hide anymore, but he hardly ever talked about things that bothered him unless he felt it would affect his friends in some way.

They weren't like that all the time. Quatre shuddered to think of how they would be like, and the terrible circumstances that would lead them to act that way, if they were constantly hiding from each other and everything else. He didn't think anyone would want to live that way.

But Duo had, Quatre reminded himself. Not through choice, but Duo had been forced to not think about his circumstances, really think, or be driven insane by them. Or was it that, he had lived in those conditions for so long, he simply considered them normal, something that didn't need much thought? That conclusion was just as painful, even more so.

But, it wasn't like that anymore. They were helping each other, weren't they? Seeing that he wasn't alone in his past, in his experiences, Trowa was starting to open up more. Wufei was starting to let his true self shine through, finally seeing that they would like him, the real him, despite the turmoil he had put Heero and Duo through. For the first time in years, Heero had talked to someone about his father. Duo, though sometimes failing, was at least trying to be more open about what lay underneath, deep in his heart.

Quatre shook his head, surprised that such dark thoughts had snuck on him at such a moment. Or maybe it wasn't so odd. He could say that things were good, that all of the things that had bothered them in the past, the things that had forced them all to hide in the first place were finally, truly behind them, where they belonged, but that was a delusion. Heero and Duo were hiding more than ever, from each other, from the people that they couldn't afford to hide from. He wanted to say that they all had an equal share in Heero and Duo's personal growth, but that really wasn't the case. He wasn't jealous about it, but he could see, as plain as day, that the two of them needed each other more than anything else.

“Well, if we're agreed about this, you should call your mother again,” Trowa urged Heero. Heero simply grunted at him, as though Trowa didn't exist, but he dialed his mother for a second time.

Quatre sighed. He was really getting sick of Heero's attitude towards Trowa. His lover would never show it or admit to it in any way, but Quatre knew that Heero's irritation with him was hurting Trowa. It was hard enough for Quatre, seeing how distant Heero was from them now, but he was being overly hostile towards someone that had once been one of his best friends in the world. Quatre had no idea how he would react if Heero started to act like that with him. He certainly wouldn't take it lying down like Trowa was! This whole thing was just so frustrating…

Duo covertly glanced over at Heero, who had successfully reached his mother again, though he spoke to her in a hushed, annoyed tone. It must be nice, Duo mused, to be the one in charge. He wouldn't know, he had always been the lowest wrung on the ladder, the one stepped on, never the one giving orders, let alone the one deciding which orders would be given. Name obviously was, even though she was currently in an important meeting, she had answered the phone twice and hadn't attempted to rush Heero's message. He knew that, if someone's cell phone rang during class, the phone would be promptly confiscated by the teacher until the end of the day, regardless if the kid answered it or not. Clearly, Name considered Heero's calls more important than business or her image as a corporate boss. Duo wondered if she would treat his own calls with as much importance.

Someone tapped on the back of Duo's shoulder and he tensed, almost painfully. He still had trouble with people touching him, but when people touched him when they were standing behind him, he always ended up freaking out. So, he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit proud that he only tensed and didn't jump or try to punch them in the face. He spun around to see Trowa looking at him in concern and guilt at having forgotten how easily Duo got spooked.

“You just want cheese pizza and root beer, right?” he asked. Duo saw the cell phone in the tall boy's hand and blushed, realizing he was just placing the food order. Across the room, one of the librarians was watching them with a sharp look, making Duo very glad he hadn't yelled when Trowa had tapped him.

“Can I get some garlic bread, too?” he asked shyly. Trowa smiled and nodded.

“I'll get some extra fries so you can have some, too,” he offered.

Duo felt his embarrassment ease at that. His appetite problems had stopped bothering him constantly and had settled into an on, off schedule. He went through his days with either no desire to eat anything, or his appetite came back with a vengeance, making him hungry nearly all day long. Today was the latter. Fortunately, Name seemed to realize the problem, so whenever he had seconds for breakfast, she made him a big lunch. He just hoped this weird… issue would go away soon.

He was no stranger to stomach aches or sickness, but he was tired of it, literally tired of being sick all the time. He was supposed to be doing better now, right? He was well fed, happy, bathed regularly, and aside from Boston, hadn't been struck or fucked half to death in a good, long time, so why was his body still suffering? He supposed that he couldn't complain. The occasional stomach pain, loss of appetite, nightmare, and exhaustion weren't so bad. He had just let hope in and he should have learned by now the fallacy of that. Even if things weren't so bad, nothing was quite as painful as hope. As long as he had Name and Heero in his life, he felt that he didn't have the right to complain about anything.

At least today was looking up. Wufei's boyfriend wasn't pissed at him, he had made a new friend, and his stomach currently wasn't making him question if he had swallowed a couple of razor blades, or how he was going to force himself to eat dinner when he just wanted to curl up into the fetal position until the pains and aches went away. So what if he and Heero still weren't talking? So what if one glance at Wufei and Fai or Trowa and Quatre made him feel terribly lonely? So what if he suddenly felt edgy and anxious for no reason?

“Phone number?” Trowa ordered Wufei, making the `give it here' motion with his fingers. Wufei grunted and gave him the number. Duo caught Heero, finally off the phone, give Trowa a glare, but couldn't understand why Heero would be mad at his friend. For offering him food? Was Heero so pissed at him that he didn't even want their other friends to be nice to him? No, Heero wasn't that cruel and the thing was… as much as he believed that Heero had to blame him, to hate him, beyond not talking to him, Heero didn't seem all that angry at him. At first it had seemed like it, but Heero just seemed… mad, not at him, but at something else. It was so confusing… especially considering what Trowa had told him. He couldn't help but think… what if all of his assumptions were wrong?

 

*****

 

The last time Duo had been in a `normal' house, it had been little more than a decrepit, boarded up structure of rotting wood and he had broken into it to survive a winter night on the streets. As a prostitute, he had been well acquainted with apartments and hotel rooms. Any man who had a house had never wanted to be seen bringing a kid or scantily dressed teenager there and the place he was living in now was too big for him to ever consider it a normal house, but Wufei's definitely was.

It was neat inside and, somehow, Duo had just known that it would be. It lacked the elaborate style of the Yuy's home, as well as the expensive paintings and the roses on the front table, but the lush rugs and mahogany furniture spoke of wealth. Duo wondered if, had he been born into a middle-class family instead of a dumpster, he would have grown up in a house like this. Though everything was very well organized, there was still a deep, welcoming warmth to the place that made him think of his desire for a family growing up.

