Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Road to Kindness ❯ Surgery Part 16 ( Chapter 23 )

The Road to Kindness

Chapter 7

 

Author's Notes: Sorry about the lateness of this post, I had way too much going on in my personal, and technological, life to post as much as I wanted to. Chapter 7 is soon going to draw to a close, starting with next part's dramatic event, though I don't know if part 18 will be the ending of Chapter 7 yet, probably not since I want to get the ending just right. I will, of course, continue on to work on Chapter 8, though that one's a doozy, too.

 

Notice: If there is anyone who knows about trial procedure, law, ect., I'm looking for a consult. Preferably someone who knows what they're talking about and not someone who's just watched Law and Order a bunch of times since it's hardly accurate. If you think you can help, please e-mail me at thorperin at pmc dot edu.

 

Another note, this chapter has some Chinese language in it. I am not good with Chinese at all, Japanese is more my thing, but I tried my hand at it. If anyone is well versed in it and catches a mistake, please tell me so I can put in the right words. I'm going to include the translations here so people aren't constantly scrolling to the bottom for them.

 

Xīn' ài = beloved

Mălù = idiot, according to my cousin, it's close to the Japanese `baka' in translation, so I thought it was apt instead of the other variations. Why is it there are so many different ways to call someone stupid in any language?

 

As always, reviews are treasured like the precious things they are and keep me going. Many thanks go to my beta and my cousin, Yuki, who kept me from slamming my head against the wall several times this week, and also kept me from giving up on this fic because of it's size and complex nature. He also loaned out his cats for this fic, or rather, I was inspired by him, so I figure he deserves some sort of mention. He is my unofficial muse for many stories and pokes me with a stick whenever I get irritated with my own inability to write or be coherent.

 

 

Part 16

 

Wufei, who was usually very attentive and studious, had a hard time sitting through the rest of his classes. When the final bell rang, it was a great relief to him. He felt like a little kid, ready to jump up and down in anticipation. He had been so lonely since his parents had made the decision to leave China. He wasn't quite sure if it was leaving his home or just leaving Fai that had made the first few weeks here so unbearable. He had friends now, and that had gone a long way to make him feel welcome in America, but he still felt lonely. The way he saw it, he had three choices. He could stay here in America and be lonely for the rest of his life, he could go back to China with Fai and be miserable with having to pretend they weren't lovers, or he could, somehow, have Fai just live here, which brought about a number of questions and problems he could already think of.

He met up with Duo and Quatre, who walked out to the school parking lot to find Heero's car. Wufei couldn't help but study Duo as they walked together. He really was beautiful and strong and even now, Wufei could still see the things that reminded him of Fai. But, now that he could look past those things, he could also see the things that made him completely different. Still, they were so similar… he shook his head. It didn't matter anymore, it would have never mattered anyway. Duo wouldn't have fallen for him and, in the end, Wufei would have gotten over Duo. Yes, he was still beautiful, but he wasn't in love with him, just attracted to him. Duo didn't belong to him, he belonged to Heero, whether they would ever admit it to each other or not. And Wufei didn't belong to Duo, he belonged to Fai. He understood that now. No, it never would have worked. Even if he and Duo had decided to be a couple, Wufei would have still been distracted by his need for Fai, and the realization that Duo was simply his replacement.

He had acted childishly. He had let his longing for home and his lover turn him into a fool, thinking that he could rebuild what he had once had, here in America but what he had with Fai was special and he could never have it with someone else. He was just glad that he had figured that out before he had completely destroyed his relationship with his boyfriend. How could he have almost thrown that away? It was like he had been throwing a temper tantrum. It was completely logical to assume that, one day, he and Fai would meet again, but instead of believing in that, he had believed his life had been ruined and he would never be happy with his lover again. That was probably why it hurt so much to watch Heero and Duo together. It wasn't because he was jealous of Heero, though he still was, just a little bit; it was because they reminded him of his own relationship, and how he was unable to be with Fai. Heero and Duo obviously loved each other, but refused to admit it. Even before Boston had happened, they had distanced themselves and their feelings. It was so frustrating, watching them, and knowing he was basically in the same situation.

Heero and Trowa were waiting for them at the car, speaking in hushed, irritated tones about something that Wufei couldn't make out and by the time they were close enough to hear, Trowa had spotted them and had stopped lecturing Heero.

“Heero,” Wufei asked right away, “I need a favor of you.”

Heero narrowed his eyes at him and Wufei realized he was thinking of their encounter in the gym. He wondered if that was what he and Trowa had been arguing about, his current situation with Duo.

“What is it?” Heero asked in a clipped tone.

“There's someone I need to pick up at the Bangor airport,” Wufei said with a blush.

“That's a long way,” Heero pointed out, “Who is it?”

Wufei's blush deepened. “My boyfriend,” he murmured.

Quatre and Duo, who had been chatting about this restaurant in Venice that Quatre wanted to take Duo to one day despite Duo saying it was impossible because he didn't have a passport, suddenly fell silent, both staring at him with wide eyes.

“You… have a boyfriend?” Duo asked softly, giving him a scrutinizing and annoyed look. Wufei sighed; he knew that he had to come clean about all of this. Duo probably thought he was a horrible person, chasing after him when he was already in a relationship, and Wufei didn't blame him. What he had done was terrible.

“Yes. Back in China… it's why my parents forced us to move here. I was in love… am in love with a friend of mine, another boy. I was the next in line to become clan master, and the current clan master didn't approve of my relationship, but I was unwilling to compromise, so my parents thought it would be best if we were to live somewhere less… dutiful.”

“Because you're gay?” Quatre said knowingly, thinking of his own father's reaction to his sexuality. Wufei shook his head.

“It isn't exactly like how you're thinking. Men having sex with other men is fairly acceptable in my culture, but homosexuality is looked down upon. In other words, as long as a man does his duty to have a family, a wife, a child… he can do whatever he likes. He can have mistresses, though none that would jeopardize his family, and he can have male lovers. When I chose my boyfriend and denounced any female lovers, I became unwanted to the clan. As I said, I wouldn't compromise, and my parents didn't want me to have to.”

“Isn't your boyfriend in danger, too, then?” Trowa asked, “Is that why he came here?”

“No,” Wufei explained, “You see… the head of the clan arranged a marriage between myself and the daughter of another clan, so when I denounced this arranged marriage, the head of my clan was furious. He tried to find out the name of my male lover, but I refused to give him up. I do not know why he is coming here, whether something has happened and he must take refuge, or if he just wants to see me.”

“But if you have a boyfriend… why did you try to date me? I mean, you kissed me!” Duo demanded, feeling annoyed by this whole thing. He had lived his life being tossed from one man to another. If he was ever in a serious relationship… he didn't think he could ever cheat on that person. Being tied, sexually to one person and only one person… it sounded wonderful, so why would Wufei want to ruin that with him of all people?!

“You kissed him?!” Heero snarled and Wufei felt a huge spike of fear go through him, sure that the Japanese boy was going to hit him, but relaxed only a tiny bit when Heero didn't do more than glare at him as though he were the devil himself.

“It was before you caught him and Zechs,” Wufei told him, “A very long time ago. I already apologized for it. Still, I guess that's no excuse. I had no right to do something like that to him. I didn't even ask, I'm no better than-,”

“Yes you are,” Duo snapped at him, “Yeah, what you did was childish and stupid, but just because you kissed me when I didn't want you to; it doesn't mean you're as bad as a rapist. You backed off eventually. I'm not pissed about that! I'm pissed that you would cheat on your boyfriend so easily. You make it sound like you really love him, so why would you betray him like that?”

Pain clenched at Wufei's heart.

“I was lonely,” he murmured, “I know that isn't a good excuse for what I did to both of you, but I was. I wasn't exactly… happy in China, but I thought for sure I would be completely miserable here, so I set out to make myself miserable. I told myself that I wouldn't make any friends, because Americans were too different and would never understand me. I told myself that I would never see my boyfriend again. Then… I met you, Duo. Duo, you… you look a lot like my boyfriend, and your personality… you're both so alike. Sometimes, when you do something or say something, I can see him in you.”

“So, you just wanted to feel the way you feel for him with me?” Duo asked, the anger bleeding out of his voice. Wufei nodded.

“'Fei,” Duo breathed, making Wufei flinch at the nickname, “You can't do that, no matter how alike we are.”

“I know that now,” the Chinese boy confessed, “And I know I can never make amends for chasing after you, but I've always loved him and leaving him like that… it was painful.”

Quatre and Trowa shared a look, both thinking about how they would react if they had been forced apart like that.