“You know,” Fai spoke up as they entered the Chang's house, Trowa carrying the pizza's, Wufei carrying the drinks, and the various appetizers in paper white bags divided up between Quatre and Heero, “I've been meaning to ask this, Wufei, why is this house smaller than the one you had in China?”

Duo stared at him. The house seemed plenty big to him, having lived in a two-bedroom apartment most of his life and still not used to the size of his current home.

“Oh, the Chang clan is one of the wealthier families in our homeland. It's not much compared to the Yuy or Winner families, but enough to have quite some power, and as the heir, Wufei was entitled to all of it. Since he denounced his title and left the clan, he didn't get all of it, but he still received a large fraction. That's right, isn't it?” Fai asked Wufei.

“Yes,” Wufei said with a nod, “That was the agreement between my Master and my father. In return for leaving the clan and denouncing my claim as leader, I received half of what I could have had if I had stayed.”

“That doesn't seem fair,” Duo protested, “They just bribed you into exile! And just because you didn't want to marry. But isn't your surname still `Chang'. If you're no longer allowed to be a part of their clan, didn't you have to change your name?”

“No, nothing like that,” Wufei explained patiently. In the past, he would have been angry at Duo's questions, but he now understood that the boy wasn't being willfully ignorant or obnoxious, he had simply never encountered his culture before and was trying to understand.

“In reality, my parents received the better deal. When I stated that I refused to marry and when my sexuality was discovered, I could have staid as the heir, but my clan's reputation would have been dirtied and there would have been many strained feelings. My leaving for America was irrelevant, I would still have been a part of the clan. By loosing my attachments to the clan, I allowed them to save face and replace me while getting an inheritance and safety in return. The name is not important, it will always be mine, but because of this deal, I can never return to the clan or reclaim my title of heir. This is fine, leadership, though tempting, never would have suited me. Leaving the clan and leaving China were two separate actions. I agree with the former and not the latter. I think I was destined to never be leader. I would have done poorly,” Wufei insisted.

Duo snorted.

“I still don't think it's fair that you had to move across the world just because they couldn't accept who you are. I know your culture is different, but it still feels wrong,” he murmured. Wufei gave him an amused look.

“Coming from you, Duo, hearing you describe my situation as unfair is more than just a little depressing,” he said dryly. Duo blushed, worried that he had insulted Wufei, but he still looked more amused than pissed.

“Why is it depressing coming from Duo?” Fai asked in confusion. Quatre, Trowa, Duo, and Wufei shared a look while Heero looked a bit panicked, all unsure of what to say or do.

“It's complicated,” Trowa said with an edge of finality. Fai let the subject drop, but he once again had to battle with his curiosity. It was a little bit hurtful that Wufei couldn't trust him with Duo's secret, but he knew that it wasn't up to his lover.

The strained conversation dropped, though not forgotten, the six of them sat down at the Chang's kitchen table and started to eat, enjoying both the food and the company. Fai took a slice of cheese pizza, too afraid of the unknown American food to try anything more complicated, and simply stared at it for several minutes. It didn't look very appetizing, yet his new friends were eating it happily. Truthfully, it didn't even look like food to him. Having never had soda before, he had begged Wufei to order him a simple green tea, but the cold, lime-colored liquid in the glass bottle looked… dubious.

“Just try it,” Wufei urged with a small smile. Fai had always been nervous around things that were different from the things he was used to. Fai reminded him, painfully, of a child given a new chore. He didn't know what to do and was terrified of doing something wrong because he was sure he would be scolded or hit because of it. Wufei was sure that, as a child, he had been. He had only met Fai's parents a few times, but he had started to hate them long before that. Every time Fai had been nervous, self-conscious, self-hating, unsure of himself, every time he put himself down, every time he called himself stupid, Wufei had hated them. Just the thought of sending his lover back to them made Wufei want to chain Fai to the bed, just to keep him here, safe and with him.

Fai struggled to open the bottle of green tea, flinching at the obnoxious, loud `pop' the metal top made when he got it off. The glass was indeed cold, which he hadn't been expecting. It was probably a good thing considering that the pizza was hot, but he still wasn't sure about drinking it. He took a sip, sure that, despite his doubts about the tea, it would taste good anyway, and immediately made a disgusted face, glaring at the tea. This tea tasted like the tea that one time his mother had accidentally dumped a tin of sugar into it, only this tea was ice cold. How could anyone drink tea that tasted more candy than a beverage?!

Wufei couldn't help but grin at his boyfriend's irritated, grossed-out look. But Duo took pity on him. He poured some root beer into a clean glass and handed it to the other longhaired boy.

“Here, this might taste better than that,” Duo insisted. Fai eyed the glass filled with dark brown liquid with distrust. The tea had been bad enough, but soda was notoriously sweet, so why would Duo want him to drink it? He wanted to turn down the beverage, but to do so would be to turn down Duo's kindness as well. So, he drank it.

Fai blinked as he sipped down the root beet. He had been right, it was sweet, yet it didn't disgust him like the tea had. The sweetness seemed… more natural. The drink itself, despite the sharpness of the carbonation, tasted smooth, the ginger in it pleasant instead of too strong or too bland. Fai's eyes widened in surprise as he realized he actually liked the soda. He hadn't liked the tea because he had been expecting one thing and had tasted something else. He took an experimental bite of his pizza and found the root beer a perfect compliment to it. The pizza itself was quite good and not nearly as greasy as the pizza in the school cafeteria.

“I'll take that,” Quatre said cheerfully as he grabbed the bottle of green tea. He was used to sweet teas as they were more common in his home land than in Wufei's, he was sure. In fact, he couldn't stand the sometimes bitterness of the tea Heero's grandfather seemed to cherish and always had on tap when they were kids.

“I can't believe that we've never been over each other's houses before,” Duo mused, “You two should come over tomorrow…” his voice trailed off as he realized it wasn't really his place to suggest such a thing. He was assuming too much, though he truly thought of the Yuy's house as his home, being so bold as inviting people over was crossing the line, wasn't it? He dared a glance at Heero, but he didn't seem annoyed at all.

“Of course they should!” Quatre said diplomatically, “Name wouldn't mind, but we should make something for dinner instead of just ordering out.”