“Well, I forgive you,” Duo told Wufei, “But you need to tell your boyfriend about it. `Lies in a relationship are like worms in the belly. You can't see them, you may not even know they're there, but they'll keep eating away at you until it hurts so badly, it's likely to kill you.'” Duo quoted.

Wufei nodded, “I plan to,” he looked at Heero, “So, can we pick him up at the airport?”

“It's no problem to me,” Heero said, “I know the way, but it's going to be over an hour's drive,” he looked to his other friends.

“I don't mind,” Duo said, “I want to meet him.”

Quatre and Trowa nodded their agreement.

“Then we'll go,” Heero decided, getting into the car. Wufei got into the passenger's side and looked Heero in the eye.

“Thank you,” he said. Heero just shrugged, pretending to be noncommittal again, but Wufei wasn't fooled.

 

*****

 

To his Wufei's surprise, the airport was actually quite crowded, which led to Duo explaining to all of them that, once Spring started, Maine actually got a lot of tourists.

“But it isn't even Spring Break, yet!” Wufei argued, “It's still February!”

“Doesn't matter,” Duo said, “Besides, if you think this is busy, just wait until April or May when towns with national parks start to hold fairs and such. Even our town gets a lot of it, which is kind of irritating, especially because of the increased traffic and the stupid questions, like “do you get moose in town” and “where's the beach?””

Quatre laughed at the moose question and Trowa rolled his eyes at the ocean one.

“I mean, of course we get moose! We're surrounded by the woods. We're just glad we don't get a whole lot of bears, probably because there are too many people and there aren't a lot of campsites in the woods. We get a bull from time to time, but they just wander through. We mostly get white-tailed deer, foxes, raccoons, and porcupines for wildlife.”

Quatre stared at him with wide, shocked eyes.

“You have moose?!” he squeaked.

“I told you,” Duo chastised, “We don't get many, mostly deer. We're actually lucky that we don't live near lakes or ponds, or we'd get a lot more wildlife, especially bears and beavers. Beavers are cute, but they're a pain in the ass because they destroy everything. We get a ton of raccoons, though. On the streets, yun always had to be careful when yur goin' through the dumpsters. Nothin' worse `n stickin' yur hand in and getting nipped by a `coon. They l'ways travel in packs n' most of the time, thur rabid.”

The four boys stared at Duo in astonishment as his usually careful language devolved into an accent that Quatre and Wufei struggled to understand. Heero had witnessed it a few times when Duo talked about his past, especially if he wasn't exactly paying attention to what he was saying, and instantly felt worried, but Duo seemed fine with talking about his days on the streets. Heero wondered if Duo considered those times better than the ones he spent with Wes. Starving versus being raped… Heero didn't see how either of those could be considered an improvement over the other.

Suddenly, Wufei spotted him. Fai was standing by a bunch of vending machines, watching an overhanging flat screen television with wide eyes, as though he didn't know what to do with himself and Wufei realized that he really didn't. He immediately forgot his friends and ran over to his lover. Fai noticed him and lit up into a brilliant, relieved smile.

“Wufei,” he greeted, unsure of what to do, so he bowed slightly, “I'm so glad you could pick me up. I'm sorry, I know it was so sudden-,”

The Chinese boy squeaked as Wufei pulled him into a tight hug, a move neither of them would have dared in their home village.

“XÄ«n' ài,” Wufei breathed out, his fingers digging into Fai's dark blue shirt, “It is good to see you again.”

Discretion and a life time of manners and correctness weren't even enough to make Fai let go of his taller lover.

“It is good to see you, too, `Fei,” he murmured. Wufei was sure that his heart would explode with that nickname. He wanted very badly to kiss the boy in his arms, but even here, he knew it would not be appropriate. But he vowed that, once he was in his home or someplace else away from prying eyes, he would indulge himself.

The four other boys chased after Wufei and when they caught up with them, Heero couldn't help but study the unknown boy's features. At first, he was startled to find that he and Duo did seem alike. Wufei's boyfriend was small and thin, paler than Wufei, with long hair and bright, expressive eyes. Also, they shared the same shyness, Wufei's boyfriend seemed to want to hide behind him as they approached and Duo lagged behind, completely unsure of himself. It almost made him laugh. The more he looked, however, the more differences he could see between the two of them. Fai was just a little bit taller, Duo was paler, Fai's hair was several inches shorter, ending in his lower back while Duo's hair ended at his butt, Duo was thinner, and while Fai seemed unafraid to show how shy he was, Duo tried to pretend he didn't have problems in unfamiliar situations, or meeting new people. Also, as Fai turned to look at them, Heero noted that his long, jet black hair was pulled into a ponytail, not a beloved braid. Heero decided that he definitely preferred chestnut and violet to black and amber.

“This is Qiao Fai Jie,” Wufei introduced his lover to his friends, “Fai, this is Quatre Winner, Trowa Barton, Heero Yuy, and Duo Maxwell.”

Fai looked at the other boys with wide eyes the color of honeyed amber. Wufei worried that his boyfriend might try to bow to each of his friends, which would probably end up being awkward to everyone, but especially to Duo who wasn't used to the show of respect, but to Wufei's relief, Fai had the common sense to shake each of their hands.

“Hello,” the black haired boy said shyly.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Fai,” Quatre said with a brilliant smile, “It is alright to call you Fai?”

Fai nodded.

“It's fine,” he assured them, “I… I hope my English is adequate. I've been studying up on America, so I hope I don't do anything rude…”

Wufei smiled affectionately at him. It was just like Fai to study, not necessarily to learn, but to make sure he didn't offend anyone. It made things a lot easier; he didn't have to explain why certain… mannerisms that they used in China might seem backwards or too formal here.

“Your English is very good,” Duo told him, “I didn't have much of an education, so when I started school here, I had to learn to speak it properly and I know how difficult the language is.”

Fai seemed to brighten at that and Wufei wanted to groan. Trust his lover to see an ally in Duo, who was unthreatening and willing to be patient with pretty much anyone. Not that he could blame Fai for that, Duo was a very easy person to get along with.

“I'm actually surprised,” Fai mused, “'Fei has more friends here than he ever had back home. You must be good to him for him to have brought you to meet me.”

Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Duo all looked at each other and shrugged in unison which made Fai giggle, then blush harder at the noise.

“We should get going,” Trowa said, “I'm sure you're tired from your flight.”

“Yes, it was a long flight and I've never been on a plane before,” Fai confessed, “Am I really staying with you, `Fei?”

Wufei nodded happily.

“I will make up the guest room when we get there, but it's an hour drive, so you may want to sleep,” he told him. Fai smiled at him.

“That's alright, I want to see what you saw when you came here,” he said happily.

“Well, there's really nothing to see when you leave Bangor, especially when we get to St. Peters, just a lot of pine trees,” Duo told him as Wufei took Fai's things for him and Heero led them all back to his car. When Fai saw the silver car, he stared at it in shock. Their hometown, while up in the mountains, wasn't some hick town where they didn't even have electricity, they were just a very traditional community that enjoyed their isolation from busy city life, so Fai had seen cars, his own father had one, but the sleek Lamborghini was something else, it was so sleek and powerful looking, his inner child just wanted to tinker around and play with it. He knew that America had a lot of nice things, but he didn't think a car like that was common. He looked at Heero in awe as the Japanese boy unlocked the car.

“You really are a Yuy, aren't you?” he breathed. He had assumed that it was just a common last name, but with those blue eyes and that car… he had to be Name Yuy's son.

“It's no big deal,” Heero murmured, embarrassed and not wanting to show it. In the past, he would have flaunted that name to anyone who recognized him that way, but with Duo, who was in heaven with his one hundred dollar weekly paycheck, standing so close to him, it was hard to feel smug about his wealth. He just felt ashamed of it, like he had no right to feel proud of it with so many other people who were happy to settle for less.

Quatre smirked to himself. In less than a year, Heero had gone from egotistical about his family name to embarrassed about it. That was quite a feat. He didn't think that Heero should necessarily be ashamed of his status, but some healthy modesty had certainly done him some good. Fai certainly seemed impressed with him, but Quatre was sure that, if he and Heero had met when they had been old enough to understand the value of money, he would have been impressed with him, too.

Despite what his parents often told him, Fai wasn't an idiot, he knew who Heero Yuy and Quatre Raberba Winner were, and realizing he was in the presence of the heirs of two of the wealthiest families in the world, it made his blood chill. In a way, it was a good thing he didn't come from a rich family like Wufei had. No matter what he did, no matter how he acted, it wouldn't make things better or worse for himself, so he didn't have to worry about it, though he did resolve to not embarrass Wufei in front of his new friends.