Wufei and Fai shared a nervous look at the thought of eating dinner with Name Yuy. It was one thing to know Heero, since he was pretty down to earth, even if he was acting like a jerk right now, in Wufei's opinion, and anyone who would take in a kid they barely even knew and had saved them from a lifestyle like Duo's had to be an exceptionally honorable person, and sure, he had met Name before. She had driven him back home from Boston and had been nice then, but had also been in what Quatre had once affectionately called `mission mode', so concentrated on getting them safe, that they hadn't exactly had the time to chat. Examining Heero's reactions to anything involving Duo, Wufei thought that this mission mode thing had to be genetic.

In any case, when Wufei thought about Heero's mother, the one image he had was of her at the hospital, a day after Duo had divulged his story to them. It had been after hearing that story, and insulting Duo. He had been kicked out of his room, but he had returned the next day, hoping to speak to his ex-crush, only to meet with a furious Name Yuy, ordering him to stay away from Duo, as long as he continued to be rude and hurtful. She had said, in no uncertain terms, that she was willing to do whatever she had to, to protect her new charge. He respected Name for her actions back then, as well as recently, but that image of her, furious and protective and hating his guts enough to, Wufei had been terrified enough to think, send a hit squad after him, had stayed with him and she had easily intimidated him. Even now, the thought of sitting down to dinner with the woman was… terrifying.

“I don't know,” Wufei said cautiously.

“But Name's nice,” Duo protested, quick to defend the woman that had given him a second chance at life, “she was a little bit cold to me at first,” he admitted, “but she's done so much for me… and she really is nice. She's not scary when you get to know her.”

Duo's words did nothing to soothe the two Chinese boys, but Wufei nodded.

“It would be rude if we didn't accept,” Fai pointed out in agreement, but they could all tell that the idea still scared him.

“Like Duo said, Name isn't scary,” Quatre tried to assure them, “She can be a little bit… intimidating when you first meet her, but she's actually very kind and certainly not as cutthroat as the media makes her out to be.”

Fai paled at that, feeling worse instead of better.

“Maybe towards you guys, but after what I did…” Wufei pointed out, thinking again of his harsh words to Duo in the hospital and sending Duo an apologetic look.

“She knows you're sorry,” Duo insisted, “And trust me, she won't make you jump through hoops to impress her. When she first met me, she had thought I was using Heero, but even then, she was never cruel, and once she realized I just wanted to be his friend, she turned out to be the nicest person I've ever met, besides Heero of course.”

Heero, who had been staying out of the conversation by being immersed in eating his French fries, blushed at the comment.

`After all I've done to him after all the bad things that have happened to him because of me, he still thinks of me as someone kind. No, not only kind, the kindest person he's ever met,' Heero thought in astonishment. That thought filled him with hope, hurtful, but shining. The moment was swiftly broken as they heard the front door open and someone enter the house.

“I thought your parents weren't going to come home until later tonight,” Fai mentioned as he glanced at his boyfriend.

“Maybe Mom got off early,” Wufei suggested. Duo heard his tone of doubt and felt fear prickle down his spine. What if his worst fears were happening right now? What if Chris or Wes had found him, again, and were going to hurt, not just him, but all of his friends? But the strides of the people coming towards them were too small to belong to tall men like Wes and Chris. What if they had decided to not dirty their hands this time? What if they had sent someone else after him? What if…

Duo abandoned the thought. He had to stop doing this! Every bump in the night, ever shadow, every shiver down his spine was not a monster, ready to come out of the dark and go after him! He was being ridiculous and he knew it, but he couldn't shake his fear, or his guilt.

A woman with long, ebony hair strolled leisurely into the kitchen and gave them all an amused Duo quickly recognized her as Wufei's mother and relaxed. The two of them looked incredibly similar, aside from the fact that they were both Chinese. They had the same almost-tan skin color, the same straight, jet-black hair, the same delicate features, and even the same posture. Her eyes were lighter and her nose was a bit smaller, but there was no doubt in Duo's mind that this woman was Wufei's mom. She looked to be around Name's age, but Name was taller. Her black hair, which was longer than Wufei's, but shorter than Fai's, was up in a frazzled ponytail, mussed in a way that practically screamed that she had just come off of work.

“Well, that explains the strange, expensive car in my drive way!” she said cheerfully as she looked from boy to boy, “Wufei, I really wish you had told us we were to have company tonight! The least I could have done was tidied up and cooked something better than pizza!”

“That's alright,” Quatre said, standing up to greet their friend's mother, “Pizza was fine. Your son has been a great host. I hope we're not intruding.”

Wufei had the common sense to look guilty when his mother's sharp eye moved from Quatre to him.

“I thought you and Dad weren't going to be home until later. I would have asked you permission if I had known you two had gotten off early,” he said.

“You should have asked anyway,” she pointed out, “But this is fine. I'm glad to have you boys over. I've been wanting to meet with Wufei's new friends for quite some time now. And you must be Duo Maxwell,” her tone turned happy and excited as she noticed the longhaired American who was helping Fai clear the table for Wufei's parents to have their own dinner.

“Y-yes, Ma'am,” Duo stammered, stopping what he was doing. It still disturbed him how people he had never met could pick him out of a crowd, but he supposed, if Wufei had told his parents about him, with his eyes and hair, he was easily recognizable.

“Wufei must have spoken about me a bit,” he inferred.

“Oh, all the time!” she informed him, “but I actually know you from the hospital.”

Wufei and Duo paled at that fact. Wufei had tried so hard to keep Duo's secret. He hated lying to his parents, but for Duo's sake, he had had to keep things from them and… alter the truth a little. Actually, it was just as much for his sake as Duo's.

“The hospital?” Duo asked nervously. He didn't remember ever seeing her there, but he had been so drugged up for so long, his memory of that depressing time was fuzzy.

“Yes. I was on duty the night you were brought in,” she said, “I don't work in the children's wing, that's Dr. Stark's territory, but all the doctors and nurses were gossiping about you and your connection to the Yuy family.”

“So… you know what happened?” Quatre asked cautiously. He hadn't wanted anyone to find out about Duo's dark past this way, through whispers and gossip. Wufei's mother nodded. Duo suddenly felt sick. Did the whole damn hospital know that he had been raped?

“Can you tell us what you heard had happened?” Trowa asked.

“Duo didn't tell you?” she questioned.

“Well, it would be nice to hear the story from a doctor's point of view. Duo was so sick at the time and his doctor only really spoke to Mrs. Yuy,” Trowa pointed out. Wufei glared at him. He didn't know what the Italian was trying to pull, but, bad enough that his mother knew, he didn't want Fai finding out this way. He wouldn't mind if he knew that it didn't bother Duo, but by the paleness of his friend's face, Wufei knew that it did.

Of course, if it had been Wufei, he would have been bothered to know that others knew, too. He had always been a private person and something like this was just too dark and twisted for him to ever share it with anyone. But then again, Wufei knew Duo was stronger than him. If something like that had ever happened, he never would have been able to survive it, let alone pull himself back out again like Duo had.

“Well, one of the doctors told me that Duo had an accident of some kind. His spleen had ruptured, but it was Heero who had brought him in, yet his father never came for him. He had just… left him to fend for himself! And Wufei said you're living with the Yuy's now, is that right?” she asked Duo, who looked relieved, realizing that she didn't know the whole truth. He nodded.

“You poor thing. Your father must have been a terrible person, just to abandon you when you were so sick… you have died!” she sympathized.

“He… wasn't a very nice man, no,” Duo confessed, “But the Yuy's have been very kind to me.”

Fai stared at Duo. So, this was his secret? It was no wonder Duo held Name in such high regard! If it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have gotten proper care or a home afterwards. What had his father been thinking, just leaving Duo to die like that! He felt furious at the thought, as well as a surge of pride and protectiveness towards Duo, that he had survived such neglect. Did that mean that his father had actually been the one who had hurt him, or had he only decided to abandon his child? Duo had said his father wasn't a nice man, did that mean he had been abusing him as well as neglecting him? There were too many implications of that one statement, each worse than the last.

Duo suddenly found himself wrapped in a hug by Wufei's mother. Wufei groaned in embarrassment. His mother always had the urge to fix things, it came from being a doctor, she often said, but when she realized she couldn't make things better, she got depressed and emotional.

What was it with Duo and mothers, Trowa wondered. It was like he projected a signal that screamed “hug me” to everyone with a maternal instinct within ten miles. That particular image made him snort in amusement. There was something about Duo, be it the things that had happened to him in his life or it was just his character, that exuded this need for affection and safety, yet he was far from pitiful or weak. Trowa had seen this trait and had fallen pretty to it more than once. The Chinese woman quickly released the boy, but her warm, concerned look gave Trowa the impression that she wanted to hug him again.

“I want to thank you for befriending my Wufei,” she said emotionally, “He doesn't make friends easily, but he talks about you all the time. You've been very good for him.”

Duo blushed as Wufei bit back another groan. Trowa tried not to smirk at how uncomfortable Wufei was. He probably hadn't told his mother about how he and Duo had met, but that was fine. No mother really wanted to know about the stupid things her children did when she wasn't looking.

“It's not a big deal,” Duo said, squirming a little. He was terrible at taking compliments and he knew it. He had spent his entire life being yelled at, called dirty, hurtful things, and scolded, so whenever anyone said anything good about him, it took him by surprise and he didn't know how to act.

“It wasn't all that long ago, just a few months, that I was all alone, too,” Duo confessed, “I know how hard it is to make friends and I'm glad that I met Wufei. He's a good friend.”

Wufei tried to find some sarcasm in Duo's words, but to his shock, he realized that his friend was speaking the truth, after causing him so much stress, Duo actually cherished his friendship.

“You haven't introduced yourself, have you?” Wufei's father asked in amusement as he walked into the kitchen, his short, black hair still wet from the quick washing he had done while his wife had been chatting.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, “That was rude, wasn't it?”

Her husband smirked at her.

“You're still as disorganized as you were when we were teenagers. Some things will never change,” he quipped, earning a cold glare.

“I'm Chang Lian, Wufei's mother,” she said, embarrassed by her behavior, “and this is my husband, Chang Zhi.”

“That's better,” Zhi joked.

Duo looked from Zhi to Lain. Considering how Wufei had acted at first, and hearing about what the rest of his family was like, he had been expecting Wufei's parents to be so down to earth.

“Well, you certainly look better,” Lian commented, looking at Zhi's hair.

“You just got off the site?” Wufei asked. Zhi nodded.

“I'm an architect,” he explained to the other boys, “I construct as well as plan and this isn't the first time I've come home with sawdust in my hair,” he turned to Fai, “Did you enjoy sitting in on Wufei's classes.”

Fai nodded and Zhi's gaze turned thoughtful.

“Would you like to come here more often?” he suggested, “You know Wufei's mother and I have no problem with your presence in Wufei's life. It would be nice for Wufei to keep a tie to our homeland, to his past, and I know you make him happy. This is why we insisted on moving away. We did not want our only child to be chained down by ancient traditions if it will only bring him misery.”

Wufei looked away from his father in shame. He had fought so hard against his parents' decision, and he still wasn't entirely happy with it, but he had never truly realized his parents' feelings, and the sacrifices they had deemed worth it. Exile and shame for his happiness… it made his complaints seem childish.

“I would like that,” Fai said with a spark of excitement in his eyes, “I want to visit Wufei and his friends as much as I can, but to come here is so expensive and the jobs I have don't pay much… even if I could find a way to keep my father from stopping me again, it would take several months to come back here. I am already in trouble when I return. This trip was worth it, but my father will be keeping a strict eye on me for quite sometime. I will have to find a different way to sneak away next time.”

Zhi frowned, feeling angry that his son's boyfriend had to go through such lengths just so they could see each other for a week. It was like an old romance novel or drama, the star-crossed lovers with fate itself conspiring against them.

“I can talk to your father,” he offered. Oh, he could have choice words with Fai's father on more things than just his attitude towards Wufei. Namely his attitude towards his own son, his youngest son, the same attitude that had existed for as long as Fai could remember.

“No,” Fai interrupted, “there is nothing you can say to change his mind. I have tried… he will never change. My family will never change,” he said in a small, hurt voice. Trowa and Quatre shared an emotional look, truly sympathizing with Fai. If it hadn't been for Iria, providing money, shelter, and a way out in those early years of Quatre and Trowa's relationship and Quatre's decision to break ties with his father, he never would have been able to leave home, to be with Trowa.

Lian looked at her son with a great sadness.

“Alright, you guys, why don't you go up to Wufei's room and play? We can clean up here,” Lian paused, realizing that Duo had resumed trying to clean up their mess and she glared at Wufei, “Chang Wufei, you will not make your guests clean up after you!” she snapped, grabbing the empty soda bottles from Duo.

“Gee, thanks for getting me in trouble,” Wufei teased Duo, who rolled his eyes at him.

“Well, someone around here has to be responsible,” he countered.

“Come on,” he grabbed Duo's arm and led him out of the kitchen, “There's something in my room that I know you'll love.”