He wondered if Trowa and Duo came from important families, too, though he didn't think so, especially Duo. He just didn't look like it. It wasn't that he looked like he had been yanked out of the gutter, he was a bit thin and pale, but then so was he, Duo just acted so… refreshingly down to earth, and his eyes looked so old… like he had seen and known things most people twice his age hadn't. Fai just couldn't help but wonder how Wufei, who was aggressive and closed off at the best of times, had accumulated so many different friends so quickly.

As Wufei, Fai, and Duo settled in the back seat of the car, Wufei finally gave in to the urge to kiss his boyfriend, not caring if any of his friends saw. Fai blushed a brilliant scarlet at the familiar, intimate touch, but was too needy for Wufei's affection to try to push him away. His fingers clung to Wufei's shirt desperately, his nervousness fading at the overwhelming feeling of their lips touching. It had been a hard few months away from his boyfriend. Fai's parents were very strict and trying to hide his homosexuality had always been hard, but going through the motions with Wufei to calm his frustrations had been unbearable.

Fai wished he had the courage to stay here with `Fei. America was strange to him, but now that he had his lover back in his arms, he found that he didn't really care about that. He had begged his parents for money to go see his “best friend”, but they had denied him the right every time. His father had told him that Wufei was an outcast, not just from his clan, but their entire culture, for disobeying the clan master and going to America only proved his decadence and lack of morals. Once his father had told him this, Fai had realized that he could either never see Wufei again or he would have to get the money on his own, which had led him to taking up three jobs to pay for the ticket.

Now the two way ticket was paid for, though it had taken him many months to save up for, he was broke, though he didn't really care. Maybe, his father was right and he was decadent and immoral, too, but he didn't care. He had made it here, and he was happy. Even if he had disobeyed his parents, weren't these feelings worth it? He smiled as Wufei put his hand over Fai's and squeezed gently. Even if he was broke, in a strange place, and had gone against his parents' wishes, he was going to enjoy his week with `Fei, no matter what.

Duo sat next to Wufei while Trowa sat up front with Quatre on his lap. It was incredibly illegal, at least Duo was sure it was, but there were only five seats for six people, and he doubted that Quatre and Trowa would call a taxi, and if Heero was bothered by the seating arrangement, he didn't say anything about it as he got back onto the highway, the silver car cutting through the lanes of traffic easily. Quatre giggled as Trowa wrapped his arms around his waist and softly kissed his neck. Duo looked over at Fai and Wufei, afraid he would find them necking, too, but they were just holding hands, whispering things in Mandarin, which almost made Duo laugh out loud. He wanted to point out that, if they were going to speak in their native tongue, they didn't need to whisper, instead, he felt a strange stab in his gut as he looked at them that completely destroyed his good mood.

The longer Duo stared at Wufei and Fai's linked hands, the more the pain in his stomach grew. He forced himself to look at the floor instead of the two other boys, but the pain didn't fade, even a little bit. In a car filled with his friends, he suddenly felt oddly alone. He knew that, when it came to intimate relationships, he was the odd man out. It was ironic. Sexually, he had more experience than everyone in the car combined, but when it came to things like boyfriends holding hands and kissing without anything else involved, he didn't really understand. All he knew was fucking, he didn't get why Wufei seemed so excited over a simple kiss. He hadn't met a single guy who thought foreplay like that was something spectacular. And holding hands didn't even fall on his radar of sexuality. Seeing such things made him want to know how it felt. He remembered how excited he had ever been, every time Heero had touched him, but that was different. He was sure that that had nothing to do with sex, because what he felt for Heero was better than that, right? But, even though he couldn't bear to think of his love for Heero as anything sexual, he wanted the sort of relationship that Wufei and Fai had. He wanted to be able to hold his hand and kiss him like that without anything between them, no guilt, no shame, no ghosts or darkness. He wanted to have the courage to accept that from Heero and yet… he knew that he never would. He couldn't even talk to him about how terrified he had been in Boston, thinking that Heero would die because of him, how could he ever have the strength to kiss him? He wanted to understand it… all these things he felt when he looked at Heero, how they overwhelmed him, gave him nightmares and hope at the same time. He wanted to ask Wufei how he had done it, where he had found that strength, but in the end… he knew he would never be like Fai, would never have someone to look at him that way, as though he were something special, something to be respected and loved. How could anyone think that way about him? He had his friends and that should be enough, especially when he was leaving some of them behind…they had to be enough.

The traffic going back into town wasn't nearly as bad as going into Bangor, so they got to Wufei's house before either of his parents were home, which was just fine with Wufei. He wanted to have a talk with Fai as soon as they were alone.

“It was nice to meet you!” Quatre called as Fai and Wufei left the car, waving to them and trying to shift into the back seat with Duo at the same time, “Wufei, you should bring him round to school tomorrow!”

Wufei nodded at him, feeling subdued and brimming with energy at the same time. Quatre and Duo watched as Wufei escorted his lover into the house.

“Well, that was odd,” Quatre murmured to himself.

“What?” Duo asked in confusion. He hadn't found anything about meeting Fai `odd', besides Wufei's readiness to abandon the teen just for a thing with him. He had seen the way Wufei had looked at his boyfriend, how could he possibly have thought Duo could give him that same sort of feeling? If he had something like that and had lost it… he knew that he would never be able to find something similar and would have given up miserably. But he could understand why Wufei would want to feel that way again, even if it his attempts had been a mile off.

“I guess I don't know what I was expecting,” Quatre mused, “Someone like Wufei I suppose, someone tough and aggressive, standoffish, but proud, but Fai wasn't like that at all. I guess it's true what they say, opposites attract.”

“It's a good thing,” Trowa chimed in, “Can you imagine if Wufei had a boyfriend who was just like him? They'd be insufferable. I like Wufei, he's a loyal friend, but he's like a bull at times, too proud to see when he's wrong and too willing to prove that his way is best. If they ever got into a fight, it would be endless. And maybe Fai is his opposite, he's soft spoken, modest, and polite, but he's just as smart as Wufei, you can see it in his eyes. He probably reads just as much as his boyfriend does.”

Duo settled in his seat and closed his eyes. `Opposites attract'… he had heard the saying several times before, but he had never put much stake in it. He had always thought that, the more you had in common with someone, the more likely you would get along, but Trowa was right, Wufei and Fai really seemed to compliment each other and they had very different personalities, and they were in love. Looking at his friends, he realized that it was true. He had practically nothing in common with Wufei, Quatre, and Heero, but they were great friends and he cared for all of them a lot. The only one that was close to him and his personality was Trowa. They were both quiet, studious, and loved animals, and their past experiences were fairly similar. However, even their similarities were different. Trowa wasn't quiet because he was afraid to speak, he just didn't like to speak unless he had something very important to say. Where Duo was interested in art, Trowa was interested in the sciences and mechanics. They both loved animals, but where Trowa wanted to be a vet, Duo didn't think he could ever handle having to put a patient down.

They were all so different, yet they got along so well, it was the same with Solo and the gang. They had similar experiences, but not exactly the same and their personalities were vastly different, yet, in the wide world of prostitutes that seemed destined to hate each other out of bitterness, they had found each other and clicked with ease. Duo supposed that the circumstances that had led him to meeting Shi that second time had helped them to integrate him into their gang, but he didn't know why they had banded together to begin with. Come to think of it… he had never really asked. There was so much he had never found out about all of them. They had all been too busy trying to survive, physically and mentally, to talk about their dark pasts. Or was that just an excuse? Didn't friends tell each other those things? Maybe… he hadn't really wanted to know because he had known they would only have painful things to tell him.

 

*****

 

Fai had decided a very long time ago that he would never be any sort of architect, though it was the family trade, mostly the manual bit. There were many differences between his house in China and Wufei's American home, but Fai couldn't really name most of them, it was just a feeling, something that his father would have scolded him about. To Fai, it was a house, a nice house at that, so the differences didn't really matter. The house was clean and functional, which, to him, was all that really mattered. It made him almost chuckle as he and Wufei brought up his luggage to the guest room. He and his boyfriend were like in that aspect. As long as something worked, there was little need to analyze it and worry over it, they were both very logical in that aspect, and if something was wrong, it had to be checked over until it was right again.

Wufei's parents had obviously brought a lot of things with them from China, so the house was probably not as Westernized as his friends' houses, Fai realized. They had many plants and the table in the living room was low, black lacquered, and several rooms had old, beautiful rugs that Fai remembered from the old house, but there were many things that were different, too. The one thing he noticed before anything else were the high chairs and tables that had obviously come with the house. The walls were a soothing cream color, very unlike the dramatic reds and greens most of their villages' homes were done in. The floors were not completely covered, and as they walked the hallway to the guest room, Fai yearned for the mats his own home was covered in, the cold wood feeling odd on his feet.