 

*****

 

“Hamsters!” Duo cheered excitedly, gravitating towards the tank-cage near Wufei's bed, which held two little, white, brown-spotted hamsters, one curled up near the food dish, the other running on it's wheel, squeaking happily. Trowa rolled his eyes.

“You would win him over with fuzzy animals,” he chided in amusement as Duo watched the hamsters and Fai joined them.

“Hey, Shenny,” Fai cooed at the running hamster.

“I never thought of you as a rodent man, Wufei,” Quatre teased.

“I wanted a cat, but my father's allergic, so I got hamsters instead,” Wufei explained, “These two are actually the third pair I've had. They're both females.”

“Can I hold them?” Duo begged with a wide, kittenish expression.

“Sure, they don't bite,” he said, then narrowed his eyes as Duo slid the lid to the side and gently lifted at the tiny creatures.

“Don't tell me you're one of those people who loves rats, Duo,” Wufei asked suspiciously.

“Rats are cute!” Duo said defensively, “In between the alley outside Wes' apartment and how I grew up, I got used to them pretty quickly and before I had my cats, I talked to rats. I don't get why so many people are grossed out by them. Especially these little fluff balls! They're so cute!”

Wufei looked at Duo in horror.

“Duo… you… you didn't… um… when you were a kid…” he struggled with the thought of Duo eating rats as a child. Duo gave him a dark look, not one of hatred, but one of reflection and regret, understanding what he was trying to say.

“Sometimes,” he murmured, “If I had to, if things were tough. I always hated it. Sometimes, I would wait too long, just because I didn't want to, but in the end…” he lapsed into silence. A morbid, depressed air filled the room.

Fai had no idea what was going on, but stayed quiet out of respect of the sudden, somber mood. Heero watched Duo with a smile as he stroked the hamsters' fur with a soft, affectionate look. He had missed that smile…

“I guess this is my penance,” Duo murmured, his smile growing as the more active hamster squeaked, almost in agreement, and nuzzled his thumb. Wufei wanted to make a crack that only Duo would feel guilty about killing rats for his own survival, but felt that it would be cheap.

“What are their names?” Duo asked Wufei.

“Shenlong and Nataku,” Fai said smugly. Duo's eyes widened. Last semester's history class had included world mythology, so he knew what those names were and what they meant.

“'Fei, their names are bigger than they are!” Duo exclaimed.

“That's what I told him!” Fai laughed.

“Shut up!” Wufei snapped indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest, “They are brave and noble warriors that were saved from an unworthy death in a soup kitchen!”

“What?!” Duo shrieked in horror. Fai playfully punched his boyfriend in the shoulder.

“Don't tease him like that!” he scolded, “Duo, we don't eat hamster.”

“Oh… well… that's good,” Duo muttered, holding the rodents protectively, “I always wanted a gerbil or something small like that, but my cats, especially Toby, would just eat it.”

Fai immediately brightened.

“You have cats?” he asked excitedly.

“No, he has eight cats and a horde of kittens that need to be given away,” Trowa said dryly, “You'll be able to see them when you come over tomorrow.”

Wufei shook his head.

“I still can't believe you have so many. I know you love them all and they're important to you, and you're able to take care of them. Still, I'm surprised that my dad didn't start sneezing just by being near you,” Wufei smirked.

Duo stuck his tongue out childishly at him and put the hamsters back in their tank.

“I'd like to see your cats,” Fai said shyly, “I have one back home. Well, it's not really my cat, it's my eldest brother's, but he never fed her, even when she was a kitten. I was more interested in her and ended up being the one who took care of her, so she connected with me instead of my brother.”

“Your brothers are idiots, all three of them,” Wufei said angrily, thinking that Fai's entire family treated Fai just like they treated the cat, “He named the poor thing “TúnshÅ­”, first of all, but he and the other two just call her “ZhÅ«.””

Fai gave Wufei an irritated look, but he knew his lover was right.

“What do those names mean?” Duo asked.

“Well, you can make fun of my hamsters' names, but Fai's brothers were just cruel. When the cat was a kitten, she had the brown and white coloring of a guinea pig. Now, she's mostly white with light brown spots, like my hamsters, but back then, she was named “TúnshÅ­,” which is “guinea pig”, and now she's “ZhÅ«,” which is just “pig”.”

“She's not even fat,” Fai grumbled, “And she certainly doesn't look like a rat or a pig! I had always thought that she looked like a pinto horse, so I named her “Jún.” It means `spirited horse',” he clarified for Duo. Wufei smiled fondly at him.

“And now the little beast only answers to Jún, Wufei mused.

Quatre squeaked as Heero's phone made a loud ping, signaling a new text message. The blonde glared at him.

“Why is that thing up so loud?!” he demanded, “What if it had gone off in the library or during dinner?!”

Heero just rolled his eyes and grunted at his friend. He looked at the text and sighed.

“Time to go,” he announced.

“Is she pissed?” Trowa asked. Heero shook his head.

“No, but it's getting late and we have a lot of homework to do. We should go,” Heero pointed out, though he didn't want to go at all. He wanted Duo to play with the hamsters some more, he wanted to watch him smile.

“We'll pick you two up tomorrow morning and we can hang out after school,” Quatre said. Fai nodded. The four boys said their goodbyes to Fai and Wufei and started to pile out of the room, but Duo hesitated and looked back at Wufei.

“'Fei… about before, when I said your situation was unfair, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you,” he apologized.

Wufei shook his head, a little bit amused that Duo would feel guilty about something like that.

“It wasn't an insult to me,” he assured him, “In fact, you have a very noble sense of justice. When you talk about your past, you never seen outraged by it. To you, it's just memories, terrible things, but things that can't be changed. I guess it's impossible to reconcile such… abuses with merely right and wrong, but you have to understand that it worries all of us when you speak of them like that, like you've accepted them. What Wes did to you… you should be furious, but you're not. Considering what happened… I'm honored that my situation has made you so upset.”

“It's true,” Duo admitted, “I had to accept what went on, all those dark things, because for so long, I thought I deserved them, that it was all my fault. If I hadn't accepted them, if I had thought that what he did to me was such an injustice… I would have gone insane. I couldn't fight, I could barely maintain… myself after all those years… I thought that I had to be a bad person, someone evil, for him to do those things to me… then, after awhile, I just believed that it didn't matter, things like wrong and right in my life didn't exist. Only good people could possibly have a concept like that,” he ran a hand through his bangs, not wanting to so much as think of those dark times, yet the words came easily because, back then, he had thought of those things so often.

“I only truly understood what justice was when I saw how all of you, my friends, reacted to my past. Even you. Your words hurt, I won't insult you by denying that, but those words came out because you believed that what had happened to me wasn't right. You were actually offended by my own situation. Even from the start, you have always been more honorable than me. Since I was a kid, I had been so sure that things like honor and justice didn't exist, that everyone in the world was as dark, twisted, and pessimistic as I was, as the people I had met were. But I was wrong. I wouldn't be here right now if I had been right. You remember when Heero was almost expelled for beating up that kid? A lesser person, someone without honor, would have gotten him in trouble, they would have lied to get what they wanted, but you told the truth. You did the right thing and helped him.”

Wufei snorted.

“It's no wonder you get along so well with Meiran,” he mused, “You think you have no sense of honor? Most, including my own family, would think that getting all that money was the better deal, yet you immediately were so concerned with my pride and freedom. I mean, you lived so long being poor… I would have thought that you of all people would consider money more important.”

“I may have been poor for all of my life, but I've also been chained down, stripped of a future, choices, and any sort of personal identity, so I've learned that money is shit, unless you're someone you can be proud of. I had always thought that what had happened was good, hell, maybe that was a lie to rationalize why I staid with Wes, because being with him had to be better than being homeless, but now… when I think about him and miss him, yearn for his presence because I was with him for so long, because in really fucked-up way, he was the only stable thing in my life, I absolutely hate myself. I don't want to like what he did to me, I don't want to love him and think back to those times and actually feel lonely for him. When I think of that, I think it would have been better if I had just starved to death on the streets than had met him,” Duo's strained words were cut off as Wufei hugged him.

Fai felt a stab in his heart and stomach, but it wasn't from jealousy, seeing his lover hold his ex-crush so affectionately. He had the impulse to hug him, too. He had no idea what they had been talking about, but Duo's words… no human being should feel that way. When Duo had said that he hated himself, he had meant it with every inch of his soul.

“Duo…” Wufei sighed, his voice filled with pain for his friend and he struggled not to let his fury at Wes to show, in case Duo thought he was blaming him again. How could he have ever thought that Duo's past was entirely his fault? He let go of his friend and looked into his stormy, violet eyes.

“I'm not what you think I am. When I was younger, I was just like you,” he confessed, “I didn't believe in justice, either, and, after everything you've told me, I'm still not sure it exists. After all, that… bastard is still out there while you have to live with what he did to you… but back when I was still engaged to Meiran, I had truly believed that justice was created by people with power so they could justify their actions. I didn't believe in a true justice, a universal `right' and `wrong', but Meiran did. She believed it so passionately. Whenever I told her my beliefs, she was so adamant that she was right. We fought so stubbornly about it… Then, she sacrificed her freedom, and her pride, just so I could discover my true path, my true happiness, yet through that sacrifice and her misery, she still believed in justice, in honor. I saw that and I… I wanted to believe in something so resolutely. I adopted her philosophy to honor her, and because I was proud of her and wanted something in myself to be proud of.”

“But you can't just act a certain way for someone else's actions or because it sounds nice, you have to actually believe in it. When you stood up for Heero, you weren't doing it because you thought it was something your cousin would do, you did it because you believed it was right. Meiran did what she did because she knew that forcing you to do something that would make you ashamed and miserable was wrong and you knew she was right in thinking that,” Duo insisted.

Wufei smiled at him affectionately.

“And she was right. Afterlife notwithstanding, our lives are short. In meeting you, I have learned that anything can happen, good or bad, so we should do whatever makes us happy, while we're still alive and able to reach for it, right?” he asked.

Duo nodded in agreement.

“Then talk to Heero, Duo,” Wufei nearly pleaded. Duo looked at him in shock.

“I… I can't,” he said softly, with a great deal of pain. Fai quickly realized that his assumptions were right. The one Duo was in love with was Heero. Was that why they weren't speaking, because Duo was too shy?

If that was the truth, Fai felt bad for the both of them. He had been in love with Wufei for quite some time, but he had been too shy, too scared, to say anything. If Wufei hadn't taken the first step, would he have never known how wonderful it was to be with him, as lovers? He certainly hoped that that wouldn't be the case for Heero and Duo, if Heero felt the same way.

“Yes, you can,” Wufei insisted, “He makes you happy, we all know that he does. He saved you and the connection you have with him is something the rest of us will never have with anyone. Without him… you're miserable. He's miserable, too. You deserve happiness, Duo. You've been denying yourself for so long. You've known pain and darkness, and the only way you know to survive is to not try for the things you want most, because you're so sure you'll fail, and that failure is so painful, it's almost fatal. Don't you get it? You're not distancing yourself from your best friend because of what happened in Boston. You're doing it because you're terrified of being happy. Something you have no idea what it feels like or how it will make you change. You're scared to death of not being miserable, of actually trying to hope for something good and normal. You're just using what had happened as an excuse to push him away, but he's gotten too close to who you really are, something no one has ever done before.”

Duo's eyes widened at the truth of what Wufei was saying. He was… hiding from happiness? It was true that he was scared of his new life at the same time that it was everything he had ever wanted. Was he really pushing Heero away like he was trying to push his past away, because he was terrified of seeing what was really hiding underneath it? Were his feelings for his best friend like his past and his denial of their existence just delaying the inevitable? Wufei was right, he was absolutely terrified of letting Heero in, thinking that Heero was mad at him and that Heero was in danger were just pitiful excuses.

The truth was, his life was made up of moments of pain and darkness. He was death, humiliation, and destruction, all rolled into one. And Heero… Heero was light and hope, dreams and happiness. Reaching for him was like a fish trying to walk on land. He had no idea what he really wanted, and what if he failed, when his entire soul was relying on succeeding? Wes really was his father. He and his mother, the cold, uncaring streets, had created who he was now. What if he learned that who he really was, was someone that Heero would be disgusted in, or worse, someone that would only turn Heero into someone like him at the end of it all?

He wanted to be with Heero forever. He wanted to become a better person for Heero. He just… he wanted to be proud of himself. He wanted to be loved. He wanted to let go of his past.

“I don't want to be scared anymore,” he murmured out loud.

`I don't want to be dirty anymore. I don't want to be tired, or sad, or see this… darkness, this distortion inside of myself. I want to be whole. I want Heero… to love me for who I am, but in order for that to happen… I have to be someone else. How could he ever love my real self when who I really am is so new and… disgusting?' he thought, his heart feeling like it was being crushed by his violent emotions.