The guest room was, thankfully, completely covered by an old, hand-woven red, green, and blue rug, but the bed gave him pause. Everything seemed different in here, the closet's shape, the windows, even the light fixtures, but the bed was the most obvious. He had heard of a few families that had Westernized themselves with high beds, but his family had stuck with the futon as their house was small and the futons were often used as `couches' and chairs, as well as beds. It made him nervous, wondering why Westerners would like sleeping so high off the ground. Didn't they worry about falling off?

Wufei smirked a little as he watched his lover eye the room like a little kid seeing a dog for the first time, wanting to pet it, but afraid it would end up biting him.

“It took me a month to get used to the beds here,” Wufei told him, “I always thought that Americans had bars around the bed, so they wouldn't fall out in their sleep, and the people we knew that had beds like this had just put it together wrong. It wasn't until we came here that my mother told me only hospitals have things like that. I haven't fallen off, yet, though. If you're that uncomfortable with it, I can get out one of our futons.”

Fai shook his head; making free bits of hair frame his thin face. The flight had been long and he had ended up dozing off in his seat, but he had been nervous and had tossed and turned, turning his hair into a mess. He had tried to fix it as best he could, but in the small space, he had done a poor job of it and his ponytail was still a mess. Wufei thought that the wisps of ebony hair were beautiful and he wanted to kiss Fai again, but this time he fought against it. He had something he needed to do first, even if it was hard, even if it made Fai never want to talk to him again. The risk of that was enough to make him hesitate, but he knew this was something he had to do. He didn't want to have half a relationship.

“I'll try the bed,” Fai said. If Wufei was going to sleep in a bed, he should try it, too. They put all his things away quickly and Fai tried sitting on the bed, frowning as he realized it was comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. The only logical application of this bed that he could think of was if there was a flood, it would take longer for you to get wet, but if there was an earthquake, you had longer and further to fall. He winced. He knew that California had earthquakes, but did New England?

Wufei took a deep breath as he sat next to Fai. This was the last thing that he wanted to do, but he knew it was right. What had Duo said? Something about the poisoning nature of lies, hidden or known. He knew that Duo was right and he never wanted to fail Fai ever again. Fai felt the warmth of his lover's arm near his and put his hand over Wufei's, frowning when the slightly taller boy pulled his hand away. He had been so receptive in the car, so why was he so hesitant now that they were alone?

“'Fei?” he murmured in confusion. Wufei blushed, embarrassed by what he was about to confess.

“I need to say something,” Wufei informed him, “Please… don't interrupt me, no matter what I say.”

At the horrified look on his lover's face, Wufei immediately backtracked.

“I'm not breaking up with you!” he assured him, “What I have to say… it's my fault, not yours. If you want to break up with me… I won't be happy, I'll certainly be miserable, but I'll understand. I don't want to lie to you or keep things from you, not ever. We have a good, healthy relationship and I want to keep that.”

“Just tell me,” Fai begged, noticing that his usually very eloquent boyfriend was rambling a little. Wufei took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

“I kissed someone,” he blurted out.

Fai stared at him, unable to connect the words that had come out of his boyfriend with the actual person.

“You… what?” he whispered. His pain, sharp and echoing in his chest, matched with Wufei's.

“I kissed someone… Duo… I kissed Duo,” Wufei was hesitant to use Duo's name, feeling that he was causing trouble for the American, but he had already decided to tell his boyfriend the entire truth. Fai's fingers dug into the sheets and he looked at the floor, blinking away the tears collecting in his amber eyes.

“Why?” he demanded, “I know you still love me… so why would you do such a thing?” Fai wanted to hate the violet-eyed boy for this instead of his boyfriend, but he wasn't that kind of person. Duo hadn't looked like the sort who would do that, and Wufei had said “I”, not “Duo”.

Besides, he was pissed at Wufei. He had traveled all this way to find that his boyfriend had done this… he tried to tell himself it was just a kiss, but even if it was more than that, it hurt the same. His family didn't respect him, he had no friends, Wufei was all he had, the best that he had. He wanted to trust him.

“It was just a kiss, one kiss, it never went beyond that! Duo hadn't known I had a boyfriend and even then, he wasn't interested in me,” Wufei tried to soothe Fai's hurt feelings, but his words sounded like hollow excuses, even to him.

“When I told him about you, he was furious. So, it wasn't Duo's fault. I guess… beyond anything else, I was lonely. I know that sounds stupid, but it is true. I know it was dangerous for me to stay in China, but I hadn't wanted to leave. I hadn't wanted to leave you. When I came here, I was so angry. I was so sure I had lost you. Your father would never allow me to even contact you. I felt completely alone. I hated everything about this place, I hated my parents for bringing me here, and I hated myself for getting caught to begin with. Then I met Duo. I thought… he looked like you, acted like you, with him… I could have what I had with you. I think… deep down, I knew it was useless, I was hunting down ghosts. In the end, it didn't matter. I kissed him and he refused me, over and over. It finally came to me, he couldn't be you. Duo could never be you.”

Wufei's voice was mournful and full of regret, but his remorse did nothing to ease Fai's anger at his boyfriend's actions. He shoved him almost completely off the bed and stood, striding towards the door and then stopped in the middle to turn back towards the bed and glare at Wufei. His anger hurt the other boy, but Wufei couldn't help but think that the fire in Fai's eyes was sexy and beautiful.

“How could you do this?!” he demanded, not screaming, his voice more like ice and Wufei almost shivered at it.

“I'm sorry!” he apologized, wanting to hug Fai, but didn't dare touch him unless he was given permission, “I'm sorry I kissed him-,”

“I'm not mad about that!” Fai snapped, “This isn't you!”

Wufei stared at him in shock.

“This isn't the Chang Wufei I fell in love with!” Fai ranted, “The Wufei I know would never let himself be defeated so easily! He would have fought and fought, never giving up until the day he died! When you found out you were gay, you could have given up then. You could have married into the Long family like your clan wanted you to. Instead, you defied them and we found each other. It was tough and painful, but we made this relationship work, through hard work and sacrifice. Now, you tell me that the second you come here, you lost hope in us, you gave up, without even trying!” Fai had been so proud of his English, he had resolved to make Wufei proud of him, too, by speaking it the entire week he was here, but as he yelled, his clipped English melted into accented, smooth Mandarin, which grew thick as he started to cry.

Wufei practically ran to him, permission be damned, and hugged his lover tightly, feeling relieved when he relaxed into his embrace rather than pushing him away.

“I'm sorry, you're right,” he murmured, “I should have found a way to see you again. I was weak… so very weak and I did you a grave injustice. I'll never be able to make this up to you, I know that, but I promise, I'll be stronger…”

Fai sniffed, hating himself for crying, but he was tired and felt overwhelmed from being in a different country and having Wufei hurt him for the first time in their relationship. But weren't ups and downs like this normal in any relationship? Even if it wasn't, he knew what he wanted.

“I don't want to break up with you. I'm angry, and sad, but like you said,” Fai said in English, “You knew you were wrong and weak, and corrected yourself. If I punish you for something you've already tried to fix, it wouldn't just be pointless, I'd be punishing myself too. I'm not saying I forgive you for giving up on this relationship, but I don't want this to become something huge between us. My time here is far too short for that.”

“Thank you,” Wufei said as he let go of his boyfriend. Fai snorted.

“Don't thank me. I'm just too much of a coward to be alone and, even though I'm angry because I never gave up, I guess I can understand.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, your parents are wrong,” Wufei scolded, “You're not stupid and you're certainly not a coward. Look at how easily I gave into my loneliness, but all this time, you were fighting. That's why I love you, even when things go bad, you're so optimistic. It makes me believe in you, and all things you are so hopeful about.”

Fai smiled at him.

“Come on,” Wufei urged, putting an arm around Fai's slim shoulders, feeling his amazed joy come back to him when his boyfriend didn't shrug him off, “I don't want to talk about this anymore. I promised I'd give you a tour of the house.”

Fai let him lead him out of the room, not wanting to think about bad things anymore, either. He had meant what he had said. This week was too short for him to be angry with Wufei forever. He accepted that Wufei had done something wrong and hurtful, and it would take him a while to forgive him for it, but he still loved him, with all of his heart, and he wanted to feel that love for as long as he could because he knew, as soon as he returned to his family, all he would feel was sadness, anger…and regret.