Wufei and Fai saw the darkness in his eyes and Wufei panicked, realizing he had brought something up that Duo hadn't been ready to think about, let alone talk about.

“Duo, I'm so sorry,” he apologized in a panic, “I'm an idiot. Don't listen to me.”

He felt like slamming his head against the wall. He wasn't a therapist and he had no right to say these things to his friend, who was still suffering through his past abuse and clearly wasn't ready to be psychoanalyzed, but he wanted Duo and Heero to be happy and attached at the hip again.

“No,” Duo murmured, his voice tight, “You're right. I'm terrified and I'm running away, because it's easier. I need to talk to him… but I'm too much of a coward.”

“Being scared doesn't make you a coward,” Fai defended Duo, “You'll find the strength to do it. I used to think that I was useless and a coward, but my feelings for Wufei made me try to see him again, and here I am. Those feelings are scary, but they're beautiful, and they give you strength, don't they?”

Duo nodded, thinking of how his feelings for Heero had led him to break off his deal with Zechs, run away from Wes, and live through a near-death experience. Heero had said that he was strong all on his own, but the night his spleen had ruptured, he had almost died and, at that moment, seeing Heero again had been the only thing he had had to live for. If those feelings had been strong enough for him to cheat death… why couldn't he face Heero and just admit that he was sorry for putting his life in danger, but he lacked the strength to go on without him? He needed Heero, it was as simple as that. So why was this decision so hard to make?

“Thank you,” he said to both Fai and Wufei. Wufei sighed.

“Duo… just be happy and don't worry so much, ok?” he pleaded. Duo smiled at him.

“You're a good friend, Wufei,” he said, “Don't ever think differently.”

Wufei blushed as he watched Duo leave, feeling immensely humbled.

“Is he going to be ok?” Fai asked worriedly. He knew that he was massively in the dark about Duo's past, but he felt that he knew enough about him to know there was something very deep troubling him, and he had interacted with him enough to know Duo had a unique inner strength, and for Fai to be deeply concerned about him.

“I'm beginning to think that Duo can survive anything,” Wufei said, “But right now, he really needs our support.”

Feeling weary, Wufei sat on the edge of his bed and Fai joined him, pushing him down so they were both lying down. Fai curled up against Wufei's side, laying his head on the taller boy's chest and throwing an arm around his flat stomach so he could snuggled against him easily. Wufei curled his right arm around Fai's slender back, stroking his hair with his long fingers. Fai struggled against a deep feeling of pleasure and relaxation, trying to stay awake. In between the smaller bedroom, the new food, and Wufei's strange, but companionable new friends, something so familiar as lying with his lover was comfortable. They staid silent, letting the strained conversation with Duo fade into the background, reveling in each other's company.

“You never told me why this house is smaller than your old one,” Fai suddenly mentioned.

“You don't like it?” Wufei asked.

“No, I love it,” Fai assured him, “it's still bigger than my house and I know your parents aren't flashy, but they could have comfortably bought something bigger. IS there a specific reason why they chose this house?”

Wufei's fingers traveled down to Fai's thin neck, which made the longhaired boy relax even further.

“Whey my parents decided to move here, they both wanted to make sure they would have jobs. Doctors are hard to come by here because of the economy and, since medical technology and drugs have been updated so constantly in the last ten years, all the older doctors have had to get retrained, so Mom managed to get her current job pretty easily. However, they had heard rumors and stories of immigrants losing their jobs before they even got to America, so they decided to save as much money as they could in case they ended up losing steady income and got a smaller house. My father also told me that they wanted me to fit in better, so they didn't want to stand out too much and most of this town is poor or middle class anyway.”

Fai frowned.

“It must be so hard,” he mused out loud, “To move from your home only to find you can't get a job. Meiran must have had such a hard time…”

Wufei hummed in affirmative, then smirked, getting a mischievous look in his dark eyes as Fai made a happy noise deep in his throat at Wufei's fingers on his neck.

Fai squeaked as Wufei rolled him over so the longhaired boy was on top of him, straddling his waist. Wufei grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to kiss him. Fai's amber eyes slid closed and he moaned against Wufei's lips as the other boy slipped his tongue into his mouth. He returned the gesture, loving the taste of pizza and French fries on his boyfriend's tongue. The flavor remained even when they parted, the both of them flushed.

“Your parents,” Fai started to protest, but his words ended in a low groan as Wufei slid one hand up his short, trailing over his stomach and another down his jeans, slipping under his underwear. Fai gasped again as those questing fingers found his slowly hardening cock and wrapped around it, stroking the flesh gently, lovingly.

“'Fei…” he murmured breathlessly, suddenly no longer caring about anyone walking in on them. How long had it been since he had felt his lover's knowing touch on his sensitive skin?

“Just let me take care of you,” Wufei pleaded. He couldn't have stopped touching that wonderful part of his boyfriend's body, a part only he had touched. He could feel Fai's cock, silky, hard, and hot, twitch in his hand.

Fai stopped fighting and let Wufei fondle his erection, his fingers tracing over the length and engorged head. If he had been able to think as Wufei stroked him and simultaneously slid his jeans and underwear down his legs, his other hand softly squeezing one of his butt cheeks, he would have found that he truly hated his family for trying to deny him this intense, intimate pleasure.

Suddenly, Wufei's long middle finger slid past Fai's tight entrance, deep inside of his passage and he cried out. Under his thoughts of love and desperate need, Fai prayed that the end of the week would never come. He kicked off his jeans, not caring where they landed. His hands, shaking with suppressed emotion, barely managed to unzip Wufei's own jeans, shocked at how hard Wufei's own penis already was, but it had been a long time for both of them.

“Lubricant?” Fai choked out as he felt Wufei's thumb rub relentlessly along the slit of his cock, spreading the leaking pre-cum over his fingers and the fact head. His need to feel Wufei's cock inside of his body pulsed in an intense heat in his thighs, genitals, and gut. This was what his father was trying to deny him, this passion? He couldn't give this up, for anything. He couldn't think of why Wufei would have lubrication, but whether he did or not, he was going to make love to him, even if it hurt. To his astonishment, Wufei dug a tube of lube out of his pocket.

“How?” he asked, his breath coming out in heavy pants as Wufei slipped another finger inside of him, his arousal doing a decent job of relaxing his muscles for him.

“It's Quatre and Trowa's,” Wufei said with a deep blush, studying Fai's flushed, pleasurable expression with a feeling of love and awe. He remembered how Quatre had slipped the tube to him when they had been changing for gym. The blonde had told him that he would be needing it and if he needed anymore, he should just ask him or Trowa. It had been embarrassing, that Quatre would think he and Fai were going to have so much sex, they needed another tube, but he was grateful.