 

*****

 

By the time Fai went to sleep that night, he was so tired; he didn't even worry about the bed. It was nice meeting Wufei's parents again. Chang Zhi and Lian had always been kind to him and Fai wondered if they had always known about his and Wufei's relationship. To his relief, both dinner and breakfast were foods that he easily recognized, though Zhi confessed he wanted Wufei to pick up pizza for dinner, since both he and his wife would not be home in time for dinner. Fai had responded that it was fine, he liked trying new things. Now that he was here and well rested, he was ready to try to be more flexible in this new and strange country.

Wufei's mother had already asked Mr. Khushrenada about Fai looking in on Wufei's classes and he had agreed, so Fai caught a ride with Wufei's friends, too. Fai was happy to see the other boys again. He and Wufei hadn't had many friends back home, so it was interesting to see Wufei interact with the four boys. He was nervous about seeing Duo, though. He remembered how nice Duo had been to him the day before, and he wasn't really angry at the teenager, but it was strange, knowing that his boyfriend was friends with the boy he had kissed.

Fortunately, though he had ended up sitting next to Duo, the long haired boy had slept through the car ride, his head against the window. Fai studied him for a moment and realized that he wasn't really angry at all, Duo looked too vulnerable and innocent curled up and asleep for him to dredge up any ill will towards him. He looked so young, like a little kid instead of a teenager, he just felt mad that Wufei had gone after him for such a superficial reason. He wondered if Wufei's actions had hurt Duo in their falseness. Maybe, if Wufei had confessed to truly loving Duo, Fai would have been able to accept it better, but chasing after someone, claiming that you loved them when you where just using them as a replacement was so cold. He should be siding with his boyfriend, he realized, but in this case, he couldn't do something like that.

“He's been… sick lately,” Quatre tried to explain as he caught Fai looking at Duo, sitting like he had yesterday, on Trowa's lap next to Heero, “He sleeps a lot now.”

“Shouldn't he go to the doctor?” Fai asked worriedly. He couldn't imagine being tired enough to fall asleep during a short car ride. He had only managed to fall asleep in the plane because he hadn't felt it moving while it flew. Wufei had said that he and Duo looked alike. Did he look like that when he slept, too? He hoped he didn't, he didn't like the thought that he could look so… vulnerable.

“Well, yes, he should,” Quatre said bitterly, “But he's too stubborn to ever ask for help when he needs it. Duo's the sort of person who would rather suffer and be miserable than ever admit that he's hurting.”

Fai noticed how Heero's shoulders seemed to flinch at Quatre's words, but couldn't figure out why, so he ignored it. He shouldn't really be shocked at Duo's behavior, Fai realized. Wufei was the same way, or at least his actions were. Even if he was sad or in pain, Wufei seldom ever admitted it because he was too proud and believed that admitting weakness was an insult to his character. Fai didn't think that Duo was like that, he certainly hadn't acted arrogant towards him yesterday, it seemed like he was more unwilling to bother anyone or rely on other people to solve his problems for him.

The longhaired foreigner had heard of people with so-called `internal clocks', who didn't seem to need to be told the time, they just knew it instinctively, or if not the specific time, an increment of time. His own mother had it, whenever she cooked, she never needed to set a timer or look at a clock, she just knew when the food was ready. Duo must've had the same thing, Fai mused, because he woke only a few minutes before Heero parked the car at school.

He felt a spark of bitterness towards the American as he stretched in the car. He didn't hate him, he didn't, he kept on telling himself, but the chestnut haired boy certainly was attractive and though Wufei had said that Duo reminded him of Fai, he couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious. He was far out of his element here and he desperately wanted something to ground him. Duo suddenly felt Fai staring at him and smiled back at him before getting out of the car. Fai blinked at him with wide eyes, feeling disarmed just as suddenly as he had felt defensive. It was clear to him, then, how Wufei had been able to make friends with the same boy he had embarrassed himself with.

Usually, Wufei was like a cat that had fallen off a coffee table, whenever he shamed himself, he acted like nothing had happened and he was just as infallible as always, distancing himself from anything that reminded him of his weakness, but this time, he had gotten closer instead of running away. Maybe it was because Duo didn't act like he wanted Wufei to feel ashamed, or just because he acted so… well, inoffensive, but Fai was hard-pressed to feel threatened by Duo's personality. Others would have thrown Wufei's infidelity in his face, Fai was sure, but Duo hadn't even brought it up or seemed to be hiding anything at all. Even though Duo's western good-looks made him question himself, it wasn't like Duo was deliberately bringing it to his attention.

Fai followed Wufei into the school like an obedient child, which was exactly what he felt like. He had no idea what to do and felt like a complete alien. He was exactly that, but he just knew that Wufei hadn't had this much trouble when he had come here. It wasn't in his boyfriend's nature to be anything but strong and to strive towards the illusion of perfection. Fortunately, Wufei's friends continued to include him in their conversations and, little by little, he realized that their presence made him feel less awkward. Duo even took up Wufei's job in showing Fai around, giving him little tidbits here and there about certain rooms and how to find his way around the school if they ever got separated. When Duo was being so nice to him, Fai couldn't help but smile back at him, feeling a bit surer of himself. After all, Wufei had chosen him in the long run, and even if he made a fool of himself, he was suddenly sure that the four boys would help him out.

To Fai's relief, Wufei shared a ton of classes with Quatre and Duo. It was strange to realize it, but Fai felt more at ease around the two boys who were around his height. Having to look up whenever Trowa and Heero spoke was daunting and the American's and Arab's personalities were very comforting. Duo certainly wasn't the typical selfish, egotistical, rude American that his parents had warned him about. He loved Wufei more than anyone else in the world, even his family, but his boyfriend could be dense to his insecurities sometimes. Yet, Duo seemed to always pick up on them and Fai couldn't understand why. The braided boy seemed so competent; he couldn't understand why he would ever be insecure about anything.

He was even more relieved when the first of Wufei's teachers, a tall, beautiful woman with dark brown hair, didn't bother to introduce him. Back home, that would have been rude, but he could tell that she had sensed his shyness and he was grateful. He would rather just melt into the crowd. She was a good teacher, vibrant and well-spoken on her subject, but Fai could tell that the material was lacking, yet several students seemed to be struggling along anyway. He had heard stereotypes about Americans being lazy, but he had thought that their schools would be just like in China. His faith in Americans was rejuvenated when he glanced over at Duo, who was sitting close to him and his other friends, seemed to be just as bored as he was.

Fai quickly noticed that he wasn't the only one who kept glancing over at Duo during the lesson. In the next row over, sitting a few seats behind Duo was a very tall, severe looking boy with long hair that kept looking over at Duo with an intense glare. This confused him, since he couldn't find a single reason why anyone would be angry with Duo, who seemed so nice. Duo didn't seem to notice the boy's looks at all, concentrating on taking notes. Fai wasn't even sure why Duo was bothering with the notes, he didn't seem to have any trouble with the subject, yet he was diligent in making sure he got everything down that was written on the board, almost as though he was frantic to keep a record of what was being discussed. Fai wondered if Duo had a friend that was sick or if the homework would be so hard, he was afraid he would forget something.

Classes went by at a snail's pace and Fai quickly realized that American school was very different than what he was used to. The teachers were more laid back and the subject matter was more watered down, even the History lessons. He had thought that he would welcome a more relaxed education, but even though he was only sitting in on the classes for one day, he found that he was immensely bored. The only class he found remotely useful was English, but not by much. Gym was far too… barbaric for his tastes. He had never been terribly athletic, but the way the other boys tried to dominate each other with such a thirst for victory robbed any enjoyment he felt over exercise. His only saving grace was how clear it was that Quatre and Duo seemed to hate it, too.

The only class that Wufei had by himself was, ironically, also the only class that Fai had been banned from sitting in on because they were taking a test and the teacher had been paranoid about Fai helping Wufei to cheat. Normally, Fai would have been irritated with the remark, demanding that he was not so dishonorable, but this time he just nodded and informed Wufei he would be in the parking lot since it was the last class of the day. He was glad for the break anyway. He felt so bored with this whole process, how could his lover stand it? If all school was like this, he certainly didn't feel prepared for college, or to get a job.

Fai wandered out into the parking lot and leaned against the brick wall of the school. It was a perfect day out, the sun shining brightly in the powder-blue sky, a light breeze eliminating any severe heat; he could even hear some sparrows singing as they flew overhead. He couldn't wait for Wufei to be done with his school day. He wanted to go out and see the landmarks in the town, maybe see what restaurants were available for tomorrow. He hadn't made lunch for himself, wanting to buy from the school cafeteria to see what American food was like and had been severely disappointed. Both Wufei and Duo had advised him that it wasn't a good idea, but he had tried it anyway.

Having heard about American burgers and fries, he had decided to stick with that and had ended up getting something so greasy and unpalatable; he had nearly made himself sick. Wufei had explained to him that even he couldn't stand the cafeteria food and it wasn't really like restaurant food, so cheap that even Americans had to choke it down. Fortunately, he had thought ahead and had made an extra salad for him, which had tasted much better. This whole trip, thus far, had not turned out how he had expected, yet he found himself enjoying it anyway.

The door to the parking lot suddenly flung open a group of students rushed out, chatting and laughing loudly. Fai frowned. There should still be thirty minutes left to school, so why were so many students rushing out? Suddenly, he spotted Duo, who walked over to him with a warm smile.

“Out here all alone?” Duo asked him and, for the first time, Fai took a proper look at the other boy, took a good long look in his eyes. Fai was sure that, even here in the west, very few people had that eye color. But it was the look, deep down in it that held his attention, something… off. Like seeing a nine year old in a business suit. In that young face, such a mature look didn't belong. It seemed so worn down, and it made Fai almost shiver. He gave Duo a small nod, feeling an itch start to build up in between his shoulders as he realized that he really was alone out here with just him and Duo.

“Why are you out so early?” he asked. Duo shrugged.

“Someone in the one of the labs blew something up. There's smoke in that one hallway, so they dismissed my class to air out the rooms. Fortunately, it's just a lot of smoke, no fire,” he explained. Fai marveled at the way Duo spoke, slow and careful, like he and Wufei, like he was actually concentrating on how he was speaking. It was weird, considering that Duo had been born here. He remembered Duo telling him something about learning English at the airport, but he hadn't elaborated on it and it just served to flare up Fai's curiosity. He suddenly realized that he didn't really know very much at all about Wufei's American friend.

“That sort of thing happen a lot?” he asked, wanting to keep up the small talk, stalling so he could think about his next course of action.

“Not a ton,” Duo told him, “This isn't a private school, so the equipment's ancient, but Mr. Khushrenada sees to it that all the safety precautions are followed, even if it costs a little bit extra. Someone just put in the wrong chemical this time. Mr. K's a good man,” he said wistfully, sounding far away in his thoughts. Fai looked over at him and quickly made his decision. If he was going to say this, he had to do it before the other classes were dismissed.

“Wufei told me about what happened between the two of you,” Fai winced at his own wording, realizing he was making it sound like the two boys had really had an affair, “I mean, what happened when the two of you first met, before you became friends.”

This time, it was Duo who winced, but he didn't deny anything or try to walk away. Fai's respect for the other boy went up a few more notches. He knew that if someone had tried to say these things to him, he would be itching to get away from the conversation. Duo rubbed at the back of his neck.

“He told you… everything?” he ventured cautiously. He had told Wufei that he should just tell Fai everything, but it looked like that wonderful little piece of advice was going to blow up in his face. Still, he had meant what he had said about telling the truth. In reality, telling Heero and Name the truth had been the best thing for him and he was sure that the same principle existed for every relationship. Besides, he didn't want to be that guy, the one that had to hide this secret from his friend's boyfriend and feel like he had done something wrong when, for once, he really hadn't.

But none of that meant he wanted to tell Fai the truth himself. This was Wufei's lover and it would look immensely bad if he told Fai about the kiss when Wufei hadn't yet. It would be better if Wufei was the one who did it anyway because Duo had been so sick at the time, he still didn't remember all that had happened, just that he had been in pain and miserable and Wufei had kissed him. After that, he had blacked out. He assumed that Wufei had taken him to the nurse's office right away since he knew the boy well enough now to know he, usually, did the right thing, the honorable thing.

“Yes, he told me about the kiss,” Fai said, reading Duo's look easily. Duo felt his hair stand on end and wondered if this boy, who he had hoped would become another on his short list of friends, was challenging him or something. He couldn't think of a reason why Fai would bring this up unless he wanted to… fight him or something.

“Look,” he said slowly, defensively, “I know this is going to sound like an excuse, but I don't know exactly what Wufei said and you need to know, I had no idea Wufei had a boyfriend until yesterday. If I had known he was already taken-,”

“You would have reacted in exactly the same way,” Fai said with a soft smile. Duo stared at him in confusion.

“How else would you have reacted? You rejected him every time he made a move, even before you knew about me, so what else would you have done?” Fai pointed out.

“I would have slapped him for going after me when he had a dedicated lover already,” Duo grumbled, “I understand why he did it, but… I just can't imagine him doing something that stupid.”

Fai smirked at that.

“Well, I'm not forgiving him any time soon, but I understand also. I was very lonely, too,” he murmured.

“But that's just my point!” Duo protested, “I mean, you two love each other and you were both in the same situation! I would have done anything to see the one I loved again! I guess, since I've never been in a relationship, I see it as something… sacred. I don't think I would have ever forgiven him, even slightly!”

Fai smiled sadly.

“When you fall in love, you find that you do a lot of things you had once thought you never would. I find it hard to believe you've never dated… you're so…” he struggled with his words, “Well, one day you'll understand it. I do cherish what I have with Wufei and I know he does, too. I'm sure he won't do something like this again, even if the doubt that he would terrifies me. But, can I ask you something personal?”

“Sure,” Duo said, blushing as he thought over Fai's words. Was it really so shocking that he had never dated anyone before? Hell, he doubted he ever would date anyone. Just the thought of going after anyone, knowing that he loved Heero like he did… there was just no getting over that love, so how could he possibly date anyone else? That thought depressed him deeply, especially with the proof of a loving relationship standing right next to him.

“Why did you turn him down?” Fai asked, “Maybe I'm biased, but Wufei is attractive and smart. Were you so turned off by his stubbornness, or is there another reason? Are you not gay, because Wufei never said that.”

Duo bit back a laugh. He remembered that he and Heero had had a conversation like this… oh, so long ago. What had he told him? He couldn't remember, it was too long ago, but he did remember telling Heero that his sexuality wasn't the issue and that was still the case. He still wasn't so sure if he was really gay or not. It was hard to pinpoint a preference when you had only ever loved one person.

“I'm not exactly sure what my preference is,” Duo admitted, “I've never liked any girls, but I'm not positive I'm gay, either. I'm just not attracted to Wufei at all, and forcing himself on me the way he did didn't endear him to me any. He's a good friend, and I'm sure he's a great boyfriend, but I don't feel anything when I look at him.”

Fai caught the way Duo blushed and how his eyes got this contemplative far off look, like he was comparing what he felt for Wufei to something else… it clicked in Fai's mind like two pieces of a puzzle. Duo had said he didn't feel anything for girls, but he hadn't said that about boys, which meant that there was a boy he knew he was attracted to. His smile turned softer, seeing an ally in manners of love standing right in front of him.

“You're smitten, aren't you?” he said, almost teasingly. Duo stared at him with wide eyes.

“Oh, god is it that obvious?” he demanded.

“A little,” Fai admitted, “It's just, when you talk about being in a relationship, you look so distracted. That's usually a sign that someone is thinking about something they want, something that is distracting. I won't insult you by asking who it is, it isn't my place, but I can see why you turned down Wufei so readily, without so much as a consideration. I'm grateful to you, even though you didn't know he had a boyfriend.”

Duo, still embarrassed at how easily Fai had realized that he was in love with someone, and immensely worried that if Fai and Trowa had figured it out, his other friends might figure it out, too, simply shrugged. The two of them lapsed into a friendly silence, feeling a little more relieved that there was no animosity between them. Duo's thoughts whirled, going over everything ever since he had met Heero, looking for moments where his affection for the other boy might have been obvious, but he couldn't find anything. So how was it that someone that had only known him for two days had pinpointed it so easily?

The only thing that gave him any solace was that Fai didn't know it was Heero. It was fine if his friends knew there was someone he liked, but he thought he would die of shame if they knew it was Heero. He was still shocked that Trowa had accepted his feelings for their friend so readily, but how would Quatre, Wufei, or Heero himself, react to the news? It made him feel literally sick to his stomach just thinking about it, his insides clenching and quivering violently.

Duo nearly jumped at the sound of the bell announcing that classes were over. Fai looked at him in concern, wondering if Duo was always so tense that loud noises scared him. Once again, he felt a strong curiosity towards his new friend, wondering how he had become friends with THE Heero Yuy. He knew it was rude to want to know so much about another's personal life, so he would never ask, but he still burned to know those things.