He and Fai had never been… sex crazed, but they were healthy teenagers and it felt so good, just to be together this way. He rolled them over so Fai was lying down and he was hovering above him, so they could watch each other more easily. It was a guilty pleasure of Wufei's, to watch Fai's expressions as he made love to him. He pushed the longhaired boy's shirt up, his fingers rubbed at Fai's lightly colored nipples and he leaned down to lick at one of them, loving the soft feel and taste of his lover's skin.

Fai gasped at the contact, spreading his legs as he felt Wufei's hand find his entrance again and he slid two inside again, this time slick with lube that Fai hadn't seen him use.

“I had forgotten how soft you are down here,” Wufei murmured, his fingers stroking Fai's insides. Fai looked up at him with half-lidded amber eyes. He wrapped his legs around Wufei's waist, drawing him closer to him, slid his hand in between their bodies, finding Wufei's wet erection. He shifted his body to rub his own cock against his lover's, both lengths slick with pre-cum. Wufei groaned, closing his eyes in pleasure as he felt Fai's rounded head slide and rub against his sensitive flesh. He could feel his testicles press against his own, through his boxers, sending jolts of pleasure through him.

“I need…” he managed to gasp out, his fingers slipping from his lover to grab at his thin hips.

“I'm ready,” Fai told him, their glazed eyes meeting. Wufei nodded. He used his hand to guide the head of his cock to Fai's slightly loosened entrance and pressed against it. Fai squeezed his eyes tightly closed as he felt Wufei's hot length start to push inside his body. Ever since he had offered up his virginity to Wufei over a year ago, he had always expected there to be a terrible pain, but there never was. Some soreness, but never pain.

Wufei bit back a cry as his cock was squeezed by tight, silky flesh that radiated heat. He loved this feeling… some times he thought he could stay inside his boyfriend forever and never get enough. How could anyone use this and turn it into something wrong and twisted? He suddenly realized Duo's pain more than he ever did. He had never known this… happiness. What he knew of sex was that it hurt and was disgusting, he didn't know how good it could feel. How could he live that way?

Fai panted heavily ash e felt Wufei's wonderful length slip out of him a little, only to thrust back inside of him, sending huge shocks of pleasure through him. He arched his back and his hands gripped at the sheets under his body. He could feel Wufei's weight pushing down on him and his arms wrapping around his arched back, pulling him into his arms.

Fai rested his head against Wufei's shoulder and let out a soft cry as he felt the thick rod inside of him slide in deeper at the shift of position. Wufei's arms remained around him, cuddling him as he thrust inside of him over and over. He followed his lover's rhythm, moving his body with him.

Fai's flushed, needy body pressed against Wufei's fully clothed one, his jeans rubbing against his bare lower body. The taller boy's cock was relentless, pushing and rubbing inside of him, not giving him a single chance to catch his breath, making him want to scream and plead with Wufei to slow down or he was going to climax too soon.

Wufei could feel that he was losing himself in Fai's hot insides, his thrusts becoming faster and more desperate. Keeping one arm around Fai's sweaty back, his shirt sticking to his skin, Wufei wrapped his free hand around his lover's erection, stroking it roughly. The familiar grip made Fai's muscles tighten, his entire body reacting to the stimulation and pleasure making him moan loudly.

It had been too long and after a few strokes, Fai gave out a keening cry and let go, climaxing harshly, his cum spilling over Wufei's hand. Wufei's arm tightened around his lover as Fai trembled in his grip, thrusting deeper and deeper inside of him. Fai's insides clenched at him, driving him into a startling orgasm that sent white lights shooting through his vision. Wufei's back became rigid as his semen filled his lover's passage.

Wufei lied the two of them down on the bed, feeling his cum slipping out of Fai, but refused to slip out of him so soon, even to clean up. His post-climatic bliss was cut short as he felt Fai shaking and his shirt became wet with his tears.

“Did I hurt you?!” Wufei demanded, trying to pull out of his boyfriend, but Fai kept his legs tight around his waist, keeping him from moving out of him.

“No! It… it was wonderful,” he sniffed. Wufei looked him in the eye and saw that his amber eyes were still slightly glazed with pleasure, but also with a great sadness.

“I just… I don't want to go home,” he said mournfully.

“We still have five days until you have to go,” Wufei tried to soothe him, but he understood the desire to not let go of his lover.

“Yes, then I have to go home and leave behind everything that I love,” Fai said bitterly, “I just want to be with you, forever, I don't care where I am, I just want that.”

Wufei let Fai curl against him like a child, finding it hard to say words that would comfort the both of them.

“I love you,” he said passionately, “And I will find a way to be with you. I won't let anyone take this away from us.”

If there was something Duo's plight had made him realize, it was how precious happiness was, that it was something worth fighting for, even if it was small and complicated. His clan would call what they had just done, the sex, the need for each other and only each other, something that was wrong, and he refused to feel that way. He refused to let them make him feel like Duo, confused about what he really wanted.

“We'll be together,” Wufei promised, but didn't feel nearly as sure as he sounded.

 

 

End part 17

 

This part was supposed to be really short, but Wufei and Fai's relationship begged more attention. I hoped you liked Fai, as well as the sex scene, which I have to admit was a little bit rushed, but it was the first consensual, affectionate sex scene in this huge fanfic (that's kind of sad, actually). Also, it's really hard to write sex during a religion class where half of the class believes more in supernatural powers than the power of the human mind and placebos (half of the class didn't even know what a placebo was and more than a half of them honestly believed such a thing didn't exist *slams head against a wall*)

 

Hopefully, the next part will be out soon. Depending on when my internet is working again in order to post this part, it may be posted in a few minutes, or a few days. I keep saying that this chapter is coming to a close, but then my muse pipes in with more things to add to the notes, so maybe this really is the never ending chapter… I really hope not, because after writing Wufei and Fai's lovey dovey bits in the last two parts, I reeeeally want to start writing chapter 9 at some point in my life.

 

Still looking for trial and law knowledge and I think I'm going to just post the prologue for `Nightmares of You' and keep working on `Beyond the Looking Glass' for October. November will be `Poisoned Memories' and December, I'll just keep working on RTK, which will soon be converted to an original story.

 

Thanks to my beta and anyone who has ever reviewed, it makes me feel like a real writer and not just someone with a dubious hobby.