“You won't tell the others, even Wufei, about… what you figured out, will you?” Duo asked nervously.

“It's not my place,” Fai assured him, “My culture teaches that such grave perusals into another's personal life, let alone spreading such information to others, is very rude and disrespectful.”

Duo smiled at him.

“It must be nice. In this country, your business is everyone's business. The press here are all about `it's the public's right to know', but really, I've never understood that. Unless it relates to everyone personally, like a health hazard, they don't have that right,” he said, his voice tight with irritation, “Every time I turn on the news or see one of those tabloid magazines, it bothers me. Those magazines even have stories about my friendship with Heero. I've read a few of them and some of the things they say… it must be nice to be from a place where something like that would be frowned upon instead of clamored after like a prime piece of meat.”

Fai chuckled.

“Well, it's not all good, but I see your point. It must be hard being friends with someone so famous,” he mused.

“Not really,” Duo admitted, “Heero's mom is all about privacy and she tries really hard to make sure I don't get abused just because I'm his friend. When I first went over his house, I was absolutely terrified of her! But now… she's wonderful. She's the best mother I could ever hope for.”

Fai frowned at that strange remark.

“Well, I would like to meet her. In any case, I would never share personal information of yours to anyone. Even if it weren't a part of my culture, it would only hurt you and I don't want to do that,” he said.

“Wufei really is lucky to have you,” Duo mused, “Not only are you beautiful and smart but you're kind, too.”

Fai blushed darkly and opened his mouth to protest. Him, pretty and smart? He just couldn't see himself that way, what with how his parents talked to him like he was an idiot, an unwanted rat in the room, and how, year after year, girls turned down his parents' attempts at having him wed because he wasn't very masculine, because he was too short, his figure not suitable for a strong, father role. To hear Duo of all people say that he was pretty was beyond odd.

“He's right you know,” a very familiar voice chimed in from behind Duo before Fai could say anything. Duo had heard Wufei walk up behind him, so he didn't jump this time, but hated it when someone was behind him, where he couldn't see them, so he turned to greet him.

“Maybe you should tell him that more often,” he scolded. Wufei looked at him with a shocked expression.

“If he's so surprised at being complimented, you obviously aren't doing your job as his boyfriend!” Duo continued to rant. Wufei's look softened and he stared at Fai, his eyes only for him.

“Of course, you're right,” he murmured. Duo watched with a pained expression as Wufei, his expression filled with love, walked up to Fai and cupped his cheek.

“You are beautiful,” he told him, his voice husky with affection. Duo hastily looked away, not wanting to intrude.

Pain ripped through his heart at Wufei's words, words that he knew he would never hear, especially not from who he wanted, their voice filled with such… longing, such deep, unfaltering love. He would never have something like that, and, even if he didn't quite understand it, he wanted it. As he heard people walk up to them, he forced his face back into neutrality, though it was hard. Trowa, with Quatre and Heero trailing behind him, gave Duo a studying look, but didn't say anything and Duo wondered if he suspected anything.

“Ready to go?” the tall Italian asked.

“Yeah,” Wufei said, dropping his hand down to hold Fai's, “I wanted to take Fai to the public library, if that's ok with you, Heero?”

Duo's eyes widened.

“Shit!” he suddenly yelled, making all of them flinch. If Trowa hadn't been standing right next to Duo, Heero would have rushed over to him and demanded what was wrong.

“I forgot my book!” he said in a panic.

“What book?” Trowa asked soothingly, trying to calm Duo down. When it came to anxiety, Duo went off so easily, bordering on hyperactive. If he wasn't usually so anxious about serious things, it would be funny, but it was often just alarming.

“The book we have to check out of the school library today for History! I completely forgot! If I don't get it today, I'm never going to have the time to work on that project!” Duo was nearly vibrating with nervous energy at this point and Trowa rolled his eyes.

“I swear, you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached,” he admonished gently, making Quatre giggle, “We'll go back with you, then.”

Wufei smirked.

“Duo forgets things all the time,” he whispered to Fai, who looked surprised.

“Really? He doesn't look like he would be the type to be so absent minded,” he murmured.

“I know, but Duo's the most forgetful person I know,” Wufei said, thinking back to their trip into Boston and how Duo had gotten lost in the hotel because he had forgotten their room number. He could no longer count the number of times he had witnessed Duo forgetting one of his school books or the due date of some paper. He sometimes even forgot what time it was a couple minutes after looking at a clock. It was unnerving considering that Duo was usually so responsible.

If Duo heard any of this, he gave no indication, running back into the school with Quatre, Trowa, and Heero chasing after him.

“We'll be right back!” Quatre called with a cheery smile.

Wufei snorted as his friends disappeared into the school. You would think that after what had happened in Boston, Quatre would have stopped trying to set his friends up in romantic situations, he mused, but then again, Quatre was like the morning sun and `hope springs eternal'. He certainly wasn't as blind as Heero and Duo were, there was no other reason why all of them had to escort Duo to the school library unless Quatre was trying to give him and Fai some `alone time'. He didn't know if he was irritated by it or glad.

“They're not very subtle, are they?” Fai said in amusement.

“Well, at least Quatre isn't,” Wufei smirked, “Duo's been bullied a lot in the past, so I can see why Trowa went with him, it's just a good idea to be in a group right now and not leave Duo alone, and Heero's overprotective on a good day.”

“Why would anyone want to bully Duo?” Fai asked in surprise. Duo was so nice, down to earth and patient; he didn't see how he could possibly rub someone the wrong way.

“He's different. That's enough of a reason,” Wufei said bitterly.

Fai found that he didn't really have anything to say to that. Duo was certainly different, in a way, he thought, that he and Wufei, and all of Wufei's friends were different. He could see it in the way their classmates looked at them, in the way that none of them, in their own way, fit in. Even if America was strange to him, he knew, back home, Wufei and he were different, too. It was just one of those universal concepts. So, being poor and not really intimidating at all, Fai understood what it was like to be picked on because you set people on edge by being unpredictable and confusing, and also incapable of defending yourself.
Fai's heart sped up as his lover stood in front of him, brushing his knuckles over his cheek and he had to fight to keep his eyes from closing in bliss. He tried to remind himself that he was still angry at him, but with Wufei so close to him, his fingers on his skin, it was impossible.

“I meant what I said,” Wufei murmured, “You are beautiful and smart, no matter what anyone says. I guess I really don't tell you that as much as I should.”

Fai realized that his boyfriend was leaning closer to try to kiss him and hesitated.

“'Fei, not here,” he protested.

“Its fine,” Wufei insisted, “Almost everyone has gone home. No one will see us.”

“You should listen to your boyfriend more, Chang Wufei,” a feminine voice said in a strict tone. Wufei whirled around, irritated at being spied on, but his anger quickly turned to shock. Watching the two of them with the studious look of an eagle was a girl of Chinese descent, about his size but older, her eyes jet black instead of his dark brown, or Fai's amber. She was a girl he had not seen in the better part of four years.

“M-Meiran!” he stuttered. Fai looked just as shocked as he did. He had met Long Meiran a few times, but enough that her presence here was shocking. Just looking at her now had Wufei thinking he had been thrown into the past and he was just a silly, twelve-year old boy again. However, though four years had not changed his older cousin by much, she was not the same. Gone were the formal, rich dresses their family had made her wear and gone were the pigtails of a young teenaged girl. In their place was a much more mature free fall of night-black hair that suited her much better, though she hadn't grown much in height.

“Long,” Fai whispered, bowing deeply towards her. Meiran smiled kindly at him.

“It's Ms. Long, Fai, and there is no need to bow. I am no longer in a station for such things,” Meiran's eyes, always piercing as a child and now that she was an adult even more so, fell on Wufei.

“It's been a long time, Wufei,” she said.

“It's been four years, cousin,” he clarified, “What are you doing in America. The last I heard, you were still living with your husband in China.”

In a round about way, it was because of Meiran that his parents had been so worried about his own safety once his sexuality had come out. The Long clan and the Chang clan had been of the same status, so, when Wufei had been born, the head of the Chang family had made a deal with the Long head to marry Wufei to Meiran when he was old enough. This marriage had been a big deal in both clans and, as children, though they had been four years apart, Wufei and Meiran had become close friends and had played with each other often. But, in the entire time they had known each other; neither of them had ever been attracted to each other.

They had always been completely different, and not like how he was different from Fai. He and Meiran, while remaining good friends, had often fought, violently. They were both too stubborn and Meiran, though she had never wanted to disappoint her family, had always been an individual, never capable of settling down into the role of a `female' like her parents wanted her to. If he really though about it, even back then, Wufei had never had any interest in the opposite sex. He had spent more time playing with boys than ever even considering his role as a potential husband, or that women were anything but simple members of a family unit.

Now, Wufei realized that it had been fairly obvious, even at twelve, where his interests would end up lying when he was older. At that age, Meiran had called off their engagement, saying that he would never be a suitable husband or leader of their clan and had been married off to his cousin. When his sexuality had finally come to light, Wufei, along with the leader of his clan, had realized that Meiran had attempted to give him a way out, trying to pass off the leadership to his cousin, though she had only ended up shaming herself by doing so. He couldn't help but feel guilty about all the damage he had caused, but he still couldn't see himself marrying his now cousin and becoming leader of his entire family.

“I am no longer married to your cousin anymore, so there is no need for you to call me that,” Meiran informed him, “Or, at least, I do not consider myself to be married to him. You know that the Long clan does not recognize divorces, though I did have it approved officially, I know my father did not accept it. I only married your cousin to keep the heat off you, but once you became old enough to realize things on your own, and since father had no intention of recognizing my husband as the heir to the Chang legacy, there was no point in continuing the charade. I suppose I am a coward in this way, but I never desired to be married off like a pretty piece of antique jewelry and I knew neither of our clans would ever allow me to do as I wished, so I came here.”

Wufei stared at her with wide eyes, taking in everything she was saying. Even though she confessed to not being related to him anymore, he still felt like she was family. For so long, she had been his only friend and he had relied on her so deeply. When she had left him to become a wife, he had become depressed and had thought he would never find another worthy friend. Deep down, he had always known she was just not suited to being tied down by motherhood and marriage and was glad she had managed to find a way to be true to herself. It would have been an injustice, a betrayal, for a spirit like Meiran's to be broken because their families could not accept her as an individual.

“It must have been hard for you,” Fai said sympathetically, “It took me so long to find a way to come here and I'm just visiting.”

“A recently single, Chinese teenager with no family and no work-related skills coming to this foreign country?” she said with a bitter chuckle, “Yes, I suppose you could say it was difficult for me. I was increasingly lucky that my request to become an American was not denied because I had no family here and had little money. It was also pure luck that I managed to find myself here. Mr. Khushrenada was very kind to my situation and I will always be grateful that he found a job for me. If not, I would be living on the streets, or worse.”

Wufei shuddered, remembering Duo's account of what had happened to him, what living on the streets had been like, and what `worse' had turned out to be. It was hard enough accepting it for Duo, let alone Meiran.

“Then, you're a teacher, or a secretary?” he asked.

“A cookery teacher. It turns out that, at least in that field, I am capable. Maybe, in a few years, I can go on to a Boston college. I hear that some colleges there have classes on Mandarin that I could teach. I guess that's why you didn't realize that I was here, you always were terrible at domestic affairs,” Meiran said with a smirk, making Wufei blush, “I'm glad to see that you've found happiness here, too.”

Wufei glanced at Fai.

“Well, I would be happier if Fai could stay, but he's only here for a week,” he told her. Meiran frowned at them.

“The two of you should be more careful. I know that it seems like America is a much more liberal place than home, and it is, but not as much as you think. It is true that people like us, who are different and wish to maintain that difference, are better off here, but that does not mean you should let your guard down,” Meiran warned.

There was that word again, Fai thought. `Different'. He had never thought about it all that much. He had understood that his sexuality and his lack of concern towards `masculine duties' had been different from his older brothers, from all the boys he had ever known, besides Wufei, but he had just accepted it as a part of his personality. He had become accustomed to the teasing and ostracized attitudes his family and community had given him. Wufei had told him that Duo was bullied because he was different, too, and wasn't that why he had spent all this money just to see and speak with his boyfriend? It was because he was different, because he loved a boy, he was being bullied by his family and his own culture to the point that he wasn't even allowed to call Wufei on the phone. It was… a strange feeling, realizing that he was being tormented by the people he should be consider to be his own world. Wufei's friends, who yesterday had been mere strangers, were nicer to him than anyone in his family had ever been.

“Fai's right,” Meiran continued, regaining Fai's attention at the sound of his name, “You shouldn't be kissing in broad daylight like this. I know it isn't fair, your parents brought you here so you could be yourself and not be in danger or feel cheated all the time, but I also know that you would never do anything to put Fai's life in danger. When I first came here, I quickly learned that being a single woman in America is just as unwanted as anywhere else; people assume things about you and become suspicious. It is the same for homosexuality. I'm not saying you should hide, or neglect showing your boyfriend affection in public, I am merely pointing out that you should be more careful. Do you understand?”

Wufei and Fai nodded. Wufei understood what she was talking about more than Fai did, having lived in America long enough to know that it wasn't the safe haven many people made it out to be. It was a nice place and he didn't feel as stifled, but he knew that there were certain things, behaviors, that he could never indulge in and kissing his boyfriend in public was simply one of them. He had seen reports on the news about homosexuals being murdered in hate crimes and he refused to be made a victim by those people.

Fai straightened a little as the school door flung open and Duo ran out, followed by Trowa, Quatre, and Heero, a large textbook in his hand, proof of the accomplished task.

“Hey, Ms. Long,” Duo greeted with a wave of his hand. Wufei quickly realized that his friend was actually a student of his other friend as Meiran smiled at him in familiarity.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Maxwell. I was just on my way home. We'll be seeing each other tomorrow and I'll be looking forward to seeing what dessert you choose to make,” she said with a fond smile. Duo nodded.

“I'll be sure to find something to surprise you,” he grinned. This week was his cooking midterm and everyone in class had to pick a dessert to make that they hadn't before as their test. Next week would be the midterms for all his other classes, so he was glad he had the time to be more diligent on this one.

Cooking might be seen as a joke to his other classmates, but Duo hated the idea of being a failure, even in an elective. He had failed his entire life, which was why he tried so hard at school, he just wanted to show that he was good at something, and he loved to learn. He and Name had been practicing cooking at home for that reason, and because, one day, he wanted to make something that would really impress his new family. He was still new to it, though, his previous cooking experiences consisting of heating up frozen dinners or nuking week old pizza.

He was getting better at it, he now had pasta and various Italian dishes down pat and was struggling through some of Heero and Name's favorite Japanese foods. He found that he was rather good at making onigiri and sukiyaki, but sushi was eluding him at the moment. He didn't understand why he couldn't just mix the rice, seaweed, fish, vegetables, and various other ingredients together in a bowl and do away with all that… folding. He did like the ones that were just salmon on top of rice, and the one with the eel, though it was a bit slimy and weird at first, though he could never remember the proper names of them, which made him feel like an idiot since Name was using her free time just to teach him.

“I'm sure you will,” Meiran said cheekily and, waving to Fai and Wufei, she left them to look for her car.

“I thought that you didn't take Cooking,” Duo mused to Wufei. He knew that Ms. Long had moved from China not too long ago, but still, the odds of she and Wufei knowing each other didn't seem all that great.

“She used to be a member of my family,” Wufei said in a small voice as he watched his ex-cousin walk away, “Well; I guess she still is a part of my family.”

“Small world,” Duo remarked, “If she was a member of your family, shouldn't you tell your parents she's here? They might like to see her again.”

Fai stared at Duo incredulously. He was amazed that the young teenager would be so thoughtful, not even he had thought of mentioning Meiran's presence to Wufei's parents, but it was a good idea. For someone who had yet to say a thing about his own family, Duo seemed to have a great deal of respect for these sorts of matters.

“I will,” Wufei said resolutely.

“If you want to show Fai around the library, we should go now,” Heero said, already making his way towards the car.

“Do you have your library card?” Quatre asked Heero, “There's a book I've been meaning to have Duo read, but none of the bookstores have it in stock.”

At the mention of Duo's name, Heero's blue eyes flickered briefly to the braided boy and he hesitantly nodded, but didn't say a word. Fai watched him in confusion. Heero didn't seem to be so shy, so why was it whenever he was around Duo, he acted like he was tripping over his own feet? It was bewildering, and yet, oddly endearing. At that thought, the answer popped in Fai's mind and he smiled in amusement and he couldn't help but wonder as he watched how Duo, like Heero's own brief glance, kept looking at Heero's back, but whenever Heero turned or gave the notion of noticing Duo, he would just as quickly look away.

`Mălù,' he thought, `The both of you.'

 

End Part 16

 

Part 17 is already finished, it just needs to be betaed and I'm halfway done with part 18, so hopefully, I'll be able to post again real soon. For those impatient to wait, I'm planning on posting what I have on my livejournal account tomorrow after class, or maybe tonight if I have the time.